The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya

let us know somebody had picked up on
f a trembling Asahina’s hand through my

ntercom.

that I’m an acquaintance of Haruhi

e other side of the intercom. There was a

ocked. I got into the elevator with the
the seventh floor as our destination was
ed while in the future. As soon as I rang
wly.
ddenly felt surreal. Had Asahina and I

oked exactly the same. The fact that she
e way she impassively stared at me, and
h seemingly had no body warmth or
he was exactly the same as the Nagato I
his Nagato had that the more recent one
g when I first met her.
e she had stopped being a glasses girl at
face.

and gave a friendly smile. Nagato, as
face. Asahina was trembling as she hid

m. I took that as a yes and entered with
aded toward the living room. The room
ars. Nagato stood still, waiting for us to
emain standing as I attempted to explain
From the first day of school when I met

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I gave her a general rundown, abrid
for five whole minutes as she impassive
summary of Haruhi’s story that lacks any

…“And so. The you from three years
Nagato scrutinized the card I present
finger over the weird characters. Kind of
“Understood.”
Nagato simply nodded. Seriously? W
that bothered me.
I put my hand on my forehead as I di
“I’ve known Nagato for a while now
So in other words, the present you. Tod
met us, right?”
I have to admit that I had no idea w
responded as the edges of her glasses flas
answered.
“Yes.”
“And so…”
“Requesting permission to access th
divergent variant. I have downloaded rev
No idea what you’re talking about.
“The ‘me’ in three years and the ‘me’
“So? Of course you’re the same pers
three years ago would share memories w
“We do now.”
“How?”
“We have synchronized.”
Yeah, I don’t get it.
Nagato removed her glasses without
me with her emotionless eyes and blinke
of the book-loving girl. The Yuki Nagato
“Why are you wearing a North High
“I have not. I am currently in standby
“Standby… You’re going to stand by
“Yes.”
“That’s just…”
That’ll take a world of patience. Won

Page67

dging various spots. I must have spoken
ely stared at me through her glasses. A
y real point, if I do say so myself.
s later gave this to me.”
ted without batting an eye and traced her
f looked like she was reading a bar code.

Wait, hold on. There was something else

id some thinking.
w, but three years ago… Today for you…

day would have been the first time you

what I was saying. Nevertheless, Nagato
shed. In a calm and indifferent voice she

he memory corresponding to my time-
versible border regression data.”

’ at this time are the same person.”
son. That doesn’t mean the Nagato from
with the Nagato from three years later.”

t any further response. She looked up at
ed. That was definitely the familiar face
o I remembered.
uniform? Did you already enroll?”
y mode.”
y for three whole years?”

n’t you be bored? But Nagato shook her

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head.
“That is my role.”
She stared directly at me with clear e

time travel.” Nagato spoke in a flat voice
“The TPDD is merely a device for

primitive. There are a number of theorie
through the time continuum.”

Asahina squeezed my hand again.
“Um… What exactly do you mean…
“When transportation of organic lif
noise may occur. We believe it to be imp
By we, she means the Data Overmind
“You’re capable of perfect time trave
“The process does not matter. The tra
“Going from the present to the past o
If Asahina can do it, maybe Nagato c
one with an excess abundance of power.
Nagato and Koizumi, I’m starting to sus
has no idea what’s going on.
“That’s nice and all.”
I interrupted Asahina and Nagato. “N
finer points of time travel. We need to fi
get back to the future three years later.”
However, Nagato simply nodded.
“It is possible.”
She then stood and opened the slidin
living room.
“Here.”
It was a Japanese-style room. With
was completely empty except for the ta
from Nagato, but why were we being sh
be a time machine hidden in here? As I w
the closet and spread it on the floor. And
“I’m pretty sure I’ve got the wrong
here?”
Nagato, still carrying a futon, turned
myself reflected in her amethyst eyes.

Page68

eyes. “There is more than one method of
e.
r controlling time. Both unreliable and
es concerning the process of movement

…”
fe forms is conducted with the TPDD,
perfect.”
d, right?
el?”
ansfer of identical data suffices.”
or to the future, huh…”
can do it too. I assume that Nagato’s the
. In fact, after doing some comparing to
spect that Asahina’s the one who really

Now isn’t the time to be discussing the
igure out how Asahina and I are going to

ng door that led to the room next to the

tatami flooring. The fact that the room
atami mats was what you would expect
hown into this guest room? Could there
wondered, Nagato removed a futon from
d then a second one.
g idea… but are you telling us to sleep

d to look at me. I could see Asahina and

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“Yes.”
I glanced next to me to find Asahina
That’s how I’d expect her to react.
But Nagato didn’t seem to care.
“Sleep.”
Don’t be so direct.
“Just sleep and nothing else.”
Well… That was the plan. In any ca
uncertainly. Asahina’s face was bright
choice but to rely on Nagato in this case
what we’ll do. Just hope that it’s as simp
ourselves back in our world.
Nagato reached toward the switch o
Then she muttered something. I was w
when the light disappeared with a click.
It appeared that I had no choice bu
myself.

And the next thing I knew, the light t
clicking sounds as it flickered and stabili
It was still dark outside.

As I sat up, Asahina also woke up, cl
The expression on her lovely, childl
looked at me questioningly, but naturally

Page69

a fidgeting with her face completely red.

ase, Asahina and I looked at each other
red while I just shrugged. We had no
e. If she’s telling us to sleep, then that’s
ple as waking up in the morning to find
on the fluorescent lamp next to the wall.
wondering if she was saying good night
ut to sleep so I pulled the covers over

turned on. The fluorescent lamp made
ized. Huh? Something feels wrong here.
lutching the edge of her blanket.
like face was one of bewilderment. She
y, I had no answers.

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Page70 Go

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Nagato was standing there. She had
before.

It didn’t seem like Nagato’s face. I co
pale face. Like she had something she w
of conflicting interests. It was the slight
be perceived without being accustomed
time. Though I couldn’t be sure that I wa

I heard someone suddenly inhale n
fiddling with the digital watch on her righ

“Huh? No way…! What? Really?”
I glanced at her wristwatch. “Don’t te
“It isn’t. This is just an atomic watch
“One of those watches that synchron
waves, huh?”
Asahina smiled cheerfully as she con
It’s just past nine PM… on July seventh,
Whew.”
She sounded like the world had just b
The Nagato standing at the entrance
differentiate between them by saying on
one would be the latter. The Yuki Nagat
tell after seeing how she was three year
had definitely changed from the Nagato
Haruhi dragged me there. I’m guessing it
“But how?” Asahina asked in a daze.
Nagato responded in a flat voice, “I
space-time and unfroze the data once th
already known space-time continuum.”
Was that even comprehensible? Af
would be now.”
Asahina attempted to stand before fal
“You couldn’t have… Impossible…
Nagato remained silent.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Nagato—stopped time. She probab
were in, for three whole years. And then
“Yes,” Nagato confirmed.

Page71

d her hand on the light switch, just like

ould feel some emotion as I stared at the
wanted to say but was unable to because
test expression of emotion that couldn’t
d to her poker face for a long period of
asn’t just imagining things.
next to me and turned to find Asahina
ht wrist.

ell me that thing’s the TPDD.”
h.”
nizes with the atomic clock through radio

ntinued, “It’s wonderful. We’ve returned.
, the day we departed. I’m so relieved…

been lifted off her shoulders.
e was our Nagato. If you were going to
ne was bespectacled and one wasn’t, this
to who’d softened just a little bit. I could
rs ago. The Nagato before me right now
o I’d met in the literary club room when
t was so slight that she couldn’t tell.
.
froze liquefied data within the selected
here were corresponding points from an

fter a brief pause, she added, “Which

lling to her knees.
How could you… Nagato, you…”

bly stopped time for the whole room we
at this time today, she unfroze us…?”

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“That’s unbelievable. She stopped tim
Asahina sighed as she remained b
something.
It appeared that we had safely retur
seeing Asahina’s reaction, that was certa
Which is fine. The theory behind our
stopping time—I can believe that. I hav
just about anything at this point. That’s f
This wasn’t my first visit to Nagato
little over a month ago. But I stayed in th
entered the guest room. I didn’t even k
uh… What does it mean?
I looked at Nagato. Nagato looked ba
—So basically, when I visited this p
had been sleeping in the next room.
What the hell? Isn’t that what this me
“Yes,” Nagato replied. I felt dizzy.
“… Hey. So in other words, you alre
me? About what happened today?”
“Yes.”
From my perspective, my first meeti
the season of newly green leaves wh
establishing the SOS Brigade. However,
three years ago. As far as I was conce
moment ago, but three years had passed s
Asahina and I stood in a daze togeth
of many things, but I never would ha
Doesn’t that make her invincible?
“Not exactly.”
A motion of denial.
“This was a special case. An except
Unless drastic measures are required.”
And we warranted those drastic meas
“Thanks, Nagato.”
I thanked her. That was all I could do
“Not necessary.”
Nagato nodded without a shred of am

Page72

me… Whoa…”
bent over. That’s when I thought of

rned to our time three years later. After
ain. She’s incapable of hiding anything.
return from three years ago involved
ve developed enough tolerance to accept
fine too. Just fine and dandy—but.
o’s home. I’d been invited inside just a
he living room the whole time and never
know about its existence. Which means,

ack at me.
place to hear her crazy spiel, another me

eans?

eady knew everything back then? About

ing with Nagato had been on that day in
hen Haruhi came up with the idea of
Nagato had met me earlier, on Tanabata
erned, that meeting had occurred just a
since. I’m going to go insane.
her. I’d known that Nagato was capable
ave dreamed that she could stop time.

tion. Emergency mode. Rarely engaged.

sures.

o.

miability. Then she held out the card that

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had various geometric shapes on it. As I
of the paper had deteriorated. As if it had

“By the way, can you read what the w
I didn’t expect anyone to be able to
was merely joking.
“ ‘I am here,’ ” Nagato answered.
I hadn’t expected a reply.
“That’s what it says.”
I was getting confused.
“Don’t tell me that… those pictogr
ended up being the language of some alie
Nagato didn’t respond.

After Asahina and I left Nagato’s room, w
“Asahina, what was the point of me g
Asahina earnestly thought for a mom

faint voice.
“I’m sorry. I, well… The truth is that

bottom of the chain… No, a peon… No,
“Yet you’re close to Haruhi.”
“That’s because I never expected to b
She pouted as she spoke. Your face lo
“I just follow orders from my superio

I don’t know the meaning behind my acti
As I watched Asahina speaking ba

included the adult version of Asahina. I
simply because she and the normal Asah

“I see.” I murmured, tilting my head.
I still don’t get it. The adult version
so she should have known what would h
to the present Asahina. What does that m
“Hmm.”
After some groaning, I decided that
something Asahina didn’t. Like Nagato
travel. Time travelers have their own ru
will explain it to me one day. When this

Page73

I took the card, I noticed that the quality
d been sitting there for three years.
writing on the card says?”
o read Haruhi’s made-up message. So I

raphs or symbols or whatever actually
en race somewhere?”

we walked under the twinkling stars.
going back to the past?”
ment before looking up and speaking in a

t, um… I don’t really know… I’m at the
something like an intern…”

be caught by Suzumiya.”
ooks adorable like that, Asahina.
ors… or I mean, the people at the top. So
ions.”
ashfully, I wondered if those superiors
had no basis for that assumption. It was
hina were the only time travelers I knew.
.
of Asahina had come to give me a hint,
happen to us. But she didn’t tell anything
mean?

there was no way for me to understand
said. There are many processes for time
ules and regulations to follow. Someone
is all over.

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I parted ways with Asahina in front
me over and over as she reluctantly wa
which was when I realized that I’d left m

The next day. Which would be July eig
physically, it’d been three years and a
handed, I went straight to the club room
classroom. I assumed Asahina had come

Haruhi was already in the classro
impressed look on her face. Like she w
arrival of aliens.

“What’s wrong? You’ve been awful
eat a poisonous mushroom or something?

I sat down in my seat. Haruhi sighed
“Not really. Just remembering some
memories for me.”
I felt a chill down my spine. But I w
be.
“Really.”
Haruhi turned back to stare at the cl
playing with fire around a bomb fuse. T
would act.

After school in the literary club room
Brigade’s hideout, Haruhi simply deliv
leaves. We don’t need them anymore,”
lying on the desk looks lonely. Oh, wel
tomorrow and telling us to do impossible

Asahina was nowhere to be seen. T
Nagato and Koizumi, who was playing c
enthusiasm and allowed him to at least
to move.

It would seem that I’d been too q
chessboard because he was bad at Othell

Koizumi was as bad at chess as he wa
As I took Koizumi’s pawn with m

Page74

of the station. Her tiny figure bowed to
alked away. I also began heading home,
my bag in the club room.

ghth. It felt like the next day to me, but
day since I’d gone to school. Empty-
m, grabbed my bag, and headed to my
before me since her bag wasn’t there.
oom staring out the window with an
was ticking off the seconds before the

lly melancholy since yesterday. Did you
?”
in an exaggerated fashion.
ething. The Tanabata season holds some

won’t ask—what those memories might

louds. I shrugged. I have no intention of
That’s how a person with common sense

m that had been turned into the SOS
vered the order, “Clean up the bamboo
and left. The “Brigade Chief” armband
ll. She’ll be back to her usual crazy self
e things. That’s the kind of person she is.
The only other people here were Yuki
chess with me. I’d given in to Koizumi’s
teach me how each piece was supposed

quick to assume that he’d brought the
lo.
as at Othello.
my knight, I glanced at the poker-faced

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Nagato, who was staring at the board wit
“Hey, Nagato. I can’t really tell, bu

right?”
Nagato slowly tilted her head.
“Yes.”
“Still, the whole process of going to

didn’t seem very consistent…”
Yeah. If time has no continuity—if w

then slept until the present time, the “p
different world from the “yesterday” w
given Haruhi unnecessary information
information had brought Haruhi to North
it’s possible that none of this would hav
into the past. Which means that there
future. That would contradict the explan
least figure that out by myself.

“Axiomatic set theory cannot prov
antinomies,” Nagato said flatly.

I suppose you could say that she
standpoint. You may consider that an ad
what you just said.

Nagato exposed her pale throat as she
“You will understand eventually.”
And with that, she returned to her u
Koizumi started to speak in her place.
“It’s like this. My king is currently in
Where should it escape?”
As Koizumi spoke, he lifted his kin
Then he spread his arms like a magician.
“Well, was there anything inconsisten
I stroked a white rook as I considere
along with his stupid Zen philosophy
compliments to satisfy my own vanity. S
In any case—There’s no doubt that
goes for this world.
“Of course, in our case, the king h
queen.”

Page75

th interest.
ut Asahina is actually from the future,

o the past and coming back to the future

we traveled three years into the past and
present” we’re in right now would be a
we departed from. But in the end, I had
n and there was a possibility… that
h High to search for nonhuman life… So
ve happened if I hadn’t gone three years
is continuity between the past and the
nation I’d heard from Asahina. I could at

ve the antinomies within itself without

was showing emotion from a relative
dequate explanation, but I have no idea

e looked up at me.

usual position and began reading again.

n check by your rook. What a quandary.

ng and dropped it into his shirt pocket.
.
nt about my actions?”
ed his words. I had no intention of going
crap or abstract bull for the sake of
So I didn’t respond.
Haruhi is made up of paradoxes. Same

holds little value. What matters is the

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I placed the white rook on the squ
Knight 8.

“I have no idea what’s going to be ha
have to use my head so much,” Koizumi

Nagato didn’t respond and Koizumi m
“I personally believe that some peace
prefer that something happen?”
I snorted as I marked a win under my

Page76

uare where the king had been. Queen’s
appening, but next time, I’d prefer to not
continued.
merely smiled.
e and quiet would be best, but would you
y name on the scorecard.

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MYSTERIQ

As expected, Haruhi had recovered from
doing whatever she wanted by the time
was totally depressed, as though Haruh
melancholy on to me. And I only felt w
The only person who shared my mela
been my buddy during midterms when w
while barely avoiding a lock from the ra
creatures who always want to be around
feel better, relatively. Of course, from an
time to be feeling good about myself.

Haruhi, taking her test in the seat b
with time to spare and could usually
minutes before time was up.

So annoying.
All clubs were on hiatus during term
today would be the day clubs started m
SOS Brigade was in business year round
before that. It appears that school policy
Obviously, since this whole thing has be
enigma of a brigade wasn’t a club per se
for you.
Like the other day. I’d finally gotten
that very moment, Haruhi grabbed me b
room.
“Take a look at this.”
Haruhi was pointing to the compute
club a while back.

Page77

QUE SIGN

m her state of melancholy and returned to
term exams came around. As for me, I
hi had passed the blue-colored baton of
worse every time a test was passed out.
ancholy was Taniguchi, probably. He’d
we flew as close to the ground as possible
adar called a failing grade. Humans are
people dumber than them. It makes you
n absolute standpoint, I didn’t really have

behind mine, somehow always finished
be found sleeping on her desk thirty

m exams, so under normal circumstances,
meeting again, but for some reason, the
d and we’d met up yesterday and the day
doesn’t apply to SOS Brigade activities.
een wrong from the very beginning. This
e, so it didn’t matter. That’s Haruhi logic

myself all psyched up to study, when at
by the sleeve and dragged me to the club

er monitor she’d stolen from that other

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I had no choice but to look. A drawin
scribble displayed. A circle around s
tapeworms. I couldn’t tell if it was a pi
would expect from a kid in preschool.

“What is this?”
I just spoke my mind.
Haruhi immediately puckered her lip
“Can’t you tell?”
“I have no idea. No idea at all. T
Japanese test look easy.”
“What are you talking about? The
Your little sister could have aced that thin
That statement really pissed me off.
“This is the SOS Brigade emblem,” s
her face, as though she’d just accomplish
“Emblem?” I asked.
“Yes. Emblem,” Haruhi said.
“This is? It looks like something left
stuck in a middle management position
nighter after working weekends for two s

Page78

ng program was open with some kind of
some letters that looked like drunken
icture or writing or both. This is what I

ps like a duckbill.
This thing makes yesterday’s Modern
Modern Japanese test was really easy.
ng.”
she answered with a triumphant look on
hed something amazing.
by a drunken businessman, permanently
n, who’s on his way home from an all-
straight months.”

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Page79

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“Look closer. See? It says SOS Briga
When you put it that way, I can’t say
or doesn’t, yet I wouldn’t be confiden
agreement. How many negatives did I
counting, so if someone’s free, tally them
“You’re the one with the most free ti
study.”
“I was fully intent on studying just a
it, it’s true that I don’t feel like bothering
“I’m thinking about putting this on
website.”
Oh, yeah. We had a website. The wor
“We aren’t getting any visitors. That
e-mails about mysterious happenings eith
was going to attract visitors with sexy pic
All pictures of Asahina as an earn
intention of letting anyone else see the
bought with money.
“About the site you made, it’s a lost c
on there. That’s why I came up with t
Brigade.”
Delete that thing off the Internet
accidentally visits such a stupid homep
nothing to update. The whole site co
Brigade’s website” image, a link to our
And the access counter hasn’t even reach
hits came from Haruhi.
I watched as Haruhi opened a browse
“Why don’t you write a journal or
chief to keep a log, right? The captain of
“No way. That sounds like a pain.”
It’d be a pain for me too. If I were to
could only write about stuff like what b
Koizumi at Five in a Row or how cute
should sit down and keep her mouth shut
it’d be fun to read. Which is why I
entertain a single person.

Page80

ade in the center, right?”
y that I don’t get the feeling that it does
nt enough not to refrain from voicing
I just string together? I don’t feel like
m up for me.
ime. You probably won’t even bother to

a moment ago, but now that you mention
g now.”
n the front page of the SOS Brigade’s

rthless thing that only has a front page.
t’s unacceptable. We haven’t gotten any
her. It’s all because you got in my way. I
ctures of Mikuru.”
nest maid belong to me and I have no
em. Some things in this world can’t be

cause. There totally isn’t anything flashy
this idea. To add a symbol of the SOS

already. I feel bad for anybody who
page. There are no contents so there’s
onsists of the “Welcome to the SOS
r e-mail address, and an access counter.
hed three digits, and 90 percent of those

er and loaded our amateur website.
something? It’s the job of the brigade
a ship has to maintain a ship’s log.”

o attempt to describe a day in this place, I
book Nagato was reading or how I beat
e Asahina looked today or how Haruhi
t. It wouldn’t be fun to write and I doubt
refuse to do something that wouldn’t

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“Come on, Kyon. Put this symbol at t
“Do it yourself.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Look it up then. You’re never g
someone else every time you don’t know
“I’m the brigade chief. The brigade c
do everything, you guys won’t have any
in a while. You won’t become a better pe
Are you telling me to do it or not to d
“Just do it already. I won’t be fooled
during the BC era would appreciate that.
I really didn’t want my ears to suff
crow at dawn, so I reluctantly opened th
Haruhi’s illustration, which looked some
adequate size, pasted it onto the file, and
I refreshed the page to make sure
unwarranted SOS Brigade emblem had le
at the access counter told me that we we
that Haruhi’s the only person checking th
know that I was the one who made such a

And with that side note, the first stage o
as a brief break begins tomorrow. This b
A preparatory period for summer vacati
answers wrong.

Damn, this is annoying.
There was no point in feeling depres
club-room-turned-SOS-Brigade-hideout.
peace of mind.
Nagato would be reading in silence. K
shogi problems. Asahina would be wa
Haruhi would be talking and yelling an
recent routine included having to listen to
I guess I shouldn’t say recent when
beginning.
As I knocked on the door today, I

Page81

the top of the page.”

going to learn anything if you turn to
w something.”
chief’s job is to give orders. Besides, if I
y work to do. Try to use your head once
erson if you just do what you’re told.”
do it? Learn how to argue properly.
d by your sophistry. Only bored Greeks

Hurry it up!”
fer any more of Haruhi’s cawing like a
he HTML editor and shrank master artist
ething like a bored kid’s scribbling, to an
uploaded the whole thing.
e it had worked. It appeared that the
eft its footprint on the Internet. A glance
ere still in the double digits. I’m hoping
his website. Since I don’t want people to
a stupid site.

of my melancholy days comes to a close
break is known as a post-exam vacation.
ion during which teachers mark my test

ssed about it, so I headed to the literary-
. At least I can ogle Asahina for some

Koizumi would be grinning as he solved
aiting on everyone in her maid outfit.
nd shouting about who knows what. My
o her bellowing.
n I suspect it’s been like this since the

started to get a sinking feeling. I was

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expecting a “Yes?” in Asahina’s muffled
“Come in!”
The greeting was delivered by Haruh

to find that she was the only one there.
brigade chief’s desk as she fiddled with
computer society.

“Oh. It’s just you.”
“Yuki’s also here.”
Nagato was, in fact, sitting at the cor
a statue as always. She’s like an access
include her. She never committed to joi
officially a member of the literary club. B
“Oh. It’s just you and Nagato.”
“Yeah, you have a complaint about i
I am the brigade chief.”
“If I were to list out my complaints
covering both sides of a sheet of legal-siz
“I’m the one who feels disappointed
that a visitor had come to see us, you kno
I was taking extreme care so I didn’t
changing her clothes in the flesh. That
having a hard time remembering to lock
And what do you mean by a visitor?
Haruhi turned to glare at me.
“Don’t you remember?”
That made me jump. She couldn’
Tanabata three years ago, right?
“You’re the one who did it. Without
“What might you be talking about?”
“The poster you put up on the bulletin
Oh, that. I breathed a sigh of relief.
She was talking about the fake clu
student council to accept the SOS Bri
which ran around looking for mysteriou
indicated to the student council that th
continue as a sort of counseling group fo
called me an idiot and that was the end o

Page82

d voice, but I got something else instead.

hi’s casual voice, and I entered the room
She had her elbows propped up on the
h the computer she’d extorted from the

rner of the table with an open book, like
sory for this room so you don’t have to
ining the SOS Brigade either, and she’s
But I should still correct myself.

it? I’m willing to hear you out. After all,

concerning you, I’d end up completely
zed paper.”
d. Knocking on the door made me think
ow. Don’t confuse me like that.”
t end up accidentally witnessing Asahina
t lovable and careless person has been
the door.
Who’s going to visit this place?

’t be talking about what happened on

obtaining my permission.”

n board in the clubhouse.”

ub policy I’d made up to try to get the
igade. After concluding that a brigade
us phenomena wouldn’t have a chance, I
he SOS Brigade should be allowed to
or all students. The executive committee
of that.

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

But I’d already made a poster. I don’
was probably something along the line
Since I’d already bothered making the th
happened to catch my eye. After all, I a
saw this thing when there weren’t any p
from the SOS Brigade. And it appeared I
client yet, which was a very good thing.

Still, Haruhi had remembered this w
show up? I should probably go take tha
ugly if someone actually showed up with

As I made this decision in the corne
around.

“Anyway, look at this. Something’s o
I glanced past Haruhi’s hair. The S
spitefully on the monitor. But it was sub
crappy emblem Haruhi had drawn was
like in sewing. And the counter and the
refreshing the page but nothing chang
mosaic filter on the whole thing.
“It doesn’t seem to be a problem wi
the server is corrupt.”
I wasn’t that familiar with the Inte
happened to think of checking the versi
loaded just fine in the browser.
“How long has it been like this?”
“Beats me. I’ve only been checking o
been on the website. It was like this whe
complaints?”
There’s no need to complain to any
mouse from Haruhi and overwrote the ho
saved on this computer. Then I reloaded
“Hmm?”
The site was still corrupted. I repeate
result was the same. It appeared tha
malfunction beyond my pay grade.
“Isn’t this strange? Maybe it’s one
about?”

Page83

’t really remember what I put on it, but it
es of “We’ll listen to your problems.”
hing, I stuck it up on a bulletin board that
assumed that it didn’t really matter who
psychopaths who would seek counseling
I was right since we hadn’t seen a single

whole thing and been expecting clients to
at thing down on my way home. It’d get
h some kind of weird problem.
er of my mind, Haruhi moved the mouse

odd. Maybe the computer’s acting up?”
SOS Brigade’s homepage was displayed
btly different from the one I’d made. The

distorted as though it’d been gathered
e title logo were just plain gone. I tried
ged. It was like somebody had used a

ith the computer. Looks like the file on

ernet, but I at least knew that much. I
ion of the website stored locally, which

our e-mail the past few days so I haven’t
en I looked today. Where do I direct my

yone. Just needs a simple fix. I took the
ome-page file on the server with the one
the page.

ed the process a number of times but the
at we were dealing with a technical

of those hackers or crackers I’ve heard

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

“No way,” I said. I really doubt som
site that nobody links to or visits. It must

“Now I’m pissed. Is somebody com
Brigade? Who is it? If I find that person
thirty days of community service.”

I turned away from the raging Haruh
of active camouflage. Maybe she can dea
Nagato being familiar with computers, b
Actually, I should say that I’ve never see

That was when someone knocked on
“Come in!” Haruhi responded and t
had the usual animated smile on his face.
“Oh. Now this is rare. Asahina has ye
“Don’t second-years have extra testin
The last day of finals for us first-yea
gone home already, so why did we have
friends or something? And Haruhi, you’
spiel about knocking on the door?
Koizumi set his bag on the side of th
board from the cabinet and shot me an
Koizumi shrugged and began playing by
I can’t wait for Asahina’s tea.

Knock knock.
Someone was knocking on the door

brigade chief’s desk as I struggled with
me and rattled off orders that were spon
forced to deal with her unreasonable dem

Which was why the knocking on the
“Come in!” Haruhi yelled again a
elimination, it had to be Asahina.
“Ah, sorry about being late.”
The person who apologized hesitantl
the wingless angel, Asahina.
“I had tests until fourth period…” sh
necessary, as she hesitantly stood in the

Page84

meone would be bored enough to crack a
t be some kind of error.
mmitting cyberterrorism against the SOS
n, I’ll skip the trial and sentence him to

hi to look at Nagato with her semblance
al with this. I had this arbitrary image of
but I’d never actually seen her using one.
en her do anything besides read.
the door.
the door opened to reveal Koizumi. He
.
et to show up?”
ng?”
ars ended at third period. We could have
e to meet up in this place? Do I have no
’re not going to give Koizumi the whole

he table as he pulled a Chinese checkers
n inviting glance. I shook my head, so
himself.

r again. I happened to be sitting at the
h an FTP program. Haruhi stood behind
ntaneous and wrong, which meant I was
mands.
door sounded like salvation to my ears.
and the door opened. By process of

ly upon appearance was none other than

he said by way of excuse when it wasn’t
e doorway. For some reason, she didn’t

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

enter the room and just stood there.
“Um, well…”
Everyone turned to look at Asahina.

was looking at her, she took a step bac
resolving to speak.

“W-Well… I brought a visitor.”

The visitor’s name was Emiri Kimidori.
both soft-spoken and well groomed.

At the moment, the visitor was sitti
eyes focused on the tea Asahina had pou
to her. As you would expect, she hadn’t c

“So basically,” Haruhi said, lookin
ballpoint pen. She sat across from the
superior air.

“You want the SOS Brigade to look f
Haruhi balanced the pen on her uppe
suggesting that she was deep in thought,
hold herself back from bursting into laug
Man. I’d been all optimistic that we
were with our first counseling client. Har
“Yes,” Kimidori said to the teacup.
Nagato, Koizumi, and I were watchi
looked at the two second-years.
“Hmm.”
She hummed in an exaggerated fashio
I was really starting to hate myself. I
What’d I even put on it? Something
couldn’t tell anyone else… I think. Still,
seriously. I mean, normally, you wouldn’
Nevertheless, serious or not, Kimido
the SOS Brigade for a group that o
performed odd jobs. I suppose that wou
had written. Oh, now I remember. The
“counseling in regards to school life, c
local volunteer activities.” At the mome

Page85

Once Asahina noticed that even Nagato
ck as though she were flinching before

. A second-year girl who appeared to be

ing with her head down in a chair, her
ured. Asahina was sitting in a chair next
changed into her maid outfit. A pity.
ng like an interviewer as she twirled a
e two second-years and spoke with a

for your missing boyfriend, right?”
er lip as she crossed her arms. A gesture
but I knew better. She was just trying to
ghter.
e’d never get any visitors, yet here we
ruhi probably wanted to jump with joy.

ing from the corner of the room. Haruhi

on as she exchanged a look with me.
I shouldn’t have made that stupid poster.
about helping with the problems you
I didn’t think any students would take it
’t, right?
ori had seen the poster and had mistaken
offered counseling for all students or
uld be the literal interpretation of what I
e club activities I’d made up had been
consulting services, and participation in
ent, the SOS Brigade had nothing to do

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

with any of those activities. We hadn’
baseball tournament.

Page86

’t done anything beyond messing up a

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

Page87Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

Still, the stuff written on that poster
her to our existence, leading her to ap
school year and brought her to this place.

As for her problem…
“He hasn’t come to school for many d
Kimidori stared at the rim of the
anybody’s eyes.
“He is rarely absent, yet he even m
wrong.”
“Did you try calling him?” Haruhi a
ballpoint pen, maybe to prevent herself fr
“Yes. He doesn’t answer his cell or h
the door was locked. Nobody answered t
“Uh-huh.”
There’s no denying that anybody w
others is a jerk, but Haruhi had such a s
was expecting her to burst into song an
Q.E.D.
“What about your boyfriend’s family
“He lives by himself.” Kimidori sp
nature to talk to people without lookin
parents live overseas. I don’t have their c
“Heh. Would they happen to be in Ca
“No. I believe it was Honduras.”
“Aha. Honduras, huh? I see.”
What do you see? I doubt you e
somewhere below Mexico?
“There wasn’t any sign that he’d be
when I visited at night. I’m so worried,”
covered her face with her hands. Haruhi
“Hmm. I can understand how you fee
Like hell you can. You couldn’t poss
in love.
“In any case, I’m surprised you came
me your motive.”
“Yes. He often mentioned you. That’
“Huh? Who’s your boyfriend?”

Page88

r had caught Kimidori’s eye and alerted
pproach Asahina, who was in the same
. I suppose that’s how it went.

days now.”
teacup as she spoke, refusing to meet

missed a test day. Something must be

asked. She was biting on the end of the
rom cracking a smile.
his home phone. I went to his home, but
the door.”

who finds pleasure in the misfortune of
strong aura of happiness about her that I
ny second. In other words, she’s a jerk.

y?”
poke to her cup. Apparently, it was her
ng them in the eyes. “I heard that his
contact information.”
anada?” Haruhi said.

even know where it is. Uh… Was it

een in the room. It was completely dark
” Kimidori said in a forced voice as she
pursed her lips.
el.”
sibly understand how it feels to be a girl

e to see the SOS Brigade. Start by telling

’s how I knew about you.”

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

Kimidori murmured the name of a
question. I felt like I’d heard it before, b
Haruhi’s brow creased.

“Who is that?”
Kimidori spoke in a voice like a soft
“He mentioned being neighbors with
“Neighbors?”
Haruhi looked up at the ceiling. Kim
with our heads tilted before moving on
met our eyes and she then returned to sta
“He serves as the president of the com
And there you have it.

I had completely forgotten about that. Th
been photographed sexually harassing A
used that as leverage to acquire a top-of-t
insult to injury, the pitiful upperclass
society’s president had even been force
Wait, there’s no need to feel sorry for h
makes up for pretty much anything. T
camera we used was still sitting around s

“Yep, I got it!” Haruhi accepted rea
luck, Kimidori. As our first client, you g
a bonus.”

It won’t be considered a school serv
actually a problem for us to solve? Isn
turned into a hikikomori—a shut-in? I h
got a girlfriend like Kimidori, but I’m
eventually if you just leave him alone.

Of course, I didn’t say any of that ou
her boyfriend’s address before leaving th

Asahina had gone out into the hallw
return before opening my mouth.

“Hey, are you sure about accepting h
solve her problem?”

Haruhi twirled the ballpoint pen arou

Page89

a male student in response to Haruhi’s
but I didn’t know anybody by that name.

breeze.
h the SOS Brigade.”

midori turned, looking at Asahina and me
to Koizumi and Nagato. But she never
aring at the teacup. Then she spoke.
mputer society.”

hat poor president, huh? The one who’d
Asahina (against his will) and Haruhi had

the-line computer (by force). And to add
sman who was the computer research
ed to hook everything up while in tears.
him. If he has such a nice girlfriend, that
That’s right. I wonder if the disposable
somewhere.
adily. “We’ll take care of it. You’re in
get your problem solved free of charge as

vice if you charge money. Still, is there
n’t it possible that the president merely
have no idea what his beef is when he’s
m pretty sure he’ll recover by himself

ut loud. Kimidori left a slip of paper with
he club room like a corporeal ghost.
way to see her off so I waited for her to

her request so readily? What if we can’t

und in good humor.

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

“We can do it. He’s probably just co
May sickness. We just have to march i
times, and drag him back here. Piece of c

It appeared that she actually believe
same way, more or less.

I asked Asahina, who was pouring us
“Are you friends with Kimidori?”
“No, I’ve never talked with her befo
seen her during joint classes.”
She could have gone to a teacher or t
maybe she already talked to them. An
Asahina. That’s probably how it went.
There was no sense of urgency as w
in unreasonably high spirits as she pla
resolving them. Just stop.
Nagato closed her book with a thud
called an investigation.

The president lived in a studio apartmen
most of the residents were college stu
great but it wasn’t shabby either, and th
brand-new but it wasn’t old either. An e
Commonplace.

Holding the slip of paper with the a
stairs. The rest of us silently followed the

“This is the place.”
Haruhi checked the nameplate next
had given as her boyfriend’s was inserted
“I wonder if there’s a way to open it.”
Haruhi rattled the doorknob a few t
intercom. It should be the other way arou
“Why don’t we circle around to the b
in if we smash the window, right?”
I’m praying that she’s joking. This ro
bunch of juvenile delinquent thieves. I do
“Guess so. Let’s go ask the landlor

Page90

ooped up with a two-month-late case of
into his room, smack him around a few
cake.”
ed what she was saying. Well, I felt the

s more tea.

ore. She’s in the class next door so I’ve

the police instead of coming to us. Well,
nd they ignored her so she approached

we sipped our tea. Haruhi appeared to be
anned on accepting bigger requests and

d and we proceeded with what Haruhi

nt. Based on its location, I’d assume that
udents. The three-story building wasn’t
he paint looked good enough—it wasn’t
extremely ordinary place in appearance.

address in her hand, Haruhi went up the
e summer uniform–clad figure.

to the metal door. The name Kimidori
d in the plastic casing.
”
times before pressing the button on the
und.
balcony in the back? We’ll be able to get

oom is on the third floor and we aren’t a
on’t want a criminal record yet.
rd to lend us a key. If we tell him that

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

we’re worried about our friend, he should
Since you’re good at pretending to

himself yet he never gave his girlfriend a
of an eggplant and throwing away the fru

Click.
Upon hearing a cold sound, I turne
doorknob.
“…”
Nagato stared at me with eyes like l
door and opened the entrance to the ro
inside created this chilling and lurking so
“Oh.”
Haruhi’s eyes were wide as saucers a
“It was open? I didn’t realize that. W
He’s probably hiding under the bed o
capture him. If he resists, you have my
head in beeswax and present it to the clie
Apparently, she didn’t feel a sing
computer. And we aren’t dealing with Sa
a severed head?
She cheerfully pushed us all inside
even a single cockroach. Haruhi checked
but there was nothing resembling a hum
fourth the size of the living room in Naga
evidence of life. There was a bookshelf
small coffee table, and a computer rac
window to check the balcony but there w
there.
“That’s odd.”
Haruhi tilted her head as she bounced
“I expected him to be curled up in a
Did he go to the convenience store? K
hikikomori might go?”
So it’s settled that the computer soc
he’s on a vacation in Central or South A
his whereabouts? We should have asked
here.

Page91

d lend it to us.”
be a friend. Still, the president lives by
a spare key. That’s like keeping the stem
uit.

ed to find Nagato silently gripping the

liquid helium. She slowly pulled on the
oom. For some reason, the stagnant air
ort of feeling.

and her mouth was open in a half-circle.
Well, whatever. Come on. Let’s go inside.
or something. We’ll drag him out and
y permission to kill him. We’ll soak his

ent.”
gle atom of guilt about stealing the
alome here. What’s she going to do with

to find that the room was empty. Not
d the bathroom and looked under the bed
man being anywhere. The place was one
ato’s place but it had four times as much
f, a closet, something that looked like a
ck all arranged neatly. We opened the
was only a washing machine hidden back

d on the bed.
a ball in some corner hugging his knees.
Kyon, do you know any other places a

ciety president is a hikikomori? Maybe
America? Or is he actually trying to hide
d his homeroom teacher before coming

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