An Incomplete Education - 3,684 Things You Should Have Learned but Probably Didn't

386 AN I N C O M P L E T E

EC (EURO

Gidget looks on as Moniqu
hatchet and lend each othe
ganization established by de
three earlier European "co
Market."

Return with us now to
Europe—France, Italy, Wes
the Netherlands, and Luxem
the European Coal and Stee
flow of those two commod
direction of a "High Author
bit of its sovereignty. Now
so well that the same six n
restrictions. They form the
EEC, nicknamed the Comm
eliminate all internal tariff b
the rest of the world, and t
the six nations' frontiers. A
Community (Euratom), whi
resources and research. Both
same supranational "High A
1967 resulted in the full-blo

Sounds pretty tame, we k
on the part of a clutch of sh
new economic power was b
was created to the east of th
old European rivalries, sus
over. Moreover, Germany,
spectable again, France go
everybody got to feel like th

T h e rest of Europe coul
something big. It was. In 1
members of the Common M
nity); Norway would have, b
ceremony, when a referendu
membership. In 1981, Greec
gal; T u r k e y is currently line
isn't Utopia we're talking ab
with every passing year (and
those poor, agriculture-heav

EDUCATION

OPEAN COMMUNITY)

ue, Gina, Usa, and Katrinka decide to bury the
er their second-favorite sweaters. An umbrella or­
egrees in 1952, 1958, and 1967, the EC integrated
ommunities," including the so-called "Common

'52, when six industrialized nations of Western
st Germany, and the Benelux countries (Belgium,
mbourg)—pooled their coal and steel resources in
el Community (ECSC), which permitted the ready
dities across international boundaries, under the
rity" to which each nation surrendered just a little
it's 1958, and the coal-and-steel plan has worked
nations decide to drop a few more formalities and
e European Economic Community (abbreviated
mon Market, or the "Inner Six"), which aims to
barriers, to hit upon a unified policy with regard to
to allow money and workers to move freely within
Also created then: the European Atomic Energy
ich provided for the pooling of peacetime atomic
h the EEC and Euratom were structured along the
Authority" as the ECSC; the merger of the three in
wn European Community (EC).

know. Still, with this series of voluntary suturings
hell-shocked, no-longer-great nations of Europe, a
born to the west of the Soviet Union, a strong ally
he U.S., and—in one bold stroke—any number of
spicions, and potential conflicts were smoothed
once accepted into the set-up, began to feel re­
ot to feel like the boss of something again, and
hey belonged.
ldn't help wondering if it wasn't missing out on
1973, Britain, Ireland, and Denmark became full
Market (and, by extension, the European Commu­
but pulled out a few minutes before the induction
um showed that a majority of Norwegians opposed
ce joined, then, five years later, Spain and Portu­
ed up, pen in hand, hoping to do likewise. This
bout: Political integration seems less and less likely
d every new member), and it's not easy welcoming
vy, and not-always-stable nations of southern Eu-

POLI

rope into your club when that club's main act
European Community is still a bona-fide moder
indirect—of postwar diplomacy and economic pla

EFTA (EUROPEAN FRE
ASSOCIATION

T h e sorority for those coeds who didn't want to le
were happier singing madrigals, throwing pots, a
dating football players. Formed 1960, by Britain,
Switzerland, Austria, and Portugal. Spurred on by
Market, the so-called "Outer Seven" wanted to p
and trade, but screwed up their noses, each for h
whiff of political integration. T h e seven elimina
themselves, but went on maintaining separate ta
side world, an arrangement that allowed Britain t
monwealth system of trade preferences. Iceland j
been an associate member since 1961; Britain
pledged the rival sorority in 1973, Portugal a deca

COMECON (COUNCIL FO
ECONOMIC ASSIST

Natasha cleans up the yard and ties the children
by Russia and her Eastern European satellites: P
gary, Czechoslovakia, Bulgaria, Romania, and
method for making renegade Yugoslavia (Commun
trol) feel left out and threatened; gradually, howe
C O M E C O N began to see Western Europe—and
main goad and target. (Albania, a fan of Red Ch
Mongolia joined in 1962 and Cuba in 1972.) As fo
and "assistance," don't press your luck: Keep in m
in the Fifties simply announced that Hungary a
make things in factories, Bulgaria and Romania
that. The military counterpart to C O M E C O N (a
the Warsaw Pact, in which the Soviet Union play
Germany plays the part of West Germany, and R

TICAL SCIENCE 387

tivity is prosperity. But the
n miracle, a coup—however
anning.

EE TRADE
N)

end each other sweaters, and
and gazing into the fire than
Denmark, Norway, Sweden,
y the success of the Common
promote economic expansion
her own reasons, at even the
ated tariff restrictions among
ariff structures with the out­
to continue within the Com­
oined in 1971, and Finland's
and Denmark, you'll recall,
ade later.

OR MUTUAL
TANCE)

to a tree. Established 1949,
Poland, East Germany, Hun­

Albania. Originally Stalin's
nist, but outside Soviet con­
ever, in the Khrushchev era,

not poor Yugoslavia—as its
hina's, was expelled in 1961;
or the meanings of "mutual"
mind how Khrushchev, back
and Czechoslovakia were to

were to farm, and that was
and equivalent to N A T O ) is
ys the part of the U.S., East
omania is France.

388 AN I N C O M P L E T E

OECD (ORGAN
COOPERATIO

A few of the girls get toget
meeting-time having lunch.
Western European nations,
tion. Assumed its present sh
in, and all twenty nations, a
vowed to turn their attentio
lend them money, pat them
Australia, New Zealand, and
associate member. Housed
Boulogne that once belonged
attracting delegates.

ANZU
NE

UNITED

Gidget goes Down Under. S
vided for mutual assistance
"of an armed attack in the P
moment marked a slight tur
seemed like such a dynamit
turning towards the U.S. F
game plan: Two days later a
the next week, yet another w
sense it would make to inte
land wants no part of Americ

OAS (O
AME

Gidget flies to Rio. Also to
mingo, and Tegucigalpa. T
built on the foundations of

EDUCATION

NIZATION FOR ECONOMIC
ON AND DEVELOPMENT)

her to plan a charity ball, but spend most of the
T h e successor to an earlier grouping of eighteen
established in 1948 to oversee postwar reconstruc­
hape in 1961, when the U.S. and Canada signed
already solidly committed to helping themselves,
on to the "developing" nations and proceeded to
m on the back, and serve as role models. Japan,
d even Finland eventually joined; Yugoslavia is an
in an elegant chateau just off Paris's Bois de
d to the Rothschilds, the O E C D has little trouble

US (AUSTRALIA/
EW ZEALAND/
D STATES COUNCIL)

Signed in 1951, this tripartite security treaty pro­
should any of the three signatories be the victim
Pacific area." For Australia and New Zealand, the
rning away from Mother England, who no longer
te champion of anybody, including herself, and a
For the U.S., it was all part of the Asian-Pacific
similar pact was signed with the Philippines, and,
with Japan. Lately there's been talk of how much
egrate Japan into ANZUS—and of how New Zea­
ca's nuclear umbrella.

ORGANIZATION OF
ERICAN STATES)

Buenos Aires, Mexico City, Bogota, Santo Do­
The most recent Pan-American "arrangement,"
f the 1910 Pan-American Union, and meant to

POLI

promote the joint welfare, protect everyone's sov
generally get the job done—most often railroad
tions through the annual conferences, a trend that
expulsion of Castro's Cuba from the organization
seem a little less one-sided than they used to,
all-for-one, one-for-all love-in; if there's been a
mutual solidarity, but human-rights abuses. An
Canada has never belonged to the OAS or to any
the-New-World bodies. And stay awake: Don't
other OAS—Organisation de l'Armée Secrète—t
D e Gaulle during the Algerian war for independe
Sixties.

OPEC (ORGANIZATION OF
EXPORTING COUN

Abdul goes to Caracas—or at least he did in 1960
Iraq, Kuwait, Qatar, and Saudi Arabia converged
where they agreed to check overdevelopment by
and to maintain steady—and coordinated—prices
Ecuador, Indonesia, Gabon, Nigeria, Algeria, L
Emirates; the oil companies were on their way ou
$40 a barrel instead of $3; and, on account of the p
among the oil producers, what started out as a t
intense international political significance. Not t
much. Or that it's easy to give a dinner party for t
that Indonesia, Algeria, Gabon, and Ecuador all
though, thanks to new oil discoveries and redu
West, and to dissension within OPEC, the cartel's
broken.

OAU (ORGANIZATION OF A

Gidget's forced to have second thoughts about al
to the daughter of the black family who tried t
country club. Founded in 1963 at a Pan-African c

TICAL SCIENCE 389

ereignty, settle disputes, and
ding anti-Communist resolu-
t continued right through the
n. Hemisphere relations now
though, and the OAS is no

major theme lately, it's not
anomaly for the discerning:
y of its predecessor so-this-is-
confuse this OAS with the
he terrorist group out to get
ence, defunct since the early

F PETROLEUM
NTRIES)

0, when delegates from Iran,
on the capital of Venezuela,

y the Western oil companies
s. Soon they were joined by
Libya, and the United Arab
ut (though not down); oil cost
preponderance of Arab states
rade cartel began to take on
that the Arabs agree on that
thirteen and serve something
l like. By the mid-Eighties,
uced oil consumption in the
s power seemed pretty much

FRICAN UNITY)

ll the terrible things she said
o get into Gidget's parents'
conference; consists of some

Clockwise from top: The ^SSEMB
European Community (EC), US OF S
a.k.a. the Common Market; à GOVERNM
the Association of Southeast
Asian Nations (ASEAN); the R. OF THE
Organization of African Unity
(OAU); and the Organization
of Petroleum Exporting Coun­
tries (OPEC).

BLy OF
STATE
NMENT

SUDAN

POLI

fifty members—every country on (or just off) th
South Africa and its Namibia (or, as Gidget used
little like the OAS except that there's no United
body else, and no one's first language is Spanish
carved up by its colonial landlords of the last cent
history or tribal loyalties—a lot of OAU energ
boundary grievances and determining who legitim
doesn't own whom. (Morocco's annexation of th
hara and South Africa's intractability with regard t
items.) If you're invited, wear your tribal robe ov
bring along a burnous; OAU conferences get a lit

ASEAN (ASSOCIATION OF
ASIAN NATION

Gidget sits reading Vogue; somewhere in the Sout
man sneezes. For the connoisseur of internation
only as proof that you never know who's going to
for a brainstorming session, but also as perhaps
impact the Common Market phenomenon has ha
in Bangkok in 1967, by Thailand, Malaysia, Sin
Indonesia, but didn't meet, not even once, unt
U.S. had pulled out of Vietnam, leaving a vacuum
them decided to create a "zone of peace, freed
sultanate of Brunei joined in 1984.) Basically an
regional economic integration hasn't really gotten
only 16 percent among themselves anyway—ASE
and barely political. On the other hand, it's sti
anti-Communist force in the area, maintaining a r
Communist encroachments, even if it can't decide
in Vietnam and Cambodia, or China, looming o

TICAL SCIENCE 391

he African continent, except
to say, Southwest Africa). A

d States to intimidate every­
h. Given the way Africa was
tury—with total disregard for
ies are spent on redressing
mately owns or, more likely,
e once Spanish Western Sa­
to Namibia are recent agenda
ver your three-piece suit and
ttle schizophrenic.

F SOUTHEAST
NS)

th China Sea, a shrimp fisher­
nal groupings. Included not
o invite whom into his house
the premier example of the
ad around the world. Formed
gapore, the Philippines, and
til 1976, by which time the
m in the area, and the five of
dom, and neutrality." (The
n economic union—although

anywhere, and their trade is
EAN is decidedly nonmilitary
ill, faute de mieux, the major
reasonably solid front against
e whether Russia, encamped
over all, is the bigger threat.