The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya

I had glanced at the computer-relat
unexpectedly tugged on my shirt from be

“…”
Nagato expressionlessly looked up
What’s that supposed to mean?
“It would be best if we left,” Nagato
had heard her speak today. Haruhi an
moved his face next to my ear.
“I concur.”
Don’t use a serious tone, Koizumi.
merely flashed a forced smile while his e
“This room feels oddly discomfortin
with. Though it may only feel similar and
Haruhi opened the fridge without per
cream treat, warabimochi! It expired ye
waste,” as she tore the bag open. Asahina
convenience store pastry for her to taste t
I also found myself speaking in a hus
“Similar to what?”
“Closed space. This room has the sa
using the word ‘scent’ in a figurative
sensation transcending the five senses.”
I stopped myself as I was about to r
being an esper or something. This guy
about it.
Nagato murmured in a soft voice th
rift exists. Phase shift is transpiring.”
Like that tells me anything.
Least, that’s what I want to say. But
Nagato suddenly looked at me with a s
mouth shut. Good grief.
In any case, it appears that we shoul
Koizumi and Nagato before turning to H

Once everybody had left the apartmen
hungry, so we were dismissed for the

Page92

ted books on the shelf when someone
ehind.

at me and shook her chin to the side.

o softly whispered. It was the first time I
nd Asahina didn’t notice, but Koizumi

You’re freaking me out. But Koizumi
eyes were somber.
ng. Similar to a sensation I am familiar
d be different fundamentally…”
rmission, and said, “Found a yummy ice
esterday. Let’s eat it so it doesn’t go to
a was all flustered as Haruhi held out the
test.
shed voice.

ame scent as that place. No, I’m merely
sense. You could say it’s a feeling, a

reflexively deliver a biting remark about
actually is an esper. Now that I think

hat barely shook the air, “A dimensional

t my legs would probably turn to jelly if
sad face, so I’m better off keeping my

ld get out of here pronto. I motioned to
Haruhi, who was devouring her treat.

nt building, Haruhi said that she was
day and she left by herself. The case

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Kimidori had brought to us was
irresponsibly, “It’ll work itself out even
and everything was on hold for the day.

I guess she’s already lost interest.
Haruhi wasn’t the only one who hadn
go home as everyone went their separ
waiting in an irritated mood, I return
apartment building.
The other three brigade members ha
for me. The logic-loving alien and the
they knew what was going on, unlike As
“Um… What’s the matter? Why d
Suzumiya noticing…”
She glanced up at me. She seemed
Koizumi. I’ll just assume that I was the o
“Those two are concerned about th
“Right?”
Smiley and Poker Face nodded at the
“We should know for sure once we g
Nagato walked off without a word. T
up the stairs without making a sound
residence without making a sound, and
sound before proceeding to the center of
The studio apartment wasn’t particul
a line took up the whole room.
“Within this room…”
Nagato began to speak.
“… an amalgamated alternate space
occurring independently in a restrictive m
…
I waited for a bit, but that was th
supposed to do when you sound like you
dictionary?
“The sensation I’m experiencing is s
originates from Suzumiya, but the form
said as a follow-up to Nagato’s explanati
The two of you make a good combi

Page93

temporarily shelved as Haruhi said
ntually,” so all thinking ground to a halt

n’t had lunch yet, but I only pretended to
rate ways. After spending ten minutes
ned to the entrance of the president’s

ad already assembled and were waiting
damn knowledgeable esper looked like
sahina.
did you tell us to reassemble without

uneasy when she looked at Nagato and
one she’d been waiting for.
he room we were just in,” I answered.

e same time.
go back there. Right, Nagato?”
The rest of us followed. Nagato walked
d, opened the door to the president’s
d removed her shoes without making a
the room.
larly big since the four of us standing in

e-time with noncorrosive tendencies is
mode.”

he end of her explanation. What am I
u just randomly picked out words from a

similar to that of closed space. The latter
mer gives off a different scent,” Koizumi

ion.
ination. You should get together. Teach

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Nagato some hobbies besides reading.
“We can deliberate on this matter lat

to take care of at the moment. Nagato, th
this abnormal space, correct?”

“Yes.”
Nagato raised one hand in a gesture
before her.
A bad feeling raced up my spine an
have told her to wait. But before I had a c
already murmuring something around th
speed. And in a flash, the scene before m
“Huh?!”
Asahina jumped over and wrapped h
time to enjoy the sensation against my a
current location.
Uh, I was in the president’s crampe
like this. Not a place so wide and flat tha
ocher brown mist hovering in the air. Wh
“Entry code analyzed. This place ove
slipped off,” Nagato explained.
Well, she’s the only one capable of
who can hold any semblance of a conver
“It doesn’t appear to be Suzumiya’s c
“It is deceptively similar. However, a
traces of junk data originating from Haru
“How significant are these traces?”
“Of an inconsequent level. She was m
“I see. So that’s how it is.”
Asahina and I aren’t part of this conv
I’m pretty grateful. Though I’d be more g
world.
Asahina clung to me as she fearfully
appeared that she hadn’t anticipated th
glancing in every direction. I could breat
okay to breathe in this ocher mistlike stu
through my socks. Not sure if this would
ocher surface continued infinitely. Didn

Page94

ter. We have something more important
he president’s disappearance is a result of

that looked like she was stroking the air

nd tickled my brain. I probably should
chance to utter that syllable, Nagato was
hat sounded like a tape playing at 20 ×
me changed.

herself around my left arm. But I had no
arm. I was too busy trying to verify my

ed studio apartment. Not an eerie place
at you can’t even see the horizon with an
ho brought me to this place?
erlaps normal space. A phase has merely

this stuff. And Koizumi’s the only one
rsation with Nagato.
closed space.”
a sector of the data in this space contains
uhi Suzumiya.”

merely the trigger.”

versation. Not that it bothers me. In fact,
grateful if they could take us back to our

y looked around at our surroundings. It
his space. I hadn’t either, as I was also
the fine, though I had to wonder if it was
uff. I could feel the warmth of the floor
d be considered floor or ground, but the
n’t expect a standard-sized room to have

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this much storage space. An alternate d
something like that to show up soon.
myself.

“Is the computer society president he
“It would seem so. I would presume
room and trapped him within.”
“Where is he? I don’t see any sign of
Koizumi merely smiled as he turned
of sign since Nagato raised her hand agai
“Wait!”
I wasn’t too late this time. I direc
obediently frozen in place.
“Could you tell me what you’re go
prepare myself.”
“Nothing.”
Nagato responded as if she were a tal
hand up around seventy-five degrees an
she opened her mouth again.
“It has come.”
I looked in the direction Nagato was
“Hmm.”
I had to groan in spite of myself.
The ocher mist was slowly swirlin
gathering each and every particle com
starting to feel like a pathogen that had
getting this image of the ocher whirlpool
cell. My only comfort was the warmth of
“I can sense a clear intent of animos
hint of urgency.
Nagato was standing still with her arm
That didn’t mean it was okay for me to
defend themselves, but I don’t. Asahin
hiding behind me.
“This is when you’re supposed to b
you have like a ray gun or something?”
“Carrying weapons is prohibited. It
trembling voice.

Page95

dimension, huh? Well, I was expecting
I’m awfully composed, if I do say so

ere?”
that this alternate space appeared in his

f him.”
d to Nagato. I guess that was some kind
in.

cted my attention to Nagato, who had

oing to do first? I’d like a moment to

lking piece of glasswork as she tilted her
nd extended her index finger. And then

pointing.

ng into what looked like a whirlpool
mposing the mist into one spot. I was
d invaded someone’s body, since I was
l carrying out its duty like a white blood
f Asahina’s hands.
sity,” Koizumi said calmly, without any

m extended like a broken-down android.
o relax. They might have the means to
na doesn’t either, which is why she’s

bring out some futuristic gadget. Don’t

t’s dangerous,” Asahina answered in a

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I can understand that. Even if you
Asahina, she would still be useless and
train. I began wondering if she might im
thought, “that” Asahina was also fairly c
by nature.

While I was thinking, the mist was
object. There must have been some so
particularly interested in knowing it, but
shape the mass of ocher was forming.

“Eek.”
Asahina was the only one scared. I’l
and you normally wouldn’t come across
had been many years ago under the fl
country.
Are you aware of an insect known as
If you aren’t, I’d like to show you w
every small detail about it.
After all, this cave cricket looks like
“What is this?” I asked.
“A cave cricket, I presume,” replied K
“That much I know. I used to be k
preschool. I’ve never seen a real one b
between a Hexacentrus japonicus and a
What is this?”
Nagato spoke softly. “The creator of
“This thing?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t tell me this is Haruhi’s doing
“The cause lies elsewhere. But it beg
I was about to ask her what she m
obediently frozen in the same position.
…“You can move now.”
“Yes.”
Nagato then lowered her arm and s
materialized. The burnt brown sand trea
away from us.
“Oh? While imperfect, my power app

Page96

u put a weapon in the hands of “this”
d prone to accidentally leaving it on the
mprove as she got older, but on second
careless. Maybe she’s just a scatterbrain

s gradually taking the form of a solid
ort of reason for this. Not that I was
t for some reason, I could recognize the

ll admit that it had a creepy appearance
s one in town. The last time I’d seen one
loor at my grandmother’s house in the

s the cave cricket?
what I’m seeing right now. You’ll learn

it’s three meters long.

Koizumi.
known as a bug expert when I was in
before, but I know how to differentiate
Mecopoda nipponensis. But forget that.

this space.”

again?”
gan with her.”
meant when I noticed that she was still

stared at the giant cave cricket that had
ader was standing in a spot a few meters

pears to be effective here.”

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Koizumi held a ball of red light the
ball I’d never wanted to see again after
from his palm.

“My strength is one tenth of what it
transform myself.”

For some unknown reason, Koizum
smile I was sick of seeing.

“Perhaps it was judged that this woul
“…”
Nagato didn’t react. I repeated my qu
“Anyway, Nagato. What’s the tru
president?”
“It is a subspecies of data life form
student to heighten the probability of its e
Koizumi tapped his finger against hi
but it also seemed like he was focusing h
up.

Page97

size of a handball in one hand. That red
the first time. It appeared to have come
t is in closed space. And I am unable to
mi turned to Nagato with that cheerful
ld be sufficient?”
uestion.
ue identity of that bug? Where’s the
ms. It is using the brain tissue of a male
existence.”
is brow. It seemed like he was thinking,
his thoughts. Koizumi eventually looked

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Page9G8oldenagato | mp4directs.com

“Perhaps the president is inside that g
“Precisely.”
“The cave cricket is… I see. The pres
correct? Defeating it should cause this al
“You are not.”
“I appreciate the metaphor that’s ea
quite simple.”
“No, it’s not easily understood. No,
that Asahina and I know what’s going on
“We don’t have time for that right no
“Don’t emphasize the last syllable
Throw that red ball somewhere else. And
herself around my waist. I’m about to los
“Eek…”
The trembling Asahina had taken aw
won’t be able to escape
“That won’t be necessary. It won’t t
appears to be much easier than hunting C
The cave cricket had finished ma
whether it would suddenly jump toward
jump. I kind of want to measure… No, n
I was blunt.
“Get it over with.”
“Roger that.”
Koizumi launched the red ball an
volleyball. The red handball flew off wit
the front of the cave cricket and made a
pretty stupid method of attacking, but ou
too. I was expecting some form of count
jump, or make any weird roaring sounds.
“Is it over?”
Nagato nodded in response to Koizum
The giant cave cricket began diffus
started to fade. The ocher mist trembli
Along with the chilling sensation under m
A male in a familiar uniform appeare
The president of the computer society c

Page99

giant cave cricket?”

sident’s visualization of a source of fear,
lternate space to collapse. Am I wrong?”

asily understood. That should make this

this isn’t simple. Explain everything so
n.”
ow, though.”
like that. Stop smiling all gentle-like.
d do something about Asahina wrapping
se it.”

way my ability to move. At this rate, I

take long. I just know it somehow. This
Celestials.”
aterializing and I was worrying about
d us. I wonder how many meters it can
not really.

nd whacked it like he was serving a
th impeccable accuracy as it crashed into
a sound like a paper balloon popping. A
ur opponent appeared to be pretty stupid
terattack, but the cave cricket didn’t run,
. It just sat there in silence.

mi’s question. That didn’t take long.
sing into its original state of mist and
ing around us also began to disappear.
my feet.
ed as a form of compensation, I suppose.
collapsed faceup. He looked like he had

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fallen out of the chair in front of the com
closed. It appeared that he was alive. K
placed one hand against the president’s n

We were back in the room in the stud
that huge space came from.

In any case, I’m feeling quite relieve
wide-open spaces, whether they’re gray o

“Approximately two hundred eighty mill
Nagato began her explanation of rand

break it down and condense it, would tur
It was either during the Permian or T

and at the time, there was nothing on Ea
means to exist on Earth, it went into hib
Until an appropriate data network had be

It lacked the means to exist on Earth
into a state of sleep.

Eventually, humans were born on Ea
networks. Such immature (according to
though imperfect, could be utilized
insufficient, so that thing remained in a
incident which incited its awakening. W
thing was a detonator floating across the
measured by ordinary numbers. Data tha
another world. This was the shelter that t

Nagato abruptly stopped talking.
Nagato had been using the president’
the SOS Brigade website and displayed t
“The trigger was the invocation sign
“So this SOS Brigade emblem turne
just now?”
“Yes.” Nagato nodded. “By terrestri
holds the equivalent of approximately 43
That’s impossible. That image isn’t e
But Nagato continued, “It does not
Earth.”

Page100

mputer rack as he lay there with his eyes
Koizumi leaned down next to him and
neck before nodding to me.
dio apartment. Makes you wonder where

ed. I’ve had enough of being trapped in
or ocher.

lion years ago.”
dom cosmic nonsense, which if I were to
rn into something like the following:
Triassic period when “it” landed on earth,
arth capable of housing “it.” Lacking the
bernation to allow for self-preservation.
een born on the planet for it to use.
h. Thus, it froze all activities and settled

arth and those humans created computer
o Nagato) digital information networks,
as nurseries. However, those were
a half-awakened state. But there was an
What served as an alarm clock for that
Internet. It held more data than could be
at does not exist in this world. Data from
thing had been waiting for…

’s computer as she talked and brought up
the corrupted SOS Brigade emblem.
drawn by Suzumiya. It became a gate.”
ed into a summoning circle or whatever

ial standards, this SOS Brigade emblem
36 terabytes of data.”
even 10 kilobytes big.
t correspond to denominations used on

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“What are the odds? A symbol she d
perfectly. She truly is Suzumiya. She can

Koizumi was seriously impressed. A
what?

Haruhi does most things on a whi
formed and that’s how members were a
mascot character. Koizumi was chose
Nagato had been there to begin with. A
Koizumi was an esper, and Nagato was
Koizumi had said that it wasn’t coincid
about stuff happening because Haruhi s
him, but I couldn’t let that happen. Aft
That should be enough to prove otherwi
to have some kind of secret identity th
seem…

What if there had actually been a pur
A purpose she was unaware of. Like
characters and create a message to som
away at a keyboard and producing a leg
that happening?

A girl who can easily break throu
unconsciously reach the correct answer.
as Haruhi Suzumiya. I could accept her
errands for her. Yeah, that’s right. It bea
of mysterious background. So, do I have
origin?

Is that why she chose me? Don’t tell
know about.

The next issue is what I’m truly frigh
Who am I?

I shrugged in an imitation of Koizumi. H
the one who’s most aware of what my o
Brigade’s conscience. That has to be it. D
three brigade members. I’m in the SOS B
time in high school in a normal fashion

Page101

drew by chance happened to correspond
n even beat astronomical odds.”
And I was seriously scared. Scared of

im. That’s how the SOS Brigade was
assembled. Asahina was picked up as a
en because he was a transfer student.
And then, Asahina was a time traveler,
a pseudo-alien. Too convenient. In fact,
dence when he gave me that nonsense
so desired. I’d almost started to believe
ter all, I am an utterly ordinary person.
ise. Koizumi’s theory would require me
hat involved hocus-pocus. So it would

rpose behind Haruhi’s pointless actions?
how she could randomly write down
me aliens out there. Like a cat tapping
gible sentence. What are the chances of

ugh the barrier called probability and
That would be the troublemaker known
making me join the SOS Brigade to run
ats the hell out of me having some kind
e some kind of crazy unknown power or

l me that I actually have a secret I don’t

htened about.

He’s the one who says, “Good grief.” I’m
own role is. In short, I serve as the SOS
Deep down, I’m different from the other
Brigade to persuade Haruhi to spend her
n. It’s my duty to make her give up and

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disband this illegal club. Now that I thin
to a peaceful world. No, it’s the only path

It’s a lot easier to change Haruhi’s
world into the kind of place Haruhi wan
else.

Of course, the SOS Brigade may nev
some bizarre inspiration. Well, you kno
case-by-case basis. I’ll work this out som
it’ll take or why I’m the one that has to d

Let’s just move on.
“So what was that cave cricket anywa
I figured that I needed to get that que
end. Nagato answered in a tone that was
“A data life form.”
“A relative of your patron?”
“Their origin was similar. Howev
evolutionary path and became extinct.”
Except there ended up being a surviv
of all places. It could have gone to sleep
To think that the development of t
ground for pseudo-evil gods. That’s whe
petite upperclassman who was collapsed
“Asahina, how advanced are the com
“Huh…”
Asahina opened her mouth before
expecting an answer since it was p
responded.
“Such a primitive form of data netwo
said as she ruined the mood and pointed
“It is simple to create a system that d
organisms such as terrestrial humans.”
Nagato turned to the side to look at A
“Really?”
“That’s… um…”
Asahina mumbled as she hung her he
“I can’t say…” she said in a quiveri
confirm or deny that. I’m sorry.”

Page102

nk about it, this would be the fastest path
h.
s concept of the world than to turn the
nts. Plus, it doesn’t impose on anybody

ver have existed if I hadn’t given Haruhi
ow, we should judge these things on a
mehow. Though I don’t know how long
do this.

ay?”
estion answered before this ordeal would
like exhaling carbon dioxide.

ver, they branched down a different

vor. It didn’t have to hibernate on Earth
somewhere around Neptune.
the Internet would become a breeding
en I thought of something. I turned to the
on the floor.
mputers in the future?”

shutting it again. I hadn’t really been
probably classified, but someone else

ork should no longer be in use,” Nagato
to the computer.
does not rely on storage media, even for

Asahina, who visibly paled.

ead.
ing voice. “I don’t have the authority to

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It’s totally fine. There’s no need
interested in finding out—hey, Koizumi.
look on your face?

I attempted to change the subject to s
about again? That’s right.

“There’s still something odd.”
I waited for everybody to turn their a
“I was with Haruhi when she was v
happened. Besides, shouldn’t that thin
finished her drawing?”
Koizumi gave the response.
“That club room had been transfor
variety of elements and force fields battl
room relatively normal. You could say t
already filled to capacity with various
assimilation.”
What kind of logic is that? And whe
den of evil? I never noticed.
“Ordinary people aren’t equipped
Yes, it’s safe to assume it to be harmless.
Good grief. I wouldn’t mind the temp
during summer, but if it gets to the poin
rope, I’m out.
“You shouldn’t have to worry about t
hard to prevent that.”
“Are you sure this isn’t the result of y
Koizumi smiled and said, “Who know
arms with his palms facing upward.
I turned back to the computer scre
Brigade symbol, I noticed something. I s
“Bah.”
The access counter was showing. Fo
part of the website as it displayed the
hadn’t even been three figures the las
counter for the SOS Brigade website wa
it was almost up to three thousand. Who’
“Hyperlinks have been placed in v

Page103

to apologize, seriously. I wasn’t that
. How dare you have such a disappointed

save Asahina. Uh, what was there to talk

attention to me.
viewing the stupid picture, and nothing
ng have shown up the second Haruhi

rmed into alternate space long ago. A
led and negated one another, leaving the
that it’s in a saturated state. The room is
things so there is no room for further

en had the club room been turned into a

with unnecessary sensory capabilities.
. Most likely.”
perature of the room being lowered a bit
nt where I start searching for a hanging

that. Nagato, Asahina, and I are working

your hard work?”
ws?” as he tilted his head and spread his

een. As I stared at the corrupted SOS
scrolled down to the bottom of the page.

or some reason, it was the only normal
number of visitors. The access counter
st time I checked. At the moment, the
as at ten, a hundred, a thousand… Whoa,
’s looking at this thing?
various places,” Nagato said in a quiet

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voice.
“That is how this data life form mult

into the brains of the humans who see
restricted space. A large number of peopl

“Which means everybody who saw
people are in the same predicament as the

“Not exactly. The data for the summ
people browsed the correct data source.”

Probably a server error. Either way, t
“So how many idiots out there click
thing?”
“Eight. Five are students at North Hig
Then those eight people are also trap
controlled by a metaphor that might not n
help—or yeah, we have to go save them
addresses (It doesn’t surprise me that
Asahina appeared to intend to go along w
Most of the blame goes to Haruhi, but I
like thing on the Internet, so I should help
So I can sleep soundly at night.
The victims at North High wouldn’t
have to ride the train to save the other thr

Anyway.
The post-exam break was over with.

room and wait for summer vacation.
I told Haruhi that the president had co
“Hmph. I see.”
And with that, she zipped out of the

herself in the cafeteria by now. Koizumi
By the way, Nagato had redone Haru

on the page. I managed to safely upload
people concentrate when they look at
slight, but if you paid attention, you’d f
now. That tiny change was apparentl
showing up or not.

Page104

tiplies. Very immature. Its data is copied
e the signs, leading to the creation of
le are required.”
w this… Almost three thousand other
e president was?”
moning emblem is damaged. Only a few
”
that’s a big help.
ked the suspicious link and saw the real

gh.”
pped in that ocher space-time. That space
necessarily be a cave cricket. We should
m. Koizumi was asking Nagato for their
t Nagato knows this information) and
with them. That means I have to go too.
I was the one who put this magic circle-
p clean up the mess.

be a problem, but it appeared that we’d
ree people.

. All that remained was to sit in the club

ome back to school.

e classroom. She was probably stuffing
and Asahina hadn’t shown up yet.
uhi’s SOS Brigade symbol and I stuck it
d it this time. I wonder why? I hope that
this thing. The difference was ever so
find that the drawing said ZOZ Brigade
ly the difference between weird stuff

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I’d be inclined to say that the mora
click on links you don’t recognize.” Wha

As I considered the matter, I looked
the table reading a numbered set of techn

As I watched Nagato’s face, I sudde
when she noticed Haruhi’s summoning p
who destroyed the data?

And there was the person who broug
I had just visited the computer societ
president didn’t have a girlfriend. By
perfectly fine besides the fact that he di
days. It didn’t seem like he was lying
mentioned Kimidori’s name. The preside

I became suspicious.
Had Kimidori really come here to req
perfect. Haruhi scribbled her drawing an
people saw it and were taken by tha
dimension. That was when Kimidori ca
went to the president’s home. And then w
A perfectly scripted scenario and N
wouldn’t be surprised if the omnipoten
manipulate Kimidori into bringing us this
She may have come up with the ide
Haruhi’s boredom. If that were the cas
herself without getting us involved. Is t
prevents weird stuff from happening wit
shadows.
A breeze came in through the wind
pages of her book. Her pale fingers grip
face was perfectly still as her eyes follow
Or perhaps, Nagato brought us in b
organic android living for years in a total
feel no emotion on the outside, perhaps s
Perhaps she still felt lonely when she

Page105

al of this whole spiel would be, “Don’t
at do you think?
at Nagato, who was sitting at the end of
nical books.
enly thought of something. I don’t know
picture, but maybe she had been the one

ght this matter to our attention, Kimidori.
ty’s club room and been told that the
y the president himself, who appeared
idn’t have any memory of the past few
as he gave me a clueless look when I
ent isn’t that good of an actor.

quest our help? The timing had been too
nd I put it on the website. A number of
at data life form thing to an alternate
ame to us and told us her story and we
we exterminated it.
Nagato was always at the center of it. I
nt alien terminal had gone so far as to
s case.
ea of a fake client to ease away some of
se, Nagato could have dealt with it by
that what usually happens? She secretly
thout saying a word, in silence, from the

dow and ruffled Nagato’s hair and the
pped the edges of the book and her pale
wed the text.
because she wanted to? An alien-made
lly empty room. Though she appeared to
she could.
e was all by herself.

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Page10G6 oldenagato | mp4directs.com

REMOTE ISLAN

I was so dumbfounded I forgot about the
At the moment, I was lying on my b

being astonished by the sight before my
an excess amount of weight on my back
my concern at the moment. Koizumi,
breaking down the door, was also stunn
Get off me already—but my mind wasn
That’s how shocked I was.

That which could never possibly h
happened. This could no longer be laugh
to do?

There was a flash outside the window
thunder reached my stomach. Just lik
covering the entire island.

“It can’t be,” someone murmured.
It was Arakawa, who had been slamm
me and fallen to the floor when it opened
Koizumi finally got off me so I rolled
And then I took another look at the u
On the carpet near the door lay a ma
moment ago. A resident of this manor
room this morning and also happened to
immediately identify him because he’d
he’d left us in the living room last nigh
one wearing a formal suit in this hot w
need for it. He was also the employer o
moment ago, and the owner of this island

Page107

ND SYNDROME

e pain in my shoulder.
belly, unable to stand as I couldn’t help
y eyes. I was unable to move because of
k that refused to budge. But that wasn’t
, draped over me in the aftermath of
ned by the scene in the room before us.
n’t clear enough to channel that thought.

happen had happened. It had actually
hed off as a joke. What are we supposed

w. A few seconds later, the rumbling of
ke yesterday, a full-blown storm was

ming against the door with Koizumi and
d.
d over and sat up.
unbelievable sight before my eyes.
an sprawled on the floor the way I was a
who hadn’t come down to the dining
o be our host, a man in his prime. I could
d been wearing the same clothes when
ht and headed upstairs. He was the only
weather on an island when there was no
of Arakawa, who had been murmuring a
d and manor…

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Mr. Keiichi Tamaru.
Keiichi was lying on the floor with
wasn’t moving a single muscle. Of cour
was already dead.
How did I know? It was obvious. Th
familiar. It was the handle of the fruit
bountiful fruit basket we had been served
I’m willing to bet that you’d find a
handle. Or else, it wouldn’t be sticking
who had his eyes and mouth wide open.
Keiichi’s chest.
I’m pretty sure that most people wou
heart.
And that would describe Keiichi’s cu
“Eek…”
I heard a soft shriek of terror from th
around. Asahina stood with her hands o
but Nagato was there to support her from
permanently blank face and lifted her hea
Naturally, she could always be found
“Kyon, could it be that… this person
Haruhi also looked surprised. Her h
Asahina as she stared at Keiichi in e
darkness.
“Dead?”
Her voice was unusually soft and e
peculiar. I turned around to try to say
nowhere to be found as he had a somber
was also standing out in the hallway.
Only one person who’d been in the
scene.
Keiichi’s younger brother, Yutaka Ta
We broke into the room to find one
person who happened to be suspiciously
“Hey, Kyon…”
Haruhi spoke again. It almost looked
any second. She had an unfamiliar look o

Page108

a look of astonishment on his face. He
rse he wasn’t. Since it appeared that he

he item protruding from his chest looked
knife that had been included with the
d during dinner.
a metal blade on the other side of that
out of the chest of an unmoving human
Which meant that the knife was stuck in

uld die if they had a knife through their

urrent state.

he other side of the busted door. I turned
over her mouth. She staggered backward
m behind. Nagato turned to me with her
ad as if deep in thought.
d where we were.
is…”
head was sticking into the room next to
eternal repose with catlike eyes in the

even slightly nervous, which was very
something. Koizumi’s usual smile was
expression on his face. The maid, Mori,

manor yesterday was missing from this

amaru, wasn’t here.
e silenced owner of the manor and one
absent. What might that mean?

d as though she were going to cling to me
of anxiety on her face.

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Another flash of lightning lit up the
The sound of thunder accompanied the
bump–inducing sounds.

This was a remote island. And ther
manor was lying before us in what had
chest.

I couldn’t help wondering.
Hey, Haruhi.
Were you the one who made this hap
I flashbacked to the reason the SOS B
Back one day before summer vacatio
………
……
…

It was mid-July in the dead of summer.
wanted to give the sun a paid vacation.

As always, I was in the literary clu
drinking Asahina’s trademark hot tea. I w
exam results we had just received, but wh
supplementary classes, I couldn’t really
to escape reality.

I spontaneously came up with a num
was just a big lie and began mulling over

“Um, is something the matter?”
I snapped myself out of the fake stor
dark side of the moon would land and
before makeup exams.
“You have a strained look on your fa
“Of course not.”
It was as sweet as always. Though it
“That’s a relief.”
Asahina breathed a soft sigh as sh
responded to her relieved smile with a s
happiness. You could send Xu Fu from
Penglai in a quest for a miracle cure

Page109

room. The storm had peaked yesterday.
crashing of waves in an array of goose

re was a storm. And the master of the
been a sealed room, with a knife in his

ppen?
Brigade members ended up in this place.
on had started…

The weather was so intensely hot that I

ub room, which served as our hideout,
was attempting to recover from the term
hen I thought about how I’d have to take
relax. This is when people start wanting

mber of potential reasons for why reality
r which one to use.

ry where a bunch of evil aliens from the
d destroy the Diet building on the day

ace… Does the tea taste bad?”

was made using cheap tea leaves.

he stood in her summer maid outfit. I
smile of my own. Your happiness is my
m China to the mountain gods of Mount
and not find a panacea stronger than

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Asahina’s smile. My heart currently felt
and I swear that I could almost envisio
their horns…

And I was in the middle of delive
Francis of Assisi preaching to the birds
chaining modifiers, but because some
needlessly melodic voice.

“Hello, everyone. How did you do on
Koizumi rolled the dice on the Mono
question he really didn’t need to ask. Th
the dark side of the moon again and wa
myself down. Why don’t you just play M
a thing or two from Nagato, who’s sittin
reading a book.
Nagato had what looked to be a hard
metal folding chair in her summer sailo
that didn’t seem to breathe and her eyes f
a reason she enjoys acquiring data throug
digital entity.
“…”
In any case, everybody had too much
Today was a short day and school h
why were we all gathered in this plac
myself, but I had a legitimate reason. I
every day or I’ll become a living corpse.
on Saturdays and Sundays.
That was just a joke. That should go
entering high school that some people ha
fact, that’s the only thing I’ve learned o
right. You should draw a clear line betw
run the risk of suffering an unpleasant ex
The way I am now.
I opened my bag and took out the
school vendor to eat with my tea.
It was the time of year when every
summer vacation, so there was a reason
club room like cats—or not. I’m fairly c

Page110

clearer than the surface of Lake Mashu,
on messengers from heaven blowing on

ering an impassioned speech like Saint
but I stopped. Not because I got sick of
eone showed up to interfere with his

n your finals?”
opoly board on the table as he asked the
hanks to him, my mind was warping to
as in satellite orbit before I could calm
Monopoly by yourself over there? Learn
ng in the corner of the room and quietly

dcover encyclopedia open as she sat in a
or uniform with a face like a glass mask
focused on the pages. I wonder if there’s
gh analog methods when she’s more of a

h free time.
had officially been out before noon, so
ce? That question was also directed at
have to drink one cup of Asahina’s tea
. Which is why I suffer from withdrawal

o without saying, but I’ve learned since
ave to be told that something’s a joke. In
over the past few months so it has to be
ween jest and earnestness. Or else you’ll
xperience.

ham sandwich I’d redeemed from the

ybody was counting down the days to
n all of us were lounging around in the
confident that there wasn’t. After all, the

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

SOS Brigade started up for no real
explanation for our presence here in the
reason would be the closest thing to a r
stupid everything we do is, I’ll have less
either. Since I won’t have to do any think

“I’ll also take this chance to eat lunch
After happily pouring herself som
looking lunch box and sat down at the tab
“Don’t mind me. I ate in the cafeteria
Koizumi spoke in a cheerful voice
asked. Nagato appeared to be more intere
Asahina poked at her white rice wi
seasoning furikake.
“Where’s Suzumiya? She’s awfully l
Why are you asking me? Maybe
grasshoppers. Since it’s summer.
Koizumi responded in my stead.
“I saw her in the cafeteria earlier. She
imagine how many ergs you would hav
value of everything she ate.”
And I don’t feel like running the num
until dinner if she wants.
“That won’t happen. She seems to ha
today.”
I have no idea how you can look so
never produced anything of value. Do
five-and-a-quarter-inch floppy disk?
“Besides, how do you know about thi
Koizumi feigned ignorance.
“Indeed, I wonder why. I could an
Suzumiya would prefer to tell you hers
ruined her fun by telling you what she ha
“I didn’t want to hear it myself.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. Your tone basically told me
scheme. I don’t know how many more
lasted, but it’s obvious that the peace has

Page111

reason, so there had never been an
e first place. I suppose that the lack of a
reason for any of this. Considering how
of a headache if there isn’t any meaning
king.
h.”
me tea, Asahina took out an adorable-
ble across from me.
a before coming here.”
in response to a question nobody had
ested in reading than eating.
ith a smiley face drawn on it using the

late.”
she’s off somewhere trying to catch

e had an admirable appetite. I can’t even
ve if you were to convert the nutritional

mbers. Hell, she can stay in the cafeteria

ave an important announcement to make

o cheerful. Her big announcements have
you have less memory capacity than a

is?”

nswer your question, but I believe that
self. It would be rather troublesome if I
as to say. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

e that the idiot is up to another idiotic
minutes my peace of mind would have
s been broken.”

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And as I was about to finish my rema
“Okay, everybody’s here, right?!”
Haruhi was standing there with eyes
“We have an important meeting toda
showed up after I did by assigning them
the Can. It appears that you’re all devel
members. That’s a very good thing!”
I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that
today.
“You sure took your time.”
That was meant to be sarcastic.
“Okay? The trick to eating your fill a
close. Then the cafeteria ladies will giv
key. If you wait too long, everything cou
Today was a lucky day.”
“I see.”
That was all I had to say in response
with a boasting face, since I rarely ate in
Haruhi sat down on the brigade chief
“Well, that doesn’t really matter.”
“You’re the one who brought it up.”
But Haruhi just ignored me and tu
chopsticks in a proper manner.
“Mikuru, what do you think of when
“Huh?”
Asahina covered her mouth as she ch
made herself, apparently.
“Summer? Um, the Feast of Lanterns
A rather old-fashioned response, w
“Feast of Lanterns? What’s that? Sure yo
something? That’s not what I meant. Th
into your head the second you hear ‘summ
What’s that?
Haruhi said in a matter-of-fact tone,
Shouldn’t that be obvious?”
That’s too obvious.
“And then, what does summer vacati

Page112

arks, the door slammed open.

that shined like a spectroscope.
ay. I’d planned on punishing anyone who
m to be permanently It in a game of Kick
loping a sense of pride in being brigade

t I hadn’t heard a thing about a meeting

at the cafeteria is to go right before they
ve you extra leftovers. But the timing is
uld be sold out by the time you get there.

e to the worthless information presented
the cafeteria.
f’s desk.

urned to Asahina, who was using her

summer is mentioned?”

hewed and swallowed the food that she’d

s… I guess?”
which made Haruhi blink a few times.
ou didn’t mix that up with Halloween or
here should be a word that instantly pops
mer.’ ”

, “Summer vacation. Summer vacation.

ion make you think of?”

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Haruhi rattled off the second questio
ticking sounds.

Asahina was drawn into Haruhi’s fl
with an answer.

“Um, well, th-the beach.”
“Yep, yep. You’re getting warmer no
think of?”
What is this? Some kind of word asso
Asahina tilted the hairband on her he
“Beach, beach, um… Ah, seafood?”
“Totally wrong. You’re getting away
trying to say is that you have to go
vacation!”
I glared at Koizumi’s increasingl
announcement you were talking about?
“An overnight trip?”
I voiced my question and Haruhi nod
“Yep, an overnight trip.”
It makes sense for people in clubs
during the summer, but what would be
couldn’t be trying to get us to go into t
that’s nowhere to be found.
I looked at Asahina, Koizumi, and
smiling, and blank.
“An overnight trip, huh… For what p
“For the SOS Brigade,” Haruhi replie
“I mean, what are we going to do?”
“We’re going on an overnight trip.”
Hah? We’re going on an overnight tr
trip. Isn’t that like saying that a headache
grilled?
“Who cares. In this case, the means a
a headache supposed to hurt? It’d be w
statement’s right.”
Her mangling of the language made
using at this point, but in any case, the r
thing.

Page113

on and looked at her watch as she made
low as she frantically tried to come up

ow. And what does the beach make you
ociation game?
ead.
y from the subject of summer. What I’m
on an overnight trip during summer
ly irritating smile. This was the big

dded her head up and down.
s to do an overnight trip or something
the purpose of our overnight trip? She
the mountains and capture some cryptid
d Nagato, whose faces were surprised,
purpose?”
ed.

rip for the sake of going on an overnight
e hurts, a tragedy is sad, or grilled fish is
and the ends are the same. Besides, isn’t
weird if a headache felt good. So that
e me wonder what dialect she was even
real problem here was the overnight trip

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“Where do you intend on going?”
“I intend on going to a remote islan
requires a superlative adjective tacked on
Well, I don’t remember hearing any
on the assigned reading list for summer v
put that into her mind.
“I did a fair amount of thinking about
Haruhi was all smiles.
“I was fretting over whether to go to
thought that it’d be more convenient to g
trapped by a blizzard in a mountain retrea
You could just go to Greenland or
why that’s necessary.
“You want to go to a mountain retrea
“That’s right. Or else it wouldn’t b
mountains for now. We’ll save that for t
this summer! No, we’re going to a remot
I was thinking that she was awfully
didn’t really feel like dissenting. Not th
anything anyway. Besides, the beach is
year. “So does this remote island in the m
“Of course! Isn’t that right, Koizumi?
“Yes, I believe so. Though it would
any lifeguards or carts selling roasted cor
As Koizumi nodded, I shot him a qu
for her?
“That’s because—” Koizumi said bef
“Koizumi is providing us with a plac
Haruhi had her hand stuck inside th
pulling out what appeared to be an unma
“Deputy Brigade Chief” on it in permane
“For this achievement, be happy, Koi
naming you the SOS Brigade deputy brig
“It is an honor.”
Koizumi respectfully accepted the
winking. Just to be clear, I’m not jealous
want a novelty item like that?

Page114

nd. In the middle of the ocean. One that
n.”
ything about Two Years’ Vacation being
vacation, so I wonder what she’d read to

t potential destinations.”

o the mountains or the beach. At first, I
go to the mountains, but you can only get
at during winter.”
something… I mean, I have to wonder

at to be trapped in there?”
be any fun. But forget about the snowy
the winter trip. We’re going to the beach
te island!”
fixated on the remote island thing, but I
hat dissenting would have accomplished
quite an attractive location this time of
middle of the ocean have a beach?”
?”
d be a completely natural beach without
rn on the cob.”
uestioning look. Why are you answering

fore he was interrupted by Haruhi.
ce to stay during this trip!”
he desk as she scrounged around before
arked armband. She then wrote the words
ent marker.
izumi, I’m promoting you two ranks and
gade chief!”

e armband before turning to me and
s of you or anything. Why would anyone

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“And so, we’ll be on an extravagant
up and ready!”

Haruhi had a look on her face that su
understood what was going on. Of course

“No, hold on a second.”
I stepped up to speak on behalf of As
“Where is this island you speak of?
is Koizumi inviting us to this place?”
Koizumi, who had been defined by H
was obviously a shady character, but the
the “Agency” was even fishier. It cou
destination turned out to be a research fa
or Nagato or something.
“One of my distant relatives happen
he flashed a harmless smile.
“He has enough money to buy a de
fact, he did just that. The manor was jus
far away that none of our acquaintances
went down the list of friends and family
came around.”
That’s a suspicious-sounding island.
Robinson Crusoe that I’d read long ago.
“No, it was just a small deserted isl
coming up and it would be more fun if th
a trip together. The owner of the villa is a
“There you have it!” said Haruhi.
She was smiling that peerless smile
making trouble for us.
“It’s a remote island! And a man
supposed to go if we’re not going? This
summer camp!”
“Why?” I asked. “What does a man
those searches for the supernatural you lo
But Haruhi was already in her own li
“A remote island in the middle of th
side! With a manor! Koizumi, your relat
a feeling I’ll hit it off with him.”

Page115

t four-day three-night tour! Get psyched

uggested this discussion was over and we
e, we didn’t.

sahina and Nagato.
We’ve been invited? What’s that? Why

Haruhi as a mysterious transfer student,
e stupid organization out there known as
uld be some sort of trap in which our
acility where they would dissect Haruhi

ns to be quite wealthy,” Koizumi said as

eserted island and build a villa there. In
st completed a few days ago, but it’s so
s were inclined to make the trip. As he
y for guests to invite, my turn eventually

I was reminded of the young adult book

land to begin with. Summer vacation is
he members of the SOS Brigade went on
also looking forward to having us.”

which tended to show up when she was

nor! A rare situation. It’s like, who’s
s is an ideal stage for the SOS Brigade’s

nor on a remote island have to do with
ove?”
ittle world.
he ocean, surrounded by water on every
tive knows what he’s doing! Yep, I have

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Any person that can hit it off with H
no exceptions, so the master of that ma
with her, at least.

I had no idea if Nagato was even
Asahina was in a slight daze and she’d st

“Don’t worry, Mikuru. You’ll get to
that right?”

“It’ll be arranged,” said Koizumi.
“There you have it.”
Haruhi took another unmarked armb
do you have?
“We’re off to the remote island! I’m
there. My role has already been decided!
She was writing on the armband with
wild handwriting spelled out, as far as I c
“Why don’t you tell me what you’re
“Nothing at all,” Koizumi said in cas
Once Haruhi had been satisfied by d
she called it a day and left. Asahina and
home. Only Koizumi and I remained.
Koizumi ran his hands through his ha
“I’m telling the truth. Suzumiya wou
if I hadn’t spoken up. Since summer va
have preferred hunting for tsuchinoko
mountains?”
“What’s this tsuchinoko thing—no
tsuchinoko is. I can figure it out for myse
“Three days ago, I ran into Suzumi
was staring intently at a map of Japan.
magazine that was doing a special on cry
A trip to search for cryptids, huh? T
my spine. We’re talking about Haruhi h
find something.
“Right? It appears that Suzumiya in
hunch that the Hiba Mountains are at the
In which case, you could say that sunb
greatest number of people possible. A

Page116

Haruhi is guaranteed to be a deviant with
anor must be a deviant. If he hits it off

listening to Haruhi’s little speech, but
topped eating her lunch.
eat all the fresh seafood you want. Isn’t

band out of the desk. How many extras

m certain that something fun awaits us
!”
h a permanent marker as she spoke. Her
could tell, the words “great detective.”
plotting?”
sual denial.
delivering her important announcement,
d Nagato also left the club room to head

air.
uld still have planned a trip of some sort
acation feels short yet long. Would you
instead of going to the beach or the

o, never mind. Don’t explain what a
elf.”
iya at the bookstore by the station. She
She was also looking through an occult
yptids.”
The thought is enough to send shivers up
here. I’m scared that we might actually

ntends to go catch something. I have a
e top of her list of potential destinations.
bathing on the beach would please the
And I happened to have an appropriate

Goldenagato | mp4directs.com

destination.”
No idea how you happened to conve

ready. Well, if you compare hiking throu
with watching the female brigade memb
like comparing hell to a utopia.

“The deciding factor was the fact th
island. She mentioned something about a

Naturally, I had to ask. It’s a good
know something.

“What’s a closed circle?”
Koizumi had a smile on his face that
plainly see that if someone felt he was be
“This may only serve as a loose expla
Koizumi paused for a moment withou
“I suppose that you could say it’s clo
I had no idea how the expression on
Koizumi chuckled.
“That was a joke. ‘Closed circle’ is
where contact with the outside world has
Speak in a language I can understand
“It’s one of the common settings th
find themselves in. Allow me to offer an
to go on a skiing trip in the middle of win
That reminds me that Haruhi said som
“So we’ve managed to find lodging o
into a record blizzard.”
If you’re going to a place like that,
first.
“Well, now we’re in trouble. Storm
prevent us from descending the mountai
to the mountain retreat.”
So deal with it.
“It’s called a closed circle because no
happens under these circumstances. T
murder. This is where the setting is truly
characters are unable to escape the buil
any new characters coming from t

Page117

eniently have such a perfect destination
ugh the mountains under the blazing sun
bers wearing swimsuits on the beach, it’s

hat this was a privately owned deserted
a closed circle.”
d idea to ask questions when you don’t

was completely free of sarcasm. I could
eing sarcastic, they were blind.
anation.”
ut losing his smile.
osed space.”
my face could be considered funny, but

s a mystery term. It refers to a situation
s been severed.”
d.
he characters of classic mystery stories
example. For instance, say that we were
nter.”
mething about snowy mountains.
on said snowy mountain, but then we run

you should check the weather forecast

m force winds and snow accumulation
in. And nobody else can make their way

othing can be done. And then something
The most popular incident would be a
y allowed to shine. The culprit and other
lding. At the same time, there won’t be
the outside. It would be especially

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