Cosmopolitan - USA (February 2020)

NEXT
LEADING
TM
BRAND LEAKGUARD BRAID





















































MORE THAN




MEETS THE EYE






Bm l mbf^ mh ]bm\a ma^ e^Zdl' :g] `^m TM
Ikh\m^k @Zf[e^% Bg\' +)*2 ma^ ikhm^\mbhg h_ hnk E^Zd@nZk] ;kZb] '

b e a u t y

































Condolences to
your roommate
for the mess.






















































H O W T O D O
A T - H O M E H A I R
C O L O R T H E W A Y

P E O P L E W I T H
perfect at-home








hair color D O I T FROM LEFT: JA MES WOJCIK/TRUNK ARCHIVE; GET T Y IM AGES.

A legit salon-worthy dye job for, like, 5 percent of the $$.


B y R U B Y B U D D E M E Y E R




44 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

n combines various dyes T H E




and developers (chem-
icals that activate the
dyes) to get you to
o lie,
F A V O R I T E
explains Meri Kate
I’ve your dream shade,” I N T E R N E T ’ S
O’Connor, colorist at A T - H O M E
been box-dyeing my
Tabb & Sparks Salon
hair since the sixth H A I R C O L O R S
in Santa Monica,
grade (shout-out to
California. “With box
my purple emo phase
dye, you’re working
and my cool mom who T H E B E S T F O R
with one dye and one
let me go there!). So L O N G - L A S T I N G
developer—it’s a one- C O L O R
10 years later, I can Think of box dye as
size-fits-all situation.”
confidently say that I
So set some real- the perfect way to
know my way around
istic expectations— ~tweak~ your hair color.
a bottle of hair color—
and while you’re at it,
and that I’ve made
ignore those mislead- L’Oréal Paris
literally every imagin- Superior Preference
Fade-Defying
able fuckup along the ing swatches of faux Shine Permanent Hair
hair dangling next But how long does
way. See: the time I Color, $10,
to dyes at the store. it actually last? lorealparisusa.com
stained my ears with
Instead, think of box color—but not, like,
permanent dye. Also: The answer, in three
dye as the perfect way cover any grays.
the time I bought the parts:
to ~tweak~ your hair “Demi-permanent is T H E B E S T F O R
wrong formula and
color, whether that great for people who C O V E R I N G G R AY S
ended up with a S E M I - P E R M A N E N T
means upping shine or want to amp up their
flaming-red bob. These dyes last
adding some dimen- existing color—like
The truth is that at- 15 washes, max.
sion. And commit to making chestnut-brown
home hair color *can* “There’s no developer,
this rule: Limit your at- hair richer and shin-
be a hot mess—but it there’s no hydrogen
home dyeing to two ier—for three to four Schwarzkopf Keratin
can also be the best peroxide, there are no Color Intense Caring
shades darker or half weeks without having Color, $10, target.com
(for your bank account chemicals—the color
a shade lighter than noticeable roots dur-
and your hair). And just sits on the hair’s
your natural color. ing a grow-out phase,”
since the directions surface,” says Patricia
“If you’re going says Slattery.
on the label will only Slattery, AVP of hair T H E B E S T F O R
get you so far, I’ve darker, you have a color education, H Y D R A T I N G
good shot at getting P E R M A N E N T D R Y H A I R
compiled all my hard- training, and testing
the color you see on “These dyes are
earned hacks right at L’Oréal Paris.
the box, since you spiked with ammonia,
here. You’re welcome. P.S. If a box’s fine-
aren’t taking anything print instructions tell which, when com-
What you see away from your base you to mix anything bined with hydrogen Garnier Nutrisse
isn’t what you get color,” says O’Connor. at all, the dye is not peroxide, penetrates Nourishing Color
“But if you’re trying to actually semi-perm deep into the cortex of Creme, $8, drugstores
So your chances of
go a lot lighter, your and will last closer to your hair,” says Slat-
re-creating that exact
room for error sky- 28 washes. Confusing, tery. The result: long-
shade you loved on rockets.” Also impor- lasting color that fades T H E B E S T F O R
Insta are, sadly, kinda yes (and why I’m here
tant: Shades labeled for ya!). sliiightly over time R O O T
low. “When you get
“warm” or “golden” (kinda like a black T O U C H - U P S
your hair done at a often end up look- T-shirt every time you
salon, your colorist ing orange (turns out, D E M I - P E R M A N E N T wash it) and needs to
It’ll blend a new
amateurs can’t really color with your natural be touched up every
control “warmth”), so four to six weeks as
DpHue Root Touch-Up
always opt for “cool” your roots grow in. Kit, $30, ulta.com
or “neutral.”




Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 45

NURTURE


YOUR NATURAL



BEAUTY. Good news! You

actually can
highlight your
hair at home

Especially if your
natural color is dirty
blonde or lighter. Just
make sure to use at-
home highlighters
only on your hairline. 3 D Y E light base (aka you’ll
“Focus on the area J O B S Y O U need some bleach)—
around your face, J U S T without that, nothing
where your hair is much will show up.
C A N ’ T D I Y
naturally the light- J E T B L A C K
est,” says O’Connor. Only for true at-home
It’s also much easier P L A T I N U M savants—or those
to manage, since you Even if it’s technically prepared to live with
only a shade lighter a dye job gone very
can actually see what
than your base. Noth- wrong. Once you
you’re doing. (I’m per- ing is worth the risk of go this dark, you’re
sonally obsessed with burning off your hair kinda-sorta stuck with
Clairol Nice’n Easy or scalp (!). it until your hair grows
Balayage for Blondes, out all the way.
T R E N D Y C O L O R S
$15, ulta.com—it is
Hues like soft pas-
so simple to use and tels or bright neons
looks v natural.) require starting with a








Helllllp! I hate my new hair color


I F I T ’ S N O T I F I T ’ S I F I T ’ S
D A R K E N O U G H T O O D A R K O R A N G E
Wait a couple of If you used a Welp, you’ll
weeks until you permanent dye, get unfortunately have
can safely try thee to a hairstylist. to wait for it to
again—even the If you’re dealing grow out, but you
healthiest of with a demi- or can tone down
strands can’t deal semi-perm job, the Cheeto a
with multiple rinse your hair bit by swapping
®
C H A P S T I C K T O T A L H Y D R A T I O N rounds of dye in twice with a your regular
Tinted Lip Oil Collection one sitting. clarifying shampoo shampoo for a
(Meantime, maybe to lift out some purple formula and

6 Sheer Ways to Shine invest in a nice pigment. Look for using a color-
hat?) Then try one with stripping depositing mask.
Vitamin-infused Formula another round of sulfates or “SLS” at And no, for those

the *same* dye— the top of the of you thinking,
using a new color ingredients list I could just go
will leave you with (they’re super harsh darker, you can’t
a shade that’s way but great at getting hide orange hair
off—and check it rid of color). Make with, say, dark
GET T Y IM AGES.
every five minutes sure you follow with brown. You’ll just
before rinsing. a deep conditioner. end up brassy.


Available at


©2019/2020 GSK Group of Companies or its Licensor



b e a u t y








4
Read 2 S O M E
5

B O U N C E
3
this 5 strip embedded in
That mini rubber

the frame must be
before ~cushiony~. The

flexible material
helps your lashes
buying absorb pressure
and allows the
curler to spring
your open quickly after

each use.

next



eyelash Stardust Lash
Lash Star

Curler, $25,
nordstrom.com
curler





Alllll the musts 2
A M E T A L
that make up the
F R A M E
perfect gadget.
Metal not only lasts
B y C A R L Y C A R D E L L I N O longer than, say,
V A C C A R O plastic that could
crack, but its weight
also provides more
stability. Meaning, 4
1
no more shaky tools T H E R I G H T
S T U R D Y
1 millimeters from S H A P E
H A N D L E S your cornea.
Sounds minor— You know how you
shop for shoes that
like, you use this support your high
thing for only a 3 arches (or total
few seconds, who A W I D E - lack thereof)?
cares if it’s a little E N O U G H Same thinking
flimsy? You. You O P E N I N G goes for these
care. Because if
Pinched eyelid babies: the flatter
your fingers can’t or rounder your
get a nice firm skin = stuff of eyelid shape, the
hold, you could nightmares. Your
curler should be flatter or rounder
lose your grip and your curler needs
also a bunch of the width of your to be.
lashes ( ). full lid and easily
fit all your
lashes inside. JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO D; ST YLED BY ELIZ ABETH OSBOURNE.






Dior Back- GSQ by Glamsquad
A L S O G R E A T ? stage Eyelash Eyelash Curler +
Curler, $25, Comb Set, $12,
T H E S E G U Y S dior.com cvs.com









48 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020 SOURCE: CELEBRITY MAKEUP ARTIST VINCENT OQUENDO

OPEN YOUR EYES



TO BAMBI EYE



YOU’RE WORTH IT.








NEW






LASHES ENHANCED WITH LASH INSERTS





MASCARA



INSTANT EYE-OPENING RESULT,
















WIDE- EYED




B R U S H









©2020 L’Oréal USA, Inc.
FIND INSPIRATION ON @lorealmakeup

b e a u t y



So this is how long you can




*actually* keep your makeup




Hey, hi—your makeup bag? With the lipstick from high school?

Toss that sh*t before it becomes a biohazard. These guidelines from
cosmetic chemist Ron Robinson are your new life manual.

B y C H L O E M E T Z G E R

T I M E F R A M E

M O N T H S 6 M O N T H S 12 M O N T H S 18 M O N T H S
Y O U R
0
H E A D S

Mouths. Are. Busy. Your lip color can U P !
K
C L I Q U I D only stay “clean” for so long when you
re-dip and re-swipe on the daily.
I
T
S
P
I B U L L E T
L
1. Storing your
makeup in the
bathroom is a
A
R hard no. Heat and
A humidity can cause
C A N Y K I N D The closed, wet tube = a cozy breeding ground for eye-infecting faster bacteria
S germs. Mascara’s also got a short life span because...
A growth, shortening
M expiration dates
even more. Instead,
leave it in a dry
W C R E A M place, like your
- O bedroom.
E D ...your eye area can harbor a lot of bacteria,
Y making eye-product contamination risks higher.
E A
H
S P O W D E R 2. Don’t f*ck with
your eye area.
Get yourself a spray
The more moist the makeup, the bottle and mist
N faster it’ll expire. But powders your shadows and
O don’t last so much longer, thanks brushes with
I L I Q U I D to constant contact with your antimicrobial
T
A water-based skin-care products. rubbing alcohol
D every few weeks.
N
U P O W D E R
O
F
3. Both pencil and
gel liners can
harden from
R exposure to air.
E P E N C I L Use a clean
N Its tips spend lots of time mingling with eye sharpener (as in
I fluids (gross but true), leading to potentially
L soap-and-water-
E infectious circumstances.
Y scrub-scrub-scrub
E L I Q U I D clean) once a
week to keep them
linin’ like new.

Preser vatives in blush help protect it from
your skin’s own germs. Once they stop
C R E A M working, you’re left with a super-cute petri JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO D; ST YLED BY ELIZ ABETH OSBOURNE.
H
S dish that’s bound to break you out.
U
L P S A !
B These rules don’t apply
P O W D E R
to “green” makeup,
which is made without
traditional preservatives.
Take the expiration dates
on the packaging
seriously, okay?


50 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020



b e a u t y









A N I N S I D E R ’ S G U I D E T O . . .


concealing every kind





of acne Very necessary intel from the experts’ experts.



B y A M A K W A R T E N G


















































































GET T Y IM AGES.












52 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

T R Y


MVPs for every
acne haver




Bright-red
pimples
1
Whiteheads Don’t try to bury these in a ton of
Popping these bbs (sooo makeup—they’ll just look weird
tempting!) makes them harder to and cakey. Use a color corrector
cover. Stick a clear hydrocolloid (green if you’re fair; yellow or
2
pimple patch right over one, then orange if you’re medium or dark)
smooth a tiny dot of thin liquid designed to counteract redness
concealer onto the patch to make and/or discoloration. Then add
it nearly invisible. (Emphasis on a cream concealer on top.
“tiny”—excess product can get
T R Y
gunked up around patch edges.) 3
7. Dior Fix It 2-in-1 Prime &
T R Y Color Correct, $36, dior.com
8. Bobbi Brown Instant Full
1. Hero Cosmetics Invisible+ Patch, Cover Concealer, $31,
$18 for 39 patches, herocosmetics.us bobbibrowncosmetics.com
2. BareMinerals BareSkin Complete
Coverage Serum Concealer, $22,
ulta.com 4

Open wounds


Spray a liquid bandage on a
Blackheads Q-tip and apply it to the erupted
zit. It’ll dry down into a clear,
No extracting! Squeeze and you’ll
protective layer that keeps germs 5
be left with a bunch of open pores
out—and is a lot less noticeable
and an uneven, difficult-to-conceal than, you know, putting an actual
surface. Instead, slather on a mat- bandage on your face. Once it’s
tifying primer with salicylic acid. dry, use your fingers to tap long-
It’ll blur spots and help dissolve wearing concealer on top. 6
them over time. Finish with an oil-
free foundation and you’re g2g. T R Y
7
9. Nexcare Liquid Bandage, $9,
T R Y amazon.com
3. First Aid Beauty Hello Fab 10. Dior Diorskin Forever Undercover
Pores Be Gone Matte Primer, $28, Concealer, $34, sephora.com
sephora.com 8
4. L’Oréal Paris 24HR Fresh Wear
Foundation, $15, drugstores


Scabs

Pat a silicone-based primer
Raised bumps directly over the crusty area and

let it set for two minutes. Silicone
Hold ice on the mini mountain
creates a film that softens and 9
for five minutes, then dab on
smooths, meaning it gives
hydrocortisone cream (the combo
will bring down redness and cover-up an actual chance. Then 10
use a stippling brush with densely
swelling). Next, apply a matte
packed, fine bristles to smooth on
concealer on top of and around
a waterproof concealer.
the bump, scroll through Insta for
20 minutes to let it set, and use T R Y
your fingers to lightly blend it out. 11. Maybelline New York 11
FaceStudio Master Prime Hydrate +
T R Y Smooth, $10, drugstores
5. Aveeno 1% Hydrocortisone Anti- 12. Sephora Collection Pro Small
Itch Cream, $5.50, drugstores Stippling Brush, $15, sephora.com
12
6. Covergirl Clean Matte Concealer,
$5, ulta.com



SOURCES: MAKEUP ARTISTS MELISSA STREET (@EPICMAKEUP) AND ROBIN BL ACK (@BEAUTYISBORING)


Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 53

P R E S E N T E D B Y N E O C E L L



F O U R
O N E How long does it take
you to get dressed?
What are you typically
There are three doing right before bed? a Like, 45 seconds. That’s
all the time I have.
a Swiping through dating
types of morning apps and sipping on b Just a minute or two. I
laid out my outfit last
guzzling a glass of pinot.
night, so it’s ready to go.
b Writing tmrw’s to-do list c IDK, 15 minutes? I’ve
people. Which and applying my multi- gotta try on a few things
step skin-care routine.
c Sitting on my couch in to see what goes best
with today’s vibe.
one are you? a sheet mask, avoiding
blue light so I can actually
get some sleep.
F I V E
Obvi, the one who prefers weekends—but that’s, like,
What’s for breakfast?
all of us. Let’s go a bit deeper and also find out T W O a I...just...need...coffee. Plz.
what could take your daily routine to the next level.
Hi! It’s your alarm! b A protein bar I stashed in
Right this way, please.... You… my purse.

a Smack snooze until I will c Something homemade
literally lose my job if and Insta worthy.
I don’t get going.

b Jump up to pull on my
leggings and hit the gym. S I X
c Calmly roll out of bed, Where do you
stretch, and think of three
glow up?
things I’m grateful for.
a Probably in the restroom
at work.

T H R E E b Post–sweat sesh at the
gym (while answering
Before work, you make emails on my phone, ofc).
sure to do a quick…
c My bathroom, aka my
a Sniff of my armpits to see
if I can skip the shower. palace of nontoxic
Yup, we good. products. I burn a nice
candle and jam to my
b Skim of the day’s happy playlist.
headlines plus a passage
from the productivity
book I’m reading.
c Meditation and yoga
sequence.





MOSTLY A’S MOSTLY B’S MOSTLY C’S
The Daybreak The Early The Relaxed
Diva Overachiever Riser
Whatever kind of riser you
are, NeoCell’s Collagen Welp. You tried. But You’re basically a You live for clean
Protein Peptides can help let’s face it: You’re traveling one-woman beauty, healthy
you supercharge your a.m. just never gonna be show living out of your eats, and organic
The powder dissolves easily on time. (Good thing damn bag, because everything, and you
in beverages and food to you’re worth the wait.) the only thing you carry that zen through
help you achieve beautiful, Make your mornings a have time for are your your entire day.
hydrated, GLOWY skin from little easier by mixing #goals. For breakfast, Everyone else hates
the inside out. NeoCell’s Unflavored try a grab-and-go you just a little bit,
Collagen Protein smoothie that you but you’re too busy
Peptides into your can infuse (relax, it getting genuine joy
coffee. At least you’ll takes two secs) with from whipping up açai GET T Y IM AGES.
show up (you know, NeoCell’s Mandarin bowls with NeoCell’s
eventually) energized Orange Collagen Pomegranate Açai
and ready to go! Protein Peptides for the Collagen Protein
extra boost you need Peptides to care.
to keep hustling.

Beauty has a power source. You.


Our Super Collagen Powder helps

nourish your inner beauty by


supporting healthy collagen formation

to reveal youthful skin, healthy hair

and nails. Available in Unflavored,


Berry Lemon Flavor and our NEW

French Vanilla Flavor to feed your


beauty from the inside out.†

























NEW LOOK!
SAME GREAT
FORMULA



Ask Alexa to add NeoCell Collagen to cart.

#LetYourYouOut




† These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. ®
© 2019 Everest NeoCell LLC NI-45839 T R U E S C I E N C E O F C O L L AG E N

b e a u t y









Sh t stole from the
we
*


beauty closet this month




Our editors test every product
ever...but these are the ones

we’re sneaking home.






T H E U LT I M AT E
FA C I A L
“No offense to all
the gooey, serum-
filled sheet masks of
A P E R F E C T LY the world, but I go
S P I C Y the rich and creamy
F R A G R A N C E route. And this bb is
loaded with linseed
“So, rose is a
wildly polarizing extract to firm skin
and fade spots.”
scent, one that I
— R U B Y
honestly used to turn
B U D D E M E Y E R ,
up my nose at. But b e a u t y e d i t o r
this blend smells
Lancôme Rénergie
almost peppery with Lift Multi-Action Ultra
just the right touch Mask, $15 for 1,
nordstrom.com
of floral—no rose
overload, as its
name might lead
you to believe.”
— C A R LY
C A R D E L L I N O
VA C C A R O,
b e a u t y d i r e c t o r
Dior Miss Dior
Rose N’ Roses,
$80, dior.com
T H E
L I G H T E S T-
A S U P E R - W E I G H T
Q U I C K H A I R F O U N D AT I O N
T R E AT M E N T
Will you “My ideal combo of
“As in eight seconds... accept this tinted moisturizer
and that’s it. I comb rose? and foundation!
this through my clean, T H I S O N E - S T E P
N A I L P O L I S H It melts right into
damp hair, count to my skin, giving me JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO D; ST YLED BY ELIZ ABETH OSBOURNE. M ANICURE: ADA YEUNG AT BRIDGE USING ESSIE. AUR ATE RING (MIDDLE), $150, AUR ATENEW YORK.COM. TAI JEWELRY RING (INDEX), $25, TAI JEWELRY.COM. JENNIFER
eight, then rinse—and “It requires no base sheer coverage and
end up with shiny, or top coats, legit a glow that looks
silky (but zero percent dries in one minute like I’m wearing the
weighed-down) hair.” (I timed it), and looks Paris filter over my
— L A U R E N B A L S A M O, completely opaque entire face.”
s e n i o r b e a u t y e d i t o r after one coat. Thank
—A M A K WA R T E N G,
L’Oréal Paris Elvive you for this miracle.” b e a u t y a s s i s t a n t
8 Second Wonder — C H L O E M E T Z G E R , FISHER BR ACELET, $70, JENNIFERFISHER JEWELRY.COM.
Water, $10, drugstores s e n i o r b e a u t y e d i t o r Covergirl Clean Fresh
Skin Milk in 640
Essie Expressie in H I , Dark, $10, drugstores
Throw It On, $9, W E ’ R E O N
essie.com Y O U T U B E !
Head to Cosmo’s
channel to see us
rec our closet steals
in real time.



56 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

#NoFalsiesFebruary








DITCH YOUR FALSIES THIS FEBRUARY
Simply apply GrandeLASH-MD once a day while you hibernate
this winter for longer, lush looking natural lashes by spring.






























































Visible Lashes* Looking Lashes* Looking Lashes*


More 97% Healthier 94% Longer 91%











Cruelty-Free | Vegan | Ophthalmologist Approved | Eyelash Extension Friendly

Available at Sephora, Ulta Beauty, Macy’s, Amazon & GrandeCosmetics.com


Follow us on Instagram! @GrandeCosmetics


*Based on a 12 week consumer study. Results will vary.

a s t r o














flames back around,
i f you’re any- saying that this is the
and it goes without


absolute worst time of
year for that one ex

thing like me
lutely cannot stand
(aka single your partner abso-
to show up.
and toootally fine
So, yeah, if you’re
with it, why do you
boo’d up, this Valen-
ask?!), then this time
tine’s could be a
of year is always a
rough one. Make your
big headache. But
reservations way in
2020 is gonna be
advance, set as many
a little different.
reminders as you can
Because it’s everyone
to pick up those flow-
else’s—as in couples’—
ers, block who needs
turn to freak out,
to be blocked, try to
thanks to some crazy
keep calm, and cross
astro weather.
Let’s just Venus is in Aries, your fingers. You’ll be
pretend none fine…if you’re lucky.
of this is its weakest position,
happening, making commitment Only the
mmkay? sound boring and
arguments more com- toughest single
mon. And since Aries’ will survive,
egocentricity rivals basically.
Leo’s level of self-
centeredness (love
(And now I need to
you, Leos!), compro-
take this moment to
mising with bae will
say that for singles,
be *very* hard. So if
Valentine’s Day might
you’re in a relation-
be...finally kind of
ship that has any
great? All the plane-
~issues~ at all, things
tary action spells a
are just going to get
perfect time for
more volatile.
flings—and some of
There’s more! Mer-
the best sex you’ll ever
cury Retrograde starts
have. So if you’re
on February 16th, but
looking for a little fun,
it will be craaawling calling up an ex or
How survive its way out of its pre- having an exhilarat-
to
shadow phase (the
sometimes equally ing one-night stand is
not a bad idea. In
this year’s V-Day dark period before an fact, it’s a good idea.
actual Retrograde) on
V-Day. Meaning: It And also a little some-
thing called justice.
might feel like all your
astro-pocalypse probs are piling up Happy Valentine’s

out of nowhere in a Day, everyone! *evil
laugh*)
single day.
Skip the greeting-card aisle and
Mercury Retro-
head straight to an underground bunker.
grade is also infa-
AL A MY.
mous for bringing old
B y J A K E R E G I S T E R



58 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

a s t r o l o g y





Y O U R F E B R U A R Y



H O R O S C O P E
B y J A K E R E G I S T E R








A R I E S T A U R U S G E M I N I
(03.21– 04.19) (04.20 – 05.20) (05.21– 06.20)
Your social life is poppin’ and you’re Your crew in a weird place? The fix: Good news, bad news, good news,
looking fire thanks to Venus, planet of GTFO. Mars in Capricorn, starting Gem: You’re getting a fat bonus
love and beauty, hanging out in your February 16th, sets you up for a six- direct-deposited to you—but don’t
sign. But things will get chill on February week window of opportunity to leave splurge it all. Surprise bills are wreck-
18th when moody Pisces season starts, town and escape the dramz. Just ing your shit in early Feb. You need to
making you feel kind of invisible (hello, double-check, um, everything so that do some extreme couponing to keep
is no one paying attention???). Don’t Mercury Retrograde doesn’t mess up, until another financial win hits at
sweat it though. All eyes are still on you. with your travel plans! the end of the month.









C A N C E R L E O V I R G O
(06.21– 07.22) (07.23– 08.22) (08.23– 09.22)
I know you’re not a fan of surprises, The first half of the month is amazing You’re hooking up with all the first
but, well, too bad: Your job is wildin’ for your love life, so live it up! Then dates your Google Cal can handle,
out on you in ways you didn’t *record scratch* Pisces season starts but Mercury Retrograde makes it so
expect. Hang up your soft pants and on the 18th, putting you rock-bottom that most of them don’t stay around for
cancel your standing Seamless deep in your feels. Try to keep moody long. It’s fine. Once you find someone
order. You might need to travel for behavior to a minimum, though, espe- you click with (as in someone who
work. At least you’ll have a hottie in cially at the office. Now’s the worst likes organizing as much as you do),
your DMs welcoming you home! time for your claws to come out. it’ll be the start of something major.








L I B R A S C O R P I O S A G I T T A R I U S
(09.23–10.22) (10.23–11.21) (11.22–12.21)
Listen, you’re drowning in work, but Once Pisces season starts in mid- You want nothing more than to get
love could soon be landing on your February, those cranky, introverted outta the house rn, but this month’s
to-do list. Venus entering Aries on vibes you’ve been struggling with go Pisces energy is keeping you locked
February 7th is lighting up your dating *poof* and your love life starts thriv- inside—with drama from your roomies
sched, and you’re def getting puh- ing. Buuut Mercury Retrograde also and your fam. Breathe. When things
lenty of action...maybe from your shows up on February 16th, so don’t get rough, your crew’s here to swoop
sexy coworker?! Reminder: Your expect to find the LOYL. Flings are just in and save the day. If any sign can
office probably has security cameras. fine for you right now, bb. survive this, it’s you.








C A P R I C O R N A Q U A R I U S P I S C E S
(12.22– 01.19) (01.20 – 02.18) (02.19– 03.20)
Life is about to get hectic. First up, an Wanna get rid of all the Pisces-season HBD, babes! Your love life, social life,
electrifying hookup that will jolt your moodiness killing your vibe? Buy and self-esteem are all glowing up.
love life around February 2nd. lunch for your boo or surprise your Nothing can get you down—not even
Casual. The rest of the month, you’re squad with their fave Starbs orders, Mercury Retrograde in your sign.
busy 24/7, but Mercury Retrograde even if it’s your b-day. Venus entering A big bonus this month is, well, a
isn’t making it easy. Luckily, Mars Aries on February 7th = new friends literal bonus. Venus in Aries on
enters your sign on February 16th, and more cuties sliding into your DMs, February 7th promises to give your
giving you the energy to keep going. so you’re thriving. cash flow a big glow-up too.






Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 59

a s t r o l o g y


Why you should date



someone you’re not astrologically



“compatible” with





Sun signs are for amateurs. B y A L I Z A K E L L Y


3 Embrace



tension
There will be areas of
your charts that
scream compatibility
(any Moon and Venus
correspondences are
especially romantic)
Opposites attract, amirite? (Please don’t eat me.) and others that, uh,

don’t (Mercury and
Mars, for instance,
can be combative).
But! In astrology,
points of conflict are
not necessarily nega-
tive. Tension can
propel momentum and
encourage you to shift
your perspective
(basically, it helps you
sort out your shit).


4
So you swiped
right. The first Calm TF
date was *good*. down
Then you casually Listen, if your overall
hunkered down to 2 compatibility just isn’t
stalk them on Find looking great, it’s
social and figure patterns fine. Try to flex your
Let’s take a look at empathy muscle
out their sign the planets in poten- anyway—after all,
and...you’re, like, 1 tial boo’s chart: The in—and how they even better-than-a-
the opposite of Make them Sun reveals their interact with the background-check
soul mates, text Mom external preferences, planets and signs in birth charts don’t fully

according to the To really figure out the Moon governs your own chart. As decode our complexi-
internet. Time to compatibility, you’re their emotions, a general rule, fire ties. At the end of the
block them for- gonna want to see Mercury rules com- signs (Aries, Leo, day, astrology is
their birth chart. And Sagittarius) and air
ever and avoid munication, Venus is about compassion,
a doomed rela- to get that, you need associated with love signs (Gemini, Libra, ya know?
the exact time and Aquarius) vibe well
tionship? Eh, do and values, and
place they were born. together, while earth
this instead. Mars symbolizes sex
Better than creepily signs (Taurus, Virgo,
soliciting strangers drive. Notice which Capricorn) and water
sign each planet is
(i.e., their parents) for signs (Cancer, Scor-
this info: having them pio, Pisces) have a GET T Y IM AGES.
ask Mama directly. ~special connection~.




60 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

W H A T Y O U R M O O N S I G N S S A Y



A B O U T Y O U A S A C O U P L E

Like love languages but deeper. B y A L I Z A K E L L Y








A R I E S T A U R U S G E M I N I C A N C E R L E O V I R G O L I B R A S C O R P I O S A G I T T A R I U S C A P R I C O R N A Q U A R I U S P I S C E S

You both Caaaa- So differ- Lots of Heads turn Y’all are NGL, Maybe not
use
when
A R I E S outdoor Uh-oh You might Dramz 4 aaareful actually enviably you’re out living in could be worth all
ent it
things
this
cry a lot
dayz
voices there works! bomb sex walking luxury awk drama?
only together
You don’t The best You’re in
10/10 resolve You get pairing for Yiiikes, love...with Meep! So. Yours
T A U R U S three-day A perfect for tension recom- argu- almost too roomies! your argu- Ehhhh couch Little. In. aren’t the
Prepare
Those
would
along
best
match
25/7
fights tho
mend ments. well Just ments suck chilling Common. vibes...
Like, ever roomies! together
FWIW,
You guys, You’ll Your sexts Y’all are Immedi- You’ll do you’ll
G E M I N I your *shrugs* with the always hookups = Pulitzer unstoppa- honey! ately into Hahahaha anything never for-
Hot goss is
Oof,
The best
NOPE
nonstop
to stay
brand
texting! want more worthy ble each other together get each
other
Great...if Ina and When it Uhb- You actu- On each
Peak
11/11
Don’t
Warning:
C A N C E R May cause recom- satisfac- from both you like Garten– works, with each misunder- complete nerves, never be
other’s
You’ll
So many
Jeffrey
ally do
sessed
expect
jealousy
would
lots of
it’s so
heart-
break mend tion. Ever sides emotional level cute romantic other standings each other way too bored
pain often
Your rela- So fun! The rela-
tionship = Friends This You two Until the Tension... Grow tionship
from
Power
every-
needs
L E O one’s fave struggz with ben- *could* Weird, but are the life really Omg, the but make it each work...but
it works?
hookups
be a big
of every
messy
soap nies status mistake party breakup sexy other a could
lot
opera work
Y’all are
The defini- neat Always You bring If you can’t
V I R G O with Super Lotsa *chef’s tion of freaks with You talk, nitpicking out the make it, Thank u, So. GD.
Proceed
caution grounded flirting kiss* “the odd the sickest so much each other best in we’re all next Romantic.
couple” each other doomed
apartment
You’d Everyone Your date- You blow much con-
Pretty
night
Solid
L I B R A Opposites make wants your Sweet and A ~high- convos Better in Soul-mate money on stantly coworker EEEK!
all your
great
profile~
status
theory
relation-
special
attract!
room- ship pair last trips mad at energy
mates! foreverrr each other
You guys Prepare to Pack an You’re You can A once-in- You guys You so
S C O R P I O are secret emotional gency seriously might get critical of a-lifetime Hot ’n’ Nonstop are known dated in
Things
already
ride the
be supes
emer-
lovers,
for the
clashing
heavy
loyal to
kind of
best
aren’t
roller
life
you? coaster bag, JIC each other ugly each other love parties another
S A G I T T A R I U S Hi, power attraction not? I said Hell yeah Surpris- vacays are ALWAYS weekend talking, weekend You break
You
All-
Always
Great
Your
Maybe...
couldn’t
up more
ingly
resist the
than you
arguing
bone
couple!
always
unreal
instant
easy?
maybe!
stay
fling
seshes
texting
together
Social
C A P R I C O R N are mutual first sight Aww, you The make- Guaran- You want together, can’t STFU All work, You’re try- Grow-old-
You two
too much
It was
sexuals–
You two
climbers
up sex is
guys are
teed
stick
you’ll try
from the
together
spark at
(in a cute
success
off the
no play
written in
anything
muses
other
cute
here
way)
charts
the stars
right?
once
person
Sensing You guys = You
A Q U A R I U S Mostly Thanks but believe in dynamic A worth- collect ~collabor- contact* Freaky sex Hi, kinky suuuper make each
You make
Pass Go,
always
*avoids
people
do not
Weird
ative
eye
kinda
while
alert!
no thanks
intellec-
couple
energy~
duo
awkward
soul mates
$200
here tual other feel
better
There are Expect a Emotional Y’all are
In your
You’re
P I S C E S LOL, don’t really wild ride, support is Not ideal! perfect This is a waaay Lifelong connected dreams
Insta
karmic
even
in both
weird
mates
too
through
vibes
bother
here, TBH good and the roof bond intense alert! soulfully (literally)
bad ways
Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 61

a s t r o l o g y




T R Y T H I S

A T H O M E Apartment astrology



is a thing and it


Have a paint-
ing of a boat?
Burn it can fix your love life
Ships sitting in har-
bors emphasize
stagnation, says
Patricia Lohan. (It
was, um, problem-
atic that I had one
hanging across Time to buy
from my bed.)
some new plants.
(We’ll explain.)

B y D I A N E V A D I N O


Stick to
paired art and
accessories hen
Like actual love- w Clean closets, full
hearts, can’t lose.
birds. “It could people
be two swans,” ask
explains Lohan. why I’m
“Swans mate for single, my go-tos are:
life. It’s really just a busy schedule, too specifically, it turns
about thinking
in pairs.” much travel, and an out that my “love/rela-
unwillingness to open Home, and I know my tionship area” has I get to work, shift-
Tinder. But really it’s... little friends are not “unhappy wood ing things (neatly)
my messy bedroom. welcome) and pray energy.” into hallway closets.
“Your house has its silently that my place’s Lohan suggests The change—the
own energy field—it’s vibes haven’t entirely counteracting this emptiness—is brac-
Curate your
closet either calling in or doomed my relation- vibe by adding in ele- ing. I’d clearly
repelling what you ship status. ments of both metal allowed Work Me to
“If your closet is
full, if your bed- want,” says feng shui The first thing and moving metal, dominate my life and
room is full, if your expert and astro nerd Lohan does is produce like, say, a clock with Relationship Me to
calendar is full, Patricia Lohan. She’s a report, like a birth metal hands. She also disappear.
you’re never going basically like an chart for my apart- wants me to declutter, Typically, it takes
to meet someone,”
says Lohan. “You astrologer for your ment, taking into since my bedroom is two to three months
have to make home, and I’d invited account the building’s bursting with inven- to see results,
room.” her over to help me birth date and loca- tory for my Etsy shop although Lohan says
with my romantic life, tion. It scores “bad for (I sell vintage stuff; she’s seen things
which has lately felt a money” (!) but “good sometimes I wake up happen within a
lot more “repelled” for people.” More with a cake plate couple of hours. And
than “called in.” wrapped in my duvet). it’s true that I already
Keep things “I’ve had people I agree because, I feel a little changed.
level come to me when their mean, you can’t find Before, when I
Buy a pair of night- lives are falling apart, an S.O. until he has looked around my
stands of similar and they’re looking somewhere to put his bedroom, I thought of
height. Different inward for answers,” sweaters, right? work. Now I think of GIRL: THAIS R A MOS VAREL A/STOCKSY. CACTI: GET T Y IM AGES.
heights can lead to
relationship power says Lohan. “No! It’s possibility. And new
imbalances. “You your house!” plants (“non-spiky
want equilibrium Nodding, I try to succulents that grow
and balance and hide my cacti behind quickly are best”).
harmony,” says No cacti were harmed in
Lohan. me (I’ve read Lohan’s And new paintings.
book, The Happy the writing of this story. And new hookups.




62 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

Your hyper-
A S K Y O U R
specific
February
A S T R O L O B E S T I E
14th ’scope
Real-talk advice from astrologer, author, and B y J A K E R E G I S T E R
Instagram meme queen Aliza Kelly.

A R I E S
A romantic night in
Dear Aliza, your new bae and or wild night out—
I’ve always stayed take an honest look either way, your
close with my exes, at your dynamic with your relationship V-Day looks great.
but now I’m in a new life. You don’t under- your exes. Are these at all...this is a T A U R U S
relationship with a stand why people friendships purely pla- bigger convo that Trust me: Book
a relaxing spa
Taurus, and he says have to take every- tonic, or is there some will ultimately offer appointment, just
these friendships thing *so* seriously. leftover sexual ten- invaluable insight into in case.
make him uncomfort- Your Taurus boo, sion? Even if you’re whether you and your G E M I N I
able. Now I feel like I however, thrives on not actively pining for Taurus are a good You’re totes getting
need to choose commitment and loy- your former lovers, match. It’s true that all ~lucky~ this year.
between him and my alty. So while you’re romantic energy may relationships require C A N C E R
friends, and I’m not out here riding the still be at the heart of compromise—but This holiday catches
sure what to do. waves, he’s on a quest these situationships. you shouldn’t be you right in the
Harrumph! for solid ground. Any In this case, cutting forced to break up feels. Sorry, bb.
Disgruntled Gemini potential “threats” to ties may not just be in with your buddies if L E O
his relationships will the best interest for there’s no reason to You’ll go big for
Dear Disgruntled have him seeing red. your guy—it might do so, and you can’t bae, even if they
Gemini, There are only two also be the healthiest sacrifice who you are don’t do the same
This is a toughie! ways to handle this, choice for you. in order to make a for you. (They
won’t.)
You’re a fun-loving, Gemini (this is so you, If all your friend- partnership work. So
playful air sign who btw—symbolized by ships are totally pla- buckle up for some V I R G O
Don’t count on
just wants to enjoy twins, you’re no tonic and you believe serious chats. getting the rom-
stranger to duality). they won’t impact In the end, if his com energy you
The first is to honor needs challenge your deserve. Sorry to
values (like, a lot), you too, bb.
then maybe it’s time to L I B R A
reconsider things. Your night will be
Stay true to yourself, action packed, if ya
It’s not you, it’s me. And my
know what I mean.
ex.
Gemini babe. *wiggles eyebrows*
At
To the Moon and back,
S C O R P I O
xx Aliza
dinner.
TOP IM AGE: AL A MY. BOT TOM IM AGES: ©WARNER BROS/COURTESY EVERET T COLLECTION.
@AlizaKelly Fire up the sexy
Snaps—you’ll be
stuck at work.
S A G I T T A R I U S
Mood: cozy night at
home. Aka cancel
that spensy dinner.

C A P R I C O R N
Some whips and
chains as stress
relief? It’s that kind
of night.

A Q U A R I U S
Your bedroom’ll be
as lit up as your
birthday cake.

P I S C E S
Boo is definitely
thinking about you
Need some cosmic help to cope rn. Expect gifts.
with your drama? Hit me up:
[email protected].




Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 63

l u s t




























Oh, so this is how words of affirmation feel.
















































The best ICYMI: There’s a test float-

ing around the internet
that tells you your love lan-
sex toys guage, which is v impor-

tant (like, just as necessary
as your birth chart). Not
for you based only can knowing it make
dating slash being in a
relationship easier, but it

on your love can also be clutch for your
sex life. Because you, my
friend, are unique. Spe-
cial. And in order for you
language to have an amazing

orgasm, you need play-
things that speak to your
body and soul. Behold,
It’s about to get real interesting for
our customized list that will
all you Physical Touchers. CL AY TON CUBIT T.
fulfill you in all the ways.
You’re welc....
B y C A N D I C E J A L I L I



6
64 Cosmopolitan Februar y 20204 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

Acts
of ser vice
Physical
touch Qualit y
Words of You’re pretty
af firmation much #Girlfriend time

Seeing Meghan OfTheYear for Gif ts
and Harry kissing that time you Your ideal date
TFW your crush
in public gives Seamless-ed soup night? Dinner, fol-
responds to your
you butterflies, to bae’s apart- Your ex can still lowed by couch
because to you, thirst trap = solid ment when they be spotted wear- snuggles, sex, a
gold. Textual
getting handsy is were sick. Some ing that watch sleepover,
paragraphs and
the best (and would say you’re you bought them brunch, and
long talks IRL are
only) way to too nice, but this back in ’17. (They plans for the next
the high-key way
show affection. is your normal. got you socks.) hang. OBVI.
to your heart.








Womanizer Duo, Sportsheets Under Unbound Palma, Empire Labs Clone-
$219, womanizer Dipsea app, the Bed Restraint $128, unbound a-Willy Kit, $50,
.com subscribe for System, $73, babes.com cloneawilly.com
$9 per month, sportsheets.com
This bb vibrates dipseastories.com This gem doubles Even when you’re
while going to Sixty-two percent Pin your arms and as a chic ring to not physically with
town on your of Cosmo readers legs in place so wear on the daily your partner, you
clitoris with an all- (and especially your dominant and an on-the-go can at least feel
encompassing, you) prefer porn’s has no choice but vibe (for whenever like you are with
suction-heavy hug. to lavish you with you need to get in an exact replica of
audio to its visuals, pleasure. Hello,
so getting a deliv- Ms. Submissive. a quick climax). their genitalia. A
ery of shockingly makeshift dong (or
vag!) makes...the
non-cheesy erotica
heart grow fonder?
straight into your
earholes is a must.




Swoon Kink
Flogger, $76, the Manfly Low-
pleasurechest.com Hot Octopuss Digit, Temperature
$69, hotoctopuss Candles, $16,
Ready to straddle .com amazon.com
the line between We-Vibe Melt, $149,
“ouch” and “ooh” Slip this lil vibe Use these candles we-vibe.com
Sportsheets Bikini onto your finger to for wax play—they
with a whipping Strap-On, $67, Be ravished by
followed by a sportsheets.com give your clitoris burn at a body- your partner and
rubdown of leather Nothing requires the same level of friendly tempera- a vibrator at the
and cashmere- as much communi- TLC you dish out so ture—to give your Same. Damn. Time.
soft tails? Yep, cation as using a well. Next time, it’s hunny the present Place this on your
thought so. strap-on to pene- your S.O.’s turn to that is (literally) clitoris when bae’s
use it on you.
trate your partner. hot and kinky fore- inside you, and
play. Simply light
Why not put your ’em, then drip the since you can
talking skills to the wax on their bod. hold it in place,
test while you’re no one will feel left
pegging, hmm? out of the fun.









Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 65

l u s t

Cow = mama’s
boy.

























C H I N C H I L L A
full of alllll
R A C C O O N the BDE (marry
crass him now)
What




S N A K E P R AY I N G
an actual snake M A N T I S
his packing a

pencil dick


H O R S E
weird pet H E D G E H O G
rich AF
testy



F E R R E T says
an incel E E L

stalkerish


about him
B I R D
DTF 24/7/365
C H I C K E N
afraid of
*signs up for FarmersOnly.com commitment
to find a dude with a horse*
T A R A N T U L A
A dmit it: You’ve aggressively swiped right on an otherwise a two-pump
a masochist B y T A Y L O R A N D R E W S R A B B I T


chump

I G U A N A kinda whatever dude just because the goldendoodle chillin’
apathetic in his pics looked like a Very Good Boy—and later been
enraged to find out it’s actually his cousin’s roommate’s dog.
“Hi, 911? I’d like to report a CRIME.” Guys are constantly posing with pups to G O L D F I S H
flex their responsible, fun-loving vibes because it works: 70 percent of singles a control freak
H E R M I T say a floof-filled profile is a turn-on, a recent survey confirms. But enough with
C R A B the charades! You wanna know about that critter he’s not bringing to the brewery
always leaving on Saturdays—the one you find out about on date four when you’re at his place
H A M S T E R
the toilet seat up and see a couple of frozen mice thawing in the sink and he’s like, “Oh, yeah,
unemployed
those are for Rumpelsnakeskin. He’s over there.” That downplayed animal friend FROM TOP: BAUER GRIFFIN; GET T Y IM AGES.
will tell you all you need to know about this guy’s dateability. Sorry, grown-ass-
man-with-a-hermit-crab (really?!), we’re blowing up your spot.
S N A I L M O U S E
a sex addict prepubescent






66 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

A MER I CA 'S #1 SELLI NG WEI GH T LOS S SU P P LEMEN T BR AN D






LOSE THE








SHAPE Sandy from Houston, TX








WEAR







GOALS














BEFORE AFTER 17 WEEKS






















SANDY LOST 30 LBS.
Sandy used the key ingredient (C. canephora robusta) with diet and
exercise, and was remunerated.
1 People using the key ingredient in 60 days lost an average of
10.95 lbs. with a low-calorie diet, and 3.7 lbs. in a separate 8-week WEIGHT LOSS
RESEARCHED
study with a calorie-reduced diet and moderate exercise. SCIENTIFICALLY
KEY INGREDIENT

LOSE WEIGHT y BURN CALORIES y INCREASE ENERGY 3
1
2


$ 5OFF * *All Hydroxycut products
®
valued at $17.88 and over.
®
Excludes Hydroxycut Drops,
Bars and Shakes.

®
excluding Hydroxycut Drops, Bars and Shakes. May not be used for items with a retail value less than $17.88. Consumer pays any sales tax. Void
if sold, copied, prohibited, restricted, exchanged or transferred. RETAILER: Redeem on terms stated for consumer upon purchase of product(s) YOU HAVE GOALS, WE’LL
indicated. ANY OTHER USE CONSTITUTES FRAUD. If submitted in compliance with Iovate Health Sciences U.S.A. Inc.’s Coupon Redemption Policy
(copies available upon request), you will be reimbursed face value plus 8¢. Mail to Iovate Health Sciences, Dept. #31656 Inmar, 1 Fawcett Dr., Del Rio, HELP YOU REACH THEM.
TX 78840. Failure to produce on request invoices proving purchase of stock covering coupons may void all coupons submitted. Void if taxed, restricted,
prohibited or presented by any outlets other than retailers of our products. Cash value 1.100¢. OFFER EXPIRES SEPTEMBER 30, 2020. CHECK OUT MORE AMAZING WEIGHT
MANUFACTURER’S COUPON EXPIRES SEPTEMBER 30, 2020 LOSS RESULTS AT HYDROXYCUT.COM



2 Short-term studies show caffeine, as found in Hydroxycut capsules and drink mix, can help temporarily promote
®
increased energy expenditure (calorie burning).
3 Hydroxycut capsules and drink mix contain caffeine to increase energy.
®
®
Based on AC Nielsen xAOC sales data for Hydroxycut caplets. Read the entire label. ©2019

R M - R E L A T I O N S H I P
E E
T
- D
G S E X I T
N I
O Q & A O
L N





What’s a non-lame
V-Day gift? My part-
ner and I are way My husband and I fell
past the lingerie and
asleep after sex with
chocolate days....
his penis still in my
TBH, the fact that you vagina (not kidding).
still want to acknowl- Should we be worried
edge this holiday the about anything?
way Cupid intended
Hey, it happens to the
is sweet enough. Per-
most tired of us. Or
sonally, I think a card
maybe you had some
is plenty (and plenty
*really* intense sex
effective). But if Val-
that knocked you
entine’s Day is sacred
both out (brava!).
in your relationship—
Regardless, if he was
and exchanging gifts
wearing a condom
is kind of nonnego-
as birth control and
tiable—try this smart
you don’t want to get
suggestion: “Stalk
pregnant, get thee a
your partner’s favorite
morning-after pill stat.
celeb’s social media
Then, if you’re worried
platforms,” says
about an infection,
sex educator Shan
watch for a change
Boodram, author of
in discharge or an
The Game of Desire.
odor, which could
“You’ll probably get
suggest your vagina’s
tons of ideas, and
pH levels were thrown
you can then note
off by his sleeping
that your gift is one of
peen, says Mary Jane
their idol’s picks.” So
Minkin, MD, clinical
if boo is a huge fan professor of obstetrics
F O R T H O S E T I M E S W H E N of The Rock, you can
and gynecology
scope The Rock’s feed
Y O U ’ R E L I K E , “ I L O V E Y O U , for the sneakers he’s at Yale School of
Medicine. A UTI is
been wearing. Or if
but you’re bae can’t get enough also a slight possibil-
ity, but TBH, you’re
of Reese Witherspoon,
grab the latest book probably just fine.
annoying...” she posted about. Or B R E N N A N FROM LEFT: EL M AR KROP/THE LICENSING PROJECT; PHILIP FRIEDM AN; LEANDRO CRESPI/STOCKSY.

maybe they have a
thing for the Biebs...
well, that’s when F A Y E
gifting underwear
Coupledom can be hard!
becomes cool again.

B y F A Y E B R E N N A N
Sex & Relationships
Director
Email your sex
questions to
SexQandA@
Cosmopolitan.com.




68 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

l u s t







How can my partner
and I bring sexy back My friend told me
when it’s just easier Umm, I keep thinking about this new trick
to, like, watch TV in
about other people she does with her
our sweats?
when my fiancé and mouth when she’s
Unfortch, this is pretty I are having sex. going down on her
much how human Please tell me that’s BF. Will mine think a different technique
nature works. “Once normal.... I’m crazy if I try it on and respond with
you become accus- him out of nowhere? something like, “Holy
Trust, everyone’s mind shit, that feels so
tomed to someone, wanders during sex. Quite the opposite,
your mind shifts from good. Where did you
It’s a big reason some bb. (And let me guess, learn it?” (Go ahead
passionate to com-
women find it hard is the trick to knead and respond with a
panionate feelings,” to orgasm—they’re the underside of his
explains Boodram. sexy, knowing smirk.)
too busy thinking penis, where the head If, though, you can’t
But this doesn’t have
about a million other meets the shaft, with tell if he’s into it, “you
to be your only narra-
things, like work and the tip of your tongue? can always check in
tive. You just need to more work and... Then you should try it.)
be a lil ~extra~ about with a simple, ‘Do you
but I digress. At least As long as this exotic like this?’” suggests
getting back into
your focus is on stuff mouth move won’t hurt O’Reilly. If the answer
hooking up. Meaning: or, ahem, people him, he’ll probably
Start treating sex like is no, move on to
who make you horny, think you’re a GD sex your tried-and-true
going to the gym or
which helps you keep As long as this exotic mouth move won’t hurt him, he’ll think you’re a GD sex goddess. goddess for testing out licks—and, hey, at
practicing the guitar. your arousal at peak
Seriously. “Resist the least you tried.
levels. There is def no
urge to quit, keep at it,
need to read too much
and stop waiting for into this. Plus, “monog-
lust to just happen,”
amy can be toxic if
says Boodram.
you make it too rigid,”
says relationship
expert Jess O’Reilly,
My partner is like, PhD, Astroglide’s
“No way” to video- resident sexologist.
chat sex, but I’m so “Focus on fulfillment
into it! Any tips to get instead of what you’re
them on board? supposed to do.”
Your thoughts are sim-
When it comes to try- ply fueling the fire
ing out a new fantasy, between you two.
you have to give your
S.O. the time and
space to warm up to
it. As Boodram says,
“Video-chatting may My wife says she can
just not be their entry orgasm only with
point into voyeurism What should I do if a vibrator, and honestly, Do vaginas really
or mutual masturba- my girlfriend always that bugs me....Help? get stretched out after
tion.” Which, fair. A cries after sex? Why does it bug you having a baby?
N
So be willing to take Be ready with comfort though? You’re not in They stretch, but they
N and tissues. Sex unleashes competition with it. You’ll don’t get stretched out (so
baby steps that they’d A W a bunch of hormones probably feel better if let’s end that hurtful
be more comfortable W O that can sometimes you start treating her rumor RTFN!). The muscles
with (maybe phone S N trigger an emo reaction. buzzing, seven-speed and tissues in the
sex or a VR-sex chat E K The technical term is dildo as a helpful vaginal canal and vulva
D “postcoital dysphoria,” ally. Invite it into your are designed to expand
room?). Then, make U and it’s really NBD, even next session and by up to four inches
sure you’re both loving D when it happens often. ask your wife to show you during labor and birth.
If she’s at all concerned, how it gets her off. Then, A few months later, they
experimenting before offer to help her find a sex use that (super-hot) intel to should be back to their
~testing~ further. therapist to talk to. your advantage. usual, pre-baby size.




Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 69

l u s t










This sext Honestly, sexting is a
lot like sex itself. Tons
of people do it and phone en fuego. So I
has a would like to think asked nearly 1,000
they’re awesome at it,
guys to share their
but few actually reach
“that was so good I’ll takes on the hottest
sexts they’ve ever
remember it when I’m seen. Some collating,
99.2% success living in a retirement synthesizing, and data
home” status. To get analyzing later, I am
rate there, it’s helpful to here with The Thing: a

know the specific
top-ten ranking of the
words that really set a world’s most effective
sexts. Use them wisely.
The “bend and snap” of 2 a.m. text messages.

B y J U L I A P U G A C H E V S K Y 10
“I want you to finger me
until I come on your hand.”



9

“Come over. Now.” Ten percent of men love
thumb flirting that’s
brief and straight to the
point invitation.
8
“Just showered. Wish
you were here. :(”


7
“Can I come over
and sit on your face?”



6
“NSFW Snap
The promise of visuals
coming your is key. No actual pics
way.”
needed—it’s the tease
itself that slays him.


5
“I’m out with my An extra-expressive,
friends and I’m out-of-the-blue message
secretly drenched = a win. Forty-three 1
just thinking percent of guys say Dudes crave specificity, “I can’t wait to
about you.” their biggest sexting mmkay? Keep this come over and
peeve is “no genuine GOAT fresh by subbing suck your dick.”
enthusiasm.” in different sex moves
depicted in hot detail.
4
“I’m so wet right now.”
2
“I want you to come over, pull my hair, pin me
down, and fuck me until I’m screaming your name.”
NIKITA SURSIN/STOCKSY.
3
“I want your dick
so bad.”










70 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

When plan A doesn’t work out,

I turn to Plan B One-Step ®








































Plan B One-Step emergency

contraception:

• Helps prevent pregnancy
by delaying ovulation


• Won’t hurt your chances of
getting pregnant in the future

• Is available right off the shelf—

no prescription or ID required



Over-prepared? Maybe.

ďĊť ÌÐĊĴƨ #Ðť ĊðĴÐăřơ


























Find it in
the å­ĉðăř

Ĩă­ĊĊðĊæ ­ðĮăÐ




Use as directed.
© 2019 Foundation Consumer Healthcare, LLC

l u s t












Here’s

On your
the real culprit vulva?


behind your Yes No, but
Sorry for this mental image, btw. really close
to it...
painful ? t




sex s o m






e
Seventy-seven percent of our h
readers say they experience t Right
painful intercourse. The t inside

reason’s not always obvious. r your
u
h
B y J I L L H A M I L T O N vagina?
t Does it feel
i super tight,
like it’s on
s lockdown?
e
o Yes No

The old blanket advice for d
uncomfortable sex? “Try
more foreplay” and “Use e
more lube.” And, yeah, r
those can help, but what if e
you’re already having h
30-minute make-outs and W
going through tubes of the
slick stuff and it still effing
hurts? Follow this flowchart
for actually helpful insight Deep
on what might be going on inside
and how to make it stop.*
your
vagina?

Have you had
surgery or
experienced
tearing from
previous sex? M ARCEL/STOCKSY.

Yes No






*SOURCES MICHAEL INGBER, MD,
OF THE CENTER FOR SPECIALIZED WOMEN’S
HEALTH AND OB - GYN HEATHER BARTOS, MD,
OFFER THEIR GENIUS TIPS HERE, BUT
THIS ISN’T A SUBSTITUTE FOR MEDICAL
ADVICE. IF THESE SUGGESTIONS DON’T WORK
AND/OR THE PROBLEM PERSISTS,
GO TO YOUR DOCTOR.



72 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

I T C O U L D B E You might
Contact dermatitis have a yeast I T C O U L D B E
infection.
YO U R P L A N An infected hair
Put your feet in the stirrups and sliiide
Sitz bath. Fill your follicle
tub with a few down—it’s gyno time! Seeing a
YO U R P L A N
inches of warm doctor for any unexplained symptoms
Sitz bath! If it gets
water and a is now your best move. Just think
worse, see a doc to
handful of baking Can you totally rule out HPV about how much easier you’ll be
soda and/or Epsom see or feel or herpes. (Herpes
salts and sit(z) your a bump? usually feels more able to sleep (and, duh, have sex) once
ass down. Does like a canker you cross this off your list.
that work? Yes No sore—a valley, not
a bump—and HPV
warts aren’t
Yes No
typically painful, so
[YO U M AY
we really do mean
P R O C E E D TO
“rule out.”)
B O N I N G]






Can you see or I T C O U L D B E I T C O U L D B E
I T C O U L D B E Does it feel feel a swollen A Bartholin’s cyst, A few things,
Vaginismus, like you’re bulge on either caused by a including
a pelvic-floor peeing glass? side of your clogged fluid duct endometriosis,
spasm that causes vagina? YO U R P L A N ovarian cysts,
involuntary Yes No Try a sitz bath (see inflammation, or
tightening of the Yes Dunno above left) or warm scar tissue
vagina YO U R P L A N
compresses. If that
YO U R P L A N doesn’t work, your Have a gyno check
Pelvic-floor physical You might have a doc may have to it out and confirm.
therapy—aka a UTI or yeast (yeah...) drain it. Anything hurting in
massage for your infection (likely) or the lower third of
vagina by a trained chlamydia or your vagina needs
specialist—can gonorrhea (less an expert opinion.
relax your muscles likely). Womp wah.
and increase blood
flow. Your gyno can Have you been
refer you, sooo... Does it feel like diagnosed
a deep ache or with
Do you feel it a sharp “OMG, endometriosis Pop a pre-sex
when a penis or that effing or ovarian ibuprofen and tell
toy hits your hurts!” ping? cysts? your partner to go
cervix? easy on the
“OMG, Deep Yes No thrusting to keep
Yes No that effing ache them from going
I T C O U L D B E hurts!” too deep inside
Some leftover scar you. Did that work?
tissue from a trauma
or an injury I T C O U L D B E
The positions in your Yes WTF,
I T C O U L D B E
YO U R P L A N I T C O U L D B E routine aren’t ideal. [YO U M AY it still
Physical therapy. BDE, literally. Cervicitis or pelvic P R O C E E D TO hurts.
Or consider surgery Cervixes are super inflammatory YO U R P L A N B O N I N G]
to clean out the sensitive, so if they disease Switch it up with a
damaged area so get hit in the wrong fresh arrangement.
you can get your V way by a long penis YO U R P L A N
back in the game. or toy, it can cause Sis, you might need
some pain. antibiotics. Does that
help?
YO U R P L A N
Try a position that Yes No
M I S S I O N avoids cervical G E T U P, [YO U M AY
P O S S I B L E slamming. S TA N D U P P R O C E E D TO
Do it in missionary— Stand and lean on B O N I N G]
but with your legs straight something, then have
and pressed together your partner enter
tightly. Shallower you from behind to avoid
penetration will feel pain points in your
less hurt-y. abdomen.


Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 73

l i f e

































































1






2









Yo
u 3

=



Thanks
Bowl
to Super hero
this
dip Super plans:
bae’s house
(with bae’s intimi-
dating family)
Super plans:
idea generator.
your coworker’s
B y J E S S I C A G O O D M A N
shindig where Your bowl: fancy
you don’t know
Super plans: guacamole 3 .
your BFF’s place anyone Whaddup,
for a Shakira/J.Lo pomegranate
So you’re going to the big sports-ball event and you’ve
appreciation party seeds?!
Your bowl: a
been asked to BYOD. Rather than spend approx. one million
buffalo chicken
hours googling “What do humans eat during football?”
dip 2 to make all
Your bowl: a TED AND CHELSEA CAVANAUGH.
only to show up with the 100th bag of chips and 101st jar
garlicky yogurt situ- the new friends
of salsa, consult this cheat sheet.
ation 1 . No one’s
making out anyway.
74 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020



l i f e










D E B A T E






Can you


C O N
Venmo a T H I S I S S O
P R O


@ M E N O T O K AY
W I T H T H AT $ $ $, Even if you type out
FA M ! wedding gift? “Here’s $100 from us
Take it from me, to celebrate the rest
a recently married: of your life!!!” what
Weddings mean a Your mom won’t like it, you’re really saying
lot of things, including but your BFF might. is, “I basically forgot
sorting through to get you something
endless glitter-laced until I watched you
cards and lugging your walk down the aisle
third 24-pack of Pyrex from the back row,
back to Bed Bath and I’m putting zero
& Beyond (registries effort into this.”
exist for a reason!). Wedding gifts are
And sure, not the same as
Le Creuset is fancy- paying your BFF $2
nice and everyone for a late-night slice.
loves cash of any And it’s not just about
kind...but what they the money—it’s the
crave even more is acknowledgment that
money without the your friend is taking
paper cuts. Guys, a big life step and
internet money is still you’re proud and
money. Just easier, thankful to be a part
for both sides. of it. You know what
Couples: What better expresses that kind
thank-you could you of gratitude? Spend-
give your guests than ing time on a registry
the ability to direct- or dusting off ye olde
deposit you a checkbook and your
gift with one tap? handwriting skills.
Guests: If you insist on Inconvenient?
keeping it heartfelt Maybe. But you’ve
and personal, you already bought (or
can include a sweet rented) a new outfit
note right there in and pledged to add
the app. Or just a a super-long hashtag
bunch of bride emoji. to every photo you
payment receipt
If you’re still on take that weekend.
the fence, just think Why can’t you put
You paid #BrideGroom $150
of all the glitter and Feb 15, 2020 at 12:35 PM as much thought
trees you’ll be saving. into the gift?
Public
—A S H L E Y O E R M A N , d e p u t y —A B I G A I L S I LV E R M A N ,
GET T Y IM AGES.
l i f e s t y l e d i r e c t o r Congrats, you cuties! c r e a t i v e d i r e c t o r, d i g i t a l








76 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

ŮHDO
Recipes

with
ZKRŅHVRPH
LQJĺHGLHQWŷ"








I dig it.















































































No artifi cial fl avors or colors

No animal by-product meal

Great taste your dog will love


Learn more at Beneful.com/wholesome


Purina trademarks are owned by Société des Produits Nestlé S.A.

l i f e




B R E A K I N G :

T H E S E
bougie cookies







W I L L C O M E R I G H T
T O Y O U R D O O R

Hello, lover(s).

B y J E S S I C A G O O D M A N My most serious relationship













Want to bury your rn.
face in this gorgina
stack? Hi, you’re
in extreme luck.
The obscenely large,
ooey, gooey, mushy,
gushy cookies you see
all over your feed can Gooey on
the Inside
now be delivered to I’m Super Black,
your literal home. $5 for 1, gooey
Basically, you could ontheinside.com
be eating showstop-
pers from New York’s
famed Levain Bakery
by the time you
finish this Cosmo. BaKD Bakery
Confetti, $5 for
Goals? Goals. 1, instagram
.com/bakd
.baker y




Bang Cookies
Rocky Road
Peanut Chip,
$5 for 1, bang
cookies.com





Doughees by
M.Dough.W
Picasso Art
Minis, $30 for
18, doughees
care about. .com
I
stack
only Levain Bakery
Chocolate
The Chip Walnut,
$27 for 4,
levainbaker y
.com STUART T YSON; ST YLED BY MEGUMI EMOTO.












78 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020



l i f e






Essentially, your
uterus chooses her

own adventure.




and reproductive
sciences at Yale School
of Medicine. Because “If, for example, your
“four weeks” is easier follicle-stimulating
to remember than “uh, hormone levels, which
24 to 38ish days”— tell ovaries to release
the real range, more estrogen to prep
according to the for ovulation, are
American College of elevated early in the
Obstetricians and cycle, you could
Gynecologists—the ovulate earlier than the
myth has lived on, from last month and have a
fifth grade sex ed to shorter cycle,” explains
right now. Dr. Eyvazzadeh.
That’s problematic if So if we’re gonna
you’re tracking your talk about “normal” at
cycle to not get preg- all, it’s all normal. The
only cycles that require
nant, sync your exer-
Basically
no one cise and diet to each MD intervention are
menstrual phase, or
ones that fall outside
just protect your under-
the 24- to 38-day
range or are a full
wear drawer. It may
also lead to panic if
your period doesn’t week shorter or longer
than the last one. Same
has a 28-day strike right on day 28. goes if you’ve got seri-
menstrual cycle “I’ve had patients ously heavy bleeding
or extreme pelvic pain
worried and anxious
because they think or you never get your
Brought to you by: they’re irregular when period at all.

The idea of a “normal” period is a lie. they aren’t,” says Everyone else: Start
reproductive endocri- thinking of your cycle
B y S U Z A N N A H W E I S S
nologist Aimee as that friend who
Eyvazzadeh, MD. always cancels. You’ll
else? Nearly 20 per-
catch up eventually—
If you’re not on
O one no longer cycle, meaning cycle length can also unreliable.
cent have a 30-day-or-
she’s just reliably
hormonal BC, your
vary month to month,
some months, they
kay, not,
like, no
don’t get a period
says Joyce Harper,
PhD, professor of
at all.
Periods are
one—there
The weird web of
University College
are some lies we’ve all bought reproductive science at really weird...
women out there who into might’ve stemmed London. (Essentially,
get their period exactly from old-school studies your uterus chooses her 7% 9%
every 28 days—but the that suggested the own adventure each have a cycle shorter
of women
vast majority? Nope. average cycle lasts time. Hormones have a 36- than 25 days.
Only 13 percent 28 days. Somewhere released by your brain to 50-day
have a precise four- down the line, though, control your cycle and cycle.
week cycle, according “average” became are impacted by all of
to new data published “normal,” says Mary the things, like age, 19%
in NPJ Digital Medi- Jane Minkin, MD, genetics, stress, body 65% have a
have a 31- to ALLIE HOLLOWAY.
cine. And guess what clinical professor of weight, and sleep.) cycle 35-day
obstetrics, gynecology, between cycle.
25 and
30 days.


80 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020 SOURCE: NPJ DIGITAL MEDICINE, AUGUST 2019





Neither does her period.






®
®
U by Kotex Click compact tampons are more comfortable




her double-bank shot.
















*vs Tampax Pocket Pearl. Super absorbencies. Among those with a preference.

l i f e







Is cardio a scam?





And 8 other









not-stupid questions
about fitness things





Thanks for calling 1-800-WTF-Is-This.

B y A S H L E Y O E R M A N














When the trainer yells “burpees”












and the rest of the class says, “WOO!”






















































82 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

they perform a move,
says Victoria. This is on 47% of you say
purpose—it engages Britney is the
Q I worked out yester- core muscles, helping most motivating
day and now it hurts them get more out of an gal on your
to live. Whence this exercise. But it’s fine not workout
cruelty? to be part of this group. playlist. (43%
say it’s Lizzo!)
A This is called delayed- You can easily exhale SOURCE: COSMO POLL
onset muscle soreness, without being loud
and it sucks. It’s the about it.
result of contracting
Q I’m doing crunches!
muscles over and over,
Where are my abs!
which tears their fibers,
says certified personal A Crunches *can* help
trainer Stephanie Sanzo, build up your abdomi-
creator of the Build pro- nal muscles...but getting
gram on the Sweat app. those suckers to pop is Q What’s a foam
Since your muscles then borderline impossible roller for, and why
rebuild and become without celebrity-level does it hurt so much?
stronger, this is a good cardio and a restrictive
thing. But work in some diet. For most people, A It’s basically a rolling
low-intensity cardio like six-packs basically pin for your muscles and
the elliptical to keep the come down to genetics fascia (the tissuey stuff
blood flowing through (sorry!), says Victoria. that surrounds your
your sore bod, she And TBH, sacrificing muscles). Using one
adds. It sounds awful, carbs and sweating stimulates fresh blood,
but it will help. 24/7 probably isn’t which helps muscles
worth it anyway, right? recover, says Matheny.
Q Are morning work- When you hit a spot
outs really better—or Q If I’m not on a tread- that hurts a lot (like, a Downloads one
running app....
can I skip them for the mill, what do I even do lot), that means you’ve
rest of my life? at the gym? landed on a knot in your awesome for increas-
A You can cancel them. A If you’re interested fascia. It does burn, but ing your heart rate or
“Physiologically, they in not running, body- it also reduces your sore- engaging your lower
aren’t superior to exercis- weight strength training ness the next day. body (smh, chair pose).
ing at any other point in also gets your heart rate Q So, is cardio a scam? And since the muscles
the day,” says certified up—and makes you in your thighs and butt
trainer Anna Victoria, stronger, says Albert A Okay, you don’t need are the biggest in your
creator of the Fit Body Matheny, cofounder of need it, but it’s help- bod, you might be
app. If you’re psyched to Soho Strength Lab in ful. Besides supplying missing out on a really
sweat at 6 p.m. or even New York City. His fave your muscles with oxy- good sweat sesh, says
9 p.m., go forth and get moves: burpees (yeah, gen and improving your Matheny. If you’re into it,
after it, my friend. sorry again), planks, endurance, it can kick- try throwing running and
side lunges, and push- start the recovery pro- weighted squats into
Q Should I be grunting? ups. Do 10 reps of each cess if you’re achy, says your routine.
A The reason so many for as many rounds as certified personal trainer Q 10,000 steps
people are so grunt-y you can for a total of Kelsey Wells, creator of or a workout:
is because they’re fully 17 minutes. Done. the PWR fitness program
on the Sweat app. Plus, Which is better?
exhaling before or while
cardio lowers your risks Walking is good, but it’s
for high blood pressure not that good. The 10K
and diabetes. quota is the very least
69% of you say your you should do, says
Q Can I just do yoga Matheny. Alas.
OPPOSITE PAGE: AL A MY. “Girl’s gotta sleep.” A Yoga and Pilates are
number one excuse
or nah?
not to exercise is
great core strengthen-
ers, but they’re not so

SOURCE: COSMO POLL



Februar y 2020 Cosmopolitan 83

l i f e







L E V E L U P






This secret Spotify trick




will turn you into literal DJ
a



“Wait, how did you do this?” —everyone at your pre-game


B y M I A L A R D I E R E





to be rich, but you do need to know
have how
don’t to STEP 1

You press Open Spotify on your
phone and make sure
you’re on the Home
page. Tap the Settings
wheel in the top right
buttons.
corner of your screen.


Nothing makes a Recently played
party more awkward
than that two-second STEP 2
break between Click Playback and
songs. One moment move the Gapless
Playback slider to green.
you’re having a
Do the same thing to
private convo about Automix to smooth out
your friend who’s in song transitions.
the bathroom, the
next you’re scream- Os 12s
Gapless Playback
outing her UTI. Lucky
Automix
for (both of) you, Allows smooth transitions between songs in a playlist.
this hack seamlessly
flows playlist tracks STEP 3
into each other, Customize how long the
songs overlap by moving
closing the gap and the Crossfade slider to
making you a Paris- the right. If you choose
level DJ. And just six seconds (my personal
pref), the last six seconds
like that, you’re
of the first song blend
headlining in Ibiza*. with the first six seconds
of the next. If you want
*Ticket to Ibiza not an extremely dramatic
included.
mix, slide the button all
the way to 12.

Crossfade
Os 12s



GET T Y IM AGES.










84 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020

P R O M O T I O N


.
w C O V E R G I R L C L E A N F R E S H S K I N S A L LY H A N S E N M I R A C L E G E L

M I L K F O U N D AT I O N

o


n




.

t

i


.

d FRESH HEALTHY SKIN THE LONGER L ASTING MANICURE
COVERGIRL’s new Clean Fresh Skin Milk
Nourishing Foundation provides a dewy finish Miracle Gel is the #1 Gel Hybrid Polish in
the U.S., using patented technology for longer
e and is formulated without parabens, sulfates, wear with no UV lamp required. Available
and phthalates. Bonus—it’s vegan and infused in a Shiny or Matte Finish.
e with coconut milk and aloe extract.


sallyhansen.com
n
covergirl.com



C O S M O P O L I TA N . C O M / P R O M O T I O N S














ΣΕΝΔ ΨΟΥΡ ΧΟΥΓΗ



ΙΝΤΟ ΗΙΒΕΡΝΑΤΙΟΝ.



ΔΑΨ ΟΡ ΝΙΓΗΤ.



Τηε ρεαλ ηονεψ ψου λοϖε, πλυσ τηε φαστ,
εφφεχτιϖε χουγη ρελιεφ οφ Ροβιτυσσιν.





























NO
Ρ Ρ Ρ
εεαλ ηονηοηονηοννηονηονεψ,εψ,εψ,εψ,ψ,εψεψψεψ,, φακεφακφαφφφακεφακεφακεφακακεφαακεεφ
βεαρρεαεαεαεεαεαεαεεαεαεε ρ.ρ.ρ.ρ.ρ.
Ρ Ρεεεε η η ν ν β β β β β β β β β β ARTIFICIAL
ε εδ ♥. ♥20♥20♥20♥20♥20♥20♥20♥20♥20♥20♥22 19 Γ19 Γ19 Γ19 Γ19 Γ19 Γ19 Γ9 Γ9 Γ19 Γ19 Γ9 Γ9 ΓΣΚ γΣΚ γΣΚ γΣΚ γΣΚ γΣΚ γΣΚ γΣΚ γΣΚ γΣΚ γΣΚ γγΚ γΣΚ ρορουπρουπρουπρουπρουπρορορουπρορουπρουπυπ οφ οφοφοφοφοφοφο χομπχομπχοχομπχοχομπχομπχομχομπχομπχ
ο
ρ ρ
Υ Υ Υ
Υ Υσε ασ διρεχρεχεχεχεχεχεχτεδ.τεδ.τεδ.τεδ.τεδ.τεδτεδτεδε Γ Κ ου οφφππππ πανιεανιεανιεανιεανιεανιεανιενι ιε ιεσ ορσ ορσ ορσ ορσ ορσ οσ ο ιτσιτστστσιτστσστσ λιχλιχλιχλιχλιχλιχενσοενσοενσοενσοσοσοενσοενσνσσοοορ.ρ.ρ.ρρ. COLORS

l i f e

Am I



G E T T I N G






F I R E D ? “I’m a photographer,




and I accidentally
Not if you listen to dropped a really pricey
the advice of our new camera during a shoot.

columnists, Should Everyone was pissed,
I
Mika Brzezinski just to say the least. What
and pack do I do now?”
Daniela my
Pierre-Bravo. Mika: Daniela:
Sh*t happens. It’s You’re human,
about moving so try not to take
knives
through these their response
and
moments with personally.
go,
grace. If you can Apologize
afford it, offer to profusely, and next
then?
replace the time you see them,
equipment. They stand up and
The authors of your might not take you engage in small
new career bible up on it, and it talk without
Earn It! are shows that you bringing up the
swooping in to want to do the camera. If they see
save you from right thing.
your office fails. you’ve moved on,
they will too.






“During my first month “I started my first-ever
as an accountant, I
job hungover from
made a typo—and college graduation.

charged a client
And when my new boss
$10,000 instead of asked me to share a fun
$1,000. He won’t let it
fact, I said I’d partied
go, and I haven’t con-
all weekend and slept
fessed. Is it too late?” through the ceremony.

I’m still cringing.”
Mika: Daniela:
Well, that is a bad I’d also tell your
day. Even though boss that you’re Mika: Daniela:
time has passed, going to implement You should be Mika’s right, but
don’t pretend it some kind of triple- cringing. Never don’t beat yourself
didn’t happen in check plan that’ll brag about up. Instead, just
hopes that the prevent this from screwing up! prove to them that
client (or your happening again. you’re not a party
boss!) will forget. Oh, and bring girl whenever
Owning up to cookies. Lots. Of. there’s a work
your mistakes, Cookies (especially situation involving
even now, will if they’re the ones I alcohol, like your
make people saw on page 78). holiday party or a
respect and trust happy hour. Your
you. It’ll be tough, strategy: Have one FROM TOP: STOCKSY.COM, COURTESY (2).
but with hard work drink—or nothing
and attention to at all. It’ll shift their
detail, you’ll turn perspective of you.
this around.


Hi, hi! Have a work Q for this dream team? Follow us on Twitter for our next callout!


86 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020



B y D A N A S C H W A R T Z



P h o t o g r a p h e d b y E R I C R A Y D A V I D S O N
S t y l e d b y A Y A K A N A I





T H E


M O S T





























G I R L


I N

T H E


W O R L D










Once upon a time, Emma Chamberlain was bored. Like every other

teenager, she killed time watching YouTube and thought, What the hell, I’ll give it

a try. 8.5 million subscribers later, she has infinite power—like the ability to

She’s still figuring that out.
wreak havoc in Fred Segal Sunset for a fancy magazine shoot. What to do with it?









8 8

C O S M O P O L I T A N

F E B R U A R Y 2 0 2 0



I T ’ S O N L Y B E E N


9 0 S E C O N D S ,






be a friend. I don’t want to influence.”
(I look down at my nails and blame

them for being so easily swayed.)
But whether or not Emma thinks
uen point. Whenever I try to explain
she has powers of persuasion (she
does; sorry, Emma) isn’t really the


someone like her to a person over
30, listing her staggering success—
millions of social media followers,
astronomical numbers of YouTube
ced. Louis Vuitton, the paralysis/faint-
views, a fashion partnership with


ing spells she causes in people like
my sister whenever she debuts a
new video—their main question is:
“Okay...but why her?” What is it about
this seemingly average girl from San
Mateo County, California, that cap-
tivates other teenagers from all over
the country, the planet—so much so

that it’s catapulted her into internet
superstardom? The answer to this
question doesn’t baffle just me—even
I’m now getting a light-green as cool these days. I follow all the Emma doesn’t know.
manicure—a Statue of Liberty tint right influencers and subscribe to all “Why do certain people connect
I never would have picked out— the right Pinterest boards, but being and others don’t?” she asks. “I’m like,
because Emma Chamberlain off- truly cool in 2020 is a tricky thing Why has this worked?”
handedly said she liked it. We’re to pull off. It’s not about choosing
at Polish House, Emma’s West between silver, gold, or rose-gold T H E R E ’ S A L O T T H A T I S N O R M A L
Hollywood mani-pedi spot, and with jewelry (a life-or-death question back about Emma Chamberlain, things
her seal of approval, the color beck- in college)—today’s cool girls wear she has in common with most Youngs
oned. It doesn’t matter that you are all types of metallic accessories. And in America. She has a crush on
in your late 20s and don’t like going if anything, the more uncool some- Timothée Chalamet (“curly hair
to concerts because they’re too loud, thing seems (visible roots, ugly shoes, ruins me!”); a distaste for Keds
it seemed to whisper. You CAN be a the heroines of Booksmart, grandma (“they’re so not cute”); a subtle, still
green-nail kind of person! sweaters), the more Likes it gets. experimental personal style (she’s
So I asked for Hint of Mint on my “I think the word ‘influencer’ is wearing an Insta-approved turtle-
fingers and my toes—after double- kind of disgusting,” Emma, who is an neck with layered necklaces); and a
checking with Emma to make sure influencer, tells me. “Let’s use me as minor infatuation with the Jonas
that going matchy-matchy isn’t an example: If someone is calling me Brothers. “I’ve just been a huge fan
uncool. (The night before this inter- an influencer, they’re saying that my since, I mean, day one,” Emma
view, I frantically texted my little job is to influence, and I don’t think gushes, recounting how starstruck
sister, age 24, to ask what I should that’s true. I prefer to entertain and she was meeting Joe Jonas and
wear. “What if the teens make fun Sophie Turner at Paris Fashion Week.
of me?” I wrote, half joking. “They O P E N I N G S P R E A D “I’ve been obsessed with them. So

probably will,” she responded.) S t e l l a M c C a r t n e y j a c k e t . N i c h o l a s K i r k w o o d that was super cool. I don’t think I got
s h o e s . S y l v i a T o l e d a n o e a r r i n g s
In case it’s not already glaringly to explain to him how much I loved
O P P O S I T E P A G E
obvious: I have no idea what qualifies D i o r d r e s s a n d b o o t s him, but we didn’t have a lot of time.”





90 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020