Heart Letters to My Brothas 141 Your Sistas are worthy They are worthy of respect They only seek to love you So what do you expect? They are worthy of your love No matter what they’ve done They only want to be with you To see the morning sun They are worthy of your last name They are worthy to be praised They are worthy to have someone To be with all their days They are worthy to be mothers They are worthy to be friends They are worthy to have someone on whom they can depend They are worthy to be heard They are worthy to be saved If given a fair chance the road of love is paved So clearly see the value that we most likely bring And open up your heart so that both true loves may sing I am your Sista!!! And.... My Brothas I am Worthy I am.... Worthy of respect Worthy of love Worthy of marriage Worthy of Commitment Worthy of motherhood Worthy to be heard Worthy of gifts Worthy of your loving leadership Worthy of partnership And... I am Worthy to be saved!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 143 My Dear Brothas, I’m not sure when you decided that women don’t deserve respect, but as a brotha as a man, you must retrain yourself to understand, that all women, no matter how they carry themselves, deserve to be respected. No matter what you see another broken man do to a woman, you must force yourself, draw on your real knowledge or some else’s, to be better, and do better. Women are the beings who will carry your children, they are the ones who you come from. Without the womb of a woman no child can be born. You came from the womb of a woman. A woman, whether your mother, or a mother figure most likely nurtured and cared for you. When did you decide that she was less than you? When did you decide that you needed to control her, instead of loving her? Who made you think it was ok to abuse a woman, physically, mentally emotionally. My dear brothas your sistas are worthy. Just because they are not your mother, your sister, your aunt, or your cousin does not make them any less of a woman. Close your eyes and imagine if the woman you think less of, was your mother. Would you still conduct yourself in the same manner? Would you hit your mother? Would you curse your mother? Would you put her down? Would your anger towards a mother cause you to leave her, and never explain or return? Although a relationship with a woman is very different from a relationship with your mother. The women you choose to have in your space are still worthy. Before you disrespect any woman, for any reason, walk away, close your mouth, your eyes, hold your own hands and your mind and just walk away. Do not be guilty of not respecting the sanctity of the womb. It is a struggle because so many women are broken, and you may feel that their approach drives you to the level of disrespect. I am telling you my brothas, do not allow this to happen, do not lower your standards. Set the example for the young brothas who really don’t know and who have not been taught. I know you can do it! You are a brotha, you are a man! Sincerely, Your Worthy Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 145 Dear Brotha, My Sistas need your love. They need to be able to depend on you. They need to be able to rely on you. They need you to love them. This is not the sexual love that I am speaking of. This is a love that transcends all faults. You will meet many women in life, if they are not the one you truly want to settle with, have the strength to leave them alone. Have the strength to leave intimacy on the table. Remember my dear brothas Men give love for sex and women give sex for love. When you are intimate with a woman you may be thinking about the next woman and the woman you bed is thinking about going down the aisle. Women and men think very differently. Take time to explore the deep thoughts and reasoning of women before you decide to quickly profess your love and then quickly leave. Learn how to watch a woman from a distance before you decide to date her. See her in other settings that you will not normally see her in, so that you are seeing the true her and not her representative. All of these steps should be done by a man who truly does not want to hurt a woman. Attraction is easy and temporary, however true connection is very hard to break, give yourself a chance to see if connection is real and solid. Remember sex complicates every relationship. Remember that every woman deserves to have someone who truly loves them. Stop flying through women like bees fly through flowers decide if you can love them before you take the sex step. A sista who may seem to go from man to man is only looking for the one who will love her unconditionally. Don’t judge her. Often the reason she has not settled is because my brothas keep leading her to believe she is the one, just to drop her by the wayside. Don’t be guilty of this hurtful act just because you believe she is an easy target. Help her respect herself by seeing how you respect her. I know you can do it because you are a brotha, you are a man! Sincerely, Your Worthy Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 147 Dear Brotha, Why have you dated so long, I have cooked your meals, I have washed your clothes, I have cleaned your house, I even taken care of your children. I have had your son and your daughter and loved the mas my own. I have forsaken my firm tight body to be a mother to our children. Why do you think I am not worthy to be your wife? What are you afraid of? If you still wanted to have other partners, why do you want me to sit home and wait until you are done? I too have goals in life and the minute I decided that you were the one for me, the one who would be father to our babies, I was faithful and have put you before myself. I am a woman who dreams and not ashamed to say that I wait for the day when you will get down on one knee and ask for my hand in marriage. As my parents get older, they even long for the time when they will attend our wedding. So why dear brotha do you not think I am worthy of your name. Do you feel that something better will come along? If that is so don’t keep me close just in case, lovingly let me go. My dear brotha, I am worthy to be your wife, I am worthy to have your last name, I am worthy to raise our children, I am worthy to be your only. You, my dear brotha, may one day look for me or someone like me and be lost in the fact that I am no longer there. Please see my worth now and don’t delay, because one day, you may look for me and I will have vanished into thin air floating along with some other who instantly saw my worth and married me. Be better my dear brotha, I know you can do it, because you are a brotha, you are a man. Sincerely, Your Future Wife and Worthy Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 149 My Dear Brotha, Why do you find it so hard to commit to one woman? What fear has been instilled in you that makes you feel that commitment takes something away from your manhood? What has clicked in your soul that causes you to believe that you must keep yourself open for alternate relationships? Why do you feel that you deserve to be intimate with more than one woman? I know that us women have created the monsters that you have become. We have allowed you to tell us that you are just our friend and then we sleep with you when you ask, hoping that this will mean that you have changed your mind about us. Behind closed doors you laugh at us. You degrade us and tell your friends the ways in which we privately please you. Does this make you feel like a king? If you commit to one woman the others should be left where they are. Then there would not be a woman to disrespect. We come around you looking for sometimes in the places that you frequent. We dress up extra special hoping you will notice us and may this time just this one time you will see our worth and give us a chance to be your one and only. Well you see us alright and you like what you see, so we meet and go back to the sexual part of the relationship and after the lust is gone you send us away empty. I’m not sure why we allow this, but I am asking you to put a stop to it. If you do not want a commitment from us then stop taking us to the bedroom for your own pleasure, because we are not there because we love what you do to us, we are there because once again we are hoping that we are chosen by you. So if you have decided that the women you casually have a fling with is not the one, leave her where she is before she pleasures you because she is looking for a commitment and you are not. Love her and respect a woman enough not to allow her to sacrifice herself for your desires send her home tell her no and then find the one who you will commit to. I know you can do it. You are a brotha you are a man. Sincerely, Your Worthy Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 151 Dear Brotha, Did you know that many times you shut me down as if my words have not worth? Do you value my ideas or are you intimidated by them. Please believe that my ideas are only meant to support and enhance your leadership. I would not have any ideas towards our existence if you were not in the picture. In this relationship, I am constantly thinking of how to better us and how to help you. It is not my intention to take away your shine of manhood. I know you will not always agree with my input, but how excited I would be if you just listen not just to comment back, not to defend, but to really understand what direction my line of thinking is coming from. To really understand the ultimate respect, I have for you for our journey, for our relationship. I may not always chime in at the right time, however, please understand my intention is to make us better. Please know my dear brotha, it is OK to hear me out. This will not take anything away from your manhood just to hear my viewpoint. I wonder what has been instilled in you dear brotha that makes you feel that my thoughts are meant to attack and degrade you. I am your rock; I only mean to assist you and to give our lives more depth and security. Knowing that you value my suggestions, and my knowledge, whatever the subject, gives me the security to know that we are in this together. It enhances the respect I have for your leadership. It is an aphrodisiac; it is a love language for most women. It is an indication that you value my entire being. So, hear me out my dear brotha. I know you can do it because you are a brotha, you are a man. Sincerely, Your Worthy Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 153 Dear Brotha, I remember every holiday, every birthday every anniversary, every milestone in our lives, and with that remembrance comes trinkets to mark the occasion. However, I am not sure why, you have not taken up the cause to make sure that you properly gift me during special days. There are so many opportunities to find gifts during the winter holidays there are sales. You don’t have to wait for the occasion to rush out and remember the day. My dear brotha, I know that you are so worthy of every gift I give you, but I want to remind you that I too am worthy of gifts from you. I am worthy for you to plan, I am worthy for you to think it through, I am worthy for you to find joy in gifting me just right, I am worthy to receive all that you have to give. Now before you think about the material part of gift giving only, I want you to know, that although I want you to be insightful about the gift you give, I also am willing to accept anything that was done in a though provoking manner. I am not sure why it is so hard to remember my special days, to plan with a sentiment that is endearing, to send a card with personal feelings of praise. Do better my brothas! So, I will give you a tip. Use the calendar in your phone add an appointment on the special days for all the special women in your life and celebrate them in some manner. You know, all we really want is something to treasure and look back on to say, this is what my love thought of me and gave me. We put so much thought into what we gift to you brothas and we just want the same in return. Dear brotha I am worth a thoughtful gift on every special day. I know you will remember because you are a brotha, you are a man. Sincerely, Your Worthy Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 155 Dear Brotha, Believe it or not I want you to lead me. I am a strong independent woman, but with a leading man in my presence I become a shrinking violet. I do not shrink to obscurity. I shrink to allow your leadership. I am worthy of having a true king lead me. I am worthy to know that I am a supporter, not the leader, I am the robin not the batman, I am the building not the foundation. I understand that is your role to steady the household and I deserve to have you lead me. I want a man who puts gas in my car, who washes my car, who takes out the trash, who mops the floors, who works to provide for the entire household, who lift the groceries, who opens my doors, who works with me to handle the bills, I need your strength. My dear brotha if you do not yet have the tools to lead, seek them in a strong honest, respectful and humble man. Seek them in research. Seek the information in a good book or a podcast or commentary. The leadership skills exist in you, and I am worthy to have you lead me. Please if you are not ready to be the leader of your woman, your household, start preparing yourself. We are ready for your leadership. My dear brotha stand up and take your throne and lead your family with love, with stability, with honesty, with commitment, with truth. I know you can do it because you are a brotha, you are a man. Sincerely, Your Worthy Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 157 Dear Brotha, Please save me, I am not the woman I sometimes project. I have made many mistakes; however this does not diminish my goodness, it does not diminish my worth. Sometimes my brotha you are so judgmental. Judgmental of how many children I have, judgmental of what my hair is like judgemental of who my parents are. Judgmental of my education, judgmental of my job, judgmental of my past loves, judgmental of where I live. Has it ever occurred to you that I may be doing the best that I can? But I am still worthy to be loved. Has it ever occurred to you that you are passing by many great loves because of your judgment? Are you too good to reach out and give a handout? Are you too good to save a soul? My dear brotha I am worthy to be saved because, at my core is pure goodness, and the things that I have done and been through or the mistakes I have made, does not define my character. I beseech you to look further, I beg you to find the real me and know that I am worthy to be saved. Stop throwing us away because of what others perceive us to be or because of what another soul says, look deeply for yourself and understand that maybe, just maybe, you are our saving grace. Do not be too good to save a good person. It is important dear brotha, that you begin to scratch deeper than the surface, your princess, and the love of your life, may be a diamond hidden in dust. She is worthy on every hour and every day to be saved. Don’t count her out! I know you won’t because you are a brotha, you are a man. Sincerely, Your Worthy Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 159 NASTY NAUGHTY NARCISSIST
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 161 NASTY NAUGHTY NARCISSIST I know you won’t admit it Or perhaps you just don’t see That you are your own story And think in terms of me You master placing blame And centering just you It’s so very very hard For you to be just true What will it take for those Who can’t overcome this fate? To finally make a change just try investigate As long as you are you And want yourself to kiss You forever will be known As a nasty narcissist
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 163 My Dear Brotha, Sometimes you must listen to the hard truth about yourself. Sometimes you are so absorbed in pleasing you, so intent on placing blame, and not taking accountability for your actions, that you fail to see the category that you naturally end up in. Are you aware of the definition of a narcissist? Do you understand the behavior that is true of narcissistic behavior? Ask yourself do you disregard others feelings? Do you have an excessive need for admiration? Do you always feel that even when you receive admiration from your significant other that this is not enough? Do you often seek more from others, and always feel that it’s just not enough? Do you take into consideration that your actions are hurtful to everybody but you? Do you think your importance supersedes everything and everyone else? Do you have a hard time, putting yourself in someone else’s place and understanding the hurt that you cause? Are you always bored and empty? Do you feel like your way is the only way? Do you only value people in your life who serve a purpose based on surface characteristics? Are you so fragile, that when your sense of being the best, or the grandest is rattled, you lose yourself? When there is requirement in your life, at work, in relationship romantic or friendly, does the ability to transition come easy or does it seem unbearable? If your personality fits any of these categories complete a real selfsearch. If you have the ability to hurt others with no shame and many excuses, you are a narcissist. If you only want a relationship because of how you think others will perceive you because of the relationship, you are a narcissist. My dear Brotha stop your narcissistic behavior get help, I know you can you are a Brotha, you are a man. Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 165 Dear Narcissistic Brotha, When you are bored because no one is putting you on a pedestal or praising you, don’t immerse yourself in mindless activities like watching television excessively or playing mindless games. You are an adult. Games are ok sometimes, however, unless you are using game-time to make money. Get out of that world and try to see the world. My Brotha whether you know it or not, staying in the house playing games is causing you to lose sight of reality. It allows you to continue down the road of isolation. It allows you to be self - absorbed in you. Have you ever thought that maybe the destruction of your family, your relationship, your marriage, might have been due to your narcissistic behavior? This does not make you a bad person, it just means you are not selfaware and you tend to blame others before you self-reflect about you. STOP NOW before it is too late. In every situation, although you think you are correct ask yourself before you ride with that theory, could it be me???? Don’t lie to yourself, there is comfort in accepting the truth about you. There is healing in accepting the truth about you. There is vindication in accepting the truth about you. Give yourself the healing, the comfort, the vindication. Admit that you must work on you, and that you have probably deeply hurt those around you...fix you, before trying to fix someone else. I know you can do it! You are a man you are a Brotha! Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 167 Dear Brotha, Be willing to see the traits of narcissism. Allow your mind to gain insight to some of the struggles associated with true narcissistic behavior for your own good......is this you is some of it you. Time to re-evaluate and find life without the pain of self-doubt and openly critical opinions that harm others. 1. You can’t take criticism 2. You are passive aggressive 3. Suffer knowingly and unknowingly with mental health issues 4. Hold grudges 5. You are very envious 6. Really you feel inadequate 7. You do not seem capable of empathy 8. Blame every-one for everything 9. think everyone is thinking about you worrying about you 10 think everyone is jealous of you and talking about you Never take responsibility for nothing bad that happens in your life Please evaluate the challenges that you bring into your life due to your narcissistic behavior. Make the change, you can do it you are a Brotha you are a man! Sincerely with love, Your Sista
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 169 My Dear Narcissistic Brotha, So many will love you in your life, but you will never find them worthy. You are so self-absorbed that you only see what your other half can do for you. They either have a prominent job, or an exotic look, so that you can show off. The minute that person is sick or gains weight or shows a sign in your eyes of being different from what you can use, you have no problem moving on to the next one. It doesn’t matter that you weigh 600 lbs. It doesn’t matter that you are broke, it doesn’t matter that your male member doesn’t work as well, because in your eyes no matter what, you will always be the only star. You only value yourself and find it hard to value your own children. Please think deeply. The ability to change is within you. The only way you will be different is to acknowledge and dig deep to admit who you have been, and who you are. Think more clearly of someone other than yourself. Seek to do something for someone other than yourself, without looking for a return of some sort. Get to know people who you would normally not see as worthy of your time. You may be surprised at who you will connect with and how deeply you will connect. Stop trying to have people in your life just because in your mind they make you seem better. Open your eyes of discernment and see everyone for who they truly are, also open your heart and allow everyone to see who you really are. Admit it narcissist, deep inside you are lonely. However, you can change it because you are a Brotha, you are a man! Sincerely, Your Sista who loves you!
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 171 YOUR SIDE WOMAN’S JOURNEY
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 173 My Dear Brotha, Read the story that follows below, although there is some good…my message to my Brothas is do not allow a woman to follow you through life waiting for you to choose them or love them completely. Unfortunately, they will for years if you are not clear about your intentions. I really thought there was a chance for this romance to manifest itself for over many years. I believed it was real and possible because I was clear about my love for him every time, I was in his presence. Then one day I woke up, and it is my truth that although he called a couple of times, I was not even missed. The poem below is a tale of woe for man and woman. My Brotha, please stop allowing us to hang on. If I’m not the one to bring home to mama or family, be clear that this will never be. Remember this my Brotha, in the majority of cases a woman is not hanging on for nothing. You must make your truth clear. Read this and weep then learn about and admit the pain your greed may cause. A Meeting By Chance On a summer out night With a mysterious man On his way from a fight A tall striking figure Dressed fine and meticulous Would label my words As rude and ridiculous Not really sure What then changed his Mind? But all of a sudden He was attentive and kind For the rest of the night He had my attention At some point in time Contact numbers were mentioned I walked away feeling That he’d never call I didn’t deserve him So I thought after all You see in my soul A hard secret existence Had stolen self-trust
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 175 Had taken my innocence In childhood A true violation occurred That would haunt me forever Keep my self-worth deferred Though happening long past Before this fateful night I didn’t love self Or believe I had rights So a man such as this How could he want me These thoughts caused me pain And thus caused I to Flee So this secret affected The men that I’d chose Could it be he who loved me? Was under my nose Never dreamed this chance meeting Was a life changing event That thirty five years later A whole lifetime had went Since he was so I honest I knew he was taken Thought our time was over But I was mistaken Excitement ensued When first contact was made The ecstasy surfaced When the first time we laid A bond was then formed That could not be denied I fought with my conscious But my love would not hide I discovered you possessed A great pitching hand It was nobody’s secret I’m your number one fan
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 177 You wielded a glove Though a teacher by day A career I would carry That I loved safe to say You probably don’t know How I was inspired Our deep conversations Ignited a fire Through games and through championships I followed your teams Through wins and through losses You followed your dreams As time passed and we grew I was hopeless in love I couldn’t break free Though I begged GOD above What kept us in touch? Is a mystery still But your powerful presence Overpowered my will I’d wait by the phone In the house for your call Since back then there weren’t any cell phones at all We looked up and soon More than one year had gone Then one more and one more And so on and on The friendship continued A love child conceived I stayed stuck on you And could not take my leave Although we remained In each other’s life I understood always I would not be your wife So off on my own road
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 179 Of marriage at best For eight years I tried Hence my life was a mess It was two children later In all totaled six broke free from the violence My life was now fixed I often had wondered Just where was my friend A chance conversation Gave clues that were sent Then one day it came A most wonderful note I raced from my work Failed to put on a coat I walked in to see A familiar bright face Immediately my feet Did quicken the pace As soon as my heart Was deep in full stride I was stopped in tracks A pretty girl at your side Now what in my mind Would I fully expect? Had been eight Last long years Since we had a connect My heart sort of dropped As there was basic conversation I was still able to drop A hint of location Once again I questioned Being worthy at last So I walked away thinking You’d remain in my past soon after low and behold There you were
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 181 Standing before me Creating a stir I was nervous ecstatic To breathe your same air Started straightening my clothes And fixing my hair We left from my job Went somewhere to catch up When speaking I found You had times that were rough Since our separation There were loses you had Seemed a short time had passed So much happened so sad My up spirit sank As I felt your great sadness I hugged you real tight And my heart filled with gladness Gladness to be With you once again To still share real moments To still be your friend On another note Your profession had turned You had become a protector I was proud to have learned I continued to see you Even presenced your games The love I had felt Was quite quickly regained I remember the first time After so many years We both called our other And dispelled any fears We also agreed finally We’d never lose touch Remained true to that promise
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 183 Cause I love you so much Through each other’s lives Great intimacy hailed Whether single or not Our love never failed I still couldn’t believe I was worth your affection So I faltered and married Not meaning rejection I saw you soon after Surprised you were curt I sent you a letter So sorry for hurt We still reconnected And true to our form We jumped back to normal New love is reborn Occasional meetings Our relationship unlabeled Just thought we’d be together Like and old storied fable You married in June And broke my poor heart I married again Tried for a new start We still kept in touch Our promise we’d heed Not happy without you But loyal indeed From that time forward I’ve tried to stay near Would call time to time In spite of all fear The fear of the love That was bound to return The fear of soon finding What I yet had to learn
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 185 came time for a meeting Of unmeasured chance My life ever changing So I did not advance For whatever reason A strong need arose For a different companion Well that’s how it goes You seemed at least happy Your choice made a statement I sadly assumed you Had found a replacement I wanted to fill Your need for emotion You’d gone through so much You needed devotion Although in my heart My love never changed A duty to Life’s situation remained I resigned myself to A life of just friends Wife clearly out My intimacy ends For a time I had turned down The love of my world Where was he now Could I still be his girl? Since my love and I Had never lost contact His messages to me Began to have impact As life would have it A sadness occurred A tragic loss gone Yet another life stir My need to be with you
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 187 Was strong like a tower We agreed we would meet On a day and a hour I must admit My heart was so torn I’d been a good girl To my marriage I’d sworn I was driven by need To be there for you So I got in my car And though late I still flew When I arrived late I saw your great smile I was happy to be there I’d stay for awhile Came time to relax My nerves got the best My grandma pajamas would Now stand the test I laid down beside you Felt so good in your arms I was back in the clouds Swept away by your charms When I left I was unsure Of what had transpired Was this just a fluke? Or had we lighted a fire At first I felt bad Cause the airway went cold But once you made contact You soothed my old soul When next time We came together again I shed some old nerves And reclaimed where we’d been I was so quite amazed you still mastered my soul
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Heart Letters to My Brothas 189 I could no longer concentrate Or dare reach my goal I want you to know Throughout all of my strife I secretly waited You were always my life I may have pretended To move far away Know that was protection For a heart not okay My hope for the future Is for finally a chance To be each other’s only And at last take that dance I want us to meet For life’s simple pleasure I want you to know You be happy beyond measure I long for a time when You’ll come home to me Excited as hell in My presence to be I dream of the moment When we’ll go on a date When finally you ask me I will dare not be late I wish for the dream When we’ll say I do I hope this will happen Before life is through This is our story Of thirty-five years I recount it with pride And sometimes with tears I would never change knowing you Not For even one time But the journey’s most difficult and also unkind
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