BBC Top Gear - 01 March 2022

THEY’RE OUT OF THIS WORLD! THEY’VE ALREADY DONE MOST OF
THEIR CATASTROPHIC DEPRECIATION! PREPARE TO MEET OUR

BAND OF CAREFULLY CURATED USED CAR BARGAINS

T O P G E A R . C O M > M A R C H 2 0 2 2 051

£70k

WORDS PAUL HORRELL

ECOMENTALIST

GOING GREEN DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN BUYING NEW: THERE
ARE PLENTY OF OPTIONS FOR THE ECO-WARRIOR IN YOU

£15K AND UNDER £30K AND UNDER

Mercedes C220 CDI estate BMW i3 42kWh

PRICE THEN/NOW: £20,845/£12–15k PRICE THEN/NOW: £31,680/£25–30k

PROS Very economical on the long trips it’d be used for. A traditional PROS Still one of the world’s best urban cars, and fun out of town too.
Mercedes with all that implies Soon to die: an instant classic
CONS People ignorant of modern emissions controls will despise it CONS Yeah, I admit it’s a lot of money for the range it offers. Small
for running on diesel boot, clumsy doors

In this early EV age, we should subvert the pecking order in two-car households. Don’t laugh. I’m choosing an electric car that, if I’m to avoid a fingernail-gnawing
Traditionally the main family car is the big expensive new one, while a used charger hunt, is limited to a real-world 140 miles. Fine. I’ll charge at home and
supermini does the running about. But right now, long range electrics are won’t go more than 140 miles in a day. How much of a constraint is that? Well,
expensive and still can’t do a fully loaded drive non-stop to the south of France. do it five days a week and that’s 30k a year. Should be enough. But yes some days
So buy a cheaper used estate to do that task. I do go more than 140 miles. Hence my C-Class, silly.

Right, the Benz. A filthy diesel on my eco list? Well, 50mpg all day means it’s It’s in its ninth year now. Given that EV years are like dog years, you’d expect
low CO2. And it would be criminally wasteful to scrap a car this new. It’s actually the i3 to be some kind of electric Morris Minor, hopelessly outdated. It isn’t. It’s a
EU6 so ULEZ compliant. Mind you I won’t be sitting in traffic jams outside carbon-fibre spaceship with wholly modern performance and refinement, and it’s
primary schools or respiratory wards. The i3 is for that. This is reserved for more fun to drive than most of the young small electric whippersnappers. And a
occasional long-hauling, or five up plus baggage heavy hauling. surprisingly roomy cabin of smarter design than any of them.

A tidy C-Class wagon looks and feels like a new car. Don’t worry about The £30k limit gets one of the modern 42kWh BMWs. For half that I could
whatever the mileometer says when you buy, just watch the timing chain. get an early one with a smaller battery and range extender, which goes a similar
distance but then you have to replenish both the battery and the diddy fuel tank.
It’s wonderfully refined, gliding down motorways in regal decorum. It’s new That’s a faff, but just as nice a car otherwise. With the 42kWh one, you can do a
enough to have all the connectivity and safety kit I have learned to like, but none 250-mile trip, and I often have, with just one 30min rapid charge stop.
of the touchscreen distractions I despise. Unless you have beanpole-tall folk in the
back seat, it’s quite roomy enough. It could tow and carry a roof-rack and wear No point in having a low CO2 car if it doesn’t do many miles. No worries
chains to drive up snowy mountains. It would be my passepartout. here. It’d do nearly all I need, and do it joyfully.

052 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 > T O P G E A R . C O M

£15k

£30k IS THERE ANY SENSE
IN A USED EV?
£70K AND UNDER
About one in four of all new cars sold
Citroen DS electric conversion each month is electric. They’ve overtaken
diesels. No wonder. They’re cheaper
PRICE THEN/NOW: £1,403/£30K CAR PLUS £40K CONVERSION to own, nicer to drive and increasingly
easy to charge. For exactly those same
PROS An absolute 24-carat classic, and deservedly so. EV conversion reasons, lots of people in the market for
will suit it no end a two- or three-year-old car also want
CONS We’re at the experimental frontier, so expect the odd setback an electric.
in the process
Problem. Two or three years ago,
Go on, name me a car that’s more beautiful, charismatic and technically electrics were only one new car in 50,
avant-garde than the DS. I’ll wait. Meanwhile I’ll ponder the shark-like low-drag so they’re only one in 50 of the used
body, and the self-levelling oleopneumatics that bestow a magical ride and stock of that age. And short supply
intriguingly powered steering and inboard disc brakes. Yet for all the DS’s pushes up prices.
highlights, this ointment has a fly. Its dreary four-cylinder pushrod engine.
Besides, before 2018 there weren’t any
Controversy explodes when people rip the flat-sixes out of classic 911s, XKs out reasonably priced long-distance ones.
of Jaguars, and V8s out of Range Rovers to replace with electric. I concede it feels And since then, the pandemic and then
super-dodgy to deprive the world of all that combustive harmony. The DS was the chip shortage have suppressed new
originally planned to have a flat-six, but the engineers ran out of money, and I’m sales. So used ones are hard to find, with
sure they’d have used electric power had it been available. So I’m here to finish it. buyers bidding them up to their new – or
beyond – list price.
DSes aren’t pricing themselves into the stratosphere like other classics. My
tactic is to wait around until I spot a post-’67 one with well-fettled body, trim Meanwhile, manufacturers are keen to
and suspension, but a knackered powertrain to drag its price down. Patience will shift new electrics because they’re good
be rewarded because electric conversions are getting cheaper and better. They for their average CO2 numbers. So they
mostly rely on repurposed Leaf batteries so again I’ll wait until the right parts give good finance deals. Also, new cars
come along. Then I’ll glide in low-earth orbit, treating city onlookers to a piece under £32,000 get a £1,500 grant. Finally,
of street art. The only noise and emissions will be everyone’s gasps of delight. electrics have strong residuals. These
three things all push down the monthly
PCP or lease rates.

So in one way, £30k electric cars
resemble short-supply hypercars. You
want to get your name on the list for a
new one rather than go for secondhand.
You can spec it for yourself, and it might
cost you less too.

Will this change? Slowly. Grants will
ebb away, the chip shortage will ease.
But for many years, probably until 2030,
the supply of used EVs will lag demand.
We’ve seen it before, in the mid-Eighties
to mid-Nineties... with diesels.

T O P G E A R . C O M > M A R C H 2 0 2 2 053

THE OFF-ROAD
ENTHUSIAST
USED AND ABUSED, YOU SAY? WE PREFER ‘WORN IN’

WORDS TOM FORD

£70k

£15k

£30k

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£15K AND UNDER £30K AND UNDER

Lada Niva Mercedes-Benz Unimog

PRICE THEN/NOW: NOBODY IS REALLY SURE/£3K–£17,514 NEW PRICE THEN/NOW: SPEC DEPENDENT, BUT CAN BE SUB £10K/HIT £250K

PROS Largely unstoppable on the right tyres, useful as a small SUV, PROS It’s the best off-roader in the world that can
characterful, a new one is in budget still drive on tarmac
CONS Not a lot has changed since 1977, will feel decidedly unmodern CONS A modern Unimog is not a cheap item, and residuals
even to Dacia Duster drivers are like granite. Still a bit agricultural

The Lada Niva: stalwart of the cheap ’n’ cheerful off-roading scene in the UK for Bit of a wild card here; the Unimog is widely regarded as probably the best
many years, backbone of the Russian getting-to-work scene since since AutoVAZ all-round off-road vehicle in the world, seeing duty as a base for a myriad of
introduced it as the VAZ-2121 back in ’77 in the Soviet Union. These days finding utilities, farming and military applications. The flexibility of the base ’Mog chassis
a decent secondhand one in the UK is slightly difficult – although you can find means that no two Unimogs have ever been the same since the basic premise
them for sub-£4k peanuts, you might not actually want to. Still, in the best appeared as the 1948 Boehringer Unimog 70200. These days, depending on spec,
tradition of TopGear, it’s possible to cheat here. The Niva is actually still imported they can be hundreds of thousands of pounds and equipped with everything from
to the UK on-demand by the rather excellent Mark Key of lada4x4.co.uk for a base camper bodies to cranes to water bowsers. And they still boss any terrain. Which
price of £14,595+VAT. For that, you get permanent 4x4, a low box and diff lock, is where Lancaster-based Atkinson Vos comes in. As the UK’s premier pre-owned
and the kind of mechanical simplicity usually found in something made of Lego. Unimog specialist, it reworks, restores and upgrades any kind of ’Mog, from
In fact, if you do find a structurally stable secondhand Niva, about the only things interesting vintage ‘toys’ to the full-on modern commercials. The one you see here
it really needs are a decent set of tyres, a modest suspension extension and scrapes into our budget at £29,950 for an ex-Singapore army U1300L, and is the
probably a snorkel – and you’ve got a vehicle that’s capable of pretty much kind of base vehicle which TopGear fever dreams are made of. Yes, it’s a bit mucky
anything you can throw at it. As luck would have it, that’s the Wolf special edition and shows a decent amount of visual ‘character’, but Atkinson Vos makes sure that
you see here, and although it’s a £2,789 option that busts the budget, you can just these vehicles are mechanically and structurally sound – at which point you can
wait until the pre-loved stock gets a second look at Mark’s books when the owners choose to make as many, or as few, mods as you wish. The sky’s the limit. Or more
run out of eardrums; Nivas aren’t the most refined on a motorway. New car for specifically, the depth of your bank balance is the limit, and you’ll need deep
secondhand money, characterful and interesting. Cheating yes, but good cheating. pockets for, say, an expedition camper. But there is nothing else, quite literally,
that gives you the feeling of pottering around in a Unimog – it’s one of the most
specific experiences in the modern motoring world.

£70K AND UNDER WHY ARE USED PRICES
SO HIGH RIGHT NOW?
Ariel Nomad
If you’ve tried to buy a used car in the past year
PRICE THEN/NOW: £36,358/AS MUCH AS YOU WANT TO SPEND or so, you’ll probably have been left white-faced
by the jump in prices over the past 12 months. Cap
PROS There’s nothing like a Nomad; rally in a field and then annoy people HPI – the industry valuation body – reckons that
at a track day – the choice is yours used prices have increased by around a third in
CONS Would not be considered suitable as an only car in the UK 2021, and although the trend is slowing noticeably,
unless you hate yourself and have antifreeze for blood it’s not quite over yet. Causes? Well, the global
lack of semiconductor widgets has meant delays
In theory, you can get an Ariel Nomad for considerably less than our ‘top budget’ on the supply of pretty much all new cars. Leases
for off-roaders here, and the secondhand cars that pass through Ariel’s facility are get extended to cover the gap, people hang on to
absolutely within buying distance, even without the ‘perfect’ specification. But the their cars while waiting for a new one – leading to a
point here is that if you’re going to go Nomad, you want to go full Nomad, and the notable shift in the amount of used stock available,
spec and options list is more bespoke than a Savile Row tailor. You’ll want the and prices inevitably rise.
supercharger kit with the HD clutch and short final drive. You’ll need the raised
air intake, ITG filter gear, stainless everything and Alcon big brake kit. The big Everything has gone up – good news if you bought
whippy light thing. Then there’ll be the Fox adjustables, competition-spec a couple of years ago and are looking to shift now
wishbones, rally spec wheels and mud tyres, carbon seats and WARN winch. – but the biggest movers are MPVs (which had more
Paddleshift? Probably. The list goes on. And on. The good thing is that a surprising room to rise, according to CAP), with lower mediums
amount of Nomads are optioned up to the eyeballs, so all TG is doing here is giving like the Focus, Astra and Golf also on the up. SUVs have
you the financial leeway to get the secondhand Nomad of your dreams. When you remained more stable, but everything’s ballooned to
do, you’ll get a car that’s equally happy being yumped off a Welsh rally berm as some degree. The best thing to do right now? Well,
harassing much more suitable machinery at a track day. And it’s the only car where the industry probably doesn’t want to tell you this, but
a ‘trip into the gravel’ is seen as a fun excursion, rather than something that makes as prices soften and start to fall in the latter half of
your insurer have a coronary. There’s nothing quite like a Nomad, and about the 2022, it might be a good time to try and wait to buy a
only thing negative to say about them is that they’re horribly draughty. secondhand car until prices get a little more normal.

T O P G E A R . C O M > M A R C H 2 0 2 2 055

£15k

£30k

THE FAMILY MAN

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’VE £15K AND UNDER
MANAGED TO REPRODUCE.
NOW FOR THE BAD NEWS: TWO- Audi RS6 C5
SEATERS, COUPES AND SALOONS
ARE WELL OUT. STILL, YOU DON’T PRICE THEN/NOW: £60,000/£15K FOR A HEALTHY ONE
HAVE TO SETTLE FOR A VAN WITH
WINDOWS JUST YET... PROS An early Noughties supercar dressed up as a big ol’ family wagon.
Kids, stuff, pets – it’ll all fit and be mostly intact at your destination
WORDS JACK RIX CONS Gearbox and Dynamic Ride Control suspension issues common.
And not cheap to fix – make sure the previous owner has taken the hit
056 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 > T O P G E A R . C O M
We’re at the lower end of our three-prong price spectrum here. Sure, you could
scratch your itch for a spacious family estate with a 2018 Skoda Superb whirred
along by a ULEZ compliant 1.6 TDI, but you’re braver than that.

The car above is the ‘Plus’, with another 29bhp, lowered suspension and
cross-drilled brakes – but with 444bhp as standard, we’d avoid spending the extra
and get a ‘normal’ one that’s been properly sorted. By which we mean it has the
leak-prone first-gen Dynamic Ride Control suspension replaced with conventional
coilovers to prevent future headaches. The gearbox also has a habit of letting go at
high mileages – not ideal when a replacement is up to £5k. Go for a higher mileage
car that’s recently had the gearbox refurbed with full service history.

Take your time (there’s plenty out there to choose from) and that 4.2-litre
twin-turbo V8 is a lovely thing to live with. You’re looking at sub-20mpg fuel
economy, but 0–62mph in under five seconds is still laugh out loud quick. You
can even squeeze three abreast across the back, in case baby number two turns
out to be twins. You’re taking on a piece of RS history – the first ever RS6, only
the third model after the RS2 and RS4 to wear the RS badge – so it’s not going to
be cheap to run, but then neither are children.

£70k

£30K AND UNDER £70K AND UNDER

VW California T5 Aston Martin Rapide

PRICE THEN/NOW: £45,000/£30,000 (FOR A T5, FACELIFTS ARE MORE) PRICE THEN/NOW: £164,000/FROM £40–£60K

PROS The ability to go and sleep anywhere, with the entire family PROS Supercar looks, useful boot, crackling V12. It’s a proper Aston
and several weeks’ worth of stuff. A holiday on your driveway for relative peanuts
CONS Prices are rocketing right now, shop around. Are you really CONS It’s a big car, why are the back seats so small? Servicing and
going to use it properly? Not really suited to the school run maintenance not for the faint-hearted

You’ve got the rapid estate for daily haulage, what you need now is something for To be totally clear, I’m writing this very much as a complimentary three-car
high days and holidays. Something to keep the kids entertained across the endless garage. I do not recommend buying a four-door Aston Martin as your sole family
school breaks without forking out for a villa in the Algarve. Yes, there are other transport. This will lead to arguments. And possibly deep vein thrombosis.
campers out there, but you wouldn’t buy ketchup that wasn’t Heinz, would you?
The Rapide wasn’t exactly a romping sales success in the early 2010s, because
Two important points. Camper vans are brilliant for that go-anywhere, it didn’t deliver on its mission to be a genuinely usable four-seater Aston Martin.
self-sufficient sense of adventure, but they are a compact alternative to a proper So concerned was the styling department with keeping a low-slung Aston-esque
motorhome... so space is tight. Kids adore van holidays because they can pass silhouette that it forgot to leave enough space for human adults in the back.
out after a long day legging it around the countryside, for parents it’s a bit more
cramped. Bring wine. Also, prices for Californias are a bit mental at the moment. You don’t so much sit in the back of a Rapide as insert yourself into a leathery
cocoon, and with the doors shut you’re locked into place. It’s not uncomfortable
Fueled by the travel ban, the popularity of DIY van-cations has soared, and for a short person like me, but might lead to panic attacks for anyone of above
so has demand. TG’s Ollie Marriage owns a T6 Cali he bought from new and was average height or with a fear of confined spaces.
recently offered more than he paid for it by a main dealer, despite it having 45k
on the clock. But there are affordable options – £30k will get you a T5 California But this is where the genius of my selection lies. Prices are hilariously low
in good nick, look after it and it’ll hold its value like Velcro. You can go down the for something that looks, goes and steers like a proper V12 Aston. Simply buy
classic T25/T2 route for less, but what you gain in charm you lose in space and one when your kids are young and small, and get rid when they start getting too
reliability. You could also buy a boggo VW Transporter and have a crack at big and hairy. In that glorious interim period you will own a beautiful British
converting it yourself, or pay someone with experience £15k–£20k to do it for you. supercar that can ferry the kids to sports practice, then give you endless, silly,
noisy supercar moments to cherish on the way home.

T O P G E A R . C O M > M A R C H 2 0 2 2 057

£70k £15K AND UNDER

USED PRICES Mercedes SL (R129)
ARE UP? GREAT!
I’VE GOT SOMETHING PRICE THEN/NOW: £58,045 (500 SL)/FROM £10K

TO SHIFT PROS Beautifully made, world class waftability, peerless late-
Eighties design
If you’re looking to sell a decent used car, CONS Electrics are very complex so check everything; watch
then now’s the time. The only issue is the for header-rail hydraulic leaks; check for corrosion
usual one – with the rise in secondhand
prices on the up, your selling bonus will The brief was maximum waft. With this in mind, there was bound to be a Mercedes
likely be nullified by the current buying in the final reckoning. Which one, though? I like the CL, but it currently sits in that
premium. The only way to ‘win’ would tricky used car purgatory where the jingle-jangle outpoints incipient classic cool.
be to sell now, and somehow not buy
until later. Saying that, prices for well So let’s go with the R129 SL instead, a bulletproof neo-classic from the era
cared for, reasonable mileage ‘normal’ when Mercedes’ commitment to engineering and its technical firepower put it on
cars are still showing quite startling a different level to its rivals. Then-design boss Bruno Sacco rated this as his
value for the seller, even the offers “perfect car” and we’d agree. The early cars had a two-tone slatted body side,
from previously bottom-of-book outfits and more than 30 years later look fresher than the ’95 or ’98 facelifts.
looking dangerously attractive. And it’s
not just the usual three-year-old, 60k mile Various six- and eight-cylinder engines – and a V12 – appeared under that long
end-of-lease vehicles that are getting a bonnet, but circa £10k gets you a decent early 300 SL (188bhp) or from 1993 an SL
price hike; supply and stock issues mean 280 or SL320 (228bhp). As ever, a bigger budget yields a better car: from £15k,
that previously less-loved models and you’ll get something that’s been properly cared for, garaged, and has FSH.
versions are also – at the moment
– appreciating assets. £30K AND UNDER

As ever, if you want to attract the Maserati Quattroporte Sport GT S
best prices, then you need to prepare
your vehicle for sale. A £100 valet PRICE THEN/NOW: £89,860/£27–35k
could make you an extra £500 or more,
for instance, and keeping on top of PROS Timelessly elegant design, sublime engine, sound and chassis
maintenance will pay dividends. The CONS Corrosion can be an issue; instrument cluster can be problematic;
interesting thing is how seasonal car annual service is recommended to avoid leaks on gearbox seals; discs
buying really is, and how things have and pads need to be checked and replaced every 30k miles
changed over the past couple of years
– there’s a lot more buying online, and Don’t be seduced by the siren call of one of the many bargain QPs that stud the
selling at the correct time of year for small ads. Nope. Level up to the Sport GT S and while you’re paying more than
the car might net extra value. double the money, the result is a car that comes vastly closer to delivering on the
flamboyant promises the QP always made.
058 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 > T O P G E A R . C O M
Former F1 driver Ivan Capelli finessed the later ZF automatic that transformed
the car, while the Sport GT S also ditches Maserati’s troublesome/useless Skyhook
adaptive dampers in favour of fixed rate Bilsteins.

What else? Well, there’s a concave black grille with a red burst on the Trident
logo, 20in wheels, oval exhaust pipes, and an Alcantara/leather-swathed interior.
Those in the know are very clear that this a car to savour, and it will look after you
– spiritually and financially – if you look after it. And that includes driving it
regularly, for this car doesn’t like sitting about twiddling its thumbs.

£70K AND UNDER

Rolls-Royce Phantom

PRICE THEN/NOW: £214,500 (BEFORE OPTIONS)/FROM £70K

PROS Still looks modern almost 20 years later, build quality,
astonishing refinement
CONS Aluminium body panels are difficult and expensive to repair;
cam covers can seep oil; pressure control valves need to be replaced

The first new Rolls-Royce to appear under BMW ownership, the seventh-gen
Phantom was designed by a select team in a former bank building in London.
Underpinned by a new aluminium chassis and powered by a 453bhp, 6.75-litre
V12, the Phantom is all about the sense of occasion the occupants derive from
being onboard a car the size of a small but intensely well-appointed building.

Air springs aid a ride that eclipses any magic carpet, yet there’s surprising grip
and poise if you raise the tempo. Everything you touch is expensively tactile and
exquisitely well made; the dashboard is a leather and veneer cliff face, and while the
connectivity might seem old hat, actually that sense of digital detox suits the car’s
aim to repel the outside world and its relentless interruptions. Still unique, then.

Should you take the plunge, it obviously won’t be cheap to run. Avoid a leggy car
if you can, and use a reputable specialist. Main dealer servicing is much pricier...

MAXIMUM
£30k LUXURY

A LITTLE LIGHT ON CASH BUT
WANT A TASTE OF THE HIGH
LIFE? STEP THIS WAY...

WORDS JASON BARLOW

£15k

T O P G E A R . C O M > M A R C H 2 0 2 2 059

£15k £15K AND UNDER

Subaru Impreza WRX STi

PRICE THEN/NOW: £25,995/£13K FOR A PROPER GOODUN

PROS A rally rep icon (especially in blue and gold), crisp responsive
chassis and the best way to smile through a grim winter
CONS Bone stock ones are hard to find and all of them have a whiff
of antisociality. But who cares when they sound this good?

First, a bit of background. You may not be aware but the Japanese car market
has gone a bit mental recently. With the first generation of Gran Turismo gamers
and Fast and the Furious enthusiasts now free of ‘bacne’ and all grown up,
they’re snapping up their four-wheeled childhood icons. And not cheaply. A
MkIV Supra recently sold for £148k, Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VI TME
for £147k, while Impreza 22bs are now selling for £230k. And I reckon
rally reps will continue going up. That’s why you need a ‘Blobeye’.

Now, that doesn’t sound endearing so much as a prognosis from a sexual
health clinic. But this generation of Subaru Impreza (2003–2006) was more
curvaceous and prettier than the ‘Bugeye’ it facelifted. Like all Imprezas it’s
a point-to-point weapon thanks to four-wheel drive, incredible all-weather
performance, a stunning and soulful boxer engine and low centre of gravity. But
the Blobeye was the last car to get a vibrant and zingy 2.0-litre before they were
swapped out for a torquier but less rev-happy 2.5 (for the UK market at least).

If you can, hunt out a WRX STi – they came with a stronger 6spd gearbox and
numerous engine mods including stronger internals and the Driver Controlled
Centre Differential. Also keep an eye out in the classifieds for ‘PPP’ (Prodrive
Performance Pack) which lifted power from 262bhp to 301bhp. If not there are
a multitude of tuners who can send power to the stratosphere if you require.

£70k

MR JDM

WANT TO SPICE UP YOUR SECONDHAND PURCHASE? THEN GRAB SOMETHING
FROM THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN. IT COULD BE QUITE THE INVESTMENT

WORDS ROWAN HORNCASTLE

060 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 > T O P G E A R . C O M

£30K AND UNDER £70K AND UNDER

Nissan Skyline GT-R R33 Honda NSX

PRICE THEN/NOW: £55,000/£30,000+ (FOR A NON V-SPEC) PRICE THEN/NOW: £55,000/FROM £60K (FOR A MANUAL)

PROS The most affordable way to get into GT-R ownership and PROS Real supercar verve, usable performance and calm city
potentially a way to make some money behaviour. What more could you want?
CONS Very hard to find an unmolested example, the least desirable CONS Dated and slightly underpowered for £70k. But it’s a
GT-R, potentially a lot of hidden costs and rot Japanese supercar for Ayrton’s sake!

As mad as it sounds, some Nissan GT-Rs are starting to sell for close to £250k. A sensible hand-built all-aluminium supercar from Japan? It must be the
Rarer ones are set to go a lot higher than that. Like the 400R which is currently original Honda NSX. And now it can be yours for the price of two Honda ‘e’s; the
priced at £1.6 million. And you have wealthy Americans to blame for this perfect solution if you’re not quite ready to hop on the EV bandwagon just yet.
madness. Why? Well they need imports to be 25 years or older to get into the
country, so R32 generation Nissan Skylines have only legally been showing up Safe to say you don’t see many NSXs on the road. And that’s for good reason.
in the States since mid-2014; meaning prices globally went nuts. The R34 GT-R Even though it was the most exciting thing to come from the makers of very
won’t be US legal until 2024 – when a minter is expected to fetch £300k. But sensible family cars, with high pricing and a production rate of just 25 per
don’t fret, there is still a gem to be had: the middle brother – R33. day, fewer than 19,000 NSXs were produced in total during a 15-year lifespan.

The R33 never had the respect or kudos of its R32 or R34 siblings. But the ones they did build were good. And later ones were full of ritzy bits.
Even though it had the same legendary over-engineered, therefore immensely But for our £70k budget you’ll be looking at a first generation manual car from
durable twin-turbo’d RB26 2.6-litre in-line six-cylinder engine and sophisticated ’91. The most sought after NSXs are predictably the rarest – like the Type R
ATTESA-ETS 4WD system it lacked its predecessor’s motorsport heritage and (483 made, with the original 3.0-litre), NSX-R (like the Type R, only with the
its successor’s Hollywood status; meaning it never quite gained the same level later 3.2 – 140 made), and ‘Last 12’ cars. You’ll need some Bitcoin for those.
of cult following. But it’s potentially blossoming into a collector’s cash cow.
An early car would be fitted with a quad-cam, 24-valve, 3.0-litre V6 with
Launched in 1995, the R33 was the first GT-R to be officially imported into 252bhp and 209lb ft and either a 5spd manual or a soggy auto. Get the stick.
the UK. It’s got softer styling but had more than enough options to make it go But being a Honda thankfully means it doesn’t require Chechnya’s GDP or a
like a shiitake mushroom off a samurai sword. Unsurprisingly, this made them massive chequebook to keep it going. It is fabulously reliable and, wait for it,
incredibly popular with tuners. But being easy to overpower, a lot were crashed good value to service. Plus, it’s incredibly usable day-to-day. But if you are
– so check for accident damage and rust, as they’re susceptible to that too. tempted, it’s especially important that the cambelt has been changed – this
has to be done every seven years or 70,000 miles.

£30k

T O P G E A R . C O M > M A R C H 2 0 2 2 061

THE SPEED
FREAK

IF MAXIMUM CUBIC CAPACITY, CORNERING ABILITY AND BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

WORDS OLLIE MARRIAGE

£15k

£70k

062 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 > T O P G E A R . C O M

£15K AND UNDER FIVE OF THE BEST
FOR £2K OR LESS
RenaultSport Megane Cup 250
BMW X5 (E53) V8
PRICE THEN/NOW: £21,995/£8,500–£9,500 There are many diesels around for our
money, but there is also a handful of
PROS A great everyday all-rounder with crisp, rewarding handling and 4.4-litre petrol V8s. You know what to do
plenty of firms out there who can help you maintain and upgrade it
CONS It’s still a Renault. Values will only go one way, you can buy more Audi TT quattro
speed and image at this level An absolute design classic that’s got
better with time. Pretty abundant at £2k,
Now you can get a lot more speed for the money – £15k will easily buy you a with a choice of coupes or roadsters
500bhp Jaguar XF R or BMW M5, or even a Z4 M roadster. But every time there’s
a clunk from the front suspension you’d brick it. Better to focus on outright fun Renault Laguna Coupe
– and few companies do that better than Renault. The 2010 Megane Cup came The proverbial ‘lots of car for the
with a full host of trick bits but this was also the generation that took most from money’, a plush-riding luxe coupe that’s
the VW Golf in terms of quality. And, at this money, you can do stuff to it. barely a decade old yet costs buttons

I’ve always found that spending money upgrading or improving a car ties you TOYOYA iQ
more closely to it – the car owes you, so you want to get more out of it. A little bit Buy some Aston badges, pop an oven
more cash could get you a later Megane 265, but equally you could spend a grand cooling rack on the front and you might
or so on an ECU upgrade, some new hoses and a fruitier exhaust and have an still convince some you’re in a Cygnet
unassuming 320bhp weapon. The chassis can easily handle it. Just watch that
the car you’re buying hasn’t already felt the heavy hand of modification. HONDA FR-V
If you’ve produced slightly too many
£30K AND UNDER children, this is how to cart them around
on a thin budget. And look cool too
Bentley Continental GT
T O P G E A R . C O M > M A R C H 2 0 2 2 063
PRICE THEN/NOW: £110,000/£25,000–£32,000

PROS Beautifully engineered and built, thunderous
power, cruising ability, huge range of choice
CONS Styling hasn’t aged that well, it’ll get through
consumables at a terrifying rate, especially petrol

You really can’t get more speed and power for 30 large than the 552bhp Conti GT.
It was such a smash hit in the early Noughties that you can now pick one up for
under £15k but it’ll have had 12 owners and wear a dubious bodykit. The styling
hasn’t aged that well, but get one in a darker colour and the years fall away.

The engineering is largely bulletproof, but proper maintenance is vital and
not cheap. It’s a complicated car and packaging under the bonnet is tight so even
routine servicing is challenging. It’ll also do 15mpg no matter how you drive it.

But. Take it abroad. Or point it at Scotland. It’s a car that needs a large canvas,
a road trip with scale and scope. Nestle in the leather, revel in the majesty of the
materials as you thunder down the autobahn. It won’t be the fastest thing up the
Splügen Pass, but my god you’ll feel like Hannibal when you’re up there.

£70K AND UNDER

McLaren MP4-12C

PRICE THEN/NOW: £185,000/£65,000–£75,000

PROS One of the most complete supercars around, stunning value right
now, you might well make some money
CONS Be prepared to put a lot of cash into it and to put up with potential
niggles. Maybe have a back-up car

A genuine supercar. A genuine recommendable supercar. These are two very
different things. At this money it’s the McLaren MP4-12C or Lamborghini
Gallardo. The question is, are they recommendable? Hmm.

At times it has seemed like McLaren is using its customers to do shakedown
testing. What this means is that previous owners will – hopefully – have spent 10
years ironing out the niggles and you now get a 600bhp supercar with astonishing
road manners for half the money of an equivalent Ferrari 458.

Values are creeping up. Maybe even at a rate to match the money you’ll have to
put into it each year to keep it in tip-top shape. McLaren recently announced you
could extend the manufacturer backing to 15 years. Costly, but reassuring. And
you know what? The supercar game really hasn’t moved on that much since.

£70k

CAPTAIN
OBVIOUS

RELAX INTO A WARM BATH £15K AND UNDER
OF SAFE BETS: THE CARS
YOU CAN’T LOSE ON, THE Ford Fiesta ST
HEARTLAND CHOICES THAT
REQUIRE NO IMAGINATION PRICE THEN/NOW: FROM £22,930/FROM £14K...
WHATSOEVER...
PROS A TopGear Car of the Year, a benchmark hot hatch, lots of standard
WORDS OLLIE KEW kit, no known gremlins
CONS Current shape STs are only just starting to trickle below £15k,
064 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 > T O P G E A R . C O M so you might be tempted by a tidy previous-gen car. It’s also fab

Put your money where our mouth is, with a car so well-rounded and
fundamentally brilliant we named it the single best new car to arrive in the
whole of 2018. And yes, the very Fiesta ST that was the TG Car of the Year only
four short years ago is now – just – dropping into the sub-£15k price bracket.

The previous-gen ST was also a cracker so it’s easy to be confused here.
The earlier 2013–2018 car complete with the 1.6-litre four-cylinder engine and
button-festooned interior has been sub-£15k for years now – this money buys
a minter, or you can steal into a high-mile HPI-clear example for about £6k.

In 2018, Ford risked it all to meddle severely with the ST’s recipe. In went
a clever 1.5-litre 3cyl engine with cylinder deactivation when cruising, meaning
50mpg motorway cruising is possible. We also got modes (Normal, Sport, Track)
with reduced stability control interference and a more chirrupy engine note. It
sounded like Ford had overcomplicated its classically correct hot hatch, but the
result was a better sounding, more comfortable but no less entertaining sequel.

Recently facelifted, this ST is only halfway through its lifespan, but if you’re
quick enough in the classifieds you can put one of the 21st century’s greatest
performance cars on your driveway for £8k off list.

£15k

£30k

£30K AND UNDER £70K AND UNDER

Porsche 981 Cayman BMW M5 Competition

PRICE THEN/NOW: £39,690/£26,000 PRICE THEN/NOW: £100,000/FROM £58,000

PROS One of Porsche’s best ever chassis, containing the good engine, PROS Monstrous pace, opulent luxury, stick a private plate on
before Stuttgart went and ruined it. Wears high miles very well and no one will spot it isn’t a £100k showroom-fresh one
CONS For this money, you’re only getting a 2.7, so it ain’t all that quick. CONS Hefty servicing costs, chunky running costs. Obviously.
Prepare to be mugged by a turbodiesel taxi It’s a two-tonne Beemer

Ah yes, the answer that falls out of Captain Obvious’ mouth every time a hapless Yep, the very latest greatest BMW super-saloon. Not just any M5: the
civilian queries what used sports car to get for 30 grand: a Porsche. To 911 or not M5 Competition, with healthily north of 600bhp and a lower ride height
to 911? Well, this sort of budget will bag you the tidiest of 996 or early 997s. complimented by racier geometry and suspension settings. Yours for five
Or try this: possibly the purest Porsche sports car of the century. figures less than that ugly new M3. Now you’re listening.

The second-gen Cayman was lower slung but wider than the first hard-topped ‘Competition’ was originally an upgrade pack for the regular M5, but now
Boxster, gaining stance and confidence. Engines varied between a 2.7-litre flat-six BMW only sells the Comp in the UK, having ditched the regular 592bhp version.
good for over 100bhp per litre, or a lustier 3.4-litre flat-six in the Cayman S. If you’d prefer your M5 with slightly less taut suspension and can sleep at night
knowing you’re a couple of tenths slower from 0–62, the standard cars are now
Inside you get a much more mature cockpit than the first-gen baby croc, changing hands from £52,000. The Comp isn’t dramatically more expensive...
just as well because it was hardly groaning under the weight of equipment.
Porsche decided the sweet handling balance and zesty engine would suffice, Powered by a 4.4-litre bi-turbo V8, the big news was the arrival of all-wheel
and you’d pay extra for electric or heated seats, satnav or adaptive dampers. drive on an M5. It’s rear-biased as standard, you can fiddle with the settings to
make it more tail happy still, or just go right ahead and select the RWD mode.
Values are steadfast at just under £30k, potentially because of this car’s legacy
as the last nat-asp flat-six Cayman (GT4s excluded). In 2016 Porsche facelifted Like Captain Obvious’ other picks, the F90 M5 is so recent it’s not really
this car into the 718, ditching the detuned 911 engines for a coarse turbocharged had time to disclose its reliability nightmares. Owners’ main complaints are
flat-four that we’ve never quite forgiven. These earlier cars sound leagues fruitier, eye-watering service costs, and you’ll be chewing through tyres and premium
and though they lack outright overtaking torque, revving these entry level unleaded at a fair lick. See also: tax. Paying for two parking spaces. And the local
Caymans out to make rapid progress is not exactly a hardship. car wash is definitely going to class it as a ‘big car’ and charge you double.

T O P G E A R . C O M > M A R C H 2 0 2 2 065

ANXIOUS ABOUT DIPPING INTO THE USED
CAR MARKET? FEAR NOT! WE’RE HERE TO SAVE

YOU WITH PRACTICAL CONSUMER ADVICE

066 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 > T O P G E A R . C O M

Dear TopGear Helpline, children’s eyes, literally no one will ever let you out at a busy
junction. Do your bit for the neighbourhood by instead buying
Help! I’m having a midlife a secondhand Audi R8 (V8, manual gearbox, £35k).
crisis! What do you
recommend? Dear TopGear Helpline,
Dave, Tring
I’m looking for a family car. I’ve got four kids, so I need
Dave, don’t panic. The midlife crisis is simply the brain’s way of three rows of seats. What would you recommend?
coming to terms with the limits of our life’s achievements, and the Dave, Basildon
inevitability of our own mortality. Experts advise there are some
simple, effective steps you can take to combat these feelings: more First, and most importantly, stop having children, you insanely
exercise, committing to new projects to gain fresh motivation, and fertile individual. As you’ve no doubt noticed, many SUVs claim
opening up about your insecurities to family members or trusted to be seven seaters, but the rearmost seats are suitable only for
friends. However, that sounds like hard work, so instead we’d small children, who have an annoying tendency to become larger
recommend buying yourself a secondhand Audi R8. V8, manual children even if you limit their exposure to sunlight. We’d go for
gearbox, £35k, you’ll be back to your old self within days. a traditional seven-seat MPV – such as the Seat Alhambra, Ford
Galaxy – or something like the van-based Hyundai i800.
Dear TopGear Helpline,
There is, however, another way. You don’t mention how old
I’m looking to invest in a future classic, but with prices your children are. But if you’ve got four of them, we’re thinking,
skyrocketing I’m struggling to find anything in budget. the eldest must be old enough to drive, or at least tall enough to
Dave, Harrogate reach the pedals and see over the top of the wheel. So crack on,
teach the eldest to drive, buy the kids a nice secondhand VW
Prices of anything that might loosely be termed a classic are Golf, they all go on ahead in that, you follow in your Audi R8 (V8,
going through the roof, with investors plunging cash into almost manual gearbox, £35k) to make sure they’re all playing nicely.
anything reasonably old and reasonably rare. Even more modest
genres such as Eighties hot hatches have achieved the status – Dear TopGear Helpline,
and price tag – of classics in recent years.
I’ve decided it’s time I took the plunge and bought an
If you’re looking for a proper return on your investment, find electric car. However, I don’t have a driveway – so can’t
something sensibly priced, moderately scarce but broadly unloved charge overnight – and my budget is very limited.
– for example a Suzuki Cappuccino (around 160 left on the UK’s Dave, Plymouth
roads) – and then set about subtly yet systematically destroying
all the rest. Guaranteed rarity, guaranteed appreciation! There’s not a huge number of genuinely affordable secondhand
electric options out there yet. That said, a decent array of Nissan
The only problem with this strategy – apart from the whole Leafs can be found for under £8k. And with battery capacity
‘criminal damage’ thing – is the half decade you’ll spend lumbered holding up better than predicted in even high-mileage examples,
with a future classic you don’t particularly want to drive. For this you shouldn’t be afraid of a car with a few miles on it. If you buy a
reason, the TG Helpline recommends you buy a secondhand Audi used Leaf, you should enjoy a few years of cheap, reliable motoring.
R8 (V8, manual gearbox, £35k), and just enjoy driving the thing.
However – and we can’t stress this enough – if you buy a used
Dear TopGear Helpline, Nissan Leaf, you will also be deeply, intensely bored. Bored driving
it, bored looking at it, bored waiting for it to charge. We’d advise
My local BMW dealer has offered me a low-mileage hanging on a year or two until some of the new, more charismatic
two-year-old X7 at a great price. Should I go for it? EVs hit the used market. In the meantime… secondhand Audi R8?
Dave, Cardiff
Dear Top Gear Helpline,
The X7 is one of the most spacious, luxuriously appointed
SUVs you can buy. After two years, it’ll have done a good chunk I’ve got three golden retrievers, and I need a no-nonsense
of its depreciating, while quality and reliability appear strong.
Dave, Durham
Though it’s no economy champion, the X7’s ‘50i’ petrol and
‘40d’ diesel offerings are frugal by class standards, so you might
be pleasantly surprised by its running costs. The only downside,
however, of owning a BMW X7... is that you’ll own a BMW X7.
Passing pedestrians will cringe in horror, parents will cover their

T O P G E A R . C O M > M A R C H 2 0 2 2 067

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU
THINK IT IS, THIS CAR. I
RECKON YOU’RE LOOKING

AT IT AND THINKING
‘WHAT HAVE THEY DONE

TO A BMW Z8?’

The Smit Oletha isn’t some Z8 tribute act, it’s what happens
when two brothers decide to make the car BMW couldn’t

WORDS OLIVER MARRIAGE PHOTOGRAPHY MARK RICCIONI

Wonderful, smooth,
rounded curves – an
excellent road, in fact

070 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

SMIT OLETHA

P is aerospace and advanced composites, while Willem has done
stints at both Tesla and Singer. And, like so many of us, they
weren’t happy with the direction BMW has taken recently. But
unlike us they decided to do something about it.

And what they’ve done is quite remarkable. Because it’s not a

BMW Z8. No, under the carbon body panels the Oletha (named after

the road they grew up on, but also handily meaning light and nimble

in Greek) started life as a BMW Z4 coupe. Hard to believe, isn’t it? To

give you an idea of the attention to detail that’s gone into it, I’m going

to focus on a couple of elements – one design, one engineering.

Palomar mountain, Southern California. The road climbs almost a Commissioning carbon panels is straightforward. What costs

vertical kilometre from Lake Henshaw to the Caltech Observatory at hugely is bespoke glass – unless you’re ordering tens of thousands

1,712 metres. America hides these astonishing sections of tarmac in glass manufacturers don’t want to know. The Oletha gets round this

plain sight. It just tucks them away well. This one’s called East Grade by using standard Z4 Coupe glass all round. I spent all day with it

Road. That’s not a signpost that makes you want to investigate is and not once did I guess the windows were original. They’re so well

it? I suppose you might come this way if you were to take the cross integrated into the overall design.

country route from San Diego inland to Palm Springs, but the satnav This car uses the E92 M3’s 4.0 V8 (more on that anon). It wasn’t

would have you down in the valley on Highway 79, not up riding an easy fit. The exhaust manifolds interfered with the chassis rails

the twisting crest of this astonishing ridgeline. and steering column. The entire engine bay had to be repackaged.

I can’t help but feel a more wafting cruise ’n’ pose would better They went through 25 iterations and ended up having to pass the

suit the car I’m about to drive. We could have taken the Smit steering through the exhaust manifold. The tolerances are only 5mm,

Oletha to the coastal boulevards around La Jolla or Malibu, but which meant they had to design and engineer new engine mounts and

the brothers are insistent that their restomod is a 996-generation have them 3D printed in stainless steel. But those work alongside the

Porsche 911 GT3 rival. original mounts so you don’t get excess vibration. And they’ve

It never was 20-odd years ago. It might have had the powertrain designed it so they can build right-hand-drive cars to demand.

from the E39 M5, but the Z8 was a concept car that lucked its way Sorry, can’t stick to one. Here’s another: they’ve developed their

into production on the strength of its looks. It was a lazily relaxed own pop-up rear spoiler, reducing rear end lift from 90kg to 30kg at

machine with easy torque and a less than attacking nature – 5,700 124mph. Most impressive thing about that? That they cared enough

were made from 1999–2003. to do it, down to the computing and calculations.

This isn’t one of them. And at this point I ought to introduce It takes effort to dig beneath the surface of this car. It could come

‘the brothers’. Willem and Kaess Smit are both BMW disciples (that across as a tribute act, a Z8 wannabe with a cabin that’s emphatically

happens when your dad smoked around in an E39 M5 during your Z4. The latter is a drawback. The clean sweep of aluminium dash sits

formative years) and mechanical engineers. Kaess’s background OK in a car costing several hundred thousands dollars, but the black

plastic hi-fi and air vent panel? Not good enough

“THE POP-UP REAR really. Overall the cockpit has a clean aesthetic, free
from distractions, but it’s not quite glorious enough,

SPOILER REDUCES LIFT lacks surprise and delight, richness of texture and
FROM 90KG TO 30KG” the trim is too obviously from a 15-year-old car.

But then the promise isn’t aesthetics, but
performance. Parked up at a viewpoint basking
in warm winter sun the Oletha fires into life with

a bassy American throb. Shame there’s so few

people around to hear the rumble and quake.

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 071

A 4.4 V8 under the
bonnet and a heavy
right foot. A good day

“WHAT THE BROTHERS HAVE

One tiny keyboard
slip and SMIT reads
something else entirely

072 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

SMIT OLETHA

Yep, turns out the The Smit brothers ,
Oletha can pull off looking very pleased with
yellow stripes too themselves and rightly so

DONE IS REMARKABLE”

Miles and miles of empty
roads are fun and all,
but gravel’s better

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 073

A few Harleys have been through and one guy in a gorgeous rewarding. So responsive, endlessly enthralling, confident in itself
Porsche 356, but otherwise... silence. and well-mannered. Finding opportunities to use it is the tricky bit.

I slot into first. The clutch isn’t the monster I feared and that It’s the regular E92 V8, but reworked so it’s more akin to the
stubby gearlever is precise and positive. It likes to be fed all the way S65B44 4.4-litre V8 fitted to the legendary M3 GTS. Like that it
into each slot though, not flicked negligently about. I pull out and uses a longer stroke to get the extra capacity, but almost all moving
head up the road. A small surge of revs through the first two gears, parts are new: crankshaft, pistons, conrod, cams, valve springs etc.
then third has more than enough reach to accomplish everything The crucial numbers are these: 450bhp, 340lb ft and 8,500rpm. All
Palomar has to offer. You touch the throttle at tickover and it’s off, that goes to the rear wheels alone via a ZF six-speed manual taken
greedily gathering revs, lunging forwards. You let it keep going and from the E92 M3. There’s a mechanical LSD, two-way adjustable
the noise hardens, sharpens, intensifies. Doesn’t feel or act like a KW suspension, AP Racing brakes and forged monoblock wheels.
lazy V8 now, feels like the internals have shaken excess flab loose
and are getting motorsport serious. Speed, drama, crescendo. So The raw ingredients necessary to develop a GT3 rival, then.
you predict the limiter and reach for the gearlever. And as you do And the Z4 has a strong core: as a roadster that had a roof added
you glance at the rev counter. It’s just cresting 6,000rpm. Take later, the chassis is super stiff – at 32,000Nm per degree, literally
your hand back, you’ve still got 2,500rpm to play with. three times stiffer than the Z8.

Wahey! And that last section is just so special, so screamingly Let’s start here: it doesn’t have the steering clarity and detail
intense. It’s not the speed it gains so much as how it makes you feel, of an early GT3, nor the tenacity and attacking nature. But it does a
the vibrations through your chest, the sense of barely tamed beast job today that no BMW did back then. It’s emphatically not a GT, it
thrashing away up front. What a drivetrain, so multifaceted and doesn’t lazily chunter about, but instead engages with you, urging
you on. It dives into corners eagerly, grips hard, is well balanced

SMIT OLETHA

Price: $450,000 (£335,000)
Engine: 4.4-litre V8,
450bhp, 340lb ft
Transmission:
6spd manual, RWD

Performance: 0–62mph
in c4.0secs, c200mph
Weight: 1,401kg

074 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

and predictable when you get back on the throttle. It was only just coping with a V8 trying to burst out of the bonnet (have a look
through tight, bumpy curves that it got a bit of diagonal porpoising in the engine bay and you’ll see how close that is to the truth).
as front and rear levered against each other momentarily.
The day wears on, fuel runs as low as the sun. Serves me right
It’s compact and light (1,401kg) with a power-to-weight ratio for indulging the motor at every opportunity. Afterwards I have to
of 320bhp/tonne. About the same as a current M5. Yep, that sort coast nervously down the mountain in the dark, cabin illumination
of speed, but with a viscerality that’s a world away. It powers supplied by the indignant orange glow of the fuel warning light.
down the short straights, trees and grassland blurring, hurls But before that I park up in a high lay-by, with long views out to the
itself forwards in that nose-up relentless crescendo that only west. The sky glows, hot pinks and reds softening the black paint.
large capacity naturally aspirated engines seem to deliver. Makes
a noise to summon the gods and rouses whole hillsides. It reminds There’s an easy line here which doesn’t make comfortable
me not of a 911 GT3, but of a Sixties GT racer. It’s a vibe, rather reading for Smit: this is a $450,000 (£335,000) BMW Z4. And yes,
than a specific car, but with the gnashing engine dominating it leather and architecture aside, the cabin fails to fully convince.
brings to mind E-types, Cobras and DB4 GTs. Externally, I think the moustache grille (a tribute to the 507) is
a bit soft too, but I’d happily live with it.
This is performance on a wider scale. Think putting on a
performance, something artistic as much as dynamic. It’s a The brothers hope to build a few dozen, but more than that the
captivating way to get about: the view down the long bonnet that Oletha deserves to build their reputation. After a full day with it,
unfurls as you exit a corner revealing yet another glimpse down I still can’t stop looking at it. Weeks later, and I’m still thinking
into shadowed, wooded valleys, the intensity and immediacy of the about it. The story this restomod tells, of a world where BMW
engine response and power delivery, the sense the chassis is only created a rival to the Porsche’s 911 GT3, is great, but the reality
of this peculiarly, wonderfully beguiling machine, is even better.

“IT REMINDS ME NOT
OF A 911 GT3, BUT OF
A SIXTIES GT RACER”

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 075

Missed out on a T.50 but
need that Cosworth V12

in your life? Gordon’s
got your back. Meet the
milder-mannered T.33

WORDS JACK RIX
PHOTOGRAPHY MARK RICCIONI

076 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

GMA T.33

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 077

“Would you like to see my new toy?” I can’t see Gordon’s mouth when he
sidles up to me and says this, but I just know he’s grinning behind that
mask. I follow him around the corner, no idea what he’s about to show
me – another obscure 50cc Italian motorbike? The world’s lightest,
most powerful Nerf gun? He lifts the lid off a wooden crate and there
it is, Alfa’s short-lived 3.0-litre flat-12, the F1 engine that powered his
Brabham BT46 fan car, looking fresher than the day it left the factory.
“It’s one of only three still in existence that I know of. Been looking for
one for a while, found this in America,” he pauses for a moment, staring
at his magnificent slab of racing history. “No idea what I’m going to
do with it yet, I’d like to build a new BT46 around it from scratch.”
How does this 75-year-old find the energy? At an age when most of
us would be basing our day around breaking in a new pair of slippers,
Gordon finds himself in charge of a technology group about to break
ground on a new £50m global headquarters in Windlesham, Surrey.
The car company bit, Gordon Murray Automotive, is currently
putting the final touches to the T.50 (a £2.36m McLaren F1 referencing,
central driving position, three-seater supercar with the world’s most
complicated aero and the mother of all V12 engines), developing a
“revolutionary, lightweight, ultra-efficient” platform for EVs and
plotting how to keep his Cosworth V12 alive for “as long as possible”,
which will involve adding hybrid assistance to future supercars.

078 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

GMA T.33

But before all that there’s something else. Something that suckles to weight? 556bhp per tonne. Rev limit? That’s 11,100rpm, versus
from the same analogue teat as the T.50 with its nat-asp V12 engine 12,100rpm in the T.50. “It’s got different cylinder heads, different
unfettered by electricity, manual box and bar-of-soap styling, but has cams, different mapping for the valve timing, a completely different
its own distinct personality too. This is the T.33, GMA’s second all-new induction system, a very different exhaust system and a different
mid-engine supercar. The T.50 remains the halo, this is something a bit engine mounting system. So the engines aren’t interchangeable,”
more laid-back and conventional with its side-by-side two-seat layout, Gordon explains, in case we thought he’d been cutting corners.
or in Gordon’s words “a car where comfort, effortless performance and
day to day usability are even more front and centre in its character”. “We said right in the beginning, we hoped it would be the best road
car engine ever. And now we’ve driven the T.50, we know it is.” Yes but
The T.33 will spawn a family of three variants – firstly the £1.37m you would say that, wouldn’t you Gordon. A supporting anecdote: “We
coupe you see here, then our money’s on something with no roof brought a new 911 GT3 to Millbrook and below 5,000rpm it felt like a
and something with more wing. “We’ll never make more than 100 hot hatch. From 6,000 to 9,000 that engine is delicious – the sound, the
of anything,” says Gordon, so only 300 cars will ever wear the T.33 pull, it just goes on and on, but below five there’s nothing, absolutely
badge. All will be designed around a new carbon fibre and aluminium nothing. And I’d just jumped out of T.50, which pulled from 2,000 revs.”
architecture, so while it matches the T.50 for width, the T.33 is actually What Gordon giveth with one hand, he taketh away with the other. He
45mm longer with a 35mm longer wheelbase. To give you a sense of reckons on a range of 400 miles from the 75-litre tank, or 440 with the
scale, it’s almost an exact match to the Lotus Emira... albeit with a optional overdrive sixth gear.
much more feral engine in the back and fewer kilos to carry around.
Target weight is under 1,100kg, roughly 100kg more than the T.50. He talks of various guiding principles for each model his “proper
little car company” produces – the pursuit of driving perfection,
The retuned Cosworth 3.9-litre V12 produces 607bhp (that’s 47bhp engineering art, lightweighting, a unique customer experience
less than the T.50) and a similar 333lb ft of torque, but offers 75 per (including a face-to-face speccing session with Gordon himself) – but
cent of that torque at 2,500rpm (you only get 71 per cent at 2,500rpm in one sticks out for the T.33: a return to beauty. For Gordon this means
the T.50) and 90 per cent from 4,500rpm right up to 10,500rpm. Power no fripperies, no faff, absolutely nothing stuck on or cut out of the car

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 079

No fan on the back of the
T.33 – Gordon’s gone for a
futuristic bladeless design

Who needs more than one
friend when you’ve got

yourself a GMA supercar?

Twelve cylinders with
Gordon Murray sounds like
a delightfully boozy lunch

080 MD EA CR ECMH B2E0R2 22 0› 1T9O ›P GTEOAPRG. CE OA RM. C O M

GMA T.33

“THE PURPOSE IS IDENTICAL TO
THE T.50 – INSTRUMENTS LASER

FOCUSED ON THE DRIVER”

All the mod cons of a 2007
Daihatsu Cuore in here.

It’s all about the driving...

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 081

082 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

GMA T.33

“THE T.50 REMAINS THE HALO,
THIS IS SOMETHING A BIT MORE
LAID-BACK AND CONVENTIONAL”

that doesn’t serve a purpose. The result is a slippery little sucker There’s a small pop-up spoiler on the rear deck, but downforce
that makes its case through a Coke bottle shape (fewer seats means the is mostly taken care of by a diffuser that kicks up steeply underneath the
waist can be more pinched) rather than wings, slashes and needless car – producing about 30 per cent of the suction you get from the trick
aggression. “We don’t do the melted Japanese LED lights. I can’t stand fan-assisted T.50. Remarkable when you look at the T.33’s ride height...
all that stuff. In five years’ time it looks old fashioned,” Gordon points it’s surprisingly generous, speed bump friendly in fact, no need for heavy
out. “And I don’t do funny shape exhausts either, they’re round.” nose-lift systems here. The suspension is double wishbone front and rear,
the steering rack hydraulic, the brakes carbon ceramic, wheels forged
It might be clean, but the exterior still has its quirks. That ram aluminium (19-inch front, 20s at the rear) and the tyres are off-the-shelf
intake on the roof, for example, is actually hard-mounted to the engine 235/295 Michelin Pilot Sport 4S – none of this unobtainium bespoke rubber,
not the monocoque, so as the engine rocks on its rubber mounts, so “less than a grand to replace the lot.”
does the intake – cue a thousand YouTube videos demonstrating this
feature sitting at traffic lights in a quiet residential area. The 280-litre So far so Gordon Murray, but get this: you can order your T.33 with a
luggage capacity is impressive and hidden behind huge pods that are six-speed manual – “the standard car is manual because that’s our driving
hinged near the tail-lights, but open at the A-pillar just enough to let perfection” – but also with a six-speed paddleshift gearbox. Shock! Horror!
you drop two bags in either side. Another couple can fit in the frunk. But withhold your gasps at Gordon selling out to market demands, because
this isn’t any old slush box, it’s an Xtrac-designed Instantaneous
Let’s zoom in on the headlights – vertically arranged instead Gearchange System (IGS) with power clutch and twin barrel actuation.
of horizontal on the T.50. “My growing up period was the Sixties, Which means literally nothing, until Gordon explains: “It has a clutch
I particularly loved sports racing cars of that period. One of the on the flywheel for pulling off but that’s it... it’s what we call a seamless
signatures were headlamps one above the other and a graphic that change, there is absolutely no torque drop. It’s a pre-selecter box so you
ran right down to the front of the car. With modern cars, safety regs are already in the next gear – all you have to do is release the one you’re in.”
mean you can’t do that, so I worked with the guys in the studio
to ensure the outline goes all the way down to the bottom, but the Mind sufficiently blown, but safe to say pre-sales haven’t exactly gone
bottom part is a front brake duct.” to plan. Having added millions onto the development budget with the IGS

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 1 083

“THE T.33 IS LIKE
A CARRERA

GT ON STEROIDS”

T.33 T.50

£1,370,000 Price (new) £2,360,000
3980cc nat-asp V12 Engine 3980cc nat-asp V12
607bhp @ 9,000rpm Power 654bhp @ 11,500rpm
Torque 344lb ft @ 9,000rpm
333lb ft @ n/a rpm 6spd manual, RWD
6spd manual/6spd ISG, RWD Transmission

n/a secs 0–62mph 2.8secs
n/a mph Top speed 217mph

4,398mm Length 4,352mm
1,850mm Width 1,850mm

1,090kg Weight 980kg

556bhp/tonne Power to weight ratio 663bhp/tonne

084 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

GMA T.33

– on top of chunky bills to offer both right- and left-hand drive, and full federal type
approval – uptake for the paddleshift has been... sluggish. “We’ve done some quiet
pre-sales with T.50 owners and people that missed out on T.50, so we’ve already sold
more than half the cars. Out of those 50, I think all but three are manual. I don’t know
what I’m going to say to the team if we get to the 100 cars, and only five of them are
paddleshift, because it’s cost a fortune.”

You’ll notice details on the interior are light, that’s because the T.33 is just a model
for now (the interior pics here are renderings). First deliveries aren’t likely until early
2024, but the purpose is identical to the T.50 – instruments laser focused on the driver,
no touchscreens, backlit analogue dials, physical switchgear for everything all machined
from solid aluminium, a huge rev counter front and centre and wherever you look
components that are 18 times more beautiful than they actually need to be.

“It’s a motor car I’ve wanted to do for perhaps 25, maybe even 30 years. Long
before T.50. Around about the time we were doing the F1, in fact.” Something simpler,
purer, more easily understood than the bleeding edge halo car. So I throw one of his
quotes from the T.33 press release back at him: “If you had to have only one supercar,
the T.33 is it.” Is that true, if he could only ever drive either the T.50 or the T.33 for
the rest of his days, it would be this?

He chuckles to himself, strokes his moustache, then: “I think it would still have to
be the T.50. It’s just... more extreme. The engine’s more extreme, the central driving
position, the aero’s more extreme and has more functions and things to play with. But
honestly, I don’t think anybody’s going to feel too much of a difference with the T.33’s
weight being about 100kg heavier. It’s still under 1,100kg, it still has a better power to
weight ratio than a McLaren F1, but it’s the type of supercar that people will use. What
we’ve noticed with T.50 owners, is a lot of them have Porsche Carrera GTs... and this
is like a Carrera GT on steroids. I’d sign up for that.”

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 085

Wrong time of year for enjoying the
there’s no such thing as bad weather,

WORDS OLLIE KEW

086 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

WINTER WEAPONS

great outdoors, right? Rubbish,
just inappropriate clothing... and cars

PHOTOGRAPHY MARK RICCIONI

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 087

EVEN FOR THE 15-TOG LOONIESdrunk
on Biscoff mochaccinos who insist that this time of year is their
favourite, winter motoring is miserable. Salt-encrusted paintwork,
white sun in your eyes for the 20 minutes a day that it isn’t pitch black,
and a screenwash receipt longer than Number 10’s bar tab. The car
industry spies an opportunity. Increasingly, there’s a trend for fast
cars with split personalities: something you can wield against the
elements, wrapping you in that warm cloak of electronic invincibility,
with a streak of yobbo-on-demand. A winter weapon.
We headed north in search of ice and snow, but the majestic
Cairngorms have let us down. For centuries this rugged hillscape
has been home to the most dependable snow in Britain, with
records of flakes falling in every single month of the year. Even

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WINTER WEAPONS

in the Scottish Highlands, they don’t make winters like they It’s a fascinating contrast with the new BMW M3 xDrive – the first
used to. But the skies remain spectacular: morning breaks with ever to be sold with all-wheel drive. As one of the most predictable
a watercolour palette of orange and purple. Defrosted, our convoy mega-hatches learns there’s life beyond understeer, BMW’s last
heads east from Aviemore, away from the speed camera-infested A9. bastion of rear-drive über alles bows to the inevitable and grudgingly
notes folks willing to part with £75k for a 503bhp family saloon would
Naturally, we required a fast Audi – the quintessential sub-zero appreciate the traction to deploy that poke either side of August.
teleportation pod. But the new 394bhp RS3 is something of a fresh Is it just me, or have we found the spec for the over-nostrilled M3?
direction for quattro. And that direction is ‘sideways’. The headline Burgundy with gold calipers finally adds an air of class to this
act for the third-generation RS3 isn’t its raucous, oversized 2.5-litre overwrought gargoyle. Grime helps cover the rest.
engine, but rather its torque-splitter rear differential. ‘Drift Mode’
might sell cars, but the promise of a more rear axle-driven chassis Porsche has been plumbing four-wheel drive into 911s since 1989.
is what makes this the most promising new Audi since the first Back then it was an unsophisticated sop to the arse-engined balance’s
version of the R8. appetite for untalented stockbrokers. As with every change made to

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 089

“THE RS3 DUG ITS CLAWS
INTO THE FRIGID SURFACE

AND TRUMPETED AWAY”

090 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

WINTER WEAPONS

the 911 since 1963, it had traditionalists frothing over ‘loss of purity’ and Suede wheel plus gloved
‘not lethal enough’, but consistently strong uptake through the three hands equals enough static
generations of 911 since means the latest, fastest Carrera – the 992 GTS to charge your phone
– is indeed available as a ‘4’, for an extra £5,580 over the RWD GTS.
Handles way better than the
These German systems are trained to divide drive instantaneously old RS3. Interior not a patch
between the front and rear axles, juggling torque where it can best be on the old RS3. Go figure
deployed. They’re constantly thinking and tweaking underneath you
– in particular the 911, which snatches at the road as it sniffs out No clues in here it’s the 4x4
purchase while the temperature outside climbs past 3˚C. one, besides options to
make it RWD in the iDrive
Then there’s the Lamborghini Aventador Roadster. An 11-year-old
supercar raging against the dying of its light in final SVJ evolution, with From a time before
a blown rear wing ejecting air from its underside to modulate downforce, touchscreens. And
and a how-the-heck-is-this-legal 6.5-litre V12 that makes an avalanche of cupholders. And sense
noise. And 770bhp as an afterthought.

While my back uncoils from yesterday’s 430-mile journey north
peering out of the Lamborghini, I plump for the M3 as the fiery horizon
gives way to a trendy slate-grey. Bad move. This M3 is equipped with the
£11,250 ‘Ultimate Pack’, which includes possibly the silliest chairs ever
fitted to a road-going vehicle. Posting even a modest thigh between the
obese steering wheel and the girder-like bolster is like squeezing through
a London Underground turnstile without paying the fare.

Even once seated, the idiotic carbon fibre genital-gutter makes life
uncomfortable. Very progressive of BMW to build an M3 only ladies can
drive in comfort. This might be the friendlier xDrive-equipped M3, but
nothing’s been done to soften the M3’s first impression, just because
you’ve chosen the weatherproof version for a £2,500 premium.

The car doesn’t immediately feel heavier than a rear-drive example.
There’s no detectable wriggle corrupting the steering. Right now, this is
still a rear-wheel-drive M3. To keep der faithful on side, the M3 xDrive
only demands power be shared with the front wheels once the rears have
lost traction. More of a last resort than an idiot-proof guardian angel.

It’s a monster in a straight line, aping the relentlessness of a Nissan
GT-R without the drivetrain histrionics. I think my brain drew that
parallel from the similar soundtracks – the M3’s bi-turbo straight-six
is an industrial-sounding ‘powerhaus’, unconvincingly augmented by the
speakers. It’s the only car here that sounds better from outside than in the
cabin. I’d be miffed that an RS3 driver gets to enjoy a more exotic noise.

But there are grumbles coming from the RS3 – it takes an age to
warm up, the heater is lacklustre and the bum-warmers feeble. The
Aventador constantly steamed up yesterday, too, but I’d put that down
to the aircon being attuned for Dubai over Dunbartonshire.

Clearly frustrated, Greg gives the RS3 a bootful, and even the
sure-footed M3 loses five lengths on the Kermit-skinned rocket ship.
In the split second the BMW needed to ponder gearbox kickdown and
where to divide the horses, the RS3 arrived at full boost, dug its claws
into the frigid surface and trumpeted away.

Giving chase exposes where BMW’s purist attitude to all-wheel
drive is exciting, but isn’t ultimately as useful in the depths of winter.
It’s also too complicated. Two tiers of brake pedal feel? No thanks, I’d
prefer consistency. None of the steering modes unlock the feedback
being reported from Sam in the 911, and then you’ve the choice of
‘4WD Sport’ (even more rear-drive biased) and a fully RWD mode.
Select the latter mode and you can ratchet up through 10 stages
of traction control offness, but that would be like setting a mountain
lion loose in your kitchen then offering it a tin of corned beef. Nice
try, but it’s still going to bite.

Up here, the RS3 strikes a sturdier balance for a wintertide missile.
At last able to entrust the back wheels with meaningful power, the RS3
feels alert and poised, reacts to your commands rather than overriding

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 091

Fun fact: a Scotch
pancake is what
happens when the car
in front brakes sharply

Summer is a
state of mind.
Ollie’s hands remain
frozen like this

092 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

WINTER WEAPONS

These cars attract
so much dirt, they’re
technically cleaning
the road as they go

Orange, blackcurrant,
lemon, and lime. But

please don’t lick them.
They all taste of salt

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 093

WINTER WEAPONS

them. It’s not a car of tactile sensation – the steering, like the M3’s, is The engine’s not as savage, but the way it rips around from 7,000
numb and the brakes aren’t pinpoint sharp – but when it encounters to 8,000rpm is well worth hanging on for. Today’s 911s aren’t small
a sadistic shaded patch where sunlight hasn’t penetrated the trees anymore, and the hips feel vulnerable as the drystone walls close in,
and ice still laces the road, it charges forth ruthlessly where the M3’s but 10 minutes in this makes you wonder why Jaguar, BMW, Mercedes
brief shimmy dents your confidence. or anyone else bothers to build a £100,000 sports car.

We rotate cars again near Braeriach – Britain’s third highest Do you need the ‘4’? Not sure. Feels more of a placebo out here. A
mountain – and now a climate change tourist attraction. Clinging graphic on the digi-dash monitors where the torque is being lobbed.
to a gulley in the rock face lies the ‘Sphinx’ – a patch of snow that Bosh the throttle and it floods forward but recedes almost the instant
is so sheltered from the sun’s glare it remains steadfastly frozen the car is rolling. It’s just a swift getaway aid, and the modern 911 is
even through summer. It’s only known to have completely melted such a traction monster anyway it’s a real belt and braces approach to
eight times in the past 300 years – six of those in the last quarter deal with a ‘mere’ 473bhp. It’s unflappable, but cleverly unspoilt by
of a century, including 2021. And, yes, I do appreciate the irony carrying 4WD. You might never even know it was there.
in barrelling past in 2,129bhp of sweety jar coloured sports cars.
The Aventador SVJ chucks out more CO2 than the 911 and the Microphones lurk in the front wheelarches listening for the hiss of
RS3 combined, and that’s why this is the last non-hybrid V12 spray, whereupon the car suggests selecting Wet mode, which directs
Lamborghini ever. I’ll build up to it. further torque to the front axle, puts the ABS, TC and ESP on Defcon
Wally and renders the 992 nigh-unspinnable. Ironic how the infamous
I select the long drop into the 911. Several miles later, the biggest ‘widow-making’ Porsche 911 is now the most trustworthy car in its class.
surprise isn’t that this is (yet) another crushingly competent and
immaculately rounded Porsche. It’s that I’m preferring this GTS Sound too easy? For £388,000, the VW family will sell you a car
to the current GT3. Devoid of the winged one’s double wishbone that does almost nothing on your behalf. Coincidentally the only
front suspension with its track-hungry settings, the king of the car here not wearing winter tyres complete with extra grooves for
Carreras is trustworthy without any of the GT3’s camber- siphoning snow and malleable treadblocks which keep on gripping
following, bump-steering mayhem. in freezing ambience. Aventador-spec 355-section 21-inch winter
rubber isn’t exactly stacked ceiling high at Kwik Fit.

094 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

“AVENTADOR-SPEC WINTER
TYRES AREN’T EXACTLY PILED

CEILING HIGH AT KWIK FIT”

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 095

“THE RS3 SEEMS TO NEVER
ILLUMINATE ITS BRAKE
LIGHTS. IT JUST EFFS OFF”

AUDI RS3 SPORTBACK BMW M3 COMP XDRIVE PORSCHE 911 C4 GTS LAMBO AVENTADOR

Price: £57,770 / £60,460 as tested Price: £74,200 / £95,370 as tested Price: £116,960/ £134,124 as tested SVJ ROADSTER
Engine: 2480cc 5cyl turbo, Engine: 2993cc 6cyl twin-turbo,
364bhp, 369lb ft Engine: 2981 flat-six twin-turbo, Price: £323,723 / £397,933 as tested
503bhp, 479lb ft
Transmission: 7spd DCT, 4WD Transmission: 8spd auto, 4WD 473bhp, 420lb ft Engine: 6498cc V12, 759bhp, 531lb ft
Performance: 0–62mph in
3.8secs, 155mph Performance: 0–62mph in Transmission: 8 DCT auto, AWD Transmission: 7spd
3.5secs, 180mph
Economy: 31.4mpg, 205g/km CO2 Performance: 0–62mph in automated manual, AWD
Weight: 1,570kg Economy: 27.9mpg, 229g/km CO2
Score: 8/10 Weight: 1,780kg 3.3secs, 192mph Performance: 0–62mph in 2.9secs, 217mph
Score: 7/10
Economy: 26.2mpg, 245g/km CO2 Economy: 15.6mpg, 448g/km CO2
Weight: 1,595kg Weight: 1,675kg est

Score: 9/10 Score: 8/10

096 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

The Aventador uses a Haldex-type AWD system, the sort of gubbins
deployed in Audi S3s and old Golf Rs, only here it’s rear-biased. An
electronic diff shares the V12’s fury with the front tyres – apparently
capable of anticipating slip and ‘preloading’ the 4WD system, but there’s
no screen informing you what’s going where. If it spools up, the shrill
exhaust shriek spiking is the giveaway. Good luck. Lamborghini has
been an AWD-dominated company ever since Audi took the reins in 1998,
but it’s not really innovated the concept. You get the sense Lambos are
4WD because the legal department thought it was best, not because the
engineers really get off on the set-up. Curious device, the SVJ. With its
trick aero, oddly compliant ride and savage performance it dearly wants
to be taken seriously as a honed hypercar, but the letterbox visibility,
headbanging single-clutch gearbox and unnuanced drive modes are
horribly intimidating. In anything other than the most relaxed Strada
setting, the ESC is wound down. Gulp.

Still, this big bad Lambo has a reputation for having corks on the end
of its horns, sanitised for show-offs who want to spit fire in Mayfair but
couldn’t catch a skid if their life depended on it. Which it will. Maybe that’s
true of a standard one in the dry, but find yourself in the SVJ on a sketchy
downhill off-camber sweeper and you’re awfully aware that massive V12
– all 235kg of it – will happily point itself down into the valley first if
provoked. There’s never any extra lane to play with, just the thud-thud-
slap of steamroller tyres over cats eyes and your prayers of thanks to
the inventors of rear-wheel steering. Lawd knows how cumbersome
this was before Sant’Agata added the independently steering rear.

But if the Aventador had been practical or wieldy, it would have
disappointed. I’d never driven one before this test, so it’s a bucket
list moment: at last, a V12 Lambo. Roof (clumsily) stowed in the
nose, another gallon of screenwash funnelled into its bottomless tank,
and the Old Military Road. A soaring 8,500rpm deathbed memory.

And also an ideal vantage point from which to watch the other
guys and their varying behaviours up front. The M3 makes its driver
cut corners, wary of upsetting its 1.8 tonnes in a rapid direction change.
The 911 is composure itself, and brutally fast on tight corner exit. The
RS3 seems to never illuminate its brake lights. It just effs off.

I catch them up at Glenshee. I’m not embarrassed about being dropped
– I’ve been revelling in second gear alone, thanks. Hands are numb, hair
ruined, eyes are dry. And my chapped lips crack from the grin.

Glenshee is where we find snow, but it’s as natural as the BMW’s engine
note. In 2019 the ski centre spent £1 million on a TechnoAlpin Snowfactory
SF210, aka a two-storey shipping container seemingly full of diesel engines.
Think of it like a giant American fridge’s icemaker, pumping out 250 cubic
metres of snow per day to keep the slopes in business.

Three of the cars trek up the rutted gravel slope for a closer look.
Mechanical sympathy for the SVJ’s clutch – and nose – relegates it to
the car park, where it’s promptly mobbed. I must admit to finding it
sobering that even up here, winter needs an industrial leg-up from
humans just to provide some downhill entertainment. Why, that’s
as logical as, say, building four-wheel-drive cars with the option of
sloshing horsepower to the back to make them artificially lairier.
We are an odd species. I prefer summer myself.

For all the seasons, I’d want the Porsche. But tonight, for the
headlong run back to the lodge, I can’t resist the fanatically fast Audi.
It’s a weapon alright. Has the potential to turn its driver into one as well.

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 097

KALMAR AUTOMOTIVE

098 M A R C H 2 0 2 2 › T O P G E A R . C O M

This man thinks he can storm the chockers restomod
Porsche scene with Scandinavia’s answer to Singer. Is he

mad? Well, a bit. But that doesn’t mean he’s wrong

WORDS OLLIE KEW PHOTOGRAPHY JONNY FLEETWOOD

T O P G E A R . C O M › M A R C H 2 0 2 2 099

KALMAR AUTOMOTIVE

“WHY DOES
A DOG LICK HIS
OWN BALLS?”

Jan Kalmar’s retort catches me off guard. each season” he notes, mid-drift. By not a clutch, you owe me two grand, but don’t
Um, because it can? “Exactly.” depending on frozen lakes as a surface, worry about bumpers. They’re cheap,”
His metaphorical answer to me Kalmar’s Spirit of Speed days run even says Kalmar, giving the front of a nearby
during a mild month when lake ice 964 a hefty kick with his snow boot.
querying why his prototype ‘RS-R’ 911 would be too thin, and his tracks feature
rally restomod has leather wrapped impact challenging gradients and slopes that Fancy something more practical?
bars beneath its bumpers is typical of the obviously aren’t possible on a lake. Similar lightweight, lifting and apocalypse-
forthright Dane. As is the geeky follow-up. proof treatment can be lavished (for £30k)
Lots of carmakers have ‘ice driving on a Cayenne: the CS-R.
“Actually to get the correct curve the experiences’ for sale in the northern
metal needed a lot of welds which did not wastes of Scandinavia. You know the drill: He’ll only use the V6s as “they’re lighter
look so nice, so we covered the bars in this an oversized cheese knife bolted to a and better balanced than the V8s”. One
stitched leather.” tractor is used to scratch a wiggly circuit example here has the back seats ripped
into a frozen lake, spiked tyres are fitted out, a hydraulic handbrake and a padded
Kalmar is a car enthusiast, a to the new sports car you’d like to shill, bottle holder fixed behind the driver. The
businessman, and according to Tom and planeloads of thermally insulated owner is a wine enthusiast, and demanded
Kristensen – the nine-time Le Mans wealthy folk wobble out onto the powder a holster for his tipples.
winning co-owner of his burgeoning car feeling like Juha Kankkunen before
firm – “a nerd”. He’s also a handy driver. scurrying back to the lodge for a spot of But Kalmar isn’t content with this
A record holder for the 11,000-mile sautéed reindeer with loganberry sauce. seemingly solid formula for repeat
Nordkapp to Cape Agulhas (tip of business. So what I’ve really journeyed to
Norway to bottom of South Africa) rally, Kalmar’s model is different. One of northern Finland for is an exclusive look
he invites me into a modified Porsche his other businesses is a pre-packaged – and a steer – in the green shoots of
Cayenne ‘CS-R’ to offer a tour of his ice adventure drive agency. Choose your what’ll become Kalmar Automotive. The
driving paradise in Lapland, 110 miles continent, pick a terrain, and enjoy latest company to spring up with a line
inside the Arctic Circle. some loose surface trekking in a prepped in tastefully restomodded Porsche 911s.
air-cooled Porsche 911. This facility is
“F**k’s sake.” He’s irritated someone a winter driving school, staffed by pro The idea is a rear-engined Swiss army
left the traction control on. Banished race instructors and a fleet of charmingly knife that can be set up in the field to scale
with a button prod, he shows me around liveried 964s and 993s armoured with a mountain, cross a desert or demolish a
through the side window. One hand on underbody plates, riding high on massively track day with a tyre change and swift
the wheel, the other pointing out eight upgraded suspension. suspension tweak. This RS-R is still in long
miles of tracks on 272 acres of swamp. range safari trim – hence the roof mounted
These are the Kalmar RSes, and should spare and fuel cans that Jan notes “make it
There are 30 circuit combinations. you find yourself having a Scandi holiday handle like s**t”. Can’t say I agree as it
Every night 10 water trucks brimmed with romance, Jan will build one for you. pendulums through winter wonderland,
40,000 litres wet the surfaces, freezing That’ll be £63,000 – plus donor car. 345bhp flat-six pinging off the limiter.
hard overnight to repair the scars left by They’re exceedingly tough. “If you bust
the studded tyres on his fleet of veteran As with anything properly rallyfied, it’s
Porsches. “We use a billion litres of water the suspension – not the fully carbon-fibre

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