The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya

than necessary, but that was expected.

idbit as though it were some kind of
i came up with it. Nobody has ever been
wasn’t exactly surprised. I didn’t bother
too much of a pain. In fact, I was in a

ds on some unexpected extra cash.
hara Pirates.

r.
ur room in the clubhouse, living another

i as I drank tea made by Asahina in her
ding a philosophy book she’d borrowed
k dictionary. By the way, Asahina was
It’s definitely better to be served by a
d carrying a tray as she intently watched

m as of late.
as the grand Yellow River, was always

he jumped in like a cold winter draft.
e, which gave me the creeps. Whenever
to happen that will leave me exhausted.

stupid to say.

and flipped over two of Koizumi’s white

I reluctantly took them.
er. One was for a soccer tournament. The
m seriously going to curse whoever it is

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that prints these things out.
“I was actually planning on doing on

the baseball tournament just happened to
want?”

I succumbed to my feelings of glo
Koizumi smiled wryly as he flicked at h
with tears in her eyes. Nagato remaine
being the only part of her body showing

“So how many people do you need
from last time suffice?”

As I watched the glowing smile on H
one would require fewer people.

Page41

ne of these two instead of baseball. But
o be earlier. So, Kyon, which one do you
oom and looked around the club room.
his pieces. Asahina was shaking her head
ed buried in her books with her fingers
any sign of movement.
for soccer and football? Will the roster
Haruhi’s face, I tried to figure out which

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BAMBOO LEA

Come to think of it, May had been a p
here we were in July, and it was even
such a ridiculous rate that my discomfo
looking buildings that made up our hig
fancy comforts such as air conditioners
like a burning waiting room to hell, whi
designed this place understood what ame

On top of that, we were in the firs
corner, so my happy feelings had wande
Brazil and wouldn’t be returning anytime

Midterms had been quite a disaster,
get a decent grade on my finals. And the
due to too much time spent on SOS B
devoted to studying. Not that I chose to
had been established in spring that every
from place to place for no real reason at
lifestyle. I really hated how I was growin

We were sitting in the classroom du
from the west. The girl sitting behind me

“Do you know what day it is?”
Haruhi Suzumiya said this with a l
schooler on Christmas Eve. When she s
face, it’s a signal that she’s up to no go
think.
“Your birthday?”
“No.”
“Asahina’s birthday.”

Page42

AF RHAPSODY

pretty hot month, temperature-wise, but
hotter. Plus, the humidity was rising at
ort index was off the charts. The cheap-
gh school were completely free of any
s. The interior of the 1-5 classroom felt
ich made you wonder if the person who
enities were.
st week of July, with finals around the
ered off to somewhere in the vicinity of
e soon.
and at this rate, I seriously doubted I’d
ere was no denying that the problem was
Brigade activities and not enough time
o spend my time on that crap, but a rule
y time Haruhi said something, I had to go
all, and this was now my part of normal
ng accustomed to this practice.
uring a break with sunlight streaming in
e poked me in the back with her pencil.

look on her face like she was a grade
starts showing this much emotion on her
ood. I spent three seconds pretending to

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“No!”
“Koizumi’s or Nagato’s birthday.”
“I don’t even know when those are.”
“Incidentally, my birthday is—”
“I don’t care. You have no idea what
You can say whatever you want, but
hot weekday.
“Tell me what month and what day it
“July seventh… This seems like a s
about Tanabata.”
“Of course I am. It’s Tanabata,
supposed to remember Tanabata.”
First of all, that actually began as a C
Festival, is supposed to be next month if
Haruhi waved her pencil in front of m
“Everything this side of the Red Sea
That’s an odd way to describe geogra
“We’re in the same block for the Wo
isn’t much of a difference between July a
Oh, really.
“Whatever. We have to do a proper
throw myself into these kinds of events.”
I’m pretty sure there are better thin
more importantly, why is it necessary fo
about what you want to do.
“It’s more fun if everyone participa
members will get together for a big party
“Don’t decide that on your own.”
I was watching a needlessly triumpha
which left me feeling that it was stupid to
And once class was over for the day
second the bell rang.
“I’ll be waiting in the club room! Yo
in parting.
I didn’t need her to tell me to go to th
be a person I try to meet at least once a d

Page43

t an important day it is, do you?”
as far as I’m concerned, it’s just a really

t is.”
stretch, but don’t tell me you’re talking

you know. Every Japanese person is

Chinese tradition. And Tanabata, the Star
you go by the Chinese calendar.
my face.
is considered Asia.”
aphy.
orld Cup preliminaries, right? And there
and August. It’s still summer.”

r job of celebrating Tanabata. I always
”
ngs for you to throw yourself into. And
or you to tell me this? I could care less

ates. Starting this year, all the brigade
y on Tanabata.”

ant look on Haruhi’s face as I protested,
o bother to try to object.
y, Haruhi flew out of the classroom the

ou’re not allowed to go home!” she said

he club room. After all, there happens to
day. The only such person.

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The other brigade members had alrea
hideout, the literary club room on the
where we would be considered parasites

“Ah, hello.”
That greeting came from Mikuru A
face. She’s the source of my peace. An
meaningless as curry rice without the cur
Since it was July, Asahina had swit
outfit. Who knew where Haruhi had
receiving it, Asahina had sincerely thank
much.” She was serving as the SOS
making tea for me. As I drank the tea, I l
“Hello, how are you doing?”
Itsuki Koizumi nodded to me from
long table as he moved pieces around w
problems in the other.
“I’ve been going insane ever since I s
Last week, Koizumi had brought th
trying out chess since he was getting t
know the rules, and neither did any of
playing chess by his lonesome, which I
nothing to worry about regarding the upc
“I wouldn’t say that I have nothing to
exercising my brain while taking a brea
improves the blood circulation in my bra
No thanks. I don’t feel like doing an
have a feeling that if I learn any of t
vocabulary words I have to remember ou
“That’s unfortunate. Shall I bring
would be a good idea to bring something
you recommend?”
Anything works. Though at the
acceptable. This is the SOS Brigade, no
objective of the SOS Brigade’s activities
no idea what this enigmatic brigade is s
know, and I’m probably safer off not k
doing anything. My logic is perfect.

Page44

ady assembled in the SOS Brigade’s
second floor of the clubhouse, a place
rather than tenants.

Asahina, who had a bright smile on her
n SOS Brigade without her would be as
rry.
tched to a summer version of her maid

brought the costume from, but upon
ked her by saying, “Ah, thank you very
Brigade’s maid again today, earnestly
looked across the room.

his seat in front of a chessboard at the
with one hand and held a book of chess

started high school.”
he board after saying something about
tired of Othello. Unfortunately, I didn’t
f the other people here so he was left
supposed was an indication that he had
coming exams.
o worry about. This is merely a means of
ak from studying. Every problem solved
ain. Would you care to join me?”
ny more thinking than I have to. Plus, I
this weird stuff, it’ll boot the English
ut of my memory.
LIFE or Battleship next time? Yes, it
g that everyone could play. What would

same time, nothing would really be
ot a board game club. Incidentally, the
s remains a mystery to me, so I still have
supposed to do. Not that I really want to
knowing. Which is why I don’t feel like

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Koizumi shrugged and returned to h
knight and moved it to a new position.

Next to Koizumi was Yuki Nagato
emotion than an animatronics puppet i
reticent and curt pseudo-alien had finall
texts instead of their translated version
looked like some kind of ancient and he
some kind of Fraktur script I couldn’t de
ancient Etruscan or something. Nagato w
a Linear A inscription on a stone tablet.

I pulled back the metal chair and too
down in front of me. It’s really a bad
weather—except that I most definitely
thought. I simply sipped my tea with a h
and sweltering.

An electric fan that Haruhi had br
whirring away in the corner of the room,
boiling water onto hot stone. She should
the faculty office.

I looked up from my English textboo
and leaned back into the metal chair to st

It wasn’t like I was going to study w
well try to get some studying done af
discovered, a change in location isn’t go
you don’t want to do. It’s bad for both
you don’t want to do. In other words, yo
what you don’t want to do. Okay, I quit.
decided to watch my sedative. I was re
pessimistic soul, by which I mean the m
on her math problem set.

She stared earnestly at her problem
notebook before becoming deep in thoug
she jumped as though a lightbulb had go
across the paper. And naturally, the girl
Mikuru Asahina.

The mere sight of her is enough to c
that I would have been willing to donat

Page45

his book of problems. He took a black

o, buried in a book and showing less
in some B movie. It appeared that the
ly developed a taste for reading original
ns. The book she was currently reading
eavy spell book with a title scribbled in
ecipher. I’m pretty sure it was written in
would probably have no problem reading

ok a seat. Asahina immediately set a cup
idea to drink hot tea in this sweltering
y was not harboring such a wrongful
heartfelt sense of gratitude. Yep, it’s hot

rought in from who knows where was
, but it was about as effective as pouring
d have just stolen an air conditioner from

ok with its pages flipping in the breeze,
tretch.
when I got home, so I figured I might as
fter school in the club room, but as I
oing to make you want to do something
the body and the mind to do something
ou’ll live a healthier life if you don’t do
I spun my pencil, shut the textbook, and
eferring to the sedative for soothing my
maid sitting across the table and working

set as she periodically scribbled in her
ght with a listless look on her face until
one off in her head and her pencil raced
repeating this cycle was none other than

calm me down. I was feeling so amiable
te more than just a few coins to the bell

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ringers on the streets. Asahina was so fo
even notice me watching her. Every one
me smile. In fact, I had a big grin plaster
a baby seal.

Our eyes met.
“Ah. Wh-What is it? Did I do someth
Asahina looked herself over in a flust
about to deliver some form of angel meta
“Hey, hey!”
The door flew open and the rude girl
“Sorriez. Didn’t mean to be late.”
No need to apologize. Nobody was w
Haruhi showed up speaking in a bo
bamboo over her shoulder. It was a fre
leaves.
“Why did you bring that here? Are
something?”
Haruhi puffed up in response.
“To hang wish cards on, obviously.”
Why? For what reason?
“No real reason. I just suddenly felt
we get to hang up our wishes. Since toda
… As always, her actions truly had n
“Where’d you get that from?”
“The thicket behind our school.”
Pretty sure that’s private property. Da
“Who cares, really? The roots are sti
one stalk on the surface is missing. Tho
stole a bamboo shoot. Anyway, I’m all
Mikuru, could you apply some ointment
“Ah… yes! At once!”
Asahina quickly ran over with the fir
nurse in training as she took out the tub
the hem of Haruhi’s sailor uniform to re
as she bent forward.
“A little more to the right… That’s to
Haruhi closed her eyes like a kitten b

Page46

ocused on studying math that she didn’t
e of her movements was enough to make
red on my face. I felt like I was watching

hing strange?”
ter. That was quite a fine sight and I was
aphor when…

made her rude entrance.

waiting for you.
oisterous voice with a chunky stalk of
esh one, thick with deep green bamboo

you planning on making a safe box or

like doing it and it’s been a while. Plus
ay is Tanabata after all.”
no meaning.

amn bamboo thief.
ill under the earth so it doesn’t matter if
ough it might be considered a crime if I
itchy after being bitten by mosquitoes.
to my back?”

rst aid kit in her hands. She looked like a
be of ointment and stuck her hand under
each her back. Haruhi continued talking

oo far right. Yeah, that’s the spot.”
being scratched on its chin, but once the

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bamboo was placed next to the window,
desk before pulling a number of pap
cheerfully.

“Come on, write down your wishes.”
Nagato abruptly looked up. Koizum
Asahina’s eyes were as wide as saucers
she’s pulling leaves off the bamboo. Ha
her skirt.
“But there are conditions.”
“What?”
“Kyon, do you know who grants wish
“Orihime and Hikoboshi, right?”
“Correct, ten points. Then, do you k
refer to?”
“No clue.”
“Vega and Altair, I believe.”
Koizumi promptly answered.
“Exactly! Eighty-five points! Those
other words, we should hang the wish ca
“What are you trying to say? And w
cover?”
“Ahem,” was the arrogant response f
“Allow me to explain. First of all, i
speed of light. That fact is based on the s
What’s with the lecture out of no
pocket, pulled out a crumpled up sheet of
“By the way, the distances from Ea
light-years and sixteen light-years respec
from Earth will naturally take twenty-f
respective star, right?”
So what? And you actually bothered
“So it means that it’ll take a fair am
your wish. So our wishes won’t be gra
down whatever you want to happen in yo
sixteen years from now! If you put
boyfriend by next Christmas!’ it won’t be
Haruhi stated this emphatically as she

Page47

, she stood on top of the brigade chief’s
per cards out of nowhere. She smiled

”
mi had a mocking smile on his face.
s. This came out of nowhere, and now
aruhi hopped off the desk with a flip of

hes on Tanabata?”

know what stars Orihime and Hikoboshi

are the exact stars I was referring to! In
ards facing those stars. Got it?”
what would the remaining fifteen points

from Haruhi.
it is impossible to travel faster than the
special theory of relativity.”
owhere? Haruhi reached into her skirt
f notepaper, and glanced at her notes.
arth to Vega and Altair are twenty-five
ctively. Which means that any data sent
five years or sixteen years to reach its

to research this stuff?
mount of time before either god can read
anted for a while. Make sure you write
our future twenty-five years from now or

down something like, ‘I want a cool
e granted in time!”
e waved her arms around.

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“Hey, hold on a second. If it takes ar
there, shouldn’t it take just as long to retu
in fifty years or thirty-two years?”

“We’re talking about gods here. The
happens once a year, like a fifty percent s

And she ignores relativity when it sui
“Okay, everyone. You all understan
two different kinds of wish cards. One
Altair. So, write down whatever wishes
years or sixteen years.”
An unreasonable statement. First of
ask for two kinds of wishes. Besides, how
idea what I’ll be doing in twenty-five y
can think of would be that Social Securit
and are still functioning properly. Pretty
would be annoyed by such wishes. They
so they probably feel that the gover
themselves. At least, that’s how I’d feel.
Still, she always comes up with these
hole inside her head or something? I won
from.
“You can’t say that for sure.”
Koizumi sounded like he was taking
voice that could only be heard by me.
“Suzumiya’s actions may be eccent
grasp on her common sense.”
Koizumi flashed his usual cheerful sm
“If her pattern of thought were abno
as it is. The world would become a bizarr
“How can you tell?” I asked.
“Suzumiya wishes for the world t
happens to possess the power to recon
aware of this.”
I sure am. Though I still have my dou
“However, the world has yet to lose
common sense before her personal desire
“This is a rather childish example,”

Page48

round twenty-five years to make the trip
urn? So wouldn’t our wishes be fulfilled

ey’ll work that out somehow. This only
summer sale.”
its her purpose.
nd what’s going on, right? We’re doing
set goes to Vega and the other goes to
s you want to be granted in twenty-five

all, you have to be pretty shameless to
w can I make any wishes when I have no
years or sixteen years? The only thing I
ty and Wall Street haven’t gone belly-up
y sure that both Orihime and Hikoboshi
y only get to meet each other once a year
rnment should deal with those issues

e pointless ideas. Does she have a white
nder what universe her common sense is

Haruhi’s side. Except he spoke in a soft

tric, but nevertheless, she has a strong

mile at me.
ormal, this world would not be as stable
re place governed by odd principles.”

to become a stranger place. And she
nstruct this world. You should be well

ubts.
e its reason. Which means she is putting
es.”
Koizumi said by way of introducing his

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next little spiel.
“Assume, for instance, that she w

common sense dictates that Santa co
impossible for someone to sneak into hig
being spotted by anyone, at least in mode
know what every single child wants? He
home of every single good child in th
impossible.”

Any person who seriously thinks abo
“You are absolutely right. Which is w
I was only arguing against him beca
Haruhi, but I just voiced another question
“If that’s the case, shouldn’t aliens,
way Santa doesn’t? So why are you here?
“That is why Suzumiya is growing f
Her common sense denies her desire for
frequently occur.”
So in the end, her common sense lost
“I’m sure that some unrepressed des
to this place and granted me mysteriou
why you are here.”
And let’s keep it that way. At the ve
the fact that I am a normal human being.
Though I still don’t know if I should
“Over there! No whispering. I’m talk
I suppose that the sight of Koizumi a
Haruhi was yelling at us with her eyes na
the cards and pencils she handed to us an
Haruhi was humming as her pen ra
there staring at hers. Asahina had a puzz
trying to solve the Königsberg bridge p
quandary,” in a carefree tone and tilted h
of them to think so hard about it. Just hav
… Don’t tell me that they expect w
reality.
I spun my pencil around as I looked t
been chopped off by Haruhi sat poking t

Page49

wanted Santa Claus to exist. However,
ould not possibly exist. It would be
ghly secured houses late at night without
ern Japan. And how does Saint Nicholas
e couldn’t possibly have time to visit the
he world in one night. It’s physically

out this stuff has issues.
why Santa Claus does not exist.”
ause I didn’t like how he was defending
n.
time travelers, and espers not exist the
?”
frustrated with her own common sense.
r a world where supernatural phenomena

t?
sires called Asahina, Nagato, and myself
us powers. Though I have no idea as to

ery least, I, unlike you, am confident in

be happy about that or not.
king about something serious here.”
and me whispering had been an eyesore.
arrowed so we had no choice but to take
nd return to our seats.
aced across her card. Nagato just stood
zled look on her face as though she were
problem. Koizumi simply said, “What a
his head. There’s no reason for the three
ve to make something up.
what we write down to actually become

to the side. The stalk of bamboo that had
through the open window with its leaves

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sticking every which way. An occasiona
and cool the room down.

“Hey, did you finish writing yours?”
I turned in response to Haruhi’s voic
read as follows:
I WISH FOR THE WORLD TO REVOLVE AR
I WISH FOR THE EARTH TO ROTATE IN TH
She almost sounded like some kind
problem if she meant for it to be a joke,
wish cards on the bamboo leaf was dead
Asahina had written hers with adorab

Page50

al passing breeze would set them rustling
ce. The cards on the table in front of her

ROUND ME
HE OTHER DIRECTION

of obnoxious little kid. It wouldn’t be a
but the look on her face as she hung the
serious.
ble and neat handwriting.

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GPoalgdee5n1agato | mp4directs.com

I WISH TO GET BETTER AT SEWING
I WISH TO GET BETTER AT COOKING
What a sweet thing to ask for. Asahin
her eyes to pray in front of the wish card
works.
Nagato’s cards were pretty bland. Th
and REFORM written in a printed-style han
As for Koizumi, he was pretty much
phrases THE WORLD AT PEACE and THE
written in surprisingly messy hand-writin
And me? My wishes were simple.
another twenty-five years or sixteen yea
so I’m sure that I would wish for the follo
FORK OVER MONEY
GIVE ME A TWO-STORY HOUSE WITH A L
“You’re such a Philistine.”
Haruhi commented in a tone of disgu
hung up. She’s the last person who sho
My wishes are far more productive than
way.
“Well, whatever. Everybody, make
down. The first point comes in sixteen y
Hikoboshi grants first!”
“Ah… yes. Yes.”
I glanced over at Asahina nodding
metal chair. I turned to find that Nagato h
Haruhi secured the long stalk of bam
a chair over next to the it and plopping
windowsill and stared up at the sky. Th
from the side made me feel uneasy. She
just shouting and yelling a second ago.
I opened my textbook in an attemp
memorize the different types of relative p
“… Sixteen years, huh. That’s a lo
behind me.

Page52

na clasped her hands together and closed
ds. I think she’s confused about how this

hey just had the dreary words HARMONY
ndwriting.
h on the same level as Nagato with the

E PEACE AND PROSPERITY OF MY FAMILY

ng.
After all, they wouldn’t come true for
ars. I’d be a pretty old man by that point
owing:

LAWN

ust as she looked at the wish cards I had
ould be acting disgusted with someone.
wishing for the world to rotate the other

e sure you remember what you wrote
years. We’ll compete to see whose wish

earnestly as I sat down in my original
had gone back to reading her book.
mboo through the window before pulling
g down. She propped her elbow on the
he fact that she looked awfully gloomy
has severe mood swing issues. She was

pt to resume my studying and tried to
pronouns.
ong time,” I heard Haruhi murmuring

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While Nagato continued to read Western
playing chess by himself, and I memoriz
Haruhi spent the entire time sitting next t
I can’t deny that she looks good if she ke
wondering if she’d decided to follow Na
Haruhi was creepy in its own right. Bec
about something that will cause trouble f

Still, Haruhi seemed to be in particu
up at the sky and sigh deeply. She’s gett
she’s quiet now just means that we’ll b
probably how Emperor Sutoku felt the f
to Sanuki.

I heard the sound of paper rustling
staring at her problem set across from me
her right eye as she passed me one of th
a quick glance before taking her hand b
girl who had just succeeded in pulling of

I was fully intent on being an accom
given me and took a look.

PLEASE WAIT IN THE CLUB ROOM AFTER
The message was written in small let
Naturally, I’ll do as she asks.

“That’s it for today.”
The second after Haruhi said that,

room. It just felt so weird. A person th
burned massive amounts of fuel was an
works out perfectly for me.

“Then I’ll also excuse myself.”
Koizumi put away the chess piece
Asahina and me, he left the literary club
Nagato shut her book with a thud.
Thanks… and as I felt this sense of grati
making any sound, like a cat.
“Here.”
She handed a piece of paper to me.

Page53

n books in silence, Koizumi returned to
zed whole chunks of English translation,
to the window and looking up at the sky.
eeps her mouth shut and stays still. I was
agato’s brooding behavior, but a dejected
cause it’s a sure sign that she’s thinking
for the rest of us.
ularly low spirits today. She would look
ting creepier by the second. The fact that
be in for a real horror later on. This is
first two or three days after being exiled

and looked up. Asahina, who had been
e, held one finger to her lips and winked
he extra cards. Asahina then gave Haruhi
back. She looked back down like a little
ff a prank.
mplice as I drew in the card Asahina had

R WE’RE DONE. *MIKURU*
ttering.

she grabbed her bag and left the club
hat usually acted like a diesel truck that
n admirable solar car today. Though it

es and stood up. And after nodding to
room.
Oh, you’re going to follow them out?
itude, Nagato walked over to me without

. It was another card. Handing me this

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thing doesn’t mean I’m going to delive
thought in mind, I looked down.

A number of unintelligible figures ha
The Sumerian alphabet or something? T
decipher this thing.

My brow creased as I inspected these
couldn’t be considered pictographs or
Nagato had spun around to pack up to g
the club room.

Whatever. I slipped the card into my
had kept waiting.

“U-Um. There’s somewhere I’d like
An invitation from none other than
turned her down. I’d jump into a blast fur
“Sure. Where are we going?”
“Um… That would be… Three years
“Where” is what I asked yet “when”
Three years ago. My initial reaction w
spark my interest. Which reminded me
entity who claims to be a time traveler. S
forgotten. Still, three years ago? “That’
means time travel?”
“Yes—exactly.”
“Well, I don’t really mind, but why m
“I’m sure that… you’ll find out when
What’s that supposed to mean?
I must have shown traces of suspicio
her hands around with tears in her eyes a
“I beg you! Please just say, ‘Yes,’ w
I’ll… well, be in big trouble.”
“Uh. Okay then, I guess.”
“Really? Thank you so much!”
Asahina happily jumped up and dow
Asahina is happy, so am I. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Thinking back, Asahina’s confessio
had, quite frankly, been based solely on
other Asahina who looked all grown up

Page54

er it to the stars for you. And with that

ad been drawn on the card. What is this?
The Enigma machine wouldn’t be able to

e circles, triangles, and waves that really
characters, and the next thing I knew,
go home and proceeded to trudge out of

y pocket and turned to Asahina, whom I

you to come with me.”
Asahina. I’d be struck by lightning if I
rnace if she asked me to.

s ago.”
was the response I got. Still…
would be “Not again.” But it managed to
that Asahina is technically an unknown
She was so adorable that I’d completely
’s where we’re going? Which basically

me? What are we going to do?”
n you get there… probably.”

on on my face. Asahina frantically waved
as she begged me.
without asking anything for now. Or else

wn as she clutched my hand. I mean, if

on that she had “come from the future”
n her own word. The appearance of the
had made me a believer, but I couldn’t

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be positive that it wasn’t some kind of
chance to see some proof to support the t

“So, where’s the time machine?”
I was expecting something along th
but she told me that no such gimmick
travel through time? Asahina fidgeted wi
“We’ll go from here.”
Huh? Here? I looked around the life
two of us were alone.
“Yes, please sit down in the chair.
your shoulders.”
I obediently followed her instruction
back of the head, right?
“Kyon…”
I could hear Asahina’s hushed voice
breathed softly.
“I’m sorry.”
I got a bad feeling and opened m
suddenly went dark. I experienced a
consciousness. As I completely blacked
should have refused.

When I regained consciousness, my vis
that should have been vertical were hori
the left to the right, which made me rea
discovered that the left side of my head f

“Ah, are you awake?”
The voice of an angel fully broug
squirming under my left ear?
“Um… Could you lift your head soo
a strained voice. I sat up and checked my
I was sitting on a bench in the park at
I am at a loss for words. It would a
head in Asahina’s lap. And since I had
experience. What a waste.
“My legs are almost numb.”

Page55

f trick. In that case, isn’t this a perfect
theory that Asahina is a time traveler?

he lines of climbing into a desk drawer,
was involved. So how are we going to
ith her fingers in front of her apron.

eless club room for no real reason. The

Could you close your eyes? Yes, relax

ns. She wasn’t going to whack me in the

e in my ear as she stood behind me. She

my eyes, which was when everything
an overwhelming dizziness as I lost
out, I thought for a second that maybe I

sion was rotated ninety degrees. Things
izontal like the streetlight sticking from
alize that, yes, I was lying down. I soon
felt especially warm.

ght me out of my daze. What’s that

on or I’m going to be…” Asahina said in
y surroundings.
t night.
appear that I had been sleeping with my
d been asleep, I had no memory of the

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Asahina shyly smiled down at me
changed but she was wearing the North
outfit. I suppose that she’d had enough t
be late in the evening. How long had I b
anyway?

“I didn’t want to let you know
classified… Are you mad?”

No way. Absolutely not. If Haruhi
have punched her in the face, but since it

In any case, one second I was sitting
closed, and the next thing I knew, I was i
park happened to hold a number of mem
Nagato wanted me to come that one time

I scratched my head. There was some
“What’s the current date and time?”
Asahina, sitting next to me on the be
before the day we set off from. Around n
“For real?”
“For real.”
She had a serious look on her face.
That was awfully simple. But I’m n
says at face value. I need some kind of c
time.
I was about to mention this when I
shoulder. I flinched. Asahina’s head re
Asahina was leaning on me. What exactl
“Asahina?”
No response.
“Excuse me…”
“Zzz…”
Zzz?
I turned my head about eighty-five d
her lips half-parted and breathing softly a
Rustle, rustle—
Out of nowhere, the bushes behind m
pound. What the what?
“Is she sound asleep?”

Page56

e. I have no idea where she’d gotten
High sailor uniform instead of her maid
time to get changed since it appeared to
been asleep? And yeah, why was I asleep

how we time travel. Um, since it’s

had been the one responsible, I would
t was Asahina, I was totally fine with it.
in a chair in the club room with my eyes
in the park in the dead of night. And this
mories for me. This was the park where
e. Was this like a mecca for weirdoes?
ething I needed to ask about first.

ench, replied, “July seventh, three years
nine PM I think.”

not naive enough to take everything she
confirmation. Maybe I should check the

I suddenly noticed a weight on my left
ested on my shoulder. A sound-asleep
ly does she mean by this?

degrees to the left to find Asahina with
as she slept. What the what?

me began to rustle and my heart began to

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The person who spoke as she emerg
Asahina.

“Ah, Kyon. Good evening.”
It was the gorgeous version of Asah
all sorts of places and was a number of y
me. A young, beautiful woman who retai
a positive way. I’d met her once before.
same white blouse and tight deep blue m
“He-he. From this perspective…”
The adult version of Asahina poked t
“I look like a child.”
Asahina (Big) reached her hand out
sailor uniform.
“Was this how I looked back then?”
As I felt Asahina (Small) softly breat
Asahina (Big) in a daze without moving
“It was her role to guide you to this
here on.”
I stupidly attempted to question the s
“Uh… What’s going on here…?”
“I can’t give you any details. Becau
nicely.”
I turned to look at the snoozing Asah
“I put her to sleep. I couldn’t allow h
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t run into myself wh
Reasoning that sort of made sense
winked at me.
“If you follow those train tracks sout
middle school. I want you to assist the pe
away? As for the other me, sorry, but co
weigh very much.”
She sounds like a villager in some
will I get in return?”
“What will you get in return…? Let’s
The adult version of Asahina tapped
in thought before smiling knowingly.

Page57

ged from the dark foliage was… another

hina. The Asahina who had developed in
years older than the one sleeping next to
ined her adorability despite filling out in
. As she walked toward us, she wore the
miniskirt she had back then.

the sleeping Asahina’s cheek.

t to familiarly touch Asahina (Small)’s

thing on my arm, I could only look up at
a muscle.
s point. It is my role to guide you from

smiling and voluptuous Asahina.

use they’re classified. So I can only ask

hina leaning against me.
her to see me.”

hen I was at this point in time.”
e, but not really. The alluring Asahina

th, you’ll come across a school. A public
erson you find there. Could you go right
ould you carry her there? She shouldn’t

role-playing game. “What kind of item

s see, hmm—”
her finely shaped chin as she stood deep

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“I can’t personally offer you anythin
sleeping over there, but nothing more. An

Very attractive terms. Enough to ma
of Asahina sleeping was lovely enough to

“That’s a bit…”
It goes against my policy, both ment
really start to hate my rational personality
“It’s time. I have to go.”
That’s all the advice I get this time?
“Oh, and please keep me a secret fr
swear?”
Asahina (Big) stuck out her pinky
hers. We stood there like that for about a
“Good-bye, Kyon. I’ll see you again.
And with that bright farewell, Asah
disappearing out of sight in no time. She
Well, I thought to myself. I wonder
version of Asahina since she last saw me
since our previous encounter when she’d
Asahina was from an earlier time than th
way of knowing. The only thing I did
Asahina from a different time period aga

I carried Asahina on my back and she w
I wouldn’t say she was heavy, so she
Naturally, my steps began to slow. I’d be
face that was softly breathing into my ea
breathing on was all itchy.

I did my best to avoid being seen by
directions from the adult version of
approximately ten minutes through an in
corner to arrive at my destination.

East Middle School. A place I knew
Speaking of which, a familiar-looking p
couldn’t possibly mistake the small sha
metal gate.

Page58

ng. However, you can kiss the me that’s
nd only while she’s asleep, okay?”
ake me want to pump my fist. The sight
o make me lose control. But…

tally and circumstantially. This is when I
y.

rom her. Promise, okay? Want to pinky

and I unconsciously hooked mine with
a minute.
.”
hina (Big) walked off into the darkness,
had no trouble leaving this time.
how much time has passed for the adult
e. It didn’t seem like she’d changed at all
d given me that bizarre hint. Perhaps this
he previous one. I have no idea. I had no
know was that I’d be running into the
ain.

wasn’t exactly light, but at the same time,
e was somewhere in between the two.
e inclined to blame the innocent-looking
ar. The back part of my neck she’d been

any people walking by as I followed the
f Asahina. I must have walked for
ncreasingly uninhabited area. I turned a

as Taniguchi’s and Haruhi’s old school.
person was clinging to the school gate. I
adow who was attempting to climb the

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“Hey.”
I began having doubts upon openi
recognize this person was quite a myster
this person’s back and she was noticeabl
a length that couldn’t be classified as lon
Maybe it was because I couldn’t thin
be determined to climb over the school g
“What is it?”
I was finally starting to feel like I had
actually had gone back in time.
The face that turned to look at me w
was definitely younger than the face of t
was no doubt that those shining eyes be
haphazardly dressed in a T-shirt and sho
point, three years ago, Haruhi was a first
Asahina wanted me to assist?
“Who are you? A pervert? Kidnapper
The hazy glow of the streetlight illum
read the minute expressions on her face,
was obviously glaring at me as though
sneaking into school in the dead of nigh
sleeping girl on my back, which would b
There’s a question I don’t really want to
“What are you doing here then?”
“Isn’t that obvious? I’m trespassing.”
You don’t have to announce your cr
times when you shouldn’t be aggressive.
“Perfect timing. I don’t know who yo
hand. Or I’ll call the cops.”
I should be the one calling the cops
other Asahina. But yeah, I go back in ti
Suzumiya.
Haruhi hopped down from the gate a
do you have the key?”
“I stole it when I had the chance. Piec
That totally makes you a thief. Haruh
and beckoned me inside. I approached t

Page59

ing my mouth. The fact that I could
ry, if I do say so myself. I could only see
ly shorter. Her straight, black hair was at
ng or short.
nk of any other acquaintances who would
gate late at night.

d gone back three years in time. In fact, I

while she remained clinging to the gate
the SOS Brigade chief I knew. But there
elonged to Haruhi. The fact that she was
orts didn’t make any difference. At this
t-year in middle school. Was she the one

r? Awfully suspicious.”
minated the surrounding area. I couldn’t
, but the middle school first-year Haruhi
I was a suspicious person. Between her
ht and my wandering around carrying a
be considered more suspicious behavior?
think about.

”
riminal activities to the world. There are
.
ou are, but if you’ve got time, give me a

on you. Still, I made a promise with the
ime and I still have to deal with Haruhi

and opened the padlock on the bar. “Why

ce of cake.”
hi slowly slid the metal school gate open
the girl, who stood about a head shorter

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than she would be in three years, and rea
As soon as you passed through the m

would be on the school grounds and th
Haruhi began walking across the dark gro

It’s a good thing that it’s dark. She
Asahina’s this way. Certainly, Haruhi ha
run into Asahina and me back during
needed to keep it that way.

Haruhi headed straight toward the c
behind the athletic storeroom. A rusty ca
and a few bags of lime lay piled on the g

Page60

adjusted my hold on Asahina.
main entrance to East Middle School, you
he school building was located beyond.

ounds in a diagonal direction.
e won’t get a clear look at my face or
ad never entertained the notion that she’d
her first year of middle school, so we
corner of the sports ground, leading me
art, a rickety, wheeled field line marker,
ground.

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“I took this stuff out of the storeroom
Great idea, right?” Haruhi bragged as sh
to weigh as much as she did, onto the ca
a child as she struggled to push the ca
school might as well be a child.

I carefully set the slumbering Asahin
asleep for the time being.

“I’ll take care of it. Hand it over. You
Perhaps I shouldn’t have acted in suc
in such a frenzy that she’d have worked
been given the option. Her personality ha
her inner character didn’t mature over the
“Draw the lines exactly the way I tel
to stand a ways away to supervise your li
right. Ah, that spot’s crooked! What are y
Her ability to scream commands at
made it clear that Haruhi had always b
encounter with this middle school girl
genuinely dangerous.
Before I met Nagato, Asahina, and K

There were no run-ins with teachers on
after some nearby resident called the cop
in every direction on the school grounds

I never would have thought that m
appeared on the school grounds had been

As I stared in silence at the patter
walked over next to me and took the fie
to make a number of fine-tuning adjust
there.

“Say, do you think aliens exist?”
That came out of nowhere.
“Why not?”
Nagato’s face popped into my mind.
“What about time travelers, then?”
“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if they

Page62

m earlier this evening and hid them here.
he piled bags of powder, which appeared
art and lifted the handle. She looked like
art along. Guess a first-year in middle

na against the storeroom wall. Please stay

u take the line marker,” I said.
ch a cooperative way. Haruhi abused me
d a rampaging robot to the bone if she’d
adn’t changed the least bit. I can see that
e next three years.
ll you to. Yes, I’m talking to you. I have
ine drawing to make sure you’re doing it
you doing?!”
a high schooler she’d never met before
been Haruhi. If this had been my first
l, I would have thought that she was

Koizumi, at least.

n night watch or police cars showing up
ps. For thirty minutes, I drew white lines
per Haruhi’s instructions.
mysterious message that had suddenly
n drawn by me.
rns I had painstakingly drawn, Haruhi
eld line marker from me. She proceeded
tments by adding a few lines here and

y existed.”

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I’d be considered a time traveler mys
“And espers?”
“Walking all over the place, I’d guess
I recalled the countless number of red
“Sliders?”
“I haven’t met one of those yet.”
“Hmm.”
Haruhi tossed the field line marker a
dust off her face.
“Oh, well.”
I was getting nervous. Don’t tell m
looked at me with upturned eyes.
“That’s a North High uniform, right?
“Sure.”
“What’s your name?”
“John Smith.”
“… Are you stupid?”
“Let’s just say that it’s my desired ps
“Who’s that girl?”
“My older sister. She suffers from
disease. She falls asleep suddenly, so I ha
“Hmm.”
Haruhi bit her lower lip and turned to
believe me. Let’s change the subject.
“What is this supposed to be?”
“Can’t you tell? It’s a message.”
“To whom? Don’t tell me it’s to Orih
Haruhi looked surprised.
“How’d you know?”
“Well, it is Tanabata. I just happen
similar.”
“Huh? I’d love to meet that person
High?”
“Sure.”
You’re the only person now and in th
“Hmm. North High, huh?” Haruhi m
something. After staying as silent as a

Page63

self right now.
s.”
d lights.

aside and used her shoulder to wipe the

me that I said something wrong. Haruhi
?”

seudonym.”
an erratic sleep disorder. It’s a chronic
ave to carry her.”
o the side with a look that said she didn’t

hime and Hikoboshi.”

to remember someone doing something
n. There’s someone like that at North

he future who’ll ever be like that.
murmured as she appeared to contemplate

rock for a period of time, she abruptly

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turned around.
“I’m going home. I accomplished my
And then she stomped off. She d

Extremely rude behavior, but that’s what
told me her name either. Though that wo

I couldn’t stay in this place forever so I a
after I’d returned the cart and lime sto
storeroom.

The sight of Asahina sleeping like
control, but I resisted those urges and lig

“Mmm… Hmm. Huh? Wha—”
Once Asahina had opened her eyes, s
“Wha-Wha—!”
She stood up.
“Wh-Wh-Wh-Whe-… Where am I? W
How am I supposed to respond? A
Asahina emitted a short gasp before stag
that her face had turned pale.
Asahina began searching herself with
“My TPDD… is gone. It’s gone.”
Asahina looked like she was about
crying. She looked like a little girl as she
appeared that this wasn’t the time to be in
“What’s a TPDD?”
“Sniff… That would be considered
machine. That’s what I used to come to
We can’t return to our original time with
“Uh, why is it gone?”
“I don’t know… It should have been
I recalled the other Asahina touching
“Maybe somebody will come save us
“That’s impossible…” she sobbed.
Asahina began explaining as she con
the time plane were supposed to be prede
would be on her person. The fact that it w

Page64

y objective. See ya.”
didn’t even thank me for helping her.
t I’d expect from Haruhi. And she never
orks out better for me, I’d say.

attempted to wake Asahina up. This was
olen by Haruhi to the spot behind the

a kitten was enough to make me lose
ghtly shook her shoulder.

she began looking all around.

What how when are we right now?!”
As I racked my brain for an answer,
ggering. Even in the darkness, I could tell

h both hands.

t to cry. Soon enough, she really was
e cried with her hands to her eyes, but it
n high spirits.

d classified… It’s kind of like a time
this time… but I can’t find it anywhere.
hout it…”

impossible to lose… Yet I lost it.”
g this one’s body.
s—”

ntinued to sniffle. Established events on
etermined, so if a TPDD were to exist, it
was gone would be an established event,

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which would mean that its “absence” h
don’t get it.

“So in other words, what’s going to h
She sobbed, “ In other words, we’re
plane, three years in the past, unable to re
We’re in big trouble, was how I felt
all. The adult Asahina hadn’t given m
situation. She was probably the one w
created the current predicament. I presu
for that very purpose. An established ev
Asahina who came from farther in
predetermined.
I looked away from the sobbing Asah
The baffling jumble of white lines desi
sprawled across the field. The East Midd
idea what had transpired would probably
tomorrow. I’ll just have to pray that ther
consider this an insult… and that’s when
After all, it’d been dark. The only li
few flickering streetlights and the mess o
I couldn’t tell what the whole thing looke
Which is why it took me so long to n
I pulled the card Nagato had given
number of unintelligible figures on it.
“There might be a way,” I said as As
to stare at the card.
The drawings on that card were exa
had scribbled all over the school grounds

After leaving East Middle in a hurry,
apartment in front of the station.

“Is this… Nagato’s home?”
“Yes. I never heard any specific deta
but knowing her, she should have be
probably.”
I pressed the button for Room 70

Page65

had been predetermined… and yeah. I

happen to us?”
e stuck. We’ll be stranded on this time
eturn to our original space-time.”
in my heart, but I didn’t feel nervous at
me any particular warning about this
who swiped the TPDD or whatever and
ume that Asahina (Big) came to the past
vent, right? From the perspective of the
the future than this Asahina, it was

hina to glance across the school grounds.
igned by Haruhi and drawn by me was
dle School staff and students who had no
y find this creepy when they showed up
re aren’t any aliens out there who would
n I had a sudden revelation.
ighting in the school was provided by a
of white lines had been large in scale, so
ed like until I was a fair distance away.
notice.
me out of my pocket. The one with a

sahina looked at me in tears. I continued

actly the same as the ones Haruhi and I
s.

we came to a stop in front of a fancy

ails about how long she’d been on Earth,
een on this world three years ago…

08 on the intercom at the apartment’s

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entrance. There was a buzzing sound to l
the other side. I could feel the warmth of
sleeve as I spoke into the mic.

“Is this Yuki Nagato’s residence?”
“…” was the response through the in
“Ah—How should I put this…”
“…”
“Would it help if I were to say
Suzumiya?”
I could feel a chilling presence on the
brief period of silence. Then…
“Come in.”
There was a click as the door unlo
nervous Asahina in tow. We rode it to t
Room 708, the one I’d previously visite
the doorbell, the door opened, albeit slow
Yuki Nagato stood inside. This sud
actually traveled to the past?
I had to wonder because Nagato loo
was wearing a North High uniform, the
even her inorganic appearance, which
presence, added to the impression that sh
knew. However, there was something th
didn’t. The glasses she had been wearing
The glasses Nagato had worn before
some point were sitting on this Nagato’s
“Yo,” I said as I raised one hand
always, showed no expression on her f
behind me.
“Can we step inside?”
“…”
Nagato silently walked into the room
Asahina. We took off our shoes and hea
was as empty as it would be in three yea
enter the room. I had no choice but to re
our situation. Where do I even begin? F
Haruhi? That’ll take a while.

Page66