Robert Dilts - Sleight of Mouth - The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

160 SLEIGITT OF MOUTH

For example, if a person wanted to strengthen his or her
belief in and commitment to the value of "health," the process
would start with the statement of that particular value:
"Health is important and desirable." Holding this value
statement constant, the individual would then go through
each connective to explore all of the supporting reasons.

In this case it would be important to begin each new
sentence prompted by the connective with the word "F\ This
helps to insure that the individual remains associated in the
experience and avoids merely making 'rationalizations'. Thus,
the series of new statements would be created in the follow-
ing manner:

Health is important and desirable,
because I

T H E BASIC STRUCTURE OF BELIEFS 161

An example of how someone would complete these sen-
tences might be:

Health is important and desirable because I need
strength and energy in order to create and survive.

Health is important and desirable therefore I will begin
the appropriate steps to take care of myself.

Health is important and desirable whenever I want to
be prepared for the future.

Health is important and desirable so that I can enjoy
myself and be a good role model for others.

Health is important and desirable if I want to be happy
and productive.

Health is important and desirable ^although I have
other goals and responsibilities to be fulfilled.

Health is important and desirable in the same way that
I need the necessary foundations and resources to reach
my dreams.

After finishing the new statements, it is interesting to read
each of the entries deleting the prompt words - with the
exception of "although". (It is important to retain the word
"although" or that particular response will appear negative.)
The series of responses can form a surprisingly coherent and
valuable statement of reasons to commit to the core value
that you have selected:

Health is important and desirable. I need strength and
energy in order to create and survive. I will begin the
appropriate steps to take care of myself I want to 6e
prepared for the future. I can enjoy myself and be a
good role model for others. I want to be happy and
productive. Although / have other goals and
responsibilities to be fulfilled, I need the necessary
foundations and resources to reach my dreams.

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As you can see, this creates a coherent set of ideas and
affirmations that can help to strengthen a person's commit-
ment to and belief in the value of health. The paragraph
defines elements of a pathway for expressing the value,
provides motivation, and even addresses possible objections.
Because the group of statements identify a multiplicity of
reasons (or causes) and puts them into words, it becomes a
powerful source of positive affirmations. It provides an
overall explanation justifying commitment to the value. It
also provides a rich source of ideas for addressing doubts.

Try this process on one of your own values by going
through the following steps, and referring to the Values
Audit Worksheet.

1. Identify a core value that is important for you to
establish or strengthen. Write down the value you want
to strengthen in the space marked "Value' below to
complete the value statement.

2. For each of the 'prompt' words, read your value state-
ment, add the prompt word(s), and complete the sen-
tence with whatever 'spontaneously' comes to mind.

3. When you are finished, read your answers all together
and notice what has changed and been strengthened.

T H E BASIC STRUCTURE OF BELIEFS 163

Values Audit Worksheet

Value: is important and desirable.

What is a core value that is important for you to establish

or strengthen?

because I .

Why is it desirable and appropriate to have this as a value?

therefore I .

What is a behavioral consequence of having this value?

whenever I ,

What Is a key situation or condition relating to this value?

so that I . ,

What is the positive purpose of this value?

^although I ,

Wfiat alternatives or constraints are there with respect to

this value?

if i

What constraints or results relate to this value?

in the same way that I .
What is a similar value that you already have?

After you have finished filling in each statement, read
each of the entries, deleting the prompt words and beginning
with the word "I" (the exception is the word "although"; it is
important to retain the word "although" or that particular
response will appear negative.)

164 SLEIGHT OF MOUTH

Belief Audit

The "auditing" process, using linguistic connectives, can be
applied to strengthen other beliefs as well, by establishing
"beliefs about beliefs." These can serve as additional justifi-
cations and support to have confidence in a particular belief

As an example, let's say a person has doubts about
whether he or she deserves to be healthy and attractive.
Applying the Behef Audit process would involve repeating
this belief and adding different connectives to the end of the
statement. Filling in the blank created by adding the
connectives serves to create links between that belief and
other beliefs and experiences, and 'reframe' possible interfer-
ences.

Try it out using the following procedure.

•Belief Audit* Procedure

1. Identify a belief that you need in order to achieve a
desired outcome, but about which you have some doubt
(refer to the Belief Assessment Sheet in Chapter 5).
Write down the belief you want to strengthen in the
space marked 'Belief below.

2. For each of the 'prompt' words below, repeat the sen-
tence expressing the belief. Then add the prompt word(s)
and complete the sentence with whatever 'spontane-
ously* comes to mind.

3. When you are finished, read your answers all together
and notice what has changed and what has been
strengthened.

Belief:

T H E BASIC STRUCTURE OF BELIEFS 165

because I/you .

Why is it (are you) desirable Ipossible I appropriate (ca-

pable I deserving I responsible) to reach the outcome?

therefore I/you
What is an effect or requirement of this belief?

after I/you .

What has to happen to support this belief?

while I/you
What else is going on concurrently with this belief?

whenever I/you
What is a key condition relating to the belief?

so that I/you
What is the intention of this belief?

if I/you .
What constraints or results relate to this belief?

"a/though I/you
What alternatives or constraints are there to this belief?

in the same way that 1/you .

What is a similar belief that you already have?

As you try this process with one of your own beliefs, you will
realize that some of the prompts are easier to respond to than
others. You may also find that it is easier or more appropriate to
respond to the prompts in a different order than they are listed.
Of course you can feel free to answer the prompts in the order
that feels most natural and comfortable for you or your group,
and it is okay to leave some of the prompts blank. You will find.
however, that the prompts which seem most difficult to answer
often lead to some of the most surprising and insightful results.

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Auditing a Belief From a Different Perspective

Sometimes it is difficult or unfruitful to audit a belief from
your own perspective. In fact, doubts often arise because we
are stuck in our point of view and cannot see any other
choices.

Another way to use the Belief Audit process is to do it
while considering the vision and belief from the shoes of
another person, or 'mentor'. This can open up new 'percep-
tual space' and help to remove unconscious blocks to creativ-
ity. It can also help you to find unconscious or unnecessary
assumptions.

This form of the Belief Audit can be done by identifying a
person, either actual or hypothetical, who does have full
confidence in the particular belief you have doubts about.
Then you, or a partner, can step into the shoes of that person
and 'role play'his or her responses to the various prompts. To
facilitate the role play, you would want to use the word "you"
instead of T when initially responding to the prompts.

lb test the influence of the other perspective on your own
confidence level, you can then repeat the responses gener-
ated by the other perspective substituting the word "I" for
"You". It often helps to have another person read the
responses to you first, so you can get a sense of the statement
from both perspectives.

For example, if the statement generated from the role-
played perspective is "You deserve to be healthy and attrac-
tive because You are a precious product of nature," you would
repeat the response in first person. That is, you would say, "1
deserve to be healthy and attractive because I am a precious
product of nature."

T H E BASIC STRUCTURE OF BELIEFS ig7

Using Counter Examples to Reevaluate
Limiting Beliefs

The Values Audit and Belief Audit apply principles of NLP
and Sleight of Mouth in order to help us become more open to
believe in our goals, our values, our capabilities and our-
selves. They are simple but powerful processes that help us
to establish new and empowering beliefs.

There are times, however, where we may encounter inter-
ference from limiting beliefs. In such situations, it is also
important to have tools to help us become open to doubt those
generalizations or judgments that limit us. Processes such
as finding the intention, chunking down, chunking up, find-
ing analogies, and identifying higher level criteria offer
several methods softening and reframing limiting beliefs.
Another very powerful pattern, that works with the struc-
ture of beliefs, is to identify "counter examples" to the beliefs.

A counter example is an example, experience, or piece of
information, which does not fit a particular generalization
about the world. Counter examples are essentially exceptions
to a rule. For example, a person may say that "all Masai are
cattle thieves," stating a generalization about a group of
people, lb challenge this representation, we would search for
any examples which do not fit that generalization - perhaps
a time when a Masai returned a missing cow to someone.

Finding counter examples is a simple but powerful way to
evaluate and challenge potentially limiting beliefs, and to
deepen our understanding of other beliefs. Counter ex-
amples do not necessarily disprove a belief statement, but
they do challenge its 'universality', and frequently put it in a
broader perspective. (In Chapter 4, for instance, we used
counter examples to identify hierarchies of criteria.) As was
mentioned earlier, beliefs and criticisms become limiting
when they are stated as 'universals'; characterized by Ian-

168 SLEIGHT OF MOUTH

guage such as "all," "every," "always," "never," "none," "no
one," etc. It is different to say, "I am not succeeding because I
lack the necessary experience," than to say, "I'll never suc-
ceed because I lack the necessary experience." Similarly,
there are different implications and expectations connected
with the statement, "I am sick because I have cancer," than
the statement, "I will always be sick because I have cancer."
Beliefs stated as universals frequently have more impact on
our expectations and motivation.

For a statement to be truly universal, of course, we should
find no counter examples. With respect to Sleight of Mouth,
establishing a counter example involves finding an example
that does not fit the cause-effect or complex equivalence
statements which make up a belief or belief system, and
which shifts and enriches our perception of the generaliza-
tion or judgment being asserted. So, if someone claims, "All
employees are mistrustful of their bosses," then we would
seek any examples of employees who trusted their bosses. We
should also find out if there are bosses who are mistrusted by
people other than their employees.

Finding a counter example, by the way, does not mean that
a belief statement is 'wrong', it generally means that the
system or phenomenon that is being explored or studied is
more complex than it has been perceived to be, or that its
most fundamental elements have not yet been discovered.
This opens up the potential for other perspectives and
possibilities.

As we have already established, the structure of belief
statements typically takes the form of either:

A means B (complex equivalent): e.g.. Frowning means
you are unhappy.

or

C causes D (cause-effect): e.g.. Allergens cause allergies.