Robert Dilts - Sleight of Mouth - The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

34 SLEIGHT OF MOUTH

Changing Frame Size

The Sleight of Mouth pattern of Change Frame Size
applies this principle directly to our perceptions of some
situation or experience. The pattern involves re-evaluating
(or reinforcing) the implication of a particular action, gener-
alization or judgment in the context of a longer (or shorter)
time frame, a larger number of people (or from an individual
point of view) or a bigger or smaller perspective. An event
that seems unbearably painful when we consider it with
respect to our own desires and expectations, for instance,
may suddenly seem almost trivial when we compare it to the
suffering of others.

Spectators at a sports event may end up in a frenzy if their
team wins or loses a particular game, or a person makes an
exceptionally good or exceptionally poor play. Years later,
when considered with respect to the larger landscape of their
lives, those same events may seem totally insignificant.

An action that seems acceptable if one person does it, can
become destructive and harmful if a whole group does it.

Childbirth can be an intense and frightening experience
for a person who is experiencing it for the first time. Being
reminded that it is a process that has evolved over millions of
years by millions of women, can help the person to have
greater trust and less fear in what is happening within her
body

Notice that the process of changing frame size is distinct
from that of shifting to another outcome. A person can
maintain the same outcome, such as "healing" or "safety," but
change the frame size in which he or she is evaluating
progress towards that outcome. The specific symptoms of an
illness, for example, may be viewed as not being "healthy" in
the framework of their immediate consequences, but as a
necessary process of "cleansing," or of immunizing a person
with respect to their long term consequences. The field of
homeopathy, for instance, is based on the premise that small

FRAMES AND REFRAMCVG 35

amounts of a toxic substance produce immunity to its toxicity
over the long term.

Similarly, what might seem like the "safe" thing to do in
the short term could put a person at great risk in the longer
term.

Changing frame size has to do with the breadth or width of
the perspective we are taking, as distinct from the particular
outcome we are considering with respect to that frame. A
good literal illustration of changing frame size can be seen in
the movie Cabaret. One scene in the film begins with a close
up of the face of an angelic looking young boy who is singing
in a beautiful voice. The image appears sweet and whole-
some. As the camera begins to pan back, however, we see
that the boy is wearing a military uniform. Next, we see that
he is wearing an arm band containing a swastika. As the
frame size gets larger and larger, we eventually see that the
boy is singing at a huge Nazi rally. The meaning and feeling
conveyed by the image is completely changed by the informa-
tion coming from the changes in the frame size of the image.

Similar shifts can be made through the use of language.
Phrases such as, "looking at the situation from the big
picture," "considering the long term implications," or "for
generations to come," can directly influence the frame size
we are applying to perceive a situation, event or outcome.
Frame size can also be changed by adding or including words
that presuppose a larger frame. Saying something like "four
score and ten years ago," or "for a hundred years to come,"
will naturally trigger people to think in terms of a particular
time frame.

Consider the changes in frame size utilized in the follow-
ing set of riddles, from a traditional Scottish lullaby:

I gave my love a cherry that had no stone.
I gave my love a chicken that had no bone.
I gave my love a baby that's not crying.

36 SLEIGHT OF MOUTH

How can you have a cherry that has no stone?
How can you have a chicken that has no bone?
How can you have a baby that's not crying?

When a cherry is a blossom, it has no stone.
A chicken that's an egg, has no bone.
A baby when its sleeping is not crying.

The solution to the first two riddles requires that we widen
our frame of perception to the larger life cycle of a cherry or a
chicken. The solution to the third riddle requires that we go
the other direction, and narrow our perception to particular
time periods in the baby's daily cycle. The terms "blossom,"
"egg" and "sleeping" bring us naturally to this shift in
perception.

The size of the frame we are considering determines a
great deal about the meaning and significance we are able to
perceive, and can be an extremely important issue with
respect to effective problem solving.

Try this pattern out for yourself using the following steps:

1. Think of a situation that you judge as difficult, disap-
pointing or painful in some way.

Situation: . .

2. What is the current frame from which you are viewing
that situation? (i.e., immediate results, long term conse-
quences, individual, group, community, past, future,
specific event, whole system, as an adult, as a child, etc.)

Current Frame: .

3. Change the frame size by widening it and narrowing it
to include more time, a larger number of people, a larger
system, etc. Then, narrow it to focus on just a specific

F R A M E S AND REFRAMLNG 37

individual, a limited time frame, a single event, etc.
Notice how this shifts the perceptions you have and
evaluations you make with respect to that situation.
Something that seems to be a failure in the short term
often becomes seen as a necessary step to success in the
longer term. (Realizing that your own struggles are
something that everyone goes through at some time, for
instance, can help make them feel less overwhelming.)

4. What is a longer (or shorter) time frame, a larger
number or smaller number of people, or a bigger or
smaller perspective that would change the judgment or
generalization you are making about the situation to be
something more positive?

New Frame:

The Sleight of Mouth patterns of Changing Frame Size
and shifting to Another Outcome are examples of what are
known as context and content refraining in NLP.

38 SLEIGHT OF MOUTH

Context Refraining

Context refraining has to do with the fact that a particular
experience, behavior or event will have different implications
and consequences depending on the context in which it
occurs. Rain, for example, will be perceived as an extremely
positive event to a group of people who have been suffering
from a severe drought, but as a negative event for a group of
people who are in the midst of a flood, or who have planned
an outdoor wedding. The rain itself is neither "good" nor
"bad." The judgment related to it has to do with the
consequence it produces within a particular context.

According to Leslie Cameron-Bandler (1978, p. 131) con-
textual reframing in NLP ''accepts all behaviors as useful in
some context." The purpose of contextual reframing is to
change a person's negative internal response to a particular
behavior by realizing the usefulness of the behavior in some
contexts. This allows us to see the behavior as simply "a
behavior" (like the rain) and shift our attention to addressing
the issues related to the larger context (i.e., instead of
cursing the rain when we are flooded, we learn to focus on
creating more effective drainage systems).

As an example, let's say a mother is distraught because
her teenage son is constantly getting into fights at school. A
context reframe would involve saying something like, "Isn't it
nice to know that your son could protect his little sister if
anyone bothered her on the way home from school?" This can
help her to shift her perception of her son's behavior and
view it in a broader perspective. Rather than being outraged
and ashamed, the mother may be able to appreciate her son's
behavior as useful in a particular context, and thus respond
in a more constructive way.

Negative responses often serve to maintain and even
escalate problematic behaviors, rather than extinguish them.
Blame frequently produces a type of "polarity response"



































































72 SLEIGHT OF MOUTH

Personal Life Experiences
Nature: Animals, Seasons, Plants, Geology, Geography etc.
Folk Tales
Science Fiction
Sports

e.g., "My grandfather taught me how to drive. He told me
that I could drive quite safely looking only in the rear
view mirror, providing the road ahead is exactly the
same as the road behind."

5. Rotate until each player has been in the A role.

CHUNKING 73

Punctuation and Repunctuation

The various forms of chunking (up, down and laterally)
provide a powerful set of linguistic tools to help us to enrich,
reframe, and "re-punctuate" our maps of the world. Different
"punctuations" of our perception of the world allow us to
create different meanings of the same experience. For ex-
ample, in the use of written language, we punctuate a series
of words in different ways; as a question, statement or
demand. The commas, exclamation points and question marks
allow us to know which meaning is implied. A similar action
occurs in the organization of our experience.

Punctuation is defined in the dictionary as "the act or
practice of inserting standardized marks or signs to clarify
the meaning and separate structural units." In NLP, the
term "punctuation" is used to refer to how an individual
chunks an experience into meaningful units of perception.
This type of cognitive punctuation functions analogously to
the way linguistic punctuation operates in written and spo-
ken language.

Consider for a moment the following words:

that that is is that that is not is not is not that it it is

At first glance, these words seem like gibberish. They have
no meaning. But notice how your experience of them changes
if they are punctuated in the following manner:

That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is not that it? It is!

Suddenly, there is at least some meaning to them. The
punctuation, which is on a different level than the words
themselves, organizes and 'frames' them in a way that shifts
our perception of them.

74 SLEIGHT OF MOUTH

The words could be punctuated in other ways as well.
Compare the previous punctuation with the following ex-
amples:

That! That is. Is that? That is not, is not, is not! That it? It is.

That? That is!
Is that that?
Is not!
Is!
Not!
Is!
Not that!
It, it is.

The content of our experience is like the first string of
words. It is relatively neutral and even void of any real
meaning. Cognitive processes, such as chunking, time per-
ception, and representational channels, determine where we
place our mental and emotional question marks, periods and
exclamation points. Our mental punctuation influences which
perceptions are clustered together, where our focus of atten-
tion is placed, what types of relationships are perceptible,
etc. For example, considering an event in terms of its 'long
term future' implications will give it a different significance
than evaluating it with respect to the 'short term past'.
Viewing a particular detail with respect to the "big picture" is
different than seeing it in relationship to other details.

People don't usually argue, become depressed, or kill each
other over the content of their experience and maps of the
world in and of itself. Rather, they fight over where to place
the exclamation points and question marks that give the
content different meanings.

For instance, take a piece of information like, "Profits were
down last quarter." A dreamer, realist and critic would

CHUNKING 75

perceive or 'punctuate' the exact same data in different ways,
based on different beliefs, values and expectations.

Critic: Profits were down last quarter. This is terrible!
We're ruined (exclamation point)!

Realist: Profits were down last quarter. We have had
difficult times in the past (commaj, what can we do to
make ourselves leaner'(question mark)?

Dreamer: Profits were down last quarter. It's just a bump
in the road (semi colon); we're past the most difficult
phase now. Things are bound to look up.

Sleight of Mouth is largely about how language leads us to
punctuate and rcpunctuate our maps of the world, and how
these punctuations give meaning to our experience.



Chapter 4

Values and
Criteria

7g SLEIGHT OF MOUTH

The Structure of Meaning

Meaning has to do with the intention or significance of a
message or experience. The term, from the Middle English
menen (Old English maenan), is akin to Old High German
meinen, which meant "to have in mind." Thus, meaning
relates to the inner representations or experiences that are
associated with external cues and events.

NLP processes and models, such as those characterized by
Sleight of Mouth, were developed to explore and discover
"how" we symbolize, signify or represent experiential data,
and how we interpret or give that data inner significance in
our maps of the world—in other words, how we make "mean-
ing." From the NLP perspective, meaning is a function of the
relationship between "map and territory." Different maps of
the world will produce different inner meanings for the same
experiential territory. The same incident or experience in the
external world will take on different meanings or significance to
different individuals, or different cultures, depending on
their internal maps. Having a lot of money, for instance, may
be looked upon as "success" for some people, but a "risk" or a
"burden" by others. As another example, belching, in an
Arabic culture, typically signifies, "thanks for the satisfying
meal." In other cultures, however, it may mean that the
person is suffering from indigestion, is unmannered, or rude.

All animals have the ability to create codes and maps of
the world and to give meaning to their experience of these
maps. Meaning is the natural consequence of interpreting
our experience. What meaning we make and how we make it
is connected with the richness and flexibility of our internal
representations of the world. A limited map of an experience
will most likely produce a limited meaning. NLP emphasizes
the importance of exploring different perspectives and levels
of experience in order to create the possibility of discovering
different potential meanings with respect to a situation or
experience.

VALUES AND CRITERIA 79

Because meaning is a function of our internal representa-
tions of our experience, altering those internal representa-
tions can alter the meaning an experience has for us. Sensory
representations constitute the 'deep structure' of our lan-
guage. Feeling "success" is a different experience than
visualizing it or talking about it. Shifting the color, tone,
intensity, amount of movement, etc., (the "submodality" quali-
ties) of internal representations can also alter the meaning
and impact of a particular experience.

Meaning is also greatly influenced by context- The same
communication or behavior will take on different meanings
in different contexts. We will respond differently if we see
someone apparently shot or stabbed on the stage of a theater,
than if we see the same behavior in the alley behind the
theater. Thus, perception of context and contextual cues is
an important aspect of the ability to make meaning of a
message or event.

The mental frames we place around our perception of a
situation, message, or event serves as a type of internally
generated context for our experience. Perceiving a situation
from a "problem frame," will focus our attention on certain
aspects of that situation, and attach different meanings to
events, than if we perceive the same situation from an "outcome
frame" or a "feedback versus failure frame." Assumptions about
the intent behind a behavior or communication also create a
type of frame that influences the way in which they are
interpreted. This is what makes the NLP processes of Framing
and Reframing such powerful tools with which to transform
the meaning of a situation or experience.

Another influence on meaning is the medium or channel
through which a message or experience is received or per-
ceived. A spoken word will trigger different types of meaning
than a visual symbol, a touch or a smell. Media theorist
Marshall McLuhan claimed that the medium through which
a particular message was transmitted had more impact on
how that message was received and interpreted than the
message itself.

80 SLEIGHT OF MOUTH

Thus, the way a person makes meaning of a communica-
tion is largely determined by the para-messages and meta
messages that accompany that communication. Non verbal
"meta messages" are like guides and markers on transmitted
messages which tell us how to interpret a message in order to
give it the appropriate meaning. The same words, said with
different intonation and voice stress patterns, will take on
different meaning {i.e., there is a difference between "No?",
"No.", and "No/").

One of the fundamental principles of NLP is that the
meaning of a communication, to the receiver, is the response it
elicits in that receiver, regardless of the intention of the
communicator. There is a classic example of a medieval
castle that was under siege by foreign troops. As the siege
went on, the people within the castle began to run out of food.
Determined not to give up, they decided to show their
defiance by putting every last bit of their food in a basket and
catapulting it over the wall at troops outside. When the
foreign soldiers, who were also getting low on supplies, saw the
food, they interpreted it to mean that the people in the castle
had so much food that they were throwing it at the soldiers to
taunt them. To the surprise of the people in the castle, the
troops, who had become disheartened by their interpretation
of the message, abruptly abandoned the siege and left.

Fundamentally, meaning is a product of our values and
beliefs. It relates to the question, "Why?" The messages,
events and experiences that we find most "meaningful" are
those which are most connected to our core values (safety,
survival, growth, etc.). Beliefs relating to cause-and-effect
and the connection between perceived events and our values
largely determine the meaning we give to those perceived
events. Altering beliefs and values can immediately change
the meaning of our life experiences. Sleight of Mouth
Patterns operate to shift the meaning of events and experi-
ences by updating or altering the values and beliefs associ-
ated with them.