Cambridge IGCSE First Language English

10.3  Writing a letter

As the temperature soared past 30°C earlier this week, the The mother of one of the boys who began the protest
teenage boys had asked their teachers if they could swap said she was proud of him. Claire Lambeth, 43, said
their long trousers for shorts. They were told no – shorts her son Ryan, 15, had come home earlier in the week
weren’t permitted under the school’s uniform policy. complaining about the heat. “He said it was unbearable. I
spoke to a teacher to ask about shorts and she said it was
When they protested that the girls were allowed bare school policy [that they could not be worn]. I did say this
legs, the school – no doubt joking – said the boys were was exceptional weather, but they were having none of it.
free to wear skirts too if they chose. So on Wednesday, If girls can wear skirts, why can’t boys wear shorts?
a handful braved the giggles and did so. The scale of the
rebellion increased on Thursday, when at least 30 boys “Ryan came up with the idea of wearing a skirt, so that
opted for the attire. evening we borrowed one. He wore it the next day – as
did five other boys. Then this morning … I didn’t expect
“Quite refreshing” was how one of the boys described it to take off like that. The school is being silly really – this
the experience, pointing out that if even Royal Ascot had is exceptional weather. I was very proud of Ryan. I think it
allowed racegoers in the royal enclosure to remove their was a great idea.”
jackets, then the school ought to relax its dress code.
Another said he rather enjoyed the “nice breeze” his skirt Another mother said: “My 14-year-old son wanted to
had afforded him. wear shorts. The headteacher told them: ‘Well, you
can wear a skirt if you like’ – but I think she was being
A third, tall boy said he was told his short skirt exposed sarcastic. However, children tend to take you literally, and
too much hairy leg. Some of the boys visited a shop on because she told them it was OK, there was nothing she
their way to Isca – the name the Romans gave to Exeter – could do as long as they were school skirts.”
to pick up razors to make sure they did not fall foul of any
beauty police. A third mother said: “Children also don’t like injustice.
The boys see the female teachers in sandals and nice cool
Ironically, the temperature had dropped in Exeter to a skirts and tops while they are wearing long trousers and
more manageable 20°C, but some boys said they had shoes and the older boys have to wear blazers. They just
enjoyed the freedom afforded by the skirts and that they think it’s unfair that they can’t wear shorts in this heat.”
might continue.
There were signs that the revolution might be spreading.
The school said it was prepared to think again in the The Guardian has heard of at least one more school in
long term. The headteacher, Aimee Mitchell, said: “We Wiltshire where one boy turned up in a skirt, although it
recognise that the last few days have been exceptionally did not go down quite so well with his friends.
hot and we are doing our utmost to enable both students
and staff to remain as comfortable as possible. And schoolboys were not the only ones making
controversial dress choices because of the heat. Michael
“Shorts are not currently part of our uniform for boys, Wood, who works as a porter at Watford general
and I would not want to make any changes without hospital, claimed he was facing disciplinary action from his
consulting both students and their families. However, with employers Medirest for rolling his trousers up to try to
hotter weather becoming more normal, I would be happy cool down. A spokesperson for the company declined to
to consider a change for the future.” comment on the case, but said: “The health and safety of
our colleagues is always our number one priority.”
It was too late. The revolution was picked up by media
organisations across the globe, and Devon county council Source: www.theguardian.com/education/2017/jun/22/teenage-boys-
was forced to help the school out with inquiries. A wear-skirts-to-school-protest-no-shorts-uniform-policy
spokesperson said: “About 30 boys arrived at school this
morning wearing school skirts. None of the boys have
been penalised – no one was put in isolation or detention
for wearing a skirt.”

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10 Directed writing

Exercise 5

Imagine that you are either one of the boys who went to school wearing a skirt
or his older sister who also goes to the same school. Write a letter to the school
authorities asking them to reconsider their policy towards wearing school uniform,
taking into account the different weather conditions throughout the year. You
should include:
• a summary of what happened at the school
• reference to the feelings of the students who made the protest and what other

students thought about their action
• suggestions as to how the school uniform policy can be made more flexible for

both very hot and very cold weather.

Key terms 10.4 Writing an interview

Interview: A Introduction
meeting in which
a presenter or If you are asked to write an interview, you are likely to be given a clear indication
reporter asks of how to set it out. You will most probably be instructed to set it out as a
questions of playscript with the names of the speakers on the left-hand side of the page and the
someone from words they speak on the right. Remember that the main focus of a directed writing
whom material task is to test your understanding of what you have read in the stimulus passage;
is sought for a you should keep this in mind at all times and avoid the temptation to write a
newspaper story, fictional piece of dialogue with little relation to the original text. You should ensure
television broadcast, that the questions asked by the interviewer allow the person being interviewed to
etc. answer at some length – short, undeveloped responses will not show how well the
Playscript: The material has been understood.
written version of a
play or film. If you want to give a ‘direction’ about how the person speaks, put it very briefly
Direction: in brackets after his/her name.
Instruction (for
example, the tone of Interviewer (earnestly) Tell me about how you performed such a remarkable
voice that should be achievement.
used to speak a line
from a script). You (modestly) Well, it was really a bit of an accident.

Exercise 6

This passage is taken from The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall
Smith, which is a selection of fictional stories about Precious Ramotswe, a woman
from Botswana who decided to set up her own detective agency in Gaborone, the
capital of Botswana.
Imagine that you are either Precious’s father’s cousin or her husband and that you
are being interviewed on the day after she caught the thief by a local newspaper
reporter. The reporter asks you about Precious’s character and her work. Write the
words of the interview. Begin as follows:
Interviewer Precious seems to be quite a remarkable person; tell me a few things
about her…
(Remember that subsequent questions from the interviewer should allow the person
being interviewed to develop on key points from the original passage.)

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10.4 Writing an interview

The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency

At the age of sixteen, Mma Ramotswe left school (‘The latch on to and whose life they could slowly destroy. These
best girl in this school,’ pronounced the Principal. ‘One of men were like leeches; they sucked away at the goodness
the best girls in Botswana.’) Her father had wanted her to of a woman’s heart until it was dry and all her love had been
stay on, to do her Cambridge School Certificate, and to go used up. That took a long time, he knew, because women
even beyond that, but Mma Ramotswe was bored with seemed to have vast reservoirs of goodness in them.
Mochudi. She was bored, too, with working in the Upright
Small General Dealer, where every Saturday she did the If one of these men claimed Precious, then what could he,
stocktaking and spent hours ticking off items on dog eared a father, do? He could warn her of the risk, but whoever
stock lists. She wanted to go somewhere. She wanted her listened to warnings about somebody they loved? He had
life to start. seen it so often before; love was a form of blindness that
closed the eyes to the most glaring faults. You could love
‘You can go to my cousin,’ her father said. ‘That is a very a murderer, and simply not believe that your lover would
different place. I think that you will find lots of things do so much as crush a tick, let alone kill somebody. There
happening in that house.’ would be no point trying to dissuade her.

It cost him a great deal of pain to say this. He wanted her The cousin’s house would be as safe as anywhere, even if
to stay, to look after him, but he knew that it would be it could not protect her from men. At least the cousin could
selfish to expect her life to revolve around his. She wanted keep an eye on her niece, and her husband might be able
freedom; she wanted to feel that she was doing something to chase the most unsuitable men away. He was a rich man
with her life. And of course, at the back of his mind, was the now, with more than five buses, and he would have that
thought of marriage. In a very short time, he knew, there authority that rich men had. He might be able to send some
would be men wanting to marry her. of the young men packing.

He would never deny her that, of course. But what if the The cousin was pleased to have Precious in the house. She
man who wanted to marry her was a bully, or a drunkard, or decorated a room for her, hanging new curtains of a thick
a womaniser. All of this was possible; there was any number yellow material which she had bought from the OK Bazaars
of men like that, waiting for an attractive girl that they could on a shopping trip to Johannesburg. Then she filled a chest

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10 Directed writing

of drawers with clothes and put on top of it a framed a crowded bus, and as long as it was not too significant,
picture of the Pope. The floor was covered with a simply they just ignored it. But Precious found more than this. She
patterned reed mat. It was a bright, comfortable room. found a discrepancy of slightly over two thousand pula in
the fuel bills invoices and she drew this to the attention of
Precious settled quickly into a new routine. She was given her cousin’s husband.
a job in the office of the bus company, where she added
invoices and checked the figures in the drivers’ records. ‘Are you sure?’ he asked. ‘How could two thousand pula go
She was quick at this, and the cousin’s husband noticed missing?’
that she was doing as much work as the two older clerks
put together. They sat at their tables and gossiped away ‘Stolen?’ said Precious.
the day, occasionally moving invoices about the desk,
occasionally getting up to put on the kettle. The cousin’s husband shook his head. He regarded himself
as a model employer – a paternalist, yes, but that is what
It was easy for Precious, with her memory, to remember how the men wanted, was it not? He could not believe that any
to do new things and to apply the knowledge faultlessly. She of his employees would cheat him. How could they, when
was also willing to make suggestions, and scarcely a week he was so good to them and did so much for them?
went past in which she failed to make some suggestion as
to how the office could be more efficient. Precious showed him how the money had been taken, and
they jointly pieced together how it had been moved out of
‘You’re working too hard,’ one of the clerks said to her. the right account into another one, and had then eventually
‘You’re trying to take our jobs.’ vanished altogether. Only one of the clerks had access to
these funds, so it must have been him; there could be no
Precious looked at them blankly. She had always worked other explanation. She did not see the confrontation, but
as hard as she could, at everything she did, and she simply heard it from the other room. The clerk was indignant,
did not understand how anybody could do otherwise. How shouting his denial at the top of his voice. Then there was
could they sit there, as they did, and stare into the space in silence for a moment, and the slamming of a door.
front of their desks when they could be adding up figures or
checking the drivers’ returns? This was her first case. This was the beginning of the career
of Mma Ramotswe.
She did her own checking, often unasked, and although
everything usually added up, now and then she found a Source: The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency,
small discrepancy. These came from the giving of incorrect
change, the cousin explained. It was easy enough to do on Alexander McCall Smith, Abacus, 2004

Extension Material: Writing Dialogue

The following exercises (7 and 8) are concerned with expressing ideas through
dialogue and may help you to practise writing conversations and using a script
format. Such tasks are not directly relevant to preparation for your IGCSE First
Language English examination but practising these skills should help improve your
general ability to express yourself in written English, especially if you plan to
include the use of direct speech in your work for Coursework Assignment 3.

Exercise 7: Script-writing

In the following question, you should take your information from the main
article, the accompanying diagrams and, perhaps, the captions which relate to the
diagrams. You should also use some ideas of your own.
Imagine that you work in a research laboratory investigating the harmful effects of
noise. You have some neighbours who are worried that their children enjoy playing
music very loudly. They come to you for advice. Write a script of your conversation.
Write between 25 and 35 lines.’
Once again, you are required to put yourself into a role and to write your answer
as speech. However, the register (language and tone) you use for a conversation
should be considerably different from that used for the speech we looked at in
Section 10.2. It is also important that you select points from the material that
would be suitable for each of the speakers in the conversation.

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10.4 Writing an interview

Noise is a form of pollution which can be merely Long-term exposure to loud noise can bring about

irritating, or can cause physical or emotional damage. stress which has physical signs such as an increase in

For some people, the sound of music played very loudly oxygen consumption and heart rate, possibly leading

is annoying, while others revel in it. Similarly, it may to effects on the heart and circulation. Tiredness,

be enjoyable for some to drive a motor bike, while other irritability and sleep disturbances may also occur.

people find the noise anti-social. The physical effects of noise on the ears can

140 DANGER TO Excessive noise be serious. Prolonged, loud noise causes
UNPROTECTED EAR can have a serious physical discomfort; it actually ‘hurts the
effect on health, ears’. And if it is too loud or goes on for too
130 PAIN THRESHOLD and is associated long, it, at first, causes temporary hearing
with stress and loss, then deafness, due to permanent
120

110 anxiety. Very damage to the delicate mechanism of the

100 loud noise causes inner ear. Rock musicians performing in
physical damage front of very powerful speakers frequently

90 to the delicate have permanent hearing damage.

80 structures in the
ear and may result
70 in deafness.

60

50

40

30

20

10

0

HEARING
THRESHOLD
TYPICAL NOISE LEVELS (DECIBELS)

If used at too high a Don’t underestimate the harmful
volume, MP3 players can effects of noise. It is the form of
cause severe hearing loss. pollution which has the most
Although the speakers are immediate effect on people. It can
so tiny that they can fit cause severe stress.
inside the ear, the sound
they produce is directed Source: The Environment and Health by Brian Ward,
straight down the ear canal Franklin Watts, and Wake Up to What You Can Do
and can cause damage if
the volume is turned up too for the Environment, DETR, 1989
high.

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10 Directed writing

Exercise 8

The following article was printed in the New Straits Times.
Imagine you are Mohamad Muzri Mat Sari and you are talking with a group of your
friends about the day you fell off the pipe and broke your arm.
Write a page to a page and a half of dialogue.

DANGEROUS BALANCING ACT
TO GET TO AND RETURN FROM
SCHOOL

By C. Navaratnam

STUDENTS living in Kampung Pasir and Taman ‘Yes, promises were made several times especially
Datuk Mansor off Jalan Rasah, Seremban, do a before the elections but nothing has been done until
balancing act – one which could prove fatal – on their today. We are really disappointed,’ said K. Pannir
way to school daily. Selvam, 37, whose son uses the pipe daily.

They have become adept at carrying their bags ‘I think the authorities will only act when a child
while balancing themselves to cross a 50-metre pipe falls into the river. I am praying that my son will
about 5 m over the Sungai Linggi. return home safely from school daily.’

The alternative is to walk two kilometres to school. Housewife Tang Chow Har, 40, recalled the day
Some 60 students of Sekolah Menengah Jalan when her best friend fell while crossing the river
Loop are forced to use the pipe daily as this is the about 15 years ago. Her body was later found 2 km
only way of crossing the river. away.
On rainy days, when they have to hold an umbrella
and balance their bag at the same time, students do a ‘Her death was a big blow to me,’ she said.
risky ‘horse ride’ on the pipe which is embarrassing Tang said she is prepared to collect funds if the
for the girls. authorities are willing to build a bridge across the
To date, a housewife has died after falling into river.
the river. A student has broken an arm in a similar ‘A bridge is essential to us as it will only take us
accident. about five minutes to reach the main road by crossing
Residents have made several appeals to State the river. If we have to use the other route, it will take
Assemblymen and Members of Parliament for a us about 25 minutes,’ added Tang.
bridge across the river. Fourth-former Nur Balkiesh Sulaiman said she
Now, they can only pray that their children make had no choice but to use the pipe to get to school.
it safely across the river every time they go to and ‘On rainy days, when it’s dangerous to walk across,
return from school. we have to “horse ride” the pipe to get to the other
end. It is very embarrassing for us,’ she said.

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10.4 Writing an interview

‘We have to also bear the heat when we return instead of walking more than two kilometres to reach
tired and hungry after school. We are unable to the school.
hold an umbrella in one hand and the books in the
other while crossing,’ said 15-year-old Intan Razuna ‘Of course, my parents would like me to go by bus
Mohamad Iqbal. or use the other route but it is too far. My friends and
I are extra cautious while crossing on the pipe,’ said
Fourth-former Mohamad Muzri Mat Sari, 16, Form Two pupil P. Sivaraman.
recalled the day when he fell off the pipe and broke
his arm. ‘We not only have to use the pipe in the morning
but also in the afternoon when we go for extramural
‘It was in the morning and while I was half way activities.’
along the pipeline, I slipped and fell. Thank God I
did not fall into the river and I am lucky to be alive,’ ‘We always make it a point to return before dusk,’
Mohamad Muzri said. added Sivaraman.

Several pupils admitted that it was a hazard to   Source: the New Straits Times, 8 July 1994 
cross along the pipeline but preferred doing so

Unit summary

In this unit you have reviewed the objectives:
• demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
• demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
• analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate

support from the text
• articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
• organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
• use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
• use register appropriate to context
• make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.

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CHAPTER 4
Writing
compositions

Units

11 Practical guidelines
12 Written coursework

148

11 Practical guidelines

In this unit you will:
H articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
H organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
H use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
H use register appropriate to context
H make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
This unit will focus on the following skills:

Writing

H express what is thought, felt and imagined
H organise and convey facts, ideas and opinions effectively
H demonstrate a varied vocabulary appropriate to the context
H demonstrate an effective use of sentence structures
H demonstrate an understanding of audience, purpose and form
H demonstrate accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.

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11 Practical guidelines

Introduction

Most English Language courses will require you to write in response to both
directed and imaginative writing tasks. Sometimes you will be working under timed
conditions, and this chapter looks at the special skills you will need.

For all your writing, you will need to show that you can:

» articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
» organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
» use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
» use register appropriate to context
» make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.

You will almost certainly practise writing compositions during your course. However,
there will be some circumstances in which you will be facing additional challenges
and this chapter will help you meet them.

Key terms 11.1  Some practical guidelines

Narrative: Narrative In the following sections we consider the main challenges you might face:
writing is writing
that tells a story, » Challenge 1: You don’t know what the topics will be.
either imaginative » Challenge 2: You have to write within a time limit.
or true. » Challenge 3: You have to write to a particular length.
Descriptive: » Challenge 4: There’s only one chance to get it right.
Descriptive writing
is a type of writing As well as advice about how to overcome these challenges, this section also
that gives a clear contains articles about two key topics: the importance of punctuation, and spelling.
and concise
description of a It is suggested that you read and discuss the points made in these articles either
place, person, in small groups or as a whole-class discussion, in order to familiarise yourself with
object or event. the principles that they present.

Challenge 1: You don’t know what the topics will be

You will not have had the opportunity to prepare the subject of your writing in
advance because you won’t know what you will be asked to write about until you
see the question.

From experience throughout your course, you should have a good idea of the type
of composition you are best at writing. This should help you to choose which topic
to write about in an examination.

This may not be the topic that immediately looks most attractive – remember
that you only have to write a couple of pages, and if you choose a ‘favourite’ topic
you may find that you have too much to say and your composition is in danger of
becoming too long and unstructured.

Topics can fall into two categories: narrative and descriptive.

Study tip
Choose your topic on the basis of two points:
1 Your skills – think carefully about which type of writing you are most successful at (especially

under timed conditions).
2 Your interest in the topic and any experience of your own that enables you to comment on

it – but still make sure you focus really closely on the question. Your own experience can be an
inspiration, but don’t let it become a distraction!

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11.1  Some practical guidelines

Challenge 2: You have to write within a
time limit

Sometimes you need to complete your composition within a
certain period of time: which is usually about one hour.
The time limit means that planning is even more important
than usual, not less! Make a skeleton plan of the main
points that you intend to include before you start to write.
Doing this will show you whether you have enough to say
about the topic, as well as providing you with a paragraph
structure. It is worth spending ten minutes on your plan.

Study tip

1 Don’t write full sentences in your plan, just brief notes. Note down one key idea per paragraph,
backed up by very brief notes on how you will explain or argue that idea. Overall, five to eight
paragraphs should be adequate, plus …

2 Your conclusion. Don’t forget to include this in your plan; it is a very good idea to know how you
intend to finish the composition before you start to write it!

3 You could use a spider diagram to sort out your ideas for your composition. There is an example
on page 164.

Key terms Challenge 3: You have to write to a particular length

Expression: The Sometimes your writing will need to be a particular length. When this is the case,
vocabulary you you need to be aware of the word count and consider it when planning and writing
use in your writing your composition to make sure you include everything you want and need to say in
and the accuracy a concise way. It is also sometimes acceptable to write slightly less than the word
of your spelling, count, as long as the expression, content and structure of your composition are of
punctuation and the required standard.
grammar.
Content: The Similarly, you are not likely to be penalised if you exceed the suggested word
subject matter of limit, but by doing so you are increasing the chances of making careless slips and
your writing. errors, which may be self-penalizing. (Example 1 on pages 155–57 is a very good
Structure: The example of a student successfully writing more than required.)
overall organisation
of your writing If you plan your composition carefully, staying clearly focused on the topic, you
and your use of should not have much difficulty in keeping to the suggested length.
paragraphs to
support this. Challenge 4: There’s only one chance to get it right

When you write compositions as part of your schoolwork you have the opportunity
to produce a first draft, which you can revise and improve until you are satisfied
that the final product is as good as you can possibly make it, but that’s not always
the case. In some instances, you’ll only have time to write one version, so it’s
important to allow time for certain important checks.

We all make technical errors of spelling, punctuation and expression at times,
and such errors are much more likely to occur when you are writing under these
conditions. Stress can lead to mistakes! It is important to check through your work
so that you don’t make this type of avoidable error.

Try to keep at least five minutes when you’ve finished writing to check your work.
Check:

» spelling
» punctuation
» paragraphing
» tenses.

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11 Practical guidelines

A few mistakes are inevitable but checking through your work should help you to
spot most of them.

Finally, make sure your writing is clearly legible – if you write a brilliant piece
that can’t be read, it won’t have the same impact.

11.2  Writing the composition

The main concern of those reading your
work will be to assess how effectively
you can convey your thoughts about
your chosen topic using written Standard
English. Your readers will want to be
interested in what you have written. The
more easily they can understand your
ideas, the more effective your writing
will be.

Always try to see your work from the
reader’s point of view!

Expressing your ideas

Remember that you will be assessed
for how you have expressed your ideas
as well as for what you have written.
Examinations test your ability to communicate in written English; they do not test
the level of your imagination and creativity.
Look back at Unit 4 for some basic reminders about how to structure your work
and keep the level of accuracy in your writing as high as possible. Below are a few
more guidelines that are particularly useful when writing compositions.

Use paragraphs logically

Make sure that your writing is divided into paragraphs and that the paragraphs are
logically developed.
» The opening paragraph should provide a valuable introduction, both to the topic

and to the person writing about it; it should set the tone for the composition and
make clear the direction it is going to take.
» The middle section of the composition should be clearly structured and logically
sequenced.
» Your conclusion should show evidence of being clearly planned for and the
composition should finish with a positive conclusion.
The more simply, the more clearly and the more precisely you communicate your
ideas to the reader, the better your piece of writing will be.

Write in complete sentences

While you are writing your composition, always try to think in complete sentences;
never start to write a sentence until you know how it is going to finish.

Make sure you use full stops to separate sentences correctly. Showing a secure
ability to separate sentences correctly will help you to organise your ideas, which
will make it easier for the reader to follow your writing.

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11.3  Features of a good composition

Take care with punctuation

A common error is to confuse the use of commas with the use of full stops.
Other serious punctuation errors result from misunderstandings about how to use
the apostrophe and how to use inverted commas to punctuate direct speech. Make
sure you know how to use these punctuation marks correctly and check them when
you have finished your composition.

Check your spelling

You will be penalised if you misspell, or confuse, basic vocabulary (there/their; too/
to/two; quite/quiet, etc.), or if you spell simple words in more than one incorrect
way.

Nevertheless, you should not let your worries about spelling prevent you from
using what you know is the best word for the job. A reader will usually recognise the
word you intend to use, even if it is incorrectly spelt. Although it may be noted as a
spelling error, you are likely to be given credit for choosing and knowing how to use
the word in the first place.

Look at Unit 9 to remind you about spelling.

Exercise 1

Here are 10 pairs of words that are frequently confused by students, especially
when writing compositions under examination conditions. Write short sentences
using each word in each pair correctly.

accept/except allude/elude

altogether/all together clothes/cloths

conscience/conscious elicit/illicit

hoard/horde lightning/lightening

patience/patients quiet/quite

11.3  Features of a good composition

You will be relieved to know that making a technical error does not automatically
ruin the success of your composition.

As mentioned earlier, your composition will be judged by impression (a process in
which the reader balances the positive and negative qualities of your writing in his/
her mind in order to decide on the mark that should be awarded). The main positive
features for which you will be credited are:
1 The ability to structure and organise your ideas clearly.
A well-controlled, well-developed composition with a positive opening and a

strong conclusion will usually be well received.
2 A wide range of appropriately used and precise vocabulary.
This does not mean that you should fill your composition with the longest and

most complicated words you can think of. On the contrary, it means that you
should have a clear understanding of what you are going to say and a good
vocabulary, so that you can choose the right word to convey the exact shade of
meaning that you want.
3 A good range and variety of sentence types and structures.
A good range and variety of sentence types and structures helps to avoid

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11 Practical guidelines

Key terms monotony in your writing. Try not to let every sentence take the same form, or to
begin each paragraph with sentences of the same pattern.
Monotony: Lack of To do well in your composition you need to show evidence that you can handle
variety in tone and complex sentences confidently. However, the ability to use short, simple, direct
sentence structures. sentences when your composition requires it is also important. So, vary the length
and type of your sentences (compound, complex, simple) to suit your meaning.
Compound
sentence: A 11.4 But what do I write?
sentence consisting
of two or more We have been concentrating on how rather than what to write. You may be
main clauses linked wondering about content. Content is certainly important, but some students tend to
by coordinating worry too much about it and create unnecessary problems for themselves. The main
conjunctions points to remember are:
(e.g. The teacher 1 Be realistic.
explained the You do not have time to write a novel during an examination and you will not be
problem and then
gave the class a expected to do so. So, don’t make things more difficult for yourself by trying to
practice exercise). think of obscure or totally original ideas: the originality of your writing will be
found mainly in the way you express yourself.
2 Keep it clear and simple.
What you write should be well planned, carefully structured and organised, and
clearly focused on the topic you have chosen. Your main intention should be to
think how best to use language to put across your ideas as clearly and as vividly
as you can. Keep what you write simple and manageable; base your content on
and within your own experience and you won’t go far wrong.

Exercise 2

English is rich in synonyms. A good writer will always try to choose the most
suitable word to convey a precise meaning. Write sentences for each of the words
in each of the groups below to show that you have understood the different shades
of meaning they contain.
1 Sad; mournful; forlorn; gloomy; morose
2 Difficult; demanding; intricate; painful; troublesome
3 Speak; converse; mutter; proclaim; talk
4 House; dwelling; habitat; home; mansion

11.5  Examples of students’ work

Here are three sample student compositions written under timed conditions. Read
them through carefully. You might like to think about how successful each is before
you read the teacher’s analysis that follows it. Example 1 is a narrative essay;
Example 2 is argumentative; and Example 3 is descriptive. All three essays are
followed by Teachers’ comments.

The original spellings and punctuation have been retained and major errors of
spelling, punctuation and expression have been indicated.

It is important to remember, however, that in an examination you will
be credited for positive merits of style, vocabulary and so on, as much as
penalised for errors.

For this reason, it is unlikely that every error made by a student would be
indicated and the marking of the following examples reflects this principle.

154

11.5  Examples of students’ work
a

Practice exercises

Read through each of the compositions that follow and take note of the indications of
errors that are noted. For at least one of the compositions complete the following tasks
before reading the Teacher’s comments.
• Write down the correct spelling of the words indicated as incorrect (if you are unsure of

the correct spelling, use a dictionary to check).
• Make sure that you understand why punctuation has been shown as being incorrect and

write down a corrected version of the text containing the errors.
• Write an explanation of why the expression has been indicated as incorrect in places and

then write an improved/corrected version of what the writer intended to say.
• Write one or two paragraphs commenting on the overall qualities of the composition –

in particular, think about: how well it is structured through the use of paragraphs; the
range and suitability of the vocabulary and sentence types used; the focus on the topic
and the length of the composition (for example – has the writer spent too long on one
idea with the result that the overall composition is unbalanced or has the writer tried to
cram too many ideas into too few words?).
• Once you’ve answered all these points, say what marks you think the composition
deserves (good pass, pass, borderline, fail – you don’t need to be too precise!).
• Finally, compare your comments with those of the teacher that follow the composition.

Example 1

Write a story in which severe weather conditions play a significant part.
Key
Errors of expression
Spelling/punctuation errors

Student’s example

The perpetual wailing of the Hawaiian winds was no novelty to the professor, a
veteran scientist whose name was renound in the field of meteorological studies.
Seated on a brown leather eighteenth-century chair, the hollow cries of wind
outside were a constant reminder that weather was supreme. Though the powerful
evening breeze could uproot the studiest of trees, however, it could not touch the
thin delicate clouds of smoke rising from Professor Dean’s pipe, a thought at

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11 Practical guidelines

Wrong word (‘secret’) which he could not suppress a smile. It was to him, ironic that he was the creator
Repetition of the ‘Typhoon Eye’, a secretive government project under his authority. Outside
the complexe, atop a remote mountain on the island of Waikiki, in the Hawaiian
Humorous Archipelago, the skies darkened as small droplets of cold rain began to fall on the
156 island from the heavens above. At sea, some distance away, a rumble of thunder
of thunder was heard, an omen of events to come.

Seated in his office, in serene relaxation, as thick smoke escaped from his lips,
a loud series of knocks at his door revived the tired Prof. Dean from his quasi-
slumber. ‘Come in’, he called with a bored tone of voice.

The hinges creaked with a dull sound as a tall, youthful figure entered in the
office clad in thick clothes and a clean white labcoat.

‘Oh, what is it, my boy?’ inquired the professor without turning to face his guest.

‘I just came to tell you, sir, that our guest from Washington is anxious to activate
the device’ replied the young assistant.

Are all preparations complete?’

‘They are, sir.’

‘Well then’, continued the arthritic, greying scientist, ‘I’ll be there shortly.’

With a nod, the youth left, carefully shutting the door as he egressed. Removing
his cashmere jumper and preparing to don more formal attire, Prof. Dean glanced
outside his window. He saw a tangled mass of tropical trees, swaying in the
wind. Evidently a hurricane of some sort was indeed approaching.

‘Welcome to Command Central. Please Indentify yourself.’

Walking through the dimly lit corridoors as he was observed by the highly
disciplined guards which flanked the hallway, Prof. Dean reached into his pocket
and inserted his access card into a brightly-lit panel.

‘Thank you, Professor Gordon H H Dean …’ replied the wall in a mechanistic
tone of voice. The thick titanium doors shuddered open. Walking through them,
he entered a new environment all together: at Command Central, several dozen
scientists and researchers were hastily preparing for the prototype test. Moving
back and forth between the project itself, a huge device named the ‘Typhoon Eye’
and the terminals of advanced computers which controlled it, the men moved with
almost robotic efficiency. No voice could clearly be heard, sideline conversations
and idle chattering darted chaotically across the room.

‘Professor, you’re here at last!’ cried an enthusiastic diplomat seated some
distance away.

Emerging from the trance the mayhem of the room had caused him, Dean
recognised him as Murray Bunton, their liaison to Washington.

‘We’re ready to activate the device!’ he said as the room fell silent.

After a brief pause, Dean moved towards the main control module and pressed the
large button labelled ‘BEGIN’.

11.5  Examples of students’ work

Effective short paragraph Immediately the device shook and emitted many sounds.

Standing dumb in awed silence, the scientists let out a collective cheer.

‘This is a great moment for mankind’, whispered Bunton, ‘Now, at last, men
control the weather! With this device, mankind can manipulate the elements to
our advantage!’

The atmosphere slowly ionised the surrounding area, releasing strange types of
energy in all directions.

After toasting to their success with glasses of Martini, the group retired for the
night, expecting a clear sky the next day.

Awoken from his sleep, Dean stumbled out of bed to replace his clothes. Looking
at his clock with sluggish, blood-shot eyes, it read five o’clock in the
morning.

‘Hurry, Professor!’ came the voice again.

Rushing through the security doors, his eyes were greeted by a room of
haunting silence, the only sounds a series of murmurs from the main control
panel operators. Outside a terrifying clap of thunder roared across the ocean.

‘What’s happened?’ inquired the professor, highly concerned despite his condition.

There he was told that far from dissipating the storms, Typhoon Eye had had the
reverse effect. Tropical cyclone ‘Lethea’ was now being drawn to Waikiki.

‘How could this happen?’ demanded Bunton, still half-dressed.

Silence was his only reply.

Some time later the weather outside continued to worsen. The room was deserted, a
collection of empty chairs and dysfunctional machines with paper strewn all over
the floor. And of course, there was me, the youthful scientist who had summoned
the Professor to Command Central. I had stayed behind too, when offered a chance
to evacuate. I could not deny my own responsibility for this disaster.

Outside, the cyclone had once again grown in strength, and had wiped out
everything in the Hawaiian Islands.

The storm would remain here, its source of strength was this island, as it had
now been polarised and filled with this energy. The storm would grow, slowly but
surely gaining strength, eventually covering the entire planet.

Having gone to fetch some coffee, I heard a sudden gun shot, and a dull thud.
I collapsed in a corner and wept. I could not bear to see the professor’s corpse.

Outside, the storm began to tear the building apart. I would soon be dead. As the
outside breeze slowly infiltrated the room from holes in the roof, I pondered on
man’s underestimation of the wind. And now I realised that I had as well.

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11 Practical guidelines

Teacher’s analysis

This composition is a long (946 words) but well-sustained narrative. This
is obviously written by a student who enjoys writing and has relished the
opportunity to entertain the reader. It opens forcefully, and immediately engages
the reader’s attention. The vocabulary is wide, varied, ambitious and fully
appropriate. The writer uses a good range of sentence structures and types: there
are well-controlled complex sentences, for example:

Outside the complex, atop a remote mountain on the island of Waikiki, in the
Hawaiian Archipelago, the skies darkened as small droplets of cold rain began to
fall on the island from the heavens above.

and some effectively used short, simple sentences, for example: ‘Silence was his
only reply.’

The writer has chosen to write a long and involved narrative and does so with
confidence. There is no doubt that this writer is consciously trying to impress
the reader with his/her mastery of the English language and he/she does so in
particular through a plentiful use of adjectives (‘The arthritic, greying scientist’)
and a deliberate use of literary language (‘Preparing to don more formal attire’),
although, in places, this approach is somewhat overdone. It is an extremely
confident piece of writing; there is a clear narrative flow which is emphasised by
the controlled use of long and short paragraphs for effect.

Direct speech is used convincingly and correctly punctuated, apart from
a tendency to misplace commas (‘ “This is a great moment for mankind”,
whispered Bunton’), and the writer is not afraid to risk a humorous touch
(‘replied the wall’). The composition is not without blemishes, both of spelling
(renound, complexe, studiest) and expression (‘Seated in his office … a loud
series of knocks’) but these weaknesses are very much the product of first-
draft writing and the writer’s ambition. They do not impede the reader’s
understanding and are more than compensated for by the composition’s many
merits, not least the way it remains clearly focused on the title throughout. The
story is original and well developed.

Perhaps the most disappointing part of the composition is the end: the writer
could obviously have written more had there been more time, but what is here is a
most impressive achievement for the limited time available, and it is likely that
this piece of writing would be assessed as a good top level response.

Example 2

‘The only worthwhile thing in life is going to parties.’ What are your views?

Student’s example

I reckon this statement is rubbish. Many factors influence me in beleiving this
way. As much as partying is fun it can equally be exhausting and unhealthy
in some cases. By, keeping on partying, you are causing a huge deteriaration in

158

11.5  Examples of students’ work

Two words not one your health which could inturn be quite life threatening.

Two words not one At the age of fi fteen, partying may seem the most worthwhile thing to do in life
Wrong word as an adoloscent, but looking ahead to the future, it does indeed seem quite bleak
Two words not one for someone partying all the time at this age.

A student that party’s all day is certainly not going to get good marks in their

examination, and this inturn will refl ect upon the student’s causes. A bit of

common sense and atwhearmenaeinssoobfje✓tchteivpereisseantttshiitsupaotiinont is all that is needed to
realise exactly what of our lives. Studies should

unduly be the priority right now. Ofcourse socialising is another aspect of life

that is quite important as inter-personal communications and relationships

could bceomdemmiatmndeendtsalhlaovuertloivovese,rsbhuat✓dioswitorueralwlyhotlhe efuprtiuorreitiynrfirgohnttnofowu?s?DIo wouour ld
social

say not. When the time comes to party, you can party but it is definitely not the

only worthwhile thing in life at the adoloscent age of fifteen.

Opinattrhetelylreitcnhtgu✓anawloltyuhelndhubemaeljtbohywffoauucllt.doBrsuaatnyodnthtlhyaetseiodtmuisceaotnhtieeonOwNhfaoLcYitsowre,iotIrhwtehorwuphledirliebpehtlhe✓irienavleglytthoabdltionidnolrife.
How many years will you party for? Is it going to get you anywhere in life? I
would’nt think so. ‘Going to parties’ may seem as ‘fun’ at the time but in the
long term, I really doubt as to how far in life it is really going to help you.

Also, most parties occur during nights and drag on till midnight or past. This
will be a huge drain of energy from the party goer’s part. It is definitely worth it
at the time, but the after-effects are rather disturbing and uncomfortable.

Is it really worth wasting your whole life that way? Especially at this age,
I would reckon, that it is much more of a use to prioritise as to what is
worthwhile now, now instead of regretting it in the future.

Teacher’s analysis

This composition begins with a forceful and unambiguous opening which is
expressed directly but is not entirely appropriate in its tone of voice: ‘I reckon
this statement is rubbish.’ As the composition develops, it becomes clear that the
writing is poorly organised.

The writer possesses quite a wide vocabulary, but it is not always used with
precision (‘Studies should unduly be the priority right now.’). The word the
student should have used is ‘undoubtedly’ or ‘indubitably’.

Some statements, which sound linguistically quite impressive if read
superficially (‘inter-personal communications and relationships could be
demanded all our lives’) do not make clear sense on closer reading.

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11 Practical guidelines

The development of the writer’s argument is uncertain and lacking in cohesion;
the ideas, although potentially interesting, are underdeveloped. The end of the
penultimate paragraph is a good example of this; more details could have been
included as to how the after-effects are disturbing and uncomfortable – the
writer’s meaning has not been made entirely clear to the reader.

There are several technical errors of spelling (beleiving, alchoholic, adoloscent)
and expression (‘ “Going to parties” may seem as fun.’). The inappropriate tone
of the opening sentence has already been referred to and this over-colloquial
approach appears at other points throughout the writing, where it sits rather
inconsistently with some over-formal expressions (‘Many factors influence me’),
with the result that the work lacks a clear focus on the audience.

The reader is required to re-read paragraphs to understand fully what the writer
is trying to say, with the result that communication becomes blurred. The whole
of the third paragraph is a good example of this.

This piece of writing is an ambitious attempt but, in this case, the writer lacks
the linguistic security to communicate the ideas clearly. The ending is also
disappointing as the writer has run out of time and has not managed to produce
a satisfactory conclusion. This student has made a fundamental mistake: he/
she has chosen to write a difficult type of composition (an argumentative one)
and has made the task harder than it need be. Had he/she chosen a descriptive
or narrative topic, the outcome would most probably have been more successful,
as less time would have had to be spent on constructing arguments and more
time would have been available to concentrate on making the most of the writer’s
positive merits of vocabulary. The material which was written is a less than
successful attempt at the topic.

Example 3

You are in a place which makes you feel uncomfortable. Describe the place, and your
feelings and reactions.

Student’s example

‘No, please, do not tell her that. I would not want to make fear and unnatural
horror the inmates of her heart.’ This incomplete sentence had sent shivers up my
spine and, as I lay on the freshly made guesthouse bed, I wondered if the room
concealed some sort of gruesome secret which the guesthouse owner didn’t want
the receptionist to reveal. Was it haunted? Did someone die here? The words had
alarmed me but I decided that I was a girl of courage and wouldn’t bend beneath
mere words.

The room was small and quiet, at the end of the guesthouse hallway. It had
a musty smell, like the smell of a page in an old book. I found the smell
intriguing at first, and thought that it added to the mysterious aura of the
place. The room’s walls were of a brilliant peach colour and there was a glittering
chandelier at the very centre of the ceiling – but the rest was bereft of any

160

11.5  Examples of students’ work

characteristic furniture or accessories, except for the large double bed and a
wooden-framed mirror. The windows were large and the Verdigris-caked latches
made me wonder if the room had ever been used – is that what they were hiding
from me? What had happened in here that they did not want me to know about?
I opened the windows to let some fresh air in, hoping it would clear my mind
which was replete with questions and confusion. The outlook was amazing – I
could see the garden from my room, and gazing upon the well-watered, emerald
green lawn quietened my thoughts for a moment. I turned back to the room and
noticed something peculiar on one of the gables – some dark, viscous liquid was
dripping down the wall. I moved closer to investigate – is it blood? I wondered. I
felt the liquid with my fingers; it was not blood; it smelt sweet and I thought it
was maple syrup or molasses. I chuckled at my fears and licked it off my index
finger. The familiar, coppery taste was, however, unmistakable – it really was
blood! I turned back from the corner and saw that the walls were now covered in
the same dark liquid, the taste of which still swirled in my mouth.
I rushed to the door and tried to open it but it simply wouldn’t budge. I feared
what I would see when I turned back and faced the room would paralyse me and
so I closed my eyes and, using my hands as a guide, I walked to the bed as my
heart thudded in my chest. I opened my eyes and felt the colour drain away from
my face. The room was as if in mint condition –; the blood, the gables – there was
no sign of the dark liquid that had flowed minutes before except for the crust
around my fingers and the unforgettable coppery taste.

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11 Practical guidelines

Key terms Teacher’s analysis

Argumentative: This is an extremely competent piece of descriptive writing, with no serious errors of
Argumentative spelling or punctuation. Although this is a descriptive topic, the writer has taken a
writing is when a narrative approach and this has helped with the structure and focus of the account.
writer puts forward Setting a piece of descriptive writing within a narrative framework can very often
and justifies a result in the needs of the story taking over from the requirement to describe but this
particular point of writer has concentrated closely on the requirements of the question – to describe
view, either for or both the place and the narrator’s feelings and reaction to it – and has been very
against a proposal. successful in doing so.
Discursive: In
discursive writing The opening snatch of dialogue effectively prepares the reader for the sense of
the purpose may mystery which is soon to develop. The careful choice of descriptive details in the
be to convince opening paragraphs (the ‘musty smell, like the pages in an old book’; ‘the Verdigris-
or persuade the caked’ window latches) effectively complement the direct questions through which
reader about the writer conveys the thoughts and reactions of the narrator (‘Was it haunted?’; ‘Is
the importance that what they were hiding from me?’). The vocabulary is precise and aptly chosen
of a particular without being over-ambitious or obscure (the ‘familiar coppery taste’), punctuation
belief or simply to is used skilfully to control the reader’s response to events (for example, dashes are
present all sides well used to emphasise and draw attention to key details), and the writer varies
of an argument sentence structures and pace to engage the reader and increase the tension.
by comparing or
contrasting two Overall, this is a very good piece of writing. Perhaps the mystery with which the
or more things description concludes could have been developed with a little more detail which
or by presenting would have reinforced the surprise effect, but it must be remembered that this was a
arguments for or response written under timed conditions and this is an acceptable blemish in what
against the topic. is a very well written response.

162 11.6  Practise writing a composition

Now that you have looked at some sample student compositions, here are some
titles which you can use for practice. To help you, we have indicated next to each
topic whether it is narrative, descriptive or argumentative. (In some cases, you will
notice, the same topic could lend itself to more than one approach.) Two of the
topics are discursive, which means you can approach the question in any way you
choose.

Exercise 3

1 ‘Television is a bad influence; it stops people thinking and ruins family life.’
What are your views about the value of television? (Argumentative)

2 Which is your favourite day of the week and why? (Descriptive)
3 Write a story beginning with the words ‘The noise was growing louder and

louder,’ and ending ‘And then there was silence.’ (Narrative)
4 What have you taught yourself that is not taught at your school?

(Argumentative/Descriptive)
5 Do we spend too much time watching sports instead of playing them?

(Argumentative)
6 Describe a place you know well at two different times of the day. (Descriptive)
7 ‘Castles in the air’. Write in any way you like about this topic. (Discursive)

11.6  Practise writing a composition

8 Write a story called ‘The Empty House’. (Narrative)
9 ‘Decisions’. Write in any way you like about this topic. (Discursive)
10 What do you think are the greatest challenges facing young people today?

(Argumentative)
11 Describe your favourite shop and some of the people who work there.

(Descriptive)
12 ‘A Journey I Will Never Forget’. (Narrative)

Study tip
You can plan your compositions in different ways. For example, you can produce a straightforward
skeleton plan or use a spider diagram. Examples of both types of plans are shown below – they
relate to the first two questions in the list above.
Don’t feel that you should always plan your writing using the same type of plan – you may well
find that a skeleton plan is best suited to an argumentative essay where points follow each other
in a logical order, and a spider diagram is more suited to a descriptive essay where you are taking
a more impressionistic approach to the topic.
You could use these example plans as the basis for writing your own practice composition, and
then as models for writing your own plans for other compositions. Remember, the points in each
plan should provide you with the topic sentences for your paragraphs. It is up to you to add the
details which make the paragraphs interesting!

Examples of composition plans

Skeleton plan for Question 1: ‘Television is a bad influence; it stops
people thinking and ruins family life.’ What are your views about the value
of television?

Introduction: General comments on TV; its popularity, ubiquity; it is now a focal point in most
households; it has become a major part of our lives.
Points against: It stops conversation and limits communication among people; it can cause
family arguments over what to watch; it stops families doing more constructive things together;
many of the most popular programmes are superficial; it is very easy to become addicted to
certain programmes (soap operas, etc.) with the result that studies take a back seat; it tells you
what to think.
Points for: It provides company for people who are on their own; it brings news and sporting
events direct into the home and allows you to feel as though you are present at them even if they
are on the other side of the world; it has some educational value – in fact, something can be learnt
from most programmes; it can develop and refine one’s analytical powers; it provides a ready
topic of conversation with your friends.
Conclusion: Sum up the main points made above, refer to my own experience and that of friends
and state conclusion about how much truth I think there is in the topic statement.

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11 Practical guidelines

Spider diagram plan for Question 2: Which is your favourite day of the week
and why?

Unit summary

In this unit you have reviewed the objectives:
• articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
• organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
• use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
• use register appropriate to context
• make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.

164

12 Written coursework

In this unit you will:

Writing to discuss, argue and/or persuade

H demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
H demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
H analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate

support from the text
H select and use information for specific purposes
H articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
H organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
H use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
H use register appropriate to context
H make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
This unit will focus on the following skills for writing to discuss, argue and/or
persuade:

Reading

H demonstrate understanding of written texts, and of the words and phrases
within them

H summarise and use material for a specific context
H develop, analyse and evaluate facts, ideas and opinions
H demonstrate understanding of how writers achieve their effects and

influence readers
H select appropriate information for specific purposes
H recognise and respond to linguistic devices, including figurative language.

Writing

H express what is thought, felt and imagined
H organise and convey facts, ideas and opinions effectively
H demonstrate a varied vocabulary appropriate to the context
H demonstrate an effective use of sentence structures
H demonstrate an understanding of audience, purpose and form
H demonstrate accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Descriptive and narrative writing

H articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
H organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
H use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
H use register appropriate to context
H make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
This unit will focus on the following skills for descriptive and narrative writing:

Writing

H express what is thought, felt and imagined 165
H organise and convey facts, ideas and opinions effectively
H demonstrate a varied vocabulary appropriate to the context
H demonstrate an effective use of sentence structures
H demonstrate an understanding of audience, purpose and form
H demonstrate accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.

12 Written coursework

12.1  Why do coursework?

The IGCSE First Language English Coursework component allows you to write
for different purposes and at greater length than that required by an externally
examined component, in which you are expected to write under the specific
conditions described in Unit 11.

With this type of writing you have the opportunity to plan and check your work,
and you can draft and redraft the piece of writing. You can be sure that, at the end
of the process, your work is as good as you can possibly make it. Remember that for
all your writing, you will need to show that you can:
» Articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined.
» Organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect.
» Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context.
» Use register appropriate to context.
» Make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
You might also need to respond to or use other texts. If this is the case, you need
to apply your reading skills and show you can:
» Demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings.
» Demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes.
» Analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate

support from the text.
» Select and use information for specific purposes.

What do you have to do?

The syllabus requirements for the Coursework portfolio (Component 3) for Cambridge
IGCSE® First Language English are that students submit a portfolio of three
assignments, each of about 500–800 words. The assignments may be completed in
any order and are extended pieces of writing, which allow you to demonstrate your
range of writing skills. These might include:
» A piece of writing to discuss, argue and/or persuade, in response to a specific

text. You will be required to respond by selecting, analysing and evaluating the
content of the text(s). This type of assignment would also test your reading skills.
» A piece of descriptive writing.
» A piece of narrative writing.
Now let’s consider the requirements.

Length

This type of writing task often gives you a suggested word count to help guide your
writing.

Remember that the word count is a guide, and you may decide to write fewer
words. Your pieces of writing need to be as long as is necessary to complete the task
and to demonstrate your range of writing skills. The quality of a piece of writing is
not judged by its length; in fact, writing that has started well can sometimes lose
its effectiveness and get worse the longer it goes on.

166

12.2  Assignment 2: The descriptive piece

Note Coursework assignments

Examples of In daily life we write for a variety of reasons. The assignments you’ll write in class
similar and will reflect the reality of how writing is used in everyday life and check your ability
different types of to write for different purposes and for different audiences.
writing can also
be found in Unit When writing an extended composition, remember to think about:
11. » Whom am I writing for in each piece?
» What is the purpose of each piece?
» Am I choosing pieces that are different from each other?
The first part of this unit contains advice for writing descriptions and narratives,
exemplar passages for both types of writing and examples produced by students.

The teacher’s annotations and comments on the students’ work are printed in
red, and the teacher’s overall analysis is printed in blue. The analysis of each piece
includes an indication of the level the work is at, so that you can see how the
different strengths and weaknesses in the writing can have an effect on the mark.

The remainder of the unit gives examples of the sort of reading material that
could be used as a basis for responding to a specific question or task, and some
suggestions for the sorts of texts that could develop from it.

In the samples that follow, there are examples of:
» writing to describe
» narrative writing.
As you make a start on your own coursework, consider these along with all the other
ideas that have been mentioned and decide on your own way forward.

The following section is included to help you prepare for extended written
activities and gives you the opportunity to practise writing on the same topic for
different audiences and in different genres.

12.2  Assignment 2: The descriptive piece

Descriptive writing tasks can cover a wide range of topics, such as places, buildings,
events, a person or animal, occasions such as a family celebration.

The important thing to keep in mind when producing descriptive writing is to
focus on describing the subject and not writing a story about it. For example, a
description of a family celebration should focus on describing the appearance and
behaviour of the guests, the room in which the celebration was held, and so on. You
should not make an account of what happened at the celebration the main element
of what you write.

Here are some key points to remember when you are writing to describe:
» Always try to base what you are describing on your personal knowledge; you cannot

give a clear picture of your subject to the reader unless you have a clear picture in
your own mind. However, you are in control of what you are writing and you can
change and distort details deliberately to create a particular impression.
» You need to decide on your standpoint before beginning to write: are you going
to write from a first-person viewpoint or are you going to adopt a more general,
impersonal approach? Once you have decided, be consistent throughout this piece
of writing.
» How are you going to structure your description? For example, you could take a
geographical approach and describe the scene from left to right, or from distant
to close at hand. You could decide to describe the subject at different times of

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Key term the day, or you could work through the different senses of sight, hearing, touch,
smell, taste. Whichever you choose, try to make the links between the different
Verb: A word used sections of your structure seem natural and not too mechanical.
to convey an action, » Don’t try to include every little detail which comes into your mind; be selective. If
state of being or you overload your description with details, your reader may well become confused.
occurrence and » Keep your reader clearly in mind at all times; you may know the person or place
forming the heart you are describing very well but it is unlikely that your reader will. It helps if you
of a sentence; for provide some brief context in which to set your description.
example, ‘The boy » Although your main purpose is to give a clear impression of your subject matter
ate the cake’,; ‘The to the reader, remember that it will make your writing more interesting if
caterpillar became a you come over as an interesting and reliable witness to it. You can do this by
butterfly’. including your own opinions and feelings about your subject. These feelings can
be conveyed very effectively by the words you use – it is not always necessary to
state your feelings directly.
» Although it is very tempting to write impressionistic descriptions by using
non-sentences, it is important that you use this technique selectively and use
complete sentences as well to show that the non-sentences are being used
deliberately for stylistic effect. If the whole description contains no verbs at all,
it just looks as if you do not know how to write!

Tips for descriptive writing

Adjectives

Adjectives are words that qualify (or describe) a noun.
As important tools for descriptive writing they should be chosen carefully. For

example, you can convey different shades of meaning depending on the adjectives
you use. To say, ‘My grandfather is an energetic, carefree man’ has quite a different
meaning from saying, ‘My grandfather is a thoughtful, careful man’. However, use
adjectives sparingly; too many of them can have the effect of slowing down your
writing for the person reading it.

Verbs

Verbs are words which express action or a state of being (for example, ‘he ran very
fast’; ‘he became angry’).

A verb is the most important word in a sentence and well-chosen verbs can
significantly increase the force and focus of your description. For example, consider the
different impressions given by the verb in each of these sentences: ‘The teacher strode
into the room.’ ‘The teacher crept into the room.’ ‘The teacher stormed into the room.’

Adverbs

Adverbs are words which modify (or add to the meaning of) verbs and, again, are
valuable tools in giving a precise description.

Consider the way the sense of the sentences below is affected by the use of
different adverbs: ‘The teacher strode purposefully into the room.’ ‘The teacher crept
cautiously into the room.’ ‘The teacher stormed furiously into the room.’

Similes

Similes are comparisons in which one thing is said to be like another and are
introduced by the words like or as. For example, ‘The swans glided on the water like

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stately sailing ships’; ‘the maths teacher had a face like a dried prune’. Both of these
similes make the description more vivid and the second also adds a slight touch of
humour to the writing.

Remember, if you use similes, there must be a clear point of comparison between the
two parts of the description and it is important that the comparison does not undermine
the effect you want to create. In a sentence like ‘The garden was as peaceful as a
graveyard’, the comparison with a graveyard implies that the garden was a rather cold
and deserted place which, judging from the pleasant word ‘peaceful’, is probably not the
impression the writer wanted to give; the atmosphere has become confused. Remember
also that it is important that you try to choose similes that are original and alive.

Comparisons such as ‘he ran like the wind’ and ‘fit as a fiddle’ have been used so much
that they have lost any vitality and mean no more than ‘he ran very quickly’ and ‘very fit’.
Such tired comparisons are known as cliches and a good writer will try to avoid them at
all costs.

Metaphors

Metaphors are comparisons in which one thing is expressed in terms of another –
in effect, a metaphor is a concentrated simile. They are an effective way to give
immediacy to your descriptive writing.

For example, ‘the rain fell like a waterfall’ is a simile, whereas ‘the waterfall of
rain washed away the soil’ is a metaphor. In it the rain becomes a waterfall rather
than the writer just saying it is like one, and the reader immediately associates both
ideas in their mind.

As with using similes in your writing, it is important that you make sure that the
metaphors you choose are both original and have clear points of comparison.

12.3  Example of descriptive writing

In the following passage, the writer describes the home and inhabitants of a Berber
family living in Tunisia. (The Berbers are the descendants of some of the earliest
inhabitants of North Africa.)

Keep in mind the key points about writing to describe found earlier in this unit
and note down examples of them in this passage. In particular, consider the way the
writer has included details to highlight his description.

El Haddej It’s some 30 metres long, and smells of fur and dung.
At its darkest point I run slap into a donkey, which
There is one cave which is still occupied and rents out is quietly munching away at some straw. Emerging
rooms, or cavities, perhaps. into the soft grey light of a courtyard, I see an elderly
The only entrance is through a dimly lit tunnel. man and two women waiting to welcome me. The
man’s name is Bilgessou. He stands straight-backed,
wearing a fine red skullcap and a knee-length brown
overcoat, his bearing matching a military-style silver
moustache. Next to him, in brightly coloured Berber
stripes, are his wife Manoubia and their daughter
Jemila. They stand almost motionless, like a tableau
waiting to be photographed.

After we have introduced ourselves, they pull aside a
palm wood door and usher me into a side room

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off the courtyard. The roof is a low, smoke-stained preserving the troglodyte way of life, except for the
vault, lit by a single bulb (there is electricity here, tourists. He extends an arm towards his wife. She has
but water has to be fetched from the well). Bilgessou never left El Haddej in her life. She can’t be expected
sets to work making tea on a calor gas stove, Jemila to change just like that.
sits down, revealing a bright and well-holed pair of
yellow stockings, and she and her mother set to work I’m handed a biscuit and a cotton cloth to put on my
rubbing the skins off peanuts and dropping them in knee to catch the crumbs.
a bowl. A rangy black and white cat appears from
the depths of the cave, is shooed away but holds its Anyway, he goes on, these troglodyte houses make
ground, eyeing the preparations. sense. They’re safe and secure, warm in winter and
cool in summer. The soft rock is easy to excavate, and,
Once the tea has been made and poured, as it is unlike the timber round here, there’s plenty of it.
throughout the Sahara, with a flourish from as far
above the glass as possible, Bilgessou takes the bowl When he stops, the silence returns, thick and heavy,
of nuts and scatters them on to a roasting tray, which deadened by the weight of the earth around us.
he lays on the fire. Most of this is done in silence, as
none of them speak French and I don’t speak Arabic, They show me my room. It’s across the courtyard
but Jemila has a sweet understanding smile and and up a flight of irregular stone steps, cut from the
somehow it doesn’t feel wrong to be silent. clay. The coffin-shaped entrance has decorated stone
dressings and inside is a vaulted space, some 6 metres
However, once the first glass of tea has been taken, deep, with just enough room to stand straight at its
Bilgessou begins to talk, in a powerful voice, with a centre. The walls have been plastered and painted
lot of barking, back-of-the-throat sounds. white at some time, but that’s faded now. A mattress
is laid along one side where the wall slopes down
The young don’t want to live in the caves anymore, he quite sharply. Dangerous if you wake suddenly in the
says. They’re moving above ground, tempted away by night.
ready-made houses in New Matmata. The authorities
don’t understand. They’ve shown little interest in Source: Sahara by Michael Palin,
Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 2002

12.4  Example of a student’s descriptive
writing

You find yourself in a crowd of strangers. Describe your thoughts and feelings.

Crowds are strange. People are brought together by violence, music, sports or even
loneliness. Crowds are beautiful, powerful, dangerous, destructive. Crowds come
together in peace, like ants who come to gather for an annual feast but disperse
almost immediately at any sign of danger.

I am alone in a crowd. There are people all around me of every age, race, religion,
gender and size. They are dancing to the loud thumping beat of the music, the
music I can feel rattling my bones, forcing me to move, but I don’t want to move
because I am alone. I weave through the crowd, worm my way out of any harmful
situation. Dancing with a stranger would be a fine example. I stand with my
back against the cool wall, the music being the only sign of being alive. My
heart stays still for the most part, thump, thump, silent, thump, thump, silent.
The crowd is unaware of me, the crowd doesn’t care. Youth has never been very

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12.5  Assignment 3: The narrative piece

kind to me, the crowd still scares me. Behind my eyelids I see a spectrum of neon
colours, similar to that of the dancefloor lighting but not as vibrant.

It’s odd, I think, the people around me are alive and welcoming but I don’t want
their warm touch. I open my eyes again, blink, blink, flash. I make eye contact
with a bright haired, bright eyed person from across the room. This person is not
dancing, but alive; I can see it, feel it. The stranger flashes me a bright white
smile and I wonder, did my heart just beat on its own?

The crowd is becoming blurry, there is no sign of danger, I just forgot about them
for a bit. The stranger weaves towards me through the fading crowd. The stranger,
unlike me, is not hiding away, but moving forward, to me.

My heart goes thump, thump, faster and not to the beat of the music. I am not
in danger and the stranger is getting closer, a sincere smile still etched on
their face. The lights, I now see, are brighter, more vibrant. The crowd is loud,
but I hear the quiet. The stranger is in my field of vision, right in front of me.
Thump, thump. I feel a small smile surface and the stranger laughs. Bright hair,
bright eyes and a bright white smile. The stranger says a quiet, ‘Hey’ and it’s
the loudest sound in the room. I am no longer alone in the crowd. I am my own
crowd.

Key terms Teacher’s comment: A high level response. Well focused on the topic and fluently
and accurately expressed.
First-person
narrative: A story Teacher’s analysis: This is a very well written and confident description. The writer
which is narrated has used a narrative structure as suggested by the wording of the task but has
by one character clearly focused in on describing the feelings of the narrator. The use of the present
describing the tense is very well handled as this is an approach that can be rather clumsy in the
events and thoughts hands of a less competent writer. The vocabulary used is precise and very clearly
that she/he conveys the narrator’s sense of insecurity amid the surroundings. Their writing
experiences and is almost entirely accurate and short sentences are very well used for effect – there
distinguished by the could, perhaps, be a little more variation of sentence types and length, but this
use of I or We. student is clearly a highly competent writer.

Third-person 12.5  Assignment 3: The narrative piece
narrative: A form
of storytelling in Writing narrative texts
which a narrator
relates all the action Narrative standpoint
using third-person
pronouns such as Before starting your story, you need to decide if you are going to write using a first-
he or she. A third- person or third-person narrative. Remember, a first-person narrative does not have
person narrative to be truly from the narrator’s own life, so a writer can use a first-person narrator
allows a narrator to where there is no intention of being autobiographical. It is just as likely that the
know the thoughts writer will have invented the character who is telling the story and imagined the
and feelings of all of situations he or she experiences.
the characters in a
story. Choosing to tell a story through a first-person narrator can have many advantages.
It means that the story will be told through the words and experiences of a single

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character (‘I’) but that the events described can, therefore, only be those in which
this character is in some way involved.

This approach has the advantage of allowing the reader to identify and
sympathise with the narrator quickly and closely and allows the writer to explain
the narrator’s thoughts and motivations directly. However, it is important for a
writer to be consistent in this approach and not to spoil the continuity of the
story by including incidents about which the narrator knows nothing, or which are
impossible.

A third-person narrative is when the writer chooses to describe the events in a
story from an impersonal viewpoint – the narrator has an overall, objective approach
to describing what happens and what characters are thinking, by using third-person
pronouns (he, she, they) or the characters’ names.

Such an approach allows the narrator to show a complete understanding of all
that happens to all the characters involved in the story – this is sometimes referred
to as an omniscient narrative approach – and perhaps allows for greater complexity
of structure than by using a first-person approach. Both types of narrative can be
used very effectively when writing a story.

Constructing a convincing and original story is not an easy task. Many students
fall into the trap of doing little more than reproducing a half-remembered and not
fully relevant story that they have read somewhere before. Writing a short story for
your own interest as a coursework assignment can be a very enjoyable and rewarding
activity, but to do it well requires much thought and preparation.

Tips for narrative writing

1 Try not to make your story too complicated; remember it is a short story and it is
a good idea to keep the events tightly focused. You need to engage your readers
immediately and ensure that they stay interested throughout. Too complicated
a plot is likely to lead to readers becoming unsure of what is happening – and
there’s always the danger that you might lose track of your ideas yourself!

2 Try to keep the content of your story to events which are or could be within your
own experience. It is much more difficult to write convincingly about things
that you do not know. This applies especially to the setting of the story and the
situations in which you place the characters. However, there is nothing wrong
with taking details of two different places that you know and combining them
in such a way that you produce a new, fictional town or village as the setting for
your story. Writing a narrative is a difficult task and you don’t want to complicate
things further by trying to create a completely imaginary landscape, for example.

3 Try to break up long sections of narrative with passages of direct speech.
Remember that direct speech can be an effective way of lightening a lengthy
narrative and can speed up the passing on of information to the reader. However,
writing direct speech effectively needs care and thought – you need to be
selective about what you decide to put into it and be fully confident in your
ability to punctuate it correctly.

4 Remember that there are only a limited number of potential plots and situations
for any story that you choose to write – it is important that what you write
reflects your individuality, but that can best be conveyed in the way you write.

5 Tone/register: The tone and register you use in your story will help to convey
the atmosphere of the story and, in the case of a first-person narrator, the
character and personality of the person telling the story. This is another means
by which key points can be communicated to the reader in an economical way.

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12.6  Example of narrative writing

The vocabulary and syntax used by the narrator of the story are also effective
means of establishing character, and the words used may also help to suggest the
atmosphere of the events you are describing.
6 Conclusion: It may sound silly, but the first thing you plan should be your ending.
Before you start writing you must know where and how you are going to finish.
When you plan the events of your story make sure that you have a clear picture of
how you intend it to conclude. It is up to you whether you want to tie up all the
loose ends of your story or whether you intend deliberately to leave your readers
guessing what may happen next. Both approaches are perfectly acceptable, but it
is important that you, as the writer, have planned for them – they may, of course,
come as a complete surprise to the reader!

Key term 12.6  Example of narrative writing

Genre: A category Here is a complete story, by one of the masters of the genre. It is short but it very
of literature: play, cleverly does all the things that a short story needs to do. It has a number of the
novel, short story, features of a short story that you might want to think about using in your own
etc. writing:

» It has a good opening which leads you to want to read on as questions are left
hanging: what practical joke will the narrator suffer at the hands of his friends?
Will there, in fact, be any joke played on him?

» It develops the situation effectively through direct recounting of the narrator’s
thoughts, ‘I was watchful, restless. I did not let a word or a meaning or a gesture
escape me’, ‘I was going perhaps to receive a cold shower-bath from overhead’.

» It leaves us wondering what the outcome will be, right up to the very end of the
story. However, even at this point we are still left wondering if there is more to
come and, now that the narrator is feeling secure, whether his friends will finally
play the practical joke which he thinks he has avoided.

An Uncomfortable Bed

by Guy de Maupassant

One autumn I went to stay for the hunting season with some friends in a chateau in Picardy.

My friends were fond of practical joking, as all my friends are. I do not care to know any other sort of people.

When I arrived, they gave me a princely reception, which at once aroused distrust in my breast. We had some
capital shooting. They embraced me, they cajoled me, as if they expected to have great fun at my expense.

I said to myself:

‘Look out, old ferret! They have something in preparation for you.’

During the dinner, the mirth was excessive, far too great, in fact. I thought: ‘Here are people who take a double
share of amusement, and apparently without reason. They must be looking out in their own minds for some
good bit of fun. Assuredly I am to be the victim of the joke. Attention!’

During the entire evening, everyone laughed in an exaggerated fashion. Instinctively, I smelled a practical joke
in the air. But what was it? I was watchful, restless. I did not let a word or a meaning or a gesture escape me.
Everyone seemed to me an object of suspicion, and I even looked distrustfully at the faces of the servants.

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The hour rang for going to bed, and the whole household came to escort me to my room. Why? They called to
me: ‘Good night.’ I entered the apartment, shut the door, and remained standing, without moving a single step,
holding the wax candle in my hand.

I heard laughter and whispering in the corridor. Without doubt they were spying on me. I cast a glance around
the walls, the furniture, the ceiling, the hangings, the floor. I saw nothing to justify suspicion. I heard persons
moving about outside my door. I had no doubt they were looking through the keyhole.

An idea came into my head: ‘My candle may suddenly go out, and leave me in darkness.’

Then I went across to the mantelpiece, and lighted all the wax candles that were on it. After that, I cast
another glance around me without discovering anything. I advanced with short steps, carefully examining the
apartment. Nothing. I inspected every article one after the other. Still nothing. I went over to the window. The
shutters, large wooden shutters, were open. I shut them with great care, and then drew the curtains, enormous
velvet curtains, and I placed a chair in front of them, so as to have nothing to fear from without.

Then I cautiously sat down. The armchair was solid. I did not venture to get into the bed. However, time was
flying; and I ended by coming to the conclusion that I was ridiculous. If they were spying on me, as I supposed,
they must, while waiting for the success of the joke they had been preparing for me, have been laughing
enormously at my terror. So I made up my mind to go to bed. But the bed was particularly suspicious-looking. I
pulled at the curtains. They seemed to be secure. All the same, there was danger. I was going perhaps to receive
a cold shower-bath from overhead, or perhaps, the moment I stretched myself out, to find myself sinking under
the floor with my mattress. I searched in my memory for all the practical jokes of which I ever had experience.
And I did not want to be caught. Ah! Certainly not! Certainly not! Then I suddenly bethought myself of a
precaution which I consider one of extreme efficacy: I caught hold of the side of the mattress gingerly, and very
slowly drew it toward me. It came away, followed by the sheet and the rest of the bedclothes. I dragged all these
objects into the very middle of the room, facing the entrance door. I made my bed over again as best I could
at some distance from the suspected bedstead and the corner which had filled me with such anxiety. Then, I
extinguished all the candles, and, groping my way, I slipped under the bedclothes.

For at least another hour, I remained awake, starting at the slightest sound. Everything seemed quiet in the
chateau. I fell asleep.

I must have been in a deep sleep for a long time, but all of a sudden, I was awakened with a start by the fall of
a heavy body tumbling right on top of my own body, and, at the same time, I received on my face, on my neck,
and on my chest a burning liquid which made me utter a howl of pain. And a dreadful noise, as if a sideboard
laden with plates and dishes had fallen down, penetrated my ears.

I felt myself suffocating under the weight that was crushing me and preventing me from moving. I stretched
out my hand to find out what was the nature of this object. I felt a face, a nose, and whiskers. Then with all my
strength I launched out a blow over this face. But I immediately received a hail of cuffings which made me jump
straight out of the soaked sheets, and rush in my nightshirt into the corridor, the door of which I found open.

O stupor! It was broad daylight. The noise brought my friends hurrying into the apartment, and we found,
sprawling over my improvised bed, the dismayed valet, who, while bringing me my morning cup of tea, had
tripped over this obstacle in the middle of the floor, and fallen on his stomach, spilling, in spite of himself, my
breakfast over my face.

The precautions I had taken in closing the shutters and going to sleep in the middle of the room had only
brought about the interlude I had been striving to avoid.

Ah! How they all laughed that day!

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12.7  Example of a student’s narrative writing

12.7  Example of a student’s narrative writing

Surviving Victim

The Galactic Empire was falling.

It was a colossal Empire, stretching across millions of worlds, millions of light years
apart. Its fall was colossal too – and a long one, as Hari Seldon had predicted …

The memories were fragmentary at first, as they always were … He had been
walking the dirty, scorched streets in silence since twilight first began to gather.
His steps were steady and monotonous. Pain streamed like liquid fire through
every cell of his body – but he locked it away in a corner of his mind, ignored it and
walked. It was all a shock to him. All was new. All was horrific.

Dim soft sunlight barely reached the soft black soil beneath his silent steps. Its
rays were blocked by fine glittering dust like mist on a humid day, only it
wasn’t. There was little, in fact nothing to please the eye in his surroundings. In
fact, it was the exact opposite. He looked to the falling dust in hatred and screamed,
‘Who and why?’ only it was as silent as his dead surroundings. Questions upon
questions, mysteries upon mysteries heaped themselves up in his mind, with this
question plaguing him as fiercely as the pain.

He continued, threading his way through the clatter and glitter of the streets,
thronged with shrivelled corpses clustered around the tawdry attractions offered
to space-weary visitors – everything from ordinary holoscreens to shadowy, semi-
illicit drug dives. Vegetation was grudgingly available, or what was left of it. Trees
were left bare and naked in the dim light as if to say ‘come what may come,’ only
it already came.

Broken, fleeting visions of landscape passed his mind as he had seen them from
his spaceship – a bleak inhospitable world, dominated by chill expanses of desert,
by towering ranges of rock-fanged mountains. His name was Elijah Bailey. It was
his world – the planet Aurora. It had had breathable air, with water, and vegetation
sprawled all over its surface. It also had had a variety of its own life forms – the
venomous reptiles of many weird shapes, the deadly jungle cats, the huge, horned
mammoths of the mountains, the tangled vine growths that fed on flesh – all alien
beasts, all threatening, all dangerously elegant. Now, this was non-existent. It was
now a dead and deadly world.

His memories were gathering pace now, and Elijah writhed in his chair, powerless
to stop his unconscious mind from forming images that he had re-lived so often
before, in horror and despair. Elijah Bailey’s memories shifted back, as they always
did, and the broken, fleeting visions gathered, held steady …

As he studied the face of the planet Aurora looming and filling his view-screen,
all seemed puzzlingly calm and normal. There was a faint, hazy aura round
the image of the planet and the spaceship’s sensors reported unknown radiation,
but Elijah discounted that as a possible minor malfunction of the screen and
the sensors, to do with the lack of repairs that resulted from the lack of funds the
falling Empire suffered from. The planet had been attacked and unknown radiation

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released over the entire surface. The planet was bathed in a glowing haze of lethal
radiation, in which everything and everyone that Elijah had loved had met their
deaths.

Now, Elijah’s face twisted, his body hunched, aching, torn with a fury that was
beyond bearing, a grief that was inconsolable, and a physical sensation – pain. It
seemed to emanate from his very bones – faint, but tangible and definite. A deep-
lying sensation of burning pain. Horror and savage rage tore at his sanity. But in
the end as the hours passed, something else – not intuition but a physical sensation
itself, from within his body – told him that even though he had survived, it was not
likely to matter to him for very long. He was to meet with his fellow victims of the
falling Empire soon. He was to meet them in nowhere but heaven – he was dying a
slow and painful death ...

The medic had made exhaustive tests. And the gloom that appeared on his face
was enough to tell Elijah the results. The radiation – from some altered isotope
unrecognised by either Elijah or the medic – had reached Elijah despite his wearing
a radiation-proof suit and settled in Elijah’s bones. There it was creating cellular
changes and breakdowns that were surely, inevitably, killing him now

‘A month more.’ Elijah remembered the space medic saying, ‘Two at the most.’

Time was now his most precious possession. Every minute gone was another step
towards the day – soon now as the medic had said – when the pain would grow
strong enough to batter down his control, when the radiation within him would
overwhelm and quench his life.

Elijah began looking forward to the end – not only as a release from the pain. It
would also release him from the memories that came to torment his nights, in which
he relived the terrible day when he thought he was rushing to visit his planet and
found he had come to join it only in death.

And it would release him from the despair which came with the growing realisation
that the Galactic Empire was certainly falling. Hari Seldon’s prediction was no
joke. But after all, who would think that such a powerful empire would disintegrate
to rubble.

The flavour of that anticipation reached into the memory, filled it, changed it. For
the first time in weeks, the surviving victim of the Empire’s fall sank deeper into
peaceful, undisturbed sleep, moving closer and closer towards his fate.

The fact was inescapable. It was that many more wars were happening, everywhere,
than should have been happening. Entire solar systems were erupting with violence.
A large industrialised planet would move suddenly and inexplicably attack a
smaller, under-developed neighbour. Alternatively, two small planets came to invade
– without clear cause – a third, and then after their victory fall out and fight
between themselves. Elijah had witnessed it right before his very eyes. Hari Seldon
had foreseen it. The Galactic Empire was falling. Its people had to accept it, as a
religion is accepted. No sane human could deny it.

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12.8  Assignment 1: Writing to discuss, argue and/or persuade

Teacher’s comment: A great response. An effective short story – well written and
making effective use of description. The student captures and sustains the genre.
Well done!

Teacher’s analysis: There are some delightful phrases in the piece of imaginative
writing which is a sophisticated piece of science fiction writing. We could pick out
so many but here is just one: ‘the venomous reptiles of many weird shapes’. What
is perhaps surprising is that this a first draft. Normally a second draft might have
improved the vocabulary and one or two of the ideas might be reworked but there is
no necessity for that here. This student understands science fiction writing and
can employ exactly the right tone.

Study tip

You can approach the process of drafting and redrafting in a variety of ways; remember that
redrafting does not mean just writing something out again and correcting any technical errors
that were in the first effort.

1 You might ask your teacher to read the first version and suggest whether any parts could be
improved. You could ask a friend or classmate to do the same. They might notice, for instance,
that in a story you have created one character rather more strongly than another, and you
might consider trying to give the second character more life. In an argumentative piece, you
might have presented one side of the argument very much more strongly than the other, and
you should try to balance them a bit more. Don’t expect your teacher or friend to tell you exactly
how to change your piece – it is, after all, your work and the final decision is up to you.

2 Try reading through the piece, asking yourself over and over again, ‘Is this sentence necessary
and is it as good as I can make it?’

Remember 12.8  Assignment 1: Writing to discuss,
argue and/or persuade
For this type of
task, you will need Sometimes you might be asked to write a text to discuss, argue and/or persuade in
to apply both your response to a text given to you by your teacher. For this type of task, you will need
writing and reading to respond by selecting, analysing and evaluating the content of the text(s).
skills, to show
how well you have There are no specific limitations as to the sort of material you choose to write
responded to ideas about (some possible examples are given later in this section), but your writing
in the text(s) you should meet the requirements to select, analyse and evaluate and to show how well
have chosen to write you have understood what you have read.
about.
The choice of passages is the responsibility of the centre and you, as the student.
You will also have the choice of how to present your response to the material.
As long as you keep the purpose for which you are writing clearly in mind, you can
choose to pursue it in any suitable format or genre which is appropriate.

What type of text(s) can I use?

You have a wide choice as to what texts you choose and where they come
from. However, it is likely that non-fiction and media material will best suit the
requirements of the syllabus.

You should make sure that whatever text(s) you choose are of adequate length
to contain sufficient ideas and details to allow you to respond to them as fully as
you can. In this assignment it is your response to the ideas in the text(s) that is
important.

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12 Written coursework

How should I present my writing?

You have the opportunity to present your writing in any form which is appropriate.
Whatever format you choose to use, however, you should think carefully about the
audience for whom you are writing and the tone and register of what you write. Here
are a few suggestions:

» An advertisement or series of advertisements for a particular product,
accompanied by an explanation of the techniques and devices you have chosen to
use in them and of how they are intended to appeal to their target audience.

» Your own newspaper article(s) or letters to a newspaper giving opposing views
about the material you have chosen to respond to.

» The words of a speech you would give either supporting or opposing the ideas in
your source material.

» A leaflet dealing with issues similar to those in your source material and aimed to
appeal to a particular audience.

» Your own travel guide/brochure written about an area you have visited or know
well (however, it must be related to the original in a recognisable way).

» The script of a radio discussion between two or three people responding to the
ideas and opinions in your source material.

» A straightforward piece comparing the ideas and opinions in your source material
and considering the methods used to communicate them to the chosen audience.

Warnings
1 Check work done on a computer. You are allowed to use a computer to produce your

coursework and many people do. There are, however, a few things to remember. A computer is
not the answer to all your linguistic problems. To use the spellcheck effectively, for example,
you have to have a clear idea of the word that you want. It is amazing how many students scan
the list of possibilities and pick the wrong word, so that what they end up with is nonsense.
The same applies to the grammar check. Computer checks are not a substitute for your own
knowledge.
2 Don’t copy! We all read things that influence us and, if the model that influences us is good,
it can have a positive effect. However, copying sections of other people’s writing is called
plagiarism and it is a form of cheating. Your teacher knows what your own writing is like
and will immediately question work that is very different. In the same way, although you are
encouraged to write in different styles, a moderator will be able to see quite easily if something
does not belong to you. Cheats are nearly always caught out. If you have used ideas from books
or the internet, remember to list your sources.

12.9  Examples of reading passages and
writing tasks

Here are some examples of reading material that could be used as a basis for some
coursework tasks, and some suggestions of tasks that could be set on them.

You might like to use these tasks in preparation for this assignment and think of
how you would approach them. You could also think of other suitable tasks that you
would like to do. After all, this is writing and you are in control of what you do.

However, whatever approach you choose to take, don’t forget that you will need
to demonstrate your understanding of the ideas you have read about in the source
passages as well as your writing ability in expressing your own thoughts.

Here we have a variety of stimulus materials suitable for students of different
levels of ability.

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12.9  Examples of reading passages and writing tasks

Example 1

Exercise 1

Read the job advertisement printed below and then do the following:
• Write your letter of application for the post and include your CV.
• Write a reference letter from a previous employer or headteacher.
• Write a letter to a friend saying what happened after you applied.

Secretary Required for Reliance Agencies

Responsibilities: Answering phone calls, typing documents, emailing, booking
meetings, computing and other basic secretarial skills.
Necessary Qualifications: A typing speed of 90 words per minute, and a
shorthand speed of 110 words per minute. Familiarity with an Apple Mac computer
system would be an advantage.
Terms of Appointment: A salary of K2000 per month (excluding bonus), working
days Mon–Fri, 8:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. One month paid holiday. A company car will be
provided. Benefits include a sickness scheme and insurance. You will be trained on an
upgrading scheme while you are in the job. You will be working in a modern spacious
office.
Closing date for receipt of completed applications is 18 May 2018.
For further details and application form, please write to Mr Peter Green,
Appointments Officer, Chayamba Building, PO Box 123, Lilongwe.
Tel: 654 321 123 456.

Example 2

The text below is an extract from a book in which the author describes a school
that he established. He explains the educational philosophy on which the school
was based. The ideas contained in this extract could start you thinking about issues
relating to education and be a springboard for a piece of writing on a related topic.

Exercise 2

Either
1 You have read the extract describing Summerhill School with great interest and

found some of the ideas very exciting. You would like to see them adapted and
applied to your own school. Write an article for your school magazine explaining
what you find interesting in these ideas and why you think they could be
applied successfully in your school.
Or
2 You disagree with the ideas in the passage. Write a letter to the author of
Summerhill in which you explain why you are not in favour of his ideas and
putting forward your own opinions as to what makes a successful school.

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12 Written coursework

Summerhill

When my first wife and I began the school, we had one main idea: to make the school fit the child – instead of making the
child fit the school.

I had taught in ordinary schools for many years. I knew the other way well. I knew it was all wrong. It was wrong because it
was based on an adult conception of what a child should be and how a child should learn. The other way dated from the days
when psychology was still an unknown science.

Well, we set out to make a school in which we should allow children freedom to be themselves. In order to do this, we had to
renounce all discipline, all direction, all suggestion, all moral training, all religious instruction. We have been called brave,
but it did not require courage. All it required was what we had – a complete belief in the child as a good, not an evil, being.
For over forty years, this belief in the goodness of the child has never wavered; it rather has become a final faith.

My view is that a child is innately wise and realistic. If left to himself without any adult suggestion of any kind, he will develop
as far as he is capable of developing. Logically, Summerhill is a place in which people who have the innate ability and wish
to be scholars will be scholars; while those who are only fit to sweep the streets will sweep the streets. But we have not
produced a street cleaner so far. Nor do I write this snobbishly, for I would rather see a school produce a happy street cleaner
than a neurotic scholar.

What is Summerhill like? Well, for one thing, lessons are optional. Children can go to them or stay away from them – for years
if they want to. There is a timetable – but only for the teachers.

The children have classes usually according to their age, but sometimes according to their interests. We have no new
methods of teaching, because we do not consider that teaching in itself matters very much. Whether a school has or has not a
special method for teaching long division is of no significance, for long division is of no importance except to those who want
to learn it. And the child who wants to learn long division will learn it no matter how it is taught.

Children who come to Summerhill as kindergarteners attend lessons from the beginning of their stay; but pupils from other
schools vow that they will never attend any beastly lessons again at any time. They play and cycle and get in people’s way, but
they fight shy of lessons. This sometimes goes on for months. The recovery time is proportionate to the hatred their last school
gave them.

  Source: from Summerhill by A.S. Neill, Pelican, 1985 

Example 3

This comprises two articles about theme parks.

Survey Shows Decline in Disney
Park Visitors

Following a period of growth in 2015, the world’s According to the eleventh edition of the report,
top theme parks have experienced a mixed year, overall attendance at Disney attractions was
according to the latest edition of the TEA/AECOM actually up by 2.5 million, though this was largely
Theme Index. due in part to the launch of Shanghai Disneyland,
which recorded visitor numbers of 5.6 million
For the world’s top 25 theme parks, attendance during its debut year.
declined 1.1 per cent, down from 235.6 million
visitors in 2015, to 233.1 million in 2016, with the Florida’s Magic Kingdom remains the world’s most
top operator – Disney – telling a similar story. visited park, with Disneyland California and Tokyo

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12.9  Examples of reading passages and writing tasks

Disneyland in second and third place respectively. driving park attendance, which was up 13.9 per
All three parks suffered attendance declines cent to 8.1 million from 7.1 million year-on-year.
however, with drops of 0.5 per cent, 1.8 per cent
and 0.4 per cent respectively. “Disney resources have lately been concentrated in
Asia, with Shanghai Disney Resort having opened
For the year Magic Kingdom welcomed 20.4 million in mid-2016,” said Brian Sands, vice president of
visitors, while Disneyland California drew 17.9 economics, The Americas, for AECOM.
million and Tokyo Disneyland 16.5 million. Disney’s
other parks included in the index all recorded “Meanwhile, Universal’s Harry Potter attractions
attendance declines, the largest being Hong Kong have been a powerful draw in both Hollywood and
Disneyland, which suffered a 10.3 per cent drop of Orlando. But Disney has new IP magic of its own to
700 000 visitors with 6.1 million visitors. deliver in its North American parks, most notably
the Pandora land (Avatar) at Disney’s Animal
Other operators however have fared better, with Kingdom, as well as the redesigned and renamed
Universal Studios recording attendance increases at Disney Springs retail-dining-entertainment area.
all of its parks, buoyed by new attractions and IPs For its part, Universal is also continuing to grow
including the continued phenomenal success of its domestically, with its new second gate in Orlando
Harry Potter worlds. – Volcano Bay – opening around the same time as
Pandora.”
Universal Studios Japan was ranked fourth for
attendance overall, with visitor numbers increasing The highest-ranked park outside of Disney and
from 13.9 million in 2015 to 14.5 million in 2016 Universal was Chimelong Ocean Kingdom, in
– a 4.3 per cent increase. Universal Studios in Zhuhai, China, in 12th, which increased attendance
Orlando also saw its numbers surge by the same by 13.2 per cent to 8.5 million visitors. Lotte World
percentage, up from 9.6 million to 10 million. The in South Korea ranked next in 14th, with an 11.5
neighbouring Island of Adventure park in Orlando per cent increase, while Everland, also in South
increased numbers by 6.5 per cent from 8.8 million Korea, was 16th.
to 9.4 million during the period.
For the world’s top 10 theme park groups, overall
Universal Studios Hollywood launched its new attendance was up 4.3 per cent, with numbers
Wizarding World of Harry Potter attraction in April rising from 420.4 million in 2015 to 438.3 million in
2016, with the boy wizard’s magic spell once again 2016.

Source: www.attractionsmanagement.com/detail.cfm?pagetype=detail&subject=news&codeID=332343

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12 Written coursework

How I Became That Weird
Theme Park Mom

By ELIZABETH ALTERMAN, JULY 7, 2017

I can hear the screams before I’ve I had been having some bittersweet remind them. Wasn’t I the one who’d
even found a parking spot. A heady moments watching my three sons, say, “Race you to the stars!” as we
mix of terror and exhilaration courses now 14, 11 and 9, growing up, growing hopped on swings in the playground
through my body and I know I’m not away from me and toward their behind the library, my long legs and
the only one in the minivan who feels friends and their futures. Lately, it their tiny ones pumping furiously
it. seemed my husband always got to be as we sailed toward the treetops?
the fun one, letting them stay up late Didn’t I encourage them to brave the
I tell my teenage son: “Open the to watch a game, trading sports trivia Scrambler at the local fair the moment
app and check the wait time for and speaking in baseball vernacular. A they met the height requirement,
Superman!” It’s a sentence I never secret language I’ve never spoken. giving them their first delicious taste of
thought I’d utter — let alone with the wonder of velocity?
such enthusiasm. So one day last spring when I
received an email promotion for Six My 14-year-old looked at the
How did I, a 44-year-old “do-your- Flags season passes for an “unbeatable cost of regular admission tickets
homework-brush-your-teeth-say-your- low, low price,” I thought, what if I versus the price of season passes and
prayers-and-lights-out-before-10” could stop time and reel my boys determined that if we were going to
mom, become a person who can back to me with the promise of roller go even twice, the passes would pay
debate the various merits of the coasters and bumper cars? I had been for themselves. And since we live only
classic features of El Toro and the adventurous once. I just needed to an hour from the park, we could easily
modern corkscrew style of Bizarro? get there multiple times in a single
summer. He concluded that it would
be “fiscally irresponsible of us not to
get season passes”.

Economics aside, I went that route
hoping, for once, to be more than a
woman extolling the virtues of beets
and proper flossing. And, spoiler alert:
It worked.

In this loud and crowded space,
a sense of peace and camaraderie
washes over us. We are different. I’m
not a nagging shrew and they’re no
longer sulky, sullen adolescents. Here,
we are marauders roaming a land
filled with thrills — all of them ours
for the taking.

As we race ever closer to the sun
on the rails of a steel coaster, I can feel
my jowls becoming one with my neck
— but I couldn’t care less.

When you’re hurtling through space
at 190 kilometres per hour, there’s no
time to worry about the emails

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12.9  Examples of reading passages and writing tasks

you haven’t returned, the lack of easier to get my cat a job as an Uber theme park lady.” I don’t tell them
milk in your fridge and the bills that driver than it is to get one lone I’m doing this for me. For us. Because
await when you return home. You anecdote about high school out of this it makes me feel alive. Because
don’t even have a second to consider kid. screaming into the abyss is cheaper
that an errant bird may fly into your than a therapist’s co-pay and because
face leaving you with just one eye. As we prepare to board the I’m trying to go back to a time when I
Your mind is wonderfully, impossibly, world’s tallest roller coaster and be was more than just a bit player in the
remarkably blank. hydraulically launched 45 stories into story of their lives.
the sky, my 11-year-old, his eyes as
As we walk from one section of blue and hopeful as the clear summer In spending a day terrifying
the park to another in search of more sky, looks up at me and asks, “Can we ourselves, we have been made fearless
dizzying, gut-churning fun, I’m able to hold hands?” together. We’re slightly sunburned,
impart small bits of wisdom without giddy with adrenaline and a sense of
coming across as overbearing, the way This is the same child who bolts having survived an adventure together.
I might at home. out the door and forgets to say
goodbye to me 40 percent of the And my kids know a new truth
“The stats on how often tongue school year. about me: I might not be able to build
piercings get infected are actually a go-kart, sink a 3-pointer, or stay
pretty alarming,” I caution. “Probably “Of course,” I say and pinch his awake for 10 consecutive minutes
best to skip that whole business, cheek. He doesn’t pull away. during a single Star Wars film, but
right?” when it comes to thrill rides, I will wait
When I tell friends and family as long as it takes for the front seat
Moments of pure magic occur as that I’ve taken another day off from and I will hold your hand and scream
we wait among the sweaty, heavily work to spend at this glorified as we orbit through space. Grinning all
tattooed masses to become human carnival where sensory overload and the way.
slingshots. My 14-year-old tells me overpriced nachos reign supreme,
about an older girl who gave her they grimace. Source: www.nytimes.com/2017/07/07/well/
phone number to his good friend family/how-i-became-that-weird-theme-
thinking he was 17 because his curly “Again, Liz?,” they ask, shaking their park-mom
hair makes him appear taller. Would heads. “Did you lose a bet? Are you
I have heard this story if we were blackmailing the boys to empty the
waiting in, say, the orthodontist’s dishwasher or fold the laundry? And, if
office? No. Normally, it would be so, is it working?”

It’s then that I realize I’ve
inadvertently become “that weird

Exercise 3

1 Write a magazine article in which you analyse why theme parks and their rides
are so popular. You should also consider how successful they are in appealing
to different ages and genders – you could even conduct a survey among your
classmates to support your comments. You should base your writing closely on
the material printed on pages 180–83.

2 Your school has arranged a trip to a theme park. Write a letter to parents giving
them information about the proposed visit (e.g. which park you are visiting;
whether you will be staying for more than one day; how you will be travelling;
the approximate cost of the visit). You should also encourage parents (and
grandparents?) to be part of the outing, both to help with supervision and for
their own enjoyment. You should base what you write on the material on pages
180–83.

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12 Written coursework

Example 4

This material consists of a website campaign on behalf of a conservation group and
a piece of personal writing from someone who has strong feelings about the threats
faced by the world’s gorilla population.

Gorilla Conservation
Campaign

To donate to the Emergency Gorilla Appeal Click Here! Rwanda, providing a much-needed institutional presence to
The Wildlife Conservation Society (WCS) is the only ensure the protection of this most endangered great ape.
organization in the world working to protect all of Africa’s While not nearly as well-known as mountain gorillas,
gorilla populations, specifically the world-renowned eastern lowland gorillas are also endangered. Little is
mountain gorillas, as well as the eastern lowland gorillas known about this gorilla subspecies, due primarily to the
and western gorillas. WCS began studying these inaccessible forests where it lives. WCS conducted the
spectacular primates in 1959 with Dr George Schaller’s first-ever comprehensive survey of eastern lowland gorillas in
seminal studies of mountain gorillas in the Virunga Volcanoes 1998, finding a surprisingly robust population living primarily
region on the borders of Rwanda, Uganda and the around Kahuzi-Biega, Maiko and Virunga National Parks in
Democratic Republic of Congo. Schaller’s work paved the Democratic Republic of Congo. Since that time, a new war
way for future conservation efforts and showed that gorillas involving several African nations and numerous rebel groups
were not the raging beasts of myth, but gentle, group- has enveloped the entire region. Park guards are severely
oriented animals, feeding primarily on plants and fruit. limited in their ability to patrol park borders in this region,
WCS’s research on mountain gorillas continued in the while poaching and habitat loss have become widespread.
1970s, when researchers Amy Vedder and Bill Weber Further, eastern DR Congo has become the centre of mining
launched the Mountain Gorilla Project (MGP) in Rwanda. operations for coltan, a naturally occurring alloy that is used
Vedder and Weber’s work on mountain gorilla ecology and in cell phone technology. Mining camps in and around
how economics and human attitudes affect conservation parks like Kahuzi-Biega National Park have caused an
helped save these majestic primates from what many experts increase in bushmeat hunting, and the most recent surveys
at the time considered to be certain extinction. Through a indicate that gorilla numbers may be in steep decline.
combination of education, outreach and ecotourism, the Western gorillas are probably more numerous than mountain
MGP helped rebuild mountain gorilla numbers from a low and eastern lowland gorillas combined; however, at a
of about 250 in the late 1970s to its present count of 360 meeting held in Leipzig, Germany in May 2002, gorilla
individuals. WCS continues to fund conservation projects in experts from several countries concluded that lack of
enforcement in protected areas throughout Central Africa
constitutes a significant threat to western gorillas across their
range. WCS scientists currently working in western gorilla
range countries – the Republic of Congo, Central African
Republic, Nigeria and Gabon – are helping to create
management plans for gorillas through a combination of
research, education and cooperation with governmental
agencies in the region.
Today, the future for gorillas remains uncertain. With central
Africa’s human population growing quickly, pressures on
both gorilla habitat and the animals themselves will only
escalate. Further, growing turmoil in the area has made
it difficult for conservationists to protect one of our closest
relatives. It is only through the efforts of WCS and other
dedicated conservationists, that continue to work closely with
local people and governments, that we can expect to save
the gorilla – a living symbol of the wilds of Africa.

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12.9  Examples of reading passages and writing tasks

Conservation Addendum the region’s extreme volatility, conservationists have been
WCS is a member of the Bushmeat Crisis Task Force – a able to do little on-the-ground work. Even the park guards,
coalition of conservation groups monitoring the situation who were disarmed when the war started, cannot patrol
in Kahuzi-Biega National Park in Democratic Republic of large areas of Kahuzi-Biega because of safety concerns.
Congo. As a result of civil war, poor security around the Recently, the U.S. State Department and the Bushmeat Crisis
park has led to widespread killing of animals – including Task Force have discussed ways to alleviate the situation,
Grauer’s gorillas – by people desperate for food. In including working with the different warring factions to find
1994–1995, WCS carried out a survey of the worldwide peace, and addressing issues of food security in the region,
distribution of Grauer’s gorillas and found that 86% of the which would in turn take the pressure off wildlife populations.
population was found in Kahuzi-Biega. Today, due to
Source: Wildlife Conservation Society (www.wcs.org) 

Mountain Gorillas in Peril

After 10 years of respite, a new assault was perpetrated last Marcel was probably the most famous gorilla in the area, and
month against mountain gorillas and their very chances for his group was very habituated to tourists. The circumstances
survival. of the murder are still under investigation, but here is what we
know today: Apparently, a ranger of the Parc National des
In December of ‘94, my husband and I visited with a peaceful Virungas was hired by a private collector to capture a young
family of 25 mountain gorillas in the Virunga Mountains of male gorilla. The ranger, who knew Marcel well, thought he
Zaire [Democratic Republic of Congo]. There are no words could get away with just snatching the baby. He obviously
to describe what a wonderful experience it was to observe did not count on the gorilla’s protectiveness. No amount of
these majestic creatures, our closest relatives, in their natural habituation will prevent a silverback from protecting his group,
habitat. The hour and a half I spent with them was to be one of or a mother her child. Now thanks to some of our fellow men’s
my sweetest memories. But today my memories are shattered, greed and stupidity there are two more names on the list of the
spoiled with blood and rage. On August 14th, Marcel (also heroic gorillas who have sacrificed their lives at the spears and
known as Rugabo), the beautiful silverback leader of the group, guns of poachers and collectors.
and an adult female were shot to death, while trying to prevent
the kidnapping of an infant. Fortunately, the baby gorilla was retrieved from a truck at the
Uganda border and successfully reintroduced in his family. He

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12 Written coursework

was named Rafiki (‘friend’ in Swahili) in honour of a Nairobi- but also from being pushed higher up the mountains, where
based company that runs safaris in the area. Marcel and his they may suffer respiratory problems.
lady were buried behind the warden’s hut in Djomba, in the
presence of several Zairian dignitaries. Their deaths are not One of the most present problems, however, comes from the
only a tragedy for their group (if there isn’t a male capable of drop in tourism that all this turmoil has caused. The National
taking over the role of silverback, the group may disintegrate Parks get most of their revenues from the tourists who come
and wander aimlessly in the forest at the mercy of poachers), to see the gorillas. In Djomba, a visit costs $120 per person
they put a serious dent in the whole species’ chances for and up to 8 tourists go each day. If there are no tourists,
survival. close to a $1000 a day and $365 000 a year is lost to the
Park authorities and, therefore, taken away from the gorillas’
There are only about 650 mountain gorillas left in the world, protection. If the Park is not protected, there will be no limits
half of which live in the Parc National des Virungas in Zaire, to the damage made to the mountain gorillas’ only habitat on
and the other half in neighbouring Rwanda and Uganda. Earth, which would undoubtedly lead to their extinction.
Each time one dies, it reduces the genetic pool available for
their reproduction. Before this year, there had been no gorillas You probably can’t solve the refugee problem in Zaire, but there
killed since the murder of Dian Fossey, the famous gorilla are ways you can help. Visiting the mountain gorillas is the best
conservationist, in 1985. Unfortunately, Marcel and his female way to relieve their plight. Not only will you help guarantee
are not the only mountain gorillas who died this year. Four their continued protection, you will see for yourself what
were shot in Uganda in March; a silverback named Salama wonderful and gentle creatures mountain gorillas are. Although
died from unknown causes in Zaire; and just a couple of weeks going to Rwanda is not recommended, you can still visit the
ago, another silverback, named Luwaya, was found shot in the gorillas in Uganda or Zaire. As Chris McDonald from Rafiki
Virungas. Luwaya’s death brings the count to eight, a terrible Africa puts it: ‘We have experienced no increased levels of risk
loss in a population of 650. at Djomba and the locals remain as friendly as ever. The fact is
that the gorilla sanctuary is approached from the Uganda side
Most of the deaths are attributable to poachers who kill the of the Virunga mountains and the problems facing Zaire, as far
gorillas for their meat or to capture infants. The problem has as the 1 000 000 refugees from Rwanda are concerned, may
become acute in the past year due to the presence of more as well be thousands of kilometres away.’ If you would like to
than 750 000 Rwandan refugees in the camps of Goma near go, please contact Kilimanjaro Adventure Travel on the web at
the Parc des Virungas. On August 22nd, the Zairian soldiers www.kilimanjaro.com.
tried to force some refugees, most of them Hutu gunmen
responsible for killing about 500 000 Tutsis, back to Rwanda, You can also help by sending donations to various animal
but mostly succeeded in sending 60 000 of them into the protection groups. The World Society for the Protection of
mountains to escape the expulsions. The presence of the Animals is running the EscApe campaign, specifically
refugees increases the pressure on the endangered mountain dedicated to the survival of the great apes. We are also
gorillas. According to a study conducted for the UN, 18 square hoping to start a ‘Marcel Fund’ in connection with the Dian
kilometres of forest have already been destroyed by refugees Fossey Gorilla Fund (UK), in order to build a visitor education
cutting wood for fuel, and 78 square kilometres are badly centre that will help the public understand the gorillas, their
damaged. Deforestation and the invasion of refugees in the habitat, and future survival. Please check back with us to see
National Park puts the gorillas at risk, not only from poaching, what the status is and how you can help.

Source: Stephanie Hancock, www.kilimanjaro.com

Exercise 4

1 Using the reading material on pages 184–86, write the words of a pamphlet
aimed at younger children, explaining the dangers faced by gorillas and what
could be done to help protect them.

2 Using the details contained in the reading material on pages 184–86, write the
script of a radio discussion programme titled ‘What Makes Animals So Important
Anyway?’ featuring Stephanie Hancock, a representative from the Wildlife
Conservation Society and yourself as Chair, who, for the sake of argument,
adopts a position opposed to conservation issues.

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12.10  Writing checklist

12.10  Writing checklist

When your writing is checked by a teacher or read by the audience, the following
points will all be taken into consideration. If you also take them into consideration
when you check and revise your work before submitting your portfolio, your writing
will be more successful!
1 Is the content:

» interesting
» entertaining
» enjoyable?
2 Does it achieve the assessment objectives for continuous writing, proving that
you can:
» articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
» sequence facts, ideas and opinions
» use a range of appropriate vocabulary
» use register appropriate to audience and context
» make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar?
3 Is it well structured? Is it easy to follow and does it move sensibly from
beginning to end?
4 Is the style appropriate for the purpose of the piece?
5 How accurate is the writing? How good is the:
» spelling
» grammar
» punctuation?

Unit summary

In this unit you have reviewed the following objectives.
Assignment 1:
• demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
• demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
• analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate

support from the text
• select and use information for specific purposes
• articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
• organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
• use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
• use register appropriate to context
• make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
Assignments 2 and 3:
• articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
• organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
• use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
• use register appropriate to context
• make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.

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CHAPTER 5
Speaking and
listening skills

Units

13   Speaking and listening skills

188

13 Speaking and listening skills

In this unit you will:
★ articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
★ present facts, ideas and opinions in a cohesive order which sustains the

audience’s interest
★ communicate clearly and purposefully using fluent language
★ use register appropriate to context
★ listen and respond appropriately in conversation.
This unit will focus on the following skills:

Speaking and listening

★ describe and reflect on experience, and express what is thought, felt and
imagined

★ organise and present facts, ideas and opinions effectively
★ understand and convey complex ideas
★ communicate with clarity, focus and purpose
★ communicate appropriately for the context
★ engage appropriately in conversation.

189

13 Speaking and listening skills

Key term Introduction
Moderator: An
external examiner Speaking and listening are an integral part of your English lessons, and being able
who oversees to speak in English and understand what is said to you in reply are hugely important
teachers’ marking skills. Although they may not be assessed as part of your English course, they are
of the speaking and important skills to develop.
listening test or
coursework. It’s also worth remembering that if you write a script for your written papers, you
will produce a better piece if you have thought about how to speak interestingly
190 and communicate clearly.

In Units 4.1 and 4.4 we looked at the skills involved in writing for different
purposes and for different audiences. Similar skills are needed for speaking. If you
are a government minister explaining a new law that is to be introduced, you are
going to speak rather differently from someone who is talking to a group of friends
about whether to go to the cinema or to go shopping.

Even in school, you adapt your speaking style to different situations – perhaps
without really thinking about it: you are bound to find yourself in a mix of formal
and informal situations, talking with adults and with your peers, talking about
school work and your leisure time, and so on.

13.1  What is tested and how?

Speaking and listening skills will be assessed by your teachers and their marks
will be externally moderated.

The tests are usually conducted by one of your teachers, although some schools may
bring in specialists to do it. The test lasts about ten minutes, broken down into:

» Part 1: Presentation of an individual talk [3–4 minutes]
» Part 2: Conversation [6–7 minutes].

Both aspects of the test are explained in more detail below.

How is the test marked?

The individual talk and conversation (Parts 1 and 2 of the test) are recorded and the
recording is sent to a moderator who is appointed by the examination board. The
moderator receives a number of recordings and compares them with the standards
that have been set.

He/she will decide whether you have been assessed at the right standard. If
he/she agrees with your teacher’s marks, the results will simply be sent to the
examining board; if the moderator doesn’t quite agree with your teacher then he/
she might adjust your marks slightly.

Study tip
To build your confidence in speaking, record some practice pieces. You could start by reading
something out loud, just to get used to the sound of your own voice on the recording.
Once you have done this, make your practice as close to the situation you will face in the test as
possible – in other words, find a willing partner, do some preparation and then have a go! If you
manage to do this a few times then you will feel much more confident when it comes to the test itself.

13.2  The individual talk

Before you take the test, think of a topic that interests you. You should be able
to talk to your teacher on this topic for between three and four minutes, without
interruption or prompting. Your talk can be formal or informal; you can deliver it as
a presentation or as a speech.