7.5  Writing a continuation of a story
 Example of student’s response
Time passed. Every morning Manko awoke and looked hopefully at the sky. The
burning sun looked back at him, mockingly.
The pile of yams became smaller. Rannie, Sunny and Manko had eaten them
and drunk the boiled dirty water from the river. This was all they had to eat for
days.
Rannie had grown weak and become ill. Manko was worried: she was feverish
but he had no spare water with which he could bathe her burning forehead.
Manko sat by Rannie’s side holding her hand as she lay on the floor of the hut.
He felt that his great strength too was fading away. He had not laughed now
for many months. He had watched his animals slowly dying from starvation
and lack of water to drink. There were very few of them remaining by now. If
the rains were to come soon there might be just enough to allow him to rebuild
his stock. If the rains did not come he dared not think what would happen. The
water in the river was by now no more than a tiny trickle.
Only Sunny kept their spirits alive. The boy lived up to his name. On this day
he had gone to the river to find what water he could. Manko talked quietly to
Rannie. Soon the rain would come, he told her. All would be well: Sunny would
be able to go to college.
‘Father, Father, come quickly.’
He heard Sunny shouting outside the hut and rushed out to see what was
upsetting him.
Rannie struggled to her feet and walked slowly to the door.
‘Father, look … look!’
Manko was worried. Had his son hurt himself? He was standing outside the hut
pointing at … nothing.
‘What is it, Sunny? My old eyes are weak. What can you see?’
‘Father, look at the sun.’
Manko screwed up his eyes and peered at the sun. Could it be true? Yes, it was.
Slowly, surely, a black cloud was covering the burning, golden ball. The sky
had turned from blue to deep grey. Great, heavy clouds were approaching.
‘Father, can you see now? The clouds … they are bringing rain.’
Rannie had joined them now. Manko embraced his wife and his son. The rains
were coming. Within minutes, great, heavy drops of water were soaking them
to the skin. The ground had turned to mud and already green shoots were
beginning to appear.
Manko stood soaked and happy. Now he could plant his corn seeds. Maybe
Sunny would be an important man after all.
                                                                                                                                          91
7	 Directed writing
                          Teacher’s comment
                                The writer of this continuation has made a positive attempt to follow the style
                                and content of the original story and to use the suggestions given in the
                                wording of the question. The writer has wisely not attempted to produce too
                                ambitious a story but has concentrated on a single event. Remember that you
                                are working under time restrictions.
                                The continuation makes some attempt to imitate the sentence structures of
                                the original and shows an awareness of the type of descriptive techniques it
                                uses, in particular, through the ways in which the sun is repeatedly referred
                                to and described. The writer also tries hard to include details from the original
                                story. For example, he/she brings in references to the dying cattle, the corn
                                seeds and the description of Manko as a tall man who used to laugh a lot. The
                                continuation also shows that the writer has understood the relationship between
                                Manko and Rannie and, in particular, their hopes for Sunny.
                                The impression given by this piece of writing to a teacher reading it would be a
                                positive one. It may not be the continuation of the story which the author of the
                                original had in mind, but what has been written is consistent with what has
                                gone before and is perfectly credible. It deserves credit for its content and its
                                attempt to follow the style of the original. A continuation which concluded with
                                a much less happy ending would also have been perfectly acceptable, as long as
                                it showed similar merits of structure, style and content.
                          Read carefully the story ‘The Gold-Legged Frog’ and then complete the task that
                          follows.
The Gold-Legged Frog
 by Khamsing Srinawk
  The sun blazed as if determined to crisp every living thing in the broad fields.
  Now and again the tall, straight, isolated sabang and payom trees let go some of
  their dirty yellow leaves. He sank exhausted against a tree trunk with his dark
  blue shirt wet with sweat. The expanse round him expressed total dryness. He
  stared at the tufts of dull grass and bits of straw spun in a column to the sky. The
  brown earth sucked up into the air cast a dark pall over everything. A whirlwind.
  He recalled the old people had told him this was the portent of drought, want,
  disaster and death, and he was afraid. He was now anxious to get home; he could
  see the tips of the bamboo thickets surrounding the house far ahead looking like
  blades of grass. But he hesitated. A moment before reaching the shade of the tree
  he felt his ears buzz and his eyes blur and knew it meant giddiness and sunstroke.
  He looked at the soles of his feet blistered from the burning sandy ground and became indescribably angry –
  angry with the weather capable of such endless torture. In the morning the cold had pierced his bones, but now it
  was so hot he felt his head would break into bits and pieces. As he remembered the biting cold of the morning, he
  thought again of his little son.
  That same morning he and two of his small children went out into the dry paddy fields near the house to look for
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7.5  Writing a continuation of a story
frogs for the morning meal. The air was so chilly the two children on either side of him shivered as they stopped
to look for frogs hiding in the cracks of the parched earth. Each time they saw two bright eyes in a deep crack,
they would shout, ‘Pa, here’s another one. Pa, this crack has two. Gold-legged ones! Hurry, Pa.’
He dashed from place to place as the voices called him, prying up the dry clods with his hoe. He caught some of
the frogs immediately, but a few jumped away as soon as he began digging. It was the children’s job to chase and
pounce on them. Many got away. Some jumped into different fissures obliging him to prise up a new cake of
earth. If his luck was good, besides the frog, he would find a land snail or razor clam buried waiting for the rains.
He would take these as well.
The air was warming and already he had enough frogs to eat with the morning rice. The sound of drumming, the
village chief ’s call for a meeting, sounded faintly from the village. Vague anger again spilled over as his thoughts
returned to that moment. If only he had gone home then the poor child would be all right now. It was really the
last crack. As soon as he poked it, the ground broke apart. A fully grown gold-legged frog as big as a thumb leaped
past the bigger child. The younger raced after it for about ten metres when it dodged into the deep hoofprint of a
water buffalo. The child groped after it. And then he was shocked almost senseless by the trembling cry of his boy,
‘Pa, a snake, a snake bit my hand.’
A cobra spread its hood, hissing. When finally able to act, the father with all his strength brought the handle of his
hoe three times down on the back of the serpent leaving its tail twitching. He carried his child and the basket of
frogs home without forgetting to tell the other to drag the snake along as well.
On the way back his son cried softly and moaned, beating his chest with his fists and complaining he could not
breathe. At home, the father summoned all the faith-healers and herbalists whose names he could think of and
the turmoil began.
‘Chop up a frog, roast it, and put it on the wound,’ a neighbour called out.
When another shouted, ‘Give him the toasted liver of the snake to eat,’ he hurriedly slit open the snake to look for
the liver while his wife sat by crying. The later it got, the bigger the crowd. On hearing the news, all the
neighbours attending the village chief ’s meeting joined the others. One of them told him he had to go to the
District Office in town that day because the village chief told them it was the day the government was going to
hand out money to those with five or more children, and he was one who had just five. It was a new shock.
‘Can’t you see my boy’s gasping out his life? How can I go?’
‘What difference will it make? You’ve called in a lot of doctors, all of them expert.’
‘Go, you fool. It’s two hundred baht they’re giving. You’ve never had that much in your life-time. Two hundred!’
‘Leave this for a bit,’ another added. ‘If the boy dies, you’ll be out, that’s all.’
‘I won’t go,’ he yelled. ‘My child can’t breathe and you tell me to go. Why can’t they give it out some other day? It’s
true I’ve never had two hundred baht since I was born, but I’m not going. I’m not going.’
‘Jail,’ another interjected. ‘If you don’t go, you simply go to jail. Whoever disobeyed the authorities? If they decide
to give, you have to take. If not, jail.’
The word ‘jail’ repeated like that affected him, but still, he resisted.
‘Whatever it is, I said I’m not going. I don’t want it. How can I leave him when he’s dying?’
He raised his voice. ‘I’m not going.’
‘You go. Don’t go against the government. We’re subjects.’ He turned to find the village chief standing grimly at
his side. His voice dried up immediately.
‘If I don’t go, will it really be jail?’ he asked.
‘For sure,’ the village chief replied sternly. ‘Maybe for life.’
That was all there was to it. Dazed, he asked the faith-healers and neighbours to take care of his son and left the
house.
 Source: The Politician and other stories by Khamsing Srinawk, Oxford University Press, 1992 
                                                                                               93
7	 Directed writing
            Exercise 5
            Continue the story, saying what happened after the father visited the District
            Office and returned home.
            Make the father the focus of your story.
            Use what you have learned about his life, his family and their circumstances.
            Write between a page and a page and a half.
              7.6  Writing a leaflet
                        When you are writing a leaflet, you must think about the layout and language you
                        need to use. It is important that the readers can take in the information quickly and
                        can understand it clearly, so think about the following points:
                        »	 Layout is important. It helps to break the information up into short sections,
                           each with its own sub-heading. Features such as bullet points and bold font
                           enable the key information to stand out.
                        »	 The language of a leaflet should be simple and clear. Use short sentences as this
                           makes the information easy to understand.
                        »	 Graphical features such as diagrams and simple graphs are a good way of
                           supporting the written information in the leaflet.
                        »	 The tone of the leaflet should be informal and should address the reader
                           personally. It is important not to adopt a ‘lofty’ tone so that you don’t appear to
                           be talking down to the reader.
                        The leaflet that follows was produced by the Fire Service and gives advice on how to
                        prevent fires in home kitchens. Read through it and then answer the questions that
                        follow.
Kitchen fires
In 2016 there were 66 accidental dwelling fires due to cooking, which is a reduction of more than a fifth on the previous year.
Cooking-related fires account for the biggest proportion of accidental dwelling fires in Cornwall.
Cooking-related fires can be very dangerous and over the past three years there have been two deaths and six serious injuries
due to this type of incident. Nearly all of these fires occurred in the kitchen, and the majority are related to the oven (60%)
and then the grill/toaster (15%).
Follow these simple tips to help make your kitchen safe:
The cooker
•	 Keep electrical leads from trailing over or going near the cooker.                                 OFF
•	 Don’t hang tea-towels or cloths on or over the cooker and don’t put oven gloves down on the
   cooker after you’ve used them.
•	 Keep the oven, hob and grill clean as a build-up of fat and bits of food can start a fire.
•	 Don’t leave pans on the hob when you’re not around – take them off the heat if you have to leave
   the kitchen (even if you think it will only be for a moment, while you answer the door or phone).
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7.6  Writing a leaflet
The microwave
•	 Don’t put anything that is made of metal, or has a metallic finish or parts, in the microwave.
•	 Don’t dry clothes in the microwave.
Electrical items in the kitchen
•	 Keep electrical leads away from water.
•	 Don’t put a plant pot or anything wet on top of an electrical appliance.
•	 Check the toaster is clean and well away from curtains; empty the crumb tray regularly.
•	 D  on’t overload sockets – one plug per socket is the rule, especially if the appliance takes a lot of
   power (like a kettle).
•	 Don’t run extension cables across the floor, as they can become worn.
•	  Electrical appliances – especially those that work at high speeds, such as the washing machine –
   should be serviced each year.
•	 Don’t leave appliances such as washing machines or dishwashers on at night.
•	 Check that your kettle is not leaking – this can be dangerous.
Read the Fire safety in the home leaflet for more information on the safe use of electrical appliances
at home.
Ventilation
Check regularly that the ventilation in your kitchen is working properly and is not blocked up,
especially if you have a gas cooker.
Protection
•	 B  uy a smoke alarm fitted with a ‘hush button’, so if it goes off accidentally you can silence it
   instantly and aren’t tempted to remove the battery (except to change it for a new one).
•	 C  onsider having a fire blanket in your kitchen, mounted on the wall where you can get to it easily
   and quickly.
Cook safely
Most kitchen fires occur when people are distracted or leave things unattended, so remember:
•	 If you’re called away from the cooker – by the phone or someone at the door, for example – take
   pans off the heat.
•	 Don’t let yourself be distracted while cooking.
•	 Don’t cook if you’re affected by alcohol or prescription drugs.
•	 Turn saucepans so that their handles don’t stick out (and aren’t over another ring).
•	 Don’t put oven gloves or tea-towels down on to the hot cooker after you’ve used them.
•	 Clean your grill pan after using it.
Deep-fat frying
Deep-fat frying presents more dangers in your kitchen.
Chip pans are safe as long as you follow some simple guidelines. Before putting food in the pan dry
the food, and test the temperature of the oil by putting in a small piece of bread. If the bread crisps
quickly the oil is ready.
Remember:
•	 Never fill a chip pan (or other deep-fat fryer) more than one-third full of oil.
•	 Never leave the pan unattended when the heat is switched on.
•	 Never put the food in the pan if the oil begins to give off smoke.
•	 Turn off the heat and leave the oil to cool, otherwise it could catch fire.
•	  Consider using a thermostatically controlled deep-fat fryer – this will ensure that the fat does not
   get too hot.
                                                                                                                                                                                    95
7	 Directed writing
If your pan does catch fire:                                                                                          GET OUT
•	 Don’t take any risks.
•	 Turn off the heat if it’s safe to do so – but never lean over a pan to reach the controls.                         STAY OUT
•	 If you have a fire blanket, put it over the pan.
•	 Don’t use a fire extinguisher on a pan of oil – the force of the extinguisher can spread the fire.                 AND CALL
•	 Never throw water over it.
•	 Don’t move it – it is likely to be extremely hot.                                                                  999
•	 If you have put the fire out, leave the pan to cool completely.
If you are in any doubt about whether to try and put out a chip pan fire yourself, then don’t – leave                  FIRE SAFETY
the room, close the door and dial 999.                                                                                 IN THE HOME
If you have an electrical fire in the kitchen:                                                                           FIRE
•	 If it is safe to do so, switch off the power at the fuse box – this may be enough to stop the fire
                                                                                                                           KILLS
   immediately.                                                                                                              YOU CAN
•	 Smother the fire with a fire blanket, or use a dry powder or carbon dioxide extinguisher.
•	 Remember: Never use water on an electrical fire.                                                                            PREVENT IT
Source: www.cornwall.gov.uk/community-and-living/cornwall-fire-and-rescue-service-homepage/keeping-safe/fire-safety/
fire-safety-at-home/prevent-a-fire-in-your-home/kitchen-fires
    Exercise 6
    Answer the following questions about the Fire Service leaflet advice on how to
    prevent fires in home kitchens.
    1 	Who is the intended audience for this leaflet? Give reasons for your answer and
       quote from the leaflet to support your reasons.
    2	 How well does the layout of the leaflet help to support and make clear the
       information it contains? Again, give reasons for your answer and refer to
       examples from the leaflet to support your comments.
    3	 Comment on the language and tone of the leaflet – do you think it is successful
       in addressing its target audience and in making its points clearly?
    Practise writing a leaflet
    This exercise will help you to practise writing a leaflet. Here is a collection of details
    and opinions concerning the effects of climate change in the Arctic region. Read
    carefully the passage and then complete the task that follows.
96
.
                                                                                                                                                 7.6  Writing a leaflet
The Arctic                                                             The Arctic is warming faster than the rest of
                                                                       the world
                 Facts and figures
                                                                       Why? Shiny ice and snow reflect a high proportion of the sun’s
•	 66° 33’N: The lower limit of the Arctic, strictly                   energy into space. As the Arctic loses snow and ice, bare rock
                                                                       and water absorb more and more of the sun’s energy, making it
  defined.                                                             ever warmer. This is called the ‘albedo effect’.
•	 30 million km2 of marine and terrestrial ecosystems.                A small temperature shift can have enormous
•	 Polar bears live in the Arctic – it’s their only home.              implications
  Penguins do not live in the Arctic.                                  Even an increase of 2°C could be too much. A slight shift in
•	 4 million people live within the Arctic Circle.                     temperature, bringing averages above the freezing point, will
•	 –40°C (–40°F): Average winter temperature in some
                                                                       completely alter the character of the region.
  parts of the Arctic.
                                                                       •	P olar bears could become extinct by the end of this century if
•	 The smallest ocean in the world is the Arctic Ocean.
•	 8 countries are recognized as Arctic states.                        •	 Athsersenoiswaannadlmicoesmt ceoltm, tphleetaebliolistsy      of  summer sea            ice cover.
                                                                                                                                        of  the Arctic to         reflect heat
Consisting of deep ocean covered by drifting pack ice and
surrounded by continents and archipelagos around the Earth’s           back to space is reduced, accelerating the overall rate of
North Pole, the Arctic is the planet’s largest and least fragmented
inhabited region.                                                      ••		  SWgoloembaearleawrlciaktriecmlyfiinstogh.eserieesmwoirlel  disappear.    and  storm  damage  to
                                                                                                                                        forest fires
But by the end of this century, the Arctic will be a very different
place. Temperatures are warming more than twice as fast as they          coastal communities in the Arctic.
are for the planet as a whole. Sea ice is melting. Arctic wildlife
and people are beginning to live altered lives.                        •	 Glaciers, sea ice and tundra will melt, contributing to global
How is the Arctic affected by climate change?                          •	 Asewa alervmeel rriAsercst.ic could halt the Gulf Stream, which brings
Climate change is faster and more severe in the Arctic than in         warmer water and weather to north-western Europe.
most of the rest of the world. The Arctic is warming at a rate
almost twice the global average.                                       How will plants and animals be affected?
Summer sea ice is disappearing                                         A warmer climate will have a major impact on the Arctic and result
The sea ice that is a critical component of Arctic marine ecosystems   in major changes for plant and animal species. Melting permafrost
is projected to disappear in the summer within a generation.
                                                                       will cause large quantities of methane and carbon dioxide to be
•	 Arctic sea ice has decreased 14% since the 1970s.
•	 In 2012, Arctic sea ice extent hit the lowest level ever recorded,  released, boosting global temperatures already on the rise.
  breaking the previous record set in 2007.                            •	 There will be major changes in the composition of plant
•	 By 2040, summer sea ice could be limited to the northern coast      communities. Southern plant species will migrate northwards
  of Greenland and Canada. This is the Last Ice Area.                  and suppress existing plants, affecting the species that depend
                                                                       on them. Insects responsible for pollination are one example of
                                                                       •	 Cthheacnogeexsisinteanccceetshsattowniulltrbiteiotuhsrepalatenntse(db.oth in time and space)
                                                                       •	 Cwhilal bnegedseicnistihvee  for herbivores such as musk oxen and reindeer.
                                                                                                       success of birds’ nesting patterns will be
                                                                       •	 Tdehecifsuivtuerfeorfohrofwishmsitgorcaktos rdyebpierndds scoopn esewaitthemclpimeraatetucrehas nagned.
                                                                       algae blooms that are an essential source of food. Arctic waters
                                                                       will become more acidic as CO2 uptake increases, negatively
                                                                       affecting some organisms.
                                                                       Retreating sea ice is already a major threat to most seal species
                                                                       and walruses.
                                                                       These predictions aside, scientists cannot describe exactly how
                                                                       climate change will affect the Arctic. We will only obtain precise
                                                                       knowledge about climate change effects as they occur, by which
                                                                       time it will be too late. Only immediate cuts in greenhouse gas
                                                                       emissions can prevent catastrophic and irreversible change, so
                                                                       action is required now.
                                                                         Source: adapted from WWF                                                                                  97
7	 Directed writing
               Exercise 7
                           Write a leaflet for an environmental organisation, aimed at raising people’s
                           awareness of the effects of climate change in the Arctic and asking for support.
                           The leaflet will be delivered to people’s homes.
                           Use the information in the passage as a basis for your writing. You may also add
                           ideas of your own.
                       Unit summary
                             In this unit you have reviewed the objectives:
                             •	 demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
                             •	 demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
                             •	 analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate
                                support from the text
                             •	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
                             •	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
                             •	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
                             •	 use register appropriate to context
                             •	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
 98
CHAPTER 3
People and
community
Units
8 		 Further summary practice
9 		 Improving your writing
10 	Directed writing
                                                                                                                                                                                  99
8	 Further summary practice
                             In this unit you will:
                             H	 demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
                             H	 demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
                             H	 select and use information for specific purposes
                             H	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
                             H	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
                             H	 use register appropriate to context
                             H	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                             This unit will focus on the following skills:
                       Reading
                             H	 demonstrate understanding of written texts, and of the words and phrases
                                 within them
                             H	 summarise and use material for a specific context
                             H	 develop, analyse and evaluate facts, ideas and opinions
                             H	 select appropriate information for specific purposes.
                       Writing
                             H	 organise and convey facts, ideas and opinions effectively
                             H	 demonstrate a varied vocabulary appropriate to the context
                             H	 demonstrate an effective use of sentence structures
                             H	 demonstrate an understanding of audience, purpose and form
                             H	 demonstrate accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.
 100
8.1  Further summary and reading practice
8.1  Further summary and reading practice
In general, summary questions are usually based on factual, non-fiction passages.
They require you to write a straightforward summary of the main details contained
in the passage that are relevant to the specific requirements of the question that
has been set.
  However, sometimes passages used for summary are based on types of writing
other than that which is intended to convey information. The following exercises are
based on a range of types of writing.
»	 Passage 1 is a newspaper article about the ways in which women’s football is
   using social media to promote its image.
»	 Passage 2 is taken from a speech given by an American educator, in which he is
   putting forward a deliberately controversial view about education in the present
   day.
»	 Passage 3 is an extract from Charles Dickens’ novel Bleak House, describing (and
   satirising the behaviour of) the eccentric Mrs Jellyby.
»	 Passage 4 is a more conventional informative passage about the early history of
   advertising.
»	 Passage 5 gives two different accounts (the first is a newspaper article; the
   second is a blog) of a visit to the Dutch theme park, Efteling, providing you with
   the opportunity to write a summary based on two passages.
The exercises relating to these passages allow you to approach summary writing in
different ways and also provide extra practice exercises to test your skills in other
types of reading questions (such as directed writing). However, in all cases, you
should concentrate on making notes of the main points before writing your final
version.
  You may, of course, use all of these passages to practise writing more
conventional summaries of their content if you wish. Whatever approach you follow,
remember to use your own words as far as possible and to write between 200 and
250 words, apart from the response to Passage 5 which should be between 300 and
350 words.
  Before answering these questions, however, you should work your way through
the following exemplar question and sample response, which is based on a passage
that is more demanding in content and language used than those that we looked at
previously. The technique required to write a summary of the passage is, in effect,
very similar to that used to respond to the passages and exercises in Unit 4. Read
the passage and the question carefully and note down what you consider to be the
main relevant points. Then read the analysis of the task that follows.
                                                                                                                                               101
8	Further summary practice
Dieting vs. Exercise for Weight Loss (1)
By Gretchen Reynolds                                               some time that, calorie for calorie, it’s easier to lose weight
Two groundbreaking new studies address the irksome                 by dieting than by exercise,’ he says.
question of why so many of us who work out remain
so heavy, a concern that carries special resonance at the             People stick with low-calorie diets more readily than they
moment, as lean Olympians slip through the air and water,          continue with exercise to reduce weight.
inspiring countless viewers to want to become similarly
sleek. (2)                                                            ‘There’s an expectation that if you exercise, your
                                                                   metabolism won’t drop as you lose weight or will even
   And in a just world, frequent physical activity should          speed up,’ says Diana Thomas, a professor of mathematics at
make us slim. But repeated studies have shown that many            Montclair State University in New Jersey.
people who begin an exercise programme lose little or no
weight. Some gain.                                                    But she says close mathematical scrutiny of past studies of
                                                                   exercise and weight loss shows that that happy prospect is,
   To better understand why, anthropologists leading one           sad to say, unfounded. The problem for those of us hoping to
of the new studies began with a research trip to Tanzania.         use exercise to slough off fat is that most current calculations
There, they recruited volunteers from the Hadza tribe,             about exercise and weight loss assume that metabolism
whose members still live by hunting and gathering.                 remains unchanged or is speeded up by exercise. (8)
   The researchers gathered data for 11 days, then calculated         So Dr Thomas has helpfully begun to recalibrate weight
the participants’ typical daily physical activity, energy          loss formulas, taking into account the drop in metabolism.
expenditure and resting metabolic rates. They then                 Using her new formulas, she’s working with a group of
compared those numbers with the same measures for an               volunteers, providing them with improved predictions about
average male and female Westerner.                                 how much weight they can expect to lose from exercise.
   It’s long been believed that a hunter-gatherer lifestyle           The predictions are proving accurate, she says, and
involves considerable physical activity and therefore burns        although her forecast is for less weight loss than that under
many calories, far more than are incinerated by your               the old formula, the volunteers are pleased. ‘It’s better to
average American office worker each day. And it was true,          meet lower expectations,’ she says, ‘than to be disappointed
the scientists determined, that the Hadza people in general        that you’re not losing what you supposedly should.’ She is
moved more than many Americans do, with the men                    perhaps her own best advertisement. In the past few years,
walking about 12 kilometres a day and the women about              she’s shed 30 kilograms and, using her formulas for how
five. (3)                                                          many calories she’s actually burning each day thanks to a
                                                                   daily walk, has regained none of it. (9)
   But it was not true that they were burning far more
calories. In fact, the scientists calculated, the Hadzas’ average              Source: the New York Times, 1 August 2012 
metabolic rate, or the number of calories that they were
burning over the course of a day, was about the same as the
average metabolic rate for Westerners. (4)
   The implication, the scientists concluded, is that ‘active,
“traditional” lifestyles may not protect against obesity if
diets change to promote increased caloric consumption.’
That is, even active people will pack on weight if they eat
like most of us in the West. (5)
   The underlying and rather disheartening message of
that finding (6), of course, is that physical activity by itself
is not going to make and keep you thin. The overarching
conclusion of that study, which was published last week in
the journal PLOS One, is not really new or surprising, says
Dr Timothy Church, who holds the John S. McIlhenny
Endowed Chair in Health Wisdom at the Pennington
Biomedical Research Center in Louisiana and who has long
studied exercise and weight control. (7) ‘It’s been known for
102
8.1  Further summary and reading practice
Exercise 1
Read carefully the passage and make notes of the main points. Then write a
summary of what the passage tells you about:
•	 the research conducted with the Hadza tribe in Tanzania
•	 the findings of the studies carried out by Dr Church and Dr Thomas.
You should write between 200 and 250 words.
Student response
The purpose of this section is to help guide you through the process of writing a
summary of this passage.
  First, we will look at the thought processes of a student approaching the task and
relate these to the highlighted sections.
  Next, we will make numbered notes of the main points to be included.
  Finally, we will produce an example of a final summarised version of the points
required by the question.
    Thought processes
    Sections of the passage highlighted in yellow are commented on below.
    1	 The title of the passage is a useful way of finding an overview; however, does
       it match the requirements of the question? In this case it does, so it’s useful
       to keep the point in mind to help give a clear focus when writing the final
       version.
    2	This is an interesting point as it relates the passage to the world of the reader
       but is not relevant to the topic of the summary, so it can be ignored.
    3	This paragraph expands on the point made in the previous paragraph – it tends
       to make the same point again, but should the comparison with the lifestyle
       of American workers be included? It would help to link the two parts of the
       summary, so it should be included.
    4	But this needs to be added to the point above.
    5	This is an expansion of the key point made in the previous sentence but it
       does help to clarify it, so it would be useful to include it.
    6	This is a subjective comment and not relevant to the summary topic.
    7	The summary is about the findings of Dr Church’s research – although his
       qualifications and position are impressive, it’s not necessary to include them
       in a summary. ‘Dr Church, an expert in exercise and weight control’, would be
       more than enough.
    8	 There’s certainly a relevant point being made in these two paragraphs but
       in rather a long-winded way, so it needs to be made more specific in a
       summary.
    9	 There’s definitely a concluding point made here but, in the final summary,
       it’s best to generalise it and remove the personal reference to Dr Thomas.
    Sections of the passage highlighted in pink contain key points for the
    summary.
                                                                                                                                               103
8	Further summary practice
                          Notes
                                1		 Research is being carried out into why regular exercise does not result in
                                    participants losing weight.
                                2		 Researchers studied the Hadza tribe from Tanzania who are hunter-gatherers.
                                3		 They studied their daily physical activity, how much energy they used and
                                    how this affected their metabolism (the chemical processes that take place in
                                    our bodies).
                                4		 It was found that although the Hadza people were much more physically
                                    active than the average American, they did not necessarily burn more
                                    calories per day than people in America with different lifestyles.
                                5		 This contradicts the expected findings; the conclusion to be drawn is that
                                    physical activity alone will not keep people thin, especially if people follow
                                    typical Western eating habits.
                                6		 Dr Church states that this is not surprising; previous research has shown
                                    that it’s easier to lose weight through a calorie-controlled diet than through
                                    exercise – and this appeals to people more.
                                7		 The belief underlying many studies of weight loss is that exercise speeds
                                    up metabolism but Dr Thomas’ findings do not support this. In fact, they
                                    indicate that metabolism may drop during exercise.
                                8		 Consequently, she is revising the formulas associated with weight loss
                                    through exercise.
                                9		 She is encouraging the volunteers with whom she is working to have lower
                                    expectations of the weight they can expect to lose.
                                10	 Her predictions about weight loss are proving to be accurate, and the
                                    volunteers are satisfied with this and not disappointed that they are not
                                    losing more.
                                11	 The evidence is that by following Dr Thomas’ formulas relating to exercise
                                    and weight loss, people will lose weight and not put it back on again.
                          Final summary
                                It appears that regular exercise does not result in people losing weight.
                                Researchers studied the hunter-gatherer Hadza tribe from Tanzania, in
                                particular their daily physical activity, how much energy they used and
                                how this affected the chemical processes that take place in their bodies (their
                                metabolism). It was found that although they were much more physically
                                active than the average American, they did not necessarily burn more calories
                                per day than people in America with different lifestyles. The conclusion to be
                                drawn is that physical activity alone will not keep people thin, especially if
                                people follow typical Western eating habits.
                                According to Dr Church, this is not surprising; previous research has shown that
                                it’s easier to lose weight through a calorie-controlled diet than through exercise –
                                and this appeals to people more. Dr Thomas’ findings do not support the belief
104
8.2 Passage 1
                              that exercise speeds up metabolism and, in fact, indicate that metabolism may
                              drop during exercise. Consequently, she is revising the formulas associated
                              with weight loss through exercise. She is encouraging volunteers with whom
                              she is working to have lower expectations of the weight they can expect to lose.
                              Her predictions about weight loss are proving to be accurate, and the volunteers
                              are satisfied with this and not disappointed that they are not losing more. The
                              evidence is that by following Dr Thomas’s formulas relating to exercise and
                              weight loss, people will lose weight and not put it back on again. (239 words)
              8.2 Passage 1
               Exercise 2
                          Read the following article carefully and then write a summary of what it tells you
                          about:
                          •	 The state of women’s football in the UK in 2012.
                          •	 Why women’s football does not have the same public profile as the men’s game.
                          •	 How and why the Women’s Super League (WSL) is using social media.
Women footballers bring new life to the
beautiful game and score with Twitter
By Tracy McVeigh
After years of feeling underrated and overlooked by
mainstream football pundits and press, women’s football
is coming into its own this season thanks to social media.
New research shows that the women’s version of the
game is now the third biggest team sport in the UK in
terms of participation, behind only men’s football and
cricket.
Its previous lack of recognition is being overcome by
fans turning to social networking to follow the sport. The
second ever season of the Football Association’s Women’s
Super League (WSL) kicks off on Sunday, and eight of
England’s top female footballers, one from each of the
top clubs, will take the unprecedented step of wearing
their success on their sleeve by displaying their Twitter
account names on their kit.
The new semi-professional league, the top A tier of
women’s football, was launched by the FA last year
as a platform to drive forward the women’s game and
the association claims that it will be spending £3m on
promotion in the first three years of the league.
                                                                                                                                                                                    105
8	Further summary practice
Since the WSL launched, attendances have increased by             ‘But with digital media we can really forge ahead. We don’t
more than 600%, viewing figures of live broadcast matches,        need to struggle to get a few lines in a newspaper, we can do it
at 450 000, are on a par with those of the men’s Scottish         for ourselves; fans can interact with players and find out about
Premier League, and the social media channels now attract         fixtures and get really involved on match days – even if they
more than 80 000 followers. It has transformed the player–fan     are not at the game themselves.’
relationship by making it a fully interactive league. Research
commissioned for the FA by Sport England Active People            Houghton, 23, has been selected as the FA WSL digital
ahead of the 2012 season shows that the low profile of women’s    ambassador for Arsenal Ladies this season. Each club in
football is what is driving fans to Twitter and Facebook for      the league will pick one player who will wear their Twitter
news. Fans are up to seven times as interactive as those of the   address.
men’s game.
                                                                  ‘Twitter and Facebook have helped us massively, it’s just
The FIFA Women’s World Cup was the most tweeted-about             transformed things over the past year,’ Houghton said. ‘It’s
event in the world in July 2011 with 7,196 tweets per second at   really progressing the game. Our attendance figures have
its peak. It remains seventh in the list of the most tweets per   increased a lot. We’re doing a lot of work in schools getting
second, above the UEFA Champions League in 11th position.         girls to play football, breaking down any taboos there might
                                                                  be, and we’re seeing them get interested, and bring their
But the findings show that while there are 12 times as many       families along where they have such a good match day
news articles with mentions of women’s football per month,        experience that they’re coming back.’
relative to the number of people who attend matches, men’s
football receives three times as many headlines, relative to the  ‘I think that what’s happening is that girls are enjoying playing.
number of fans who attend.                                        It’s a lot more acceptable and now we have a Women’s Super
                                                                  League with hugely dedicated female role models – really
‘It is understandable in a way,’ said England international       committed players who people can see are dedicated and
and Arsenal Ladies midfielder Steph Houghton. ‘It’s difficult     training as hard if not harder than any male players – that’s
because the men’s game is so big and attracts so much money       all progressing the sport. And with social media there’s no
and sponsorship and so it’s always going to take priority.        holding women’s football back.’
                                                                                                        Source: the Observer, 7 April 2012 
Key terms               Facts and opinions
Fact: A statement       A fact is something that can be objectively proved and an opinion is a personal
that can be proved      view or belief that is not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof.
true.
Opinion: A personal       Summary questions may sometimes ask you to show that you can distinguish
view or belief that is  between facts and opinions expressed by the writer. Sometimes it is difficult to
not substantiated by    decide whether a statement is a fact or an opinion as a skilful writer might present
positive knowledge      an opinion as if it is true – for example, in a comment such as, ‘Without a doubt,
or truth.               Muhammad Ali was the greatest sports person who ever lived.’ The phrase ‘without a
                        doubt’ may incline an unwary reader to agree that this is a true statement, but it is
                        only the writer’s opinion – putting words such as ‘The writer thinks that …’ before
                        such questionable statements is a good way to help you decide whether they really
                        are facts or not.
                        Exercise 3
                        In the article about women’s football there are both facts and opinions – make a
                        list of each under the two headings ‘Fact’ and ‘Opinion’. When you have done this,
                        compare your list with a partner’s and discuss any points where you disagree.
106
8.3  Passage 2
8.3  Passage 2
Exercise 4
Read carefully the following passage. Imagine that you are a journalist who
was present when this speech was given. Write a report for the readers of your
newspaper in which you make clear the attitude of the speaker and his beliefs
about schools and education.
Note: This is still a summary question, but it is expressed in a slightly different
way from those that you’ve seen so far.
Why Schools Don’t Educate
By John Taylor Gatto                      present much the same way television
                                          does.
I’ve noticed a fascinating phenomenon in  It is absurd and anti-life to be part of
my twenty-five years of teaching – that   a system that compels you to listen to
schools and schooling are increasingly    a stranger reading poetry when you
irrelevant to the great enterprises of    want to learn to construct buildings,
the planet. No one believes anymore       or to sit with a stranger discussing the
that scientists are trained in science    construction of buildings when you want
classes or politicians in civics classes  to read poetry.
or poets in English classes. The truth is It is absurd and anti-life to move from
that schools don’t really teach anything cell to cell at the sound of a gong for
except how to obey orders. This is a great every day of your natural youth in an
                                          institution that allows you no privacy             Two institutions at present control our
mystery to me because thousands of                                                           children’s lives – television and schooling,
humane, caring people work in schools and even follows you into the sanctuary                in that order. Both of these reduce
as teachers and aides and administrators of your home demanding that you do its              the real world of wisdom, fortitude,
but the abstract logic of the institution ‘homework’.                                        temperance, and justice to a never-
overwhelms their individual contributions. How will they learn to read? My answer ending, non-stopping abstraction. In
Although teachers do care and do work is [that] when children are given whole centuries past, the time of a child and
very hard, the institution is psychopathic lives instead of age-graded ones in
– it has no conscience. It rings a bell and cellblocks, they learn to read, write,           adolescent would be occupied in real
the young man in the middle of writing and do arithmetic with ease, if those                 work, real charity, real adventures, and
                                                                                             the realistic search for mentors who
a poem must close his notebook and        things make sense in the kind of life that might teach what you really wanted to
move to a different cell where he must unfolds around them.
                                                                                             learn. A great deal of time was spent in
memorize that man and monkeys derive But keep in mind that in the United States community pursuits, practising affection,
from a common ancestor.                                                                      meeting and studying every level of
                                          almost nobody who reads, writes or
                                          does arithmetic gets much respect. We the community, learning how to make
It is absurd and anti-life to be part of  are a land of talkers, we pay talkers the a home, and dozens of other tasks
a system that compels you to sit in
confinement with people of exactly the most and admire talkers the most, and necessary to become a whole man or
same age and social class. That system so our children talk constantly, following woman.
effectively cuts you off from the immense the public models of television and
diversity of life and the synergy of variety, schoolteachers. It is very difficult to teach  Source: adapted from The Natural Child
indeed it cuts you off from your own past the ‘basics’ anymore because they really           Project, www.naturalchild.org/guest/
and future, scaling you to a continuous aren’t basic to the society we’ve made.              john_gatto.html
                                                                                                                                       107
8	Further summary practice
                     Exercise 5
                     Choose two ideas put forward by John Gatto in this speech and then write a letter
                     to the newspaper in which the report was published saying in detail why you
                     agree or disagree with the views he expresses. Remember, you must show clear
                     understanding of the original ideas as well as giving your own views.
Key term             8.4 Passage 3
Satirical: A satire  The next passage is taken from Charles Dickens’ Bleak House. It is, therefore, an
is a piece of        extract from a fictional text and because it was written over a hundred years ago,
writing, etc. that   the language is quite complex (which may help to make summarising easier).
criticises people
or institutions        Dickens is describing Mrs Jellyby satirically. She a character who is devoted to
humorously by        charitable activities aimed at people in foreign countries but fails to notice the
mocking them.        poverty on her own doorstep or that she is neglecting the welfare of her family.
                     Exercise 6
                     By referring closely to the passage, write a summary, using your own words, of:
                     •	 What you have learned about Mrs Jellyby and the house in which she lives.
                     •	 The criticisms the author is making of her and her lifestyle. (Note: In this part of
                        the question you are asked to describe the author’s criticisms, not to summarise
                        the comments made about the character in the novel who is describing the
                        visit.)
Mrs Jellyby
108
8.5 Passage 4
Exercise 7
Re-read the passage and then select six words or phrases describing Mrs Jellyby,
her house and her family. Explain how each word or phrase selected is used
effectively to suggest the lifestyle and attitude of Mrs Jellyby.
You should write about 150 to 200 words.
8.5 Passage 4
Exercise 8
The society in which we live is very much dominated by advertisements of
all kinds. This passage is about the ways in which advertising first came to
prominence many years ago. Read the passage carefully and then make notes of
what it tells you about the origins of advertising.
                                                                                                                                               109
8	Further summary practice
     Early Advertising
     Although word of mouth, the most basic (and still the           seven beans into India in 1570 and planted them. Coffee
     most powerful) form of advertising, has been around ever        then spread to Italy, and throughout Europe, served at
     since humans started providing each other with goods            coffeehouses. The rapid spread of coffee as both a drink
     and services, advertising as a discrete form is generally       and a pattern of behaviour (coffeehouses became social
     agreed to have begun alongside newspapers, in the               gathering places) is in no small part due to the advertising
     seventeenth century. Frenchman Théophraste Renaudot             of coffee’s benefits in newspapers.
     (Louis XIII’s official physician) created a very early version
     of the supermarket noticeboard, a ‘bureau des addresses         When goods were hand-made by local craftsmen in small
     et des rencontres’. Parisians seeking or offering jobs,         quantities, there was no need for advertising. Buyer and
     or wanting to buy or sell                                       seller were personally known to one another, and the
     goods, put notices at the
     office on Île de la Cité. So                                                                     buyer was likely to have
     that the maximum number                                                                          direct experience of the
     of people had access to                                                                          product. The buyer also
     this information, Renaudot                                                                       had much more contact
     created La Gazette in 1631,                                                                      with the production
     the first French newspaper.                                                                      process, especially for
     The personal ad was born.                                                                        items like clothing (hand-
                                                                                                      stitched to fit) and food
     In England, line                                                                                 (assembled from simple,
     advertisements in                                                                                raw ingredients). Packaging
     newspapers were very                                                                             and branding were
     popular in the second                                                                            unknown and unnecessary
     half of the seventeenth                                                                          before the Industrial
     century, often announcing                                                                        Revolution. However, once
     the publication of a new                                                                         technological advances
     book, or the opening of a                                                                        enabled the mass
     new play. The Great Fire                                                                         production of soap, china,
     of London in 1666 was                                                                            clothing, etc., the close
     a boost to this type of                                                                          personal links between
     advertisement, as people                                                                         buyer and seller were
     used newspapers in the aftermath of the fire to advertise                                        broken. Rather than selling
     lost and found, and changes of address. These early             out of their back yards to local customers, manufacturers
     line ads were predominantly informative, containing             sought markets a long way from their factories,
     descriptive, rather than persuasive language.                   sometimes on the other side of the world.
     Advertisements were of key importance, even at this             This created a need for advertising. Manufacturers
     early point in their history, when it came to informing         needed to explain and recommend their products to
     consumers about new products. Coffee is one such                customers whom they would never meet personally.
     example. Coffee was first brewed into a drink in the            Manufacturers, in chasing far-off markets, were
     Middle East, in the fifteenth century. The Arabs kept the       beginning to compete with each other. Therefore
     existence of this vivifying concoction a secret, refusing to    they needed to brand their products, in order to
     export beans (or instructions on how to grind and brew          distinguish them from one another, and create mass
     them). Legend has it that Sufi Baba Budan smuggled              recommendations to support the mass production and
                                                                     consumption model.
110
8.6  Passage 5
Newspapers provided the ideal vehicle for this new           aggressive about pushing their products if they were to
phenomenon, advertisements. New technologies were            survive. He bought the copyright to a painting by noted
also making newspapers cheaper, more widely available,       pre-Raphaelite artist Sir John Everett Millais, originally
and more frequently printed. They had more pages, so         entitled ‘Bubbles’. Barratt added a bar of Pears Soap
they could carry more, bigger, advertisements. Simple        to the bottom left of the image, and emblazoned the
descriptions, plus prices, of products served their purpose  company name across the top, launching the series of
until the mid-nineteenth century, when technological         ads featuring cherubic children which firmly welded the
advances meant that illustrations could be added to          brand to the values it still holds today. He took images
advertising, and colour was also an option. Advertisers      considered as ‘fine art’ and used them to connote his
started to add copy under the simple headings, describing    brand’s quality, purity (i.e. untainted by commercialism)
their products using persuasive prose.                       and simplicity (cherubic children). The campaign was a
                                                             huge success.
An early advertising success story is that of Pears
Soap. Thomas Barratt married into the famous soap-                                                         Source: Mediaknowall
making family and realised that they needed to be more
Exercise 9
Now use the notes that you made in Exercise 8 to write an article for a textbook
intended for younger school students (10–11 years old). You should write about
250 words.
8.6  Passage 5
Exercise 10
Read carefully the two passages that follow. Write a summary, using information
from both passages, of what you learn about Efteling Theme Park and what visitors
can do there.
Visit to Efteling Theme Park
One of our fun-filled outings as a family with young kids    lot the building with its pointed cones beckons you with
has been to Efteling Theme Park, in the Netherlands.         promises and treats galore. Once you get inside, both
Efteling is one of the oldest theme parks in the world       children and adults are transported to a totally charming
(rumour has it that the Disney Parks was inspired by         land of fairy tale characters and interesting rides.
Efteling). It is a fantasy-based theme park and  all
rides and attractions are based on popular fairy tales,      The park is based over an area of 160 acres (about 0.6
folklores, myths and legends. As you enter the parking       km2) and spread over a natural forest area with pine
                                                                                                                                 111
8	Further summary practice
     trees and many ponds and gardens which have been all          half day we had there. Wander into the Fairy Tale
     used scenically to create an old world charm making it        Forest and encounter fairy-tale characters – Rapunzel
     very different from a modern theme park. What I also          lowering her hair, the dancing red shoes, the houses
     want to say is there is a fair bit of walking to do. One can  of Rumpelstiltskin, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,
     take prams for little ones or can even rent some push-        The Frog King, Sleeping Beauty, Long-Neck, etc. Most of
     cars for the older ones. You can also take a steam train      these are houses which show the characters with all the
     from a quaint station which takes you around the park         props and the attention to detail is really commendable.
     and its attractions.                                          The most compelling of the lot was the Fairy Tale Tree
                                                                   (Sprookjesboom). The tree tells all those gathered around
     Efteling started in 1952 as a theme park for children         it fairy tales and you can almost believe it’s true as you
     and then kept adding incrementally to become a park           see it moving its jaws. There are also these waste paper
     targeted at both adults and children. The entire park         bins called Holle Bolle Gijs, based on the story of a very
     can be divided into four realms broadly speaking – Fairy,     hungry boy, who keeps saying paper here, paper here,
     Travel, Adventure and Other Realm (the names make             basically meaning don’t litter.
     more sense in Dutch, but I am presenting the English
     translations here) – based on the type of attractions.        A must-see is Efteling Museum which also tells us about
                                                                   the history of the park, a pity most of it is in Dutch. My
     If you go with young ones, you are most likely to do          personal favorite was the Diorama – a 3D miniature
     the Fairy Realm in detail, which is what we did in the        model of railways, houses, lives of the fairy-tale people. I
                                                                   also loved Villa Volta – a madhouse where you experience
                                                                   bizarre things. Raveleijn is a live animation show, based
                                                                   on a fantasy book for young children. There is a Steam
                                                                   Carousel which is popular, too.
                                                                   I would say that it’s impossible to do the entire park in
                                                                   one day, or half a day. There is an option to stay in the
                                                                   park in a hotel or outside in other hotels in Kaastheuvel,
                                                                   which gives you an option of starting early and exploring
                                                                   more. There are many options for food – including
                                                                   for vegetarians. If you are ever in the Netherlands or
                                                                   Belgium, do plan to visit this park.
                                                                             Source: adapted from Indian Moms Connect, 2 January 2013
Cheesy ... but charming
By Sheryl Garratt
Sheryl Garratt and five-year-old son Liam visit an eccentric Dutch theme park. No Mickey Mouse here – it’s more
fairies and trolls, snowball-throwing games and talking litter bins ...
Soon after arriving at the Dutch theme   man screamed in agony as a dentist           moved from one set to another; fairies
park Efteling, we were in a boat on a    administered to him in an open-air           perched in trees in a rainy wood full of
man-made waterway which is pretty        surgery. We even got to drift between        goblins and trolls.
much as you’d expect of a trip to        the legs of a giant.
Holland. Apart from the camels and the                                                These state-of-the-art rides are recent
crocodiles ...                           An hour or so later, we were floating        additions to a fairy tale-themed park that
                                         again, this time in the air in open-fronted  is almost 50 years old, set in the Brabant
Floating through the bazaar of the       cable cars. The fairytale scenes before      region near the Belgian border. Efteling’s
fictional Arabian town of Fata Morgana,  us on the Dream Flight were cheesy           mature woods make it less artificial than
we passed hordes of shoppers and         but charming, and beautifully done: the      most theme parks, with clever details
beggars crowding the bazaar while a      smells and temperature changed as we         like talking litter bins to keep little
112
8.6  Passage 5
minds occupied and little legs walking.   around for much of the time in total       which chugs around the park, there is
Wholesome and quietly appealing, it’s     darkness, leaving you disorientated.       plenty added on to compensate. There’s
a great place to blow away the winter     ‘Mum, you look funny,’ observed Liam       a huge indoor skating rink, where small
cobwebs.                                  cheerfully as I got off; ignoring my pale  children glide along holding on to chairs
                                          smile he dragged me on to the nearby       and parents can have hot drinks in the
My five-year-old son’s favourite spot
was the Fairytale Forest,                 Carnival Festival ride. He loved it and         ‘après-ski’ bar. An indoor winter
featuring low-tech tableaux               wanted to go on again immediately.              wonderland playground provides
from various fairy stories. A             This is only the second year the park has       huge inflatables, snowball-throwing
fakir who was charming tulips             opened during the winter months, as             stalls and a snow slide that children
from the ground before flying             ‘Winter’ Efteling. Although the majority        can hurtle down on tyres.
from one side of his home to              of the rollercoasters and white-knuckle
another on a creaky magic                 rides are closed, and can be seen only          On the crisp, clear winter days we
carpet had Liam transfixed.               from the carriages of a steam train             were there, we were warmed up
                                                                                          by frequent visits to reasonably
We stayed in the Efteling                                                                 priced stalls selling hot chocolate
Hotel, well suited for children.                                                          and delicious hot snacks (from
It has a generous play area                                                               doughnuts to French fries with
with actors dressed as fairies                                                            mayonnaise). However, there is
and trolls. The family rooms                                                              plenty to do undercover, so even
were large and comfortable                                                                rain wouldn’t have dampened our
and the hotel has its own entrance to                                                spirits. We spent more than an hour, for
the park, allowing guests to get to some                                             instance, in a building housing a glorious
of the more popular rides before queues                                              150-year-old steam carousel, an ornate
build up.                                                                            miniature railway, a theatre where
                                                                                     fountains danced to music and several
The next morning, my husband played                                                  refreshment bars.
with our son in a nearby maze, while I
rode on the stomach-churning Bird Rok,                                                               Source: adapted from the Observer,
an indoor rollercoaster which lurches                                                                                    25 November 2001
Exercise 11
Imagine that you have visited Efteling Theme Park with your family (including a
younger sister) while on holiday in Europe. Using details from both passages, write
the words for a blog intended for your friends at home. In your blog:
•	 Give a brief description of the park.
•	 Describe what you did there.
•	 Say what you and your sister enjoyed and did not enjoy about your visit.
Unit summary
In this unit you have reviewed the objectives:
•	 demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
•	 demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
•	 select and use information for specific purposes
•	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
•	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
•	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                                                                                     113
9	 Improving your writing
                             In this unit you will:
                             H	 demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
                             H	 demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
                             H	 analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate
                                 support from the text
                             H	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
                             H	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
                             H	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
                             H	 use register appropriate to context
                             H	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                             This unit will focus on the following skills:
                       Reading
                             H	 demonstrate understanding of written texts, and of the words and phrases
                                 within them
                             H	 develop, analyse and evaluate facts, ideas and opinions
                             H	 select appropriate information for specific purposes.
                       Writing
                             H	 express what is thought, felt and imagined
                             H	 organise and convey facts, ideas and opinions effectively
                             H	 demonstrate a varied vocabulary appropriate to the context
                             H	 demonstrate an effective use of sentence structures
                             H	 demonstrate an understanding of audience, purpose and form
                             H	 demonstrate accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.
 114
Introduction
                        Introduction
                        IGCSE First Language English examinations test your Writing skills through two different
                        tasks. One is a Directed Writing task worth 40 marks which is marked for both Reading
                        and Writing and requires a response to two texts included in the question paper.
                          The second task requires you to write one composition (marked for Writing only)
                        chosen from a choice of four topics (two descriptive and two narrative titles).
                        9.1  Improving your writing
                        Always keep in mind the key areas that you will be assessed on for any piece of writing,
                        whether it is a composition, a piece of directed writing or coursework.
                          Writing well means that you should be able to:
                        »	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
                        »	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
                        »	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
                        »	 use register appropriate to context
                        »	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                        9.2  Using Standard English
                        Languages vary. Each language differs according to the particular area where it is being
                        spoken, and a language as widespread as English has many different variations and
                        versions. There are two main kinds of variation:
Key terms               »	 accents, which are simply variations in the way the language is pronounced
                        »	 dialects, which are more significant variations, each with its own words and
Accent: The way in
which people in a          expressions.
particular country,
area or social group    The accent and dialect spoken in an area are often an important part of that area’s
pronounce words.        identity. It is a mistake to say that any particular dialect of a language is ‘wrong’
Dialect: A particular   although, in practice, people compare other dialects of English to the form that has
form of language        come to be known as Standard English.
peculiar to a specific
region or social          The term ‘Standard English’ is the form of English that is agreed to be generally
group.                  accepted for written English, and it is the form of the language taught to students
Standard English:       learning English. You should use standard English for most of the written work you
The most widely         produce as part of your course and for any examination. This means following some
accepted form of the    generally recognised Standard English rules about:
English language,
as written and          »	 spelling (although US spelling is not penalised in some international examinations)
spoken by educated      »	 punctuation and sentence structure
people in both          »	paragraphing.
formal and informal
contexts.               While written English – for learning purposes, at least – should conform to Standard
                        English, the same does not apply to speech. It would be impossible, for example, to
                        speak in complete sentences all the time – and where are the paragraphs?
                          In speech, language is much less planned and more natural. So, when you are writing
                        in any formal context, including an English Language examination, don’t write as you
                        speak unless you are writing some words that were spoken or are meant to be spoken,
                        for example:
                        »	 when you are quoting someone                                                        115
                        »	 when you are writing direct speech
                        »	 when you are writing a script.
9	 Improving your writing
Key term            Exercise 1
Idiom: A form of    There are a large number of idioms used by speakers of English and these
expression that     sometimes confuse people who are not first language English speakers. In the
is particular to a  sentences that follow, the idioms have been written in italics.
certain person or   Re-write each sentence in Standard English to show that you have understood the
group of people.    idiom.
                    1		 The argument about whether to add an extra ten minutes to the school day
                         proved to be a real hot potato.
                    2		 The detective spent a long time investigating the actions of the murder suspect
                         but realised he was barking up the wrong tree once the suspect produced a
                         watertight alibi.
                    3		 ‘Stop beating around the bush,’ said the Principal. ‘Are you going to tell me how
                         the window was broken or not?’
                    4		 I asked all my friends to help with my geometry homework but I realised that I
                         was clutching at straws as they understood it no more than I did.
                    5		 My parents treated me to a very enjoyable meal for my birthday but I’m sure
                         that it cost them an arm and a leg.
                    6		 ‘There’s no point crying over spilt milk,’ said my sister. ‘There’s sure to be
                         another opportunity in the future.’
                    7		 After being caught out by a heavy rainstorm and spending the afternoon in my
                         wet clothes, I was feeling very much under the weather when I went to bed.
                    8		 ‘Thank you for that comment,’ said the teacher. ‘It’s really hit the nail on the
                         head.’
                    9		 ‘Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes,’ said my father. ‘I was young once,
                         remember.’
                    10	 We had to decide whether we were in favour of a longer school day or not, but
                         some of my friends continued to sit on the fence.
                    The passage that follows is an extract from an essay written by George Orwell. If
                    you have read any of Orwell’s books, such as Animal Farm or 1984, you will realise
                    how important he thought it was that everyone should be fully aware of how easy
                    it is for people in power to manipulate the way people think through their use of
                    language and how even more important it is that individuals should question and
                    analyse the language used by those in power. The concerns that Orwell expressed in
                    this essay over 70 years ago are still important to our lives today.
Extract from Orwell’s essay ‘Politics
and the English Language’
On the other hand, it is not concerned with fake simplicity    around. In prose, the worst thing one can do with words is
and the attempt to make written English colloquial. Nor does   surrender to them. When you think of a concrete object, you
it even imply in every case preferring the Saxon word to the   think wordlessly, and then, if you want to describe the thing you
Latin one, though it does imply using the fewest and shortest  have been visualising you probably hunt about until you find the
words that will cover one’s meaning. What is above all needed  exact words that seem to fit it. When you think of something
is to let the meaning choose the word, and not the other way   abstract you are more inclined to use words from the start, and
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9.3 Spelling
unless you make a conscious effort to prevent it, the existing      another person. This last effort of the mind cuts out all stale or
dialect will come rushing in and do the job for you, at the         mixed images, all prefabricated phrases, needless repetitions,
expense of blurring or even changing your meaning. Probably it      and humbug and vagueness generally. But one can often
is better to put off using words as long as possible and get one’s  be in doubt about the effect of a word or a phrase, and one
meaning as clear as one can through pictures and sensations.        needs rules that one can rely on when instinct fails. I think the
                                                                    following rules will cover most cases:
Afterward one can choose — not simply accept — the phrases
that will best cover the meaning, and then switch round and         1	 Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which
decide what impressions one’s words are likely to make on             you are used to seeing in print.
                                                                    2	 Never use a long word where a short one will do.
                                                                    3	 If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
                                                                    4	 Never use the passive where you can use the active.
                                                                    5	Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon
                                                                      word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
                                                                    6	Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright
                                                                      barbarous.
                                                                    These rules sound elementary, and so they are, but they demand
                                                                    a deep change of attitude in anyone who has grown used to
                                                                    writing in the style now fashionable. One could keep all of them
                                                                    and still write bad English, but one could not write the kind of
                                                                    stuff that I quoted earlier in the article.
                                                                              Source: www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit
9.3 Spelling
Some people not only convince themselves that they can’t spell but think that,
because they can’t spell, everything they write is a failure.
  If spelling is a problem for you, there are ways you can deal with it. Lack of
confidence can make a problem seem worse than it really is. There is no such person
as a perfect speller. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. However, some key
strategies can help to improve your spelling, as explained below.
How to improve your spelling
»	 Look at words. People who read a lot see words and absorb them. If you come
   across a word that you find difficult, pause for a moment and look at it. Look at
   the shape of the word. After a while you will find that you recognise the word
   more easily and you can automatically think of its shape.
»	 Draw up a list of common words. Some words occur more frequently in your
   writing than others. Draw up a list of these words and spend a few minutes each
   day or every other day reading the list, covering it up and practising writing the
   words.
»	 Learn some spelling rules. Although there are a lot of words that break rules,
   nevertheless you can learn rules about spelling which are helpful. ‘I before E
   except after C’, for example, helps you spell correctly a whole variety of words
   that have this letter combination. Find a book on spelling and look up the rules.
   Don’t try to learn them all at once; just try to learn one or two at a time.
»	 Say words out loud rather than just staring at the paper. It won’t always mean
   that you spell them correctly but, if you write down what you hear, the chances
   are that the word will be recognisable and it might jog your memory.
                                                                                                                                               117
9	 Improving your writing
                          »	 Use a dictionary to check your spelling rather than as the first step. Don’t be
                             discouraged if you can’t find the word straight away. Remember, for instance, that
                             some words, such as ‘know’ and ‘gnome’, have silent first letters.
                          »	 Make sure you copy out names correctly. If you are doing a piece of directed
                             writing and there are proper names in the stimulus material, or if you are
                             responding to a piece of literature, there is no excuse for getting the spelling of
                             names of people or places wrong.
                          »	 Remember that vocabulary is more important than spelling. Don’t let
                             uncertainty about spelling frighten you away from using challenging and
                             interesting vocabulary. It is better to use interesting vocabulary with the
                             occasional spelling error than to ‘dumb down’ your writing, using only very simple
                             words that you know you can spell.
                          »	 Most importantly, remember to check what you have written. One of the
                             things to check is your spelling. You will probably not correct everything, but
                             increasingly you will find that you can spot your own mistakes.
 Why spelling matters
This blog challenges a few myths in spelling education       have caught the mistake and spelled it ‘government’ – it
and shares solutions to help students want to and aim to     was a printed banner! The press really had fun with this.
spell better.                                                It matters when it’s published!
                                                             Unless you are encouraging fledgling writers in Grade
Myth #1                                                      1 by promoting writing fluency, spelling matters when
‘We don’t teach spelling anymore – spelling doesn’t          a piece of writing is taken through editing, is ‘published’
matter.’                                                     and is on display. It should be correct in newspaper
It matters when it’s public!                                 articles and books. It should be correct in anything that is
If you are applying for a job, painting instructions on a    considered a final draft.
road, posting instructions on a sign – particularly outside  Spelling does not matter when you are texting, when
of a school – writing report cards for parents, spelling     you are creating a grocery list, when you are writing
matters. It matters when it’s political. Premier of Ontario  a first or second draft, or when you are a child and
Kathleen Wynne once gave a speech on a podium                spontaneously writing a card to your mum or dad.
stating ‘open goverment.’ Someone on her staff should
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9.4 Punctuation
Myth #2                                                     So what do we do as teachers? We teach children to
‘There is absolutely no logic to the English language.      look for patterns so that there are a limited number of
English spelling is a nightmare for kids and they find      alternatives, not infinite possibilities, when you spell a
themselves lost in a maze of words.’                        word. For example, if a word begins with the sound of
There is more logic to English than you think. Different    ‘n’ and it is not ‘n,’ what are the possibilities? ‘Kn-‘, ‘gn-’,
spellings of the words pear, pair and pare immediately      ‘pn-’, with ‘kn-’ as most common. Otherwise, it is hard
indicate different meanings to the reader. If they were     to find the word in a dictionary to check the spelling!
all spelled the same way, you would have to search the      Young children tend to spell the word ‘was’ as ‘woz.’ If
entire sentence or paragraph to establish the meaning,      you match it to ‘wall, ball and fall,’ that pattern may help
but  you recognize it, here, in one word. The same          them to remember that ‘was’ has the vowel ‘a.’ They also
applies to all homonyms.                                    need to know that very few English words end in a single
Before dictionaries, people spelled words the way they      ‘z,’ so they can check their own writing for something
sounded with different dialects and different spellings.    like this.
Written communication was difficult. Dictionaries           Instead of telling children what the patterns are, you can
standardized spelling, helping communication. Because       ask them in the form of a question – do you think more
language is living, spelling on both sides of the Atlantic  words begin with ‘kn-’ or ‘gn-’? If the sound ‘-tion’ at the
is starting to differ more and more. This can create even   end of a word is never spelled ‘-shun,’ and there are
more exceptions, for example, in American English           almost 1,200 words which are spelled with ‘-ation’ at the
judgment is now commonly spelled without an “e.”            end, can you find 20, 50, 100? Out of nation, station,
I always taught kids to add a suffix to the root word,      destination, preparation, legislation, etc., there are only
‘judge’ + ‘-ment’ = ‘judgement.’ Now that word is an        four exceptions. Two exceptions are crustacean and
exception, attempts to ‘simplify’ spelling are not always   Dalmatian.
successful.
                                                                Source: http://thelearningexchange.ca/does-spelling-matter 
                    Exercise 2
                    Here is a collection of words that are commonly confused and misspelt. Write
                    sentences for each group of words which make their meanings clear to a reader.
                    Affect/Effect	Assure/Ensure/Insure
                    Breath/Breathe	Emigrate/Immigrate
                    Lead/Led	Loose/Lose
                    Stationary/Stationery	Their/There/They’re
                    To/Too/Two	Whose/Who’s
Key term            9.4 Punctuation
Comma: A            The first question you should ask yourself when you are thinking about punctuation
punctuation mark    is, ‘What is it for?’ Punctuation is all about making life easier for the reader.
(,) used to show a  In particular, it indicates to the reader where he/she needs to pause. There are four
slight pause and    punctuation marks that indicate a pause and each indicates a different length of
so on.              pause.
                    »	 The shortest pause is the comma. A comma allows you to group words within a
                       longer sentence so that the reader can see the idea developing. If you can, read
                       what you have written out loud. You will find that you naturally pause, and each
                       time you do you can probably use a comma.
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9	 Improving your writing
Key terms              »	 The longest pause is a full stop. You put full stops at the end of sentences.
Full stop: A              They indicate that the point is complete and finished. Remember that you can’t
punctuation mark (.)      turn simple sentences into more complex ones just by using commas instead of
indicating the end of     full stops. However short the sentence, once the idea is complete put a full stop.
a sentence.
Semi-colon: A          »	 In some ways the semi-colon is the most difficult of the pause marks to use.
punctuation symbol        When you are reading, look out for semi-colons to see where writers have used
(;) used to connect       them. Read through this book and you will see that we have used semi-colons
independent clauses       in several places. If you write a sentence in two balanced halves, and you want
closely related in        to keep the ideas of the two halves together rather than separating them into
meaning.                  two sentences, use a semi-colon. The pause is a little longer than for a comma
Colon: A                  and, by using it, you will be saying to the reader ‘This is one idea which has two
punctuation mark (:)      halves’.
used to introduce a
list and so on.        »	 The last of the four pause marks is the colon. You use a colon most frequently to
                          introduce a list of items. It allows a substantial pause before the list but doesn’t
Key terms                 separate everything completely, as a full stop would. (You start a list with a colon
Question mark: A          and then often use a semi-colon or a comma between the different items on the
punctuation mark          list.)
(?) indicating that a
question has been      Other punctuation marks have specific jobs to do and we will mention two of them
asked.                 here.
Exclamation mark:      »	A question mark is a specialised full stop – in fact, part of it is a full stop. It is
A punctuation
mark (!) to indicate      used at the end of a sentence that is in the form of a question. It is a signal to
an interjection or        the reader that a question has been asked, and that either the next sentence will
exclamation.              be in the form of an answer or the reader will be required to think out the answer
                          for him- or herself.
                       »	An exclamation mark is also used in place of a full stop. It is used at the end of
                          very short sentences, sometimes one-word sentences, where the writer wants to
                          draw attention to something or pull the reader up short.
                       You must also know how to punctuate direct speech.
                       »	 You put speech marks around the words that are actually spoken.
                       »	 Other punctuation marks, such as full stops, commas and question marks, go
                          inside the speech marks.
                       »	 Every time speech shifts from one speaker to another, you start a new line.
                       Remember these points and you won’t go far wrong. Don’t forget that the purpose of
                       punctuation is to help the reader. Write a paragraph with no punctuation at all and
                       see how difficult it is to read. If you read it aloud, you will notice that you naturally
                       add the punctuation.
                       Exercise 3
                       A very slight mistake in punctuation (especially in the use of a comma) can
                       produce a significant change in the meaning of what you intended to say. Here is a
                       blog that highlights such errors.
                       Read through it and then, with a partner, discuss how the misapplication of
                       punctuation affects the writer’s meaning.
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9.4 Punctuation
Why Punctuation
Matters: ‘A Man Eating
Shark’ or ‘A Man-Eating
Shark’?
‘A sentence may be deprived of half its force … by improper punctuations’
by Richard Nordquist
As the examples in this article demonstrate, punctuation affects meaning—sometimes dramatically. Here’s Edgar Allan Poe reflecting on the point of
punctuation:
That punctuation is important all agree; but how few comprehend the extent of its importance! The writer who neglects punctuation,
or mis-punctuates, is liable to be misunderstood–this, according to the popular idea, is the sum of the evils, arising from heedlessness
or ignorance. It does not seem to be known that, even where the sense is perfectly clear, a sentence may be deprived of half its force–its
spirit–its point–by improper punctuations. For the want of merely a comma, it often occurs that an axiom appears a paradox, or that a
sarcasm is converted into a sermonoid. …
There seems to exist a vulgar notion that the subject is one of pure conventionality, and cannot be brought within the limits of
intelligible and consistent rule. And yet, if fairly looked in the face, the whole matter is so plain that its rationale may be read as we run.
(Edgar Allan Poe, “Marginalia.” Graham’s American Monthly Magazine, February 1848)
With Poe’s observation in mind, consider the difference in meaning or force in each of these sentence pairs.
I’m sorry you can’t come with us.	                                            I’m sorry. You can’t come with us.
The Democrats say the Republicans will lose the election.	                    The Democrats, say the Republicans, will lose the election.
Call me fool if you wish. 	                                                   Call me, fool, if you wish.
The three passengers who were seriously injured were taken to the hospital.	  The three passengers, who were seriously injured, were taken to the hospital.
Do not break your bread or roll in your soup.	                                Do not break your bread, or roll in your soup.
A woman without her man is nothing. 	                                         A woman: without her, man is nothing.
“The criminal,” says the judge, “should be hanged.” 	                         The criminal says, “The judge should be hanged.”
I saw a man eating shark. 	                                                   I saw a man-eating shark.
The lion knows its master on the plains of Africa. 	                          The lion knows it’s master on the plains of Africa.
The butler stood by the door and called the guests names. 	                   The butler stood by the door and called the guests’ names.
Basic rules of punctuation
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have
ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy–will you let me be yours?
Jane
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have
ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Jane
                                                                                                                   Source: www.thoughtco.com/why-punctuation-matters-1691731
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9	 Improving your writing
Key term                9.5  Using paragraphs
Paragraph: A            A paragraph is a collection of sentences that go together to make a section of a
distinct portion of     piece of writing. The sentences are all about the same idea.
writing consisting of
sentences focused         The paragraph normally begins with a topic sentence, which tells you what the
on a single idea.       paragraph is going to be about. The other sentences then develop the ideas.
Study tip                 You could say that paragraphing is a sort of punctuation. A sentence is a group
                        of words that go together to make a sensible whole; a paragraph is a group of
If the piece you        sentences that do the same thing.
are writing is for
a leaflet, advert         Make sure not only that you use paragraphs, but that you use them correctly.
or pamphlet or is       Sometimes it’s easy to forget about paragraphing when you are writing quickly and
some other kind of      concentrating on what you want to say. It’s important to read through your work to
publicity material,     make sure that:
you will need to use    »	 you have started a new paragraph often enough
other devices as        »	 you have started the new paragraphs in sensible places.
well as, or instead
of, paragraphs to       Example of clear paragraphing
divide your text into
‘bite-sized’ chunks     The short article ‘Murderball: Spiked wheelchairs. Crashes galore.’ is written in nine
that are quick and      paragraphs. You will see that each paragraph or group of paragraphs develops a
easy to follow. For     different point.
example, you might
use:                      Elsewhere we have talked about structure. Clearly, the paragraphing has given this
                        short article a very good structure.
•	 several short sub-
   headings, or           Wheelchair rugby, popularly known as ‘murderball’, is one of the most exciting
                        events of the Paralympic Games. The passage that follows is an extract from an
•	 bullet points, like  article about this sport and focuses on Kylie Grimes, the only female member of the
   the ones being       UK Team in the 2012 Games.
   used here!
The one-sentence       Murderball: Spiked
opening paragraph      wheelchairs. Crashes galore.
clearly establishes
the point of the       By David Jones
article and instantly
engages the reader.
                       Among all the uplifting biographies in these   pool, but she lost the case. Nevertheless, by   The second and
                       Games, Kylie’s is particularly inspirational.  that time, her fortunes had undergone an        third paragraphs
                                                                      astonishing transformation that no money        supply precise
                       Aged 18, she was a sporty student who          could buy.                                      details as to the
                       travelled the country competing in equestrian                                                  cause of Kylie’s
                       events. Then, one night, while attending a     It came when, having attempted wheelchair       disability and its
                       party at a friend’s home, she dived into the   racing and found it too painful to sit in the   results; the final
                       shallow indoor swimming pool — and her life    required position, her therapists at the        sentence of the
                       changed in an instant. Striking her head on    Aspire Centre for spinal injuries in Stanmore,  third paragraph
                       the bottom, she snapped her spine and was      Middlesex, suggested she try ‘murderball’, in   provides a link to
                       paralysed from the neck down. Even her arm     which the chair is designed differently.        the more positive
                       movements are limited, and it seemed unlikely                                                  picture presented
                       she would ever participate in sport again.     She started by playing for Kent Crusaders,      by the rest of the
                                                                      one of just ten teams in the UK, and showed     article.
                       She at first made an attempt to sue the        such tactical awareness and raw courage as
                       owner of the house where the party was held    a defensive player that within only two years
                       for £6 million compensation, claiming there    she was selected for the Paralympic squad.
                       should have been a warning sign beside the
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9.5  Using paragraphs
Paragraphs 4 and 5      ‘Kylie was hooked on the sport as soon as        an exhibitionist — she has dyed her hair bright           The final paragraph
provide a summary       she saw it,’ says her mother, Karen. ‘She has    red for the Paralympics and had a Union Jack              returns to the
of Kylie’s career up    always been a great team-player, and from        etched into a shaven section of her scalp.                writer’s perspective
to the present day      the moment she was injured she never looked                                                                and the situation
when she is about       back, only forward. She told me: “Mum, it’s                      Source: the Daily Mail, 5 September 2012  in general, but also
to compete in the       not about what I can’t do — it’s about what                                                                includes specific
2012 Paralympic         I can do.”                                       Wheelchair rugby is practised in over twenty              details about Kylie’s
Games.                                                                   countries around the world.                               appearance, which
                        ‘At first I was nervous when I watched her,                                                                leaves the reader
Paragraphs 6 to 8       and she was sometimes thrown out of her                                                                    with a strong sense
consist of a series of  chair. But now I don’t worry because, as she                                                               of her individuality.
comments about her      says, she has already broken her neck — so
daughter’s strengths    there’s not much worse that can happen, is
from Kylie’s mother.    there?
This provides a wider
perspective on her      ‘She knows she’ll be hit just as hard as the
situation and also      men, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.’
gives a more personal
tone to the article.    Having watched her yesterday, I have no
The final, very short   doubt of it. Kylie is also clearly something of
paragraph effectively
emphasises Kylie’s      Exercise 4
determination and
commitment to her       It is important that your writing is structured logically in linked paragraphs.
sport.                  Printed below are seven paragraphs giving information about how a hurricane is
                        formed. However, only the first paragraph is in the correct place – the remaining
                        six are jumbled up.
                        Read through the paragraphs and rearrange them in the most logical order. As you
                        do so, make a note of any clues in the wording that you used to help you.
How do hurricanes form?
1	 Hurricanes only form on     even warmer waters. The                   3	 In a couple of days, as the
   warm ocean waters of        energy from the warm                         system moves over warmer
   about 80°F. This is why     ocean, in the form of                        waters, the clouds expand
   they are common in the      very warm air rising and                     even more, and the winds
   tropics where temperatures  the gushing of cooler air                    begin to speed up. Gale
   are high all year round.    replacing it throws the                      force winds, thunderstorms
   Hurricanes also need wind   entire storm into a fury,                    and heavy rains are in full
   action to form.             a powerful, huge and                         force at this point. This may
                               monstrous spiral storm that                  be called a tropical storm,
2	 Continuing its movement     can be seen from space. The                  and they have wind speeds
   westward, the tropical      spiral has a calm centre                     up to 120 kilometres per
   storm may be moving over    called the eye.                              hour.
                                                                                                                                   123
9	 Improving your writing
     4	 The eye is surrounded          to move in a circular             winds will subside and
        by a towering and              manner, caused by the             eventually end, but the
        extremely dangerous            Earth’s rotation. The rising      rains may continue.
        vertical movement of           warm air causes pressure to
        thunderstorms. This is         decrease at higher altitudes.  7	 Warm air, together with
        called the eye wall. The       The entire system is now          moisture from evaporation
        winds of the eye wall are      in circular motion around         from the ocean surface,
        so powerful that it spins      a central point. This is          rises, creating low pressure
        and carries huge amounts       called a tropical depression      on the water surface,
        of ocean water as it moves     and they have wind speeds         which is immediately
        ashore.                        going up to about 60              replaced by cooler air. This
                                       kilometres per hour.              process continues, and the
     5	 The thunderstorms with                                           resulting moisture-laden
        rains begin to move slowly  6	 The hurricane has now             clouds begin to expand.
        with mild western winds        made landfall (has reached        Thunderstorms with rains
        (too much wind will            land). With winds of over         form.
        disperse the build-up).        120 to about 250 kph,
        In a day or two, stronger      massive destruction is          Source: http://eschooltoday.com/
        vertical currents build        usually inevitable. As the
        up over the ocean surface      system is no more over          natural-disasters/hurricanes/how-
        upward. More warm air          water, its fuel has run out
        rises and the winds begin      and begins to ease out. The     do-hurricanes-form.html
124
9.7  Controlling and choosing language
Key terms              9.6 Tenses
Present tense/Past     Quite often students get tenses confused, swapping from present tense to past
tense: A tense is the  tense and back again, especially in stories.
form of a verb that
indicates the time of    When you are writing, think carefully about the tense you are writing in – if
the action indicated   you are writing in the present tense, then stick to it. You might want to flash back
by the verb. Present   occasionally to remind your reader of something in the past, but make sure that you
tense indicates an     come back to the present after the flashback. If you are writing in the past, then
action that is taking  stick with the past tense.
place in the present
(e.g. He eats the      9.7  Controlling and choosing language
cake); past tense
indicates an action    Your ability to control and choose how you use language is also important. You can
that has happened      demonstrate your ability by:
previously (e.g. He    »	 using a variety of sentence structures to produce different effects
ate the cake).         »	 using a variety of vocabulary which is appropriate for what you are writing.
                       Exercise 5
                       When writing English many examination students have difficulty in using the right
                       tense of a verb to convey their meaning clearly.
                       All the sentences printed below give you a choice of verb forms to use to complete
                       their meaning. Complete the following sentences using the form of the verb that is
                       consistent with the rest of the sentence.
                       1	 If you follow closely the advice of your teachers, you ………………………
                            successful in your examinations.
                       	 (a)	would be
                       	 (b)	will be
                       	 (c)	are
                       2	 The doorbell ……………………. while I was taking a shower.
                       	 (a)	rings
                       	 (b)	rang
                       	 (c)	 is ringing
                       3	 Since it was first invented in the early 1900s, the automobile
                            ………………………. in importance in our everyday lives.
                       	 (a)	grew
                       	 (b)	has grown
                       	 (c)	 will grow
                       4	 If only I had thought more carefully the problem ……………………………
                            avoided.
                       	 (a)	would be
                       	 (b)	would have been
                       	 (c)	 will have been
                       5	 Thousands of people ………………………… come to the big match on
                            Saturday.
                       	(a)	will
                       	 (b)	would
                       	 (c)	 would have
                       125
9	 Improving your writing
                     6		The Olympic champion ………………………. by her country after she decided
                         to retire from competition.
                     	 (a)	honoured
                     	 (b)	was honoured
                     	 (c)	 had been honoured
                     7		I was very pleased with my exam results because I ……………………… really
                         hard.
                     	 (a)	worked
                     	 (b)	had worked
                     	 (c)	 would work
                     8		The losing team left the arena as soon as they ………………………… the
                         final whistle blow.
                     	 (a)	heard
                     	 (b)	hear
                     	 (c)	 were hearing
                     9		All the supporters ……………………… that their team would do better next
                         season.
                     	 (a)	hopes
                     	 (b)	hoped
                     	 (c)	hoping
                     10	 The boy admitted to the teacher that he ………………………. his homework
                         from his friend’s book.
                     	 (a)	has copied
                     	 (b)	had copied
                     	 (c)	 will have copied
Key terms            When writing an essay, you should show that you can use a variety of sentence
                     types that are appropriate for your subject matter. To achieve the highest marks for
Complex sentence:    writing, however, it is important to show that you can control complex sentences
A long sentence      as well as write accurate simple sentences.
consisting of
interlinked main     Exercise 6
and subordinate
clauses and          Below are five groups of simple sentences. Re-write each group to make it into one
phrases (e.g. The    complex sentence, using any method you think suitable. (N.B. Remember to pay
teacher explained    attention to keeping your tenses consistent.)
the problem          1	 Maria was feeling bored. She had been on holiday for three days. It had been
before setting a
practice exercise       raining all week. She decided that she had to get out of the house.
for the class which  2	 Maria picked up her phone. She dialled the number of her friend, Grace. Grace
they found to be
easy as they now        answered in a sleepy and tired voice.
understood the       3	 Grace was pleased when she heard Maria’s voice. She had been depressed by the
theory.).
Simple sentence: A      bad weather. Now there might be a chance to do something interesting.
sentence consisting  4	 Maria suggested that they went to the town. Her older brother was at home. She
of one main clause
only (e.g. The          would ask him if he would drive them in his car. They would call for Grace in 30
teacher explained       minutes.
the problem.).       5	 Grace put down the telephone. She was very pleased with Maria’s suggestion.
                        She ran into her bedroom. She needed to get ready quickly. She also wanted to
                        eat some breakfast.
126
9.8  Handwriting
9.8  Handwriting
Last, but not least…
  Make sure your handwriting can be read easily. If only one word in three is
clearly legible, the reader will gain only a partial understanding of what you are
trying to say. Try to see it from the reader’s point of view – the person marking your
work can award marks only for what they can read!
 Study tip
 If you are the sort of person whose brain works faster than your pen, then it may be a good idea
 to concentrate on writing neatly. The effort involved in doing this helps to slow down your thought
 processes, giving you time to organise and express your ideas clearly.
 Unit summary
 In this unit you have reviewed the objectives:
 •	 demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
 •	 demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
 •	 analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate
    support from the text
 •	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
 •	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
 •	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
 •	 use register appropriate to context
 •	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                                                                                                                                               127
10	 Directed writing
                               In this unit you will:
                               H	 demonstrate understanding of explicit meanings
                               H	 demonstrate understanding of implicit meanings and attitudes
                               H	 analyse, evaluate and develop facts, ideas and opinions, using appropriate
                                  support from the text
                               H	 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imagined
                               H	 organise and structure ideas and opinions for deliberate effect
                               H	 use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate to context
                               H	 use register appropriate to context
                               H	 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
                               This unit will focus on the following skills:
                        Reading
                               H	 demonstrate understanding of written texts, and of the words and phrases
                                  within them
                               H	 summarise and use material for a specific context
                               H	 develop, analyse and evaluate facts, ideas and opinions
                               H	 select appropriate information for specific purposes.
                        Writing
                               H	 express what is thought, felt and imagined
                               H	 organise and convey facts, ideas and opinions effectively
                               H	 demonstrate a varied vocabulary appropriate to the context
                               H	 demonstrate an effective use of sentence structures
                               H	 demonstrate an understanding of audience, purpose and form
                               H	 demonstrate accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.
   128
Introduction
Key term              Introduction
Speech: A spoken      Some IGCSE First Language English Directed Writing tasks require a response to
address delivered to  two texts included in the question paper. In this unit we will look at ways of
an audience.          approaching these tasks.
                      10.1  Directed writing
                      As with the writing tasks for the extended response to reading question in Paper 1
                      that we looked at in Unit 7, it is likely that you will be given a context and persona
                      from which to write and a genre for your response. For instance, you might be given
                      some information to read and asked to write a letter which draws on the material
                      you have read. This could be a letter of complaint to a company or a letter to a
                      newspaper or magazine, for instance.
                        Letters are only one of a number of possible writing frameworks. We shall look at
                      all the following possibilities in the rest of this chapter:
                      »	 a speech or interview
                      »	 a report or article
                      »	 a letter or journal entry.
                      The directed writing tasks for the Cambridge IGCSE examination will require responses
                      written either as a speech, letter or article; advice on writing newspaper and magazine
                      articles is found in Unit 7.
                        (Please note: Section 10.4 contains some Extension Exercises concerned
                      with expressing ideas through dialogue which will help you to practise writing
                      conversations and using a script format. Such tasks are not directly relevant to
                      preparation for your IGCSE First Language English examination but practising
                      these skills should help improve your general ability to express yourself in written
                      English, especially if you plan to include the use of direct speech in your work for
                      Coursework Assignment 3.)
                      10.2  Writing a speech
                      When you are writing a speech, whether it is for directed writing or for coursework,
                      there are two very important things to remember:
                      »	 A speech is a means of communicating with an audience – possibly quite a large
                         audience – and you want to be sure that they all understand what you are saying.
                         To help with this, think of more than one way of making the same point and build
                         these into your speech. This is a key feature of a successful speech – listen out
                         for it next time you hear someone speaking to an audience.
                      »	 Whatever you are talking about in a speech, you want to make sure that your
                         audience is agreeing with you as you go along. Rhetorical questions – questions
                         that have an obvious, expected answer that supports the point you want to
                         make – can help to get the audience ‘on your side’. For example: ‘Do we really
                         want to see a rise in crime in our village?’ or ‘Is it right that children should have
                         to work in these conditions?’
                      In a directed writing question, the instructions for your speech will indicate who
                      your audience is. Think carefully about whom you are addressing. For example, if you
                      are asked to write a speech for a young audience, you will be free to use informal
                                                                                                                                                                     129
10	 Directed writing
               Exercise 1
                           There is a proposal to knock down a group of old buildings in your area so that
                           a new community centre can be built. The following points have been made for
                           building the community centre and for retaining the old buildings:
                           For the community centre:
                           •	 The community centre will be for the use of everyone, old and young.
                           •	There are very few community facilities in the area at the moment.
                           •	 The community centre will provide employment for many people in the area,
                              both while it is being built and after it has opened.
                           For the old buildings:
                           •	 These buildings are part of the history of the area and have been here for
                              generations.
                           •	 They provide homes for families who would be forced to move elsewhere if they
                              are knocked down.
                           •	 Their architecture is original and unique in the area.
                           The points above are presented in an objective way. Imagine that you are making a
                           speech to persuade your neighbours to support or oppose the proposal. Write one
                           or two paragraphs of your speech using the points above in favour of one of the
                           options. You should keep to the facts but use language as persuasively as you can
                           to win over your audience.
                   Example of a speech-writing question
                          Students were asked to read the text ‘School uniforms: turning our kids into soulless
                          conformists’ by Suzanne Moore (opposite) then to complete the task:
                             ‘Imagine that you are taking part in an inter-school debating competition on
                          the motion School uniform is an out-dated concept; it should be abolished. You
                          are opposing the motion and, as main speaker, are replying to a speech made by
                          Suzanne Moore. Write what you would say. Remember that your aim is to persuade
                          your audience that wearing school uniform is a good idea. You should base your
                          ideas on what you have read in the passage.’
                             This task poses several problems:
                          »	 You are being put in a specific situation and what you write should show some
                             understanding both of the situation and of the role you have to play in it.
                          »	 You are asked to write the words of a speech which is intended to persuade your
                             audience. You must, therefore, make what you write sound like a speech, while
                             ensuring that you write in acceptable Standard English (see Unit 9, page 115).
                             You must also concentrate on sounding persuasive.
                          »	 You must show that you have understood the ideas and content of the original
                             passage and reply effectively to them.
                          »	 As well as keeping the main ideas of the passage in mind, you are also expected
                             to add relevant and appropriate ideas of your own in order to present a positive
                             argument opposing the motion.
                          Careful thought and planning are necessary. You must keep the task clearly focused
                          in your mind at all times. Try to do this as you read the passage.
130
10.2  Writing a speech
                       School uniforms: turning our                                                                                                   Having set out her
                       kids into soulless conformists                                                                                                 position in a mainly
                                                                                                                                                      light-hearted way,
                       By Suzanne Moore                                                                                                               and having engaged
                                                                                                                                                      her readers in her
                       It would seem that nowadays, every educationalist is a fan of the dreaded blazer/                                              argument, the
                       tie school uniform combo. The journalist Suzanne Moore questions exactly how do                                                writer then starts
                       they really think they’re helping prepare schoolchildren for the ‘real world’?                                                 to make some
                                                                                                                                                      more serious and
In the opening         Unsurprisingly, I was never a fan of my own school              parenting. (‘Well they were always clean and in the right      developed criticisms
paragraphs, the        uniform, which was bottle-green in colour. We were              uniform.’) The signifiers of class and money are simply        of the requirement
writer refers to her   constantly lectured about the activities we were                rejigged around bags, phones and pens. It is as it ever        for children to wear
own school days.       not allowed to be seen doing in it. In a hazy way, I            was.                                                           school uniform.
This technique         remember them as basically eating chips and talking to
creates a link with    boys. ‘I’ll just take it off then, Miss,’ I used to say, for I  This nostalgia for a uniform is based on emotion not           The article is clearly
her readers and        was annoying then as I am now.                                  reason. Evidence does not come into it. Does all this          paragraphed.
then, by stating that                                                                  produce better results? Happier children? What we              Each paragraph
she was and still is   The price of the uniform itself was an issue. The wear          really have, alongside the increasing prevalence of the        presents a different
a non-conformist       and tear of it was an issue. We couldn’t afford it. Once        ghastly blazer/tie combo, is increasing social inequality.     perspective on the
in her views,          I had a Saturday job that helped, but naturally I bought        You could map it out but don’t ask me to, as I missed an       topic and moves
and providing a        myself some lime-green plastic platform shoes. Weirdly          awful lot of school on account of this kind of attitude.       us a little further
humorous example       they were not acceptable as school shoes unless my              ‘Don’t ask questions, girl, and put your tie on properly.’     forward in the
of this, she begins    mum wrote a note. What                                                                                                         argument.
to establish a         medical condition required                                                                      Don’t ask questions about
personality with       the wearing of these                                                                            the world of work that we      The final three
whom the readers       beauties I can only guess,                                                                      are preparing children for.    paragraphs return
will sympathise. The   but my mum’s notes I now                                                                        At the moment it looks as      to the writer’s own
use of a colloquial    look on with awe, the end                                                                       if some will work for free in  experiences, which
tone and rhetorical    line nearly always being:                                                                       some superstore uniform.       are those shared by
questions in the       ‘She is in a phase.’                                                                            Get them used to it early.     many of her readers.
third paragraph are                                                                                                    Compliance. Zero tolerance.    This technique gives
also techniques by     Did this uniform instil in me                                                                   The best days of your life.    the whole argument
which she gets the     a sense of oneness with                                                                                                        more weight and
readers on her side.   my school? Did it resolve                                                                       My daughter will shortly       authenticity.
                       the class issue? Er … not                                                                       start at a new school and
                       exactly. In those days we didn’t have stupid fashion                                            in the Uniform Me shop this    The final paragraph
                       words like ‘vintage’ and ‘pre-loved’, we had hand-me-           week it was hot and sweaty, as nasty polo shirts were          starts quite light-
                       downs, and really, I don’t know a modern child who              pulled on. Skirts must be knee-length with over-the-           heartedly with the
                       wants a second-hand uniform.                                    knee socks. At least the stuff I bought was cheap. Some        statement that the
                                                                                       inner-city uniforms are close to £300.                         writer’s daughter
                       The myth of uniform is that it is a social leveller, an                                                                        appears to be proud
                       equaliser. And pushes up results? Then show me how.             When I have had jobs where I had to wear a uniform – in        of her uniform (and,
                       Many European countries with good schools don’t have            restaurants and hospitals – I just got on with it. I saw the   not surprisingly, is
                       uniforms. Bill Clinton thought back in the 90s that it          need. But to learn? To learn what? Again, I ask: where is      perhaps doing this to
                       might be the answer to gang-related violence. It wasn’t.        the evidence that uniform works?                               ‘get at’ her mother).
                                                                                                                                                      However, the tone
                       No, uniform does what it says on the tin. It is about           Since I bought my daughter’s uniform she has, of               becomes more
                       conforming. It heartens many a parent to see their child        course, had it on all the time, though school doesn’t          serious at the end
                       as somehow ready for work. Politicians love a uniform.          start until next week. She is expressing herself or getting    and the writer leaves
                       Indeed the fetishisation of school uniform is education         at me. She makes me laugh. But the idea saddens me             us with a thought to
                       policy. Most schools are obsessed with it, parents like it      that when she gets to secondary school individuality           reflect upon. This is
                       and many children say it makes their lives easier.              must be knocked out of her as early as possible via the        given extra force by
                                                                                       reinforcement of petty rules about shirts. This is indeed      being expressed as
                       Teachers vary, some reporting that too much of their            preparation for the real world. Of uniform thinking.           a three-word, short
                       time is spent on policing clothing violations. If education                                                                    sentence without a
                       is to be about conforming and not drawing out talent,             Source: adapted from the Guardian, 29 August 2012            main verb.
                       I guess that’s fine, though the kind of overall worn in
                       France for science or art would surely suffice. Uniform          www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/aug/29/ 
                       covers up many social ills. Sometimes, even poor
                                                                                         school-uniform-kids-soulless-conformists  
                                                                                                                                                      131
10	 Directed writing
                      Note the use of vocabulary:
                      »	 ‘myth’ – which suggests that there is no substance to the requirement to wear a
                         uniform
                      »	 ‘fetishisation’ – a word that conveys the idea that there is something unnatural
                         and perverse about the idea of wearing a uniform.
                      Note the beginnings of sentences which engage the reader and link ideas:
                      »	 ‘Unsurprisingly, …’
                      »	 ‘No, uniform does what it says on the tin.’
                      »	 ‘Don’t ask questions about the world of work …’
                      »	 ‘When I have had jobs where I have had to wear a uniform …’
Key terms                 Writing your response
Rebut: Disprove        Now practise writing the words of your speech against the motion. In order to help you with
a point made in        this, we have provided an opening for your speech, and some ideas and advice that will
an argument by         help you to construct your argument in favour of wearing uniform.
another speaker.
                        ‘Fellow students, I would like to oppose the motion that school uniform is an out-
Structure your          dated concept and should be abolished. You have listened to the arguments of my
argument: Organise      opponent who has wittily and articulately presented her reasons for suggesting
your ideas logically    that school uniforms should be abolished. However, there is a lot more to consider
and convincingly in     in this matter than the points you have listened to, however skilfully they may
paragraphs.             have been made. For example, let us consider ...’
Oral register:
Language that has      Continue your speech from this point, focusing on the following two key aspects:
characteristics of     •	First, rebut some, or all, of the arguments made in favour of abolishing uniform; it is
spoken language.
Colloquial:               important to do this because, in a directed writing task, you must show that you have
Language more             understood the key points of the original passage.
suited to speech       •	Second, structure your argument in such a way that you present ideas of your own
than to formal            in favour of uniform. You should aim to produce a forceful and memorable concluding
situations.               statement.
                       Here are some points that you might like to include in your speech (in no particular order):
                       •	 School uniform avoids the pressure of deciding what to wear each morning and students
                          take less time to get ready.
                       •	 Overall, uniforms are a cheaper alternative to wearing your own choice of clothes.
                       •	 Uniforms help students to identify with the school that they are part of and so create a
                          better school spirit and a more studious environment.
                       •	 Wearing uniform helps to reduce bullying in schools as students are not judged by the
                          designer logos on their clothes.
                       •	 Uniforms can be reused and recycled.
                       •	 Identification of intruders is made easier in a school where students are wearing the
                          same uniform.
                                  Remember
                                  You are writing the words of a speech. It is important to try to create a convincing oral register.
                                  This does not mean writing in an excessively colloquial way (you will be assessed on your ability
                                  to use Standard English), but you can achieve the desired effect by directly addressing your
                                  audience at different points in the speech.
                                  For example, by using direct, rhetorical questions (‘How many of you save time every morning by
                                  not worrying about what to wear as you have your school uniform ready to put on?’) or simply by
                                  addressing the audience (‘This is a point to think seriously about, ladies and gentlemen ...’).
                         Exercises 2 and 3 can help you to practise writing a speech.
132
10.2  Writing a speech
Exercise 2
Complete the following task based on the passages ‘Water safety: Protect your
child from drowning’ and ‘Safe as houses?’ below. Again, the question identifies
your audience – a group of ten-year-olds. Take this into account as you plan your
talk.
There has been an increase in accidents involving young children at home.
Your teacher has given you a speaking assignment. It is to talk to a small class of
ten-year-olds on the subject of keeping younger brothers and sisters safe at home.
The talk is subtitled ‘How you can help’. She has given you the passages ‘Water
safety: Protect your child from drowning’ and ‘Safe as houses?’ to start you off.
Write what you would say.
•	 You do not have to use all the material and you must not copy sentences from
   the passages.
•	 You might wish to include questions and comments from your ten-year-old
   audience.
Water safety: Protect your child
from drowning
Water can be fun for children to play with — but it can also be deadly.                     shouldn’t be more than 10 centimetres
Consider these water safety tips for pools and household hazards.                           off the ground. Avoid fences that
                                                                                            children can easily climb. Install self-
Most children are drawn to water. It’s        noodles or inner tubes, to keep children      closing and self-latching gates that open
sparkly. Things float in it. It’s fun to      safe.                                         away from the pool area with latches
splash. But water safety is no laughing     •	 Teach children to swim. According            beyond a child’s reach.
matter. Anyone can have a water-related       to the American Academy of Pediatrics,      •	 Install alarms. Use an alarm on the
accident — even children who know how         most children age 4 and older can learn       house door that leads to the pool area,
to swim. To keep your children safe in and    to swim. Children ages 1 to 4 might be        a floating pool-alarm or a below-water
near the water, follow these guidelines.      able to learn depending on their physical     alarm. Keep in mind that an alarm isn’t
                                              and emotional development. Swimming           a substitute for appropriate fencing and
General water safety                          lessons, however, don’t necessarily           supervision.
                                              prevent drowning and aren’t a substitute    •	 Block pool and hot tub access. Use a
To reduce the risk of drowning in any         for adult supervision.                        rigid, motorized safety cover to block
swimming environment:                                                                       access to the pool when it’s not in use.
•	 Learn cardiopulmonary                    Residential swimming pools                      Secure a cover on hot tubs. Don’t allow
                                            and spas                                        water to collect on top of the pool or hot
  resuscitation (CPR). Parents and child                                                    tub cover. Remove aboveground pool
  care providers should know CPR.           To ensure water safety in a home pool or        steps or ladders or lock them behind a
•	 Supervise. Never leave children          spa:                                            fence when the pool isn’t in use. Empty
  unsupervised near a pool, hot tub         •	 Fence it in. Install a fence at least 1.2    inflatable pools after each use.
  or natural body of water. During                                                        •	 Remove toys. Don’t leave pool toys
  gatherings, adults who know how             metres tall that separates the pool area      in the water. A child might fall into the
  to swim can take turns being the            from the house and yard. The fence            water while trying to retrieve a toy.
  “designated watcher,” who isn’t             shouldn’t block the view of the pool
  distracted. Children under age 4 should     from outside the fenced area. Vertical
  be supervised at arm’s length, even if      slats on fences should have gaps no
  they can swim. Don’t rely on air-filled     wider than 10 centimetres, and the fence
  or foam toys, such as water wings,
                                                                                          133
10	 Directed writing
•	 Beware of drains. Don’t allow           Toilets, bathtubs and                         •	 Shut toilet lids. Consider installing
  children to play near or sit on pool or  buckets                                         childproof locks on lids.
  hot tub drains. Body parts and hair can
  become entrapped by the strong suction.  A baby can drown in just 1 inch (2.5          •	 Store buckets safely. Empty buckets
  Specially designed drain covers, safety  centimetres) of water. A curious toddler        and other containers immediately after
  vacuum-release systems and multiple      can fall into a toilet, bucket or fish tank.    use. Don’t leave them outside, where
  drains can prevent entrapment.           Consider these precautions:                     they might accumulate water.
                                           •	 Keep the bathroom door closed.             Source: www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-
•	 Keep emergency equipment handy.                                                       lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-
  Equipment might include a life ring        Install a safety latch or doorknob cover    depth/child-safety/art-20044744
  with rope, reaching pole or shepherd’s     on the outside of the door.
  crook. Always have a phone in the pool   •	 Supervise bath time. Never leave a
  area.                                      child alone in the bathtub or in the care
                                             of another child. Drain water from the
If you have a pool or hot tub, follow all    tub immediately after use.
local safety ordinances.
Safe as houses?
Every year many children aged five and under are killed because of accidents in the home, and large numbers need hospital
treatment. How can you make your child, grandchild or any young visitor safer in your home?
                                                                                       In the bathroom
                                                Children can be scalded by bath water which is too hot, and they can also drown
                                                in the bath – even in only a few inches of water. Some children often like to
                                                investigate toilets, which can be unhygienic or even unsafe if some cleaning
                                                products have been used.
                                                                                  Slamming doors
                                                When children are playing together it’s very easy for hands or fingers to get
                                                caught in doors. Few of these injuries are serious but they’re all very painful.
                                                Falls down stairs
                                                The under-twos are most at risk on the stairs because they try to crawl or walk
                                                up or down them before they’re really ready to. Additional risks are caused by
                                                toys or other objects left on the stairs, loose carpet or poor lighting.
                                                                                Falls from windows
                                                As soon as a child is mobile, low windows, or windows with climbable objects in
                                                front of them, become a major hazard, especially on upper floors.
               In the kitchen                                                    Fires and matches
The main types of injuries in the kitchen       Fire is the most common cause of accidental death in the home for children.
are burns and scalds, often caused by           Around half these deaths are thought to be due to children playing with matches.
children pulling kettles full of boiling water
over themselves or tipping up pans on the                                   Medicines and chemicals
cooker. Other  hazards include cups and
teapots full of hot drinks, hot oven doors,     Some houses may contain a selection of medicines and household chemicals
and hot irons. Children can also be at risk     which can be very dangerous if swallowed by small children.
from slippery kitchen floors and from
household chemicals.                                                               Near the house
                                                Children are also at risk near the house – particularly if they’re unsupervised.
                                                Keep garages and sheds containing tools locked and take the same care with
                                                chemicals as you would in the house.
134
10.3  Writing a letter
Exercise 3
Here are the notes of two speakers taking part in a class debate on the subject:
‘The car: a blessing or a curse?’
Joseph:
•	 Every home can have one.
•	 Cars are convenient and allow individual freedom to go where you like.
•	 You are not dependent on public transport.
•	 Driving is an enjoyable experience.
•	 They are extremely useful in emergencies.
Sunita:
•	 Cars emit fumes which pollute the atmosphere.
•	 There are too many cars on the road; it’s no fun sitting in traffic jams.
•	 Cars are very expensive to run.
•	 They make people lazy; no one walks anymore.
•	 They are dangerous, especially when driven irresponsibly.
Imagine you are either Joseph or Sunita and write the words of the speech you
would give. You should use some of the ideas given above, but may also add some
of your own. Remember, you might want to use some of the ideas of your opposing
speaker so that you can disagree with them!
10.3  Writing a letter
You may need to write a letter in your studies, or in real life. You may be asked to
read some information and write a letter in response. The following are just three
examples of the type of letter you might be asked to write:
»	 A letter of complaint or enquiry to a company.
»	 A letter to a magazine or newspaper, commenting on the material and giving your
   reaction.
»	 A letter explaining or apologising for a problem.
As with any piece of writing, remember to think about the audience and the
purpose.
1	 Whom are you writing to? This will help you to decide how formal your letter
   needs to be. If it is a letter to a friend, for instance, it can be in a chatty style
   and you can use some informal, colloquial language. For example, instead of ‘I
   feel I must express my views on …’ it would be more appropriate to say ‘I must
   tell you what I thought about …’.
2	 What are you writing for? Is it to complain, to make a request, to apologise,
   or to defend or attack a particular point of view? The answer to this question
   will have an effect on how you write. For example, if it is a letter to a company
   then your points must be clearly ordered and written in a systematic, logical way.
   One important point: even if your letter is making a complaint about a situation
   or attacking someone else’s opinion, it should never be abusive or rude.
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10	 Directed writing
                 How should your letter be set out?
                 Although the layout of a letter may not be as important as the content, you should
                 follow certain guidelines.
                   Study the layouts for a personal letter and a formal letter below and on the next
                 page, and use them appropriately. You must set your letter out neatly; there is never
                 any excuse for an untidy-looking letter.
                 A personal letter to a friend or relative
                                       7 Hillside Close  Put your address
                                              Anytown    at the top right-
                                                         hand corner,
                                            Blankshire   with the date
                                             AB1 2YZ     underneath it.
                                 1 September 2018
Use an informal  Dear Claire
ending.           
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                 With love from
136
Put the name and           A formal letter                                          10.3  Writing a letter
address of the
person you are      Mr Brown                                                7 Hillside Close
writing to on the   Head of Leisure Services                                       Anytown
left-hand side of   Blankshire Council
the page.           Council Offices                                              Blankshire
                    Anytown                                                       AB1 2YZ
Put the date below  Blankshire
this address.       AB4 6JQ                                                                              Put your address
                                                                                                         at the top right-
If you don’t know   2 September 2018                                                                     hand corner.
the name of the
person you are      Dear Mr Brown
writing to, start
with ‘Dear Sir/      
Madam’.              
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                    Yours sincerely
                    If you used the person’s name at the start of the
                    letter, end with ‘Yours sincerely’. If you started the
                    letter ‘Dear Sir/Madam’, end with ‘Yours faithfully’.
                    If you know the person you are writing to quite well,
                    you could end your letter more informally: ‘With best
                    wishes’, for example.
                                                                            137
10	 Directed writing
                              Examples of letters
                              Read these two letters about a mouse that got out of control.
The letter starts by getting  Dear Mrs Arensky,
straight to the point.
                              I would like to apologise for the unfortunate incident that I caused in your mini-market last
A development paragraph       Thursday. I have talked it over with my parents who have suggested that I write to you to explain
clearly explains exactly      how it happened.
what happened.
                              I admit that it was my fault in bringing my pet mouse, Minnie, into your shop in the first place.
The third paragraph           She was in a box as I was taking her to my friend’s house as she was going to look after Minnie for
neatly rounds off the         me while I was away on a school trip. Unfortunately, as I approached the meat counter, I bumped
letter with a return to the   against one of your fixtures, dropped the box and Minnie escaped. She set off with me behind her.
opening.                      As she scampered around, many of the other shoppers started to panic. One lady screamed and
                              jumped out of the way and, without looking where she was heading, fell into a pile of eggs which
The letter started with a     crashed to the floor and broke. People started to slip over, and in no time at all there was total
name, so the ending is        disorder. I eventually managed to recapture Minnie who had stopped to eat some soft fruit that
correct.                      another customer had dropped.
                              Although it was really just an accident, I realise that it is my responsibility to apologise and to
                              offer to pay for the damage. My parents have generously said they will lend me the money which I
                              can pay back over what will probably have to be a very long period of time.
                              Yours sincerely,
                              Olga Mishkin
No paragraphing and the       Dear Mrs Arensky,
content is not ordered.
                              My parents have made me write this letter though I don’t think it’s fair. You should blame the
The tone of the letter        person who left the fixture sticking out into the aisle of the shop. You can’t blame Minnie for
is all wrong – it is not      escaping when I dropped her as she doesn’t know any better and you can’t blame me for chasing
apologetic but it is          after her. And you have to admit it is a bit silly to put all those eggs there. They’re just asking to
complaining.                  be knocked over, aren’t they? You see, Minnie isn’t used to having a large space to run around in and
The content of the letter     I couldn’t stop her from running off and did my best to stop her by shouting out to her. Anyway,
is distorted as Olga tries    half the trouble was your shoppers. They didn’t look where they were going. So they bumped into
to shift the blame.           each other. I thought it was funny when my maths teacher Mr Lee got trapped against the tins of
Given that this is a          vegetables and they all collapsed on him. I mean you have to laugh, don’t you?
formal letter, the ending
is incorrect. It should be    Yours,
‘Yours sincerely’.
                              Olga Mishkin
 138
10.3  Writing a letter
Exercise 4
This exercise, and the one that follows, can help you to practise writing a letter.
Read carefully the article below and then complete the following task:
You have been a student at the ESBC since your family moved to Berlin three years
ago. Write a letter to a friend who still lives and attends school in your old home
town, telling her/him about your experiences at the ESBC and why you think your
friend would or would not benefit from its approach to education. Include:
•	 reference to facts about the school’s policies
•	 your feelings about the differences between this school and your previous school
•	 whether you would recommend the ESBC to your friend and reasons why or why not.
Write between a page and a page and a half.
No grades, no timetable: Berlin
school turns teaching upside down
Pupils choose their own subjects and motivate                 The philosophy behind these innovations is simple: as the
themselves, an approach some say should be                    requirements of the labour market are changing, and
rolled out across Germany.                                    smartphones and the internet are transforming the ways in
                                                              which young people process information, the school’s
Anton Oberländer is a persuasive speaker. Last year, when     headteacher, Margret Rasfeld, argues, the most important
he and a group of friends were short of cash for a camping    skill a school can pass down to its students is the ability to
trip to Cornwall, he managed to talk Germany’s national       motivate themselves.
rail operator into handing them some free tickets. So
impressed was the management with his chutzpah that           “Look at three or four year olds – they are all full of self-
they invited him back to give a motivational speech to        confidence,” Rasfeld says. “Often, children can’t wait to
200 of their employees.                                       start school. But frustratingly, most schools then somehow
                                                              manage to untrain that confidence.”
Anton, it should be pointed out, is 14 years old.
                                                              The Evangelical School Berlin Centre (ESBC) is trying to
The Berlin teenager’s self-confidence is largely the product  do nothing less than “reinvent what a school is”, she says.
of a unique educational institution that has turned the
conventions of traditional teaching radically upside down.
At Oberländer’s school, there are no grades until students
turn 15, no timetables and no lecture-style instructions.
The pupils decide which subjects they want to study for
each lesson and when they want to take an exam.
The school’s syllabus reads like any parent’s nightmare.
Set subjects are limited to maths, German, English and
social studies, supplemented by more abstract courses such
as “responsibility” and “challenge”. For challenge, students
aged 12 to 14 are given €150 ($118) and sent on an
adventure that they have to plan entirely by themselves.
Some go kayaking; others work on a farm. Anton went
trekking along England’s south coast.
                                                              139
10	 Directed writing
“The mission of a progressive school should be to prepare     traditionally allowed “free learning” models to flourish. Yet
young people to cope with change, or better still, to make    unlike progressive schools, Rasfeld’s institution tries to
them look forward to change. In the 21st century, schools     embed student self-determination within a relatively strict
should see it as their job to develop strong personalities.”  system of rules. Students who dawdle during lessons have
                                                              to come into school on Saturday morning to catch up, a
Making students listen to a teacher for 45 minutes and        punishment known as “silentium”. “The more freedom you
punishing them for collaborating on an exercise, Rasfeld      have, the more structure you need,” says Rasfeld.
says, was not only out of sync with the requirements of the
modern world of work, but counterproductive. “Nothing         The main reason why the ESBC is gaining a reputation as
motivates students more than when they discover the           Germany’s most exciting school is that its experimental
meaning behind a subject of their own accord.”                philosophy has managed to deliver impressive results. Year
                                                              after year, Rasfeld’s institution ends up with the best grades
Students at her school are encouraged to think up other       among Berlin’s gesamtschulen, or comprehensive schools,
ways to prove their acquired skills, such as coding a         which combine all three school forms of Germany’s
computer game instead of sitting a maths exam.                tertiary system. Last year’s school leavers achieved an
Oberländer, who had never been away from home for             average grade of 2.0, the equivalent of a straight B – even
three weeks until he embarked on his challenge in             though 40% of the year had been advised not to continue
Cornwall, said he learned more English on his trip than he    to abitur, the German equivalent of A-levels, before they
had in several years of learning the language at school.      joined the school. Having opened in 2007 with just 16
                                                              students, the school now operates at full capacity, with 500
Germany’s federalised education structure, in which each      pupils and long waiting lists for new applicants.
of the 16 states plans its own education system, has
                       Source: www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jul/01/no-grades-no-timetable-berlin-school-turns-teaching-upside-down
                           Read the news item printed below and then answer the question that follows.
Teenage boys wear skirts to school to
protest against ‘no shorts’ policy
                                                                                Dozens of pupils at a school
                                                                                in the city of Exeter stage
                                                                                uniform protest after school
                                                                                insists they wear trousers
                                                                                despite heatwave.
                                                                                                Some had borrowed from girlfriends,
                                                                                                others from sisters. A few had gone the
                                                                                                extra mile and shaved their legs. When
                                                                                                the Isca academy in Devon opened on
                                                                                                Thursday morning, an estimated 30 boys
                                                                                                arrived for lessons, heads held high, in
                                                                                                fetching tartan-patterned skirts. The
                                                                                                hottest June days since 1976 had led to a
                                                                                                bare-legged revolution at the secondary
                                                                                                school in Exeter.
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