The words you are searching are inside this book. To get more targeted content, please make full-text search by clicking here.

A book of limericks in celebration of John

Discover the best professional documents and content resources in AnyFlip Document Base.
Search
Published by arinpf, 2022-05-19 18:07:52

The Birthday Book of Limericks

A book of limericks in celebration of John

The Birthday Book
of

Limericks

in celebration of John E. Pereira’s 60 years on earth



Contents

A fat happy infant ��������������������������������������������������������������������� 1
Did I really want a little brother? ����������������������������������������������� 2
There once was a wee one named “Teddy” ��������������������������������� 3
John had a special accessory ����������������������������������������������������� 4
Once upon a time in Arlington �������������������������������������������������� 5
I think it was matches ��������������������������������������������������������������� 6
John played third base �������������������������������������������������������������� 7
Kids outside playing ���������������������������������������������������������������� 8
There once was a lad with four sisters ���������������������������������������� 9
There once was a brother named John ��������������������������������������10
It was fun on the days you cut the grass �������������������������������������� 11
Dinner at the table was a family event ��������������������������������������� 12
We slumber partied in his room in the attic ������������������������������� 13
Even when young, John had it all ���������������������������������������������� 14
John once had Louis XIV hair ��������������������������������������������������� 15
Riding the wind ���������������������������������������������������������������������� 16
Most people don’t know that John cooks ����������������������������������� 17

One summer, John had a big truck �������������������������������������������� 18
Handsome Sir Cormac of Manor Green ������������������������������������ 19
When I had a new boyfriend ��������������������������������������������������� 20
John is clever and fun �������������������������������������������������������������� 21
You drove an orange Chevette ������������������������������������������������� 22
There once was a lad from the Square �������������������������������������� 23
The Mustang GTs ������������������������������������������������������������������ 28
As a ginger with braces and charm ������������������������������������������� 29
One day John came home ������������������������������������������������������� 30
On Valentine’s Day ���������������������������������������������������������������� 32
When we first met John ���������������������������������������������������������� 33
I met him when I was 13 ���������������������������������������������������������� 34
To the Johno I married ������������������������������������������������������������ 35
One year for Christmas ���������������������������������������������������������� 36
Red-eye to Heathrow ��������������������������������������������������������������37
There once was a fellow named John ��������������������������������������� 38
The right pup for us ��������������������������������������������������������������� 39
You cared for a special Great Dane ������������������������������������������ 40
John likes his Irish girls ������������������������������������������������������������ 41
Our brother John is so great ���������������������������������������������������� 42

He knew from a very young age ����������������������������������������������� 43
I have a first cousin named John E �������������������������������������������� 44
With all those we love ������������������������������������������������������������ 45
A grand fellow is John ������������������������������������������������������������ 46
Leaving for Luxembourg ��������������������������������������������������������� 47
Fancy coffee to start the day ��������������������������������������������������� 48
My good friend John �������������������������������������������������������������� 49
There once was a father named John ���������������������������������������� 50
Christmas with John is all glitter and glee ���������������������������������� 51
There was a great man ����������������������������������������������������������� 52
Therre once was a man from Sterling ��������������������������������������� 53
An easy and affable guy ���������������������������������������������������������� 54
Some may think it’s just a habit ������������������������������������������������55
There once was a group in Moscow ������������������������������������������ 56
There was a young spook named John �������������������������������������� 58
There once was a man named Pereira I ������������������������������������� 59
There once was a man named Pereira II ������������������������������������ 60
There once was a man named Pereira III ������������������������������������ 61
Forget the Indy and Formula One �������������������������������������������� 62
Our son and our brother turned sixty �������������������������������������� 63

A fat happy infant

A fat happy infant gone listless and pale
Hospital bound, crib looks like a jail
Surgery quick… we needed repair
Three shifts of nurses giving him care

Fixed up and home, for his shift change he wails

q1q

Did I really want a little brother?

Did I really want a little brother?
They never asked me — father or mother

But he was delivered anyway
Then stayed alive (thanks to Auntie Kay)
And now, for sure, I would have no other

q2q

There once was a wee one named “Teddy”

There once was a wee one named “Teddy”
Mischievous, fun, with a smile at the ready

Went to school, became “John”
Jokester, flirt, never pawn

Grown up, he is loving, loyal and steady

q3q

John had a special accessory

John had a special accessory to wear
And even aged 3, he wore it with flair

He sure looked a peach
In harness and leash

Which were red, to go with his hair

q4q

Once upon a time in Arlington

Once upon a time in Arlington
I knew a “Teddy” who was really John

With only three sisters to tease
He asked for another one, please
John and Abi obliged and it was done!

q5q

I think it was matches

I think it was matches that started the fire
Struck with sisters together, happy to conspire

It works like they said
When you lit up the bed
But were told it’s a poor choice for a pyre

q6q

John played third base

John played third base for Wootton High
He could hit ’em low, he could hit ’em high

He was known for his great arm
To go along with his great charm
Nothing short of cool was this guy

q7q

Kids outside playing

Kids outside playing. It’s the end of the week
I’m fixing dinner. Where is that leek?
Call from Paul Yazge
“Don’t panic Mrs. P”

To the hospital to fix up a fall at the creek

q8q

There once was a lad with four sisters

There once was a lad with four sisters
Who had limited association with “misters”

The one bathroom that they shared
Left him redolently impaired

All of those perfumes made his eyes blister

q9q

There once was a brother named John

There once was a brother named John
Whose agreement to do dishes was a con

His sister washed the dishes
His mom got her wishes

And no one minded, because John is the bomb!

q 10 q

It was fun on the days you cut the grass

It was fun on the days you cut the grass
Starting off with a tank full of gas
The paths you would mow
To play tag, friends in tow
And catch the eye of a passing lass

q 11 q

Dinner at the table was a family event

Dinner at the table was a family event
And wait for all is what mom and dad meant

So, when too long you did take
And chomped liver not steak
With protest down your throat it was sent

q 12 q

We slumber partied in his room in the attic

We slumber partied in his room in the attic
John wore a red union suit, which became emblematic

Mom and dad downstairs working
All our pets lurking

The night before Christmas! We were electrostatic

q 13 q

Even when young, John had it all

Even when young, John had it all
He could dance, shoot darts, and play ball

Much admired for his great personality
He showed he was a man of versitality
So show him the respect he deserves y’all

q 14 q

John once had Louis XIV hair

John once had Louis XIV hair
But for sports it required some care

A helmet to dry
A non-girly tie
Straight-haired sisters did not think it fair

q 15 q

Riding the wind

Riding the wind around school
A mad mopedist ignored all the rules

But he was caught by a bobby
Which ended his hobby

Before he could run out of fuel

q 16 q

Most people don’t know that John cooks

Most people don’t know that John cooks
They think he’s just smart with good looks

But give him some buckwheat
He’ll make you a sweet treat
Of pancakes that are “one for the books”

q 17 q

One summer, John had a big truck

One summer, John had a big truck
To sell ice cream and treats for a buck

In the carport at night
It got raided with delight
So for profits he was shear out of luck

q 18 q

Handsome Sir Cormac of Manor Green

Handsome Sir Cormac of Manor Green
Struck your heart in ways unforeseen

Why have just one
When four could be done?
And one forever under a sleeve can be seen

q 19 q

When I had a new boyfriend

When I had a new boyfriend John had to approve
Because when he didn’t things could get rude
There was that time with the door(!)
And certain others before…
He sure made it clear who I had to exclude

q 20 q

John is clever and fun

John is clever and fun, but not sassy
He’ll be cheeky, but always stays classy

With wisdom and wit
He will call out a twit
And make note if you’re Haile Selassie

q 21 q

You drove an orange Chevette

You drove a very cool orange Chevette
With carpet and speakers like I’d never met!

Such a fun ride
With subwoofer applied
And Zeppelin playing in the new tape deck

q 22 q

There once was a lad from the Square

There once was a lad from the Square
Who rode motorcycles beyond compare

He seemed a good chum
So I asked of his mum

He’s nice…but what’s up with that hair!

(This non-traditional mega limerick continues...)

q 23 q

I suggested a sleep-over
but failed to think over
His home was quite the distant affair!

We rode and we balled
We ran and we mauled
For hours we combed
Where only Bambi had roamed!

Our fun soon completed
and our energies depleted
To his attic lair we then duth retreated

q 24 q

In his bedroom we hung
and air guitars we did strum
‘Neath glorious posters of who?
Why the great Neil Young that’s who!

We laughed and we howled
Like dire-wolves we did growled

But something was tuggin’
At my young 10-year-old noggin’

Something was amiss
in all this childlike bliss
Exactly what was just not forthcomin’

q 25 q

Just calm down a bit
and count a few sheep
Before you know it, you’ll be fast asleep

I flipped and I flopped
but without any luck
Sleep would not come to this little duck

Fortunate for me and my best friend to be
Abi stepped in and diagnosed it for free

q 26 q

It wasn’t a cold
or the seasonal flu

It wasn’t a tick
nor that he got hit with a stick

It’s really quite simple
she smiled with a dimple

There’s no great trick
He’s just a tad… home sick!

q 27 q

The Mustang GTs

The Mustang GTs; one black, one white
They were such beauties with 5.0 might!

But hey, lower your voice...
Did you hear that strange noise?
It’s got to be something, though ever so slight!

q 28 q

As a ginger with braces and charm

As a ginger with braces and charm
Sherri chose you to stay on her arm

Three tours, four kids
Many dogs, many digs
And at 60 your gab still disarms

q 29 q

One day John came home

One day John came home with a beauty in tow
He’d gotten engaged without letting us know

This is how we met Sherri
And she must have been wary
Of meeting four sisters and mom, in one go

She bravely sat down on the sofa for three
Which then served for six, as we sat knee to knee

We knew right away
She was here to stay
And we can’t thank John enough, for Sherri

q 30 q

(Gratuitous page: just thought you’d like to see this photo clearly...)

(gratuitous page: just figured
you’d want to see this one clearly)

q 31 q

On Valentine’s Day

On Valentine’s day years ago
John let his sweet fiancé know

That their life together
Whatever the weather
Would turn out to be quite a show

q 32 q

When we first met John

When we first met John oh so many years ago, he was thin.
Unlike most Americans, he is still thin instead of fat.

He should be very proud of his success in his work place,
but we are prouder of his success of being such a good father.

His family all enjoy each other’s company.
Each thrives on all the energy and positive feedback

they receive from one another.
As we celebrate John’s 60th, we wish him continued

good tidings and best wishes.
May it continue forever.

q 33 q

I met him when I was 13

I met him when I was 13
He used to be really quite lean

He’s known to be witty 
And as he turns 60

His youth won’t again be seen
(Good thing he’s young at heart)

q 34 q

To the Johno I married

To the Johno I married back then
Who is now a role-model husband, father and friend

It’s exciting to think 
That we’re always in sync  
Since you’re stuck with me ’til the bitter end!

q 35 q

One year for Christmas

One year for Christmas, John couldn’t come
He was in Guatemala, not having fun
Or so we all thought
Though in fact he was not
He’d flown home with a mission to run

Having planted a treasure under the tree
He moved out of sight as mom made her entry

She saw something wiggle
Which caused her to giggle
Surprise! It was new-baby John B

q 36 q

Red-eye to Heathrow

Red-eye to Heathrow then the tube to the station
Our secret plan unfolding as I stroll to destination

RING—sharp in the misty dawn silence
Door opens with great annoyance

“Happy 40th John!” as smile changes his expression

q 37 q

There once was a fellow named John

There once was a fellow named John
Who lived for a time in London
He coached kids at the Scrubs
And liked going to pubs
With Sherri and pals Joyce & Ron

q 38 q

The right pup for us

Aunt Barbie found the “right pup for us”
But meeting Spirit didn’t inspire trust
Then Roscoe came in
And you knew with a grin
That he would be ours by Christmas! 

q 39 q

You cared for a special Great Dane

You cared for a special Great Dane
A task that at times seemed insane

For when missing his mummy
It was hard on his tummy

Yet never once did you complain

q 40q

John likes his Irish girls

John likes his Irish girls hairy and tall
They hike and go swimming, and do not fetch ball

On couches they settle
And sometimes eat metal
But they’ve totally got him enthralled

q 41 q

Our brother John is so great

Our brother John is so great
He is funny and kind, and never late

With a twinkle in his eye
And a wolfhound by his side
He drinks coffee and wine by the crate

q 42 q

He knew from a very young age

He knew from a very young age
That the world was a dangerous stage

So he worked with the best
To take care of the rest

And helped our worse fears to assuage

q 43 q

I have a first cousin named John E

I have first cousin named John E
Who in VA for coffee would meet me

To explicate the government 
Which never said what was really meant

So I could look and feel like a Govie

q 44q

With all those we love

With all those we love under the sun
Together to celebrate and have fun

’Til death do us part
Now the party can start
Cheers to John who turned two families to one

q 45 q


Click to View FlipBook Version