10.3  Writing a letter
As the temperature soared past 30°C earlier this week, the    The mother of one of the boys who began the protest
teenage boys had asked their teachers if they could swap      said she was proud of him. Claire Lambeth, 43, said
their long trousers for shorts. They were told no – shorts    her son Ryan, 15, had come home earlier in the week
weren’t permitted under the school’s uniform policy.          complaining about the heat. “He said it was unbearable. I
                                                              spoke to a teacher to ask about shorts and she said it was
When they protested that the girls were allowed bare          school policy [that they could not be worn]. I did say this
legs, the school – no doubt joking – said the boys were       was exceptional weather, but they were having none of it.
free to wear skirts too if they chose. So on Wednesday,       If girls can wear skirts, why can’t boys wear shorts?
a handful braved the giggles and did so. The scale of the
rebellion increased on Thursday, when at least 30 boys        “Ryan came up with the idea of wearing a skirt, so that
opted for the attire.                                         evening we borrowed one. He wore it the next day – as
                                                              did five other boys. Then this morning … I didn’t expect
“Quite refreshing” was how one of the boys described          it to take off like that. The school is being silly really – this
the experience, pointing out that if even Royal Ascot had     is exceptional weather. I was very proud of Ryan. I think it
allowed racegoers in the royal enclosure to remove their      was a great idea.”
jackets, then the school ought to relax its dress code.
Another said he rather enjoyed the “nice breeze” his skirt    Another mother said: “My 14-year-old son wanted to
had afforded him.                                             wear shorts. The headteacher told them: ‘Well, you
                                                              can wear a skirt if you like’ – but I think she was being
A third, tall boy said he was told his short skirt exposed    sarcastic. However, children tend to take you literally, and
too much hairy leg. Some of the boys visited a shop on        because she told them it was OK, there was nothing she
their way to Isca – the name the Romans gave to Exeter –      could do as long as they were school skirts.”
to pick up razors to make sure they did not fall foul of any
beauty police.                                                A third mother said: “Children also don’t like injustice.
                                                              The boys see the female teachers in sandals and nice cool
Ironically, the temperature had dropped in Exeter to a        skirts and tops while they are wearing long trousers and
more manageable 20°C, but some boys said they had             shoes and the older boys have to wear blazers. They just
enjoyed the freedom afforded by the skirts and that they      think it’s unfair that they can’t wear shorts in this heat.”
might continue.
                                                              There were signs that the revolution might be spreading.
The school said it was prepared to think again in the         The Guardian has heard of at least one more school in
long term. The headteacher, Aimee Mitchell, said: “We         Wiltshire where one boy turned up in a skirt, although it
recognise that the last few days have been exceptionally      did not go down quite so well with his friends.
hot and we are doing our utmost to enable both students
and staff to remain as comfortable as possible.               And schoolboys were not the only ones making
                                                              controversial dress choices because of the heat. Michael
“Shorts are not currently part of our uniform for boys,       Wood, who works as a porter at Watford general
and I would not want to make any changes without              hospital, claimed he was facing disciplinary action from his
consulting both students and their families. However, with    employers Medirest for rolling his trousers up to try to
hotter weather becoming more normal, I would be happy         cool down. A spokesperson for the company declined to
to consider a change for the future.”                         comment on the case, but said: “The health and safety of
                                                              our colleagues is always our number one priority.”
It was too late. The revolution was picked up by media
organisations across the globe, and Devon county council        Source: www.theguardian.com/education/2017/jun/22/teenage-boys-
was forced to help the school out with inquiries. A                            wear-skirts-to-school-protest-no-shorts-uniform-policy
spokesperson said: “About 30 boys arrived at school this
morning wearing school skirts. None of the boys have
been penalised – no one was put in isolation or detention
for wearing a skirt.”
                                                              141
10	 Directed writing
                       Exercise 5
                       Imagine that you are either one of the boys who went to school wearing a skirt
                       or his older sister who also goes to the same school. Write a letter to the school
                       authorities asking them to reconsider their policy towards wearing school uniform,
                       taking into account the different weather conditions throughout the year. You
                       should include:
                       •	 a summary of what happened at the school
                       •	 reference to the feelings of the students who made the protest and what other
                          students thought about their action
                       •	 suggestions as to how the school uniform policy can be made more flexible for
                          both very hot and very cold weather.
Key terms              10.4 Writing an interview
Interview: A           Introduction
meeting in which
a presenter or         If you are asked to write an interview, you are likely to be given a clear indication
reporter asks          of how to set it out. You will most probably be instructed to set it out as a
questions of           playscript with the names of the speakers on the left-hand side of the page and the
someone from           words they speak on the right. Remember that the main focus of a directed writing
whom material          task is to test your understanding of what you have read in the stimulus passage;
is sought for a        you should keep this in mind at all times and avoid the temptation to write a
newspaper story,       fictional piece of dialogue with little relation to the original text. You should ensure
television broadcast,  that the questions asked by the interviewer allow the person being interviewed to
etc.                   answer at some length – short, undeveloped responses will not show how well the
Playscript: The        material has been understood.
written version of a
play or film.            If you want to give a ‘direction’ about how the person speaks, put it very briefly
Direction:             in brackets after his/her name.
Instruction (for
example, the tone of     Interviewer (earnestly) Tell me about how you performed such a remarkable
voice that should be   achievement.
used to speak a line
from a script).          You (modestly) Well, it was really a bit of an accident.
                       Exercise 6
                       This passage is taken from The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall
                       Smith, which is a selection of fictional stories about Precious Ramotswe, a woman
                       from Botswana who decided to set up her own detective agency in Gaborone, the
                       capital of Botswana.
                       Imagine that you are either Precious’s father’s cousin or her husband and that you
                       are being interviewed on the day after she caught the thief by a local newspaper
                       reporter. The reporter asks you about Precious’s character and her work. Write the
                       words of the interview. Begin as follows:
                       Interviewer Precious seems to be quite a remarkable person; tell me a few things
                       about her…
                       (Remember that subsequent questions from the interviewer should allow the person
                       being interviewed to develop on key points from the original passage.)
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10.4 Writing an interview
The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency
At the age of sixteen, Mma Ramotswe left school (‘The             latch on to and whose life they could slowly destroy. These
best girl in this school,’ pronounced the Principal. ‘One of      men were like leeches; they sucked away at the goodness
the best girls in Botswana.’) Her father had wanted her to        of a woman’s heart until it was dry and all her love had been
stay on, to do her Cambridge School Certificate, and to go        used up. That took a long time, he knew, because women
even beyond that, but Mma Ramotswe was bored with                 seemed to have vast reservoirs of goodness in them.
Mochudi. She was bored, too, with working in the Upright
Small General Dealer, where every Saturday she did the            If one of these men claimed Precious, then what could he,
stocktaking and spent hours ticking off items on dog eared        a father, do? He could warn her of the risk, but whoever
stock lists. She wanted to go somewhere. She wanted her           listened to warnings about somebody they loved? He had
life to start.                                                    seen it so often before; love was a form of blindness that
                                                                  closed the eyes to the most glaring faults. You could love
‘You can go to my cousin,’ her father said. ‘That is a very       a murderer, and simply not believe that your lover would
different place. I think that you will find lots of things        do so much as crush a tick, let alone kill somebody. There
happening in that house.’                                         would be no point trying to dissuade her.
It cost him a great deal of pain to say this. He wanted her       The cousin’s house would be as safe as anywhere, even if
to stay, to look after him, but he knew that it would be          it could not protect her from men. At least the cousin could
selfish to expect her life to revolve around his. She wanted      keep an eye on her niece, and her husband might be able
freedom; she wanted to feel that she was doing something          to chase the most unsuitable men away. He was a rich man
with her life. And of course, at the back of his mind, was the    now, with more than five buses, and he would have that
thought of marriage. In a very short time, he knew, there         authority that rich men had. He might be able to send some
would be men wanting to marry her.                                of the young men packing.
He would never deny her that, of course. But what if the          The cousin was pleased to have Precious in the house. She
man who wanted to marry her was a bully, or a drunkard, or        decorated a room for her, hanging new curtains of a thick
a womaniser. All of this was possible; there was any number       yellow material which she had bought from the OK Bazaars
of men like that, waiting for an attractive girl that they could  on a shopping trip to Johannesburg. Then she filled a chest
                                                                  143
10	 Directed writing
of drawers with clothes and put on top of it a framed           a crowded bus, and as long as it was not too significant,
picture of the Pope. The floor was covered with a simply        they just ignored it. But Precious found more than this. She
patterned reed mat. It was a bright, comfortable room.          found a discrepancy of slightly over two thousand pula in
                                                                the fuel bills invoices and she drew this to the attention of
Precious settled quickly into a new routine. She was given      her cousin’s husband.
a job in the office of the bus company, where she added
invoices and checked the figures in the drivers’ records.       ‘Are you sure?’ he asked. ‘How could two thousand pula go
She was quick at this, and the cousin’s husband noticed         missing?’
that she was doing as much work as the two older clerks
put together. They sat at their tables and gossiped away        ‘Stolen?’ said Precious.
the day, occasionally moving invoices about the desk,
occasionally getting up to put on the kettle.                   The cousin’s husband shook his head. He regarded himself
                                                                as a model employer – a paternalist, yes, but that is what
It was easy for Precious, with her memory, to remember how      the men wanted, was it not? He could not believe that any
to do new things and to apply the knowledge faultlessly. She    of his employees would cheat him. How could they, when
was also willing to make suggestions, and scarcely a week       he was so good to them and did so much for them?
went past in which she failed to make some suggestion as
to how the office could be more efficient.                      Precious showed him how the money had been taken, and
                                                                they jointly pieced together how it had been moved out of
‘You’re working too hard,’ one of the clerks said to her.       the right account into another one, and had then eventually
‘You’re trying to take our jobs.’                               vanished altogether. Only one of the clerks had access to
                                                                these funds, so it must have been him; there could be no
Precious looked at them blankly. She had always worked          other explanation. She did not see the confrontation, but
as hard as she could, at everything she did, and she simply     heard it from the other room. The clerk was indignant,
did not understand how anybody could do otherwise. How          shouting his denial at the top of his voice. Then there was
could they sit there, as they did, and stare into the space in  silence for a moment, and the slamming of a door.
front of their desks when they could be adding up figures or
checking the drivers’ returns?                                  This was her first case. This was the beginning of the career
                                                                of Mma Ramotswe.
She did her own checking, often unasked, and although
everything usually added up, now and then she found a            Source: The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency,
small discrepancy. These came from the giving of incorrect
change, the cousin explained. It was easy enough to do on        Alexander McCall Smith, Abacus, 2004
                  Extension Material: Writing Dialogue
                         The following exercises (7 and 8) are concerned with expressing ideas through
                         dialogue and may help you to practise writing conversations and using a script
                         format. Such tasks are not directly relevant to preparation for your IGCSE First
                         Language English examination but practising these skills should help improve your
                         general ability to express yourself in written English, especially if you plan to
                         include the use of direct speech in your work for Coursework Assignment 3.
               Exercise 7: Script-writing
                          In the following question, you should take your information from the main
                          article, the accompanying diagrams and, perhaps, the captions which relate to the
                          diagrams. You should also use some ideas of your own.
                          Imagine that you work in a research laboratory investigating the harmful effects of
                          noise. You have some neighbours who are worried that their children enjoy playing
                          music very loudly. They come to you for advice. Write a script of your conversation.
                          Write between 25 and 35 lines.’
                          Once again, you are required to put yourself into a role and to write your answer
                          as speech. However, the register (language and tone) you use for a conversation
                          should be considerably different from that used for the speech we looked at in
                          Section 10.2. It is also important that you select points from the material that
                          would be suitable for each of the speakers in the conversation.
144
10.4 Writing an interview
Noise is a form of pollution which can be merely Long-term exposure to loud noise can bring about
irritating, or can cause physical or emotional damage. stress which has physical signs such as an increase in
For some people, the sound of music played very loudly oxygen consumption and heart rate, possibly leading
is annoying, while others revel in it. Similarly, it may to effects on the heart and circulation. Tiredness,
be enjoyable for some to drive a motor bike, while other irritability and sleep disturbances may also occur.
people find the noise anti-social.                                    The physical effects of noise on the ears can
140  DANGER TO                                    Excessive noise     be serious. Prolonged, loud noise causes
     UNPROTECTED EAR                              can have a serious  physical discomfort; it actually ‘hurts the
                                                  effect on health,   ears’. And if it is too loud or goes on for too
130 PAIN THRESHOLD                                and is associated   long, it, at first, causes temporary hearing
                                                  with stress and     loss, then deafness, due to permanent
120
110                                               anxiety. Very       damage to the delicate mechanism of the
100                                               loud noise causes   inner ear. Rock musicians performing in
                                                  physical damage     front of very powerful speakers frequently
90                                                to the delicate     have permanent hearing damage.
80                                                structures in the
                                                  ear and may result
70 in deafness.
60
50
40
30
20
10
0
                                        HEARING
                                       THRESHOLD
           TYPICAL NOISE LEVELS (DECIBELS)
If used at too high a                                                 Don’t underestimate the harmful
volume, MP3 players can                                               effects of noise. It is the form of
cause severe hearing loss.                                            pollution which has the most
Although the speakers are                                             immediate effect on people. It can
so tiny that they can fit                                             cause severe stress.
inside the ear, the sound
they produce is directed                                              Source: The Environment and Health by Brian Ward,
straight down the ear canal                                            Franklin Watts, and Wake Up to What You Can Do
and can cause damage if
the volume is turned up too                                                                   for the Environment, DETR, 1989
high.
                                                                                                              145
10	 Directed writing
               Exercise 8
                           The following article was printed in the New Straits Times.
                           Imagine you are Mohamad Muzri Mat Sari and you are talking with a group of your
                           friends about the day you fell off the pipe and broke your arm.
                           Write a page to a page and a half of dialogue.
DANGEROUS BALANCING ACT
TO GET TO AND RETURN FROM
SCHOOL
By C. Navaratnam
STUDENTS living in Kampung Pasir and Taman                  ‘Yes, promises were made several times especially
Datuk Mansor off Jalan Rasah, Seremban, do a             before the elections but nothing has been done until
balancing act – one which could prove fatal – on their   today. We are really disappointed,’ said K. Pannir
way to school daily.                                     Selvam, 37, whose son uses the pipe daily.
   They have become adept at carrying their bags            ‘I think the authorities will only act when a child
while balancing themselves to cross a 50-metre pipe      falls into the river. I am praying that my son will
about 5 m over the Sungai Linggi.                        return home safely from school daily.’
   The alternative is to walk two kilometres to school.     Housewife Tang Chow Har, 40, recalled the day
   Some 60 students of Sekolah Menengah Jalan            when her best friend fell while crossing the river
Loop are forced to use the pipe daily as this is the     about 15 years ago. Her body was later found 2 km
only way of crossing the river.                          away.
   On rainy days, when they have to hold an umbrella
and balance their bag at the same time, students do a       ‘Her death was a big blow to me,’ she said.
risky ‘horse ride’ on the pipe which is embarrassing        Tang said she is prepared to collect funds if the
for the girls.                                           authorities are willing to build a bridge across the
   To date, a housewife has died after falling into      river.
the river. A student has broken an arm in a similar         ‘A bridge is essential to us as it will only take us
accident.                                                about five minutes to reach the main road by crossing
   Residents have made several appeals to State          the river. If we have to use the other route, it will take
Assemblymen and Members of Parliament for a              us about 25 minutes,’ added Tang.
bridge across the river.                                    Fourth-former Nur Balkiesh Sulaiman said she
   Now, they can only pray that their children make      had no choice but to use the pipe to get to school.
it safely across the river every time they go to and        ‘On rainy days, when it’s dangerous to walk across,
return from school.                                      we have to “horse ride” the pipe to get to the other
                                                         end. It is very embarrassing for us,’ she said.
146
10.4 Writing an interview
   ‘We have to also bear the heat when we return          instead of walking more than two kilometres to reach
tired and hungry after school. We are unable to           the school.
hold an umbrella in one hand and the books in the
other while crossing,’ said 15-year-old Intan Razuna         ‘Of course, my parents would like me to go by bus
Mohamad Iqbal.                                            or use the other route but it is too far. My friends and
                                                          I are extra cautious while crossing on the pipe,’ said
   Fourth-former Mohamad Muzri Mat Sari, 16,              Form Two pupil P. Sivaraman.
recalled the day when he fell off the pipe and broke
his arm.                                                     ‘We not only have to use the pipe in the morning
                                                          but also in the afternoon when we go for extramural
   ‘It was in the morning and while I was half way        activities.’
along the pipeline, I slipped and fell. Thank God I
did not fall into the river and I am lucky to be alive,’     ‘We always make it a point to return before dusk,’
Mohamad Muzri said.                                       added Sivaraman.
   Several pupils admitted that it was a hazard to          Source: the New Straits Times, 8 July 1994 
cross along the pipeline but preferred doing so
Unit summary
In this unit you have reviewed the objectives:
•	 demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
•	 demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
•	 analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate
   support from the text
•	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
•	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
•	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
•	 use register appropriate to context
•	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                                                          147
CHAPTER 4
Writing
compositions
 Units
  11	 Practical guidelines
  12 	Written coursework
148
11	 Practical guidelines
                             In this unit you will:
                             H	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
                             H	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
                             H	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
                             H	 use register appropriate to context
                             H	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                             This unit will focus on the following skills:
                       Writing
                             H	 express what is thought, felt and imagined
                             H	 organise and convey facts, ideas and opinions effectively
                             H	 demonstrate a varied vocabulary appropriate to the context
                             H	 demonstrate an effective use of sentence structures
                             H	 demonstrate an understanding of audience, purpose and form
                             H	 demonstrate accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                                                                                                                                                                                      149
11	Practical guidelines
                      Introduction
                      Most English Language courses will require you to write in response to both
                      directed and imaginative writing tasks. Sometimes you will be working under timed
                      conditions, and this chapter looks at the special skills you will need.
                        For all your writing, you will need to show that you can:
                      »	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
                      »	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
                      »	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
                      »	 use register appropriate to context
                      »	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                      You will almost certainly practise writing compositions during your course. However,
                      there will be some circumstances in which you will be facing additional challenges
                      and this chapter will help you meet them.
Key terms             11.1  Some practical guidelines
Narrative: Narrative  In the following sections we consider the main challenges you might face:
writing is writing
that tells a story,   »	 Challenge 1: You don’t know what the topics will be.
either imaginative    »	 Challenge 2: You have to write within a time limit.
or true.              »	 Challenge 3: You have to write to a particular length.
Descriptive:          »	 Challenge 4: There’s only one chance to get it right.
Descriptive writing
is a type of writing  As well as advice about how to overcome these challenges, this section also
that gives a clear    contains articles about two key topics: the importance of punctuation, and spelling.
and concise
description of a        It is suggested that you read and discuss the points made in these articles either
place, person,        in small groups or as a whole-class discussion, in order to familiarise yourself with
object or event.      the principles that they present.
                      Challenge 1: You don’t know what the topics will be
                      You will not have had the opportunity to prepare the subject of your writing in
                      advance because you won’t know what you will be asked to write about until you
                      see the question.
                        From experience throughout your course, you should have a good idea of the type
                      of composition you are best at writing. This should help you to choose which topic
                      to write about in an examination.
                        This may not be the topic that immediately looks most attractive – remember
                      that you only have to write a couple of pages, and if you choose a ‘favourite’ topic
                      you may find that you have too much to say and your composition is in danger of
                      becoming too long and unstructured.
                        Topics can fall into two categories: narrative and descriptive.
                       Study tip
                       Choose your topic on the basis of two points:
                       1	 Your skills – think carefully about which type of writing you are most successful at (especially
                          under timed conditions).
                       2	 Your interest in the topic and any experience of your own that enables you to comment on
                          it – but still make sure you focus really closely on the question. Your own experience can be an
                          inspiration, but don’t let it become a distraction!
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11.1  Some practical guidelines
                                      Challenge 2: You have to write within a
                                      time limit
                                      Sometimes you need to complete your composition within a
                                      certain period of time: which is usually about one hour.
                                      The time limit means that planning is even more important
                                      than usual, not less! Make a skeleton plan of the main
                                      points that you intend to include before you start to write.
                                      Doing this will show you whether you have enough to say
                                      about the topic, as well as providing you with a paragraph
                                      structure. It is worth spending ten minutes on your plan.
                      Study tip
                      1	 Don’t write full sentences in your plan, just brief notes. Note down one key idea per paragraph,
                         backed up by very brief notes on how you will explain or argue that idea. Overall, five to eight
                         paragraphs should be adequate, plus …
                      2	 Your conclusion. Don’t forget to include this in your plan; it is a very good idea to know how you
                         intend to finish the composition before you start to write it!
                      3	 You could use a spider diagram to sort out your ideas for your composition. There is an example
                         on page 164.
Key terms             Challenge 3: You have to write to a particular length
Expression: The       Sometimes your writing will need to be a particular length. When this is the case,
vocabulary you        you need to be aware of the word count and consider it when planning and writing
use in your writing   your composition to make sure you include everything you want and need to say in
and the accuracy      a concise way. It is also sometimes acceptable to write slightly less than the word
of your spelling,     count, as long as the expression, content and structure of your composition are of
punctuation and       the required standard.
grammar.
Content: The            Similarly, you are not likely to be penalised if you exceed the suggested word
subject matter of     limit, but by doing so you are increasing the chances of making careless slips and
your writing.         errors, which may be self-penalizing. (Example 1 on pages 155–57 is a very good
Structure: The        example of a student successfully writing more than required.)
overall organisation
of your writing         If you plan your composition carefully, staying clearly focused on the topic, you
and your use of       should not have much difficulty in keeping to the suggested length.
paragraphs to
support this.         Challenge 4: There’s only one chance to get it right
                      When you write compositions as part of your schoolwork you have the opportunity
                      to produce a first draft, which you can revise and improve until you are satisfied
                      that the final product is as good as you can possibly make it, but that’s not always
                      the case. In some instances, you’ll only have time to write one version, so it’s
                      important to allow time for certain important checks.
                        We all make technical errors of spelling, punctuation and expression at times,
                      and such errors are much more likely to occur when you are writing under these
                      conditions. Stress can lead to mistakes! It is important to check through your work
                      so that you don’t make this type of avoidable error.
                        Try to keep at least five minutes when you’ve finished writing to check your work.
                      Check:
                      »	spelling
                      »	punctuation
                      »	paragraphing
                      »	tenses.
                                      151
11	Practical guidelines
                          A few mistakes are inevitable but checking through your work should help you to
                          spot most of them.
                             Finally, make sure your writing is clearly legible – if you write a brilliant piece
                          that can’t be read, it won’t have the same impact.
               11.2  Writing the composition
                                                                                The main concern of those reading your
                                                                                work will be to assess how effectively
                                                                                you can convey your thoughts about
                                                                                your chosen topic using written Standard
                                                                                English. Your readers will want to be
                                                                                interested in what you have written. The
                                                                                more easily they can understand your
                                                                                ideas, the more effective your writing
                                                                                will be.
                                                                                   Always try to see your work from the
                                                                                reader’s point of view!
                                                         Expressing your ideas
                                                                                Remember that you will be assessed
                                                                                for how you have expressed your ideas
                                                                                as well as for what you have written.
                          Examinations test your ability to communicate in written English; they do not test
                          the level of your imagination and creativity.
                             Look back at Unit 4 for some basic reminders about how to structure your work
                          and keep the level of accuracy in your writing as high as possible. Below are a few
                          more guidelines that are particularly useful when writing compositions.
                   Use paragraphs logically
                          Make sure that your writing is divided into paragraphs and that the paragraphs are
                          logically developed.
                          »	 The opening paragraph should provide a valuable introduction, both to the topic
                             and to the person writing about it; it should set the tone for the composition and
                             make clear the direction it is going to take.
                          »	 The middle section of the composition should be clearly structured and logically
                             sequenced.
                          »	 Your conclusion should show evidence of being clearly planned for and the
                             composition should finish with a positive conclusion.
                          The more simply, the more clearly and the more precisely you communicate your
                          ideas to the reader, the better your piece of writing will be.
                   Write in complete sentences
                          While you are writing your composition, always try to think in complete sentences;
                          never start to write a sentence until you know how it is going to finish.
                             Make sure you use full stops to separate sentences correctly. Showing a secure
                          ability to separate sentences correctly will help you to organise your ideas, which
                          will make it easier for the reader to follow your writing.
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11.3  Features of a good composition
Take care with punctuation
A common error is to confuse the use of commas with the use of full stops.
Other serious punctuation errors result from misunderstandings about how to use
the apostrophe and how to use inverted commas to punctuate direct speech. Make
sure you know how to use these punctuation marks correctly and check them when
you have finished your composition.
Check your spelling
You will be penalised if you misspell, or confuse, basic vocabulary (there/their; too/
to/two; quite/quiet, etc.), or if you spell simple words in more than one incorrect
way.
  Nevertheless, you should not let your worries about spelling prevent you from
using what you know is the best word for the job. A reader will usually recognise the
word you intend to use, even if it is incorrectly spelt. Although it may be noted as a
spelling error, you are likely to be given credit for choosing and knowing how to use
the word in the first place.
  Look at Unit 9 to remind you about spelling.
Exercise 1
Here are 10 pairs of words that are frequently confused by students, especially
when writing compositions under examination conditions. Write short sentences
using each word in each pair correctly.
accept/except	allude/elude
altogether/all together	  clothes/cloths
conscience/conscious	elicit/illicit
hoard/horde	lightning/lightening
patience/patients	quiet/quite
11.3  Features of a good composition
You will be relieved to know that making a technical error does not automatically
ruin the success of your composition.
  As mentioned earlier, your composition will be judged by impression (a process in
which the reader balances the positive and negative qualities of your writing in his/
her mind in order to decide on the mark that should be awarded). The main positive
features for which you will be credited are:
1	 The ability to structure and organise your ideas clearly.
	 A well-controlled, well-developed composition with a positive opening and a
   strong conclusion will usually be well received.
2	 A wide range of appropriately used and precise vocabulary.
	 This does not mean that you should fill your composition with the longest and
   most complicated words you can think of. On the contrary, it means that you
   should have a clear understanding of what you are going to say and a good
   vocabulary, so that you can choose the right word to convey the exact shade of
   meaning that you want.
3	 A good range and variety of sentence types and structures.
	 A good range and variety of sentence types and structures helps to avoid
                                                                                                                                               153
11	Practical guidelines
Key terms                monotony in your writing. Try not to let every sentence take the same form, or to
                         begin each paragraph with sentences of the same pattern.
Monotony: Lack of     To do well in your composition you need to show evidence that you can handle
variety in tone and   complex sentences confidently. However, the ability to use short, simple, direct
sentence structures.  sentences when your composition requires it is also important. So, vary the length
                      and type of your sentences (compound, complex, simple) to suit your meaning.
Compound
sentence: A           11.4 But what do I write?
sentence consisting
of two or more        We have been concentrating on how rather than what to write. You may be
main clauses linked   wondering about content. Content is certainly important, but some students tend to
by coordinating       worry too much about it and create unnecessary problems for themselves. The main
conjunctions          points to remember are:
(e.g. The teacher     1	 Be realistic.
explained the         	 You do not have time to write a novel during an examination and you will not be
problem and then
gave the class a         expected to do so. So, don’t make things more difficult for yourself by trying to
practice exercise).      think of obscure or totally original ideas: the originality of your writing will be
                         found mainly in the way you express yourself.
                      2	 Keep it clear and simple.
                      	 What you write should be well planned, carefully structured and organised, and
                         clearly focused on the topic you have chosen. Your main intention should be to
                         think how best to use language to put across your ideas as clearly and as vividly
                         as you can. Keep what you write simple and manageable; base your content on
                         and within your own experience and you won’t go far wrong.
                      Exercise 2
                      English is rich in synonyms. A good writer will always try to choose the most
                      suitable word to convey a precise meaning. Write sentences for each of the words
                      in each of the groups below to show that you have understood the different shades
                      of meaning they contain.
                      1	 Sad; mournful; forlorn; gloomy; morose
                      2	 Difficult; demanding; intricate; painful; troublesome
                      3	 Speak; converse; mutter; proclaim; talk
                      4	 House; dwelling; habitat; home; mansion
                      11.5  Examples of students’ work
                      Here are three sample student compositions written under timed conditions. Read
                      them through carefully. You might like to think about how successful each is before
                      you read the teacher’s analysis that follows it. Example 1 is a narrative essay;
                      Example 2 is argumentative; and Example 3 is descriptive. All three essays are
                      followed by Teachers’ comments.
                        The original spellings and punctuation have been retained and major errors of
                      spelling, punctuation and expression have been indicated.
                        It is important to remember, however, that in an examination you will
                      be credited for positive merits of style, vocabulary and so on, as much as
                      penalised for errors.
                        For this reason, it is unlikely that every error made by a student would be
                      indicated and the marking of the following examples reflects this principle.
154
11.5  Examples of students’ work
a
                           Practice exercises
                                  Read through each of the compositions that follow and take note of the indications of
                                  errors that are noted. For at least one of the compositions complete the following tasks
                                  before reading the Teacher’s comments.
                                  •	 Write down the correct spelling of the words indicated as incorrect (if you are unsure of
                                      the correct spelling, use a dictionary to check).
                                  •	 Make sure that you understand why punctuation has been shown as being incorrect and
                                      write down a corrected version of the text containing the errors.
                                  •	 Write an explanation of why the expression has been indicated as incorrect in places and
                                      then write an improved/corrected version of what the writer intended to say.
                                  •	 Write one or two paragraphs commenting on the overall qualities of the composition –
                                      in particular, think about: how well it is structured through the use of paragraphs; the
                                      range and suitability of the vocabulary and sentence types used; the focus on the topic
                                      and the length of the composition (for example – has the writer spent too long on one
                                      idea with the result that the overall composition is unbalanced or has the writer tried to
                                      cram too many ideas into too few words?).
                                  •	 Once you’ve answered all these points, say what marks you think the composition
                                      deserves (good pass, pass, borderline, fail – you don’t need to be too precise!).
                                  •	 Finally, compare your comments with those of the teacher that follow the composition.
                           Example 1
                                  Write a story in which severe weather conditions play a significant part.
                                  Key
                                  Errors of expression
                                  Spelling/punctuation errors
                          Student’s example
                               The perpetual wailing of the Hawaiian winds was no novelty to the professor, a
                               veteran scientist whose name was renound in the field of meteorological studies.
                               Seated on a brown leather eighteenth-century chair, the hollow cries of wind
                               outside were a constant reminder that weather was supreme. Though the powerful
                               evening breeze could uproot the studiest of trees, however, it could not touch the
                               thin delicate clouds of smoke rising from Professor Dean’s pipe, a thought at
                                                                                                                                                                                      155
11	Practical guidelines
Wrong word (‘secret’)  which he could not suppress a smile. It was to him, ironic that he was the creator
        Repetition     of the ‘Typhoon Eye’, a secretive government project under his authority. Outside
                       the complexe, atop a remote mountain on the island of Waikiki, in the Hawaiian
        Humorous       Archipelago, the skies darkened as small droplets of cold rain began to fall on the
 156                   island from the heavens above. At sea, some distance away, a rumble of thunder
                       of thunder was heard, an omen of events to come.
                       Seated in his office, in serene relaxation, as thick smoke escaped from his lips,
                       a loud series of knocks at his door revived the tired Prof. Dean from his quasi-
                       slumber. ‘Come in’, he called with a bored tone of voice.
                       The hinges creaked with a dull sound as a tall, youthful figure entered in the
                       office clad in thick clothes and a clean white labcoat.
                       ‘Oh, what is it, my boy?’ inquired the professor without turning to face his guest.
                       ‘I just came to tell you, sir, that our guest from Washington is anxious to activate
                       the device’ replied the young assistant.
                       Are all preparations complete?’
                       ‘They are, sir.’
                       ‘Well then’, continued the arthritic, greying scientist, ‘I’ll be there shortly.’
                       With a nod, the youth left, carefully shutting the door as he egressed. Removing
                       his cashmere jumper and preparing to don more formal attire, Prof. Dean glanced
                       outside his window. He saw a tangled mass of tropical trees, swaying in the
                       wind. Evidently a hurricane of some sort was indeed approaching.
                       ‘Welcome to Command Central. Please Indentify yourself.’
                       Walking through the dimly lit corridoors as he was observed by the highly
                       disciplined guards which flanked the hallway, Prof. Dean reached into his pocket
                       and inserted his access card into a brightly-lit panel.
                       ‘Thank you, Professor Gordon H H Dean …’ replied the wall in a mechanistic
                       tone of voice. The thick titanium doors shuddered open. Walking through them,
                       he entered a new environment all together: at Command Central, several dozen
                       scientists and researchers were hastily preparing for the prototype test. Moving
                       back and forth between the project itself, a huge device named the ‘Typhoon Eye’
                       and the terminals of advanced computers which controlled it, the men moved with
                       almost robotic efficiency. No voice could clearly be heard, sideline conversations
                       and idle chattering darted chaotically across the room.
                       ‘Professor, you’re here at last!’ cried an enthusiastic diplomat seated some
                       distance away.
                       Emerging from the trance the mayhem of the room had caused him, Dean
                       recognised him as Murray Bunton, their liaison to Washington.
                       ‘We’re ready to activate the device!’ he said as the room fell silent.
                       After a brief pause, Dean moved towards the main control module and pressed the
                       large button labelled ‘BEGIN’.
11.5  Examples of students’ work
Effective short paragraph  Immediately the device shook and emitted many sounds.
                           Standing dumb in awed silence, the scientists let out a collective cheer.
                           ‘This is a great moment for mankind’, whispered Bunton, ‘Now, at last, men
                           control the weather! With this device, mankind can manipulate the elements to
                           our advantage!’
                           The atmosphere slowly ionised the surrounding area, releasing strange types of
                           energy in all directions.
                           After toasting to their success with glasses of Martini, the group retired for the
                           night, expecting a clear sky the next day.
                           Awoken from his sleep, Dean stumbled out of bed to replace his clothes. Looking
                           at his clock with sluggish, blood-shot eyes, it read five o’clock in the
                           morning.
                           ‘Hurry, Professor!’ came the voice again.
                           Rushing through the security doors, his eyes were greeted by a room of
                           haunting silence, the only sounds a series of murmurs from the main control
                           panel operators. Outside a terrifying clap of thunder roared across the ocean.
                           ‘What’s happened?’ inquired the professor, highly concerned despite his condition.
                           There he was told that far from dissipating the storms, Typhoon Eye had had the
                           reverse effect. Tropical cyclone ‘Lethea’ was now being drawn to Waikiki.
                           ‘How could this happen?’ demanded Bunton, still half-dressed.
                           Silence was his only reply.
                           Some time later the weather outside continued to worsen. The room was deserted, a
                           collection of empty chairs and dysfunctional machines with paper strewn all over
                           the floor. And of course, there was me, the youthful scientist who had summoned
                           the Professor to Command Central. I had stayed behind too, when offered a chance
                           to evacuate. I could not deny my own responsibility for this disaster.
                           Outside, the cyclone had once again grown in strength, and had wiped out
                           everything in the Hawaiian Islands.
                           The storm would remain here, its source of strength was this island, as it had
                           now been polarised and filled with this energy. The storm would grow, slowly but
                           surely gaining strength, eventually covering the entire planet.
                           Having gone to fetch some coffee, I heard a sudden gun shot, and a dull thud.
                           I collapsed in a corner and wept. I could not bear to see the professor’s corpse.
                           Outside, the storm began to tear the building apart. I would soon be dead. As the
                           outside breeze slowly infiltrated the room from holes in the roof, I pondered on
                           man’s underestimation of the wind. And now I realised that I had as well.
                           157
11	Practical guidelines
                          Teacher’s analysis
                               This composition is a long (946 words) but well-sustained narrative. This
                               is obviously written by a student who enjoys writing and has relished the
                               opportunity to entertain the reader. It opens forcefully, and immediately engages
                               the reader’s attention. The vocabulary is wide, varied, ambitious and fully
                               appropriate. The writer uses a good range of sentence structures and types: there
                               are well-controlled complex sentences, for example:
                               Outside the complex, atop a remote mountain on the island of Waikiki, in the
                               Hawaiian Archipelago, the skies darkened as small droplets of cold rain began to
                               fall on the island from the heavens above.
                               and some effectively used short, simple sentences, for example: ‘Silence was his
                               only reply.’
                               The writer has chosen to write a long and involved narrative and does so with
                               confidence. There is no doubt that this writer is consciously trying to impress
                               the reader with his/her mastery of the English language and he/she does so in
                               particular through a plentiful use of adjectives (‘The arthritic, greying scientist’)
                               and a deliberate use of literary language (‘Preparing to don more formal attire’),
                               although, in places, this approach is somewhat overdone. It is an extremely
                               confident piece of writing; there is a clear narrative flow which is emphasised by
                               the controlled use of long and short paragraphs for effect.
                               Direct speech is used convincingly and correctly punctuated, apart from
                               a tendency to misplace commas (‘ “This is a great moment for mankind”,
                               whispered Bunton’), and the writer is not afraid to risk a humorous touch
                               (‘replied the wall’). The composition is not without blemishes, both of spelling
                               (renound, complexe, studiest) and expression (‘Seated in his office … a loud
                               series of knocks’) but these weaknesses are very much the product of first-
                               draft writing and the writer’s ambition. They do not impede the reader’s
                               understanding and are more than compensated for by the composition’s many
                               merits, not least the way it remains clearly focused on the title throughout. The
                               story is original and well developed.
                               Perhaps the most disappointing part of the composition is the end: the writer
                               could obviously have written more had there been more time, but what is here is a
                               most impressive achievement for the limited time available, and it is likely that
                               this piece of writing would be assessed as a good top level response.
                          Example 2
                                  ‘The only worthwhile thing in life is going to parties.’ What are your views?
                          Student’s example
                               I reckon this statement is rubbish. Many factors influence me in beleiving this
                               way. As much as partying is fun it can equally be exhausting and unhealthy
                               in some cases. By, keeping on partying, you are causing a huge deteriaration in
158
11.5  Examples of students’ work
Two words not one  your health which could inturn be quite life threatening.
Two words not one  At the age of fi fteen, partying may seem the most worthwhile thing to do in life
Wrong word         as an adoloscent, but looking ahead to the future, it does indeed seem quite bleak
Two words not one  for someone partying all the time at this age.
                   A student that party’s all day is certainly not going to get good marks in their
                   examination, and this inturn will refl ect upon the student’s causes. A bit of
                   common sense     and   atwhearmenaeinssoobfje✓tchteivpereisseantttshiitsupaotiinont  is  all that is needed to
                   realise exactly  what                                                                of  our lives. Studies should
                   unduly be the priority right now. Ofcourse socialising is another aspect of life
                   that is quite important as inter-personal communications and relationships
                   could   bceomdemmiatmndeendtsalhlaovuertloivovese,rsbhuat✓dioswitorueralwlyhotlhe efuprtiuorreitiynrfirgohnttnofowu?s?DIo wouour ld
                   social
                   say not. When the time comes to party, you can party but it is definitely not the
                   only worthwhile thing in life at the adoloscent age of fifteen.
                   Opinattrhetelylreitcnhtgu✓anawloltyuhelndhubemaeljtbohywffoauucllt.doBrsuaatnyodnthtlhyaetseiodtmuisceaotnhtieeonOwNhfaoLcYitsowre,iotIrhwtehorwuphledirliebpehtlhe✓irienavleglytthoabdltionidnolrife.
                   How many years will you party for? Is it going to get you anywhere in life? I
                   would’nt think so. ‘Going to parties’ may seem as ‘fun’ at the time but in the
                   long term, I really doubt as to how far in life it is really going to help you.
                   Also, most parties occur during nights and drag on till midnight or past. This
                   will be a huge drain of energy from the party goer’s part. It is definitely worth it
                   at the time, but the after-effects are rather disturbing and uncomfortable.
                   Is it really worth wasting your whole life that way? Especially at this age,
                   I would reckon, that it is much more of a use to prioritise as to what is
                   worthwhile now, now instead of regretting it in the future.
                   Teacher’s analysis
                   This composition begins with a forceful and unambiguous opening which is
                   expressed directly but is not entirely appropriate in its tone of voice: ‘I reckon
                   this statement is rubbish.’ As the composition develops, it becomes clear that the
                   writing is poorly organised.
                   The writer possesses quite a wide vocabulary, but it is not always used with
                   precision (‘Studies should unduly be the priority right now.’). The word the
                   student should have used is ‘undoubtedly’ or ‘indubitably’.
                   Some statements, which sound linguistically quite impressive if read
                   superficially (‘inter-personal communications and relationships could be
                   demanded all our lives’) do not make clear sense on closer reading.
                                                                                                                                                        159
11	Practical guidelines
                               The development of the writer’s argument is uncertain and lacking in cohesion;
                               the ideas, although potentially interesting, are underdeveloped. The end of the
                               penultimate paragraph is a good example of this; more details could have been
                               included as to how the after-effects are disturbing and uncomfortable – the
                               writer’s meaning has not been made entirely clear to the reader.
                               There are several technical errors of spelling (beleiving, alchoholic, adoloscent)
                               and expression (‘ “Going to parties” may seem as fun.’). The inappropriate tone
                               of the opening sentence has already been referred to and this over-colloquial
                               approach appears at other points throughout the writing, where it sits rather
                               inconsistently with some over-formal expressions (‘Many factors influence me’),
                               with the result that the work lacks a clear focus on the audience.
                               The reader is required to re-read paragraphs to understand fully what the writer
                               is trying to say, with the result that communication becomes blurred. The whole
                               of the third paragraph is a good example of this.
                               This piece of writing is an ambitious attempt but, in this case, the writer lacks
                               the linguistic security to communicate the ideas clearly. The ending is also
                               disappointing as the writer has run out of time and has not managed to produce
                               a satisfactory conclusion. This student has made a fundamental mistake: he/
                               she has chosen to write a difficult type of composition (an argumentative one)
                               and has made the task harder than it need be. Had he/she chosen a descriptive
                               or narrative topic, the outcome would most probably have been more successful,
                               as less time would have had to be spent on constructing arguments and more
                               time would have been available to concentrate on making the most of the writer’s
                               positive merits of vocabulary. The material which was written is a less than
                               successful attempt at the topic.
                          Example 3
                                  You are in a place which makes you feel uncomfortable. Describe the place, and your
                                  feelings and reactions.
                          Student’s example
                               ‘No, please, do not tell her that. I would not want to make fear and unnatural
                               horror the inmates of her heart.’ This incomplete sentence had sent shivers up my
                               spine and, as I lay on the freshly made guesthouse bed, I wondered if the room
                               concealed some sort of gruesome secret which the guesthouse owner didn’t want
                               the receptionist to reveal. Was it haunted? Did someone die here? The words had
                               alarmed me but I decided that I was a girl of courage and wouldn’t bend beneath
                               mere words.
                               The room was small and quiet, at the end of the guesthouse hallway. It had
                               a musty smell, like the smell of a page in an old book. I found the smell
                               intriguing at first, and thought that it added to the mysterious aura of the
                               place. The room’s walls were of a brilliant peach colour and there was a glittering
                               chandelier at the very centre of the ceiling – but the rest was bereft of any
160
11.5  Examples of students’ work
characteristic furniture or accessories, except for the large double bed and a
wooden-framed mirror. The windows were large and the Verdigris-caked latches
made me wonder if the room had ever been used – is that what they were hiding
from me? What had happened in here that they did not want me to know about?
I opened the windows to let some fresh air in, hoping it would clear my mind
which was replete with questions and confusion. The outlook was amazing – I
could see the garden from my room, and gazing upon the well-watered, emerald
green lawn quietened my thoughts for a moment. I turned back to the room and
noticed something peculiar on one of the gables – some dark, viscous liquid was
dripping down the wall. I moved closer to investigate – is it blood? I wondered. I
felt the liquid with my fingers; it was not blood; it smelt sweet and I thought it
was maple syrup or molasses. I chuckled at my fears and licked it off my index
finger. The familiar, coppery taste was, however, unmistakable – it really was
blood! I turned back from the corner and saw that the walls were now covered in
the same dark liquid, the taste of which still swirled in my mouth.
I rushed to the door and tried to open it but it simply wouldn’t budge. I feared
what I would see when I turned back and faced the room would paralyse me and
so I closed my eyes and, using my hands as a guide, I walked to the bed as my
heart thudded in my chest. I opened my eyes and felt the colour drain away from
my face. The room was as if in mint condition –; the blood, the gables – there was
no sign of the dark liquid that had flowed minutes before except for the crust
around my fingers and the unforgettable coppery taste.
                                                                                                                                           161
11	Practical guidelines
Key terms             Teacher’s analysis
Argumentative:        This is an extremely competent piece of descriptive writing, with no serious errors of
Argumentative         spelling or punctuation. Although this is a descriptive topic, the writer has taken a
writing is when a     narrative approach and this has helped with the structure and focus of the account.
writer puts forward   Setting a piece of descriptive writing within a narrative framework can very often
and justifies a       result in the needs of the story taking over from the requirement to describe but this
particular point of   writer has concentrated closely on the requirements of the question – to describe
view, either for or   both the place and the narrator’s feelings and reaction to it – and has been very
against a proposal.   successful in doing so.
Discursive: In
discursive writing    The opening snatch of dialogue effectively prepares the reader for the sense of
the purpose may       mystery which is soon to develop. The careful choice of descriptive details in the
be to convince        opening paragraphs (the ‘musty smell, like the pages in an old book’; ‘the Verdigris-
or persuade the       caked’ window latches) effectively complement the direct questions through which
reader about          the writer conveys the thoughts and reactions of the narrator (‘Was it haunted?’; ‘Is
the importance        that what they were hiding from me?’). The vocabulary is precise and aptly chosen
of a particular       without being over-ambitious or obscure (the ‘familiar coppery taste’), punctuation
belief or simply to   is used skilfully to control the reader’s response to events (for example, dashes are
present all sides     well used to emphasise and draw attention to key details), and the writer varies
of an argument        sentence structures and pace to engage the reader and increase the tension.
by comparing or
contrasting two       Overall, this is a very good piece of writing. Perhaps the mystery with which the
or more things        description concludes could have been developed with a little more detail which
or by presenting      would have reinforced the surprise effect, but it must be remembered that this was a
arguments for or      response written under timed conditions and this is an acceptable blemish in what
against the topic.    is a very well written response.
162                  11.6  Practise writing a composition
                     Now that you have looked at some sample student compositions, here are some
                     titles which you can use for practice. To help you, we have indicated next to each
                     topic whether it is narrative, descriptive or argumentative. (In some cases, you will
                     notice, the same topic could lend itself to more than one approach.) Two of the
                     topics are discursive, which means you can approach the question in any way you
                     choose.
                     Exercise 3
                     1		 ‘Television is a bad influence; it stops people thinking and ruins family life.’
                          What are your views about the value of television? (Argumentative)
                     2		 Which is your favourite day of the week and why? (Descriptive)
                     3		 Write a story beginning with the words ‘The noise was growing louder and
                          louder,’ and ending ‘And then there was silence.’ (Narrative)
                     4		 What have you taught yourself that is not taught at your school?
                          (Argumentative/Descriptive)
                     5		 Do we spend too much time watching sports instead of playing them?
                          (Argumentative)
                     6		 Describe a place you know well at two different times of the day. (Descriptive)
                     7		 ‘Castles in the air’. Write in any way you like about this topic. (Discursive)
11.6  Practise writing a composition
                     8		 Write a story called ‘The Empty House’. (Narrative)
                     9		 ‘Decisions’. Write in any way you like about this topic. (Discursive)
                     10	 What do you think are the greatest challenges facing young people today?
                          (Argumentative)
                     11	 Describe your favourite shop and some of the people who work there.
                          (Descriptive)
                     12	 ‘A Journey I Will Never Forget’. (Narrative)
                           Study tip
                           You can plan your compositions in different ways. For example, you can produce a straightforward
                           skeleton plan or use a spider diagram. Examples of both types of plans are shown below – they
                           relate to the first two questions in the list above.
                           Don’t feel that you should always plan your writing using the same type of plan – you may well
                           find that a skeleton plan is best suited to an argumentative essay where points follow each other
                           in a logical order, and a spider diagram is more suited to a descriptive essay where you are taking
                           a more impressionistic approach to the topic.
                           You could use these example plans as the basis for writing your own practice composition, and
                           then as models for writing your own plans for other compositions. Remember, the points in each
                           plan should provide you with the topic sentences for your paragraphs. It is up to you to add the
                           details which make the paragraphs interesting!
              Examples of composition plans
                    Skeleton plan for Question 1: ‘Television is a bad influence; it stops
                    people thinking and ruins family life.’ What are your views about the value
                    of television?
Introduction: General comments on TV; its popularity, ubiquity; it is now a focal point in most
households; it has become a major part of our lives.
Points against: It stops conversation and limits communication among people; it can cause
family arguments over what to watch; it stops families doing more constructive things together;
many of the most popular programmes are superficial; it is very easy to become addicted to
certain programmes (soap operas, etc.) with the result that studies take a back seat; it tells you
what to think.
Points for: It provides company for people who are on their own; it brings news and sporting
events direct into the home and allows you to feel as though you are present at them even if they
are on the other side of the world; it has some educational value – in fact, something can be learnt
from most programmes; it can develop and refine one’s analytical powers; it provides a ready
topic of conversation with your friends.
Conclusion: Sum up the main points made above, refer to my own experience and that of friends
and state conclusion about how much truth I think there is in the topic statement.
                                                                                                                                                                             163
11	Practical guidelines
                          Spider diagram plan for Question 2: Which is your favourite day of the week
                          and why?
                       Unit summary
                             In this unit you have reviewed the objectives:
                             •	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
                             •	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
                             •	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
                             •	 use register appropriate to context
                             •	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
164
12	 Written coursework
In this unit you will:
Writing to discuss, argue and/or persuade
H	 demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
H	 demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
H	 analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate
   support from the text
H	 select and use information for specific purposes
H	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
H	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
H	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
H	 use register appropriate to context
H	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
This unit will focus on the following skills for writing to discuss, argue and/or
persuade:
Reading
H	 demonstrate understanding of written texts, and of the words and phrases
   within them
H	 summarise and use material for a specific context
H	 develop, analyse and evaluate facts, ideas and opinions
H	 demonstrate understanding of how writers achieve their effects and
   influence readers
H	 select appropriate information for specific purposes
H	 recognise and respond to linguistic devices, including figurative language.
Writing
H	 express what is thought, felt and imagined
H	 organise and convey facts, ideas and opinions effectively
H	 demonstrate a varied vocabulary appropriate to the context
H	 demonstrate an effective use of sentence structures
H	 demonstrate an understanding of audience, purpose and form
H	 demonstrate accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.
Descriptive and narrative writing
H	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
H	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
H	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
H	 use register appropriate to context
H	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
This unit will focus on the following skills for descriptive and narrative writing:
Writing
H	 express what is thought, felt and imagined                  165
H	 organise and convey facts, ideas and opinions effectively
H	 demonstrate a varied vocabulary appropriate to the context
H	 demonstrate an effective use of sentence structures
H	 demonstrate an understanding of audience, purpose and form
H	 demonstrate accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.
12	 Written coursework
               12.1  Why do coursework?
                          The IGCSE First Language English Coursework component allows you to write
                          for different purposes and at greater length than that required by an externally
                          examined component, in which you are expected to write under the specific
                          conditions described in Unit 11.
                             With this type of writing you have the opportunity to plan and check your work,
                          and you can draft and redraft the piece of writing. You can be sure that, at the end
                          of the process, your work is as good as you can possibly make it. Remember that for
                          all your writing, you will need to show that you can:
                          »	 Articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined.
                          »	 Organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect.
                          »	 Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context.
                          »	 Use register appropriate to context.
                          »	 Make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                          You might also need to respond to or use other texts. If this is the case, you need
                          to apply your reading skills and show you can:
                          »	 Demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings.
                          »	 Demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes.
                          »	 Analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate
                             support from the text.
                          »	 Select and use information for specific purposes.
                   What do you have to do?
                          The syllabus requirements for the Coursework portfolio (Component 3) for Cambridge
                          IGCSE® First Language English are that students submit a portfolio of three
                          assignments, each of about 500–800 words. The assignments may be completed in
                          any order and are extended pieces of writing, which allow you to demonstrate your
                          range of writing skills. These might include:
                          »	 A piece of writing to discuss, argue and/or persuade, in response to a specific
                             text. You will be required to respond by selecting, analysing and evaluating the
                             content of the text(s). This type of assignment would also test your reading skills.
                          »	 A piece of descriptive writing.
                          »	 A piece of narrative writing.
                          Now let’s consider the requirements.
                   Length
                          This type of writing task often gives you a suggested word count to help guide your
                          writing.
                             Remember that the word count is a guide, and you may decide to write fewer
                          words. Your pieces of writing need to be as long as is necessary to complete the task
                          and to demonstrate your range of writing skills. The quality of a piece of writing is
                          not judged by its length; in fact, writing that has started well can sometimes lose
                          its effectiveness and get worse the longer it goes on.
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12.2  Assignment 2: The descriptive piece
  Note              Coursework assignments
Examples of         In daily life we write for a variety of reasons. The assignments you’ll write in class
similar and         will reflect the reality of how writing is used in everyday life and check your ability
different types of  to write for different purposes and for different audiences.
writing can also
be found in Unit      When writing an extended composition, remember to think about:
11.                 »	 Whom am I writing for in each piece?
                    »	 What is the purpose of each piece?
                    »	 Am I choosing pieces that are different from each other?
                    The first part of this unit contains advice for writing descriptions and narratives,
                    exemplar passages for both types of writing and examples produced by students.
                      The teacher’s annotations and comments on the students’ work are printed in
                    red, and the teacher’s overall analysis is printed in blue. The analysis of each piece
                    includes an indication of the level the work is at, so that you can see how the
                    different strengths and weaknesses in the writing can have an effect on the mark.
                      The remainder of the unit gives examples of the sort of reading material that
                    could be used as a basis for responding to a specific question or task, and some
                    suggestions for the sorts of texts that could develop from it.
                      In the samples that follow, there are examples of:
                    »	 writing to describe
                    »	 narrative writing.
                    As you make a start on your own coursework, consider these along with all the other
                    ideas that have been mentioned and decide on your own way forward.
                      The following section is included to help you prepare for extended written
                    activities and gives you the opportunity to practise writing on the same topic for
                    different audiences and in different genres.
                    12.2  Assignment 2: The descriptive piece
                    Descriptive writing tasks can cover a wide range of topics, such as places, buildings,
                    events, a person or animal, occasions such as a family celebration.
                      The important thing to keep in mind when producing descriptive writing is to
                    focus on describing the subject and not writing a story about it. For example, a
                    description of a family celebration should focus on describing the appearance and
                    behaviour of the guests, the room in which the celebration was held, and so on. You
                    should not make an account of what happened at the celebration the main element
                    of what you write.
                      Here are some key points to remember when you are writing to describe:
                    »	 Always try to base what you are describing on your personal knowledge; you cannot
                       give a clear picture of your subject to the reader unless you have a clear picture in
                       your own mind. However, you are in control of what you are writing and you can
                       change and distort details deliberately to create a particular impression.
                    »	 You need to decide on your standpoint before beginning to write: are you going
                       to write from a first-person viewpoint or are you going to adopt a more general,
                       impersonal approach? Once you have decided, be consistent throughout this piece
                       of writing.
                    »	 How are you going to structure your description? For example, you could take a
                       geographical approach and describe the scene from left to right, or from distant
                       to close at hand. You could decide to describe the subject at different times of
                                                                                                                                                                   167
12	 Written coursework
Key term                 the day, or you could work through the different senses of sight, hearing, touch,
                         smell, taste. Whichever you choose, try to make the links between the different
Verb: A word used        sections of your structure seem natural and not too mechanical.
to convey an action,  »	 Don’t try to include every little detail which comes into your mind; be selective. If
state of being or        you overload your description with details, your reader may well become confused.
occurrence and        »	 Keep your reader clearly in mind at all times; you may know the person or place
forming the heart        you are describing very well but it is unlikely that your reader will. It helps if you
of a sentence; for       provide some brief context in which to set your description.
example, ‘The boy     »	 Although your main purpose is to give a clear impression of your subject matter
ate the cake’,; ‘The     to the reader, remember that it will make your writing more interesting if
caterpillar became a     you come over as an interesting and reliable witness to it. You can do this by
butterfly’.              including your own opinions and feelings about your subject. These feelings can
                         be conveyed very effectively by the words you use – it is not always necessary to
                         state your feelings directly.
                      »	 Although it is very tempting to write impressionistic descriptions by using
                         non-sentences, it is important that you use this technique selectively and use
                         complete sentences as well to show that the non-sentences are being used
                         deliberately for stylistic effect. If the whole description contains no verbs at all,
                         it just looks as if you do not know how to write!
                      Tips for descriptive writing
                      Adjectives
                      Adjectives are words that qualify (or describe) a noun.
                        As important tools for descriptive writing they should be chosen carefully. For
                      example, you can convey different shades of meaning depending on the adjectives
                      you use. To say, ‘My grandfather is an energetic, carefree man’ has quite a different
                      meaning from saying, ‘My grandfather is a thoughtful, careful man’. However, use
                      adjectives sparingly; too many of them can have the effect of slowing down your
                      writing for the person reading it.
                      Verbs
                      Verbs are words which express action or a state of being (for example, ‘he ran very
                      fast’; ‘he became angry’).
                        A verb is the most important word in a sentence and well-chosen verbs can
                      significantly increase the force and focus of your description. For example, consider the
                      different impressions given by the verb in each of these sentences: ‘The teacher strode
                      into the room.’ ‘The teacher crept into the room.’ ‘The teacher stormed into the room.’
                      Adverbs
                      Adverbs are words which modify (or add to the meaning of) verbs and, again, are
                      valuable tools in giving a precise description.
                        Consider the way the sense of the sentences below is affected by the use of
                      different adverbs: ‘The teacher strode purposefully into the room.’ ‘The teacher crept
                      cautiously into the room.’ ‘The teacher stormed furiously into the room.’
                      Similes
                      Similes are comparisons in which one thing is said to be like another and are
                      introduced by the words like or as. For example, ‘The swans glided on the water like
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12.3  Example of descriptive writing
stately sailing ships’; ‘the maths teacher had a face like a dried prune’. Both of these
similes make the description more vivid and the second also adds a slight touch of
humour to the writing.
  Remember, if you use similes, there must be a clear point of comparison between the
two parts of the description and it is important that the comparison does not undermine
the effect you want to create. In a sentence like ‘The garden was as peaceful as a
graveyard’, the comparison with a graveyard implies that the garden was a rather cold
and deserted place which, judging from the pleasant word ‘peaceful’, is probably not the
impression the writer wanted to give; the atmosphere has become confused. Remember
also that it is important that you try to choose similes that are original and alive.
  Comparisons such as ‘he ran like the wind’ and ‘fit as a fiddle’ have been used so much
that they have lost any vitality and mean no more than ‘he ran very quickly’ and ‘very fit’.
Such tired comparisons are known as cliches and a good writer will try to avoid them at
all costs.
Metaphors
Metaphors are comparisons in which one thing is expressed in terms of another –
in effect, a metaphor is a concentrated simile. They are an effective way to give
immediacy to your descriptive writing.
  For example, ‘the rain fell like a waterfall’ is a simile, whereas ‘the waterfall of
rain washed away the soil’ is a metaphor. In it the rain becomes a waterfall rather
than the writer just saying it is like one, and the reader immediately associates both
ideas in their mind.
  As with using similes in your writing, it is important that you make sure that the
metaphors you choose are both original and have clear points of comparison.
12.3  Example of descriptive writing
In the following passage, the writer describes the home and inhabitants of a Berber
family living in Tunisia. (The Berbers are the descendants of some of the earliest
inhabitants of North Africa.)
  Keep in mind the key points about writing to describe found earlier in this unit
and note down examples of them in this passage. In particular, consider the way the
writer has included details to highlight his description.
El Haddej                                                It’s some 30 metres long, and smells of fur and dung.
                                                         At its darkest point I run slap into a donkey, which
There is one cave which is still occupied and rents out  is quietly munching away at some straw. Emerging
rooms, or cavities, perhaps.                             into the soft grey light of a courtyard, I see an elderly
The only entrance is through a dimly lit tunnel.         man and two women waiting to welcome me. The
                                                         man’s name is Bilgessou. He stands straight-backed,
                                                         wearing a fine red skullcap and a knee-length brown
                                                         overcoat, his bearing matching a military-style silver
                                                         moustache. Next to him, in brightly coloured Berber
                                                         stripes, are his wife Manoubia and their daughter
                                                         Jemila. They stand almost motionless, like a tableau
                                                         waiting to be photographed.
                                                         After we have introduced ourselves, they pull aside a
                                                         palm wood door and usher me into a side room
                                                                                                                    169
12	 Written coursework
off the courtyard. The roof is a low, smoke-stained       preserving the troglodyte way of life, except for the
vault, lit by a single bulb (there is electricity here,   tourists. He extends an arm towards his wife. She has
but water has to be fetched from the well). Bilgessou     never left El Haddej in her life. She can’t be expected
sets to work making tea on a calor gas stove, Jemila      to change just like that.
sits down, revealing a bright and well-holed pair of
yellow stockings, and she and her mother set to work      I’m handed a biscuit and a cotton cloth to put on my
rubbing the skins off peanuts and dropping them in        knee to catch the crumbs.
a bowl. A rangy black and white cat appears from
the depths of the cave, is shooed away but holds its      Anyway, he goes on, these troglodyte houses make
ground, eyeing the preparations.                          sense. They’re safe and secure, warm in winter and
                                                          cool in summer. The soft rock is easy to excavate, and,
Once the tea has been made and poured, as it is           unlike the timber round here, there’s plenty of it.
throughout the Sahara, with a flourish from as far
above the glass as possible, Bilgessou takes the bowl     When he stops, the silence returns, thick and heavy,
of nuts and scatters them on to a roasting tray, which    deadened by the weight of the earth around us.
he lays on the fire. Most of this is done in silence, as
none of them speak French and I don’t speak Arabic,       They show me my room. It’s across the courtyard
but Jemila has a sweet understanding smile and            and up a flight of irregular stone steps, cut from the
somehow it doesn’t feel wrong to be silent.               clay. The coffin-shaped entrance has decorated stone
                                                          dressings and inside is a vaulted space, some 6 metres
However, once the first glass of tea has been taken,      deep, with just enough room to stand straight at its
Bilgessou begins to talk, in a powerful voice, with a     centre. The walls have been plastered and painted
lot of barking, back-of-the-throat sounds.                white at some time, but that’s faded now. A mattress
                                                          is laid along one side where the wall slopes down
The young don’t want to live in the caves anymore, he     quite sharply. Dangerous if you wake suddenly in the
says. They’re moving above ground, tempted away by        night.
ready-made houses in New Matmata. The authorities
don’t understand. They’ve shown little interest in                                         Source: Sahara by Michael Palin,
                                                                                                  Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 2002
     12.4  Example of a student’s descriptive
            writing
           You find yourself in a crowd of strangers. Describe your thoughts and feelings.
        Crowds are strange. People are brought together by violence, music, sports or even
        loneliness. Crowds are beautiful, powerful, dangerous, destructive. Crowds come
        together in peace, like ants who come to gather for an annual feast but disperse
        almost immediately at any sign of danger.
        I am alone in a crowd. There are people all around me of every age, race, religion,
        gender and size. They are dancing to the loud thumping beat of the music, the
        music I can feel rattling my bones, forcing me to move, but I don’t want to move
        because I am alone. I weave through the crowd, worm my way out of any harmful
        situation. Dancing with a stranger would be a fine example. I stand with my
        back against the cool wall, the music being the only sign of being alive. My
        heart stays still for the most part, thump, thump, silent, thump, thump, silent.
        The crowd is unaware of me, the crowd doesn’t care. Youth has never been very
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12.5  Assignment 3: The narrative piece
                        kind to me, the crowd still scares me. Behind my eyelids I see a spectrum of neon
                        colours, similar to that of the dancefloor lighting but not as vibrant.
                        It’s odd, I think, the people around me are alive and welcoming but I don’t want
                        their warm touch. I open my eyes again, blink, blink, flash. I make eye contact
                        with a bright haired, bright eyed person from across the room. This person is not
                        dancing, but alive; I can see it, feel it. The stranger flashes me a bright white
                        smile and I wonder, did my heart just beat on its own?
                        The crowd is becoming blurry, there is no sign of danger, I just forgot about them
                        for a bit. The stranger weaves towards me through the fading crowd. The stranger,
                        unlike me, is not hiding away, but moving forward, to me.
                        My heart goes thump, thump, faster and not to the beat of the music. I am not
                        in danger and the stranger is getting closer, a sincere smile still etched on
                        their face. The lights, I now see, are brighter, more vibrant. The crowd is loud,
                        but I hear the quiet. The stranger is in my field of vision, right in front of me.
                        Thump, thump. I feel a small smile surface and the stranger laughs. Bright hair,
                        bright eyes and a bright white smile. The stranger says a quiet, ‘Hey’ and it’s
                        the loudest sound in the room. I am no longer alone in the crowd. I am my own
                        crowd.
Key terms                Teacher’s comment: A high level response. Well focused on the topic and fluently
                         and accurately expressed.
First-person
narrative: A story       Teacher’s analysis: This is a very well written and confident description. The writer
which is narrated        has used a narrative structure as suggested by the wording of the task but has
by one character         clearly focused in on describing the feelings of the narrator. The use of the present
describing the           tense is very well handled as this is an approach that can be rather clumsy in the
events and thoughts      hands of a less competent writer. The vocabulary used is precise and very clearly
that she/he              conveys the narrator’s sense of insecurity amid the surroundings. Their writing
experiences and          is almost entirely accurate and short sentences are very well used for effect – there
distinguished by the     could, perhaps, be a little more variation of sentence types and length, but this
use of I or We.          student is clearly a highly competent writer.
Third-person            12.5  Assignment 3: The narrative piece
narrative: A form
of storytelling in      Writing narrative texts
which a narrator
relates all the action  Narrative standpoint
using third-person
pronouns such as        Before starting your story, you need to decide if you are going to write using a first-
he or she. A third-     person or third-person narrative. Remember, a first-person narrative does not have
person narrative        to be truly from the narrator’s own life, so a writer can use a first-person narrator
allows a narrator to    where there is no intention of being autobiographical. It is just as likely that the
know the thoughts       writer will have invented the character who is telling the story and imagined the
and feelings of all of  situations he or she experiences.
the characters in a
story.                    Choosing to tell a story through a first-person narrator can have many advantages.
                        It means that the story will be told through the words and experiences of a single
                                                                                                                                                                       171
12	 Written coursework
                          character (‘I’) but that the events described can, therefore, only be those in which
                          this character is in some way involved.
                             This approach has the advantage of allowing the reader to identify and
                          sympathise with the narrator quickly and closely and allows the writer to explain
                          the narrator’s thoughts and motivations directly. However, it is important for a
                          writer to be consistent in this approach and not to spoil the continuity of the
                          story by including incidents about which the narrator knows nothing, or which are
                          impossible.
                             A third-person narrative is when the writer chooses to describe the events in a
                          story from an impersonal viewpoint – the narrator has an overall, objective approach
                          to describing what happens and what characters are thinking, by using third-person
                          pronouns (he, she, they) or the characters’ names.
                             Such an approach allows the narrator to show a complete understanding of all
                          that happens to all the characters involved in the story – this is sometimes referred
                          to as an omniscient narrative approach – and perhaps allows for greater complexity
                          of structure than by using a first-person approach. Both types of narrative can be
                          used very effectively when writing a story.
                             Constructing a convincing and original story is not an easy task. Many students
                          fall into the trap of doing little more than reproducing a half-remembered and not
                          fully relevant story that they have read somewhere before. Writing a short story for
                          your own interest as a coursework assignment can be a very enjoyable and rewarding
                          activity, but to do it well requires much thought and preparation.
                   Tips for narrative writing
                          1	 Try not to make your story too complicated; remember it is a short story and it is
                             a good idea to keep the events tightly focused. You need to engage your readers
                             immediately and ensure that they stay interested throughout. Too complicated
                             a plot is likely to lead to readers becoming unsure of what is happening – and
                             there’s always the danger that you might lose track of your ideas yourself!
                          2	 Try to keep the content of your story to events which are or could be within your
                             own experience. It is much more difficult to write convincingly about things
                             that you do not know. This applies especially to the setting of the story and the
                             situations in which you place the characters. However, there is nothing wrong
                             with taking details of two different places that you know and combining them
                             in such a way that you produce a new, fictional town or village as the setting for
                             your story. Writing a narrative is a difficult task and you don’t want to complicate
                             things further by trying to create a completely imaginary landscape, for example.
                          3	 Try to break up long sections of narrative with passages of direct speech.
                             Remember that direct speech can be an effective way of lightening a lengthy
                             narrative and can speed up the passing on of information to the reader. However,
                             writing direct speech effectively needs care and thought – you need to be
                             selective about what you decide to put into it and be fully confident in your
                             ability to punctuate it correctly.
                          4	 Remember that there are only a limited number of potential plots and situations
                             for any story that you choose to write – it is important that what you write
                             reflects your individuality, but that can best be conveyed in the way you write.
                          5	 Tone/register: The tone and register you use in your story will help to convey
                             the atmosphere of the story and, in the case of a first-person narrator, the
                             character and personality of the person telling the story. This is another means
                             by which key points can be communicated to the reader in an economical way.
172
12.6  Example of narrative writing
                         The vocabulary and syntax used by the narrator of the story are also effective
                         means of establishing character, and the words used may also help to suggest the
                         atmosphere of the events you are describing.
                      6	 Conclusion: It may sound silly, but the first thing you plan should be your ending.
                         Before you start writing you must know where and how you are going to finish.
                         When you plan the events of your story make sure that you have a clear picture of
                         how you intend it to conclude. It is up to you whether you want to tie up all the
                         loose ends of your story or whether you intend deliberately to leave your readers
                         guessing what may happen next. Both approaches are perfectly acceptable, but it
                         is important that you, as the writer, have planned for them – they may, of course,
                         come as a complete surprise to the reader!
Key term              12.6  Example of narrative writing
Genre: A category     Here is a complete story, by one of the masters of the genre. It is short but it very
of literature: play,  cleverly does all the things that a short story needs to do. It has a number of the
novel, short story,   features of a short story that you might want to think about using in your own
etc.                  writing:
                      »	 It has a good opening which leads you to want to read on as questions are left
                         hanging: what practical joke will the narrator suffer at the hands of his friends?
                         Will there, in fact, be any joke played on him?
                      »	 It develops the situation effectively through direct recounting of the narrator’s
                         thoughts, ‘I was watchful, restless. I did not let a word or a meaning or a gesture
                         escape me’, ‘I was going perhaps to receive a cold shower-bath from overhead’.
                      »	 It leaves us wondering what the outcome will be, right up to the very end of the
                         story. However, even at this point we are still left wondering if there is more to
                         come and, now that the narrator is feeling secure, whether his friends will finally
                         play the practical joke which he thinks he has avoided.
An Uncomfortable Bed
by Guy de Maupassant
One autumn I went to stay for the hunting season with some friends in a chateau in Picardy.
My friends were fond of practical joking, as all my friends are. I do not care to know any other sort of people.
When I arrived, they gave me a princely reception, which at once aroused distrust in my breast. We had some
capital shooting. They embraced me, they cajoled me, as if they expected to have great fun at my expense.
I said to myself:
‘Look out, old ferret! They have something in preparation for you.’
During the dinner, the mirth was excessive, far too great, in fact. I thought: ‘Here are people who take a double
share of amusement, and apparently without reason. They must be looking out in their own minds for some
good bit of fun. Assuredly I am to be the victim of the joke. Attention!’
During the entire evening, everyone laughed in an exaggerated fashion. Instinctively, I smelled a practical joke
in the air. But what was it? I was watchful, restless. I did not let a word or a meaning or a gesture escape me.
Everyone seemed to me an object of suspicion, and I even looked distrustfully at the faces of the servants.
                                                                                                                   173
12	 Written coursework
   The hour rang for going to bed, and the whole household came to escort me to my room. Why? They called to
   me: ‘Good night.’ I entered the apartment, shut the door, and remained standing, without moving a single step,
   holding the wax candle in my hand.
   I heard laughter and whispering in the corridor. Without doubt they were spying on me. I cast a glance around
   the walls, the furniture, the ceiling, the hangings, the floor. I saw nothing to justify suspicion. I heard persons
   moving about outside my door. I had no doubt they were looking through the keyhole.
   An idea came into my head: ‘My candle may suddenly go out, and leave me in darkness.’
   Then I went across to the mantelpiece, and lighted all the wax candles that were on it. After that, I cast
   another glance around me without discovering anything. I advanced with short steps, carefully examining the
   apartment. Nothing. I inspected every article one after the other. Still nothing. I went over to the window. The
   shutters, large wooden shutters, were open. I shut them with great care, and then drew the curtains, enormous
   velvet curtains, and I placed a chair in front of them, so as to have nothing to fear from without.
   Then I cautiously sat down. The armchair was solid. I did not venture to get into the bed. However, time was
   flying; and I ended by coming to the conclusion that I was ridiculous. If they were spying on me, as I supposed,
   they must, while waiting for the success of the joke they had been preparing for me, have been laughing
   enormously at my terror. So I made up my mind to go to bed. But the bed was particularly suspicious-looking. I
   pulled at the curtains. They seemed to be secure. All the same, there was danger. I was going perhaps to receive
   a cold shower-bath from overhead, or perhaps, the moment I stretched myself out, to find myself sinking under
   the floor with my mattress. I searched in my memory for all the practical jokes of which I ever had experience.
   And I did not want to be caught. Ah! Certainly not! Certainly not! Then I suddenly bethought myself of a
   precaution which I consider one of extreme efficacy: I caught hold of the side of the mattress gingerly, and very
   slowly drew it toward me. It came away, followed by the sheet and the rest of the bedclothes. I dragged all these
   objects into the very middle of the room, facing the entrance door. I made my bed over again as best I could
   at some distance from the suspected bedstead and the corner which had filled me with such anxiety. Then, I
   extinguished all the candles, and, groping my way, I slipped under the bedclothes.
   For at least another hour, I remained awake, starting at the slightest sound. Everything seemed quiet in the
   chateau. I fell asleep.
   I must have been in a deep sleep for a long time, but all of a sudden, I was awakened with a start by the fall of
   a heavy body tumbling right on top of my own body, and, at the same time, I received on my face, on my neck,
   and on my chest a burning liquid which made me utter a howl of pain. And a dreadful noise, as if a sideboard
   laden with plates and dishes had fallen down, penetrated my ears.
   I felt myself suffocating under the weight that was crushing me and preventing me from moving. I stretched
   out my hand to find out what was the nature of this object. I felt a face, a nose, and whiskers. Then with all my
   strength I launched out a blow over this face. But I immediately received a hail of cuffings which made me jump
   straight out of the soaked sheets, and rush in my nightshirt into the corridor, the door of which I found open.
   O stupor! It was broad daylight. The noise brought my friends hurrying into the apartment, and we found,
   sprawling over my improvised bed, the dismayed valet, who, while bringing me my morning cup of tea, had
   tripped over this obstacle in the middle of the floor, and fallen on his stomach, spilling, in spite of himself, my
   breakfast over my face.
   The precautions I had taken in closing the shutters and going to sleep in the middle of the room had only
   brought about the interlude I had been striving to avoid.
   Ah! How they all laughed that day!
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12.7  Example of a student’s narrative writing
12.7  Example of a student’s narrative writing
 Surviving Victim
 The Galactic Empire was falling.
 It was a colossal Empire, stretching across millions of worlds, millions of light years
 apart. Its fall was colossal too – and a long one, as Hari Seldon had predicted …
 The memories were fragmentary at first, as they always were … He had been
 walking the dirty, scorched streets in silence since twilight first began to gather.
 His steps were steady and monotonous. Pain streamed like liquid fire through
 every cell of his body – but he locked it away in a corner of his mind, ignored it and
 walked. It was all a shock to him. All was new. All was horrific.
 Dim soft sunlight barely reached the soft black soil beneath his silent steps. Its
 rays were blocked by fine glittering dust like mist on a humid day, only it
 wasn’t. There was little, in fact nothing to please the eye in his surroundings. In
 fact, it was the exact opposite. He looked to the falling dust in hatred and screamed,
 ‘Who and why?’ only it was as silent as his dead surroundings. Questions upon
 questions, mysteries upon mysteries heaped themselves up in his mind, with this
 question plaguing him as fiercely as the pain.
 He continued, threading his way through the clatter and glitter of the streets,
 thronged with shrivelled corpses clustered around the tawdry attractions offered
 to space-weary visitors – everything from ordinary holoscreens to shadowy, semi-
 illicit drug dives. Vegetation was grudgingly available, or what was left of it. Trees
 were left bare and naked in the dim light as if to say ‘come what may come,’ only
 it already came.
 Broken, fleeting visions of landscape passed his mind as he had seen them from
 his spaceship – a bleak inhospitable world, dominated by chill expanses of desert,
 by towering ranges of rock-fanged mountains. His name was Elijah Bailey. It was
 his world – the planet Aurora. It had had breathable air, with water, and vegetation
 sprawled all over its surface. It also had had a variety of its own life forms – the
 venomous reptiles of many weird shapes, the deadly jungle cats, the huge, horned
 mammoths of the mountains, the tangled vine growths that fed on flesh – all alien
 beasts, all threatening, all dangerously elegant. Now, this was non-existent. It was
 now a dead and deadly world.
 His memories were gathering pace now, and Elijah writhed in his chair, powerless
 to stop his unconscious mind from forming images that he had re-lived so often
 before, in horror and despair. Elijah Bailey’s memories shifted back, as they always
 did, and the broken, fleeting visions gathered, held steady …
 As he studied the face of the planet Aurora looming and filling his view-screen,
 all seemed puzzlingly calm and normal. There was a faint, hazy aura round
 the image of the planet and the spaceship’s sensors reported unknown radiation,
 but Elijah discounted that as a possible minor malfunction of the screen and
 the sensors, to do with the lack of repairs that resulted from the lack of funds the
 falling Empire suffered from. The planet had been attacked and unknown radiation
                                                                                                                                               175
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                             released over the entire surface. The planet was bathed in a glowing haze of lethal
                             radiation, in which everything and everyone that Elijah had loved had met their
                             deaths.
                             Now, Elijah’s face twisted, his body hunched, aching, torn with a fury that was
                             beyond bearing, a grief that was inconsolable, and a physical sensation – pain. It
                             seemed to emanate from his very bones – faint, but tangible and definite. A deep-
                             lying sensation of burning pain. Horror and savage rage tore at his sanity. But in
                             the end as the hours passed, something else – not intuition but a physical sensation
                             itself, from within his body – told him that even though he had survived, it was not
                             likely to matter to him for very long. He was to meet with his fellow victims of the
                             falling Empire soon. He was to meet them in nowhere but heaven – he was dying a
                             slow and painful death ...
                             The medic had made exhaustive tests. And the gloom that appeared on his face
                             was enough to tell Elijah the results. The radiation – from some altered isotope
                             unrecognised by either Elijah or the medic – had reached Elijah despite his wearing
                             a radiation-proof suit and settled in Elijah’s bones. There it was creating cellular
                             changes and breakdowns that were surely, inevitably, killing him now
                              ‘A month more.’ Elijah remembered the space medic saying, ‘Two at the most.’
                             Time was now his most precious possession. Every minute gone was another step
                             towards the day – soon now as the medic had said – when the pain would grow
                             strong enough to batter down his control, when the radiation within him would
                             overwhelm and quench his life.
                             Elijah began looking forward to the end – not only as a release from the pain. It
                             would also release him from the memories that came to torment his nights, in which
                             he relived the terrible day when he thought he was rushing to visit his planet and
                             found he had come to join it only in death.
                             And it would release him from the despair which came with the growing realisation
                             that the Galactic Empire was certainly falling. Hari Seldon’s prediction was no
                             joke. But after all, who would think that such a powerful empire would disintegrate
                             to rubble.
                             The flavour of that anticipation reached into the memory, filled it, changed it. For
                             the first time in weeks, the surviving victim of the Empire’s fall sank deeper into
                             peaceful, undisturbed sleep, moving closer and closer towards his fate.
                             The fact was inescapable. It was that many more wars were happening, everywhere,
                             than should have been happening. Entire solar systems were erupting with violence.
                             A large industrialised planet would move suddenly and inexplicably attack a
                             smaller, under-developed neighbour. Alternatively, two small planets came to invade
                             – without clear cause – a third, and then after their victory fall out and fight
                             between themselves. Elijah had witnessed it right before his very eyes. Hari Seldon
                             had foreseen it. The Galactic Empire was falling. Its people had to accept it, as a
                             religion is accepted. No sane human could deny it.
176
12.8  Assignment 1: Writing to discuss, argue and/or persuade
                      Teacher’s comment: A great response. An effective short story – well written and
                      making effective use of description. The student captures and sustains the genre.
                      Well done!
                      Teacher’s analysis: There are some delightful phrases in the piece of imaginative
                      writing which is a sophisticated piece of science fiction writing. We could pick out
                      so many but here is just one: ‘the venomous reptiles of many weird shapes’. What
                      is perhaps surprising is that this a first draft. Normally a second draft might have
                      improved the vocabulary and one or two of the ideas might be reworked but there is
                      no necessity for that here. This student understands science fiction writing and
                      can employ exactly the right tone.
                      Study tip
                      You can approach the process of drafting and redrafting in a variety of ways; remember that
                      redrafting does not mean just writing something out again and correcting any technical errors
                      that were in the first effort.
                      1	 You might ask your teacher to read the first version and suggest whether any parts could be
                         improved. You could ask a friend or classmate to do the same. They might notice, for instance,
                         that in a story you have created one character rather more strongly than another, and you
                         might consider trying to give the second character more life. In an argumentative piece, you
                         might have presented one side of the argument very much more strongly than the other, and
                         you should try to balance them a bit more. Don’t expect your teacher or friend to tell you exactly
                         how to change your piece – it is, after all, your work and the final decision is up to you.
                      2	 Try reading through the piece, asking yourself over and over again, ‘Is this sentence necessary
                         and is it as good as I can make it?’
Remember              12.8  Assignment 1: Writing to discuss,
                             argue and/or persuade
For this type of
task, you will need   Sometimes you might be asked to write a text to discuss, argue and/or persuade in
to apply both your    response to a text given to you by your teacher. For this type of task, you will need
writing and reading   to respond by selecting, analysing and evaluating the content of the text(s).
skills, to show
how well you have       There are no specific limitations as to the sort of material you choose to write
responded to ideas    about (some possible examples are given later in this section), but your writing
in the text(s) you    should meet the requirements to select, analyse and evaluate and to show how well
have chosen to write  you have understood what you have read.
about.
                        The choice of passages is the responsibility of the centre and you, as the student.
                      You will also have the choice of how to present your response to the material.
                      As long as you keep the purpose for which you are writing clearly in mind, you can
                      choose to pursue it in any suitable format or genre which is appropriate.
                      What type of text(s) can I use?
                      You have a wide choice as to what texts you choose and where they come
                      from. However, it is likely that non-fiction and media material will best suit the
                      requirements of the syllabus.
                        You should make sure that whatever text(s) you choose are of adequate length
                      to contain sufficient ideas and details to allow you to respond to them as fully as
                      you can. In this assignment it is your response to the ideas in the text(s) that is
                      important.
                                                                                                                                                                     177
12	 Written coursework
                   How should I present my writing?
                          You have the opportunity to present your writing in any form which is appropriate.
                          Whatever format you choose to use, however, you should think carefully about the
                          audience for whom you are writing and the tone and register of what you write. Here
                          are a few suggestions:
                          »	 An advertisement or series of advertisements for a particular product,
                             accompanied by an explanation of the techniques and devices you have chosen to
                             use in them and of how they are intended to appeal to their target audience.
                          »	 Your own newspaper article(s) or letters to a newspaper giving opposing views
                             about the material you have chosen to respond to.
                          »	 The words of a speech you would give either supporting or opposing the ideas in
                             your source material.
                          »	 A leaflet dealing with issues similar to those in your source material and aimed to
                             appeal to a particular audience.
                          »	 Your own travel guide/brochure written about an area you have visited or know
                             well (however, it must be related to the original in a recognisable way).
                          »	 The script of a radio discussion between two or three people responding to the
                             ideas and opinions in your source material.
                          »	 A straightforward piece comparing the ideas and opinions in your source material
                             and considering the methods used to communicate them to the chosen audience.
                                   Warnings
                                   1	 Check work done on a computer. You are allowed to use a computer to produce your
                                      coursework and many people do. There are, however, a few things to remember. A computer is
                                      not the answer to all your linguistic problems. To use the spellcheck effectively, for example,
                                      you have to have a clear idea of the word that you want. It is amazing how many students scan
                                      the list of possibilities and pick the wrong word, so that what they end up with is nonsense.
                                      The same applies to the grammar check. Computer checks are not a substitute for your own
                                      knowledge.
                                   2	 Don’t copy! We all read things that influence us and, if the model that influences us is good,
                                      it can have a positive effect. However, copying sections of other people’s writing is called
                                      plagiarism and it is a form of cheating. Your teacher knows what your own writing is like
                                      and will immediately question work that is very different. In the same way, although you are
                                      encouraged to write in different styles, a moderator will be able to see quite easily if something
                                      does not belong to you. Cheats are nearly always caught out. If you have used ideas from books
                                      or the internet, remember to list your sources.
               12.9  Examples of reading passages and
                      writing tasks
                          Here are some examples of reading material that could be used as a basis for some
                          coursework tasks, and some suggestions of tasks that could be set on them.
                             You might like to use these tasks in preparation for this assignment and think of
                          how you would approach them. You could also think of other suitable tasks that you
                          would like to do. After all, this is writing and you are in control of what you do.
                             However, whatever approach you choose to take, don’t forget that you will need
                          to demonstrate your understanding of the ideas you have read about in the source
                          passages as well as your writing ability in expressing your own thoughts.
                             Here we have a variety of stimulus materials suitable for students of different
                          levels of ability.
178
12.9  Examples of reading passages and writing tasks
Example 1
Exercise 1
Read the job advertisement printed below and then do the following:
•	 Write your letter of application for the post and include your CV.
•	 Write a reference letter from a previous employer or headteacher.
•	 Write a letter to a friend saying what happened after you applied.
  Secretary Required for Reliance Agencies
    Responsibilities: Answering phone calls, typing documents, emailing, booking
    meetings, computing and other basic secretarial skills.
    Necessary Qualifications: A typing speed of 90 words per minute, and a
    shorthand speed of 110 words per minute. Familiarity with an Apple Mac computer
    system would be an advantage.
    Terms of Appointment: A salary of K2000 per month (excluding bonus), working
    days Mon–Fri, 8:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. One month paid holiday. A company car will be
    provided. Benefits include a sickness scheme and insurance. You will be trained on an
    upgrading scheme while you are in the job. You will be working in a modern spacious
    office.
    Closing date for receipt of completed applications is 18 May 2018.
    For further details and application form, please write to Mr Peter Green,
    Appointments Officer, Chayamba Building, PO Box 123, Lilongwe.
    Tel: 654 321 123 456.
Example 2
The text below is an extract from a book in which the author describes a school
that he established. He explains the educational philosophy on which the school
was based. The ideas contained in this extract could start you thinking about issues
relating to education and be a springboard for a piece of writing on a related topic.
Exercise 2
Either
1	 You have read the extract describing Summerhill School with great interest and
   found some of the ideas very exciting. You would like to see them adapted and
   applied to your own school. Write an article for your school magazine explaining
   what you find interesting in these ideas and why you think they could be
   applied successfully in your school.
Or
2	 You disagree with the ideas in the passage. Write a letter to the author of
   Summerhill in which you explain why you are not in favour of his ideas and
   putting forward your own opinions as to what makes a successful school.
                                                                                                                                               179
12	 Written coursework
Summerhill
When my first wife and I began the school, we had one main idea: to make the school fit the child – instead of making the
child fit the school.
I had taught in ordinary schools for many years. I knew the other way well. I knew it was all wrong. It was wrong because it
was based on an adult conception of what a child should be and how a child should learn. The other way dated from the days
when psychology was still an unknown science.
Well, we set out to make a school in which we should allow children freedom to be themselves. In order to do this, we had to
renounce all discipline, all direction, all suggestion, all moral training, all religious instruction. We have been called brave,
but it did not require courage. All it required was what we had – a complete belief in the child as a good, not an evil, being.
For over forty years, this belief in the goodness of the child has never wavered; it rather has become a final faith.
My view is that a child is innately wise and realistic. If left to himself without any adult suggestion of any kind, he will develop
as far as he is capable of developing. Logically, Summerhill is a place in which people who have the innate ability and wish
to be scholars will be scholars; while those who are only fit to sweep the streets will sweep the streets. But we have not
produced a street cleaner so far. Nor do I write this snobbishly, for I would rather see a school produce a happy street cleaner
than a neurotic scholar.
What is Summerhill like? Well, for one thing, lessons are optional. Children can go to them or stay away from them – for years
if they want to. There is a timetable – but only for the teachers.
The children have classes usually according to their age, but sometimes according to their interests. We have no new
methods of teaching, because we do not consider that teaching in itself matters very much. Whether a school has or has not a
special method for teaching long division is of no significance, for long division is of no importance except to those who want
to learn it. And the child who wants to learn long division will learn it no matter how it is taught.
Children who come to Summerhill as kindergarteners attend lessons from the beginning of their stay; but pupils from other
schools vow that they will never attend any beastly lessons again at any time. They play and cycle and get in people’s way, but
they fight shy of lessons. This sometimes goes on for months. The recovery time is proportionate to the hatred their last school
gave them.
                                                                                                           Source: from Summerhill by A.S. Neill, Pelican, 1985 
                Example 3
                       This comprises two articles about theme parks.
Survey Shows Decline in Disney
Park Visitors
Following a period of growth in 2015, the world’s     According to the eleventh edition of the report,
top theme parks have experienced a mixed year,        overall attendance at Disney attractions was
according to the latest edition of the TEA/AECOM      actually up by 2.5 million, though this was largely
Theme Index.                                          due in part to the launch of Shanghai Disneyland,
                                                      which recorded visitor numbers of 5.6 million
For the world’s top 25 theme parks, attendance        during its debut year.
declined 1.1 per cent, down from 235.6 million
visitors in 2015, to 233.1 million in 2016, with the  Florida’s Magic Kingdom remains the world’s most
top operator – Disney – telling a similar story.      visited park, with Disneyland California and Tokyo
180
12.9  Examples of reading passages and writing tasks
Disneyland in second and third place respectively.   driving park attendance, which was up 13.9 per
All three parks suffered attendance declines         cent to 8.1 million from 7.1 million year-on-year.
however, with drops of 0.5 per cent, 1.8 per cent
and 0.4 per cent respectively.                       “Disney resources have lately been concentrated in
                                                     Asia, with Shanghai Disney Resort having opened
For the year Magic Kingdom welcomed 20.4 million     in mid-2016,” said Brian Sands, vice president of
visitors, while Disneyland California drew 17.9      economics, The Americas, for AECOM.
million and Tokyo Disneyland 16.5 million. Disney’s
other parks included in the index all recorded       “Meanwhile, Universal’s Harry Potter attractions
attendance declines, the largest being Hong Kong     have been a powerful draw in both Hollywood and
Disneyland, which suffered a 10.3 per cent drop of   Orlando. But Disney has new IP magic of its own to
700 000 visitors with 6.1 million visitors.          deliver in its North American parks, most notably
                                                     the Pandora land (Avatar) at Disney’s Animal
Other operators however have fared better, with      Kingdom, as well as the redesigned and renamed
Universal Studios recording attendance increases at  Disney Springs retail-dining-entertainment area.
all of its parks, buoyed by new attractions and IPs  For its part, Universal is also continuing to grow
including the continued phenomenal success of its    domestically, with its new second gate in Orlando
Harry Potter worlds.                                 – Volcano Bay – opening around the same time as
                                                     Pandora.”
Universal Studios Japan was ranked fourth for
attendance overall, with visitor numbers increasing  The highest-ranked park outside of Disney and
from 13.9 million in 2015 to 14.5 million in 2016    Universal was Chimelong Ocean Kingdom, in
– a 4.3 per cent increase. Universal Studios in      Zhuhai, China, in 12th, which increased attendance
Orlando also saw its numbers surge by the same       by 13.2 per cent to 8.5 million visitors. Lotte World
percentage, up from 9.6 million to 10 million. The   in South Korea ranked next in 14th, with an 11.5
neighbouring Island of Adventure park in Orlando     per cent increase, while Everland, also in South
increased numbers by 6.5 per cent from 8.8 million   Korea, was 16th.
to 9.4 million during the period.
                                                     For the world’s top 10 theme park groups, overall
Universal Studios Hollywood launched its new         attendance was up 4.3 per cent, with numbers
Wizarding World of Harry Potter attraction in April  rising from 420.4 million in 2015 to 438.3 million in
2016, with the boy wizard’s magic spell once again   2016.
Source: www.attractionsmanagement.com/detail.cfm?pagetype=detail&subject=news&codeID=332343
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12	 Written coursework
How I Became That Weird
Theme Park Mom
By ELIZABETH ALTERMAN, JULY 7, 2017
I can hear the screams before I’ve         I had been having some bittersweet   remind them. Wasn’t I the one who’d
even found a parking spot. A heady      moments watching my three sons,         say, “Race you to the stars!” as we
mix of terror and exhilaration courses  now 14, 11 and 9, growing up, growing   hopped on swings in the playground
through my body and I know I’m not      away from me and toward their           behind the library, my long legs and
the only one in the minivan who feels   friends and their futures. Lately, it   their tiny ones pumping furiously
it.                                     seemed my husband always got to be      as we sailed toward the treetops?
                                        the fun one, letting them stay up late  Didn’t I encourage them to brave the
   I tell my teenage son: “Open the     to watch a game, trading sports trivia  Scrambler at the local fair the moment
app and check the wait time for         and speaking in baseball vernacular. A  they met the height requirement,
Superman!” It’s a sentence I never      secret language I’ve never spoken.      giving them their first delicious taste of
thought I’d utter — let alone with                                              the wonder of velocity?
such enthusiasm.                           So one day last spring when I
                                        received an email promotion for Six        My 14-year-old looked at the
   How did I, a 44-year-old “do-your-   Flags season passes for an “unbeatable  cost of regular admission tickets
homework-brush-your-teeth-say-your-     low, low price,” I thought, what if I   versus the price of season passes and
prayers-and-lights-out-before-10”       could stop time and reel my boys        determined that if we were going to
mom, become a person who can            back to me with the promise of roller   go even twice, the passes would pay
debate the various merits of the        coasters and bumper cars? I had been    for themselves. And since we live only
classic features of El Toro and the     adventurous once. I just needed to      an hour from the park, we could easily
modern corkscrew style of Bizarro?                                              get there multiple times in a single
                                                                                summer. He concluded that it would
                                                                                be “fiscally irresponsible of us not to
                                                                                get season passes”.
                                                                                   Economics aside, I went that route
                                                                                hoping, for once, to be more than a
                                                                                woman extolling the virtues of beets
                                                                                and proper flossing. And, spoiler alert:
                                                                                It worked.
                                                                                   In this loud and crowded space,
                                                                                a sense of peace and camaraderie
                                                                                washes over us. We are different. I’m
                                                                                not a nagging shrew and they’re no
                                                                                longer sulky, sullen adolescents. Here,
                                                                                we are marauders roaming a land
                                                                                filled with thrills — all of them ours
                                                                                for the taking.
                                                                                   As we race ever closer to the sun
                                                                                on the rails of a steel coaster, I can feel
                                                                                my jowls becoming one with my neck
                                                                                — but I couldn’t care less.
                                                                                   When you’re hurtling through space
                                                                                at 190 kilometres per hour, there’s no
                                                                                time to worry about the emails
182
12.9  Examples of reading passages and writing tasks
you haven’t returned, the lack of        easier to get my cat a job as an Uber       theme park lady.” I don’t tell them
milk in your fridge and the bills that   driver than it is to get one lone           I’m doing this for me. For us. Because
await when you return home. You          anecdote about high school out of this      it makes me feel alive. Because
don’t even have a second to consider     kid.                                        screaming into the abyss is cheaper
that an errant bird may fly into your                                                than a therapist’s co-pay and because
face leaving you with just one eye.         As we prepare to board the               I’m trying to go back to a time when I
Your mind is wonderfully, impossibly,    world’s tallest roller coaster and be       was more than just a bit player in the
remarkably blank.                        hydraulically launched 45 stories into      story of their lives.
                                         the sky, my 11-year-old, his eyes as
   As we walk from one section of        blue and hopeful as the clear summer           In spending a day terrifying
the park to another in search of more    sky, looks up at me and asks, “Can we       ourselves, we have been made fearless
dizzying, gut-churning fun, I’m able to  hold hands?”                                together. We’re slightly sunburned,
impart small bits of wisdom without                                                  giddy with adrenaline and a sense of
coming across as overbearing, the way       This is the same child who bolts         having survived an adventure together.
I might at home.                         out the door and forgets to say
                                         goodbye to me 40 percent of the                And my kids know a new truth
    “The stats on how often tongue       school year.                                about me: I might not be able to build
piercings get infected are actually                                                  a go-kart, sink a 3-pointer, or stay
pretty alarming,” I caution. “Probably       “Of course,” I say and pinch his        awake for 10 consecutive minutes
best to skip that whole business,        cheek. He doesn’t pull away.                during a single Star Wars film, but
right?”                                                                              when it comes to thrill rides, I will wait
                                            When I tell friends and family           as long as it takes for the front seat
   Moments of pure magic occur as        that I’ve taken another day off from        and I will hold your hand and scream
we wait among the sweaty, heavily        work to spend at this glorified             as we orbit through space. Grinning all
tattooed masses to become human          carnival where sensory overload and         the way.
slingshots. My 14-year-old tells me      overpriced nachos reign supreme,
about an older girl who gave her         they grimace.                                Source: www.nytimes.com/2017/07/07/well/
phone number to his good friend                                                       family/how-i-became-that-weird-theme-
thinking he was 17 because his curly         “Again, Liz?,” they ask, shaking their   park-mom
hair makes him appear taller. Would      heads. “Did you lose a bet? Are you
I have heard this story if we were       blackmailing the boys to empty the
waiting in, say, the orthodontist’s      dishwasher or fold the laundry? And, if
office? No. Normally, it would be        so, is it working?”
                                            It’s then that I realize I’ve
                                         inadvertently become “that weird
Exercise 3
1	 Write a magazine article in which you analyse why theme parks and their rides
   are so popular. You should also consider how successful they are in appealing
   to different ages and genders – you could even conduct a survey among your
   classmates to support your comments. You should base your writing closely on
   the material printed on pages 180–83.
2	 Your school has arranged a trip to a theme park. Write a letter to parents giving
   them information about the proposed visit (e.g. which park you are visiting;
   whether you will be staying for more than one day; how you will be travelling;
   the approximate cost of the visit). You should also encourage parents (and
   grandparents?) to be part of the outing, both to help with supervision and for
   their own enjoyment. You should base what you write on the material on pages
   180–83.
                                                                                     183
12	 Written coursework
     Example 4
     This material consists of a website campaign on behalf of a conservation group and
     a piece of personal writing from someone who has strong feelings about the threats
     faced by the world’s gorilla population.
Gorilla Conservation
Campaign
To donate to the Emergency Gorilla Appeal Click Here!          Rwanda, providing a much-needed institutional presence to
The Wildlife Conservation Society (WCS) is the only            ensure the protection of this most endangered great ape.
organization in the world working to protect all of Africa’s   While not nearly as well-known as mountain gorillas,
gorilla populations, specifically the world-renowned           eastern lowland gorillas are also endangered. Little is
mountain gorillas, as well as the eastern lowland gorillas     known about this gorilla subspecies, due primarily to the
and western gorillas. WCS began studying these                 inaccessible forests where it lives. WCS conducted the
spectacular primates in 1959 with Dr George Schaller’s         first-ever comprehensive survey of eastern lowland gorillas in
seminal studies of mountain gorillas in the Virunga Volcanoes  1998, finding a surprisingly robust population living primarily
region on the borders of Rwanda, Uganda and the                around Kahuzi-Biega, Maiko and Virunga National Parks in
Democratic Republic of Congo. Schaller’s work paved the        Democratic Republic of Congo. Since that time, a new war
way for future conservation efforts and showed that gorillas   involving several African nations and numerous rebel groups
were not the raging beasts of myth, but gentle, group-         has enveloped the entire region. Park guards are severely
oriented animals, feeding primarily on plants and fruit.       limited in their ability to patrol park borders in this region,
WCS’s research on mountain gorillas continued in the           while poaching and habitat loss have become widespread.
1970s, when researchers Amy Vedder and Bill Weber              Further, eastern DR Congo has become the centre of mining
launched the Mountain Gorilla Project (MGP) in Rwanda.         operations for coltan, a naturally occurring alloy that is used
Vedder and Weber’s work on mountain gorilla ecology and        in cell phone technology. Mining camps in and around
how economics and human attitudes affect conservation          parks like Kahuzi-Biega National Park have caused an
helped save these majestic primates from what many experts     increase in bushmeat hunting, and the most recent surveys
at the time considered to be certain extinction. Through a     indicate that gorilla numbers may be in steep decline.
combination of education, outreach and ecotourism, the         Western gorillas are probably more numerous than mountain
MGP helped rebuild mountain gorilla numbers from a low         and eastern lowland gorillas combined; however, at a
of about 250 in the late 1970s to its present count of 360     meeting held in Leipzig, Germany in May 2002, gorilla
individuals. WCS continues to fund conservation projects in    experts from several countries concluded that lack of
                                                               enforcement in protected areas throughout Central Africa
                                                               constitutes a significant threat to western gorillas across their
                                                               range. WCS scientists currently working in western gorilla
                                                               range countries – the Republic of Congo, Central African
                                                               Republic, Nigeria and Gabon – are helping to create
                                                               management plans for gorillas through a combination of
                                                               research, education and cooperation with governmental
                                                               agencies in the region.
                                                               Today, the future for gorillas remains uncertain. With central
                                                               Africa’s human population growing quickly, pressures on
                                                               both gorilla habitat and the animals themselves will only
                                                               escalate. Further, growing turmoil in the area has made
                                                               it difficult for conservationists to protect one of our closest
                                                               relatives. It is only through the efforts of WCS and other
                                                               dedicated conservationists, that continue to work closely with
                                                               local people and governments, that we can expect to save
                                                               the gorilla – a living symbol of the wilds of Africa.
184
12.9  Examples of reading passages and writing tasks
Conservation Addendum                                              the region’s extreme volatility, conservationists have been
WCS is a member of the Bushmeat Crisis Task Force – a              able to do little on-the-ground work. Even the park guards,
coalition of conservation groups monitoring the situation          who were disarmed when the war started, cannot patrol
in Kahuzi-Biega National Park in Democratic Republic of            large areas of Kahuzi-Biega because of safety concerns.
Congo. As a result of civil war, poor security around the          Recently, the U.S. State Department and the Bushmeat Crisis
park has led to widespread killing of animals – including          Task Force have discussed ways to alleviate the situation,
Grauer’s gorillas – by people desperate for food. In               including working with the different warring factions to find
1994–1995, WCS carried out a survey of the worldwide               peace, and addressing issues of food security in the region,
distribution of Grauer’s gorillas and found that 86% of the        which would in turn take the pressure off wildlife populations.
population was found in Kahuzi-Biega. Today, due to
                                                                          Source: Wildlife Conservation Society (www.wcs.org) 
Mountain Gorillas in Peril
After 10 years of respite, a new assault was perpetrated last      Marcel was probably the most famous gorilla in the area, and
month against mountain gorillas and their very chances for         his group was very habituated to tourists. The circumstances
survival.                                                          of the murder are still under investigation, but here is what we
                                                                   know today: Apparently, a ranger of the Parc National des
In December of ‘94, my husband and I visited with a peaceful       Virungas was hired by a private collector to capture a young
family of 25 mountain gorillas in the Virunga Mountains of         male gorilla. The ranger, who knew Marcel well, thought he
Zaire [Democratic Republic of Congo]. There are no words           could get away with just snatching the baby. He obviously
to describe what a wonderful experience it was to observe          did not count on the gorilla’s protectiveness. No amount of
these majestic creatures, our closest relatives, in their natural  habituation will prevent a silverback from protecting his group,
habitat. The hour and a half I spent with them was to be one of    or a mother her child. Now thanks to some of our fellow men’s
my sweetest memories. But today my memories are shattered,         greed and stupidity there are two more names on the list of the
spoiled with blood and rage. On August 14th, Marcel (also          heroic gorillas who have sacrificed their lives at the spears and
known as Rugabo), the beautiful silverback leader of the group,    guns of poachers and collectors.
and an adult female were shot to death, while trying to prevent
the kidnapping of an infant.                                       Fortunately, the baby gorilla was retrieved from a truck at the
                                                                   Uganda border and successfully reintroduced in his family. He
                                                                   185
12	 Written coursework
was named Rafiki (‘friend’ in Swahili) in honour of a Nairobi-    but also from being pushed higher up the mountains, where
based company that runs safaris in the area. Marcel and his       they may suffer respiratory problems.
lady were buried behind the warden’s hut in Djomba, in the
presence of several Zairian dignitaries. Their deaths are not     One of the most present problems, however, comes from the
only a tragedy for their group (if there isn’t a male capable of  drop in tourism that all this turmoil has caused. The National
taking over the role of silverback, the group may disintegrate    Parks get most of their revenues from the tourists who come
and wander aimlessly in the forest at the mercy of poachers),     to see the gorillas. In Djomba, a visit costs $120 per person
they put a serious dent in the whole species’ chances for         and up to 8 tourists go each day. If there are no tourists,
survival.                                                         close to a $1000 a day and $365 000 a year is lost to the
                                                                  Park authorities and, therefore, taken away from the gorillas’
There are only about 650 mountain gorillas left in the world,     protection. If the Park is not protected, there will be no limits
half of which live in the Parc National des Virungas in Zaire,    to the damage made to the mountain gorillas’ only habitat on
and the other half in neighbouring Rwanda and Uganda.             Earth, which would undoubtedly lead to their extinction.
Each time one dies, it reduces the genetic pool available for
their reproduction. Before this year, there had been no gorillas  You probably can’t solve the refugee problem in Zaire, but there
killed since the murder of Dian Fossey, the famous gorilla        are ways you can help. Visiting the mountain gorillas is the best
conservationist, in 1985. Unfortunately, Marcel and his female    way to relieve their plight. Not only will you help guarantee
are not the only mountain gorillas who died this year. Four       their continued protection, you will see for yourself what
were shot in Uganda in March; a silverback named Salama           wonderful and gentle creatures mountain gorillas are. Although
died from unknown causes in Zaire; and just a couple of weeks     going to Rwanda is not recommended, you can still visit the
ago, another silverback, named Luwaya, was found shot in the      gorillas in Uganda or Zaire. As Chris McDonald from Rafiki
Virungas. Luwaya’s death brings the count to eight, a terrible    Africa puts it: ‘We have experienced no increased levels of risk
loss in a population of 650.                                      at Djomba and the locals remain as friendly as ever. The fact is
                                                                  that the gorilla sanctuary is approached from the Uganda side
Most of the deaths are attributable to poachers who kill the      of the Virunga mountains and the problems facing Zaire, as far
gorillas for their meat or to capture infants. The problem has    as the 1 000 000 refugees from Rwanda are concerned, may
become acute in the past year due to the presence of more         as well be thousands of kilometres away.’ If you would like to
than 750 000 Rwandan refugees in the camps of Goma near           go, please contact Kilimanjaro Adventure Travel on the web at
the Parc des Virungas. On August 22nd, the Zairian soldiers       www.kilimanjaro.com.
tried to force some refugees, most of them Hutu gunmen
responsible for killing about 500 000 Tutsis, back to Rwanda,     You can also help by sending donations to various animal
but mostly succeeded in sending 60 000 of them into the           protection groups. The World Society for the Protection of
mountains to escape the expulsions. The presence of the           Animals is running the EscApe campaign, specifically
refugees increases the pressure on the endangered mountain        dedicated to the survival of the great apes. We are also
gorillas. According to a study conducted for the UN, 18 square    hoping to start a ‘Marcel Fund’ in connection with the Dian
kilometres of forest have already been destroyed by refugees      Fossey Gorilla Fund (UK), in order to build a visitor education
cutting wood for fuel, and 78 square kilometres are badly         centre that will help the public understand the gorillas, their
damaged. Deforestation and the invasion of refugees in the        habitat, and future survival. Please check back with us to see
National Park puts the gorillas at risk, not only from poaching,  what the status is and how you can help.
                                                                                       Source: Stephanie Hancock, www.kilimanjaro.com
               Exercise 4
                          1	 Using the reading material on pages 184–86, write the words of a pamphlet
                             aimed at younger children, explaining the dangers faced by gorillas and what
                             could be done to help protect them.
                          2	 Using the details contained in the reading material on pages 184–86, write the
                             script of a radio discussion programme titled ‘What Makes Animals So Important
                             Anyway?’ featuring Stephanie Hancock, a representative from the Wildlife
                             Conservation Society and yourself as Chair, who, for the sake of argument,
                             adopts a position opposed to conservation issues.
186
12.10  Writing checklist
12.10  Writing checklist
When your writing is checked by a teacher or read by the audience, the following
points will all be taken into consideration. If you also take them into consideration
when you check and revise your work before submitting your portfolio, your writing
will be more successful!
1	 Is the content:
   »	interesting	
   »	entertaining	
   »	enjoyable?
2	 Does it achieve the assessment objectives for continuous writing, proving that
   you can:
   »	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
   »	 sequence facts, ideas and opinions
   »	 use a range of appropriate vocabulary
   »	 use register appropriate to audience and context
   »	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar?
3 	Is it well structured? Is it easy to follow and does it move sensibly from
   beginning to end?
4	 Is the style appropriate for the purpose of the piece?
5	 How accurate is the writing? How good is the:
   »	spelling	
   »	grammar	
   »	punctuation?
 Unit summary
 In this unit you have reviewed the following objectives.
 Assignment 1:
 •	 demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
 •	 demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
 •	 analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate
    support from the text
 •	 select and use information for specific purposes
 •	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
 •	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
 •	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
 •	 use register appropriate to context
 •	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
 Assignments 2 and 3:
 •	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
 •	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
 •	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
 •	 use register appropriate to context
 •	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                                                                                                                                               187
CHAPTER 5
Speaking and
listening skills
 Units
  13	  Speaking and listening skills
188
13	 Speaking and listening skills
                             In this unit you will:
                             ★	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
                             ★	 present facts, ideas and opinions in a cohesive order which sustains the
                                 audience’s interest
                             ★	 communicate clearly and purposefully using fluent language
                             ★	 use register appropriate to context
                             ★	 listen and respond appropriately in conversation.
                             This unit will focus on the following skills:
                       Speaking and listening
                             ★	 describe and reflect on experience, and express what is thought, felt and
                                 imagined
                             ★	 organise and present facts, ideas and opinions effectively
                             ★	 understand and convey complex ideas
                             ★	 communicate with clarity, focus and purpose
                             ★	 communicate appropriately for the context
                             ★	 engage appropriately in conversation.
                                                                                                                                                                                      189
13	 Speaking and listening skills
Key term             Introduction
Moderator: An
external examiner    Speaking and listening are an integral part of your English lessons, and being able
who oversees         to speak in English and understand what is said to you in reply are hugely important
teachers’ marking    skills. Although they may not be assessed as part of your English course, they are
of the speaking and  important skills to develop.
listening test or
coursework.            It’s also worth remembering that if you write a script for your written papers, you
                     will produce a better piece if you have thought about how to speak interestingly
190                  and communicate clearly.
                       In Units 4.1 and 4.4 we looked at the skills involved in writing for different
                     purposes and for different audiences. Similar skills are needed for speaking. If you
                     are a government minister explaining a new law that is to be introduced, you are
                     going to speak rather differently from someone who is talking to a group of friends
                     about whether to go to the cinema or to go shopping.
                       Even in school, you adapt your speaking style to different situations – perhaps
                     without really thinking about it: you are bound to find yourself in a mix of formal
                     and informal situations, talking with adults and with your peers, talking about
                     school work and your leisure time, and so on.
                     13.1  What is tested and how?
                       Speaking and listening skills will be assessed by your teachers and their marks
                     will be externally moderated.
                       The tests are usually conducted by one of your teachers, although some schools may
                     bring in specialists to do it. The test lasts about ten minutes, broken down into:
                     »	 Part 1: Presentation of an individual talk [3–4 minutes]
                     »	 Part 2: Conversation [6–7 minutes].
                     Both aspects of the test are explained in more detail below.
                     How is the test marked?
                     The individual talk and conversation (Parts 1 and 2 of the test) are recorded and the
                     recording is sent to a moderator who is appointed by the examination board. The
                     moderator receives a number of recordings and compares them with the standards
                     that have been set.
                       He/she will decide whether you have been assessed at the right standard. If
                     he/she agrees with your teacher’s marks, the results will simply be sent to the
                     examining board; if the moderator doesn’t quite agree with your teacher then he/
                     she might adjust your marks slightly.
                      Study tip
                      To build your confidence in speaking, record some practice pieces. You could start by reading
                      something out loud, just to get used to the sound of your own voice on the recording.
                      Once you have done this, make your practice as close to the situation you will face in the test as
                      possible – in other words, find a willing partner, do some preparation and then have a go! If you
                      manage to do this a few times then you will feel much more confident when it comes to the test itself.
                     13.2  The individual talk
                     Before you take the test, think of a topic that interests you. You should be able
                     to talk to your teacher on this topic for between three and four minutes, without
                     interruption or prompting. Your talk can be formal or informal; you can deliver it as
                     a presentation or as a speech.
