Cosmopolitan - USA (February 2020)

Emma -









The Your

most
popular new


tıny

girl tat


in the







* movie
traıler
voice *

This Mercury

Retro-
sext
grade.
has Prepare
Valentine’ s
Day.
a

99 thyself.
.2%










success

rate






I s a w E m m a
C h a m b e r l a i n
YOUR WEIRD w e a r i n g a s k o r t ,
s o I b o u g h t
PERIOD IS A a s k o r t
NORMAL PERIOD
The 28-day
cycle turns out
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feb s t o r i e s

c o v e r


ru 58 *movie-trailer





voice* Mercury
ary it fashun. 70 This sext has a
Retrograde.
Valentine’s Day.
Prepare thyself.





rate
but make 99.2% success
Frostbite, 80 Your weird
period is a


O N E M M A normal period—
the 28-day
Zimmermann top
and skirt cycle turns out
to be a scam
O N T H E C O V E R
Alice McCall top and
skort. Oscar de la 102 Curated
Renta earrings. piercings: your
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74 life

88 features

119 shopping



88











E M M A
C H A M B E R L A I N :
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P O P U L A R G I R L
I N T H E
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N E W T H I N G
A L E R T !
Instead of boring ol’ Jess Pels
every month, different editors
are going to take over this page
and show you the BTS of their
jobs. (But because Jess is a Virgo,
she’ll still be here making
Ed letter notes. She cannot stop

herself.)


Edited by EIC Jessica Pels





Plz meet Jessica Goodman, Cosmo’s

first-ever op-ed editor. She’s been on staff as
a senior editor for more than two years,

and this is her first day of her B-I-G new job.
The Cosmo
Art Show


9 A . M .
Real talk? I’m feeling
5 P. M .
so for distraction, Our design team is
I listen to the My




9:45 A . M . take. Three words: no
I have a few things to more mini-moons.
finish for my old job,
2:45 P. M .
I pop into Jess Pels’ Cheetos.
office with execu-
tive editor Sascha de 6:15 P. M .
last meal. Gersdorff and depu- I leave to meet a
ties Rosa and Jen friend for dinner at a
10:30 A . M . Ortiz to get into the Malaysian spot and
I watch the impeach- nitty-gritty of Opera- read Wow, No Thank
ment hearings tion Op-Ed. We talk You on the subway.
(remember those?!) writers we’d love It’s a hilarious new
and Slack with other to work with, juicy book of essays, and
editors about WTF is books we’re hoping I’m eager to chat
even happening and to excerpt, and big with author Saman-
stories we should tha Irby about writing
follow. As soon as I for Cosmo. I make
a note to email her
tomorrow; by the time
news I think my
eyes might bleed.
(They don’t.) (But
they still might.)

1 P. M .
4 P. M .
I love a lunch meet-
ing, and today’s is Once a month, the
with deputy editor Cosmo team meets PELS: T YLER JOE. GOODM AN: RUBEN CHA MORRO. ART ROOM: M ARY FA M A.
Rosa Heyman. We to write cover lines
eat falafel and talk for this here mag. O P - E D E D I T O R
about how op-eds I shout out one @ J E S S I C A G O O D M A N
don’t always have to
be serious. I pitch a
#MyImpact.






6 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

NEW

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S oft bois are t .



Here’s he best bois

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Having a crush on Harry Styles is gonna serve you well, just saying.

B y E M M A B A T Y








8 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

B O I S B O I S B O I S

· ·
Okay,
but what is a
Lemme get
my hands up in softies. They go out of sad boi?
those curls. their way to be nice
Not to
to people, like when
overcomplicate
Timothée brought the
things, but there’s
fans who were waiting
a subset of soft
outside the NYC bois called sad
premiere of The King bois. They are soft
his favorite bagels. but come with
That shit is thoughtful! heavy baggage.
These men repre-
sent a new kind
of masculinity that
doesn’t include a
bod you’re dying to
see in one of those Robert
soaked-T-shirt-style Look, I just know
Pattinson
i n Hollywood, that (as are we—abs and clearly HATES IT.
photo shoots. They’re
totally okay with
there’s a dark, twisty,
gorgeous monster
fade, dimples are
inside this man. You
forever). In fact, it
can see it when he
lets them get you in a
does an interview
there are two
way that performative
leading-guy
archetypes
prevents. Like, they
rn: the like him tend to hang masculinity usually
aren’t going to freak
quarterbacks and Insta caption in 30 around because they out when they see a
the soft bois. (Before seconds or less. are a joy to spend tampon, you know?
you say something They’ve read all the (virtual) time with. And the more you Bradley
like, “That’s way too essential Jonathans: We can never have fangirl over the soft Cooper
simple. There are Franzen, Safran Foer, enough because their bois on your screens, With all that drama
definitely more and Lethem. They’ll appeal is based on the more the men in between Lady Gaga
kinds,” pls read all meet you at a bar their talents, quirky your actual life will and Irina Shayk last
the way through this wearing a logo-less personalities, and (hopefully) get the hint year, he definitely
airtight case.) hoodie that costs je ne sais quoi (that’s and start to replicate has plenty of pain—
The quarterbacks at least $1,500. French for, like, their soft ways. That’ll which I would
are the famous men Specimens include something magical probably make them happily listen to him
you could run up to Lucas Hedges, the about them that only better humans, if only ramble about.
full speed, do that brothers Sprouse, makes sense in French, for the fact that their
Notebook-style Jharrel Jerome, and which, btw, soft bois Insta captions will be
leg-wrap-jump thing, Timothée Chalamet— speak fluently). infinitely smarter.
and have absolutely actors I’d describe as Maybe the best So long live the
no fear of falling. “beautiful” rather thing about soft bois soft boi, and may he
We’re talking the than “hot.” is that they’re actual forever keep making Zayn
brothers Hemsworth, These guys have great, weird, orig- Zayn is too busy
Jason Derulo, Charles *staying power*. Soft bois = the inal, creative stuff, writing delicate
Melton. Take Paul Rudd. He from movies to lyrics about Gigi
Soft bois probably first captured our best cuddlers, music to photog- Hadid to be able to
can’t hold you up (and hearts in Clueless (in raphy Instagram do anything else
they prefer intense, 1995!) and is still probably. accounts. (like tour), and that
GET T Y IM AGES (4). hugs anyway). They everyone. His IMDb Timmy, if you’re · B O I S B O I S B O I S ·
puts him firmly in
charming TF out of
full-body, squeezy
Oh, and
sad-boi land.
can whip up a poetic
page is as long as
reading this, DM me.
a CVS receipt. Men


Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 9

c e l e b



T H I S G A M E W I L L P R O V E
S T A R T
I F Y O U H A V E W H A T I T T A K E S T O
survive









A S E A S O N O F

T H E B A C H E L O R


A.
Best case: You walk away with a Neil Lane rock. Worst Try to remember your
“My name is Alexis, I
case: a FabFitFun deal. B y H A N N A H C H A M B E R S came here from
Texas, I make a
dope-ass breakfast”
rap-rhyme moment.
J U M P T O 2

B. A.
2 C.
Kill her with Hover till she leaves, Rock a head- B.
kindness, but then say you feel bad You’re really vibing with the to-toe unicorn Say hi, squeeze his arm,
give him The for her and the UTI Bachelor (what’s his name getup and say you’ll catch him
Eyes and a she’s been complaining again?) when a particularly speak only in inside...and hope he
subtle thigh pig latin. notices how good your
stroke before butt looks in shiny silk.
J U M P S A Y Y O U R
heading out.
T O 3 G O O D B Y E S J U M P T O 3
game plan?
J U M P T O 4






A. B. 4 A.
3
If that’s what he It’s okay. You’re It’s probs a good moment
Oh, dear god. wants...you’re here for the Time for a serious to open up about how
gonna throw right reasons. convo while you try your ex really wounded
started an all-out girl this rosé on her That’s the to ignore the rose you...by filing a restrain-
brawl got the First- tacky mermaid catchphrase, between your dinner ing order. It was all a
Impression Rose. gown. right? plates. Have any- misunderstanding!
How ya feelin’?
S A Y Y O U R
G O O D B Y E S
B.














5








A.
6
Your dad comments
B.
Your sister pulls
Wow, who would have guessed on how tight your LINDSAY: SPL ASHNEWS. ALL OTHERS: GET T Y IM AGES.
you’d leave this journey with the Bach aside future husband’s
1.4 million Instagram followers. to say that she’s jeans are and then
Oh! And a new fiancé! You’re literally never spends all of dinner
seen you this
so ready for marriage...and asking how he’d sup-
happy.
all that #sponcon. port you financially.
S A Y Y O U R
G O O D B Y E S



(With a quick stop at
10 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020
the Fantasy Suite!)



c e l e b



C E L E B
P L A Y L I S T
Penn Badgley made us the




most intimate playlist ever





The You star has deep thoughts on classic bops.

B y H A N N A H C H A M B E R S





5. “This song was, like,
the campaign of Gos-
From his AirPods sip Girl season 1. They
to yours played it repeatedly while
we were shooting the
pilot. Listening to it feels
Pavane Pour Une like another dimension.”
Infante Défunte
1
BY M AU R I C E R AV E L 6. “I’ve wanted to live in
Brooklyn since I was 12
because of Mos Def. I
Life was never really from a
2
BY SA BA place—I just continued
moving. He says, ‘It ain’t
where you’re from, it’s

Angels
3 We made a whole new
BY C H A N C E TH E R A PPER
way to watch T V....Go to
Cosmopolitan.com/You-Watch-
Part y to get our exclusive BTS
Somebody to Love
scoop while you binge You S2.
4
BY Q U E E N
where you’re at.’ Now,
I’ve been in Brooklyn
Glamorous
5 longer than anywhere.”
BY FERG I E
7. “This is an obvious
guilty pleasure. It’s such
a Top 40 dance number.
Love
6 Top 40 is like an empty
BY M OS D EF
plastic bag, but Bieber’s
an example of it being
good. Nothing but love
Sorry for him.”
7
BY J US T I N B I E B E R
8. “It feels like right now.
1. “My You character,
It’s about profound love
Take Me to the Light Joe, carries a sadness take that very seriously, and, at the same time,
with him when he sees and this song helps get
BY FR A N C IS A N D TH E standing up against the
8
L I G H TS W I T H B O N I V E R something gorgeous—it’s me there.” strangeness of the times
A N D K A N Y E W ES T what fuels his mania.
3. “When I want to we live in.”
I listen to this to get in
feel amped, this is a
touch with that—it’s 9. “This one is all about
Send It On phenomenal option.”
achingly beautiful.” adoring someone
9
BY D’A N G ELO
4. “Queen has always unconditionally. It’s just
2. “People talk about Joe so encouraging to me. I
It’s a like ‘He’s a stalker’ or been good for cheer-
B O N U S
T R A C K ! bop, ing me up. This one has really derived spiritual SHAYAN ASGHARNIA/AUGUST IM AGES.
Toxic okay? ‘Oh, he’s a bad guy.’ But sustenance through
10 he’s a murderer! I need a desperate humor to
BY BRITN EY SPE A RS it. Or...there is humor music as a teenager.”
to get in touch with expe-
in its desperation.”
riencing death, loss, and 10. “Phenomenally
specifically homicide. I crafted.”


12 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020



c e l e b




I N S T A
Morning
I T I N E R A R Y
zen
I went on You just know Meghan
met each day with a
Meghan doesn’t have to book in
booked-in-advance sun
salutation. Okay, she

advance, but I did, and
even though I’m typically
Markle’s floating water bungalow.
more “bottoms up!”
than “downward dog,” I
loved getting bendy in a


vacation The resort’s entrance.

I know!!!


Always knew I was born
to be a royal, TBH.

B y T A Y L O R A N D R E W S
Beaching
it up

The first time I woke up Like any duchess, I
at Half Moon Montego spent most of my free
time lounging on a
Bay in Jamaica, I legit
chaise underneath the
thought I was dreaming.... never-too-many palm
Is that a beach right out trees. The water was
my window? Do I live here so clear that I could
look down and see...
now? Is this a shirtless my chipped pedicure.
Prince Harry still asleep (What? Duchesses
in my king-size bed? So can also get too busy
for pre-trip pedis.)
“Harry” turned out to
be an origami elephant
the staff made out of
tiny towels, but the real
prince and Meghan Becoming
*did* stay here mere
equestrian
months before they got
engaged. And while Seeing as I’m a Kansas
girl, it was kind of
the tight-lipped staff weird that I’d never
wouldn’t answer my been on a horse before.
(many) Qs about what But seeing as riding is
literally the most royal
the couple did (“OMG,
activity ever, I saddled
did Meghan dry off with up. I was placed on a
this beach towel?!”), I horse named Pika by
spent three days living my guide, Sheldon,
who I pretended was
just like them. the spare heir himself.



Saying
cheers
Dressing I’m just guessing, but I

the par t might’ve had a frozen
bevvy or four more than
Inspired by the lewks on Megs did when she was
MM’s many fan accounts, here. I was following
I stuffed my bag with proper etiquette though:
demure midis and flirty Jamaica is known for its
patterned dresses. And rum, so I was obligated ALL IM AGES: COURTESY.
obvi practiced my “wave to indulge at the
and smile” in the mirror swim-up pool bar (and
before venturing outside. everywhere else).




14 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

limit”
an adventurous sunset coral
the
that says, “sky’s




















































































new flying solo collection

reach new check your check in to fl ying free to one way you do without in plane
heights baggage check out solo roam for one blue reservations view













America’s nail salon expert. since 1981.

c e l e b







FYI, there’s an archive of everything


your favorite celeb has




Liked Twitter @ArianaGrande Liked
on



Let’s explore it, shall we? Sage @Arianaenae
Omg ur pregnant A R I A N A
L I L N A S X
B y E M M A B A T Y
@ArianaGrande the G R A N D E
T H E S U B T E X T gates !!!!!
T H E S U B T E X T
This self-own
proves that the Liking a tweet
A few weeks ago, as about her
yeehaw-loving
I was trolling Rihan- rapper is humble “babyproofed”
na’s tweets instead Lua 19-3 when it comes to home shows
of doing my actual @LuadoLebron his bad dance that Ari is totally
happy to flood
job, I discovered The kid behind you is a moves—and the internet with
pretty much
the Likes tab, just better dancer than me agrees with hot gossip about
chilling there in the and you together strangers that herself. She
knew this would
navigation bar. Um, he’s not the next stir up endless
CLICK. There for my Timberlake. “Ariana Grande
viewing pleasure Is Preggo” stories
was everything RiRi and she went
had ever hearted: for it anyway.
Congrats to her
an absolute gold @KylieJenner Liked on playing us all.
mine of Parmesan Bailey Johnson @BaileyJohnson97
memes, vids poking Just reminiscing on the “To Our Daughter”
fun at her beauty
line, earnest odes
I love it K Y L I E
to Barbados. And
suddenly, it felt like @ChrissyTeigen Liked J E N N E R
we were...friends? Tyler McCall @EiffelTyler T H E S U B T E X T
I’m now incredibly Listen, NO disrespect to @JohnLegend who is The fact that
close with all my a perfectly sexy human being on his own, but Kylie hearted
I know in my BONES he got that largely on the this line about
famous crushes— power of association with @ChrissyTeigen and
and I finally *get* THAT is the kind of energy I am trying to bring friend Jordyn
their personalities. into my own relationship
See for yourself.
C H R I S S Y checking her
T E I G E N mentions. This

is a random
@Lizzo Liked T H E S U B T E X T
L I Z Z O She lovingly posts
That Bitch @HotGirlDegu tweet has no
T H E S U B T E X T Travis has been with his about her family, engagement,
but in her spare
Lizzo is a side chick for years. Mean- time, Chrissy’s also meaning Kylie
straight-up while, y’all were screaming the head cheer-
conspiracy “goals” at him and Kylie


and I’m pretty LIL NAS X, GR ANDE, LIZ ZO, TEIGEN, JENNER: GET T Y IM AGES.














Hurts,” I’m a
believer too.





16

B E Y O N D R O M A N C E




R A L P H L A U R E N











# B E Y O N D R O M A N C E

e a u d e p a r f u m

experience
beyond romance




B E Y O N D R O M A N C E




R A L P H L A U R E N



































































































e a u d e p a r f u m

L I V E B E Y O N D . L O V E B E Y O N D . G O B E Y O N D .


# B E Y O N D R O M A N C E
experience romance
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c e l e b

I called F R I D A Y -


N I G H T
Josh Segarra P H O N E
C A L L



after dark and it was very hard not Catching a couple of quick quotes
from an actor on a red carpet?
That’s cool, I guess. At Cosmo, we
to ask what he was wearing prefer to dial up our crushes after-
hours, when they’re all alone and
Okay, fine, I did. B y E M I L Y T A N N E N B A U M not even thinking about work...
kind of like a phone date. Or, I
mean, a totally professional, offi-
cial, important interview.
Which is how I found myself
spending an intimate evening
chatting with the hottie from the
RuPaul drama AJ and the Queen
(Josh is also the seriously toned
corrections officer in Orange Is the
New Black) about takeout, sweat-
pants, and his competitive edge.



So where are you Clemente hoodie—my
right now? favorite ballplayer of
all time.
I’m actually in a little
outdoor alcove in Sounds cute. Is there
my apartment in anything I’m tearing you
Montreal. I knew away from tonight?
we’d be talking, so I
I don’t want you to
wanted to sit back
judge me on this, but I
in the most relaxing
love video games. I’d
part of my place.
either be playing
I love a cozy night in. Madden or NBA 2K or
FIFA with my buddies.
Yeah. I’m usually fin-
ished shooting around I bet you’re pretty
T YLER JOE. ST YLED BY ANN WANG. GROOMING: M AT THEW TUOZ ZOLI AT SEE M ANAGEMENT.
9 p.m., so my wife competitive.
and I just chill. We
love ordering takeout. Oh, yeah. My wife and
SANDRO JACKET. 7 FOR ALL M ANKIND SHIRT AND JEANS. CONVERSE SNEAKERS.
We’ll get some Indian I are really into Fantasy
food—some naan, Football too. She might
some chicken tikka spitball some ideas off
masala, you know, get me for trades, but we try
some rice and some not to help each other
mango chutney. We’ll out too much. We’re
probably spend 35 both chasing the title.
Are you there, Josh?
minutes looking for a What happens when
movie to watch and one of you is losing?
then call it a night.
When it’s her, I hold
Wow, same. I’ve got
my comfy clothes on.... her tight and kiss her
It’s me, a v thirsty writer.
What about you? and say it’s gonna be
okay next week. That’s
I’m in gray Nike what she does for me
sweats and my favor- too. But I secretly get a
ite hoodie from a little joy out of it when
company called Base- I know she’s getting
ballism. It’s a Roberto mad about her team.





Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 17

y o u




















Okay, so the way you’re




reading this mag right now







~reveals~ something about you




Like whether you’re just skimming. (Busted.)


B y C A R I N A H S I E H
















































Yeah, they
might be
avoiding
you....
















T YLER JOE.




18 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

If your fingers are up here: You pride yourself on knowing everything. No wonder your friends use you as their personal Google.






W H A T
T H E S E

O T H E R
H A B I T S
M E A N







If you start at
the beginning
“It’s like this for a
reason.” —You, at
least twice a week







If you start
at the end
You lurve being
different. You
might even read
backward just to
If you fold it over... If you lay it on your lap... *look* different.
Honestly, though,
You’re the type to show up right before the two- Teachers called you out for texting in class, but you it’s working. Clout.
minute Uber grace period runs out and announce charmed your way out of any actual detention. Now
yourself like you’ve been waiting for hours. P.S. We you consistently leave your 9-to-5 at 4:45 because
see you thinking about bailing on the rest of this page. your boss thinks you’re the cutest (because you are).



If you take out
the subscription
cards first
You’re all about
cutting to the
chase—only
the essentials
matter. Related:
You use Gmail
auto responses,
like, all the time.









If you keep
those cards in
FOMO is slowly
destroying your
life. What are you
waiting for? Just
use them, dude.




H O W W E
If you spread it on a table... If you double-fist it up high... K N O W

Reading this from your corner office? Hell yes you You often mistake genuine compliments for shade.
Karen Donaldson,
are! A flat lay–esque strategy suggests you pay those Holding a mag like this signals that you’re a lil defen- body-language
credit-card bills on time and own work presentations sive (even while consuming delightful content)...or expert and public-
like J.Lo at any given awards show. you’re, like, legitimately hiding. Either way! speaking coach





If your fingers are down here: You’re clutch at multitasking. In fact, your texting-and-walking skills are legendary.

y o u






Are you T H AT


Your instinct says no, but your
person on the plane? bare feet say yes.

B y H A N N A H C H A M B E R S





B E H A V I O R S

Tally up all the offenses you’re
guilty of—be honest!


Whipping open the Passive aggressively
window shade for knocking your
a sunrise Boomerang neighbor’s elbow to
A D D 4 P O I N T S claim an armrest
that isn’t really yours
A D D 2 P O I N T S

Clapping when the Choking everyone out
plane lands because with the stench of your
you survived mild urgent nail polish
turbulence touch-ups
A D D 4 P O I N T S A D D 4 P O I N T S

Sticking your bag in a Making yourself right
bin up front because TF at home by walking
you’re too lazy to down the aisle barefoot
drag it all the way like you own this plane
back to your seat A D D 3 P O I N T S
A D D 3 P O I N T S


Applying the goopy Making shameless
face mask you #PlaneContent like
somehow got through you’re a travel influencer
security even though (FYI: you’re visiting your
it’s 3.5 fluid ounces aunt in Kansas)
A D D 2 P O I N T S A D D 3 P O I N T S

Snapping a pic for Quoting “I’m ready to
Twitter of someone else PAAARTAY” from
doing something gross Bridesmaids (srsly,
A D D 2 P O I N T S it’s 2020)
A D D 5 P O I N T S R E S U L T S


Dropping SkinnyPop Sleeping through your
0 TO 13 POINTS 14 TO 30 POINTS 31 TO 46 POINTS
crumbs all over the super-loud birth-
place like Hansel control alarm for a Literal Not, like, Actual
and Gretel solid 15 minutes dream the worst monster
A D D 2 P O I N T S A D D 4 P O I N T S You’re the Someone’s Where are you
kind of person really on their even traveling

Charging your phone Obsessively looking who just looks sock-removing, that you have
in the bathroom over your shoulder at like they smell nail-polishing, enough time
because you happened the rando sitting next good. When bathroom- to be this
to notice an outlet last to you to see if they people see you hogging disruptive? Is
time you were in there noticed the sex scene waiting in line agenda. Acti- The Princess
and still need to edit a in your in-flight movie at the gate, vate your Diaries a
few vacay IGs A D D 1 P O I N T
they hope and self-awareness movie option?
A D D 3 P O I N T S
pray they’ll switch, put Make Julie
be sitting next away your Andrews your
Flossing your teeth Playing Candy Crush to you. toes, and we’ll life coach.
A D D 2 P O I N T S with the sound on
all be fine. ILLUSTR ATIONS: LEE WOODGATE.
A D D 2 P O I N T S









20 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

MORE







COVERAGE







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Rely on GEICO



to help you with




property and



car insurance.














































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y o u


T H I S = T H A T
What your


middle school hair





reveals about your future



Remember that time your BFF cut your side bangs? Yeah.... B y S A R A H W E L D O N





Choppy,
straight layers
Your love for punk rock
morphs into an obsession
with EDM. You’ll move
to Colorado, plan your
life around raves at the
Red Rocks Amphitheatre,
and score a sweet job
T AY L O R A N D R E W S R AY D E N E H A N S E N A N N W A N G
Middle part a s sist a n t s e x & re l a t io ns hips e dit o r s e ni o r v is u a ls e d it o r f a s hi o n e d it o r running a CBD company.
You’ll make your first We see you on the cover
million by inventing a of Forbes as America’s
DNA-based dating app. Chillest CEO.
Your “F*ck Your Glass
Ceiling” Facebook group
has millions of followers, Ombré
which sparks your run
for POTUS in 2028. Your You’ll snag a 9-to-5
platform: a four-day as a buyer for a much-
workweek. loved department store.
K I A G O O S B Y R O S A H E Y M A N L A U R E N A D H A V But your real passion
f a s hi o n e d it o r d e p u t y e d it o r a s s o c i a t e f a s hi o n e d i t o r will be designing and
selling kitchenware
A swoopy featuring lyrics from
side bang Lizzo and Kesha songs.
Your future best seller
Future you quits your
job to run your dog’s is a pie pan that says,
Instagram account full “I’m 100% that dish.”
time, which will be a Bravo, fam.
huge success! You’ll
land an anchor spot on
a morning show, where Chunky statement
J E N N A A N D R E W S A S H L E Y O E R M A N A N D R E A Z E N D E J A S
you meet your very hot, s e ni o r v is u a ls e d it o r d e p u t y lif e s t y l e d ir e c t o r f a s hi o n e d it o r headband
very helpful bae, who
becomes your assistant. Although a literal prince
He and your fur bb proposes to you, you’ll
propose to you end up getting hitched to
on Instagram Live. your on-again, off-again
college boyfriend in a
very ~fashun~ wedding
dress. You stay close
Boob-length with all your old besties,
strands including your childhood
maid. And every time
Any day now, you’ll
M A R Y F A M A C H L O E M E T Z G E R R U B Y B U D D E M E Y E R hatbands come back into
realize the corporate a r t d ir e c t o r s e ni o r b e a u t y e d it o r b e a u t y e d it o r
world is not for you and style, you cry tears of
decide to “eat, pray, joy. You’re Blair Waldorf.
love” your way through
the rest of your 20s.
By 30, you create a
naked yoga studio C O S M O
franchise that holds only
morning classes. You Y E A R B O O K
call it Wake and Nake. Yes, this entire
story *is* a subtle
drag of our 2007
K A T I E C Z E R W I N S K I C A R LY C A R D E L L I N O V A C C A R O R A C H E L J O H N S O N
m o t i o n d e si g n e r b e a u t y d ir e c t o r s e ni o r d e si g n e r hair choices.


22 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

Trademarks owned by Société des Produits Nestlé S.A., Vevey, Switzerland.

y o u









C O S M O Q
This is the kinda V-Day




you’re really having




And my god, kudos to every Cosmo reader

who chooses the 14th for a first date. B y S A R A H W E L D O N




P L A N S T H A T
O H H E Y ! Do you actually do Valentine’s Day? D O N ’ T S U C K
Wanna weigh
in? Follow us on 58% 25% 17%
Twitter for our If I’m in a Starting February 1, I would rather
next poll. serious I only eat heart candy vom. I know “I went to a Fift y
Shades Freed
relationship, and buy drugstore that’s harsh, but
yes! stuffed animals. yeah. screening by myself.”

And your ideal plan is
what exactly? “I made a pillow
fort in the living
66% room, ordered a
Maybe something chill with Would you 77% 15% 8% ton of sushi,
my S.O. involving be upset if Low-key, yes. I’d be upset It’s a deal stocked up on
takeout and doing the sex. your lovah But it wouldn’t if they breaker, and bubbles, and
didn’t want to ruin us. wanted to. I don’t care watched movies.”
27%
celebrate? who knows it.
A fancy dinner. It’s a
classic for a reason. “My mom and I
got sauv y-b-drunk
Pls apologize and ate chocolate-
to this chocolate
immediately. covered fruit.”


“Ever y year, I fall
asleep by 9 p.m.
alone in my bed.
7% It’s glorious.”
IDEK, but my roommate
will probably make me watch
“I dumped
When Harry Met Sally....
my ex-boyfriend
via text.”



Okay, but what about
Galentine’s Day?
Have you ever
scheduled a first date
*on* this day?
59% I’ll go to a party
if a friend hosts one.
59%
I’m not a masochist!

21% I feel nothing about this. 36% F E B
Buy me 14
pizza and DANIELLE DALY; ST YLED BY MIAKO K ATOH.
I might be 5%
20% I am Leslie Knope; open to it. More than
Leslie Knope is me. once, TBH.








24 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020



y o u

Which “It was about the pasta, James.”




Vanderpump




Rules star MOSTLY A’S
Giggy

Drama? You got
is your petty the wrong gal. You
just sit back, relax,
and let the chaos

t win? play out in front of
you. After all, it’s
kind of hard to be
upset when people
We don’t make the rules, Bravo Andy does.
call you cute and
provide snuggles
B y T A Y L O R A N D R E W S
24/7.




1. The waiter drops
off the check at your
coworker’s birthday
dinner, and someone
suggests an even MOSTLY B’S
split. You... Lisa
Vanderpump
a Hand over my CC.
And next time, I’m Most of the time,
going for the $$$ you’re super mature
entrée. and above childish
fights. But your
b Pull out a pen, grab
judgmental side
the receipt, and Albert
comes out when
Einstein this bill into
people don’t meet
eight lil bills. Justice
your standards.
for all.
b That time my work wife What, like it’s
c Venmo the host for took a lunch break hard?
my smol, sad salad 3. Your roommate without me. Rude.
left an empty toilet-
and tip. I won’t be
paper roll on the c When bae made me a c Say, “I heard he’s using
held accountable for dispenser. You… ham instead of turkey
Debbie’s truffle fries. you to make his ex
a Pop on a new one? Is sammie. Do they know jealous.” That’ll shut it
me at all? down.
2. You just found out that bad, or...?
that your OG BFF b Get some TP from MOSTLY C’S
and middle school under the sink, rip off 5. Your friend won’t 6. Ugh, you weren’t Jax Taylor
crush made out—and a few squares, then STFU about her new invited to a pre-
kept it a secret for put it back. situationship. When game because your You love to weigh in M AIN IM AGE AND TAYLOR: CHARLES SYKES/BR AVO. VANDERPUMP POINTING: NICOLE WEINGART/BR AVO. GIGGY: GET T Y IM AGES.
10 years. You… she brings them up frenemy is hosting. on things that don’t
c Keep a secret stash of again, you... You... involve you at all,
a Feel shook but not
Charmin in my room a Feel her pain. Wel- because mess fuels
mad. What that a Get drunk at home solo
for this very occasion. come to dicksand your soul. The next
tongue do, queen?! and Pinterest.
Sharing is overrated. land, friend. time you feel like it’s
b Wait until we’re out, b Show up anyway and your responsibility
b Count the times she
then sob after two avoid her.
4. What’s the most says their name, then to call out your
Tito’s and sodas. objectively dumb make her take that c Shadily call her out on nemesis’s bad
c DM her high school ex. thing you’ve been many shots. social. Then break up Facetune, delete
mad about? Twitter, call your
That’s fair, and he’s with every friend who
still hot. a Last week, my mom attended. therapist, and eat
made me schedule some beer cheese.
my own dentist
appointment.




26 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

A V A I L A B L E A T

D R E S S T H E P O P U L A T I O N . C O M / C O S M O P O L I T A N

MEDIUM COOLING


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6 PIECE

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12 CUP MUFFIN MEASURING


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SPATULA | $9.99





10” BALLOON


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D E L I S H E S S E N T I A L S . C O M

y o u


The leap year


extra-day to-do list






you didn’t know you needed



Feb 29 is just a very good excuse to do a
bunch of stuff you already want to do anyway!

B y A S H L E Y O E R M A N


Order a
second bowl
of guac.



Buy cheese you Definitely
can’t pronounce get bangs.
from the good
part of the store.
Slide
into Tyler
Invest in a Cameron’s
teeny-tiny tattoo DMs.
literally no one
can see.
Get a savory
and a sweet
entrée at
Send that brunch.
double text.
Order a
venti under
Pour a bottle the name Pay someone to
rid your ride of
of wine into a “Khaleesi” sad, dirty floors.
water bottle and because it
drink it at the suits your
nail salon. vibe.
Book a keratin
treatment.

Go engagement-
ring shopping
regardless of Thank your
your relationship college towels
status. and sheets for
their service and
put them out of
their misery.
Subscribe to
CA MERON AND GUAC: GET T Y IM AGES. WOM AN: CAROL A DE AR M AS/
Disney+ so you
can binge Lizzie
McGuire for the Convince Mom
next month. to do your taxes.
BL AUBLUT- EDITION.COM. ICED COFFEE: COREY M AY WALT.
Purchase a really, Make out with
Post a bikini really expensive
beach pic from vibrator in the bae at a bar
literally three name of self-care. like they’re a
years ago. You Finally hot rando.
still look good. organize
your apps
by color. Unfollow that
girl from high
school trying to
sell you shit.








Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 29

have to

won’t heavy coat at the bar.

I my
bc carry
Smiling

































J U S T


T R Y I N G T O

get to






the club 1




Ta l l b o o t s
W I T H O U T Okay, so you H-A-T-E
tights. I get it! These
babies’ll never snag
freezing weird drop crotch
or get that super-

that drives you
crazy all night, but
your gams will still
M Y A * * O F F , be covered. Bonus:
They look killer with
T H A N K S minidresses.




I.e., how to look hot
when it’s annoyingly cold.

B y L A U R E N A D H A V






GET T Y IM AGES.






30 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

©J&JCI 2020

2
A j a c ke t
a s a d r e s s
Layering is *usually*
key, but if it’s snowy
outside and hot as balls
in the bar, you’ll want a
do-it-all coat that dou-
bles as a dope frock.




7 For All Mankind, & Other Stories, Retrofête, $715,
$295, 7forall $219, stories.com revolve.com
mankind.com

Copping this exact lewk for Saturday night, wow.



















3
S o c k s a n d s h o e s
Snow boots don’t scream “club,”
but hosiery ’n’ heels sure do.
The extra inches of fabric stop
toes from turning into lil icicles.






5
M a x is o r b ust
















Zara,
$70,
zara.com








4
H a t s o f f, a h e m, o n
Heat escapes from your noggin, ppl!
Trap it in with a chic beret or an
edgy baker-boy hat that doesn’t take
up space on the dance floor.



Boohoo
.com, $16, ALL STREET ST YLE: GET T Y IM AGES.
us.boohoo
.com
$45, pretty Kangol, $55, Lack of Color, $149,
littlething.us
kangol.com lackofcolor.com



32 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020



THE NEW FRAGRANCE


























LIF T HERE lancome.com

f a s h i o n

Can I please convince you that

square-toe shoes are cute?





Surprised at how stylish these are when you see ’em? Same. But facts are facts!


B y L A U R E N A D H A V









2


1 ICYMI, it’s officially

3



the ’90s again.




5














4
7




10






6

9
H A T E







12

Such square.

Much flat.



DANIELLE DALY; ST YLED BY MIAKO K ATOH. 8 11 2. Jaggar The Label, $172, us.fashionbunker.com.




1. Alias Mae, $210, aliasmae.com.au.
3. Yuul Yie, $675, yuulyie.com. 4. LMS, $220,
lmsthebrand.com. 5. Reformation, $178,
thereformation.com. 6. Aldo, $90, aldoshoes
.com. 7. Dorateymur, $475, dorateymur.com.
8. Wandler, $470, wandler.com. 9. Rag & Bone,
$525, rag-bone.com. 10. Nomasei, $340,
nomasei.com. 11. Staud, $375, staud.clothing.
12. Schutz, $185, schutz-shoes.com




Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 33

f a s h i o n



Your official checklist of must-dos before


adding cart
to






~Insider secrets~ that will make you a shopping genius. B y L A U R E N A D H A V









A ll. Th e. Trick s.



Keep an eye out for vidz.
Stylists often pin and clip to make clothes fit

models perfectly, but 360-degree loops show
exactly how your purchase-to-be will look IRL.
You don’t have time for games!

And another on the models.

If they’re an extra-small but wearing a

medium for a boxy lewk, consider ordering

a bigger size too. Also worth the mention:

Brands that show products on a range

of body types are typically A+ on tailoring.

Fit issues? Not their (or your) prob.
Go in on those customer pics.
Scroll alllll the way down. That’s where you’ll find
shots of actual ppl in the blouse you love and get
a sense of whether the buttons’ll gape and show
everyone your bra. (Been there, my friend.)

Check the cleaning rules.

If an item says “dry-clean only,” “lay flat to dry,”
or “hand-wash cold,” that’s enough info to help
you decide if it’s worth the extra inconvenience.
man knit sweater.
(Hint: It’s probs not.) Harsh but real. Sorry to this


Say it with me: Google knows all.
Feel good about splurging on a chic wrap dress?
Good! But a quick hunt on the Goog (brand +

specific product name) might help ya find it

on another site for cheaper. Don’t @ me, but

pretty sure search engines were invented for

savvy shopping.
s o you went HAM online, but to Wear This! (And Other Lies I Told Myself).
Be honest with yourself. Really.

That one-shoulder embellished top = way extra,
but you’ve also never seen anything more beauti-
ful? Check your closet to see if you can find
multiple pieces to pair it with—or if it’s just gonna
when your haul arrives, that
end as another footnote in your novel, I’m Going
super-cute midi is actually
Hold a moment, pls.
a maxi and...it looks like a
garbage bag. And by you, your cart for up to two weeks. As more inspo
Before clicking “purchase,” let the merch sit in
I mean me, because this is a regular hits, you can add to your bag, helping you meet
occurrence in my life and I’m sick impulse buys. AND this may save you $$$ if any
free-shipping minimums without collecting rando
of being burned! It ends now! Let’s of your choices happen to go on sale. ILLUSTR ATION: LOUISA CANNELL.
both promise to stick to this list and
never f*ck with return labels again! missed the fine print. You’re better than that.
READ. THE. RETURN. POLICY.

Don’t be stuck with a god-awful skirt bc you




34 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

“The Kicker” “The Flamingo” “The Irish Stepdance”







































However you sleep,



you’re protected.



Always Overnight pads have a


75% larger back* for up to 10
hours of protection while you sleep.



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“The Gecko” “The Starfi sh” “The Doggie Paddler”

































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f a s h i o n



H O W T H E E F F D O I W E A R T H A T ?

Cargo pants but not



the kind your dad wears






Fashun pockets! B y L A U R E N A D H A V
DO
BOTH


A matching jacket
makes it feel
very Intentional
Dressing.
ON THAT
On MARY FAMA,
art director,
9-TO -5
@MaryFama

When in doubt,
go (silky)
monochrome.
So profesh. So
pretty.

On ROSA
HEYMAN,
deputy editor,
@Rosa_Heyman

















WHO, COMIN’ IN
HOT
ME?


Uhh, did you
Balance out the know they
baggy with a make LEATHER
tight, cropped cargo pants?!
sweater for Now you do.
that off-duty
model sitch. On MEGHAN
ALLEN, associate
On RUBY producer,
BUDDEMEYER, @_TheMoog
beauty editor,
@RubyBud T YLER JOE. ST YLED BY KIA GOOSBY. HAIR: CEE RUZ ZIELLE. M AKEUP: JENNIFER NA M FOR DIOR BEAUT Y AT HONEY ARTISTS.









More pockets > fewer pockets. These are the facts.




On Mary: 3.1 Phillip Lim jacket, $695, pants, $450, 31philliplim.com. Amur bodysuit, $288, amur.com. Tamara Mellon boots, $595, tamaramellon.com.
Lizzie Fortunato earrings, $195, lizziefortunato.com. Montunas bag, $495, montunas.com. Jennifer Fisher ring, $195, jenniferfisherjewelry.com.
On Ruby: Cotton Citizen top, $125, cottoncitizen.com. The Group by Babaton pants, $128, aritzia.com. Nike sneakers, $195, nike.com. Jennifer Fisher ear-
rings, $500, jenniferfisherjewelry.com. On Meghan: Alix NYC bodysuit, $375, alixnyc.com. Zara cargo leggings, $40, zara.com. Alexander Wang heels,
$750, alexanderwang.com. Kendra Scott earrings, $68, kendrascott.com. Dior bag, $160 for one-week rental, bagromance.com. Alexis Bittar ring (right hand),
$225, alexisbittar.com. Odette New York ring (left hand), $138, jcrew.com. On Rosa: Maggie Marilyn top, $350, maggiemarilyn.com. Allen Schwartz pants,
$395, allenschwartz.com. Jimmy Choo heels, $650, jimmychoo.com. Aster earrings, $37, rocksbox.com. Gabriela Artigas necklace, $360, gabrielaartigas
.com. Gorjana ring (pinkie), $55, similar styles at gorjana.com. Bar Jewellery ring (middle), $195, barjewellery.com. Elleme bag, $540, brownsfashion.com




36 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

The only thing missing is the sugar.
















































Peanut Butter Cups

*
0g sugar, 2g net carbs




















And no, you don’t even have to be


‘doing Atkins’ to Endulge.






















atkins.com
*Not a low calorie food.

f a s h i o n

The exact sticky bra for




your complicated V-Day dress




Math that’s actually helpful. B y L A U R E N A D H A V




B A C K L E S S S T R A P L E S S C U T O U T S
O N E - S H O U L D E R S E E -T H R O U G H





























O N E
T H I N G
Dry skin before
application =
stickies that stay
all night.


















F R O N T C L A S P N I P P L E C O V E R S C L E A R H O I S T E R S D R A W S T R I N G S I L I C O N E L I F T S
Keep those girls together Don’t wanna bare all? Stick these on, then use the The tighter the laces, the Want separation *and*
with a handy clip. Use these subtle bbs. tabs to lift a lil higher. deeper the cleave. lift? Say no more.

T R Y Nordstrom Lingerie, T R Y Nippies, T R Y Deceny CB, T R Y Rose LeMarc, T R Y Miilye,
$60, nordstrom.com $25, amazon.com $16, amazon.com $15, amazon.com $16, amazon.com





























PrettyLittleThing, $40, House of CB, $195, Alix NYC, $475, Majorelle, $158, Rixo, $470, ILLUSTR ATIONS: SANCHI OBEROI. GET T Y IM AGES (5).
prettylittlething.us houseofcb.com alixnyc.com revolve.com rixo.co.uk




38 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

Careful, that new phone might come



with more than you bargained for.











The big wireless companies use new phones to trap you with
an expensive plan. Don’t put up with that! With Straight Talk
Wireless, choose from the latest phones without getting locked
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f a s h i o n

Surprising ways to tell when



a trend is on its way out






Gather round to mourn the loss of...anything that falls in these categories.

B y R A C H E L T O R G E R S O N a n d L A U R E N A D H A V



O U : “Oh, It’s in kids’
hello, sneak- stores.
Your mom
ers with ugly- Sorry, children. You
starts to notice
bulky soles. are our future, but
I’ve seen lots it’s A Thing. your clothes are
Listen, some matri-
of very cool always at least a sea- D E N I M I S
archs do “get it,”
people wearing you. son or two behind ( A L M O S T )
Should I buy you too? but most aren’t (still cute tho!). If F O R E V E R
watching NYFW That boilersuit
But wait, you have been you’re seeing a lewk you’ve been HATBAND: T YLER JOE. WOM AN IN WHITE JUMPSUIT: BL AUBLUT EDITION. ALL OTHERS: GET T Y IM AGES (4).
shows or paying
around for a while... everywhere in outfits eyeing? Snatch it
maybe you’re actually attention to what that could fit an up—yes, even on
influencers wear sale. Jean fads
(gasp) over???” 8-year-old, stop and
on the daily. So if consider the cost. stick around for a
U S : Breathe. And use they’ve caught on looong time
these secret signals to to a trend, it’s T M I N U S : 6 M O N T H S because they’re
determine how long a likely not long for just so wearable.
trend has left and the this world.
exact moment—down to T M I N U S : 7 M O N T H S
the month!—it will be
officially dead.





























C O S M O ’ S

O F F I C I A L


R A N K I N G

O F C U R R E N T

T R E N D S

In order of
staying power




1 2 3 4
5
G O N N A B E H E R E AW H I L E P U FF S L E E V E S H AT B A N D S P R A I R I E D R E S S E S N E O N S Q UA R E -TO E S H O E S





40 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

There’s an Wait...
Instagram or
Twitter account A R E T R E N DS
B U T I F I T ’ S E V E N S T I L L
dedicated to it. A B I K I N I . . . R E L E VA N T ?
A trend with an Bathing suits tend to
Celebs start “@” has reached have longer life I’m glad you asked—
wearing the spans (IDK why this is because it does
opposite thing. peak market satura- true, it just is), and seem, right now, like
tion. Get in on it everything is in. Big
If you are contem- patterns and styles A Q U I C K
very quickly or that may seem old in N O T E O N ’80s shoulders?
plating purchasing C O L O R S A N D
you’ll look dated. regular life—you Early aughts snap
teeny-tiny sun- know, when you’re P A T T E R N S hair clips? Victorian
glasses but notice T M I N U S : 3 M O N T H S , not submerged in Super-specific collars? All here, all
T O P S printed items, like a
that famous people water—still feel fresh leopard midi skirt, great. Which is
definitely different
are now wearing It’s turned into in one- or two-piece have a shorter shelf from ye olden times,
giant face shields, form. Add another life than animal
Halloween year onto beachwear when there’d be
best to leave those costume inspo. that fits into any of print in general. So two, maybe three,
if you’re unsure,
mini frames in the When this happens these categories. consider staying in big, trackable trends
display case. at any given moment
(cough, VSCO the same family but (hi, Juicy velour
T M I N U S : 4 M O N T H S girl, cough), most switching it up a bit. tracksuit). Back then,
( I F Y O U ’ R E L U C K Y ) As in, go for neon
people are ready to you could count on
orange instead of
fashion to be
r-o-a-s-t a look vs. hyper-trendy neon cyclical—like, you
wear it seriously. green or a giraffe could safely store a
Sorry, we only or tiger print ’70s-style jumpsuit
share because instead of leopard. in your closet
This will tack
we care. knowing it’d come
two more years back in 20 years.
T M I N U S : 0 M O N T H S — onto your
T H I S W A S D O N E purchase’s fate.
Y E S T E R D AY Now, the cycles are
faster and—how do I
put this lightly?—on
crack. On top of all
the aesthetics
happening at once,



new-new and




pinpoint what,



here *bats




FYI, it’s 2020!).













just yet. Keep
wearin’ it with

are, it’ll have


real soon. — R T



7 8 9 10
6
T I E - DY E S O C K S N E A K E R S M I N I B AG S “ U G LY ” S H O E S A L M O S T G O N E





Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 41

f a s h i o n


Knit sets





are the only


sets I care about




Sweaters but for your whole body.

B y L A U R E N A D H A V


Dit ch the
sle eves
Welcome
everyone to the
Rise and gun show (jk
shiiine but not really)
with a tank and
Wear a knit
matching midi.
jacket as a top
or use it to layer. COS top, $115,
Matching pants skirt, $125,
cosstores.com
required, obvi.
Knitss jacket,
$515, pants,
$300, knitss.com



T H E
T R I C K
For LIMITLESS

mix and match
all these tops and
bottoms.


Ooh, fuz z y
and pink
Your regular
sweats wish
they had the
Same! Fluffy!
Texture! as
these.
Boohoo.com
set, $33,
us.boohoo.com















And with
~p at t erns~
“The Best of Both
Worlds” was really
Ke ep it
about mixing cropp e d
horizontal and DANIELBRUNOGR ANDL/BL AUBLUT- EDITION.COM.
vertical stripes in High-waisted
one ’fit. The more flares + a torso-
Also works with minis you know. baring turtle =
one v non-boring
Gray may make you think ML Monique
“loungewear,” but it’s Lhuillier top, winter lewk.
~elevated~ in skirt and mock- $295, skirt, Victor Glemaud
$295, Neiman
neck form. sweater, $475,
Marcus
pants, $895,
PrettyLittleThing set, $55, prettylittlething.us saks.com
42