The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya

Thing is a bit rude now. That thing’s
“She introduced herself as a ten-ye
little girl that it’s hard to believe she’s re
fine if this were Little League, but the
open to the general public!”
It’s not as though I brought my sis
design, careful and thorough. Here was m
I had absolutely no interest in waking up
athletic activity. I had no control over
place on this day. In which case, it wou
this over with as soon as possible. In othe
go on home. Considering the members w
no chance of winning our first match. Re
about. Watch us end up winning by acci
was necessary to add a factor to guara
school girl added into the mix, it’d be a j
I couldn’t tell Haruhi, but I did, in f
own.
“Hmph, whatever.”
Haruhi snorted as she turned to the si
“It’s a good enough handicap. I’d fee
Apparently, she is seriously intent on
“By the way, we haven’t decided on
are we going to do?”
“I already thought that through,” Ha
face as she took some folded-up pieces o
out who our roster would be. What was s
“You don’t have any problems with d
Eight lines were drawn on each she
looked like ladder lottery to me. Maybe I
“What are you talking about? It’s ob
and one for field position. Also, I’m the p
“… So all you came up with was the
“What’s with that look on your
democratic method. They used lottery to
Greece!”
Don’t compare the ancient Greek g

Page15

still my sister.
ear-old fifth grader. She’s such a sweet
elated to you. So anyway, she would do
e baseball tournament we’re entering is

ster without any thinking. This was by
my logic. The fact of the matter was that
p early on Sunday morning to engage in
the forces that had brought me to this
uld only be natural for me to want to get
er words, we just needed to lose fast and
we had besides my sister, we already had
egardless, this was Haruhi we’re talking
ident. That would definitely be a pain. It
antee our loss. With an amateur grade
joke if we won.
fact, have a working human brain of my

ide.
el bad if we slaughtered the other team.”
n winning. I wonder how.
n a batting order or positions yet. What

aruhi said with a satisfied smirk on her
of paper out of her pocket. We just found
she going to base her selection on?
deciding through this, right?”
eet of paper. There were two sheets. It
I was hallucinating?
bviously a lottery. One for batting order
pitcher and leadoff.”
method for deciding?”
face? Got a problem with it? It’s a
o choose government officials in ancient

government system to modern Japanese

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batting order selection. And you’re the
position. How is that democratic?

… Oh, well. This should mean that
When they were explaining the rules earl
would be called if one team was up by
home now. After all, our opponents fo
defending champions and the leading can

The Kamigahara Pirates. A local college
would be considered a hardcore club. Th
was here to win. It was obvious just from
were pumped up and shouting as they
setting up double plays. They were the
different look in their eyes. For a momen
the wrong place, before I looked at our su
at the city sports ground hosting the base

I had been fine with losing, but I wa
team was so pathetic that I wanted to apo

As I plotted how to flee in the face of
a line.

“I’m going to explain our strategy no
She sounded like a manager.
“Okay? First of all, do whatever it tak
your way to third base. Batters should hi
By my calculations, we can score at least
That may be what the calculations
have to wonder where she gets all her
come from anywhere. After all, she’s
confidence. However, most people in t
“idiot.” And this is no mere idiot. She re
idiot world. The queen of idiots!
Allow me to inform you of the sta
determined by the god of fortune.
Leading off is pitcher Haruhi Suz
Mikuru Asahina. Batting third is center
the second baseman, yours truly. Batt

Page16

only one who gets to choose your own

it’ll take even less time for us to lose.
lier, I remembered hearing that the game
y ten. I should start getting ready to go
or the first match were the three-time
ndidates to win this tournament.

e baseball team. I’d have to say that they
hey looked dead serious. Every member
m watching them warm up. All of them
practiced throwing the ball home and
real deal. Quite frankly, they just had a
nt, I was starting to wonder if we were in
urroundings and confirmed that we were
eball tournament.
as starting to want to escape reality. Our
ologize to the other team.
f the enemy, Haruhi made us all stand in

ow. Everybody do exactly as I say.”

kes to get on base. Once you’re on, steal
it strikes and ignore balls. Simple, right?
t three runs an inning.”
inside Haruhi’s brain are saying, but I
confidence from. Obviously, it doesn’t
the very embodiment of unwarranted
this world would call such a person an
eigns at the top of the food chain of the

arting roster for Team SOS Brigade as

zumiya. Batting second is right fielder
fielder Yuki Nagato. Batting cleanup is
ting fifth is the left fielder, my sister.

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Batting sixth is catcher Itsuki Koizu
Kunikida. Batting eight is third basem
Taniguchi.

There you have it. No subs. No mana

Once we had finished lining up and gre
went to the batter’s box. Since we’d c
called helmets, the staff lent us some s
we’d brought ourselves, there were eno
team courtesy of Haruhi.

Haruhi pushed up the brim of her h
stolen from our school baseball team and

The umpire called for us to play ball
his windup motion.

The first pitch.
Clang.
A metallic sound rang through the a
passing over the head of the center field
fence after one hop. By the time the ba
already on second base.
I wasn’t particularly surprised. I w
Asahina and Koizumi probably felt the
doesn’t know how to be surprised. How
exception, had astonished looks on their
pumping her fist up and down. Especially
“That pitcher is totally weak! The
shouted cheerfully. But it completely b
like holding back just because they were
Our second batter, Asahina, was wea
nervously stood in the batter’s box.
“P-Please go easy on me—Eek!”
A high inside fastball flew by befo
bastards. If you hit Asahina, there w
brawling.
Asahina was still as a statue as she w
umpire announced that the batter was ou

Page17

umi. Batting seventh is first baseman
man Tsuruya. Batting ninth is shortstop

ager. No fans.

eeting the other team, Haruhi promptly
completely forgotten about those things
secondhand white ones. As for the stuff
ough yellow megaphones for the whole

helmet as she raised the metal bat she’d
d flashed a cocky grin.
l, and the opposing team’s pitcher began

air as the white ball flew a fair distance,
der backing up furiously and hitting the
all came back to the infield, Haruhi was

would expect Haruhi to do this well.
e same way and I’m guessing Nagato
wever, the remaining members, without
faces as they stared at Haruhi repeatedly
y the ones on the other team.
rest of you follow my lead!” Haruhi
backfired. The opposition no longer felt
facing girls.
aring a helmet too big for her head as she

ore she even finished speaking. Those
will be dire consequences. Immediate

watched the second pitch fly by. Once the
ut, she returned to the bench, noticeably

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relieved.
“Hey! Why aren’t you swinging the b
Haruhi appears to be saying somethi

matters is that Asahina is safe.
“…”
Our third batter was Nagato. She w

dragging the tip of the metal bat along th
“…”
She let every pitch go by and was im

returned and turned to the next batter, me
“…”
She handed me the helmet and bat b

and going back to being a prop.
Haruhi’s angry yelling was getting

expecting anything from Asahina and Na
“Kyon! You’d better get a hit! You’r
What can you possibly expect from a
I followed Nagato’s lead and stood

word.
The first pitch I let go was a strike.

could even hear the swooshing sound of
idea how fast it was, but I could barely s
ball, and the next thing I knew, it was in
pitch like this?

The second pitch. I tried swinging. T
Swing and a miss. Didn’t even touch the

The third pitch. Whoa, the ball curve
If I hadn’t swung, it would have missed
swung and it was all over. Three cons
sides.

“Moron!”
The opposing team returned to their
hands from the middle-left side of the inf
Feeling pretty ashamed.

Our defense, quite frankly, had more hol

Page18

bat?!”
ing, but we can just ignore her. All that

wordlessly walked to the batter’s box,
he ground.

mmediately struck out. She then silently
e.

before mutely sitting down on the bench

g annoying. Well, it was her fault for
agato.
re batting cleanup!”
a cleanup chosen through lottery?
d in the batter’s box, without saying a

I was surprised. It was pretty fast. You
the ball slicing through the air. I had no
see it. In fact, I saw the pitcher throw the
n the catcher’s mitt. Haruhi doubled off a

The metal bat sliced through empty air.
ball. I doubt it’s going to happen.
ed. Was that what they call a curveball?
the outside corner and been a ball, but I
secutive strikeouts. Three outs. Change

r bench as Haruhi yelled and waved her
field.

les than an anthill in a savanna.

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The outfield was especially horrend
field and my sister was in left and neithe
fly balls. We found that out during preg
toward right field, it was me, the second
left, it was Taniguchi, the shortstop, wh
ball was falling. Whenever Asahina saw
crouch down and cover her head with he
from her. My sister, on the other hand, w
watching it drop three meters away from
cause.

Nagato, in center, fielded the ball p
within her range. And her movement was
the batter was guaranteed a double.

… Just lose quick and go home. That
“Let’s shut them out! Yeah!”
Haruhi was getting pumped up by
chest protector, shin guards, and catche
end of her pitches, Koizumi, were all bor
The opposing leadoff batter bowed
batter’s box.
Haruhi threw her first pitch with an o
Strike.
An impressive fastball with great s
right down the middle, but the force beh
didn’t even twitch.
Naturally, I, along with the other SO
If she were suddenly named to the n
wouldn’t be surprised. Anything is possib
But the same couldn’t be said for the
daze as the second pitch flew by. He
unfortunately, he struck out. Her pitch
slightly when it reached the batter. Really

Page19

dous. First of all, Asahina was in right
er of them was going to be catching any
game warm-ups. So when the ball flew
baseman, and when the ball flew toward
ho had to run at full speed to where the
w the ball flying toward her, she would
er glove, so we couldn’t expect anything
would cheerfully run after the ball before
m where she was, so that was another lost

perfectly, but she only reacted to balls
s sluggish, so if a line drive got past her,

t works.

herself. It goes without saying that the
er’s mitt for the person on the receiving
rrowed.
d to the umpire before heading to the

overhand motion.

spin, speed, and control. The pitch was
hind the ball was so intense that the bat

OS Brigade members, was not surprised.
national soccer team, we probably still
ble with Haruhi.
e opposing leadoff batter. He stood in a
finally swung on the third pitch, but
h apparently had a tendency to change
y vicious, just like Haruhi’s personality.

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PageG20oldenagato | mp4directs.com

The second batter, after receiving ad
bat to bunt. But after hitting two fouls, he

I was getting worried. At this rate, t
last inning. However, the meat of the or
solid hit on Haruhi’s pitch. If you keep
you’re going to give up hits.

The ball sailed far above Nagato
disappeared outside the ballpark.

Haruhi glared at the third hitter circli
Medea, just betrayed by Jason.

In any case, we were now one run be

We proceeded to give up a double to the
on the fifth hitter left runners on first and
leaguer inside right field to bring in a se
down the third base line, but Tsuruya sc
laser to throw the batter out. Finally time

The score at the end of the first inn
Except I didn’t want us to put up a goo
pronto so we could go home.

Our fifth, sixth, and seventh batters, m
down one after the next, and we found
bottom of the second before we could ev

It appeared that the opposing team h
weakness. They began focusing exclus
Taniguchi and I would dash to the out
successful around 10 percent of the tim
was a small price to pay for saving Asah
still looked cute when she was all frighte

And so in the end, we gave up five
The game should be over next inning.

Top of the third inning. Our turn to go on
Tsuruya, with her long hair tied beh

Page21

dvice from the leadoff batter, gripped his
e also struck out.
the game might not be decided until the
rder delivered. The third batter landed a
p throwing fastballs in the strike zone,

o, who didn’t move a muscle, and

ing the infield as though she were Queen

ehind.

cleanup hitter, and an error by Kunikida
d second. The sixth hitter landed a Texas
econd run. The seventh hitter drilled one
cooped it up effortlessly and delivered a
e to change sides.
ning was 2–0. It was surprisingly close.
od fight. We needed to give up ten runs

my sister, Koizumi, and Kunikida, went
d ourselves back out in the field for the
ven catch our breath.
had perceived that the outfield was our
sively on hitting fly balls. Every time,
tfield to try to catch the ball. We were
me and it was excessively tiring. Well, it
hina from her predicament. After all, she
ened and huddled into a ball.
runs this inning. 7–0. Three runs to go.

n the attack.
hind her back, was keeping it alive with

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foul balls. She appeared to be a person
popped the ball up behind her and the c
her helmet with the bat.

“That’s a toughie. It was all I could m
Haruhi creased her brow as she wa
Nothing good ever happens when she’s t
“Hmm. It looks like we’re going to n
Haruhi puckered her lips and slowly
“Hey! Time-out!”
She then grabbed Asahina, sitting pro
the neck.
“Eek!”
Haruhi disappeared behind the bench
girl with her. Both of them had been carr
became clear what had been inside those
“W-Wait…! Suzumiya! St-Stop… it!
I could hear bits and pieces of Asahin
“Come on! Get undressed! We’re get
The wind carried Haruhi’s booming v
When Asahina finally reappeared
appropriate outfit for this event. A s
ensemble in bright blue and white. She h
A cheerleader in every sense of the
that? It’s a mystery.
“Looking good there.”
Kunikida commented in a carefree m
“Mikuru, can I take a picture?”
Tsuruya chuckled as she took out a d
I should mention that Haruhi was w
just worn it by herself… but I didn’t f
outfit was, quite frankly, a ridiculously a
what she’s wearing.
“It might go better with a ponytail.”
Haruhi had gathered Asahina’s hair
when she noticed my gaze and pucke
canceled.
“Come on. Start cheering.”

Page22

with good reflexes, but eventually, she
catcher caught it. She returned, tapping

manage to get the bat on the ball.”
atched, seeming to be deep in thought.
thinking.
need that.”
motioned to the umpire.

operly with a megaphone in her hand, by

h, dragging the petite, gym uniform–clad
rying sports bags with them, and it soon
e bags.
!”
na’s adorable shrieking.
tting changed!”
voice to us. This again, huh?
d, she was wearing an exceedingly
sleeveless shirt and pleated miniskirt
held yellow pompoms in both hands.
word. Where did they get an outfit like

manner.

digital camera.
wearing the same outfit. She could have
feel that way. Asahina in a cheerleader
adorable sight. She looks cute no matter

together as she brushed it from behind,
ered her lips like a duckbill. Ponytail

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“What… H-How do I do that…?”
“Like this.”
Haruhi circled behind Asahina, grab
waving them up and down. Like some k
hissing, “Say it! Just say it!” or somethin
“Eek! Everybody! Please hit the ball!
Asahina screamed at the top of her
Taniguchi appeared to be psyched up
batter’s circle. Of course, I doubt that wil
pitcher.
As expected, Taniguchi returned to th
“Yeah, there’s no way I can hit that.”
That brought us back to the top of th
the batter’s box.
Still wearing that cheerleader outfit.

Previously, Haruhi and Asahina had dres
spectacle rather rough on the eyes, but th

At the moment, the opposition was h
Asahina was wonderful in every possibl
part, be said for Haruhi, barring her perso

Haruhi did not overlook the fact th
went out of whack, threw a really swee
for another stand-up double. While some
throw back to the infield, Haruhi slid int
third baseman’s eyes were when Haruhi

And the next batter was a beautifu
those of Haruhi’s. Asahina, cowering w
embarrassment as she endured the stares
nice.

The opposing pitcher was unable to m
at this point, but I suppose I shouldn’t
couldn’t hit it. Even when he was throwi

“Eh!”
Her eyes were shut when she swung
hit anything.

Page23

bbed her slender pale arms, and began
kind of funny dance. Haruhi was loudly
ng in her ear.
! Please do your best!”
r lungs in a falsetto. At the very least,
as he recklessly swung the bat in the
ll be enough to get a hit off the opposing

he bench dejected.
”
he order, and Haruhi once again stood in

ssed up as bunny girls, which had been a
he impact here was much the same.
having difficulty deciding where to look.
le way, and the same could, for the most
onality. Like her looks or figure.
hat the pitcher, whose control suddenly
et pitch. She hit it past the center fielder
e miscommunication occurred during the
to third base. I was wondering where the
slid.
ul cheerleader whose charms surpassed
with the bat in her hands, was dizzy with
of many males (including myself). Very

manage anything beyond a wobbly pitch
have been surprised when Asahina still
ing easy ball after easy ball.

g the bat, so it’d be pretty hard for her to

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Soon enough, she’d racked up two
waving her arms around on third base. W

“That appears to be a bunt signal,” K
“Did we ever decide on any signals?”
“No. However, we should be abl
Suzumiya would use in this situation. Sh
“Signaling for a squeeze with two o
to come up with something better than th
“Presuming that Asahina’s chances
using a squeeze play when the opposing
the infield to commit an error. Or perhap
least manage to make contact with the ba
“They’ve all figured it out, though.”
Their infielders were all ready to sw
something wrong with Haruhi’s gesturi
signaling for a bunt.
As expected, the squeeze play ende
idea what a squeeze was to begin with so
Haruhi’s obvious signals with a puzzled
flew by. Three outs. Change sides.
Like a puppy resigned to being sco
low spirits and stopped when Haruhi call
“Mikuru, come over here and buckle
“Eh…”
Haruhi raised both hands to pinch As
“This is punishment. Punishment. Le
“Pwease stop… Wit hurts…”
“Are you an idiot?”
I whacked Haruhi’s head with the me
“It’s your fault for giving signals th
yourself or something, stupid.”

That was when it happened.
Ring-ring. Koizumi pulled a cell pho

LCD display, cocking an eyebrow.
Asahina had a startled expression on

Page24

o strikes. At this point, Haruhi began
What is she doing?
Koizumi explained calmly.
”

le to conjecture what kind of signal
he’s probably signaling for a squeeze.”
outs? Even a tenured manager would try
hat.”
of hitting the ball are practically zero,
team least expects it may possibly cause
ps she believes that even Asahina can at
all.”

woop in on the ball. There was probably
ing. Everybody could tell that she was

ed in failure. After all, Asahina had no
o she simply tilted her head and watched
d look on her face while the third strike

olded by its owner, Asahina returned in
led her over.
down for some pain!”

sahina’s trembling cheeks and pulled.
et everyone look at your funny face!”

egaphone.
hat make no sense. Just steal home by

one out of his pocket and looked at the

n her face as she looked into the distance

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with one hand pressed against her left ear
Nagato looked straight up into the sk
Koizumi stopped me as we were disp
“Things have taken a bad turn.”
“I really don’t want to hear it, but go
“Closed space has just appeared. O

appears to be expanding at an alarming ra
Closed space.
The gray world I was already familia

stuck in that gloomy space left me traum
Koizumi continued to smile.
“Allow me to explain. Closed space

release stress. And Suzumiya happens
Therefore, closed space has appeared, an
mood, it will continue to expand, and the
will continue to rampage. There you have

Page25

r.
ky.
persing across the field.
ahead.”
On a scale never before witnessed. It
ate.”
ar with. As if I could ever forget. Getting
matized for life.
is an unconscious way for Suzumiya to
to be in a foul mood at the moment.
nd as long as Suzumiya retains her foul
e Celestials you are well acquainted with
e it.”

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Page26

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“… So you’re saying that Haruhi’s g
losing a baseball game? And it’s so bad t

“So it would appear.”
“Is she a child?!”
Koizumi didn’t reply. He simply chu
“She’s so full of it.”
Koizumi gave me a look.
“You’re still saying things like that a
doesn’t concern you. The ordeal before
lottery to determine the batting order, cor
“A ladder lottery, yeah. What about i
“And consequently, you became clea
“I’m not particularly happy about tha
“It doesn’t matter to Suzumiya whe
The issue here is the fact that you drew c
“Explain in a way I can understand.”
“It is very simple. You became the c
it. This wasn’t a coincidence. Suzumiya
cleanup batter. And then she was disappo
“So sorry about that.”
“Yes, I am also troubled by the cur
mood will only continue to worsen and c
“… So, what am I supposed to do abo
“Hit the ball. A long hit if possible. A
if it were a huge one. How about trying t
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve only eve
there’s no way I’m going to hit a ball tha
“All of the concerned parties sincerel
this ordeal.”
“Wishing isn’t going to help when I’m
“Let us do everything possible to p
inning. If we allow the game to end now
must do all we can to hold them to two ru
Koizumi didn’t look very worried, co

Bottom of the third. Haruhi went to

Page27

got her panties in a bunch because we’re
that she’s creating that stupid space?”

uckled. I sighed.

at this point? And you sound as though it
us is largely related to you. We used a
rrect?”
it?”
anup.”
at.”
ether you feel happy or under pressure.
cleanup.”

cleanup batter because Suzumiya desired
wished for you to play a big role as the
ointed by your dismal performance.”

rrent situation. At this rate, Suzumiya’s
closed space will continue to expand.”
out it?”
A home run would be terrific. Especially
to bounce one off the scoreboard?”
er hit home runs in video games. And
at curves like that.”
ly wish that you can do something about

m not a genie or a monkey’s paw.”
prevent the game from being called this
w, it will mean the end of the world. We
uns.”
onsidering the gravity of his words.

the pitcher’s mound without changing

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clothes. Asahina was also wearing the
field.

Haruhi had no qualms about exposi
same windup motion she used regardless
base.

The first batter hit a line drive that
Nagato, which led to an out. But she d
second batter’s deep fly that landed betw
red-hot pitches were as strong as ever, bu
bound to give up hits. No wonder these
Following that, two hits and a fielder’s c
Our backs were against the wall at this po
second. The game would be called aft
would happen to the world then.

Clang. The white ball shot into the
was all flustered in the vicinity of where
sprinted with all my might to the right s
Make it in time!

I dove. And caught the ball. The ball
“There!”
I then threw the ball as hard as I coul
cover second. The runner had been exp
didn’t even bother tagging up before he
the base with the ball in his glove. Out. D
We somehow pulled it off. Man, I’m
“Nice play!”
I basked in Asahina’s admiring gaze
Kunikida, my sister, and Tsuruya all wa
gloves. I glanced at Haruhi to find her
basically a portable whiteboard) with a tr
As I sat down on the bench with a
over.
“Picking up where we left off…”
I really don’t want to hear it.
“There actually is a way to remedy th
incident, when you and Suzumiya were
back?”

Page28

cheerleader outfit as she stood in right

ing her bare limbs as she went into the
s of whether or not any runners were on

t happened to be on a direct course for
didn’t even turn her head to look at the
ween left and center for a triple. Haruhi’s
ut if you keep throwing fastballs, you’re
e guys are a lock for the championship.
choice by Kunikida led to two more runs.
oint. And there were runners on first and
ter another run. And who knows what

air. Headed toward right field. Asahina
e the ball would land. No time to think. I
side of the field for the umpteenth time.

sat in the tip of my glove.

ld to Taniguchi, who had moved over to
pecting extra bases on that hit since he
e started running. Taniguchi stepped on
Double play.
exhausted.

and flashed a victory sign as Taniguchi,
alked by and patted my head with their
r glaring at the scoreboard (which was
roubled look on her face.
a towel over my head, Koizumi walked

he current situation. During the previous
in the other world, how did you make it

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Seriously, don’t remind me of that.
“If we use that method again, it may
“I refuse.”
Koizumi chuckled. “You’re really sta
“I thought you would say that. How
win the game. I just had an excellent ide
interests should coincide with ours.”
And with a grin on his face, Koizu
where Nagato was standing still. The on
movement was her short hair swaying
whisper something in her ear. Unexpect
me with emotionless eyes.
Did she just nod her head? Her head
strings had just been cut, before she trudg
I glanced left to find Asahina staring
“Nagato’s finally…”
Her face paled as she voiced those cu
“Is something up with her?”
“Nagato appears to be reciting an inc
“Incantation? What’s that?”
“Um… That’s classified.”
Asahina bowed her head apologetica
about it if it’s classified. Huh, I gues
happen again.
I could recall a thing or two regarding

One unusually hot evening back in M
classroom that day, I would certainly be
had muttered some kind of incantation a
who had tried to kill me. Oh, right. Naga

I wonder what she’s going to do this
I found out soon enough.
One swing of the bat. Home run.
Nagato barely used any strength wh
with the center of the pitcher’s fastball
disappeared beyond the fence.

Page29

get us out of the current crisis.”

arting to piss me off.”
w does this sound then? We just have to
ea. I’m sure it will go well. After all, her

umi walked off toward the white circle
nly part of her that showed any sign of
in the breeze as Koizumi appeared to
tedly, Nagato turned her head to look at

bobbed like the head of a puppet whose
ged off to the batter’s box.
at Nagato this time.

urious words.

cantation.”

ally. It’s fine, really. I can’t do anything
ss something unimaginable is about to

g Nagato’s incantations.

May. If Nagato hadn’t barged into the
e resting in a grave somewhere. Nagato
at a ridiculous speed to repel the attacker
ato was still wearing glasses back then.
time.

hen she swung the bat yet she connected
l and launched it into the sky before it

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I turned to look at my teammates. K
as he nodded in my direction. Asahina’
seem to be surprised. My sister and Tsu
awesome!” in admiration.

However, everybody else was simply
of the opposing team.

Haruhi skipped over to home plate
indifferently finished her lap around the b

“That was incredible! Where are you
She took Nagato’s arms and bent th
with a blank look on her face and let Har
Eventually, Nagato walked over to th
“Here.”
She pointed at the worn metal bat.
“This has been modified with a boost
“What’s that mean?” I asked. Nagato
“Homing mode.”
And with that, she trotted back to the
burying herself in a thick book she picke
The score was now 9–1 in the top o
be the last inning.

It appeared that their pitcher hadn’t ent
pitches were still more than fast enough a

And then I found out what Nagato ha
“Whoa!”
The bat moved on its own. Dragging
I thought that I’d barely hit the bal
though carried by the wind past the grass
dropped.
I see. Homing mode, is it…
I tossed aside the bat, which ha
automatically go after balls and hit them
began jogging around the bases.
Once I reached second base, I looke
waved her arms up and down, but she

Page30

Koizumi had an elegant smile on his face
’s face looked a bit stiff but she didn’t
uruya were innocently going, “That was

y dumbfounded. Including the members

to tap the helmet of Nagato, who had
bases.
u hiding that strength?”
hem back and forth. Nagato stood still
ruhi have her way.
he bench and handed me the bat.

t in attribute data,” she said.
o stared at me for a while.

e bench and sat down on the end before
ed up from below.
of the fourth. It appeared that this would

tirely recovered from his shock, but his
as far as I was concerned.
ad meant.

my arms and shoulders with it. Clang.
ll, but it went flying over the stands as
s and into the next field. Home run. Jaws

ad apparently obtained the ability to
m twice as far as normally possible, and

ed up and my eyes met Haruhi’s as she
e quickly looked away. You could just

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celebrate the way my sister and Tsuruya
Kunikida were astonished while Asahina
the nine members of the opposing team
faces.

I was feeling pretty guilty, but th
astonished.

My sister tottered over to the batte
hiding over half of her face since it wa
walk straight. The secret weapon I’d pr
swing at the first pitch and sent it flyin
most people call a home run.

There’s a limit to how ridiculous yo
sent an eighty mph (estimate) pitch thro
the main stands. It’s hard to believe this i

“Amazing!”
Haruhi didn’t doubt reality for a se
quickly circled the bases, and swung her
“What wonderful talent! You have a
definitely make it in the majors!”
My sister squealed cheerfully as Haru
This is just… Whatever, the score’s 9

I was sitting on the bench and holding m
Our home run offensive was still und

straight home runs in one inning. I’m ass
Taniguchi returned after a big hit.
“I’ve decided to join the baseball tea

my batting sense. After all, it felt like the
Kunikida stood next to him sounding
“Yeah, no kidding.”
As their mind-numbing conversati

Asahina, who looked unusually stiff, on
good thing they’re all so simple.

“You and me! Man-to-man!” Haruhi
the one who’s supposed to say that?

The metallic clang I was already s

Page31

are. As far as I could tell, Taniguchi and
a, Koizumi, and Nagato were silent, and
m had looks of bewilderment on their

he opposing team wasn’t done being

er’s box next with the batter’s helmet
as too big. I’m surprised she could even
repared to ensure our defeat took a full
ng over the fence. In other words, what

ou can be. A little girl in fifth grade just
own by a college student all the way to
is happening in reality.

econd. She greeted my sister, who had
around, all smiles.
a bright future ahead of you! You could

uhi swung her around.
9–3 now.

my head.
der way. The score was now 9–7. Seven
suming that we set a tournament record.

am. I could make it to the nationals with
e bat was hitting the ball by itself!”
g overly optimistic.

ion continued, Tsuruya was slapping
the shoulder and laughing loudly. It’s a

said as she held the bat. Isn’t the pitcher

sick of hearing rang again and the ball

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bounced off the scoreboard.
That made the score 9–8. During th

through three pitchers. They probably di
anyway. Poor guys.

We completed a rotation as Asahin
runs and we finally took the lead 11–9
starting to feel like this was getting pret
the members of the opposing team were l
They probably figured it was some kin
exactly wrong.

Before I handed the bat to the next
away from the end of the bench where sh

“That’s enough,” I said as Nagato
blinked multiple times in succession a
every ten seconds or so.

“I see,” she responded.
She placed her thin fingers on the
recited something really fast. I couldn’t
would have understood it if I had, so it di
Nagato then removed her fingers, ret
up again without saying a word.
Good grief.

My sister, Koizumi, and Kunikida struck
previous hits had been some kind of fluk

I’d forgotten, but this match had a
minutes was the limit. The organizers ha
the necessary matches today. Therefore,
lasted through the bottom of the fourth, w

Is it really okay for us to win?
“We cannot afford the alternative,” sa
“I have received word from my c
expansion of closed space has been chec
we still have to deal with those. But it w
show up.”
But if they make a comeback now, it’

Page32

his period, the opposing team had gone
idn’t want my sympathy, but they got it

na, Nagato, and I hit consecutive home
9. Eleven consecutive home runs. I was
tty dangerous. Since I had a feeling that
looking at our bat instead of our players.
nd of magic bat. I guess they weren’t

person up, my sister, I brought Nagato
he’d been reading.
o’s expressionless black eyes actually
as opposed to her customary one blink

handle of the bat I was carrying and
t make out what she said, but I doubt I
idn’t really matter.
turned to the bench, and picked her book

k out so fast you had to wonder if their
ke. In fact, it’d been plain cheating.
a time limit. In the first round, ninety
ad done this so they could get through all
the next inning would be dropped. If we
we would win.

aid Koizumi.
colleagues. Thanks to our efforts, the
cked. However, the Celestials remain so
would be a great help if no more of them

’ll be a walk-off loss. There’s no need to

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think about how bad Haruhi’s mood will
“And so I have an idea concerning th
Koizumi smiled to reveal teeth so

toothbrush commercial. He whispered hi
“Seriously?”
“I am very serious. This is our only

through this inning while giving up a min
Once again, good grief.

We informed the umpire of a change in p
Nagato would take over as catcher

center field. And I was switching position
Haruhi was grumbling when Koizum

change, but then she made a face once sh
“… Well, okay, I guess. But if you g

lunch!”
And with that, she retreated to second
Nagato was just standing there like s

put the chest protector and facemask and
such a gloomy girl be catcher?

Nagato trudged to her spot behind ho
Okay, time for the match to restart. T
get a chance to warm up. I have to throw
In any case, I gave it a throw.
Whuff.
The ball somehow managed to land i
“Take this seriously!”
That was Haruhi shouting back there
to sidearm it this time.
The second pitch. I was hoping that t
such luck. His bat rushed straight for my
one to him!
Smack.
“Strike!”
The umpire yelled loudly. He swung
However, the batter was looking at

Page33

l be then.
hat.”
white I wanted to tell him to go do a
is idea to me.

remaining option if we wish to make it
nimal number of runs.”

positions.
for Koizumi. Koizumi would move to
ns with Haruhi to stand on the mound.
mi first informed her about the pitching
he found out I was the relief pitcher.
give up a hit, you have to buy everyone

d base.
she was spaced out while Koizumi and I
d whatever on her. You sure about letting

ome plate and squatted down.
There wasn’t much time left, so I didn’t
w the first pitch of my life on the fly.

in Nagato’s glove. Ball.

e. I’m always dead serious, man. I tried

the batter might be fooled a little, but no
y weak pitch. Damn, I basically fed that

g and missed so that would be a strike.
Nagato’s hand with an incredulous

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expression on his face.
I understood how he felt. How else

disbelief after watching my weak ball
when it was on the verge of making cont

“…”
Nagato remained squatting as she sn
After catching her floater, I wound up to
Every time I threw the ball, it turne
And my third pitch was way off the ma
changed course after a few meters, curvi
like inertia and gravity and aerodynamic
it landed in the catcher’s mitt. Smack. T
body shook a bit.
The batter’s eyes were as wide as sa
After a while, he finally opened his mout
“… Strike two!”
He didn’t sound very confident. Th
over with.
I was just randomly throwing the bal
anything. Not using much strength to th
ball I threw would go inside the strike zo
if he did.
The secret lay in whatever Nagato wa
And it was so secret that I had no idea
some sort of data manipulation like ho
reconstructed the classroom or whatever
As a result, this was like pitching to
Nagato was the MVP for the day.
In no time, the opposing team had ra
at a 2–0 count. Should it really be this
Kamigahara Pirates.
I turned to the batter, whose face wa
pitch without exerting any effort.
The ball changed course toward the s
might. The ball changed course again to
around so hard you could see an afteri
over… except it wasn’t.

Page34

would he react? Anybody would be in
abruptly drop thirty centimeters right
tact with the bat.

napped her wrist to return the ball to me.
pitch again.
ed into some kind of half-assed fastball.
ark—or it would have been if it hadn’t
ing in a way that obviously ignored stuff
cs. It even managed to accelerate before
That was a good sound. Nagato’s small

aucers. The umpire was also speechless.
th.

his is getting annoying so I’ll just get it

ll at this point. Not even trying to aim or
hrow the ball either. Nonetheless, every
one if the batter didn’t swing, and curve

as mumbling every time I threw the ball.
a how it worked either. It was probably
ow she’d previously saved my life and
she did to the bat earlier.
o an electric fan. Without a doubt, Yuki

acked up two outs and the last batter was
easy for me to close the game? Sorry,

as pale at this point, and threw a normal

strike zone. The batter swung with all his
oward the outside corner. The bat swung
image. Strikeout. Whew, it was finally

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“!”
The ball spun toward the backstop. I
the curve. The ball grazed Nagato’s ca
name for it) sank like a forkball before b
rolling off.
It was a wild pitch.
Given this last chance, the batter d
frozen in her catcher’s stance, squatting i
“Nagato! Pick up the ball and throw i
Nagato looked up blankly in respo
standing up and chasing the loose ball
batter had already touched first base and
“Hurry!”
Haruhi was standing on second base
Nagato finally caught up to the ball a
were a sea turtle egg. She then turned to
“Second!”
I pointed straight behind me. Haruhi
her lungs. Nagato nodded her head about
Whoosh. A white laser beam passe
strands of my hair with it. I didn’t realize
using only her wrist until I saw the ball
all the way into center field.
Haruhi was staring at her previous
apparently fallen down right in front of s
Koizumi, the center fielder, picked up
walking over to the batter-runner with hi
he bent down to tag him out. Then he apo
“I’m terribly sorry. We happen to be
As I wondered if he was including m
a deep sigh.
Game over.

The members of the Kamigahara Pirate
though. Were they going to be punish
frustrated by the fact that they lost to a

Page35

It appeared that she’d gone overboard on
atcher’s mitt and the Mystery Ball (my
bouncing off a corner of home plate and

dashed off. However, Nagato remained
in silence with her facemask still on.
it!”
onse to my instructions before slowly
l. At an excruciatingly slow pace. The
was attempting to make it to second.

and waving her glove around.
and picked it up, staring at it as though it
me.

was standing there shouting at the top of
t a millimeter—
ed the side of my head. It took a few
e the laser was Nagato throwing the ball
knock Haruhi’s glove off her hand and

sly gloved hand while the runner had
second base in terror.
p the glove and withdrew the ball before
is universal beaming smile on his face as
ologized.
a slightly unreasonable group.”
me in that unreasonable group, I released

es were weeping. I didn’t really get it,
hed by alumni later? Or were they just
a team of high school amateurs that had

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more females than males and included a
On the other hand, Haruhi, who ob

losers were feeling, was in high spirits.
the one she had back on that day when s
SOS Brigade.

“Let’s win this tournament and ente
Dominating the entire country isn’t just a

She was shouting stuff like that in a s
who looked interested, though. I merely
already, and I’m pretty sure the High Sc
way.

“Excellent work.”
Koizumi had come over next to me w
“By the way, what do we do now? Sh
I shook my head.
“So basically, Haruhi will be in a ba
mean we have to keep winning. That w
magic. No matter how you look at it, it’
trouble if we keep ignoring the laws of p
“That sounds best. The truth is that I
eliminate closed space. It appears that t
Celestials.”
“Say hello to your people for me. To
“I shall do that. In any case, this inci
allow Suzumiya to be bored. We shou
future endeavors.”
After telling me to take care of the
administrative tent to inform them that w
round.
He left me with the harder job. Guess
I walked over to where Haruhi was
with her and poked her in the back.
“What? You want to dance with us?”
“We need to talk.”
I took Haruhi outside the field. She b
“Look over there.”
I motioned toward the bench where th

Page36

girl in grade school. Probably both.
bviously didn’t care about the grief the
She had a smile on her face much like
she came up with the idea of creating the

er the national tournament this summer!
a dream!”
serious tone. Taniguchi was the only one
y wished that she would give it a break
chool Baseball Federation felt the same

while I wasn’t paying attention.
hall we continue into the second round?”

ad mood if we lose, right? Which would
would require more of Nagato’s bogus
’s pretty obvious that there’s going to be
physics. Let’s forfeit.”
need to go help my colleagues soon. To
they need more people to deal with the

those blue guys too.”
ident has taught us that it is a bad idea to
uld take that into consideration during

e rest, Koizumi headed off toward the
we wouldn’t be advancing to the second

s I don’t really have a choice.
s forcing Asahina to dance the can-can

”

became unexpectedly quiet.

he Kamigahara Pirates were sobbing.

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“Don’t you feel bad for them?”
“Why?”
“They’ve probably undergone in
opportunity to become the champion fo
they were probably under a lot of pressur
“So?”
“They probably have a few benchwa
play, that are holding back their tears.
behind the net. You really have to feel b
get a chance to play.”
“What’s your point?”
“Let’s forfeit.”
I just said it flat out.
“You’ve had your fun, right? I’ve
asks. I’d rather just go grab lunch and ta
arms and legs are completely worn out.”
That was the truth. After all that run
was physically exhausted. Mentally too.
Haruhi then made her favorite face, t
as she glared up at me. I was starting to g
“You’re okay with that?”
“I sure am. Asahina, Koizumi, and e
My sister’s been over there practicing h
give her some candy, she’ll drop the bat.”
“Hmm.”
Haruhi alternated looks between me
maybe she was just pretending to think it
“I guess that’s fine then. I’m pretty
was thinking, baseball sure is a simple sp
Really.
I kept my mouth shut and shrugged.

When I told the captain of the opposing
to the second round in our place, he
weeping. That just made me feel even g
win by using some ridiculous methods of

Page37

ntensive training for this day. The
or four years running was on the line so
re.”

armers who didn’t even get a chance to
Yeah, like that guy with the crew cut
bad for him, right? He’s never going to

had enough to share with anyone who
alk about stupid stuff. To be honest, my

nning between the infield and outfield, I

the one that resembled a sulking pelican,
get worried when she finally spoke up.

even Nagato probably feel the same way.
her swinging for a while now, but if you
”

and the field as she thought it over. Or
t over. She grinned.
hungry anyway. Let’s go have lunch. I
port. I didn’t expect to win so easily.”

team that we were letting them advance
e began thanking me profusely while
guiltier. After all, we basically stole that
f cheating.

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I had immediately turned to leave w
whispered in my ear.

“By the way, how much do you want
And so, at the moment, our group, exclud
of a family restaurant and chowing down

My sister had grown attached to Har
them, stabbing at her hamburger steak
Taniguchi was holding a serious discus
going to join the baseball team. Yeah, h
attention was now focused on Nagato. “S
about you from Mikuru.” Her random
underclassman, who silently munched aw

Page38

when the captain told me to hold on and
t for the bat you guys were using?”
ding Koizumi, was occupying the corner
n.
ruhi and Asahina and sat between two of
k with a knife in a dangerous fashion.
ssion with Kunikida about how he was
he can do whatever he wants. Tsuruya’s
So you’re Yuki Nagato? I’ve heard a lot
m chatter was ignored by her reticent
way at her BLT sandwich.

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

Page39

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

Everybody had ordered way more
Since I was paying for everybody.

Haruhi had announced that little ti
brilliant idea. I have no idea how Haruhi
able to trace her pattern of thought, so I
protesting because it would have been
pretty good mood.

Because I’d managed to get my hand
Here’s to the success of the Kamigah

The following happened a few days later
After school one day, we were in ou

normal day as usual.
I was playing Othello with Koizumi

maid outfit. Nagato sat next to us read
from the library that looked like a thick
dressed according to my request today.
maid than by a nurse. And Asahina stood
our match.

This was the usual scene in this room
And this peaceful time, as tranquil a
ruined by Haruhi Suzumiya.
“Sorry I’m late!”
Haruhi apologized for no reason as sh
Her entire face was lit up by a smile
she smiles like that, something’s bound
We live in a funny world.
As expected, Haruhi had something s
“Which one do you want?”
I placed a black piece on the board a
pieces.
“Which what?”
“This.”
Haruhi held out two sheets of paper.
More flyers again. I looked them ove
other was for a football tournament. I’m

Page40