Heart Letters to My Brothas 51 Dear Father (My Brotha), Grow up your dream for young greatness is gone, you have family who loves you and who is looking for your guidance. Why have you entered into the family realm without the experience? Be careful, my dear Brotha to remember that children are a gift not a burden. Both parents must understand this and not use the children to their benefit. Fathers, once you gift a child to this world remember that this gift comes with sacrifice. Sometime this sacrifice must mean that you forsake your own yearning for the greater good of the family. The family is suffering partly due to the lack of manly presence in a child’s life, the boy or girl you are needed. Never falsely believe that they can totally make it without you. This is a lie you tell yourself for selfish reasons. When you become a father either voluntarily or without thought, the time to become a teacher a provider a mentor a protector, an advisor, a leader, a disciplinarian, a nurse a doctor a psychologist a psychiatrist, a developer, a speaker, a writer, and a lover of children. The time for self is over, the time to pour into society is present. You, my dear Brotha, now have a responsibility that will impact the world. Do not take it lightly or leave your responsibility to someone else, you will regret either not being part of their success or not being a part of their failure. Commit to being better than those who failed! You can do it you are a Brotha you are a man. Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 53 HUSBANDS
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 55 THANK YOU MY FIRST HUSBAND To finally be my wedded to my fine young man Having visions of forever to submit to the plan My first and thought only to validate me The man that I loved who fast held the key I thank you for all in me you inspired I thank you for taking our love one step higher When young I felt I was unlovable at best My heart forgot to make a request But you came and jogged my self-worth ajar Gave confidence and love more than I had thus far Thank you my husband my love of my world You’ve made me so happy a good little girl
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 57 HUSBAND (THE HOPE) Broken I was didn’t know how to stay My childhood been stripped By perversion dismay Finding that times Of young life had gone by I rebelled and decided Again marriage to try Your brokenness matched What my brokenness showed So, we got together And went down the road The road was so rocky For both of us then So needless to say Once again was the end You still are my friend The father of Kings I now since then realized That’s what brokenness brings
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 59 HUSBAND (THE REBOUND) You don’t deserve a page! You don’t deserve a poem! You were a rebound A continued heart broken You were unfortunately And unlearned man Who set out to con the world Once again Unfortunately for a short time you conned me Bye!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 61 DEAR HUSBAND AND FRIEND You found me when I had decided against love You were kind and honest And pure like a dove We were so matched and loving New Soul mates at best We played sometimes nightclub Our minds were at rest We married and took On a new and safe life We were so very happy We were so free of strife But all at once cancer Tried to rob us of time Finding a way through this darkness Was the worst and unkind Slowly we have recovered And our love we’ve reclaimed But cancer has caused life To not be the same Whatever the future Together we’ll be Till death do us part Our love will be free
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 63 Dear Husband, When I met you and started to really know you, I knew that I had met a man that I could truly love and a man who loved me. I absolutely could not wait to get home to you on a daily basis. I wish everything had stayed that way but it did not. You changed so drastically. It seems overnight I became disposable. You began to treat me with violence and seemed to forget all that we had gone through and how hard we loved in our two years together. The incidents of abuse caused a man who had great respect for me to feel that he could be familiar because of what you exposed. I am forever embarrassed and forever hurt by your actions. Then you started to argue ruthlessly call names and lay hands on me. Then you decided that no interaction, no co-existence would be peaceful, so I had to leave my have until night. when we got together, we were partners although you made less money than me you gave your 100%. At some point that changed. During those years I thought you might really try to give me an anniversary gift any gift without me prodding you, but most times, you failed. You have neglected the manly duty of taking care of your household and taking care of your wife. Your inconsideration eventually forced me out of the bedroom and I was forced to be happy sleeping alone because of your anger. I want you to understand how blessed you are to have a woman who carries the load. I can truly say that no-one has ever carried the load for me. I feel if I do anything extra for you I must hold you responsible that’s because you have not acted as a partner. I got married to you to stay married so I hope we can repair this but the only way I see that happening is if you start taking responsibility for yourself and then include me in your life as a partner. I really do hope we find each other again; I loved being in love with you…but I want to feel that you are with me for me about me. My dear Brotha I am excited to see you man up and change this. Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 65 Dear Husband, (My Brotha), You were truly a great man…I apologize that my brokenness caused me not to be strong enough to maintain our relationship. I am hurt that you were not strong enough to contain me. My dear Brothas please look out for the young broken girls who do not understand the act of togetherness and cannot comprehend the act of forever. It is not their desire to hurt you, however they will because they have been hurt. You will make them happy for a time, they will bear your children and be great parents, however they will not have the will to keep your union together. In their heart they are good, but the act of abandonment has damaged them, leading them to flee into the wind at the first sign of trouble. Forgive them and refuse to let them go, they need you but do not know it. Unfortunately, as good as these people are they are so broken that the best course of action is to run and save yourself. Save your heart and think deeply about the person who suits you. Think about a woman who matches your family background in a positive way. My dear Brotha, it is alright to look out for your heart. If you think you have found the woman of your dreams, groom her to understand the value of the connected family. You will know whether it’s the one by the way that your path and your lead is followed. Although she is broken there is a song in her heart. Either you must learn to sing her song, or she must learn to sing your chorus. Don’t allow the song to go unfinished. Record the song together, so that the finished products will become part of the archive of your life. Ultimately the lesson must be learned for a relationship to succeed. However only you can find the lesson. One must teach the lesson, and one has to learn the lesson, that is the only way to succeed. Dear Brotha, please learn the lesson before you choose a mate, only then will your union be successful. I know you can do it because you are a Brotha, you are a man. Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 67 My Dear Brotha, You are not perfect. Follow your heart and believe that there is more than one person who can love you and satisfy your soul. Leave behind the hopes of only one in life and find another, they are there if you just look. Remember, the woman you seek may be worth something to somebody but, it is very possible that you are carrying a torch for them, may not be worth it to you. You must do this and move on for your own happiness and believe that you deserve your own happiness. Even the one who you dream of wants this for you. So go let happiness reside in your life like sunshine and let the past lift away like the rain. Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 69 Dear Brotha, Stop letting your addiction get in the way of your relationships. There is not a drink in the world, nor a high, that should get in the way of your family. Your wife has suffered, your life has suffered, and your precious children have suffered. I know that your goodness is ever present. You are not just a good man, but a great one. Fight this demon and be determined to win. We are all here waiting for you! Remember this, my dear Brotha, at some point there may be forgiveness, but there may not always be reconciliation. The tragedy of this act is the curse of the broken family. Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 71 Dear Husband (My Brotha), Think before you act. If a woman who you decide to love and marry has children, you will be placed into the role of father. How will you rise to the occasion? As a husband, you are now responsible for more than the woman, you are now responsible for the family. Don’t let the glaze of lust, and the possibility of love, make you think you are ready for the marriage that you threw yourself in. Although the person may be willing to throw one man after the other into the life of her children, do not allow yourself to be one of the passing trains that wrecks the gentle souls who are not old enough to be allowed to make a choice. When you go into the life of a woman who has children, do not take for granted that if it doesn’t work, you will just leave. Think about who you are leaving. If it’s just her, then you hurt her, but how much more egregious the situation becomes, when it is also the precious offspring who innocently allow you into their lives, just to have the life shaken by yet another absence. Be better than the last, be better than them all, either stay or never come in. You can do it because you are a Brotha, you are aman!! Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 73 Dear Husbands, You all have been instrumental in my growth except for the one who added nothing to me……you served no purpose, except to let me know how broken I was. There have been other so-called loves in my life, but none of them valued me enough to give me their last name. You have all taught me that I don’t have to have the title wife to love myself and to recognize my self-worth. You have taught me that it is ok to love unconditionally. You have taught me that love can continue past break-up, past divorce, and past co habitation. I have learned that I do not need the stamp of approval, from man, woman, or child to understand my worth. I have learned that I do not have to accept verbal, physical, or mental abuse. I have learned that the door is always open for me to move forward. I have learned also that it is not wrong to hang in there to see what the finish line looks like. I have further learned to communicate without anger, without yelling, and without judgement. I have learned that not all partners will value my worth. I have learned that they do not have to. This truth does not diminish my worth. I have learned to love me even when you don’t. Thank you, all of my husbands, except the one who taught me nothing. I love and value each and every one of you. My love transcends our marriage, and you all know what you have meant to my life. No matter where life takes you, remember whatever lessons that you have learned through your union with me, and take them forward. Never forget, that I will always love you and cherish our time. Sincerely, Your Wife who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 75 A REAL DEEP PROBLEM
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 77 Touched my soul Though many years passed You are still my goal A Real Deep problem Unrequited love Keeps me on my knees As I seek strength above A Real Deep problem Keeps me up late at night Head spinning so quickly Am I wrong or right? A real deep problem In these pages I’ve spilled Read Don’t Judge Unless my shoes you’ve filled
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 79 Dear Brotha, I did not set out to be the secret love of yours, or the secret love of anyone’s for that matter, especially since I abhor the role. It appears you care for me. I think you believe in me, sometimes I even believe you love me. However, can’t you see that I don’t love myself enough to forsake this secondary position, this fate of silently agreeing to not be fully loved. I continue and you allow me to continue to play second fiddle to your first in line. I can’t blame you for this because, I made my choice the first time I laid eyes on you. As a loyal, honest and stand-up friend, I am asking you to be stronger than me, and not allow me to continue as your other woman. I have proven that I am not strong although, I have prayed, and tried, and cried. I have rushed into marriage, thinking that if I get married I will not go back to this god forsaken role that makes me share the love of my life. Why do you want me to stay interested? Why do you need more than you have at home? I know that if it’s not me, it will be someone. So that deep love, and desire that I have for your entire being is not something that you can or will return. I want to be truthful to myself. I am not and have never been your only, and for some reason I have not broken the barrier of being the dirty little secret. I love you so what I will say next is very hard, but I must speak my truth. I am asking you to let me go. Since you are able to get any woman that you want. Leave me where I am, release me, send me away. I have maintained my love for you, it has never faltered, however my love and loyalty does not appear the way you may perceive that it should. This has caused you not to appreciate my many years of loving, wanting, and waiting. I am writing this chapter in an effort to forgive myself, for caring more about you than I have cared for me and to release myself from the spell. If you have developed an ounce of love over the past many years help me say goodbye. Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 81 Dear Brotha, I took a read down memory lane; I keep all of your messages and need a reminder of where we are certain times in each year. Sometime the messages were sexy, sometimes they seemed troubles, and sometimes the messages were extremely telling and sweet. Other times the messages held so much hope for a future where we could take off the cloak and finally be together. Whatever the content these messages delivered, I treasured and still treasure, each and every one of them. When I open my eyes in the morning and there is a message, a rose, a heart, a smile, I feel like everything in my world is right and complete. How foolish I feel sometimes to allow just words and small interactions to control my entire being. For many years, I have closed my eyes, and held my breath, hoping that the shell you have used to protect you would crack and spill forth a time of allowing me in. Lurking behind that unbreakable shell, has protected you from some harm, it has also kept you from a love that has endured many seasons, many trials, and many decades. Although time has caught us both, I realize that the thoughts I had of loving you beyond any circumstance were not faulty. It was complete, secure and true. Dear Brotha, when will you make the decision to seek happiness, are you still after all these years weighing the cost. How important it is that the truth that lies deep within spills forth to you. You see, it is not important for anyone to know, or for you to speak about your truth but it is important for you to recognize it, because once you recognize your truth, honestly to your entire being, it will not be hidden, from those that see you through the eyes of love, hear you through the ears sincerity, and feel you through the touch of transparency. As I go down memory lane, I am increasingly sad that, each time my mind wanders down this lane, I go alone, without the person most present in those memories. The real deep problem started many years ago and continues to this day. Be advised that I have tried to solve this problem, it’s a problem that you the kings and Brothas allow and ask many sistas go through. Sometimes, it happens before you know it, your dear sistas are no longer part of an individual relationship, but part of a triangle. Love us completely and fully, then you will help us make the right decision. Sincerely, Your Sista
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 83 Dear Brotha, I found myself explaining to you, that my love was genuine and did not have to include intimacy based on your situation. I was aware that for your sanity you chose roads of security, and excitement, coupled with new love. Although this decision to help you move from one day to the other was extremely hurtful. I completely understood, and to this day I completely understand. You see dear Brotha, the hurt that you experienced is beyond any other, and your temporary solution to this hurt was to experience new love. Throughout it all the pull, and the draw of our multi-faceted existence could not be replaced or denied. An invitation to meet, seemingly left you vulnerable and afraid. I want to assure you that I have and will continue to accept you in my life on your terms. It is not a secret that I long to be your person. However, my invitation to get away from the usual crowd and the usual piercing eyes of those who know, has always been given in the interest of friendship. Although at times it seems that you are a willing participant in this multi-faceted relationship, I notice the times when you pull away due to apprehension and loyalty. However, my dear Brotha if you are truly loyal, you will make a choice. You will also not go from one comfort, to the another. Do you even realize that you are looking for comfort? Your grieving heart leads you to drown your hurt by seeking romantic love to quell the pain that you feel for your loss, and your insecurities. I want you to for once think of the other women you have chosen, I want you for once to forget about yourself. Think of the love they feel, and the pain that you cause when you finally reject them by your actions. Close your eyes and feel what they feel. Then decide not to be the vehicle of their pain any longer. Find happiness in the love you have chosen, understand her loyalty and accept it as your forever. So, I follow your lead and stay discreetly away, so that you can sort out your decision to pursue, or not to pursue. I know you will do what’s right because you are a Brotha, you are a man. Sincerely, Your Sista
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 85 Dear Brotha, When you place yourself in a position to entertain the hearts of more than one love, you become responsible for each heart. Whether you have figured it out or not, both hearts that you entertain cannot be content. One heart will suffer, and one heart will break. Many times, the heart will just miss you deeply. Before you decide to entertain more than one heart make sure you understand the responsibility, and make sure you are willing to take on the hurt, the pain and the overwhelming love. Below is a poem written by one of the hearts that you are responsible for. Read between the lines she lays alone, missing what you must give to the other. Her loyalty is only matched by her love. Ponder over whether your logic and your character will allow you to continue the obvious devastation that is caused by your greed, or your inability to make a decision. I miss you and I find the fulfillment that I seek Has somehow gotten lost as if deeply in a creek I miss you and I find the state that we've endured is void and undefined left looking for a cure I miss you and I find with every passing day ....what should've been our fate Is cruelly seeming gone or at least extremely late You'll miss me when you find that conversations past Continue to return and mean something at last.... Just so you know dear Brotha in this unique situation, whether we talk or not, you are always in my heart and on my mind.....I respect that you have a heavy load on your heart and on your proverbial plate. As always. I hope you are well and I your other love remain your biggest fan.... Sincerely, Your Sista
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 87 Dear Brotha, So many times I'm in a house full of people and I, the other woman am lonely for you, and you alone. So often I have been in the company of other loves and no matter how I try, thoughts of you always creep in. Did you know that an entire generation of children, who have never met you know and respects you. The only secret love we have is for the world outside of my family. How strange it must be for them to be waiting to embrace you, love you, and include you in their lives, while you don’t even know their names. All of this because the secret must remain intact. Nevertheless, always remember my family, is your family they see you through my eyes....your presence is powerful and authentic....I respect you so much ....thank you for our tattered journey...can't wait to see you again. Trust that the feeling is mutual enjoy your night. I hope you feel the depth of the pain of missing you. How can this not affect you also dear Brotha? Let me go…. Sincerely, Your Sista
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 89 My Dear Brotha, This situation sometimes causes me to think more about what I need than what you may be going through in life. I understand more and more that I too am important. I count! This is the downfall of having more than one to cater to. No matter how good you try to be, you are only able to satisfy the needs of some in your life, especially if more than one of them require the attention of romance. I am asking you dear Brotha, to think before you act. I am asking you to think before you complicate your life and the life of another. Have the willpower to stop giving in to your sadness, your ego, your greed. Stand up and become a one-woman man. Accept your choice and be true. This would enhance the lives of all who love you, because it will help all to get over the hope of there being an us. I am giving insight into the pain that you cause. Face it, no matter how much you try to love us both or love us all it is impossible, and the selfimposed anxiety that you suffer is not worth it. Stop now! You can change! Do it! You are a Brotha, you are a man…. Sincerely, Your Sista
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 91 Dear Brotha, When you enter into a complicated affiliation with another, there is often the need for one or the other to apologize, because of you both being all consumed with self. The entangled pursuer is consumed with the need to conquer and the prey is consumed with the fairy tale idea of having someone love them correctly and completed. Never fail to acknowledge that a person who allow themselves to be in the position of other will always so happy to speak with you. So happy that sometimes the conversation will flow forth without processing your updates and your needs. Do not be alarmed and do not take offense because no matter which of your emotions are missed with the onset of initial conversation the persons who loves you will always when you are going through things have a deep desire to understand... A true love even when they are the other love will know in their hearts that whatever it is and however long it takes you to reach out they will be there and will never ever leave you hanging. That one will be present front and center when you emerge on the other side. Sometimes excitement can be taken for insensitivity to the current chaos in your life. Stay encouraged things will get better. Also don’t forget to process the fairness of having more than one person bear the weight of your needs and emotions. Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 93 Good Morning Dear Brotha, Read my message and have insight. See how vested I am in my love for you. Decide if you really have room for my love in your life I was thinking about you this morning praying for you to have strength. Do you ever pray for my strength? Do you ever pray for me? I do things for others so effortlessly that I'm sure u don’t remember the times when I have tried to be there for you. Although your struggle is much deeper on a daily basis than many even know. Remember that the other women the one that you hide the one that you have to neglect, the one who can’t shake the need for your presence is your greatest cheerleader, sometimes lover, and forever friend This person will always be here for you.......... One day you may be able to appreciate this person and one day you may celebrate her. Whenever this happens she will have deserved it a hundred times over. Reflect and think about the effort that she puts into a unstable one-sided love give her something to treasure at least once. You can do it you are a Brotha, you are a man. I love you! Sincerely, Your Sista
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 95 Dear Brotha, I miss the days when I picked up my phone and saw a rose or a sweet message from you.... I know you are occupied beyond my wildest thoughts. Just want you to know that my spirit, my mind, and my heart climbed higher each and every time you showed me that I was on your mind. I am constantly in awe of how much your presence lingers long after your exit....I can't wait until our connection organically levels up....our adventures will be endless excitement.. I’m not sure if you miss me, as much as I miss you....but I can tell you that, not a morning, night, minute, or day goes by when I don't think of you. I have decided to treat us like a long-distance love so that I don't overwhelm you with requests to be in your presence....some days I am heartsick with missing you. Remember you don't need an invite to come to me....on any given day I am willing to drop anything to be there for you! My dear Brothas; the above sentiments are the heartfelt messages of the heartsick other woman, don’t take this lightly. Respect her love for you and decide. I know you can do it You are a Brotha, you are a man! Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 97 Dear Brotha, As with many special days, I want to be one of the first to wish you well and a beautiful happy day. As this is the first of many without your loved one. Although it may be rough...I pray you take time today to remember the amazing traits that were poured into you throughout your journey. Resilient, open hearted, Brave, empathetic, remarkable, talented, dignified, artistic, realistic, noble, exciting, loyal, loving, proud, insightful, grateful, forgiving, outstanding, reasonable, devoted. I thank GOD for all that your mother gave you, However I curse her for all she did not.....through her motherly effort you became the most valuable gift of all to many and the curse instead of friend/lover/confidant to others. Today you have many reasons to smile.....I encourage you to bask in those great things that are uniquely you and allow yourself to feel as good as you make others feel... Brotha, it is important to note that the others will always see perfection in you, she will always give you your accolades. You have to decide whether or not this, transparency and this love is worth your continuation of divided attention and multi-relationship problems. Reflect and think…you are a brotha, you are a man! Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 99 Dear Brotha, Don’t forget to remember how amazing you are!!!! Also continue to remember how much you mean to my inner soul. No matter how much time passes my commitment to you remains steadfast and unmovable....don’t get me wrong, it's difficult not to see you, talk to you, love or just spend quality time with you. In fact, sometimes it’s downright heartbreaking and painful. However, after the multitude of years I ponder will you always will be worth waiting for? On the days when my tough exterior fails me and my emotions burst forth, I need you to protect me from the world and myself...loving you is my high point every day. Although I'm feeling heart heavy today the thought of your smile reminds me that this too shall pass... have an amazing wonderful rainy day thank you for being in my life. My dear Brotha, think hard before you answer. Should you continue to allow another being to place their trust and their love in you when you can’t or won’t fully commit? Before you continue down this road search your character, remember your loyalty, and your lessons. Put yourself in the place of the other. Learn empathy. I know you did not set out to cause pain, and I know you don’t want anyone to be hurt because of you, but you are guilty. However, these are things you should think of before you enter the lion’s den. Your reflection, and your goodness, or lack thereof may destroy another’s life without you even knowing it. If you are real man, a real Brotha, you will never allow this to happen again, because when you close your eyes and see the destruction it causes, you won’t anyone to experience this pain. If you are only thinking of self, decide to cease the narcissism that lies inward and emerge a thoughtful better person. I know you can do it you are a Brotha, you are a man. Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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