Dork Diaries_How to Dork Your Diary

It was NOT my diary!

I ne ded ANOTHER geometry bo k like I ne ded a hole in the head. Heck, I didn’t understand the
math problems in the bo k I already had.

“Um, thanks. But this ISN’T my bo k,” I mut er d, and handed it back to Mrs. Pearson.

“Wel , take a lo k in the lost and found box. Ther ’s a chance it could be in ther ,” she said
encouragingly.

I closed my ey s and prayed it would be ther .

Please let my diary be in the lost and found!

Please let my diary be in the lost and found!

Please let my diary be in the lost and found!

Then I sighed and walked over to a large cardboard box sit ing in a c rner.

I slowly open d it and careful y went through each and ev ry item.…

ME, SEARCHING FOR MY DIARY
AMONG ALL THE VERY WEIRD ITEMS IN

THE LOST AND FOUND

But unf rtunately, it was NOT in ther .

I bit my lip and tried to blink back my tears.

“Don’t w rry, dear. It’s bound to turn up later today,” Mrs. Pearson said, trying to make me fe l
bet er. “And to make sure we find it, I’m going to post a note alerting al my student of ice
as istants to ke p an ey out f r a bo k belonging to Nikki Maxwel ! Okay?”

That’s when my kne s got weak and my stomach felt so queasy I thought I was going to throw up.
But it WASN’T because of the moldy bol gna sandwich.
Or the dirty rtho retainer.
Or the mat ed hair extension (which was quite disgusting in a peculiar s rt of way).
I sud enly realized my lit le diary problem was probably going to get a lot WORSE bef re it got
bet er.
WHY?!
Because JESSICA HUNTER is a student OFFICE ASSISTANT!
And Jes ica’s BFF is MACKENZIE HOLLISTER!
And ev ryone knows that MacKenzie Hol ister

HATES MY GUTS!!

Even if at some point my diary IS turned in to the lost and found, ther ’s a VERY go d chance
MacKenzie is going to intercept it, read it, and then plaster pages around the scho l—just to make
my life m re miserable than it already is. And ther ’s nothing I can do about it.

Except rush straight to the girls’ bathro m and have a mas ive mental meltdown.…

AAAAAAHHH !!

(That was me screaming. AGAIN!)

NOTE TO SELF

WARNING:

Unf rtunately, parents, brat y kid sisters and brothers, friends, en mies, and ev n total strangers
LOVE to read diaries that do NOT belong to them.

HOW TO DORK YOUR DIARY TIP #4

NEVER, EVER LEAVE
YOUR DIARY WHERE

A NOSY CREEP CAN
SNEAK A PEEK!



If someone caught you writing in your diary, what would you say to trick them? Write four
dif er nt responses below:

Nev r let anyone tel you that ke ping a diary is a sil y r childish thing to do. Reflecting on your
fe lings and experiences is actual y a very mature activity. If someone said something rude about you

having a diary, what would your response be?

How would you disguise your diary? Draw phony bo k covers on the next two pages:
PHONY BOOK COVER #1

PHONY BOOK COVER #2



ENGLISH CLASS, 8:00 A.M.

I was complet ly out of breath by the time I arrived at my first clas .

I frantical y checked around my desk, on the counters, and on the bo kshelves. But ther was no sign
of my diary ! I was like, JUST GREAT!

I col apsed into my seat, closed my ey s, and mas aged my temples, trying to replay yesterday’s
ev nts in my mind.

If I had somehow lost my diary, WHO would have be n around me to find it? I suspiciously ey bal ed
al the potential suspects in my clas ro m.

That’s when I rem mber d that Chloe walked with me to clas yesterday. As usual, she was raving
nonstop about the latest novel she’d just finished. It was cal ed …

“OMG, Nikki! It is the BEST bo k EVER! I could NOT stop reading it.

“This talented artist is obses ed with drawing this supercute guy she had made up in her mind. Then
one day he shows up at her scho l as a new student. And he can read her thoughts.

“The do dle dude se ms real y nice until her crush, Hunk Fin , an ev n cuter guy in her art clas ,
sketches her f r a clas project and shares a double-fudge choc late cupcake with her.

“When Do dle Dude starts acting scary jealous, the artist decides she has no choice but to secretly
erase al her drawings to get rid of him.

“Then she total y freaks out when Do dle Dude steals ALL her erasers so she can’t erase him. And
then he starts eating paper to gain superpowers and i m rtality.

“Nikki, since you’re an artist to , I think you’re gon a LOVE it!”

I was like, “Um, thanks, Chloe. Can’t wait!”

Then she handed me her Deadly Do dle Dude bo k, and I unzip ed my backpack and stuck it inside.

That was probably when my diary accidental y fel out.…

AND CHLOE FOUND IT ?!

I have to admit, Chloe is hopel s ly obses ed with romance novels.

And she’l read just about ANYTHING. Soup can labels. Lip glos tubes.
What if she picked up my DIARY, read it, and LOVED, LOVED, LOVED al the wacky dram ?!
I know this might sound real y crazy …! But what if Chloe actual y turned my very private, d rky
tales of WOE into a bestsel ing bo k series?!
AND a blockbuster Hol ywo d movie?!
Without ev n tel ing me?!!
I’d probably NEVER, EVER get over it. My life would be total y RUINED.
And then, many years later, Chloe and I might just hap en to se each other on the stre t.…

Hey, it could hap en! Why is my life so hopel s ly CRUDDY?!

NOTE TO SELF

Ke ping a diary isn’t just about describing what kind of person you are. It’s also about
DISCOVERING what kind of person you are.

That’s why it’s imp rtant to dig de p and examine your thoughts and fe lings. Be very comf rtable
with writing about YOU!

HOW TO DORK YOUR DIARY TIP #5

IT’S ALL ABOUT
ME, MYSELF, AND I.

If you can answer each and ev ry one of the fol owing questions, you’l be on your way to ke ping an
AWESOME diary.
What makes you real y hap y?

What makes you real y sad?

What’s your big est life accomplishment?
What are you most proud of?
What’s your big est embarras ment?
What’s your big est fear?
Who’s your big est hero?
What do you want to be when you grow up?

What are thre of your fav rite TV shows?
What are thre of your fav rite movies?
Who are thre of your fav rite pop stars?
What are thre of your fav rite bo ks?
What are thre of your fav rite songs?
What’s your fav rite fo d?

What’s your least fav rite fo d?
Who’s your best friend in the w rld?
Who are you hopel s ly crushing on?
Wher do you like to hang out?

FRENCH CLASS, 9:50 A.M.

HELP!! Today is turning into the WORST day EVER!

Right bef re French clas I decided to search al the girls’ bathro ms f r my mis ing diary.

And gues who I ran into?!

HINT: She was lo king in the mirr r, slathering on sev nte n layers of Flu rescent Candy Ap le Blis
lip glos .

You gues ed it!

MACKENZIE HOLLISTER!!

And get this! She was actual y NICE to me.

Which, of course, made me SUPERsuspicious.

Especial y when she bumped into me and then tried to act al in ocent and apol getic, like the whole
thing was just an accident.

“Oopsie! I just bumped into you, Nikki. But it was total y an accident. S rry! I hope you’l accept my
apol gy. By the way, does this lip glos match my shoes?”

I could NOT believ my ears. How dare MacKenzie apol gize f r being a clumsy ox AND ask me f r
fashion advice, al in the same breath! Wher did that girl learn her man ers? Dog ie obedience
scho l? I’m just sayin’!

Anyway, as so n as I le the bathro m, I noticed ev ryone in the hal was pointing and laughing at
me.

And I didn’t have the slightest idea why.

Wel , SURPRISE,
SURPRISE!

MacKenzie had given me a lit le, um, PRESENT.…
ME, BEING PUBLICLY HUMILIATED BY MACKENZIE’S LITTLE PRANK

When I saw her ag in in French clas , I had to restrain myself from sneaking of to the girls’
bathro m to b rrow a rol of toilet paper.
WHY?
Because a very dark and evil side of me wanted to TP her but right ther in the mid le of clas .

Anyway, I was a lit le surprised when she sashayed over to my desk.
“I heard from a very reliable source that you lost your lit le diary. It would be h rrible if al your
secrets got out. So I have some imp rtant news f r you!”
My mouth drop ed open and my heart skip ed a beat. OMG!! MacKenzie knew my diary was mis ing?!
Had she found out from Jes ica ALREADY? My w rst NIGHTMARE was coming true!
And I had a real y bad fe ling about her news.

“Actual y, MacKenzie, it would be news to me if, f r once, you DIDN’T stick YOUR nose in MY
personal busines .”
That’s when she stared right at me with her icy blue ey s.

She glared at me, stuck her nose in the air, and then sashayed back to her desk.
I just HATE it when MacKenzie sashays!
But now I have just TWO nag ing questions:

1. WILL SHE FIND MY DIARY BEFORE I DO?

2. IF SHE DOES, WHAT EVIL, CRUEL, AND DIABOLICAL PLAN
DOES SHE HAVE IN STORE FOR ME? !!

It‘s hard to concentrate on my French les on with MacKenzie ey bal ing me al evil-like from acros
the ro m.

I swear! That girl is going to be real y s rry when



Did I just se Max the Roach on a … LEASH?!
Okay, I give up!
Ther is no question about it.…

I’M DOOMED!! !!

NOTE TO SELF

You nev r know if your diary might fal into the wrong hands. Just in case, make sure you have codes
that only YOU understand!

HOW TO DORK YOUR DIARY TIP #6

WHEN NECESSARY,
GO INTO SECRET-

CODE MODE.

Chloe and Zoey and I always talk about the CCP (Cute, Co l & Popular) crowd and GGG-ing
(gig ling, gos iping, and glos ing). Make a list of codes you and your friends have and what they al
mean.
You could also come up with new meanings f r thes abbreviations, and then no one wil be able to
crack your code!

WCD = Westchester Country Day OR W rld-Clas D rk OR:

LOL = Laughing Out Loud OR Laughing Obnoxiously Loud OR:

BRB = Be Right Back OR Busy Rescuing Batman OR:

BTW = By the Way OR:
OMG = Oh My God OR:
CCP = Cute, Co l & Popular OR:
RCS = Rol er-Coaster Syndrome OR:
TTYL = Talk to You Later OR:
JK = Just Kid ing OR:

NOTE TO SELF

Although you’l spend a lot of time writing in your diary, you can also expres yourself through art.
Try ad ing DRAWINGS, DOODLES, CARTOONS, and COMIC STRIPS. They can be serious, artsy,
emo, r just plain sil y. If you’re a supertalented artist, create a masterpiec . Or try drawing simple
stick people. Or trace your hand and make it into a turkey like you did back in kindergarten. Just
have FUN!

HOW TO DORK YOUR DIARY TIP #7

RELEASE YOUR
INNER ARTIST!

Her is a four-panel comic strip cal ed “My Diary Dram .” (A panel is just another name f r the
box the artw rk is placed inside.)







Now you’re going to make your own four-panel comic strip! But bef re you get started, plan what it
is going to be about.

My comic strip is cal ed:

PANEL 1
Panel 1 wil contain a picture of:

The char cters are saying:

PANEL 2
Panel 2 wil contain a picture of:

The char cters are saying:

PANEL 3
Panel 3 wil contain a picture of:

The char cters are saying:

PANEL 4
Panel 4 wil contain a picture of:

The char cters are saying:

Now you’re ready to draw your own comic strip in the space provided. Have fun !



SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS, 10:47 A.M.

I’m begin ing to think my situation is HOPELESS!

I’ve checked al the hal s, the library, and the cafet ria. AND I just scoured my social studies
clas ro m.

But stil no trace of my diary !!

That’s when I started wondering if maybe someone picked it up by accident.

Who, other than Chloe, did I come in close contact with yesterday?

Wel , that’s a no-brainer! The answer is … ZOEY!!

As library shelving as istants, Chloe, Zoey, and I go to the library during study hal . We gather up al
the library bo ks and place them back on their proper shelves.

I have to admit, I don’t exactly rem mber whether r not I ev n had my diary in the library
yesterday. But what if I DID …?!

OMG! What if Zoey accidental y grabbed my diary while she was gathering that huge stack of
bo ks?

And what if while she was put ing them back on the shelves, she found my diary and READ IT?!
She’d have enough dram to launch her own TV talk show.…

Right now I’m so ut erly frustrated, I fe l like crying.

But mostly I have this very sick fe ling de p down in my gut that I’l probably nev r se my diary
ag in.
I can’t believ this is hap ening to me!

!!

NOTE TO SELF

A diary can be a great place to figure out your future goals in life. Make some of them sh rt-term
goals that you can achiev in a month r les . And make some of them long-term goals that may
take a year r m re to achiev .
Rem mber to ke p track of the ones you’ve accomplished and set exciting new ones.

HOW TO DORK YOUR DIARY TIP #8

DARE TO DREAM
ABOUT YOUR
FUTURE!

List thre things you’d like to accomplish.
Tom rrow:

Next we k:

Next month:

Next year:

GYM CLASS, 11:45 A.M.

I had barely got en out onto the gym flo r when both Chloe and Zoey came rushing over.

“Hey, Nikki!” Chloe said, lo king a bit w rried. “We waited f r you by your locker this m rning, and
ag in a er second period. We started thinking maybe you wer at home sick r something.”

“Yeah, we’re glad to se you,” said Zoey. “Although, to be honest, you DO lo k a lit le down today.
Are you okay?” she asked, giving me a big hug.

I do NOT des rve friends like Chloe and Zoey!

Why did I EVER suspect that my BFFs would find my diary, read it, and then share it with the
entire w rld? I could trust them with my LIFE!

A wave of guilt washed over me. That’s when I decided to tel Chloe and Zoey what hap en d.

I lower d my voice to barely a whisper.

YOU LOST YOUR DIARY?!

I could NOT believ Chloe and Zoey just screamed it out loud in front of the ENTIRE gym clas
like that!

EVERYONE heard it and started staring at us.

“SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

I whisper-shouted. “I was hoping to ke p it a secret! BTW, did I mention that MacKenzie knows my
diary is mis ing? She’s lo king f r it to .”

“Not go d!” Chloe said, scrunching up her face like she smel ed something real y bad.

“Wel , girlfriends, I gues that just means WE have to find it bef re Mis Thang does!” Zoey said,
put ing her hands on her hips.

“Yeah! And MacKenzie and her CCPs are no match f r the thre of us! Right?” Chloe said, giving
me jazz hands.

I was so overcome with emotion, I started to choke up right in the mid le of my jumping jacks.

If my diary is anywher in this scho l, my BFFs, Chloe and Zoey, are definitely the ones to help me
find it.

Maybe things aren’t so hopel s a er al .

!!

NOTE TO SELF

Your diary is a go d place to remind yourself that things aren’t always as bad as you think. You can
use it to plan exciting ev nts and fun activities. Fe ling down?

Che r yourself up by throwing a party and inviting al your friends!

HOW TO DORK YOUR DIARY TIP #9

DON’T BE A PARTY
POOPER! HAVE FUN
CELEBRATING YOU!

Complet the fol owing ex rcise:

IT’S MY PARTY!!

SURPRISE! You are throwing yourself a real y big party because you des rve it.