Yalla Magazine Issue 8

ISSUE NO.8

BEIT ISSIE AFRIKA TIKKUN
SHAPIRO
START SMALL
PIONEERING A WAY FORWARD THINK BIG
FOR SPECIAL NEEDS
RECIPES
GESHER FROM AROUND

A SCHOOL FOR EVERYONE THE GLOBE

TIKVA BREAKING UP
WITH DIETS
FIXING THE WORLD
ONE CHILD AT A TIME THE CYCLE
OF MY LIFE
THE SELFIE GENERATION

THE RELATIONSHIP
ACCOUNT

TikkunOlam

HEAL THE WORLD

2 YALLA MAGAZINE

EDITORIAL

LETTER
FROM THE
EDITOR

Welcome back Yalla readers and I so hope you enjoy our Tikkun Olam is the theme of our newest magazine, which,
Tikkun Olam themed edition! loosely translated, means our humanitarian duty to make
It is hard to believe that the year 2020 is upon us! Hooray, G-d’s world a better place and to fix the broken parts that
spring is on the horizon and it is the start of a new decade we find in our path. It is extraordinary to page through this
in history, a new era – Boris has given us his word that he edition and to read about the varied and outstanding projects
is actually going to deliver on BREXIT; the monarchy is a being run all over the world to enrich the lives of others; what
changing with H&M and baby Archie spreading their wings; a Kiddush Hashem – a sanctification of G-d’s name, to live our
and miraculously, Trump has not yet been impeached and lives as the nation whose ultimate goal is to maximise our time
has successfully eliminated Soleimani. Quite some knock-out in this world, as it says in our daily Aleinu prayer, “to perfect
moves to set the trend for a new decade! the world through the Almighty’s sovereignty”. Our duty is
I have always loved perfect numbers, and what could be not simply to perfect the world, but to do it the way G-d wants
more perfect than the year of perfect vision, 2020, which us to do it, to make it better, happier and a more G-dly place
comes so timeously as the world becomes more aligned with to live, as it says in the book of Job, chapter 7, verse 5: “Adam
amplified vision and is beginning to wake up to the things that le’amal yulad” – “a man was born to toil”. There’s no escaping
really matter: experiences over acquisitions, shared resources it, and there are no two ways about it. The Torah makes it
in place of unquenchable greed and, of course, authentic clear that we each have our job to do, and knowing that we
living in place of the painted face. It is inspiring to witness have come here to invest of ourselves for the greater good
this historic change in our trajectory and to bear witness to makes it all worthwhile.
the deep desire among millennials and Generation Z, (all I was recently blessed to spend a few weeks in South Africa
of whom constitute our future) to live life according to a set to recover from a treacherous Achilles tendon rupture. One
of values where preference is given to the things that really afternoon, my 86-year-old grandmother came to visit. She is
matter and people are striving to live honestly, unabashedly an exceptionally wise woman who has spent the better part of
and with a unique confidence that is markedly new in our day the last five decades giving of herself in various capacities: this
and age. includes running feeding projects, facilitating the building of a
maternity clinic in a township, visiting the sick and elderly as
well as many other noble endeavours.

YALLA MAGAZINE 3

EDITORIAL

South Africa is a place that presents those living there with The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel
the daily opportunity to enrich the lives of those around Schneerson, used to say: “If you see what needs to be
them. Poverty is rife and infrastructure is substantially below repaired and how to repair it, then you have found a piece
standard, so citizens and residents are faced with the daily of the world that G-d has left for you to complete. But if you
decision of whether to contribute to the lives of others or to only see what is wrong and what is ugly in the world, then it is
turn a blind eye to the suffering of those in need, and close you yourself that needs repair.”
themselves off behind high walls and electric fences.

I was already brewing ideas for my editorial for this edition, I believe that in order to do tikkun olam effectively, we need
so I turned to my gran and asked her why she had devoted to start with fixing ourselves – tikkun hamiddot – the refining
herself to helping others all these years and what had been process of our character, so we can endeavour to become
her constant motivation. Her answer made such an indelible more than we are. When we begin to change the nexus of our
imprint on me, engraving a message that will stay with me beings, that process filters through to the rest of our lives and
always. helps us to become the kind of people who are able to change
With absolute conviction, which has been the obvious drive the world around us, little by little, day by day, as the mist
behind her decades of good deeds, she said: “Well, when you slowly starts to evaporate and our vision moves towards 2020
come to this world, you have a choice to make. You can either clarity.
become a parasite or make a contribution; you get to choose.” Unfortunately, after returning to England almost recovered,
This may sound like a simple notion, but the challenge comes I ruptured my tendon again. Hard to believe! Yes, indeed –
in when putting this into practice. The truth is that to wake two ruptures in three months – not simple to contend with.
up and decide to make a contribution requires effort and It has been serendipitous to work on this edition about tikkun
sacrifice, it compels us to take responsibility for our unique olam while simultaneously trying to heal my Achilles tendon.
role in fixing G-d’s world. It is far easier to fulfil our own It is an apt metaphor for tikkun olam: when you understand
numerous needs and desires than to give of our time, energy brokenness, you understand just how much effort is required
and resources for the benefit of the other. Tikkun olam is really to restore things to a state of wholeness.
about this. It is about doing what is good for the world, as An insight that came to me while pondering the many
opposed to doing what is good for ourselves. What lesson things that fill one’s mind while recovering from a significant
could be more important to learn and to teach on our journey injury… an Achilles rupture takes enormous commitment
in this life? to heal before you start to see the light of day. And it struck
Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler, Talmudic scholar and Jewish me that when we want to fix something that is broken, full
philosopher, best known as spiritual counsellor of the famous commitment, absolute intention and undying passion is
Ponevezh Yeshiva, teaches that the world is divided into two required. If we dip in and out half-heartedly before reaching
categories of people: the givers and the takers. It is with these our goal, our injuries – physical, emotional and spiritual – will
spiritual lenses that we need to enter 2020, with the vision never really repair properly. However, if we focus ourselves
that will allow us not only to notice the brokenness around and push on day by day, eventually things begin to stitch
us, but with the insight to understand how we can fix the together again.
shattered vessels we find in our path. These vessels come in
many shapes and forms, from helping people to mend their
broken parts, to building their relationships with one another
and with G-d. To live with this level of awareness allows us
to tap into our individual destinies and, most importantly, to
partner with G-d to create a better and brighter world.

4 YALLA MAGAZINE

EDITORIAL

G-d placed us gently in this world with its many fragmented parts; our Jewish soul’s duty is to
return to the world of truth with those parts mended to the best of our ability. While we work
at fixing ourselves, let us do so with eyes that are sensitive and in tune with that which is need
of repair, and with a desire to be on the givers’ side of the fence. When we strive to do this, we
emulate the ways of G-d – the ultimate healer – and in doing so, we become the G-dly beings
we were destined to become.
Imagine if we could elevate ourselves and begin to operate from a spiritual plain where we make
choices from a place of wanting to give instead of to take. If we can achieve this, we can assume
our place as the holy nation on whom G-d chose to bestow the Torah – the guide to lofty living.
May we be blessed to beautify G-d’s world in good health and with 2020 vision!

ShiraLove&light

EDITOR’S FIVE FAVOURITES
FOR SPRING

1 / FAVOURITE QUOTE: “Spring is the time of plans and 4/ FAVOURITE TORAH LEARNING: I am often tasked with a
projects.” Leo Tolstoy multitude of things to do, so being able to listen to Rabbi Shlomo
Farhi’s daily Torah class on WhatsApp allows me to get my Torah
2 / FAVOURITE TONIC: Raw honey and cinnamon both learning fix at any time of the day or night that suits me. I gain so
have many healing properties, with the potential to improve much from his piercing insights and balanced views and understanding
your health. Cinnamon is an antioxidant and it may help of how to live a Torah life in the 21st century. It is now available on
balance blood sugar, while honey fights bacteria. The vibrant Spotify. Check it out.
spice contributes fibre, honey supplies sugar for energy
and their combined flavours make the perfect spread for 5 / FAVOU R I TE HA I R SA LON: Issy’s in
toast or muffins. Belgravia is the trendiest and friendliest new
boutique hair salon on the uber cool Elizabeth
3 / FAVOURITE BOOK: Becoming by Michelle Obama. Street. The fabulous customer service provided
In a world that demands high standards for women, this comes from real experts in the industry. The Davines products they use
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Now to find the time among the many other commitments Their containers are always reusable plastic and are helping to create
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ISSUE NO.8

CONTRIBUTORS

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Shira Druion

COPY EDITOR
Heidi Hurwitz

GRAPHIC DESIGNER
Andrea Neeleman

Tracey Bennett Gareth Kobrin Danielle Renov
Rabbi Eli Birnbaum Kim Kushner Rabbi Jonny Roodyn
Karen Bodenstein Paula Levin Susan Rosenthal
Eliana Cline Rabbi Moshe Levy Hilli Ross
Rivka M Conway Chanti Martin Naomi Stuchiner
Chana Deutsch Nicci Menashe Sarah Sultman
Rabbi Pini Dunner Susan Menashe Omer Tulchinsky
Ilana Epstein Leanne Mendelow Rachel Vecht
Avigayil Gilbert Maisie J Meyer Yaron Waksman
Heidi Hurwitz Rabbi Sandor Milun Laura Weller
Rabbi Natan Kahlani Michelle Morris
Aimee Kobrin Inbar Paz

0 0 8 LETTERS

FEATURES
TIKKUN OLAM
0 1 1 TIKVA – FIXING THE WORLD,

ONE CHILD AT A TIME

0 1 5 COUNTING STARS

0 1 8 BEIT ISSIE SHAPIRO MAKES ITS MARK

0 2 6 GESHER – A PLACE FOR EVERYONE

0 3 2 UN LOC KI N G TH E KEY TO EV ERY

RELATIONSHIP

0 3 4 THE CYCLE OF MY LIFE

0 3 8 START SMALL, THINK BIG – AFRIKA TIKKUN

0 4 6 DISASTER RELIEF – HAND-DELIVERED

0 5 0 CATCHING THE WAVE TO A BETTER FUTURE 0 7 2 A PAREN T’ S G UI D E TO EATING
0 5 4 HEALING TO HELP DISORDERS
0 7 0 LIFE 4 A LIFE 0 9 2 WHAT’S IN A NAME?
1 0 8 LOOKING TO GIVE

1 2 0 CHAI CANCER CARE – TOGETHER WE NEWSREEL
CAN COPE 0 8 6 GOODNIGHT, SWEET PRINCE
1 5 2 COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS 0 9 0 COINING A PHRASE

IN-DEPTH 1 0 2 CURRENT READS
0 6 2 SHANGHAI’S BAGHDADI JEWS THE MOMENT OF LIFT
0 9 8 SHABBAT – PURPOSEFUL LIVING TALKING TO STRANGERS

WELLNESS & SPIRITUALITY #FORTHECOOLKIDS(&TEENS)
0 7 7 BREAKING UP WITH DIETS 1 1 0 DEAR RACHEL
0 8 2 LIFE IS IN THE DETAILS 1 1 4 LOOKING BACK TO MOVE FORWARD
0 9 6 WHAT MY BRAIN TUMOUR TAUGHT ME 1 1 6 THE POWER OF CHESED
1 2 2 YALLADIM
PARENTING 101 1 2 6 WISE WORDS FROM YOUNG MINDS
0 4 2 WHEN SHOULD KIDS GET PHONES?
0 5 8 RAISING KIDS TO BE GIVERS IN THE FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD
SELFIE GENERATION 1 2 8 THE DRIVE FOR SPICE
0 6 6 THE LOVING CLASSROOM 1 3 8 SOUL FOOD

LETTERS

Dear Shira

Write to us at [email protected] and add
yo u r v o i c e t o t h e Ya l l a d i a l o g u e.

Congratulations. Your groundbreaking glossy quarterly spotlights the Sephardi
heritage with panache. It is eclectic. Its wide-ranging topics enhanced by
superb graphics appeal to varying age groups of men and women. After
reading them, I find it difficult to discard them.
May you be blessed to go from strength to strength in this valuable venture.
With all good wishes

Maisie Meyer

Thanks to you all for Yalla… a very welcome magazine incorporating
an incredibly varied, interesting and beautifully designed publication.
Always a pleasure to read and a delicious recipe to make! Chazak
u’baruch.

Giselle

LETTERS

I l o v e Ya l l a . I t ’s s u c h a d i f f e r e n t r e a d . I a l w a y s k n o w t h e r e
are going to be articles in there that will open my eyes.
I love that it covers so many aspects of life and so many
varied writers. On a completely superficial level, I love the
glossy pages and the layout. There is just something about
a Ya l l a m a g a z i n e t h a t m a k e s y o u n o t w a n t t o t h r o w i t a w a y ! !
Thank you to all involved. Loving your mag.

Claire Freeman

One of the things I most enjoy when visiting my sister
S u s a n M e n a s h e i n L o n d o n i s t h e Ya l l a m a g a z i n e t h a t s h e
saves for me. They are beautifully presented and always
cover relevant and meaningful topics. My favourite articles
are the ones submitted by other parents or parenting
e x p e r t s a s t h e y o f f e r t a n g i b l e a d v i c e m i xe d i n w i t h To r a h
values. This magazine is a gift to the community!

Belinda Fishman
SAN DIEGO

Tikva

FIXING THE WORLD ONE
CHILD AT A TIME

A home in which hope overrides despair
and faith fuels optimism.

KAREN BODENSTEIN

TIKKUN OLAM

Tikkun olam translates literally as ‘world This is so often the most essential raise responsible adults who seek to
repair’. Tikva’s core mission is to rescue foundation for a new beginning for give back to the world around them,
abused, abandoned and orphaned vulnerable children – building the it will also raise contributing members
Jewish children of Ukraine by providing confidence to believe that their lives are of society who take comfort in the sense
a loving home, quality education, Jewish full of promise, that they are entitled to of belonging.
values and the emotional and communal their ambitions and are worthy of their From Tikva’s infants’ homes to their
support needed to prepare them for dreams. Driven by compassion, Tikva university dormitories, they raise,
self-sufficient, productive lives. Tikkun strives to create a healthy environment protect, love and nurture newborns
olam is a value of utmost importance to in which the children are able to through to young adults, helping them to
Tikva, and this is demonstrated through flourish and assemble the tools needed transition from a life of hardship to one
so much of the organisation’s work – to become productive, independent filled with happiness and hope. Under
charitable giving and acts of kindness. adults. Tikva believes that, regardless of Tikva’s care, the children grow from
We believe it is our responsibility to fix the standards by which their children’s
that which is wrong in the world. future accomplishments are judged, their scared, detached kids into
In 1993, Rabbi Shlomo most remarkable achievement and their lively, inquisitive, self-sufficient
Baksht arrived in Odessa, young adults, ready and able
Ukraine, to revive Jewish life greatest contribution to society will be not just to care for themselves,
in this former communist through their ability to overcome the but also willing to reach out to
region. In the course of odds and break the cycle of dysfunction vulnerable members of their
his efforts, he discovered that has, in many cases, been the community. Thanks to them,
the plight of local Jewish blueprint of their family’s history. there will now be many active,
children who were suffering Tikva was founded on the principle that, thriving Jewish families in
homelessness and/or neglect, in addition to receiving love, warmth, Odessa, restoring the kinship
or living in bleak and destitute security and education, children should that was once lost. And Tikva
orphanage environments. feel as though they are a valued member continues to measure its
In response, he secured an of a community. This sense of inclusion success not just by counting
apartment and created the not only enhances their perception of the children who have made
first children’s home for just self-worth, it is an invaluable asset to great accomplishments in their
six of these children. This was their emotional well-being as they strive education or their career, but
the nucleus of what was to to find their place in the world. To this equally, in valuing the devoted
become Tikva. end, Tikva endeavours to instil Jewish spouse, the loving father, the enthusiastic
Tikva is a home in which hope overrides values in the children living there. Tikva volunteer and the conscientious mentor.
despair and faith fuels optimism. Every hopes that, by doing so, it will not only Since 1996, Tikva has engaged in a
day, Tikva opens its doors and our constant search for Jewish children in
hearts to Jewish children of the former need from the southern regions of the
Soviet Union, whose young lives have former Soviet Union, especially Ukraine,
been filled with suffering. Often the Moldova and Belarus. Tikva employs
products of abandonment and abuse, over 23 staff members who are tasked
Tikva makes it their mission not just to with seeking out, documenting and
raise the children in a safe and nurturing rescuing these destitute Jewish children.
environment, fulfilling all the basic They answer the ‘tip-off’ calls from
needs to which every child should feel concerned neighbours and teachers
rightfully entitled, but to help them and sometimes even anguished parents
overcome the experiences of their past themselves. The horrors they see are
and see themselves for the dignified and unimaginable, but these social workers
deserving human beings they are. and detectives are literally saving lives
and giving a future to the abused,

Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E 11

TIKKUN OLAM

neglected, malnourished and homeless Jewish children in this Israeli high schools, pursuing degrees at Israeli universities,
deprived area. Each year there are 100 new children who are colleges and religious institutions, participating in vocational
brought to Tikva’s homes and schools. Children come to Tikva training programmes, and serving in the IDF. Many have
from over 45 cities in Ukraine, Belarus, Russian Federation already entered the working world, and many have started
and Moldova. families of their own.

When Tikva’s children have reached at least 16 years of age Love and support of our children continues well into their
and are considered academically and emotionally ready, Tikva adulthood. The Tikva staff and community become a family
assists them in considering the option to make aliyah to Israel. to support Tikva graduates. Through starting employment,
Working with Tikva’s professional team of social workers, to marriage and raising children, Tikva is there to offer love,
counsellors and psychologists in Israel, Tikva helps coordinate support and sometimes just a listening ear. Our graduates
its graduates’ adjustment to their new surroundings and understand that while they may not have a traditional family
integration into their new Israeli life. to turn to, they have Tikva, they have each other, and they
Once in Israel, Tikva graduates are given access to the Tikva understand the importance of giving back and supporting one
Israel Alumni Centre in Jerusalem, a communal hub where another through life’s ups and downs.
former Tikva residents connect with one another and with As chief executive of Tikva UK, there is nothing more
Tikva staff. Here they can participate in Jewish enrichment heartwarming for me than watching our children transform
courses and a wide range of social and cultural activities. They into strong, determined, proud Jewish people. I remember
also receive career guidance and a promising future in Israel. meeting Artur when he joined Tikva at only a year old. Over
The centre offers all the comforts of a home away from home the years, he has been joined by younger siblings, born to a
– a kitchen, laundry facilities, study space, computer lab and mother who could not care for them. Today, Artur is finishing
activity room. The centre serves over 200 Tikva alumni weekly university and considering making aliyah, where he would
from Sunday through Thursday and is open 13 hours each like to serve in the IDF. And Olya, who has been with Tikva
day. With the support offered by Tikva in Israel, more than since birth. She is a sweet, happy and quiet young lady who is
750 alumni from Tikva in Odessa have successfully relocated thriving at Tikva and loves nothing more than to dance. Olya
to make Israel their home. Tikva graduates are enrolled in recently celebrated her bat mitzvah, along with her Tikva sisters.

TIKKUN OLAM

“Tikva was founded
on the principle
that, in addition
to receiving love,
warmth, security
and education,

children should feel
as though they are a
valued member of a

c o m m u n i t y.”

To date, we have seen 605 of our alumni get married. Thanks Over the best part of the last seven years, I have watched
to the generosity of Tikva’s supporters, young couples who them both grow up in our homes and become confident,
otherwise wouldn’t have the means, are able to celebrate their smart, ambitious and full of love. There were tears in my eyes
wedding day in a joyous, festive and dignified fashion. We have as I watched Marina walk down the aisle, to her groom, her
also seen more than 800 babies born to Tikva’s children. Like husband, her future. These individual successes are never
Katya, who came to live at Tikva when she was eight years old, taken for granted, and being a part of making this happen is
as she was orphaned at a young age. She is currently studying one of the main reasons I started working for Tikva and will
economics at the Tikva University, has married another Tikva continue to do so.
student and just celebrated the birth of their first son. Success Every minute of every day, Tikva takes another step towards
stories like these are a real testament to the incredible work tikkun olam, perfecting the world. There is another Jewish idea
that Tikva does, and how important it is to provide these that ‘whoever saves a life, saves the world’. At Tikva, we save
children with a loving home, where they can grow and become hundreds of lives and hundreds of worlds. We would not be
our future. able to do this without the support of our generous donors;
On the topic of life’s ups, I’d like to share another one of we, and all our Tikva children, are forever thankful for their
thousands of our success stories that springs to mind, as I help. Tikva provides these children with the opportunity to
recently returned from Odessa. On one of my first visits to start their own world, to have their own future, to write their
Tikva seven years ago, I met Marina. When I approached own stories. We are proud to have broken the cycle and helped
her, she was so frightened due to previous repetitive beatings them on their journey, and we salute their new beginnings.
and abuse. That same trip I met Borya. He was thin, pale and
unable to socialise. Earlier this year, when I visited Tikva for
the 18th time, I sat down as a guest at the chuppah of Marina
and Borya.

KAREN BODENSTEIN has a BSc is Psychology and has worked in the non for profit sector for
over 20 years, having started as a volunteer paramedic for the Israeli ambulance services for over
ten years and continued to work as a fundraiser in the UK. Karen is currently the CEO of Tikva UK,
having established a UK office in London over seven years ago. Karen is married to Anthony and
has three children.

We all have the ability to perfect the world.
GARETH KOBRIN

SPIRITUALITY

starsC O U N T I N G

I am sitting on my couch pondering what to write, thinking I always considered myself a man of science and logic, which
of my dog Ziggy, who we lost this week. He would always is a problematic worldview for someone whose son was born
chill next to me as I tapped away at the keys, trying to unlock with severe special needs.
something worthwhile to write. And even though he is not If there is no Divine force governing the world, then
here with me, he becomes my accidental muse. everything is random. Which means our Aaron’s genes
I picture him lying beside me on his back, with his paws in the randomly mutated after conception, resulting in a retardation
air in that cute way dogs do. I am brooding over the image of of the entire development process, and so we have a broken
him in this unnatural position, when a fleeting thought forms human. An error of evolution. In the past, such a weak link in
in my mind: how many animals sleep on their backs? the chain would not have been fit enough to survive. Nature
I think I am onto something and a quick Google search would have weeded out such a helpless creature.
reveals that humans are in fact the only ‘animals’ who adopt A natural human response might, therefore, be to think death
that sleeping pose. In truth, it appears all animals avoid lying would be the most merciful outcome. Aimee and I both admit
on their backs altogether. It’s apparently because, in the wild, that in the beginning, when AJ was fighting for his life, there
they worry about predators and so instinctively protect their were fleeting moments when we thought maybe it would be
bellies. (Dogs lie on their backs because they are domesticated, better if he just died.
and when they feel close enough to their human family, With the marvels of modern medicine, we spent the first two
comfort wins over instinct.) years of his life keeping him alive. And now he has survived,
We are the only ones who, by design, spend those despite evolution’s supposedly unintelligent design. This
philosophical moments before slumber staring up at the stars, renders Aaron – according to science – a pointless creation.
wondering what it all means. He can serve no purpose in the physical evolution of the
For me this conjures the seemingly childish story from Genesis, human species.
where Abraham questions G-d about how his legacy will Imagine what was going through my mind during those dark
prevail despite being a century old and physically unable nights in the early days, as I lay on my back, stared at the stars
to have children with his wife, Sarah. It is written that in and searched for what the purpose of such a defective human
response, G-d took him outside and said: “Look at the sky and could be. Conventional rhyme and reason is crystal clear:
count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you there is nothing such a being could contribute to the world.
will have!”

It seems we have been looking up at the stars for answers all
along. It’s a charming story, but deeper scrutiny of the words
exposes an obvious question that the sages pounce on. I am
sure you all know what the question is, but I’ll give you some
time to think about it while I take a brief personal interlude…

Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E 15

SPIRITUALITY

“Our job here is astonishingly simple:
we must strive to improve ourselves, and

entire cosmicthereby improve the entire cosmic order.”

But, it’s almost six years later now and not only has Aaron How do we find those sparks? Simply by doing those same
contributed, I know in my soul that this imperfect boy is activities, but in a way that reveals a higher, Divine meaning.
helping to perfect the world. Our mission is to think of every action we take as something
How can that be? that is literally perfecting the world.
There is a mishna that states that every person is obligated to This explains something the Rambam wrote almost a
say: “The whole world was created for me.” That means if millennium ago: “See yourself as though the entire world is
Aaron was capable of cognitive thought, he should think that. held in balance,” he taught “and any one deed you do could
What a preposterous theory: the whole world was created just tip the scales for you and the entire world to the good.”
so Aaron could be born? The whole world was created for you.
Let’s get back to Abraham and the stars, where I think we can I always try to understand these lofty concepts by finding a
find the answer… mundane comparison in the real world. The way I resolve this
The concept is that every letter in Torah is burning with one is by relating it to social media and the marketing holy
meaning, so if we find whole words or phrases that appear grail of making something go viral. Something goes viral when
redundant, we must dig deeper to unearth the secret. A closer an image or video spreads rapidly through a population by
inspection of the words of this pasuk should therefore make us being frequently shared with a number of individuals. No one
ask why G-d ‘took Abraham outside’ to show him the stars. can prove with any science or reason why or how it happens,
How would he have been able to see the stars unless he but certain things just circulate through the human ecosystem
was outside? with electric velocity.
The Midrash explains that Abraham wasn’t simply taken This is going to sound corny, but I think the trick is to think
outside his tent in the literal sense; he was taken outside the that everything we do could potentially go spiritually viral.
realm of the natural world, beyond reason. Whatever you I learned recently that there is a big difference between
make of this otherworldly interpretation, I think the message kindness and mercy (chesed vs rachamim). Very briefly: mercy is
is that we must know that it is possible to transcend the laws reacting to someone who needs you and fulfilling their need,
of nature. while kindness is giving for the sake of giving.
We lie on our backs and gaze at the heavens and, despite what Picture a moment in life when you do something truly kind.
science or reason might dictate, we know there is something I know I am on a lower level than most of Yalla’s esteemed
else out there, and there is a purpose. The beautiful idea of readers, but on the very rare occasions when I do something
tikkun olam is that our job here is astonishingly simple: we must good, if no one else is there to witness it, I will often catch
strive to improve ourselves, and thereby improve the entire myself thinking: “I wish people saw that.”
cosmic order. Imagine someone was secretly filming your act of kindness
Everything that exists and every activity we might do contains and posting it on social media for the world to see. Now
a spark of the Divine. Our responsibility is to find those imagine that goes viral, and suddenly almost every human on
Divine sparks, select them, and reconnect them to their earth is watching that moment and feeling inspired because
original, higher purpose, using the Torah as our guide. they have just witnessed pure chesed. In this fantasy, the world
would be a better place because of you.

16 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

SPIRITUALITY

order

That’s how I think of tikkun olam. How can our infinitesimal The number eight, therefore, represents going beyond the
deeds impact the world infinitely? Because they go viral natural. It’s a supernatural number. To get to eight, we
without us knowing it. I think that’s a pretty cool way to think must go outside of reality as we know it and see the celestial
of it. Every good thing we do is not only good for us, but good powers. That’s what being a Jew is – going beyond what
for us all. We simply need to realise that we all have the ability seems possible.
to perfect the world. This is why the covenant Abraham made with G-d had to
This reminds me of the story of the Roman who asked Rabbi be on the eighth day. Because it is a supernatural partnership.
Akiva: “If G-d wanted Jews to be circumcised, why didn’t He We have superpowers to help G-d perfect the world.
create them already circumcised?” The bite-sized answer to I think this is why G-d likens all of Abraham’s descendants
that massive question is that G-d created the world in a state (i.e., you and me) to stars. From our vantage point, stars
of imperfection because he wants us to be a partner in the appear as tiny specks of light in the sky. It would be easy to
continuation of Creation. We have a responsibility to bring regard each star as relatively insignificant in the grand scheme
human initiative to the world to help complete it. of things. However, nothing could be further from the truth.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that just after G-d took Each star is actually a phenomenally huge, burning mass of
Abraham outside of time and space, above the stars, He then energy and power; most are more than a hundred times the
tells him about bris milah. Count the stars if you can. I am a size of our own sun.
numbers guy, so it is important to me to know why a bris must Rabbi Yaakov Emden writes that Jewish survival throughout
happen on the eighth day. all the persecutions and exiles is the greatest miracle of them
The Maharal gives a beautiful explanation that fits perfectly all, greater than the Ten Plagues and even the splitting of the
here. Seven is the most natural of numbers. In Judaism, the Red Sea. And he lived in 1697 – before the Holocaust!
countless references to seven always refer to something finite It’s hard not to believe that we all have the capacity to do
or limited. For those who don’t believe that a Creator crafted miraculous things. The ability to literally perfect the world.
the world in six days and rested on the seventh (thereby We need to approach every single choice we make as if it
designing the seven-day cycle that is used by everyone today), could tip the scale in favour of good.
it is undeniable that the number seven permeates all biology As a more modern Jewish thinker, Albert Einstein, said:
and science. The seven seas, seven continents, seven vertebrae “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though
in the human neck, seven colours of the rainbow, seven pure nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is
notes in the musical scale… a miracle.”

GARETH KOBRIN was born South Africa where he graduated with He is married to Aimee and they have three children. When he is not
a master’s degree in economics from the University of Cape Town. doing VAT stuff, he loves to write and is obsessed with sport.
He moved to London just over a decade ago where he worked in the
banking industry for a few years, and then qualified as a chartered If you need any advice on VAT or just want some sports banter, Gareth
management accountant. He is now the CEO of a tax technology can be contacted at [email protected].
company called VATGlobal, which is part of the VAT IT Group.

Beit Issie Shapiro

makes its mark

Shira Druion has a Q&A session with NAOMI
STUCHINER, daughter of the late Issie Shapiro.

1: How did you get involved in Beit developing leadership and self-representation; and sharing
Issie Shapiro? knowledge throughout Israel, as well as internationally,
I am the daughter of the late Issie Shapiro, of Johannesburg, through research, consultation and training.
South Africa. My dad was one of the founders of the Selwyn
Segal Hostel, in Johannesburg, and throughout my childhood, As a 39-year-old social start-up in the field of disabilities, BIS’s
I, together with my siblings, had the privilege of learning expertise is in scaling up its impactful solutions – developed,
about people with disabilities and what could be done for researched and validated on-site – enabling the organisation
them. When my parents made aliyah in 1977, my father had to promote systemic change in the quality of life of people
a dream to set up a similar facility in Israel – unfortunately, with disabilities in Israel and internationally. BIS has Special
at the age of 65, when he and my mom, Lucie, were on a Consultative Status with the UN’s Economic and Social
trip to the USA, he passed away unexpectedly on the plane Council (ECOSOC) since 2012.
from NY to LA – before he could realise his dream. My mom,
brother, sister and I decided that we would realise his dream 3: How has BIS changed the game
for him and create a programme in Israel in his memory. My in the field in which it functions?
background is in community social work, and I felt committed BIS, through its innovative vision, strategy, leadership and
and equipped to take on this goal and to set up Beit Issie partnerships, has helped change the field of disabilities
Shapiro in Israel. in Israel. Its impact has been manifold – from setting the
standard for high quality therapeutic programmes, innovating
2: What services does Beit Issie new methods, researching and training of professionals in
Shapiro provide? Israel and internationally, promoting legislation to ensure
Beit Issie Shapiro (BIS) is Israel’s leading non-profit that all children will have access to quality services by law,
organisation furthering the rights, opportunities and services and forging partnerships to increase its impact. The field of
for people with disabilities in all sectors of society, impacting disabilities in Israel has attained a high profile and a high
on half a million people annually. It promotes social change standard – this has been Beit Issie Shapiro’s contribution.
through a three-pronged approach: development and provision
of cutting-edge services; advocating for better legislation and

18 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

SOCIAL INCLUSION

4: Has BIS set the bar higher than
it was before? How?

BIS is much like an R&D centre of excellence. It identifies The groups will be actively involved in changing attitudes in
unmet needs, develops innovative solutions, researches and Israeli society and advancing policies based on principles of
evaluates them, and then scales them up through dissemination social justice and equality. They will work at the local, regional
and promotion of policy and legislation change. One of and national levels promoting principles of justice and equality.
the main goals is to set new high-quality standards, through
evidence-based educational and therapeutic models, and then
disseminate them through its Training Institute and work with
the government to implement these standards into policy and
legislation, thus raising the bar for the whole field.

5: What special programs does BIS offer? Sports are life-changing for people with disabilities, both
Some examples of special programmes: physically and in terms of the new life skills, self-esteem, and
confidence gained. About to open, our newly renovated state-
Beit Issie Shapiro is at the forefront of the assistive technology of-the-art Hydro-Sports Center will offer pioneering adapted
(AT) revolution. We develop and use AT in our educational sports programming, rehabilitation and Special Olympics and
and therapeutic frameworks, for children with severe Paralympics training.
disabilities, to enable them to communicate, learn and
play so they can participate in school, at home and in their 6: Do you focus mainly on Israelis, or are you seeking
communities. to expand globally by offering your knowledge and
services?
Beit Issie Shapiro, together with Israel Elwyn, runs a thriving In 2012, BIS was granted Special Consultative Status with the
self-advocacy programme for people with intellectual Economic and Social Council of the United Nations. Since
disabilities. Remarkably, the programme’s participants then we have been expanding our global network and impact,
successfully advocated for a ground-breaking amendment presenting at the UN, taking part in international projects and
to Israel’s Legal Capacity and Guardianship Law, changing conferences, sharing knowledge and providing consultation
Israel’s model of guardianship over people with disabilities to and training around the world (for example, in the UK, China,
one of supported decision-making. To further this success, South Africa, USA and Canada).
BIS has recently established an innovative leadership
programme, consisting of five leadership groups: Parents; 7: What future expansion is in the wings?
people with learning disabilities & complex adjustment In terms of our work in Israel, we are focusing on innovations
challenges; people using alternative means of communication; in AT, leadership of people with disabilities and inclusion.
women; and youth. In terms of our global work, we are focusing on developing
strategic partnerships that will help us export BIS’s four
decades of knowledge and experience to a wider audience,
as well as import knowledge and best practices to enrich the
programmes developed in Israel.

For people with disabilities, technology changes lives, promoting participation and inclusion in society. Beit Issie Shapiro's
Technology Center experts will be holding a webinar on Sunday, March 29th, 10:00-11:00am, to present how using various
technologies allows people with disabilities, from early childhood to adulthood, to communicate effectively in different
environments, in ways that they have previously found challenging. To register, please write to [email protected]

SOCIAL INCLUSION

NAOMI
STUCHINER

D E D I CAT E D DAU G H T E R ,
D E D I CAT E D C I T I Z E N

For over four decades, Naomi Stuchiner has devoted her life Beit Issie Shapiro currently serves as a special advisor to the
to societal and communal activities. Beit Issie Shapiro, which UN Economic and Social Council, promoting the status of
she founded and directed, serves as a model for the integration people with disabilities around the world.
of people with disabilities into society. Stuchiner was born Stuchiner served as CEO of Beit Issie Shapiro from its
in Johannesburg, South Africa. In 1970, after completing establishment until 2006. She then founded the International
her studies in communal social work at the University of Friends of Beit Issie Shapiro, which she headed until 2010,
the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg, she immigrated to Israel and continues to serve as founder and member of Beit Issie
and immediately became involved in social initiatives. She Shapiro’s Board of Directors.
established the Hatikva neighbourhood community unit for Over the years, Stuchiner has been awarded numerous awards
the Tel Aviv municipality and was one of the founders of and recognitions, including the Henrietta Szold Social Work
the Community Mental Health Unit of the Shalvata Mental Award, the Prime Minister’s “Magen HaYeled” Award, the
Health Center in Raanana. Shalem Foundation’s Volunteer Medal of Honour and the
In 1980, after the unexpected passing of her father, Issie Minister of Health’s Shield for Outstanding Volunteers, and,
Shapiro, z”l, she founded Beit Issie Shapiro in Raanana to in 2017, from the IDC – the Wind Social Entrepreneurship
realise his vision that “every person has the right to live in Award and Honorary Fellow award. Stuchiner is married to
dignity within the community, and society has a responsibility Tuvia. She is the mother of four children, grandmother of
to give equal opportunities to people with disabilities”. 12 grandchildren and great-grandmother of two. She lives in
Beit Issie Shapiro provides direct services to over 30 Raanana and received the city’s Notable Citizen Award
000 Israelis each year, helping children and adults with in 2012.
developmental and other disabilities to access their rights
and opportunities for social integration.

20 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

SOCIAL INCLUSION

About A H M I R
LERNER,

executive
director, Beit
Issie Shapiro

Two months ago, I embarked on this W H Y B E I T I S S I E S H A P I R O ? And yet, there is data supporting that the
new role of executive director of Beit gaps are even larger in all areas of life
Issie Shapiro. In these two months, I have It was here that I found a combination of – in housing, education, transportation,
entered a fascinating new world, filled everything I believe in: leisure, employment and more.

with meaningful work and wonderful
people.
In recent years, I have made two • A social change organisation that seeks We have a long way to go. At Beit Issie,
to make a systemic impact – in Israel and we will continue to be a key driver of
worldwide. change, along with many partners from

significant decisions. The first was to • An organisation that deals with Israel and overseas. A change that will
leave the area of security, of which I reducing social gaps. bring about a society where everyone will
dedicated 30 years of my life, and begin • A ground-breaking and fundamentally have equal rights, will be involved and
to focus on the social sector, no less innovative organisation, in technology, in will be active.
important. service provision, in its practices.

At the Mandel School of Educational • An organisation that views education as In this short period, I have learned about
Leadership, I studied the education a tool for social change. the unique way we create an impact.
system, the civil sector and Israeli society • An organisation that understands that What struck me most was the way the
in depth, and I developed a passion for partnerships are a basic condition for organisation focuses on understanding
social impact and social resilience. growth. the needs of people with disabilities by
Then came the second decision – to lead working directly with them, translating
the wonderful team at Beit Issie Shapiro. We are in a period of significant change needs into solutions, and then distributing
in discourse and practice in the field of these solutions to create a better society.
I am incredibly excited to have found equal rights for people with disabilities I am very enthusiastic to be part of this
an incredible place to carry out this in Israel, and in the world. Beit Issie effort to improve the well-being of people
commitment. Shapiro is part of this change – in the with disabilities and work for a more
areas of legislation, inclusion, changing inclusive and equal society.
attitudes and service development.

Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E 21

SOCIAL INCLUSION

Shira Druion talks to LAURA WELLER,
chairperson of UK Friends of Beit Issie Shapiro.

1. Why did you get involved with BIS? as Google and SAP Laboratories, to develop accessible apps; it
I became involved with Beit Issie Shapiro after visiting their provides training to professionals in the disabilities sector; and
centre in Ra’anana in 2012. I was immediately moved by the it provides consultation and mentorship to entrepreneurs.
devotion and extraordinary care of the therapists towards the
children, and their families, in the early intervention centre and 3. What are your goals for BIS in UK?
school. I was fascinated to discover a disability organisation The UK Friends of BIS Board works closely with the
that prioritises research, development, training and advocacy, development team and others in the BIS management
alongside excellence in service provision. I knew right away team in Israel to raise our profile in the UK, to nurture
that I wanted to get to know BIS better, and discover how I and grow our supporter base, and to develop BIS/UK
could help. collaboration opportunities. I would love more people in the
UK to learn about BIS, to visit BIS in Israel, and get involved
2. Why are you passionate about BIS? as supporters and ambassadors. BIS provides a compelling
BIS is a pioneering organisation, an ideas incubator devoted hasbarah story, illustrating the best of Israel in its relentless
to researching, developing and providing the most effective entrepreneurship, its drive to accelerate social change and
therapies, and building a more inclusive society. It is a its global impact (as the world adopts its standards of best
sharing and collaborative organisation. BIS believes it has practice and its innovations).
a responsibility to bring its expertise to the widest audience, I am determined for BIS to collaborate more in the UK,
and to partner with others to maximise its impact. After and to find local strategic partners to enable local families
developing and testing its ideas in-house, it shares them and individuals to benefit from BIS’s expertise, and for BIS
broadly, through training and collaboration, across Israeli to learn from UK experts. We were delighted to collaborate
society and worldwide. with Kisharon, providing consultation on design aspects of
their hydrotherapy pool and multi-sensory room in their new
I am a strong believer in collaboration. BIS has proven that school, and we are advising an international research group at
the disability sector can benefit greatly from organisations the University of Hertfordshire on the design of a new app for
sharing expertise and working together to change attitudes kids with autism. We are planning more collaboration activities
and advocate for stronger legislation. I am particularly proud in the UK in 2020. We would love to hear from individuals/
of the global partnerships BIS has built in over 30 countries, organisations involved in disabilities who are interested in
through its role as a special consultant to the UN Economic potential collaboration: [email protected].
and Social Council, and the 13 Israeli disability laws, A leading UK disability charity CEO once told me: “Where
regulations and procedures that BIS has changed/created Beit Issie goes, others follow.” It is an honour and privilege to
under a coalition it set up. be working with an innovative, leading organisation in the field
of disabilities. The UK Friends of BIS looks forward to finding
I am passionate about BIS’s role as a leader in the assistive more people in the UK to join us with their energy, enthusiasm
technology revolution. BIS believes in the power of technology and support, to propel us forward on our vital mission to create
to unlock the potential of people with disabilities. In addition a more inclusive society.
to using assistive technology throughout its educational
frameworks, it collaborates with technology companies, such

LAURA WELLER is the Chairperson of UK Friends of Beit Issie Shapiro. She also advises a number
of other charities, including as an advisory board member of PJ Library and a development board
member of NLCS school. Laura is passionate about making a positive difference through bringing
people together. She began her career as a commercial lawyer, and lives in London with her
husband and 3 children.

SOCIAL INCLUSION

Inbar Paz

TAKES TO THE
WATER TO

FEEL THE BEIT
ISSIE LOVE

I fell in love with BIS the moment I started my hydrotherapy The studies were of an exceptionally high standard and
course there! Arriving there every Thursday for the duration included 300 theoretical academic hours and 130 hours of
of the 10-month course was something I waited for each week. practical work. During my days at BIS, I realised how amazing
The course was very detailed and included studies of anatomy, this place was! All the people working there are an amazing
physiology, introduction to disabilities, learning disabilities, bunch who are willing to give and to support the clients
ADHD, autism, CP, developmental psychology, sensory and their families. The moment I finished my hydrotherapy
modulation disorders, typical and atypical development, and course, I decided that I did not want to work anywhere other
evaluation and goal-setting in the water and on land. than BIS. I started as a volunteer in the pool, and then began
working there after few months when it became possible. I was
so proud to tell people that I was working at BIS!

The studies related to the water included WATSU 1+2, I’ve met patients with a huge variety of abilities and
Halliwick, introduction to Jahara and Bad Ragaz. Learning so disabilities. My youngest patient was a 5-month-old baby,
many techniques has allowed me to find the right fit for which and my oldest patient was almost 90. I have treated children
therapy to use for my different clients with different medical with cerebral palsy, autism, Duchene muscular dystrophy
conditions or disabilities. Hydrotherapy, as taught at BIS, gives and different genetic syndromes. I have treated adults with
the therapist the ability to tailor-make the session. Parkinson’s disease, people who underwent rehabilitation after
having a stroke and those who had joint replacements.

24 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

The water is an amazing medium for therapy. Since you I have learned never to judge any parent for their decisions.
don’t have to carry your own weight or fight gravity, in the I have learned modesty in being a therapist. I have learned
warm water the muscles can work harder and the range of that people with disabilities can do much more than we think
movements is higher. Hydrotherapy has a great effect on a they can, and we just have to give them the chance. I have
patient’s mood and the feeling of ability and success is learned that every child with any disability can understand and
so valuable. thrive if we just show them the way and support them. I have
BIS is open to everyone! Children without disabilities come learned that I don’t want to do anything else other than being
for swimming lessons at the same pool and at the same time a therapist.
as children with disabilities. BIS treats the family as one whole BIS is the place where I feel at home. I visit there every time I
unit. We know today that parents, grandparents and siblings visit Israel. I have friends there, and they are friends for life. In
of the patient are also affected, and BIS advises them all. any professional matter or concern I have, they help me, even
though I am in London and do not work for BIS anymore.

BIS is a leader in using technology everywhere in order BIS has a wonderful International Rehabilitation Centre.
to provide a voice for anyone who can’t speak. They People with children from the age of two months, as well as
teach children from a very young age to use an iPad for adults, come from all around the world for their advice, and
communication. And if the child is communicating through to receive a variety of treatments, including physiotherapy,
the iPad, we use it in the pool as well. At BIS, people think occupational therapy, speech therapy, assistive technology,
outside of the box, so they found a way to use the iPad in the multi-sensory therapy, hydrotherapy and emotional support.
pool. All of these take place under one roof. For more information
Here, in London, I have opened my own hydrotherapy on booking treatments at the BIS International Rehabilitation
business, implementing what I have learned at BIS. Centre, please contact: [email protected].

I am trying to spread the word about BIS in London since I
truly believe that this place is so special. I wish there were more
places like it in Israel and around the world.

To find out more about Inbar's hydrotherapy
services, please contact: [email protected]
or www.facebook.com/watertherapylondon/

Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E 25

A
PLACE

everF yO oR ne

Gesher offers a meaningful learning environment
for children with special educational needs.

SARAH SULTMAN

EDUCATION

Gesher opened its doors in September 2017 with just seven
pupils. Today, only two-and-a-bit years later, there are 32
pupils, with six more set to join during the year. By the end of
2020/21, the school will have reached its on-site capacity of
46 pupils in London, and will need to find bigger premises –
such is the demand for a school like this.

Gesher is the first primary school of its kind for the
community. It provides a specialist meaningful learning
environment for children with special educational needs.
This includes language, communication and social pragmatic
difficulties. The school specialises in Autism spectrum
challenges.

It was founded by two mothers, Sarah Sultman and Ali “We are both highly ambitious people. We didn’t just want
Durban, after they met seven years ago. At the time, Sarah a school, but an outstanding school, the very best in class.
was at the beginning of her journey with her young son and A school that can become a model school and lead the
struggling to find a suitable school, and Ali had been through way. For us, it soon became apparent our plan wasn’t just
the system and felt totally let down by it. Neither could believe about opening a school, but developing a movement across
that the community, with its 35 Jewish primary schools , did the community. The school is the springboard for teaching
not have a single school that could accommodate pupils like the whole community about inclusion. This can’t just be
their children. about paying lip service, but ensuring that when our pupils
Their vision was to build a school that would be extraordinary, come home from school, they can be active in their local
one that would put the whole child at its centre and lead the community, from synagogues to youth movements.”
way in special educational needs (SEN). A school that would On a Friday, Sarah and Ali will often show visitors around
create a unique community and harness the best and brightest the school – the highlight is the Shabbat assembly. One of
talent to be its staff – teachers, therapists and support staff the remarkable things that visitors comment on is the
dedicated to changing the lives of children and families. They happiness of the children, and the vibrancy of the Gesher
wanted to create a team that would inspire each other as well community. For many of these children, prior to attending
as the children and families it would nurture. They wanted Gesher, they were home-schooled, excluded and off-
the school to become a centre of excellence, one that works rolled from mainstream schooling; some were non-verbal,
with SEN researchers and experts and collaborates with many were depressed, anxious and isolated. They had no
other schools and organisations to ensure it would be at the community, no peers and no friendships. Visitors are always
cutting edge of delivering the very best early intervention and surprised by the background stories, because when they
educational strategies to its pupils. They wanted to implement walk around the school, they see children engaging, playing,
therapies that are proven to have positive effects on the laughing and happy – it is almost impossible to believe this
children and weave them into the curriculum; not only speech was ever the case.
therapy and occupational therapy, but creative therapies too:
music, drama, art, nutrition and yoga, all combined with a
Jewish education and the warmth that celebrating Shabbat,
the chaggim, learning about Judaism and fostering a love for
Israel provides.

Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E 27

“If I had a child with special
educational needs, I would
want them to go to Gesher.

Their pioneering approach is
transforming education and

the way we teach children
with special educational
n e e d s .”

Professor Simon Baron Cohen,
world leader in Autism



EDUCATION

Gesher works closely with Professor Simon Baron Cohen at “I find your work, approach
the University of Cambridge, as well as other leading experts and attention to detail on
in the field of Autism and education. The school was recently behalf of the children and
awarded an Ofsted Outstanding, cementing the its position staff so inspirational.”
as the leading SEN school in our community, and in the top James Wetz, author and
3% of SEN schools in the UK. In addition to this, Gesher is educationalist
nearing the end of a unique collaboration and research project
between Mishcon de Reya and the Autism Research Trust,
exploring vulnerability in primary aged autistic children. The
results of this research make for sobering reading. Primary
school is the beginning of the journey; what happens to a
child at secondary will shape and determine his or her future,
and Gesher is mindful of the ‘what happens next’ phase when
the children leave the school.

The school has been built on generous community
philanthropy and the recognition by many in the community
that we have to do more than shunt these children through
a one-size-fits-all system that has been proven to fail them,
cannot care for them, and inevitably damages their future
prospects further. In many ways it is like a social impact bond,
because by investing in a child’s education when they are
young can offset a huge financial burden of responsibility
when they leave school, damaged by the status quo system as
young adults.

Ali and Sarah have big ambitions for Gesher’s future. The
school still needs to secure a larger, permanent site, continue
to grow and nurture collaborations and partnerships, to lead
the way in SEN in the UK by building a model that can be
replicated nationwide, and most importantly, giving children
and their parents a community and the chance to enjoy
their childhoods and flourish into independent, resilient and
confident adults.

SARAH SULTMAN began her professional career working for over educational provision on offer for these types of children in the UK
a decade at Gartmore Investment Management as a sales director. and the disappointing and disheartening results led to the creation
She left to pursue her passion for art and set up her own company, of Gesher. Sarah is active in her community and believes firmly that
and consultancy. The birth of her third child set her off on her ‘third alongside the school the wider community needs to be educated and
career’ in Sen education. His diagnosis of ASD, dyspraxia and sensory encouraged to be more inclusive.
processing disorder led her to explore , alongside Ali Durban , the

EDUCATION

OLIVER'S STORY, AS TOLD BY SARAH, HIS MUM

“Can you imagine how it feels to be the tormented parent of an eight-year-old cast
aside by an education system that refuses to help or acknowledge him. The eldest
of my three children, Oliver, required the most attention because of his ADHD and
ASC [autism spectrum condition]. By the time he was eight, Oliver had been out of
education for over a year. Formally excluded – a terrifying term for any parent. Having
no school to attend meant he also had no friends. School failed him. None of his
teachers had understood him. They rang me daily to collect him. The other children
ostracised him and bullied him relentlessly. The school didn’t need Oliver and expelled
him. It was devastating to see him unravel. There is nothing worse than not being able
to support your child or ‘fix’ things. It affected our entire family. I had to give up my
job to look after him. Oliver was lost, his life was miserable and I felt like the only
one who believed in him. I knew my beautiful eight-year-old deserved more.

“I read about Gesher, then attended the open morning. What struck me most was how
happy the children were. They answered my questions and the resources on offer
were amazing. I knew this was where Oliver belonged. I would do anything I could to
get him into Gesher and that meant fighting the local authority, and putting myself into
debt to do so. Oliver was offered a place, and I went to court to secure it. But, finally,
I wasn’t alone; the school’s head teacher came with me to help us win his place.

“Since starting at Gesher, Oliver’s whole life has changed, as has our family’s. He
is happy. Everything is positive and manageable. His attitude towards reading and
writing has improved; he used to tear up homework and refuse to do it. Now he reads.
The school has a schedule and he always asks what is happening the next day – he
is interested. Classes are small; the teachers understand each child and pay more
attention to them. My family functions better now. The school has a programme for
parents to support us at home and we work as a team. My son has friends, he is happy
and learning and full of hope for his future. I have just returned to full-time work.

“My school is different – my school is good.”
Oliver, aged 9

“If I have done anything good in my life, it is to get him into Gesher.”
Sarah, Oliver's mum.

THE
RELATIONSHIP
ACCOUNT

Unlocking the key to every relationship.
RABBI MOSHE LEVY

CREATING CONNECTIONS

Everyone in life wants to be happy. Growing up in America, When I was in university, we were taught about Walmart.
it was one of the core values we often discussed: Life, liberty Walmart was one of the biggest companies in the world at
and the pursuit of happiness. Everyone wants to have a good the time. Our professor explained how it became so successful.
relationship with their parents, siblings, children, co-workers The CEO had very good short-term memory and he would
and all the people in their lives. The question is... how? have a case file on each worker. He would come in and call
No matter what you do, some people are always full of drama. each person by their name, ask about their spouses and chil-
Some are bossy and some are angry. Some people just can’t dren by name, and he even knew their ages and the schools
see past themselves and you just can’t work with some people. they attended. He would then give them their year-end bo-
How can we be happy in life with so many different challeng- nuses. Each employee felt like a million dollars and could not
ing people all around us? believe that even though there were thousands of workers at
Often, a couple will have a big fight and then, 10 minutes Walmart, the CEO knew their name, job and family. He filled
later, it is all okay. At other times, a couple will have a tiny up these relationship accounts and was rewarded with the best
disagreement about something so insignificant and they won’t productivity possible.
speak for weeks. Perhaps he is a certain type and she is certain Here’s the key to this strategy: don’t wait until the relationship
type, but that’s not usually the challenge. account is empty before you fill it up. Fill up the account even
I once heard a great explanation from Rabbi Yaacov Haber. when it is already full. We all make mistakes and withdrawals.
He explained that if a person goes to the bank and takes out Don’t wait to take your kids or your spouse out for dinner after
$1 000, and he only has $1 000 or $1 200 in his account, then you have been away or were very busy – take them out even if
things will be very tight until the next payday. If he takes out you took them out last week and the week before.
$1 000 but he has $10 000 or $100 000 in his account, then I travel a lot for work, but I always make sure to have a family
it’s no problem. It all depends on how much the person has in trip or a dinner out before I go away. I don’t send my kids to
his account. camp, we do “Mommy Camp”. We have day trips with them
Every relationship has a relationship account. If your child and fill up our children’s relationship accounts. I try and make
hardly ever gets into trouble at school, and you get a call sure I go away with my wife once or twice a year. People often
about him or her misbehaving just once, you don’t get upset. think that going away with the family is a vacation. I always
The child is generally well behaved, and s/he made a mistake. say they are two separate things, and that after the family trip,
If you have a child who is constantly getting into trouble, then we need a vacation. Family trips are amazing and, when I
even a small misdemeanour can lead to a big punishment for think back, it is often what I remember most about my child-
the child, as the relationship account is on empty. hood, but it is simply not a break. Going away just with your
spouse is a vacation. You don’t realise how necessary it is until
you do it and how much it fills up your relationship account.
You don’t always need to travel – even a night out can fill up
the account.

The couple who had a big fight that didn’t last long – even There are all types of people in the world, but if you make
though there was a large withdrawal of $10 000 from the sure you are constantly keeping your relationship accounts
‘relationship account’, the account had $100 000 to begin with the people you care about and the people you interact
with. The couple who had a tiny argument may have only had with on a daily basis full, then you will have good relationships
a $100 withdrawal, but the account was ‘on empty’, so they and a happy life. It is essential to make the time and effort –
don’t speak until it gets filled up again. just don’t wait until the account is in the red and it is too late.

MOSHE LEVY grew up in Brooklyn, New York, where he received in Hasmonean Boys and Girls School. His weekly ‘Lunch and
a degree in finance from Touro College, and went on to receive Learn’ classes in Hatton Garden are oversubscribed and he is a
rabbinic ordination in Eretz Yisrael while studying in the kollel of regular guest speaker in synagogues, as well as at Jewish events,
Rabbi Yitschak Berkowitz shlita. Rabbi Levy has experience in throughout London. He is a sought-after speaker for schools,
teaching sixth form students in JFS, Immanuel College, City of synagogues, university students and communal events. It’s hard to
London Boys, and Haberdashers Boys, and gives weekly classes imagine how one man can do so much!

cycleTHE
OF MY
LIFE

The ‘Pocket Rocket’ discovered she
was stronger than she had ever realised!

AIMEE KOBRIN

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GO RIDE – CYCLING EXPERIENCES

I mount a bicycle I don’t own, slide my feet nervously into the The truth is – aside from
clipless pedals (called cleats) and stare at the hill in front of me. wanting to give back – I
It’s very steep. Downhill. needed to do something for
I am in Metula, the northernmost town in Israel, about to myself. I needed to break
embark on a six-day war with seven hundred kilometres of away from me, do something
roads and valleys across the Holy Land, and there is one thing with other people and
on my mind. I have never ridden down a mountain before! experience being part of
something bigger. What better way than to spend a week in
Israel, travelling from the Golan to Eilat, putting my physical
and mental abilities to the test.

To say I was underprepared would be harsh, but I certainly I must say, I didn’t think much about the ride other than that
wasn’t well prepared. Even if I had gone for any coaching I was doing it. I hadn’t visualised what it would be like, either
(which I didn’t), or if I had at least clocked the hours on the emotionally or physically. I didn’t really know anyone on the
road in preparation (which I didn’t), I still don’t think there are trip, so I must admit that panic set in when I realised: “Oh my
any roads in London with a gradient like this. gosh, I actually don’t know anyone! And we have to spend six
But it’s the unknown around the corner that turns my wheels days riding across a country together…”
these days, so I take a deep breath, close my eyes and push I think the ride is an elegant metaphor for how I have dealt
gently on the pedal… I have been very fortunate in my life. with my little boy, AJ. Snoopy said it best: “Life is like a ten-
I was brought up in a family built on kindness. Chesed fuelled speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.”
my parents, and I have been on the receiving end of kindness It’s like when he was born, I thought I was prepared. And then
my whole life. I think in some way I decided to take on the suddenly he was diagnosed with this hectic syndrome and I am
challenge to ride across Israel for Norwood as a way of giving staring off a cliff, thinking: “How do I survive this?”
back. I wanted to continue the cycle of giving. But as any of you who have had to deal with any kind of
Every year, Norwood hosts a series of fundraising challenges adversity will know, the only way to deal with it is by taking
for volunteers. The most recent challenge – from 27 October that first step into the unknown. You close your eyes and ease
to 3 November – entailed cycling the length of Israel. The your foot onto the pedal. Every day with Aaron is a challenge
organisation has been hosting these #NorwoodChallenges for and sometimes I have no clue, as his mother, what his needs
27 years. The charity is premised on supporting and improving are. Most of the time it’s a guessing game. He is almost six and
the lives of people from all backgrounds with learning he can’t tell me what he needs. I don’t know if he is feeling sick
disabilities, and they encourage volunteers to take part and or hungry or hurt.
raise awareness and funding. (The challenges are typically bike
rides or treks in foreign countries and I would encourage all of
you to consider taking part – it is truly life-changing.)

Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E 35

ON THE ROAD

But you just keep going. Just keep pumping those legs against and downs when I just had to shut up and listen and learn
the pedals. Just like riding a bike, it feels automatic. And there from those with experience.
are moments on a bicycle where it just clicks. Your legs remain
in motion, but your thoughts stay in the moment, allowing you Ultimately, these lessons made the ride worthwhile. By the time
to admire the beauty in the pain. I crossed the finish line, I was ready to become a pro rider!
I was even given a nifty nickname – I was dubbed the Pocket
Rocket by my fellow riders, and I am owning it! I am not saying
this to show off, I just think it is such an important message for
Like when Aaron takes my hand and walks me to the kitchen. life. We face challenges all the time that we are seemingly not
That’s his way of saying he’s hungry. Or even when he chucks prepared for, but we are stronger than we know and sometimes
the remote control in my face (that means he wants to watch better than we ever anticipated.
football). If you think flying down a mountain seems scary,
looking up a mountain is far more daunting. How am I People ask me if the ride was hard, but to be honest, I have
supposed to get up there? I’m still not really sure how I did it. no clue. I can barely remember the physicality, but I am
telling you that AJ got me through it. I
thought of him and there was no way I
AJ might not have been there with “It’s the unknown wasn’t going to smash every kilometre.
me physically, but he was with me around the corner There was no way I was turning back
mentally every turn of the handlebars that turns my wheels or giving up. I had my whole family
for sure. I have no clue how I did it. I these days, so I take behind me: my dad, my sister and
had been on the road with the team of a deep breath, close my brother were with my husband to
cyclists three times prior to the ride. I my eyes and push meet me at the finish line in Eilat. My
bought myself some hybrid bike from daughters and little AJ were waiting
Halfords, but I had hardly used it. I patiently at home. And, through the
had no idea about bicycle gears and incredible generosity of friends, family
how important they are on a long- and the community, I had managed
distance ride, and I had never heard to raise almost £15 000. Nothing was
of cleats. Bolting my feet to the pedals getting me off this bike. Failure was not
seemed like pure madness! an option.

gently on the pedal…”

Who knew you could have a whole conversation with your The ride taught me so many lessons, not least of which is that
feet? Yes, I am that girl who rode around town with a Nike we can all help to make the world better. Our job is to keep
trainer on one foot and the other stuck in a cleat. I was giving, and hopefully by giving we can inspire others to give as
literally talking to my feet every time I had to get off the bike. well, creating a cycle that makes the world a better place. The
Those conversations continued throughout the ride in Israel – first step is always the hardest, but once we set that cycle in
whenever I felt my legs burning with exhaustion, I would tell motion, it brings balance.
them loudly: “Shut up legs, you work for me!”

I had a crash course (literally) in gear-changing during one of I am utterly humbled and grateful to have met the incredible
the three training sessions I did join, but that day was cut short people who rode with me. I was doing it for Aaron, but
because of the London weather. I received on-the-ground most of them gave of their time to do something so cool
training and tips from the amazing crew who supported us and so inspiring, just to do good. That is true chesed and it is
during the challenge, guiding me every pedal of the way. remarkable.
(Thanks to the amazing team at Go-Ride, details above and of I was privileged to be riding alongside the special Jake and
course, Ariel and Liav for keeping us safe.)Therein lies another Stephanie, two beautiful souls with their own challenges to
important lesson: often when we feel like we don’t know what face every day, but who somehow muster the courage to get
we are doing, we must trust in those who have been there and on bikes and join their incredible parents to raise awareness.
done it. There have been countless times during Aaron’s ups

36 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

ON THE ROAD

I think it’s worth retelling the story I wrote while raising have a place in this world. Knowing this makes the future
money for the ride. A couple of years ago, I had just taught climbs and falls a little less daunting.
my daughters how to ride bicycles, so I got a bit sad when it So here I am, a few months on from the bike ride, and
dawned on me that Aaron will never learn how to ride. But one of the biggest challenges was actually coming home to
this only lasted a beat, because instead of focusing on that, I ‘normality’. The three months before the trip I had adrenaline
decided to put him on my lap and ride with him! pumping through every fibre in my body; training, fundraising
You can’t believe how he laughed as he experienced that and getting myself prepared. Then I had a life-changing week,
sensational feeling of freedom and movement. However, I meeting the most inspirational people and just letting loose
hadn’t thought about the dismount, and when I stopped to and being me.
take a break, Aaron fell off, landing quite badly on the gravel, When I got back to dreary London, I thought: “Now what?”
breaking his collarbone. I didn’t know this at the time, and I soon got over that because I realised that I am now part of
Aaron laughed off the pain, looked up at me and made the the #NorwoodChallenges family. I will soon bring my own team
motion that (most of the time) means “more”. So we got back to these wonderful events – just like Team Jake and Team
on the bike. We rode around for an hour that day and Aaron Stephanie – and I can’t wait to test my boundaries again.
was euphoric. It was only after I saw him with his one shoulder I think my (and Aaron’s) message is clear: when the spirits
slumped that I realised something was wrong. He snapped are low, when the day appears dark, when hope hardly seems
his fragile collarbone (widely recognised as the second most worth having, just mount that bicycle and ride, without a
painful bone to break) and still smiled and giggled through his thought on anything but the ride you are taking. And keep an
first outing on a bicycle. eye out for Team AJ and the Pocket Rocket.
Imagine we could all look past the pain and just enjoy the ride?

I used to stay up late at night thinking about what school If anyone is interested in participating in one of these magical
Aaron would go to, or how he will be when he is 15. rides or treks, please contact [email protected]
Or what if, G-d forbid, something happens to me or my or visit www.norwood.org.uk/pages/challenges/
husband? I am so grateful that there is a place like Norwood,
which will still be available when my AJ is older. And he will

AIMEE KOBRIN comes from the sunny shores of Cape Town, South Africa! She has been living in
London for 15 years. She is married to ‘Mr G’, mother to Ruby, Summer and little AJ. She is obsessed
with animals and off-the-wall crazy! And if she isn’t in the gym then she might be on the road riding,
or most certainly on a spin bike somewhere (she is a slightly obsessed gym bunny). She loves the
world and lives life to the fullest.

AFRICAN SKIES

Afrika Tikkun

Start small, think big

Partnering with G-d to make the world complete
is every bit as prodigious as it sounds.
PAULA LEVIN

AFRICAN SKIES

If G-d is so good, why is the world so bad? Humanity has businessman and philanthropist, Bertie Lubner (of blessed
grappled with this paradox for millennia. It’s a question that memory) and Chief Rabbi Cyril Harris (of blessed memory)
has led many to lose their faith, going through life depressed decided to mobilise Jewish leaders to begin the mammoth
and cutting themselves off from the pain inside and around task of tikkun olam. They created a Jewish-led charity called
them. Other people have taken the approach of carpe diem – “MaAfrika Tikkun” (now Afrika Tikkun.) They started by
seize the day, for tomorrow it will be over; they are motivated paying a visit to a local informal settlement, where they found
by self-interest, pursuing hedonism at all costs. But there is people were living in squalor, so their very first project was to
another approach. renovate shacks belonging to the elderly.

David Sacks, American television writer and co-founder of “My late father took the decision very early on that he didn’t
Los Angeles’ Happy Minyan, quotes the Kotzke Rebbe in want to do this work on an ad hoc basis,” says Afrika Tikkun
a brilliant analogy: Imagine you walk into the kitchen as CEO Marc Lubner. “He knew that for our work to be
someone is baking a cake. Broken eggshells, flour everywhere, sustainable, Afrika Tikkun had to be run like a business with
and inside the mixing bowl it’s
worse… a huge mess of chocolate, strict disciplines and to look at change
clumps of dough and raw eggs. Why holistically. We developed our Cradle
is it such a mess? Because it’s not yet to Career model to try and end the
finished. cycle of poverty.” Marc has been
Let’s take one step further and ask why running the charity for the past 15
G-d designed it in this way? Part of years and also draws on his experience
this incredibly complex subject is that and discipline in business, having left
G-d has handed us a broken world so his private equity firm to focus on the
that we can partner with Him in the charity. “I wanted my life to be about
act of creation, in making this world more than numbers in a bank account.
complete. This is the work of tikkun I wanted to help advance as many lives
olam. Far from being a mere detail as possible,” he shares.
in the vast body of Talmudic and Torah literature and law, “We start off helping children from the
tikkun olam is a central principle and driving force of the Jewish age of two, offering early childhood development, then child
people, taking centre stage in one of our holiest prayers, where, and youth development until the age of 18, and after that, a
three times a day, we recite the verse “Letakein olam bemalchus career development programme for age 18 to 25, where we
Shakai” – to perfect the world under the Sovereignty of G-d. offer skills and work-readiness training. Finally, we have Afrika
Tikkun Services, which offers placement in the workplace.”

South Africa 1994 was a watershed moment for the Jewish It’s a 360-degree offering, operating out of five centres – four in
community. Classified as “white”, we had spent the apartheid Gauteng and one in the Western Cape – where social workers
years in a bubble of privilege. The country’s wealth had and primary healthcare workers look at each child and the
been invested in white interests, in white areas, denying basic unique challenges they face within their families and wider
infrastructure and services to those with the wrong skin colour. community. “Each centre touches the lives of its surrounding
When Nelson Mandela was voted in as the first democratically community and schools just as a rising tide lifts a small boat,”
elected president, for the first time, Jews had the opportunity says Marc. Afrika Tikkun also offers additional support
to venture into the townships and informal settlements and services, such as nutrition and food security programmes,
see what life was like for the country’s disadvantaged majority. healthcare, gender-based violence (GBV) and child abuse
Doing so before that was risky and attracted attention from support, plus family support and an empowerment programme
the security police. It was a contravention of the Group for children and families living with disabilities. This type of
Areas Act, which segregated the country by race. As the thinking is what distinguishes tikkun (repair) from tzedaka or
country embraced democracy and apartheid fell, billionaire chesed. Chesed can be a random act of kindness, uplifting a life

Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E 39



AFRICAN SKIES

for just a moment with a kind word or organisation’s patron-in-chief when that her company had organised, and
deed. One can argue that tzedakah is as he visited its Orange Farm centre drove around donating it to those less
much for the giver as for the recipient, in 1999. He called the organisation fortunate. She has since exported the
as the mitzvah can be achieved even by “a miracle”. South Africa’s minister model to the UK, New Zealand and
placing a small coin in a charity box, of social development recently met Thailand. I promised Ronni that one
before it has reached its end beneficiary. with Afrika Tikkun to take notes on day I would bring the OzHarvest
Tikkun olam is a far grander enterprise. the organisation’s tried and tested concept home to its roots.”
It’s designed to transform, to affect model for social change – a significant The organisation has come full circle
permanent change. “We recently endorsement of its work and hopefully and in just six weeks, SAHarvest has
commemorated Bertie Lubner Week, the beginning of tikkun on an even redistributed 11 000 meals. SAHarvest
where alumni of the Afrika Tikkun greater scale. The organisation is uses refrigerated vehicles to collect
system take time off from their busy anchored and led by rabbis and Jewish and deliver perishable and non-
lives and their work to give back to the community leaders like South Africa’s perishable foods, enabling their recipient
centres where it all began for them. Chief Rabbi Dr Warren Goldstein, organisations to get sufficient variety
This year, we had 1 900 graduates who has served as Honorary President; to provide full and nourishing meals to
participate. It truly is awe-inspiring to Rabbi Dovid Hasdan (Dean of Torah their people. “It’s a wonderful feeling,
see measurable change and to see the Academy Schools and Rabbi of Great but it’s nowhere near enough,” says
ripple effect of empowering these young Park Synagogue), who serves as non- Alan. “Ten million tons of food are
people,” says Marc. executive director; as well as Ann Harris wasted every year in South Africa, but
“We recently added entrepreneurship (wife of Rabbi Cyril Harris) among 13 million people go to bed hungry
training to our programme for school- many other notables. every night. We’ve got to do more.
leavers to increase their chances of Alan Browde has just started his journey Tikkun olam is more than just feeding
economic empowerment,” he adds. In of tikkun olam. Having recently sold his people – it’s changing the way people
a depressed economy, entrepreneurial business, he has turned his attention to think, it’s changing the way society is
skills are crucial for people to create helping solve hunger in South Africa. organised. It’s making changes at a
their own jobs and opportunities, so Yes, really. “I grew up with Ronni Kahn, structural level to make society more
this new programme is indicative of who started OzHarvest, Australia’s food equal. Its fighting to repair the world,”
an organisation that thinks proactively rescue organisation that diverts food says Alan.
and aims to effect real and permanent from going to landfill and delivers it to Tikkun olam is the ability to see suffering,
change. Afrika Tikkun has capacity to organisations feeding the hungry. Ronni and not to look away; to see the world’s
uplift 20 000 people within its system at credits the idea for OzHarvest to my brokenness and not to give up, not to
any time and needs an annual operating mom, Selma Browde. My mom was an get depressed and not to retreat into
budget of R180 million (almost £9.5 anti-apartheid activist who helped fight self-interest. It requires grit, tenacity
million). for electricity to be provided to homes in and optimism to refuse to accept the
In the last 25 years, there have been Soweto. Ronni was blown away by the status quo. It’s about starting small but
over 20 million meals served, 75 000 fact that millions of people had access thinking big and, as the Jewish people,
families were supported, and 480 000 to electricity because of something my it’s in our DNA.
people received primary healthcare mom did, and she wanted her life to
services. Nelson Mandela became the have the same impact. She went back
home to Australia and started small,
taking the food left over from events

PAULA LEVIN is a full-time thinker, part-time writer and published author with a background in
journalism and magazine editing. She landed a cushy job working as a copywriter in her husband’s

ad agency and no longer needs permission slips to dash to gym, coffee and school lifts.

TEENS

AT WHAT AGE
SHOULD YOU

GIVE
A CHILD A

Dear RachelPHONE?

TEENS

RACHEL VECHT

This is a question I am asked very often and there is no clear • Do they look after their
answer. There is no law about when you can buy your child a possessions?
phone, since parents usually take out a contract or pay-as-you- Are they constantly losing things, leaving their gym kit in the
go under their own names. playground, regularly forgetting homework or breaking their
We know that, as children, we managed perfectly well without glasses? If so, you can assume it’s highly likely that they will
phones. I used to travel every day to school, at age 11, on also lose or break their phone. Start them off with a basic,
the tube into the city. My parents didn’t know whether I had inexpensive model until they have proven they can be careful.
arrived safely and just assumed that no news is good news!
Today, parents want to know their kids are safe and be able to • Do they genuinely need a phone
get in touch straight away, or locate their exact whereabouts for safety?
using GPS.

There is no ideal age to receive a phone, as it is dependent on • Would they benefit socially from
individual circumstances and the temperament or maturity of access to friends via the phone?
your child. Does your child feel left out socially because s/he doesn’t have
a smartphone and isn’t communicating on the WhatsApp
Here are some important questions to consider groups with classmates?
before giving your child a phone.
• Do they stick to other limits and
• What do they actually need the boundaries, such as screen-time at
phone for? home, or bedtimes?
Increasingly, children of primary school age are being given
phones, but there is a big difference between ‘wanting’ a • Are they impulsive? Will they be
phone and ‘needing’ a phone. Succumbing to ‘pester power’ able to put down the phone when you
or ‘peer pressure’ is not a valid reason. want them to?
Every family has different circumstances. Parents who are
separated or divorced, or parents who work full-time, may • Are you willing to set clear
give their child a cellphone to be able to get in touch with limits and boundaries, keep on top of
their mother or father easily, without having to ask permission their usage, be consistent and take
from the other parent or carer. the phone away if you have to?

• Do you model the phone or
screen behaviour you want your child
to have?

Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E 43

TEENS

SMARTPHONES VERSUS REGULAR PHONES

The most typical age for children to receive a phone The golden rule is: never give your child a phone or access
these days is about 11 or 12, when they transition to to any form of screen (games console, PC, iPad, etc) without
secondary school. This is usually because they are travelling establishing boundaries for usage.
independently. If it’s purely to communicate with parents in Children are not born knowing how to use phones safely and
case there is a problem (ie, text and calls) a basic phone will responsibly, so you need to talk it through and set very clear
suffice. These phones are more affordable, so it’s not as serious limits in all aspects of cellphone use. You are your child’s first
if they are lost or broken, and they will be less of a target for and most important teacher, so if you don’t want your child to
thieves. The number of stories I have heard about children use a phone during a family meal, while driving or at bedtime,
being mugged for their phones while walking to and from you should set an example and keep to the same rules.
school has definitely increased in my area over the past couple
of years. Be aware that children walking in the streets with
their smartphones visible are more at risk.

Once you have given your child a smartphone, you are Create a mobile contract with your child that clearly sets out
handing them an extremely powerful communication tool. Of when, for what and how it can be used. Your child needs to
course, a lot of what they can do on a phone they can also do be involved in creating the terms of this contract. It’s crucial
on other screens that may have been available to them earlier, to agree on the rewards for keeping to the boundaries and the
such as laptops or iPads. However, a phone is much more consequences for not.
portable and will be with them all the time, while they are out
and about, not under your supervision.

The biggest challenge parents will face is that in many circles, Children make mistakes. The most important thing is that
most children will be given a smartphone. Smartphones can you have an open, connected relationship. Even when things
expose your child to far more dangers, such as inappropriate go wrong, your children must feel they are able to talk to
content, sexting, grooming and cyber bullying. Unfortunately, you. Whatever happens, the lines of communication need to
while you should have the confidence to know what is right for remain open.
your child, you can be swayed by the social circles you mix in The online world is uncontrollable, but whether we like it or
and the norm for your child’s peer group. In religious schools, not, it’s very much a part of life in the 21st century. Parents
very few children have smartphones, so it’s not as much of have a huge responsibility to teach their children to use
an issue. However, if your child is going to be one of the only devices safely and responsibly, and if you leave it too late, it
ones in his/her peer group without a smartphone, it may be may become more difficult to set boundaries and have any
harder to stand your ground. You might worry that by not control. It’s a bit like forbidding your children to have sweets
giving them access to a phone, they are excluded from their or chocolate. Often, the more they can’t have something, the
peers, which could lead to bullying because they are different. more they want it.
Even if they do have one, try not to succumb to what others However, bear in mind that once you open that door, it will be
do. For example, last year my daughter was one of the only very difficult to close it.
kids in her year not to have Instagram or Snapchat, as I
enforced a rule that she had to abide by the recommended
age ratings and wait until year 8.

RACHEL VECHT trained as a primary school teacher at the Institute of Education and taught in both
the state and private sector. She has also worked as a university mentor and lecturer to student
teachers. Over the past 17 years (in addition to becoming a mother to four children), she has written
and delivered 'Educating Matters' seminars/webinars to tens of thousands of working parents in the
corporate and public sector and in schools. She also privately runs a 10-week Positive Parenting
Course covering more general parenting issues, and offers one-on-one consultations to parents
across the UK.
www.educatingmatters.co.uk



TIKKUN OLAM

Volunteers Robyn Smookler and Siobhan
Wilson walk through a relief camp on the
outskirts of Beira, Mozambique.

DISASTER
RELIEF

CADENA SA executive director LEANNE MENDELOW
details the humanitarian work of this notable organisation.

TIKKUN OLAM

Mandela famously said: “Education is the most powerful
weapon which you can use to change the world.” Inspired by
this idea, CADENA South Africa planned a Mandela Day
initiative of prevention and education at Mikateka Primary
School, Ivory Park in Johannesburg. Ivory Park is a South
African township whose population is made up of a close-knit
and multicultural community. The area is distinguished by
corrugated iron shacks, RDP (state-subsidised) structures and
middle-income houses juxtaposing one another.

CADENA South Africa (SA) is a non-profit organisation Mikateka Primary is a typical township school consisting
established on the Jewish principle of tikkun olam and is of over 2 000 learners and only 50 teachers. Due to the
dedicated to helping people affected by disasters (natural or small amount of funding and support they receive from the
man-made) and emergencies across southern Africa. It brings government, the school has not been able to provide any
aid “hand to hand” directly to those in need. CADENA is the necessary fire prevention and first aid training for its teaching
humanitarian arm of the South African Jewish community. staff, or any fire safety guidelines for its learners.
CADENA, meaning “chain” in Spanish, began in 2005 when CADENA SA, in partnership with the Fire Protection
five young Jews from Mexico City made the bold decision Association of South Africa (FPASA), ran a comprehensive
to hand-deliver relief supplies to communities devastated by fire safety workshop for the school staff and learners.
Hurricane Stan in Chiapas, Mexico. Since then CADENA Additionally, 20 teachers received the ultimate education
International has opened 11 branches worldwide, including – how to save a life! Through Medi-Response, the teachers
the first African office in 2018, in Johannesburg. completed a certified CPR training course and are now
The organisation is committed to improving the quality of equipped with the knowledge to act quickly and confidently in
life for vulnerable communities through sustainable and an emergency.
cost-efficient solutions, including providing education and
prevention programmes. Throughout 2019, CADENA ran On this school day, the learners of Mikateka Primary were
several programmes aimed at building resilience for women given only one piece of homework – to share with their
and children in townships surrounding Johannesburg. One of friends, neighbours, parents, siblings and community a single
the biggest events was held on Mandela Day. fire safety fact they had learnt that day.
Nelson Mandela International Day, 18 July, is an annual call
to action that aims to motivate individuals to help transform DISASTER RELIEF – MISSION TO
the world for the better, and in doing so, build a global MOZAMBIQUE
movement for good.
Following Cyclone Idai in March 2019, CADENA SA
deployed an emergency response team to the city of Beira,
Mozambique. The team distributed and installed 270 Sawyer
water filter systems and 200 solar lamps to communities in the
affected areas. Each filter can remove up to 99.9% of harmful
organisms, including Vibrio cholerae, in unsafe water, and
a single filter has the capacity to produce up to 800 litres of
potable water over a 24-hour period. If cared for correctly, the
filter can be used effectively for up to five years.

Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E 47

TIKKUN OLAM

CADENA SA executive director Leanne
Mendelow demonstrates fire safety practices
to the teachers and learners of Mikateka
Primary School.

TIKKUN OLAM

According to UNICEF, Cyclone Idai displaced over 175 000 During this mission, CADENA SA aimed to help displaced
people and left them without adequate sanitation systems, women and girls restore their confidence and recover their
leading to a cholera outbreak. Less than six weeks later, livelihoods through providing essential female hygiene
Cyclone Kenneth displaced a further 163 000 people and support.
heightened the risk of another major cholera outbreak. The organisation provided 412 schoolgirls with re-usable pads
In the aftermath of Cyclones Idai and Kenneth, menstrual and underwear as well as 1 500 families with hygiene kits
hygiene of Mozambican women and girls became a silent consisting of toothbrushes, toothpaste, washcloths, combs,
need. CARE (Cooperative for Assistance and Relief all-purpose ointment and Vaseline. Additionally, the team
Everywhere) reported that these women and girls were not distributed and installed 105 Village Bucket water filters and
only facing cholera outbreaks, but further serious health risks 100 solar lamps.
as a result of shortages of menstrual hygiene support.

In June 2019, CADENA SA sent a follow-up team of six The June mission provided aid for 27 300 people in the short
volunteers and staff to the Sofala and Manica provinces to term and access to clean water for 136 500 people over the
distribute and install Village Bucket water filters and solar next five years.
lamps, as well as to provide communities with basic hygiene
and dignity kits, including much-needed washable sanitary
pads and undergarments for women and girls.

LEANNE MENDELOW lives in Johannesburg with her husband, Leanne has also travelled through some of the world’s poorest
one-year-old son and rescue dog, Huxley. Leanne is the executive countries, such as Madagascar and Cambodia, and, through tolerance
director of Cadena South Africa. She has a diverse background in and understanding learnt on her travels, she is determined to build
environmental science, field work, research and education. She resilience within vulnerable communities across South Africa. Leanne
holds an MSc (marine biology) from the University of Cape Town, and is also a Marie Kondo enthusiast and currently training to become the
science has led her across rural southern Africa and Central America. first certified consultant in Africa.

SURF’S UP

HaGal Sheli

THE

OPPORTUNITY

TO MAKE A

DIFFERENCE

Catching the wave to a better future.
OMER TULCHINSKY & YARON WAKSMAN