There's No Rule

Deb Wahlstrom

Copyright 2018 by Successline Inc.

Deborah Wahlstrom, author
Tonya Rodriguez, editor

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, scanned, distributed, or
transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other
electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher,
except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews and certain other non-
commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Created, developed, and made in the U.S.A.

ISBN 978-0-9991832-2-9

Successline Inc.
137 Pitchkettle Point Circle
Suffolk, VA 23434
757-539-6513
[email protected]

Dedication

To leaders – of any age – making decisions that
bring positive energy, sharing values that support
the goodness of mankind, and bravely setting
examples for others to follow.

Contents

Table of Contents
Cover
Copyright
Dedication
Why This Book?
Part One: The NO RULES
Part Two: Leadership Skill Builders
NO RULE Training

Why This Book?

Have you ever watched a leader in action and scratched your head
wondering which rule he or she was following when making some outlandish
decision or doing something bizarre? It happens all the time. It’s as though
there’s a little set of rules somewhere that directs people in leadership to do
stupid things. But guess what? There’s NO RULE that says you have to do
foolish things as a leader – and that is what this book is about.

Scattered throughout the book you’ll find wisdom from an experienced
leader who knows a thing or twelve about following NO RULES. The practical
advice in this book can serve as a basis for personal and professional growth
for leaders of all levels.

Toward the end of the book are eighteen exercises you can use with a class
(if you teach a leadership course) or a group (if you want to build leadership
capacity within your own team).

As you grow your own leadership, my hope for you is that you live, learn and
love and that through your leadership, you leave a legacy for others to follow.

deb

Part One

The NO RULES

NO RULE 1

that says you can’t
develop into a
terrific leader.

Leadership skills are not a
gene thing that you either
have or you don’t. They can
be studied and learned. By
watching others, reading,
attending workshops, and
using goal-setting, you can
become the leader you want
to be. Develop yourself into
a terrific leader.

NO RULE 2

that says you can’t
lead by example.

In fact, your example speaks
louder than your words.
People remember what you
do longer than they
remember what you say.

Be the example and lead by
example.

NO RULE 3

that says you need
to make bad
decisions.

Everyone’s made bad
decisions. If you’re making
them now, you likely know
it (and so do others). If you
know you’re making bad
decisions, stop!...and start
making good ones.

NO RULE 4

that says you can’t
make decisions
quickly.

Don’t sit around twiddling
your thumbs. Use the data
and information you have
on hand. Most important,
don’t ignore your gut
instinct. Trust your
expertise, and make a
decision already.

NO RULE 5

that says you have
to be in the top
spot to be a leader.

A leader might be in the top
spot of your organization,
but there are also leaders
throughout the ranks. Don’t
let your position prevent you
from letting your traits shine.

Oh, and sometimes the
person in the top spot isn’t a
leader at all.

NO RULE 6

that says you have
to micromanage
every little thing.

Those you work with
already manage their own
lives; they don’t need you
to micromanage them at
work. Rather, empower
others – let them know you
trust their ability to do their
jobs.

NO RULE 7

that says everyone
has to think like
you.

In fact, in order to solve
many of today’s leadership
problems, we actually need
people who can see things
from different angles.
Encourage those who think
differently to keep
contributing their ideas.

NO RULE 8

that says you can't
have traditions in
your organization.

Traditions help build a
strong foundation that can
stand for years. Make and
keep traditions that help
define your organization or
entity from within. Make
the traditions memorable.

NO RULE 9

that everyone has

to like you.

And some people won’t.

Don’t spend your energy
trying to make someone
like you. Rather, commit to
just being professional with
that person. Be the adult.

NO RULE 10

There's no rule that

says you can't go

slow to go fast.

As leaders, we often need
to spend time in the
background doing what is
needed to make progress.
Like a Chinese bamboo
plant that might need care
for a year or more before
major growth occurs, laying
the groundwork for big
things can take time.

11

NO RULE

that says you have
to do the same
thing over and over
and over -
especially when it
isn’t working.

When you do the same thing
over and over and get the
same bad results, who is really
to blame? When things aren’t
working, do something
different!

NO RULE 12

that says you must
speak loudly in
order to be heard.

Raising your voice, shouting,
or screaming usually means
you are out of control.

A leader without control is
not a leader at all.

Be in control. Use your
leader voice.

NO RULE 13

that says rank
should determine
treatment.

Good leaders see people as
human beings and not as
positions. Good manners
should be shared with
everyone, no matter their
position, whether they are
young or old, weak or
strong. Use good manners
with everyone, regardless of
rank.

NO RULE 14

that says you have
to think small.
Think big!

Think big. You can’t achieve a
big dream if you don’t have
one! It’s really common
sense, isn’t it?

Think and dream big.

NO RULE 15

that says you
shouldn’t admit to
mistakes.

You’re human, and you’re
going to make mistakes.
When you do, admit it. Own
it. Don’t even think about
blaming someone else.

Oh, and remember to view
every mistake as an
opportunity for learning.

NO RULE 16

that says you don’t
have to earn
respect from
others.

You do.
And the first step to earning
respect is being respectful.

Earn the respect you want.

NO RULE 17

that says you can’t

set the tone for

your organization.

No matter your position, be
the tone-setter. Simply the
way you walk into the
building each day or greet
others as you enter a room
can immediately set the tone
for everyone around you.

NO RULE 18

that says you can’t

let everyone’s

voices be heard.

Listening is an important
quality. Let everyone’s voices
be heard. Ask for input from
staff members and from
those you serve. When you
ask for input, use the
information to take action.

NO RULE 19

that says you don’t

have to do the right

thing.

Do the right thing. Don’t act
like you don’t know right
from wrong. You do. So do
the right thing. The first
time. Every time. Make it a
habit.

NO RULE 20

that says you
shouldn’t touch
people’s hearts
with your passion.

What are you passionate
about? As long as it’s legal,
moral, and ethical, share it
with your team members!

Be passionate.

NO RULE 21

that says you don’t
need to focus.

Focus is important, and
strong leaders are good at
focusing on the right things.
Learn to sift out the noise
from around you and focus
on what matters. This helps
your team focus on what
matters!

NO RULE 22

that says you have
to take credit for
everything that
gets done.

Don’t be a credit hound.
Give credit to others – and
do so publicly.

NO RULE 23

that says you can’t

ask for advice.

We benefit when we think
through ideas with others.
Don’t be shy about asking
for counsel and advice.

Two heads are often better
than one. It’s okay to check
your thinking with a trusted
or admired colleague.

NO RULE 24

that says you have
to keep the
organization’s
vision a secret.

You are the keeper of the
vision, but you’ve got to
share it in order for others to
know what that vision is.

Share the vision!

NO RULE 25

that says you have
to leave your
character at home.

Be authentic. Be the same
person at work as you are at
home. Life is much easier
when you just be yourself.

NO RULE 26

that says it’s all
about you.

It’s about others. Even if
you’re at the top, it’s still
about others. That’s because
it takes more than one
person to make things
happen. Never for a minute
– or even a second – trick
yourself into thinking it all
depends on you.

NO RULE 27

that says you

should ever stop

learning.

Be a learning leader. The
more you learn and know,
the more you’ll grow. As Ray
Kroc said, “When you’re
green you grow, when you’re
ripe, you rot.” Stay green.
Keep learning and never
stop. Good leaders are life-
long learners.

NO RULE 28

that says

communication

doesn’t matter.

Communication matters. In
fact, one of the most
important skill-sets you can
have is that of good
communication. So hone
these skills. Learn to listen,
research, speak, and write.
Communicate effectively in a
variety of ways; it matters.

NO RULE 29

that says you can
break the law.

Follow the law. You’ll sleep
easier at night.

NO RULE 30

that says you
shouldn’t follow the
Golden Rule.

Follow the Golden Rule.

Treat others the way you
wish to be treated.

NO RULE 31

that says results
aren’t important.

Results matter. Effort is
good, too. But results
matter, so pay attention to
them. Plan for results.
Expect results.

NO RULE 32

that says there is

only one type of

leader.

There are different types and
styles of leadership. The key
is to figure out what works
best for you. Don’t be a copy
of someone else; rather, be
your own authentic self.

Be your own type of leader.

NO RULE 33

that says “once a

leader, always a

leader.”

You might be a very good
Cub Scout leader but
horrible at managing a store.
Don’t assume that just
because you’re good at
leading in one area, you’re a
natural in all other
leadership roles. In each new
area you work, be prepared
to build new leadership
skills.

NO RULE 34

that says what you
do doesn’t matter.

When in a leadership
position, everyone watches
what you do. Everything.
How you speak. What you
wear. How you treat people.
How you write. What you
eat. What you say.

Pay attention to those
details. Everything matters.

They’re watching!

NO RULE 35

that says you never

have to give up

something to get

something.

Sometimes this happens in a
negotiation setting.
Sometimes this happens
because you just can’t pile
on more work. Everything’s a
balance. Give some. Get
some. Keep things balanced.

NO RULE 36

that says you
shouldn’t ask
quality questions.

Be a quality asker. This is a
skill that will serve you well
in other areas of leadership.
It takes practice to learn to
ask good questions, but this
skill will help you think
deeply about issues – both
in the short-term and the
long-term.

NO RULE 37

that says you don’t

need to expect the

best from others.

You may have heard the
saying that people will rise to
high expectations. The
leader is the one who sets
those high expectations

Expect the best from others.

NO RULE 38

that says you don’t
have time to worry
about relationships.

It’s all about relationships.
Take time to build them.

NO RULE 39

that says you can’t
show respect for

everyone at work.

Get out there and be
respectful of everyone—even
people you don’t like, even
people you don’t know, even
people you don’t particularly
want to know. Be respectful.

NO RULE 40

that says

monitoring doesn’t

matter.

If you want to get huge
results in your organization,
monitor what you’re trying
to improve. Set measureable
milestones and ensure
they’re being met. Monitor
what is important.

NO RULE 41

that says you have
to do everything
alone.

It doesn’t have to be lonely
at the top, so don’t let it be
that way.

Have a friend and be a
friend.

NO RULE 42

that says you can
lead others without
believing in
yourself.

Good leaders are confident
in themselves and in their
vision for the organization.

Believe in yourself.

NO RULE 43

that says people
will follow you if
you are not
credible.

You must be credible. Know
your craft. Do what you say
you’re going to do.

NO RULE 44

that says to leave

your values at the

door.

Bring your core values to
work every day. Let’s hope
those are values like honesty,
kindness, and treating others
in a respectful manner.

Oh, and it’s okay to talk about
and share your values in the
workplace, too!