BBC Top Gear - 01 March 2022

BMW i4 vs POLESTAR 2... IN THE BIG BATTLE OF THE ELECTRIC EXECS

MARCH 2022

TEARAWAY TOYOTAS!
NEW GR86 DRIVEN
+ GR YARIS
GETS SOME
EXTRA GRRR

GORDON £5.50
MURRAY’S
NEW T.33
THE PERFECT
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Spelunkers: Incomparable.
Indomitable Unpronounceable.

Let’s hear it for the ‘spelunkers’. The subterranean explorers of the
1970s who did for caving what Mallory did for mountaineering. And
the inspiration behind ‘GMT-explorer’ watches, which provided 24-
hour timekeeping for light-starved cavers. Now we’ve resurrected
the genre with the new C63 Sealander GMT. Not only does it boast
a twin timezone movement, a hi-vis 24-hour hand and a dial that’s
as legible as it is beautiful, but, happily, you don’t have to be a
spelunker to wear one.

Sealander.
Go anywhere, do everything.

christopherward.com

Editor GET YOUR FIX

@jack _ rix There’s more than one way to
[email protected] consume the world’s best car content

I ’m becoming desensitised to silly prices for new cars. When did the lunacy of £60k RS3s, MAGAZINE
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It’s time to show your appreciation for depreciation and get stuck in, because something entertainment
and advice
struck me as I stood in the photo studio, surrounded by all our secondhand superheroes.
YOUTUBE
You could own every single one of our picks for the price of just one £1.37m GMA T.33
Subscribe to
(page 76), and have almost enough change left over to buy the Turbo Study by Singer (p12).
the TopGear
That’s not a swipe at Gordon Murray you understand, the man is a stone-cold genius
to watch the
and the sooner Elon hooks up his Neuralink prongs and downloads Gordon’s brain for future best car videos

generations to enjoy too, the better. But just look at the sheer variety we brought along on the planet

(p51) – there’s no driving situation that you wouldn’t have covered with this lot. Need @topgear
facebook.com/topgear
large amounts of military equipment moved across some particularly boggy terrain? Bring @BBC_TopGear

in the ex-Singapore army Unimog. Want to drown yourself in pure, unfiltered Italian V8?

Forget just four-doors, the Maserati Quattroporte

“SCRAPE TOGETHER Sport GTS could be one of the best-sounding cars ever.
You’ve got an MP4-12C for sunny weekends, an i3

for zapping to the shops, an RS6 for carting kids and

YOUR PENNIES dogs, an NSX and a Cayman for reconnecting with
what driving fun really feels like, and a VW California
for sleeping in when you lock yourself out of the

AND PULL ON YOUR house. The possibilities are endless, the depth of
BRAVE PANTS” talent in your new 21-car garage unfathomable. So
scrape together your pennies and pull on your brave
pants, it’s time to buy an exciting used car for the
price of a boring new one.

Enjoy the issue,

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 007

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008 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

i4THE

ALL-ELECTRIC. BMW i4

SALOON
OF THE YEAR

Search: BMW i4

Mpg (l/100km): Not applicable. CO2 emissions: 0 g/km. Electric energy consumption for BMW i4 model range (combined): 22.5 to 16.1 kWh/100Km / 2.8- 3.9 miles/kWh. The i4 electric
range 258 – 365 miles. These figures were obtained after the battery had been fully charged. The i4 is a battery electric vehicle requiring mains electricity for charging. Figures shown
are for comparability purposes. Only compare electric range figures with other cars tested to the same technical procedures. These figures may not reflect real life driving results,
which will depend upon a number of factors including the starting charge of the battery, accessories fitted (post-registration), variations in weather, driving styles and vehicle load.

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CONTENTS

ISSUE 357 / MARCH 2022

086
076

098
104

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 011

#NEWCARS #ENTERTAINMENT # C A R C U LT U R E

012 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

#CELEBRITY #GADGETS #GAMING

E VERYONE IS TALK ING ABOUT

THE TURBO
STUDY

Singer, everyone’s favourite Porsche restorer, is back
with another restomod that, if you’re anything
like us, will leave your jaw on the floor

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 013

Period-appropriate restoration
includes beige interior. Sorry,
‘Malibu Sand’ interior

A legend. Reimagined. You know 911), opening up the type of use the tucking the intercoolers out of sight and
what that whale tail spoiler car might be best suited for. Want an resulting in possibly the most glamorous
represents, what you’re looking all-weather weapon? Michelin all season engine bay we’ve ever seen.
at here, but let’s savour these tyres are an option, there’s electric heated
words. This, ladies and gentleman, is the seats, inductive phone charging, a sunroof, And we can’t overlook the cabin. From
Turbo Study, Singer’s latest celebration fitted luggage and aircon. Or go rear-drive the square-bolstered seats to the three-
of the Porsche 911. stripped out with carbon seats and full spoke steering wheel, it’s minimalist
lightweighting. Do that and you can lose Porsche perfection. And yeah, that’s a
Harking back to the original Porsche 100kg from the 1,270kg kerbweight. turbo boost gauge in the rev counter.
911 Turbo of 1975, it’s based, like all of
Singer’s restorations, on the chassis from The Turbo Study has been two years There are reservations for 70 cars, with
a later 964 car. It uses the same 3.8-litre in the planning. Considerably wider now, this, the first, finished in Wolf Blue with a
air-cooled Mezger flat-six, but adds on a Rob and his team have focused on stance, Malibu Sand interior. Unlike the DLS
pair of the BorgWarner turbos from the ensuring the wheels filled out the rear project it’s not a limited run, but sits
latest 992-generation 911, plus electric arches, and then setting about the most alongside Singer’s regular restored Porsche
wastegates and air-to-water cooling. defining component of the whole car: the 911s. Which means it’s probably not as
Power? Upwards of 450bhp, with over legendary spoiler. “We approached the expensive as you feared. But it’s still
400lb ft of torque. whole car with a certain amount of expensive at $750,000 (£557,000) plus tax.
caution, but especially the exquisite Production is likely to start towards the
Crucial question: did Singer consider whale tail because, for me, it’s one of end of this year. And no, 2022 is unlikely
engineering in lag to give the Turbo a real the nicest bits of Porsche design ever. to throw up anything cooler. Ollie Marriage
old school vibe? “It’s been an internal We’ve leaned on our aero learnings from
debate,” founder Rob Dickinson tells me. the DLS project, so it’s a little bit longer “IT’S NOT A CHASE FOR
“We’ve had clients asking for it. But we and higher. It’s not about downforce
need to shoot for the best, so no, it’s not though, rock solid stability is the aim.” SOME KIND OF OLD
a chase for some kind of old school turbo.
It’s a chase to optimise turbocharging with Open the engine bay of an original SCHOOL TURBO”
some fresh perspectives and modern kit. and you’re confronted by an ugly great
But I think we have absolute control over intercooler, something Dickinson was
how much lag we have. So if somebody keen to do away with. Singer has gone to
wants it, we can probably dial some in.” predictable lengths to clean up the engine
aesthetics. Instead of intake air coming in
It’s six-speed manual only, but you on top of the spoiler, it’s taken from the
can choose rear- or four-wheel drive (the shark fin vents ahead of each rear wheel,
system is taken from the 993-generation

014 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

COFFEE BREAK IMAGE: MANUFACTURER FAIL OF THE CENTURY #12

What we’re watching/ VW PHAETON
listening/doing, while
we should be working T he Phaeton wasn’t a bad car. In fact, it was a gloriously
engineered masterpiece of a car. Conceived by VW boss
Space Force, Netflix Ferdinand Piëch as revenge on Mercedes for pinching Golf
Season 2 hits Netflix on 18 February. sales with its 1997 A-Class, the Phaeton was intended not only to be
classier than an S-Class, but a veritable quantum leap in the world of
Season one was a sleeper hit – understated luxury: the Veyron of comfort.
poking fun at the American military’s
Piëch defined a stack of insane engineering parameters, including
newest agency. Stars Steve Carell the ability to drive non-stop at 155mph for 24 hours in 50° heat while
and John Malkovich maintaining a 21° cabin temperature, raising the question of a) on
precisely which 4,500-mile stretch of derestricted desert road this
Six Nations, 5 Feb–19 March might prove useful and b) what one was supposed to do for fuel.
Let the ball see the scrum. Another parameter demanded hidden, silent air conditioning vents,
because there’s nothing plutocrats hate more than noisy air.
Let the fly-halves see the hookers.
Let the cauliflower see the ear. Thanks in no small part to a reported $1.4 billion development
It’s that time of year again, budget, the engineering team delivered on Piëch’s exacting demands.
the Six Nations is back. Can On release in 2002, the Phaeton was heralded by the world’s media
Italy surprise the rest? No as a triumph. Quantum leap, achieved.

Kebab on the Night Bus There was, however, just one teeny tiny problem Piëch had failed
This Apple Music playlist reeks of to foresee: absolutely no one actually wanted to buy a money no
Noughties nostalgia. Makes you want to object luxury limousine with a Volkswagen badge on the front.
jump on the N19 to pick up a shish and cry Sales were catastrophic. The Phaeton was quietly
euthanised, the best-engineered failure in history.
Winter Olympics, 4–20 Feb
Beijing plays host to both the ›T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 015

Winter Olympic and Paralympic
Games this month. The motto is
“A pure passion for ice and snow”,
exactly the kind of gee-up you
need for a bit of monobob (we
have no idea what that is either)

TopGear TV, BBC iPlayer
Don’t forget that ALL of TopGear telly

is ready and waiting on iPlayer

CAR NEWS T he GRMN badge is back on a hot 10mm lower, while there’s a new mechanical
Yaris, but there’s bad news – Toyota’s LSD and strengthened gearbox with close
EXTRA building 500 examples of this “fully ratio gears up to fourth.
GRRRR tuned” GR Yaris and they will only be
available in Japan via a reservation lottery. There are option packs available, with
“Fully tuned” version of choices limited to the Circuit Package or
GR Yaris is for Japanese We really are disappointed it won’t make Rally Package. The former will be limited to
market only. Boo, hiss, etc it to the UK. The GR’s feisty 1.6 3cyl turbo 50 examples, which get a carbon rear wing,
hasn’t been touched, so it’s still making the spikier bodykit, bespoke BBS 18in wheels,
268bhp that’s standard in Japan, but Toyota 18in brakes and adjustable Bilstein shocks.
says the GRMN has “gone through rigorous The latter gets a Gazoo Racing suspension
refinement with professional drivers”. set-up, underbody protection and a roll bar.

The rear bench seat has been removed The reservation lottery is already open in
to save 20kg, replaced by a chunky cross Japan, with prices starting around £47,000.
brace to improve rigidity and helped by Can you feel our jealousy? Greg Potts
545 new spot welds and 12 extra metres
of ‘structural adhesive’ on top of the
standard car’s 35.4m.

There are hardcore Recaro bucket seats,
plus a carbon-fibre bonnet to match the roof
and a 10mm wider track for better aero.
New suspension means the GRMN sits

YOU CAN’T BUY TASTE

BMW 240i

016 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

#1 DRIVING ON ICE

Extreme E driver, TV presenter and British rallying
star Catie Munnings shares some driving wisdom

THE ROUND, BLACK THINGS REAR-WHEEL DRIVE IS CHEATING

This one was pretty apparent as I was hurtling down the long I worked as an instructor in the Arctic for a couple of seasons...
straight of the GP ice race in a factory Bentley Continental GT3 we saw it all! With RWD, the power oversteer that people pick
with skis tied to the roof running on wide 2mm studded tyres. It up quickly is huge fun, but isn’t real driving skill. The joy starts
turns out 2mm studs on the tyres weren’t enough, and a narrower when you play with weight balance and get the car to slide under
choice of tyre would have been ‘optimum’. To say less grip is braking as you throw the weight to the front which releases the
more fun has a limit, and I think I found it in the braking zone rear wheels to ‘dance’ on the ice. My advice would be start with
to Turn 1. Top tip: Choose a narrow tyre, with huge ice studs. a front-wheel-drive car – it’ll teach you all you need to know.

LESS STEERING, MORE PEDAL EYES ON THE LINES

The true art of driving comes when you control the car’s direction One of the easiest ways to improve your skills behind the wheel
with the pedals, not the wheel. When you accelerate, the weight is to lift your eye line, look as far ahead as you can see and your
and force goes to the rear wheels, when you brake they go to body will do what it needs to do to get the car there. You have to
the front. Picture a slalom – get into the feeling of accelerating remember actions take longer on ice, so you need to make the
between the corners so you’re moving fast enough to break moves earlier. When you have a narrow range of vision, you’re
into a slide when you lift off. You’ll find the steering angle is always a step behind, reacting rather than preparing. As with
minimal, but the slide is effortless. Hello lift off oversteer. all things in life, look ahead and things are less of a surprise!

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 017

WAT C H E S W hen Edmund Hillary got to the top of Everest in 1953 he spent about a quarter
of an hour scouring the surrounding mountainscapes for other places to climb.
THE Before beginning the descent, he declined to have his photo taken. Imagine that
TOUGH now... Tenzing Norgay did pose for a picture, but only because Hillary wanted to document
STUFF the feat, not because the Sherpa thought he looked awesome with an ice pick. Both men
became celebrities, but this wasn’t what they were looking for – they just wanted to climb.
People go on expeditions, but watches
help them to stay on course and on time Others wanted as much publicity from the expedition as possible. Behind the scenes,
two companies were working very hard to be seen as the watchmaker that helped conquer
the world’s highest mountain. In the Swiss corner was Rolex; in the British corner was S.
Smith & Sons – later Smiths – a company that started as a watch- and clockmaker in 1851,
and diversified into making instruments for cars, boats and planes.

Rolex was one of the first brands to fully understand the power of advertising. From
the Twenties it took out newspaper ads showing watches surviving cross-Channel swims
and land speed records. The Everest attempt was right up Rolex’s street and it kitted out
Hillary’s team with watches and made sure as many people as possible knew about it.

Rolex was streets ahead in the publicity game, but Smiths did at least have some home
advantage. The British expedition was keen to use as much home-grown equipment as
possible, and Smiths provided watches and also offered altimeters and oxygen gauges. Both
Rolex and Smiths watches went on the expedition, but they were shared among the 15-man
team. The question is, which watches made it to the summit with Hillary and Tenzing?

Rolex adverts were careful to say that they supplied watches to the expedition, rather
than that they were worn to the summit. A Smiths advert was more direct, quoting Hillary
as saying: “I carried your watch to the summit. It worked perfectly.”

Whatever the truth of who wore what on a chilly mountain, the real winner is clear.
Rolex is the best known watch brand in the world, while Smiths stopped making watches in
the Seventies. Don’t feel too bad for the plucky Brit, though; it pivoted to other parts of the
business and now exists as an engineering giant making everything from medical scanners
to fuel lines for aircraft. Richard Holt

018 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

ABOUT
£1K

LUMINOX ATACAMA FIELD
Things don’t get much chillier than the life of an Icelandic
search-and-rescue officer, or tougher than the life of a US
Navy Seal, but those are just two of the groups supplied by
Luminox. Water resistant to 200 metres, with a screw-in case
back and screw-down crown. Luminescent markings glow

for up to 25 years. £1,055; luminox.com

UNDER
£700

SUUNTO 9 PEAK
This slender number from the Finnish sports instrument maker
Suunto is about as clever as watches get. It comes with built-in
altimeter, plus comprehensive sleep and activity trackers. Neat

3D map function allows you to see tricky mountain terrain
ahead. The 43mm grade 5 titanium case is water resistant to

100m. Battery life of up to 14 days. £629; suunto.com

BLOW UNDER
THE £150

BUDGET TIMEX EXPEDITION
As a no-nonsense piece of kit you can’t get much better
ROLEX EXPLORER than this. It has luminescent hands for murky conditions.
The watch given to the Everest party was an Oyster Perpetual, a forerunner to the And it will never run out of battery, with a solar powered
movement that can go up to four months without seeing
Explorer, a mainstay of the Rolex range almost 70 years on. The watch makes a the light. Recycled fabric strap and 41mm stainless steel
stylish statement, but cuts a relatively modest figure. The latest generation has
a case size of just 36mm (down from 39mm). The new-gen Explorer has Rolex’s case. Water resistant to 100m. £145; Timex.com
Calibre 3230 self-winding movement. The Oyster case is guaranteed waterproof

to 100 metres. The case is cut from a solid block of Oystersteel – a corrosion-
resistant alloy. Caseback is hermetically screwed down with a special tool that
allows only Rolex watchmakers to access the movement. From £5,700; Rolex.com

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 019

GAME OF THE MONTH THE KNOWLEDGE

GEAR Need-to-know nuggets
of automotive news
NIKE AIR ZOOM
ALPHAFLY NEXT% DEFENDER GOES SOFT

Dutch coachbuilder Niels van Roij
is making a soft-top Land Rover
Defender. There are three versions
to choose from: Côte d’Azur, Solihull
Sand and Kokkini Paralia, and just

five will be built at £115k each

GRRRR GT3 CONCEPT

Toyota is playing it very coy, but this
concept racecar could be set to

spearhead the firm’s GT3 effort. We
should see a working prototype by
the end of the year. Sadly it doesn’t
seem like a road car is on the cards

ROSSI UNRETIRES

The motorbike star hasn’t taken to
retirement well – he’s signed up to

drive an Audi R8 in the GT World
Challenge Europe GT3 series.
Valentino’s tested Ferrari F1 cars
a few times, so he should be fine

NOBLE ART

Noble’s revealed new pics of its
‘junior’ supercar – the M500. Deliveries

of the 550bhp beast are set to begin
later this year, with the car costing
around £150,000. Excitingly, it’s got
a six-speed open-gate manual

020 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

TOPGEAR TOP 9

SLIPPERY LOW-DRAG CARS

01 02 03

04 05 06

07 08 09

IMAGES: MANUFACTURER T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 021

CAR NEWS 2 BIGGER TURBOS = MORE EVERYTHING

5 THINGS YOU NEED Bigger turbos set off an engineering chain
TO KNOW ABOUT THE. . reaction that includes a bigger grille for
more cooling, a new wet clutch version of the
ASTON MARTIN nine-speed gearbox, 23in wheels and carbon
DBX707 ceramic brakes, launch control, uprated
suspension and a rear diffuser that looks like
Some fascinating facts on Aston’s you’ve just run over Daffy Duck beak first.
entry into the super-SUV arms race
3 THE SCHOOL RUN JUST GOT FASTER
1 IT HAS ALL THE BEANS
A huge 707 metric horsepower = 697 imperial The age of the 200mph SUV is not far away.
horses. Another 155bhp over the standard The DBX707 claims 193mph, putting it ahead
version. When rumours of this car emerged of the Bentley Bentayga W12 Speed and
we wondered if it had the 715bhp V12 from the Lamborghini Urus (both 190mph). The other
DBS Superleggera. But no, it’s the regular DBX claim is 0–62mph in 3.3 seconds, which is
4.0-litre twin-turbo V8. With bigger turbos. 1.2secs faster than the regular car. This
is a deeply fast SUV.

4 IT’LL COST ABOUT £30K MORE
THAN THE ‘STANDARD’ DBX

Despite the toothier grille, the 707 still has elegance
on its side. It’s a handsome thing and inside a new
rotary controller makes the drive modes more
accessible. Cost? A cool £189,000, meaning the
DBX707 feels less like an extreme performance
model and more like the version you actually want.

5 DON’T MENTION THE OBVIOUS...

There’s an elephant lurking. Is a faster DBX rather than
a hybrid really what Aston needs now? It probably is
actually. Buyers for this aren’t coming from markets
that are currently wringing their hands over climate
change. And in that context, the bolt-on-bigger-
turbos DBX707 looks like an easy win for quick sales.

WORDS: OLLIE MARRIAGE

Just imagine how quickly
you’ll be able to get the
kids to ballet in this...

022 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

Discover a Selection of Premium Self-Care and Beauty Brands,
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THIS MONTH:

MARQUES BROWNLEE HOME ON THE RANGE
Being a small car without
HARD a dedicated electric
DRIVE platform it doesn’t have
a huge battery: just a
We download YouTube’s #1 tech expert on 33kWh unit and only
whatever he’s been driving this month 29kWh of that is usable.
On the US-spec test it
024 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M manages a maximum
range of 110 miles, and is
trounced by something
like the 42kWh Fiat 500.

O ften with electric cars we’re talking about a
completely new design from a fresh faced start-up,
but the Mini Electric (which for some reason is
badged the Cooper SE on my side of the Atlantic and
actually everywhere else in the world except the UK)
comes with so much heritage behind it that there’s
actually a whole heap of pressure on this car.

That’s probably why Mini played it so safe with the
design and the platform – this isn’t a clean sheet EV, it’s
a standard three-door Mini Hatch with an electric motor
and a small T-shaped battery pack stuck under the rear
seats and in the old transmission tunnel.

It’s a Mini Cooper S, but electric. That means all the
things that people love about the standard Mini should
still be here on this car – the updated retro looks, the
‘go-kart’ handling and a posh interior. BMW hasn’t been
able to build combustion-engined Minis quick enough
since it brought the shape back in 2000. It’ll be hoping the
Electric can pick up that popularity, especially since it has
announced plans for the Mini brand to go EV-only by 2030.

DOPE TECH

MB’S FAVOURITE FEATURE

The top spec 8.8-inch
infotainment screen is
housed inside a central

CLOCK’S TICKING
The fastest charging speed
available in the Mini Electric is 50kW,
and that’s not really good enough
in 2022. The EV game has already
moved on, and this might date the
Mini quite quickly, particularly in the
used car market. Because it’s a
small battery, a full charge from
zero to 100 per cent does only take
around an hour at that speed, but
combined with a small battery
it’s enough to put you off.

DINKY BOOTS It’s very obvious that you’re VERDICT CONSUMER TECH
It’s not the fault of the driving a small car, but Considering its size and COMPARISON...
EV conversion, but there’s good visibility so the ICE platform it’s built DJI Mavic Air. A
rear seat space is you don’t feel cramped. on, I think Mini has done smaller, more niche
limited and the a pretty good job. The version of DJI’s bigger
211-litre boot just isn’t range will be an issue drones. You wish you
enough. A Zoe gets a for some, but around had more battery life,
better 335 litres. town it’s quick, agile, but it’s still a fantastic
silent and fun. piece of kit.

THE DRIVE:

THE TECH:

THE WANT:

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 025

TOPGEAR’S GUIDE TO THE FUTURE OF EVERYTHING

M Y T H R
BU S T E

“TRIP the battery meter will get you the same resulting figure will be almost exactly
COMPUTERS distance. (Speed up and the next 10 per the battery’s specified net capacity.
ARE REALLY cent will get you less far, slow down or go
INACCURATE” downhill and it’ll stretch. Which is why I The bad news: the mpkWh figure
never look at the range-to-go meter – it is less than the electricity you pay for.
NOW doesn’t know how conditions will change.) There’s usually about a 10 per cent loss in
the AC charging process. The trip computer
Combustion car average mpg readouts is showing you battery-to-wheel energy
are hopeless. Divide miles driven by fuel consumption, not grid-to-wheel. Mind
pumped in, and you’ll find them 10–15 per you, combustion cars suffer similar
cent optimistic. Whereas electric car miles unaccounted losses. In calculating your
per kWh readings are usually spot on. Zero input of petroleum, or output of CO2, you
the trip when you unplug, drive a full range, should use a well-to-wheel figure, not the
divide miles by the mpkWh readout and the tank-to-wheel number. Paul Horrell

EV UPDATE WHO KNOWS?

LATER

YOKE FOLK SPACE RACE KARMA CHAMELEON I MAG ES: G E T T Y, MAN U FACTU RER

Done with your yoke? Tesla tuner AutoFlight wants to launch its Bored of your paintjob? No drama – BMW
T Sportline will fix you up a looped Prosperity I air taxi in Europe in the is working on tech that’ll change the iX’s
next three years. Uber is so yesterday
yoke steering ‘wheel’. Ish colour at the press of a button

026 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

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Dealing with a petrol past and an electric future may
be the undoing of car companies, reckons Chris

ILLUSTRATION: PAUL RYDING Car companies have always been a turbulent mix of opinions Which one of these is the real BMW? Do the ‘mobility’ lemmings
and projected messages – that’s what makes them such fascinating from the electricity department sit opposite the people posting the
organisations. But I’ve never before seen them in the state of pictures of the M5 CS and drill them with icy, disapproving looks?
raw confusion they are now attempting to navigate. Most car Does the person from BMW Classic who seems to find the best
companies are now two companies, with one side openly in vintage sideways footage on Instagram saunter in an hour after
conflict with the other. They are schizophrenic. You have no everyone else reeking of booze and fags? I’d like to hope so.
idea which personality you will witness from one day to the next.
Car companies are, alongside clothing companies and the
The two personalities are easily identified. One is the old car broader media world, the ultimate social mirror. The story of the
company. It trades in oily bits and its balance sheet is logical and car is the story of society for the past 130 years, and as nations
it celebrates fun and is proud of its past. The other is the new car have now begun the arduous process of going back through their
company. It trades in electricity – its balance sheet makes no sense actions and codes, it’s only natural that carmakers are doing the
because it loses billions of dollars. It doesn’t want to promote same thing. The problem seems to be that when they trawl the
concepts of fun. It trades in ‘mobility’ and it is ashamed of its past. archives they find enormous quantities of really cool stuff that
people like watching.
Pity the poor management team that tries to control these two
companies that are perceived as being one organisation. Take The struggles for the electric car are so profound and – to
BMW, in the midst of a huge push to convince that electric cars me – insurmountable, that I really can’t see how the new electric
mustn’t just be hideously ugly – they will be the only way we will company side of each carmaker can be charged with striking out
survive the apocalypse. At the same time it is posting pictures of into the future. All of them are trying to find a voice, to create a new
its latest M5 CS eviscerating Michelins. And its Classic department image that in some way incorporates their past without opening
is posting endless, glorious images of its petrol burning past. themselves to accusations of ruining the planet for a century.

“MOST CAR COMPANIES And this is perhaps why Tesla is so clean a proposition.
ARE NOW TWO COMPANIES. Unencumbered by any murky past, it has a technological
THEY ARE SCHIZOPHRENIC” advantage and can write its own story as time progresses. Volvo
appears to have done the clever thing and diverted its future into
the Polestar brand. It looks as if the big existing brands waste so
much time trying to balance notions of the past and the future
that they allow smaller, faster moving organisations to sneak in
and steal market share. Not a nice problem to have.

Need more of the TopGear telly show in your life?

All episodes are now free to stream on BBC iPlayer

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 029



Car-sized millipedes? Don’t believe everything
you read, says TGTV script writer Sam Philip

ILLUSTRATION: PAUL RYDING “MILLIPEDES AS BIG AS CARS ONCE ROAMED NORTH less than a Smart Fortwo. OK, he was fractionally longer than
ENGLAND!” roared the newspaper headline. a Renault Twizy, making him “as big as a car” in the same way
that a Pomeranian is as big as a wolf.
Yes, in seismic news for fans of a) millipedes and
b) northern beach holidays, a team of researchers from the Of course, there’s more to size than length. And when you
University of Cambridge recently stumbled upon a huge fossil factor in Arthur’s other dimensions, it turns out... yeah, still
on Northumberland’s Howick Beach. Further investigation nowhere near car sized, sorry mate. At 55cm wide, Arthur was
revealed this be to a section of the largest ever example of a less than half the breadth of a Twizy, and barely quarter the width
giant, prehistoric, carnivorous millipede named Arthropleura. of that X7. Which means we can say with some scientific authority
This vast arthropod was quickly dubbed “the biggest bug ever that, while Arthropleura would have been a cinch to slot through
to exist” and “as big as a car”. To which, of course, the only even the narrowest of urban width restrictors, two abreast
appropriate obvious response is: as big as which car, exactly? seating would be have been quite a challenge (not least because it
was a bloodthirsty predator, and thus likely to messily devour you
Prepare for some number crunching. The fossilised section of before you had the chance to assess its handling characteristics).
Arthropleura – henceforth known as Arthur, obviously – measured
76cm in length, allowing the Cambridge researchers to deduce Kerbweight? No better, I’m afraid. At just 50kg (it’s unclear
that he clocked a precise 263cm from front to rear bumper. Which, whether dry or with fluids), Arthur was hardly a tenth the weight
while unquestionably chonky for a millipede, makes Arthur only of a Caterham Seven, though coincidentally boasted a similar level
half the length of a BMW X7 (and, despite being a nightmarish, of technological sophistication. You’d have to pile no fewer than
fang-faced worm-beast, only half as upsetting to look at). 50 Arthropleuras on the scales to balance out just one BMW X7.

True, there are smaller cars than the X7. But even against Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that being pursued across
less vast opponents, Arthur still comes up short: nearly a metre a northern beach by a 50kg carnivorous millipede would be
stumpier than a new Fiat 500; 36cm less than a Toyota iQ; 7cm anything less than terrifying (the Cambridge researchers didn’t
specify Arthur’s acceleration or top speed figures, but with all
“THEFOSSILISEDSECTIONOF those legs you have to assume he’ll have decent traction even
ARTHROPLEURA MEASURED in slippery conditions), but there’s no getting away from the
HALFTHELENGTHOFABMWX7” fact that Arthropleura wasn’t so much “as big as a car”, more
“as big as a really big millipede”. Always happy to help.

Sam Philip is the TopGear telly script editor, and a TG mag and
website regular for 15 years. Once wrote a Vauxhall Corsa joke
that Paddy McGuinness described as “not totally crap”

Need more of the TopGear telly show in your life?

All episodes are now free to stream on BBC iPlayer

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 031



How much choice do we really have when
speccing a car, ponders consultant editor Paul

ILLUSTRATION: PAUL RYDING Cyling through one of London’s hipsterish streets I see You used to be able to pick almost any combo of power, petrol
this, emblazoned in a cafe window: “Build-your-own or curated or diesel, auto or manual, two-wheel drive or four-wheel drive.
salad bowls.” Curated eh? What a word of our times, tiresomely A bewildering array even before you selected trims and
deployed as a fancy dress description for any old take-it-or-leave options one by one.
it combination. High-end carmakers have latched on. You go on
the configurator and you find you can’t actually choose what you But the build-your-own car is fading into history. Drivetrain
want, but are instead directed to a combination of black-over- choices are narrowing. The options menu has shortened. Now it’s
black with black wheels: ‘urban curated’. Or green-over-brown all about ‘packs’ or, at the sniffier end of the market, ‘curation’.
with chrome: ‘heritage curated’. My first impulse is to sneer. I If you want a hi-fi upgrade, you might find yourself saddled with
know about cars and I want to pick my own spec: blue paint, dark one of those ridiculously annoying powered tailgates.
tan cloth, no options except the brightest available headlights.
Some of this is about manufacturers navigating the WLTP
My second impulse is to try to be more generous. Maybe test rules. Certifying a car’s consumption and CO2 is a lengthier
their designers do know more than me. As a student I used to and more expensive process than it was, so they put up fewer
build my own salad bowls as a means to get max calories at min powertrains. Besides, each option that adds weight or drag
cost. I’d start with a stockade wall of breadsticks or carrot batons means a separate test. So they bundle the options.
to deepen the bowl, then layer up the densest material on the
buffet trolley. But nowadays I acknowledge the best person to Anyway, it costs them extra to build configurable cars. It’s
build a salad bowl is an actual chef, even if he insists on calling a colossal logistical challenge, keeping tabs on the parts, and
it a curation rather than a recipe. delivering them to the right point on the production line just as
the individual car arrives. It also adds purchasing cost, because
Anyway, we’d better get used to it. Once, choice was a dashboard supplier will charge extra if a small proportion of
a touchstone of the premium brands, from Mini upwards. them need to be moulded in red or blue plastic. So it stopped. Car
buyers loved the idea of being offered a red dash, but in the end
“CARBUYERSLOVEDTHEIDEAOFA they all bottled it and defaulted to black. Sorry, ‘urban curated’.
REDDASH,BUTTHEYALLBOTTLED
ITANDDEFAULTEDTOBLACK” Anyway, is choice per se really a route to happiness? Even in
the heyday of configuration, I always felt I couldn’t quite settle
on the car I wanted. FOMO and choice paralysis took hold. So
the experience felt like a bit of a let-down. In the end it’s often
better to be told what to have. Curation is a silly and pretentious
word, but I can get behind the idea.

TG’s eco-conscious megabrain, Paul Horrell, is one of the
world’s most respected and experienced car writers. Has
attended every significant car launch since the Model T

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 033

POLESTAR 2 BMW i4

£45,900/£58,800 as tested £51,905/£64,705 as tested

The big test:
electric executives

So you want to trade in your mid-size German saloon for a tax friendlier electric
car – do you go for the same again, or something a little more Scandinavian?

WORDS PAUL HORRELL PHOTOGRAPHY ALEX TAPLEY

034 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

VES

“C ompact executives”: this became in some recent months. Then came Polestar’s 2. gone the whole hog and bolted on a pair of
a common if rather ugly car-biz Which we prefer to the Tesla, even though we large-bore blank tailpipes.
term. It referred to the type of love the Silicon Valley machine’s face-bending
car, not to the 5’2” shiny suited performance and its access to Superchargers. Yet this 4-Series doppelgänger actually has a
middle-management person We just prefer the Polestar’s slightly more fluent substantially different floorpan and suspension
behind the wheel. During the past decade dynamics and its design, inside and out. So to make space for the battery and motor. Inside,
the likes of the 3-Series, C-Class and A4 ruled that’s what we’ve brought to meet the BMW i4. the i4 has a bigger screen and fewer buttons
the company car roost, first as diesels, then than a 4-Series.
PHEVs. But no electric equivalents have been We’ve been gagging for the i4. For decades
forthcoming. Which is surprising given the BMW’s 3 and related 4-Series have utterly The Polestar is also related to a combustion
importance of benefit-in-kind tax to the user bossed their rivals. So surely a battery powered car, the Volvo XC40. But like sussexroyal.com,
choosing executives (of whatever height) who version has to be catnip? Just to emphasise that it’s now got its own New Agey brand, separate
drive them. it’s a heartland BMW, not an outlier like the i3, from the fusty old Volvo establishment. Bits of
BMW has made it look just like the 4-Series the cabin are recognisably Volvo but most isn’t:
Tesla filled that gap with the Model 3, and Gran Coupe. It even gets the same grille, for the screen most obviously, which stands proud
it has outsold the Fiesta and Corsa in Britain which it has no earthly need. They could have of the dash and runs an Android-based system
under Polestar’s graphic skin.

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 035

“AREN’T PREMIUM PRODUCTS SUPPOSED
TO BE SLICK AND EFFORTLESS TO
USE, LIKE AN iPOD?”

036 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

01

02 The cars stood before us have closely matching easy to gently ease the power their way and balance
equipment and options, including full driver assist, things. The traction control is subtle, and it has a
03 pixel headlights, maxed-out infotainment, big wheels ‘dynamic’ setting. And a superfluous ‘off’.
and brakes and fancy dampers – adaptive on the BMW,
1 1. BMW widescreen so massive it Öhlins spanner-adjustable on the Polestar. This Polestar The Polestar is faster out of any bend, any
can house the entire Bayeux is a long-term test car that resides with my colleague weather. It’s grippy and steers precisely, asking
Tapestry, no problem Tom Ford. It’s the Long Range Dual Motor version, with little from you. But it’s a one-item menu. It has
2. You know what they say... three option packs (Plus, Pilot and Performance) and huge grip, then it understeers a bit. On wet roads,
big wheels, big brakes optional snow white paint. The i4 eDrive 40 begins at it understeers sooner and more. It doesn’t talk to
3. Useful cable storage £52k and that’ll get you smaller wheels for longer range. you or give options. The BMW does both.
compartment in the nose of But we have the M Sport with leather, 19s, and three
the Polestar. Also handy for packs: M Sport Pro, Technology Plus and Comfort Plus. Yet the BMW rides well too. It’s not pillowy, but
You can have the i4 with dual motors, but it’s honestly it’s contained by its adaptive dampers and chamfers
emergency round thing storage less fun than the rear-driver. off big hits, smooths road coarseness, and operates
so quietly that you stop noticing after a while. You’re
For the Polestar with options as seen here, that’ll be low slung enough that pitch and rock just aren’t
£58,800, and the BMW an uncomfortable £64,705. I say really a thing. And its tyres roll quietly on most
uncomfortable because the BMW is just 340bhp and RWD surfaces, it slips silently through the air.
(albeit with LSD) and posts a 0–62 time of 5.7 seconds,
facing up to the Polestar’s 400bhp and 4WD and 4.5secs. The Polestar is significantly firmer sprung. Its
But the BMW’s battery is a bit bigger – 81kWh usable, Öhlins dampers indeed act like a tarmac rally car’s:
versus 75kWh. It uses it better, too: its WLTP range on they aristocratically quell both body movement and
these wheels is 344 against 282 miles for the Polestar. wheel hop, but they need speed to work. In town this car
thumps you, and makes motorways seem corrugated. Its
Even in a heavy car, 400bhp means something. tyres hum, and the mirrors and doors rustle at speed.
Especially when it arrives the instant you ask, and the
tractive effort is shouldered by all tyres. The Polestar It was a bit of a shivery day when we tested, 2–8°C,
accelerates with a casual and slightly brutal ease, at least we didn’t precondition them on charge and we were
up to any sensible UK speed. The i4 is merely very brisk. pressing on. So our actual range figures are the worst
But that’s plenty enough to undertake any sane overtake. you’d see. The BMW did 235 miles, the Polestar 175. And
On a dry road it has all the traction it needs. look how similar their battery capacities are. The BMW
was doing 2.9mpkWh, the Polestar a poor 2.2. Still, on
Which brings us to the i4’s big win. It’s so interactive warmer days, or with preconditioning, you’d easily
in bends. The steering yields you some sense of the front stretch the economy and range of both by 15 percent.
tyres’ duress and the back tyres communicate too. So it’s The i4 is supposed to charge slightly faster on DC if the
charge post is up to it, but they both throttle down once

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 037

BMW
i4

01 04 05
02 03

03

06 02

POLESTAR
2

01

06 05
04
038 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

Specifications

they pass 50 per cent full, making a 350kW charger 1 BMW 2 POLESTAR
superfluous. That’s what we found: about 40 minutes i4 2
for either to do 10–80 per cent on a 150kW outlet.
VERDICT Come for the A great piece of
If you read no further, you’ll think the Polestar’s a POWERTRAIN usual BMW dynamic design with New Age
struggler. The i4 has the dynamics and efficiency to justify excellence. Stay for the image. But flat to drive
your decision to buy a sports saloon not a crossover. The efficiency. Run from
Polestar doesn’t. But people do buy crossovers in droves, and not efficient
so dynamics and efficiency obviously aren’t all that the styling enough
matters. People want image, brand and design.
1 e-motor, RWD 2 e-motors, 4WD
Design? BMW still does stance and proportion very
well. Beyond that, the i4 falls apart. Enough bilious words POWER 340bhp 400bhp
have been expended on the BMW’s big grille, which is a
distraction from the fact the rest of it is a dog’s dinner – ACCELERATION 0–62 5.7secs 0–62 4.5secs
creases begin and end aimlessly, and the front and back
bumper units embody a cacophony of unrelated visual TORQUE 317lb ft 487lb ft
ideas. A car that looks better in a very dark colour is surely
one that needs a visual edit. Whereas the Polestar’s CLAIMED 344 miles WLTP 282 miles WLTP
silhouette is strong and the surfacing and detail are RANGE
confidently simple, yet a very long way from naive.
TOP 118 127
So it goes with the cars’ interiors. The BMW’s feels SPEED mph mph
more expensive, yes. But the furniture designers could
have taken a chill pill. The screens’ graphics use so much WEIGHT 2,050kg 2,123kg
decoration and colour that they lose clarity. The Polestar’s BATTERY
furniture is cleaner and more pared back. The front seats / USABLE 84kWh / 81kWh net 78kWh / 75kWh net
lever their Volvo heritage, being awesomely comfortable BOOT
on long hauls. But the Polestar is tighter in rear legroom CAPACITY 470 litres 405 litres
and its boot. Apart from a silly small speedo, its screen
graphics are a model of calm legibility. SCORE 1,290 litres (seats down) 1,095 litres (seats down)

Volvo invented Polestar so that it could snare buyers 9 8
looking for a clear, disruptive break from the image and 10 10
values of the oil age. This car’s design is a breath of fresh
air. And maybe its buyers won’t care that the dynamics
don’t measure up to the best of what the establishment
can do. Which is the i4. In range and efficiency the i4 is
an excellent electric vehicle. As a driver’s car it’s the best
EV you can get for anywhere near this money.

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 039

9
10

TOYOTA
GR86

Devil’s in
the detail

£30,000 (approx) by Subaru – with a few bespoke dynamic eagerly pressing the starter button, then going
flourishes applied to separate BRZ and GT86 merrily about your business.
2.4 231 6spd 6.3 P CO2 in the final stages – the two teams split much
4cyl bhp man secs earlier this time around, allowing Gazoo The whole thing feels unburstably
n/a n/a Racing ID to bubble close to the surface. engineered and invites a real flogging on
mpg g/km track, its scant weight ensuring the brakes
Power still comes without the assistance of take a long time to even think about going
FOR Just as sweet to drive but a single turbocharger, the old 2.0-litre flat-four soft. And yes, it’ll drift. Even more keenly
with a proper engine this time engine swelling to 2.4 litres, with the cylinders than before with such potent torque low
bored out for extra capacity so it’s no bigger down its rev range. The GT86 needed really
AGAINST Arguably it feels or heavier. Peak outputs are now 231bhp at throwing into a corner to unstick its back
too familiar. Arguably 7,000rpm and 184lb ft at 3,700rpm. The latter axle, at least in the dry. The GR86 will start
is most vital – torque has risen 20 per cent to move under mild load and power.
‘W aku-Doki.’ Not a new In The while peaking 2,900 revs earlier. It means
Night Garden character about the 0–62mph time has freefallen 1.3secs. That’s on the Michelin Pilot Sport 4s of top
to muscle in on the Tombliboos’ spec, mind. Toyota plans to offer the GR86 in
turf, rather the Japanese philosophy of It’s described as “the accessible entry two trims with the base car wearing eco-tastic
‘heart-pumping excitement’. We’re promised ticket to GR”, so while prices are yet to be base Primacys like its forebear. It’s likely the
the Toyota GR86 is chock-a-block with it. revealed, “cheaper than the GR Yaris” appears only choice that you’ll really have to make, as
to be the headline. The coupe’s purer than the Europe won’t get the Subaru BRZ this time
You’re looking at a production ready hot hatch, too. Rear- rather than all-wheel around. So if it’s Waku-Doki you want, the
prototype of the replacement to the GT86, its drive, with your only driving mode selection Toyota is the place to find it. And if the GR
subtle switch from ‘GT’ to ‘GR’ representing a being how tightly you want the stability Yaris waiting list is getting you down, Gazoo’s
change in mindset. Where the first iteration of control to grip you. Otherwise it’s a simple cheaper alternative has the potential to put an
Toyobaru coupe was largely all pieced together case of nestling into the hugging fabric seat, even bigger smile on your face. Stephen Dobie

040 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

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• Hard wearing and durable 3m x 6m Single Garage Interlocking Antislip Checker Plate AKYA £299.99 £359.99 £29.99 £389.98
Floor Tile Kit - with Yellow Ramped Edges
• Lay with no adhesive

• Each tile is 10h x 500w x 500d (mm) external

• Resistant to most chemicals,
oils, acids and solvents

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Copyright Tufferman 2022. All rights reserved. Co. number 8224210. Tufferman Ltd Unit 2A Boyton Hall Farm, Boyton Cross, Roxwell, Chelmsford, CM1 4LN.

6
10

VOLKSWAGEN When it was initially unveiled, the general pedal too, but you won’t ever be writing home
TAIGO consensus was that the Taigo would become about the Taigo’s driving experience.
the new entry level VW SUV on our shores.
Style However, Volkswagen knows that the ‘coupe’ On the inside the seats are well-trimmed
council body means it can charge extra for a little bit and comfortable, you get proper buttons on the
more ‘style’. It’ll set you back roughly £1,000 steering wheel and no matter what trim level
£22,450 more than the equivalent T-Cross (ouch) and you go for all examples get clear digital dials.
around £2,000 less than the larger T-Roc.
P CO2 It’s not all great – there are a few cheap
In reality the Taigo is similar in size to the plastics, particularly on the centre console and
47.8 134 Polo, although it does get a bigger boot with the door panels, and the 8.0-inch infotainment
mpg g/km 438 litres playing 351 litres. We reckon it looks screen can be confusing to use. You do at least
rather good. That full-width rear lightbar get a separate panel for the climate controls,
is a neat little premium feature, and it’s less though. Would the person at VW responsible
polarising than something like a Puma. Just for this please have a word with the team
a shame it doesn’t drive as well as the Ford. working on the MkVIII Golf? Greg Potts

1.0T 109 7spd 10.9 The Taigo is petrol only, with the option
3cyl bhp DSG secs of a 1.0-litre turbo 3cyl or a 1.5-litre turbo 4cyl.
You can have manual or auto gearboxes, but
FOR Surprisingly spacious. front-wheel drive is standard and VW has ruled
Decent enough to drive out a GTI or R performance variant.

AGAINST Some cheap interior If you’ve driven a T-Cross, you won’t find
plastics. Sluggish and noisy 3cyl too many differences behind the wheel of a
Taigo. The 109bhp three-cylinder engine isn’t
T his is Volkswagen’s latest niche-busting the most refined of units, clattery on start-up
coupe-crossover. It joins the seven other and sounding a little strained at higher revs, so
VW SUVs on sale in the UK and is based you’ll be wanting to avoid the gearbox’s Sport
on the same one-size-fits-all underpinnings as mode. Oh, and 0–62mph takes a full 10.9
the Polo and the T-Cross. It’s not technically seconds. Ouch.
an all-new car either, because it shares a great
deal with the Volkswagen Nivus sold in South It is fairly impressive through twisty stuff,
America. To become a Taigo it gets a couple staying level and composed. The suspension is
of styling tweaks inside and out, as well as a on the firm side, but it rarely feels crashy and
sporty new R-Line trim level. copes with potholes well. The brakes are as
good as they need to be with decent feel to the

042 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

IF YOU LOVE THE
LAMBORGHINI

MIURA, YOU NEED A
COPY OF THIS

Whether you are a prospective,
current or past owner, or simply a

lover of the first Italian supercar,
this exhaustively researched

register containing information
on every example built is a must-

have addition to your library

To purchase your copy go to www.miurabook.com

8
10

MASERATI T he MC20 is a great supercar. No Huracán, but what can these days? What you
MC20 excuses, no ifs or buts (not even too have here is a fairly plain V6 engine note, but
many gripes). What a pleasant surprise. overlaid with effervescent turbo fizz and hiss.
Gently With a carbon tub at its core it’s akin to a It’s pronounced and uplifting and has whip
does it McLaren – but more languid. It feels light crack responses.
and skims along like an Alpine A110, there
£187,975 are overtones of Lotus in its mannerisms. “Ah”, you’re thinking, “bet it’s Ferrari’s
McLaren, Alpine, Lotus: this is encouraging. V8 with a pair of cylinders chopped off”.
3.0TT 621 8spd 2.9 P CO2 And the more I drove it the more I liked it – No, this new Nettuno V6 is “a patented,
V6 bhp DCT secs it’s beguiling and sophisticated to drive. 100 per cent Maserati engine”. And it’s very
24.4 262 interesting, with twin spark plugs, one located
mpg g/km But what sort of supercar is it? Rear in a small secondary combustion chamber
visibility is dismal, there’s a plexiglas engine above the main body of the cylinder, allowing
FOR Deft, indulgent cover and a pretty bare-bones cabin, which better swirl and mix in the main chamber.
chassis, responsive, seems to steer it to the more hardcore end, Considering it’s the first engine Maserati has
hard hitting V6 populated by Lamborghini’s Huracán STO. built itself since 1998, it’s a masterpiece and
But the ride is wonderful, refinement is does wonders to distance the firm from past
AGAINST Ordinary downright impressive, it does 30mpg on a overlaps with Ferrari.
interior. Is it really long haul and is light, easy and undemanding
worth £190,000? to drive – more akin to a McLaren GT. An 8spd twin clutch box sends 621bhp and
538lb ft to the rear wheels, keeping them busy.
Encouragingly it’s not copying anything. The stability control is a bit heavy handed
It’s both usable and highly exciting to drive, and the gearbox has the irritating habit of
more road bias than track certainly, but downshifting when you’ve put it in manual.
boasting a well judged compromise. And However, long gearing (70mph is about
a compact 3.0-litre V6 that – unlike the 1,500rpm) delivers a 30mpg cruise, although
forthcoming Ferrari 296 GTB and McLaren economy falls off a cliff if used hard.
Artura – has no hybrid assistance. I was
worried about this, about the potential lack Let’s dwell on usability for a moment:
of drama and about how sluggish it seemed I don’t know how Maserati measured the
in early videos of it revving. That was wrong. 47-litre front ‘boot’, but it can barely fit the
This twin-turbo is a feisty, energetic, hard logbook. The boot aft of the engine seems
hitting motor. No, the sound can’t rival the bigger than the 101-litre claim, but stuff gets
baritone howl of a naturally aspirated V10 warm. The rearview mirror is fitted with a
screen. The camera view is better than the

044 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

“IT MAKES A HURACÁN
SEEM WOODEN, A 911

TURBO A BIT SQUARE, A
McLAREN PEHAPS TOO

SERIOUS MINDED”

Wide, flat Maserati
meets wide, undulating
road. This is Good

actual view out the back, but it makes minded. Perhaps unsurprisingly it’s more a sports car cabin, something you’d pay
your eyes go funny. The standard six-way Ferrari-esque, but there’s a grace to its £60,000 for, not over three times that.
adjustable seats are fine, but don’t go low movements I don’t think even an F8 Tributo Now, this is difficult because Maserati (like
enough, nor hold you tight enough. They’re can match. The MC20 is playful and well McLaren, Alpine and Lotus...) has none of
a bit overstuffed. The optional race buckets balanced, approachable and good natured. the resources needed to create Porsche-level
are £5,900. As they swing up, the doors also interiors. But at this price point McLaren
project out a long way. Park further away There are some issues. The steering is does at least show some creativity.
from fuel pumps than you think necessary. overassisted and has little feedback. Road
feel comes through your buttocks not your Does value matter up here? Not nearly as
Once you’ve got past those things it’s a hands. The Brembo CCM brakes are powerful, much as the way the car looks, acts or drives,
bloody exciting car, it really is. It’s light on but at low speed there’s no bite and the pedal and it’s vital that Maserati positions the car
its feet, moves gracefully and easily over is hard to modulate accurately. The modes correctly, pitches it at the right level to the
rough roads, is keen and eager and every themselves are fine (Wet, GT, Sport, Corsa) right customers. But they may well expect
time you exit a corner the engine is right but the mode dial itself is cheap and creaks more than just handsome looks, left field
there, trying to get ahead of your foot. It when twisted. Unfortunately, that blends with status and driver appeal. An all-electric MC20
makes a Huracán seem wooden, a 911 Turbo the rest of the cabin. is in the pipeline, if that matters. But is that
a bit square, a McLaren maybe too serious really the direction we want the supercar to
There are way too many exposed be taking? This one proves there’s still plenty
screwheads. Beyond that, it’s the overall of life in the existing format. It’s a corker, a
impression it gives you. Materials are OK, but first rate addition to the supercar pantheon.
nothing special, the design is plain, the dash Well done Maserati – we weren’t sure you had
screen resolution is a little grainy (although it it in you. Ollie Marriage
actually functions fairly well). But it feels like
T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 045

MUST TRY 7
HARDER 10

CADILLAC AC SCHNITZER Schnitzer’s nicknamed its new ACS1 the
ESCALADE ACS1 GREEN HELL ‘Green Hell’. You can guess the other half;
the RS suspension coilovers were tested
$106,290 Ring around the Nürburgring, which is handily
master located an hour or so south of the tuner’s HQ.
P CO2
6.2 420 10spd 6.1 17.0 n/a £50,023 In short, it makes the M135i a sharper,
V8 bhp auto secs mpg g/km more alert car yet one which won’t rattle your
2.0T 302 8spd 4.8 P CO2 fillings out. Even as specced here on frankly
THIS IS THE SHORT WHEELBASE CADILLAC 4cyl bhp auto secs cartoonish 20in alloy wheels. They do lend the
Escalade. It’s 5.4m long and weighs over 36.2 168 Green Hell’s progress a slightly brittle edge,
2.6 tonnes. It pulls off the impressive trick mpg g/km but the body control is top notch.
of being outwardly giant, yet inwardly
small. So maybe you want the bigger one, FOR Sharper to drive, body There’s no extra power, though you might
approaching six metres long. But you’d control is much improved eke a sliver of extra performance thanks to
probably rather have nothing to do with it the Green Hell’s incremental weight loss.
at all, because you’re reading this in the UK AGAINST Schnitzer can apply the
and busy being amazed it exists at all. same treatment to the 128ti... Inside is a reminder of how brilliantly
sensible BMW’s base ergonomics are, with
The Escalade is America’s Range Y ou’re looking at the AC Schnitzer ACS1 Schnitzer’s most obvious tweak being its
Rover, a rolling status symbol and brand ‘Green Hell’. It is, in essence, a BMW own, elongated steering wheel paddles.
communicator. It has plenty of tech: four M135i that’s been putting in the HIIT
microphones around the cabin detect workouts over the past year or two. Everything you see here totals £11,583,
passenger voices and broadcast them which applied to a brand new M135i gives you
through the speakers, so you can hear each Did the M135i need a workout? Oh yes. The a 50 grand bill, all told. You can cherry pick
other better. There’s a 38-inch sweep of old one – and its M140i successor – became options, and that’s what we’d do – forgoing the
OLED screens across the dash. Those something of a cult classic. It wasn’t perfect, fragile-looking front splitter and the 20in
actually work really well. The rest of it? but it was a rear-wheel-drive hot hatchback wheels saves over five grand straight away.
with a longitudinally mounted straight-six The big shift in character comes from the
No trace of electrical assistance for the engine. It felt like a mallet among hammers suspension, which you can snare for £2,500.
6.2-litre 420bhp, 460lb ft V8. Not even a turbo. in the hot hatch class, but it was special.
The steering is remote and this elephant And crucially not just on the M135i – the
gets easily spooked, ridges and bumps But then BMW switched the 1-Series to simpler BMW 128ti, which we’re big fans of,
jolting heavily through the air-sprung a natively front-driven hatch, whipping such can also host the fancy coilovers, providing a
suspension. And this despite being fitted specialness away in a moment. Schnitzer total not far over £35k when you lump in the
with a multilink rear end for the first time. hasn’t attempted to fix the entire laundry list: car. You might need to come up with another
the Aachen-based tuner focuses on suspension nickname, though... Stephen Dobie
It’s a throwback, this car. But then away and trim, typically, so an entire redesign might
from the noise around Tesla, Rivian et al, have been taking on a little too much.
that applies to the whole American car
industry. There’s nothing especially Mind, I’m willing to argue the simple
obnoxious about the Escalade when the switch to San Remo green has taken a
alternatives are the Lincoln Navigator or reasonable amount of edge off the latest
Lexus LX570. Ollie Marriage One’s styling. That colour is half the reason

5
10

046 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

The overrun

Small but perfectly formed reviews. The best of the rest from this month’s drives

89
10 10

CITROEN As of January 2022, this isn’t BENTLEY CONTINENTAL The GTC ‘Speed’ is one measly
BERLINGO XL available new anymore; the EV GT SPEED CONVERTIBLE tenth of a second faster from 0–60
is now your only offering, with than a non-Speed Conti cabrio,
£29,150 a range of just 174 miles. So we £230,900 and 1mph faster at top whack. A
advise buying one of the final pointless marketing exercise? No,
FOR As practical now as it ever ICE ones that can do 500 miles FOR Um, everything? Possibly the Speed has a character all its
was, very comfortable to a tank, or you’ll be stuck with the ultimate modern Bentley own: thanks to all-wheel steer and
AGAINST You can only buy an a really practical car with an AGAINST Slight ‘The Real a more rear-biased differential it
electric version now impractical drivetrain. This is Housewives of Harrogate’ vibe feels lithe and alive beneath you. It
a car that’s not only vast inside, feels even more outrageous than
1.2T 129 12.1 P CO2 but one that’s also comfortable, 6.0TT 650 3.7 P CO2 in the coupe – and yet it remains a
3cyl bhp secs filled with common sense and W12 bhp secs capsule of refined opulence when
43.7 158 enough quality to withstand the 20 320 you come over all mature. Cue the
mpg g/km rigours of family life. VP mpg g/km Elgar, it’s a triumph. OK

57
10 10

FORD MS-RT was born from Malcolm VOLKSWAGEN This latest generation Caddy sits
RANGER MS-RT Wilson’s M-Sport Ford world rally CADDY LIFE atop the VW Group’s MQB platform,
team, but it hasn’t gone all-out meaning it borrows powertrains,
£49,075 with its Ranger special edition. It’s £28,602 safety equipment and interior bits
based on the posh Wildtrak rather from the Golf. We tested the 1.5-litre
FOR Well equipped, than the Baja-style Raptor for a FOR Drives like a Golf, masses turbo petrol with VW’s 7spd DSG,
1,098kg payload start. You get 20in OZ Racing of interior space but you can also have a 2.0-litre
AGAINST Oily bits are no wheels plus a full MS-RT bodykit AGAINST Fixed windows not diesel in various states of tune.
different to a standard Ranger and fancy leather, but that’s ideal for family life The Caddy Life is an immensely
about it for your extra £14k. Under spacious family car, and you
2.0TT 210 10.0 D CO2 the skin it’s standard Wildtrak, 1.5T 112 11.9 P CO2 can even spec a seven-seat,
4cyl bhp secs so a 2.0 twin-turbo diesel makes 4cyl bhp secs long-wheelbase Maxi version
30.7 242 210bhp and 369lb ft. This is still very 40.4 160 if you need it to swallow all the
mpg g/km much a commercial vehicle. GP mpg g/km belongings of a small village. GP

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 047

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