The LAW OF SELFISHNESS By Lode Maria Loyens
Copyright © 2015 by Lode Maria Loyens All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher or the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Printed in the United States of America First Printing, 2015 ISBN 978-1514729229
DISCLAIMER Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.
How To Get EVERYTHING You Want! “The poor man is poor because he will not heed instruction.” ― Fred C. White COPYRIGHT © 2015 All Rights Reserved
By Lode M. Loyens TABLE OF CONTENTS Forword: Why This Book? Chapter 1: In The Beginning Chapter 2: Change Is In The Air Chapter 3: Failing Miserably Chapter 4: Turning It Around Chapter 5: The Great Reveal Chapter 6: 1 st True Story Chapter 7: 2 nd True Story Chapter 8: Because It Works Chapter 9: The Parable Of Two Businessmen Chapter 10: My Story (finally) Chapter 11: Utter Devastation Chapter 12: More Devastation Chapter 13: The Break-Through Chapter 14: Your Turn Chapter 15: Practicing Selfishness Chapter 16: 1 st Rule: Selfishness Is Not An Attitude Chapter 17: 2 nd Rule: Selfishness Is A State Of Being Chapter 18: 3 rd Rule: Selfishness Demands Total Respect Chapter 19: 4 th Rule: Selfishness Is Well Defined, Clearly Verbalized Chapter 20: 5 th Rule: Selfishness Is Always Demanded, Never Requested Chapter 21: 6 th Rule: Selfishness Is Total Awareness Chapter 22: 7 th Rule: Selfishness Is Total Acceptance Chapter 23: Selfishness VS Selfish Chapter 24: The Day That Changed Everything Chapter 25: The Next Step
FORWORD WHY THIS BOOK? Yet another 'how to' book? Do we really need one more? Libraries and bookstores are filled to the rafters with 'how to' books. So, the honest answer to this question is 'No, we don't'. And truth be told, I never intended to write this book, or any book for that matter. Simply because I am not a writer; nor do I have any training in the art of writing. There are other reasons why I never wanted to write a book. I have a difficult time putting my thoughts into words. English isn't my 1 st language. And frankly, up until now, I had nothing to say, leave alone teach. Besides, I've been a failure for most of my life. Despite my best efforts I always ended up on the losing end. And as we all know, no one wants to associate with a loser. So why would I ever want to write a book? All that changed in 2013 when I was yet once again trying to cope with yet one more failure in my life. Only this time, the failure was so huge that only a stroke of luck could alter the outcome. I got that stroke of luck. And it changed my life completely. Today I am not a failure anymore. Indeed, today, I am most definitely a winner. That's why I wrote this book. Because today, I have something to say; I have something to teach. So what that I have never been formally trained as a writer? So what that English is my 6 th language? So what? And you better take heart because this book isn't your typical 'how to' book
either. In fact, you couldn't be more wrong if that's what you're thinking. This book is an honest, in your face life lesson, taken from my own failures. Not only will this book shake you to your core but what I am going to teach you will give you a new lease on your life. So buckle up and get ready for the ride of your life; a new life, one in which you'll come to realize that you can have your cake and eat it too!
CHAPTER 1 IN THE BEGINNING Author Napoleon Hill spent 20 years interviewing successful people and compiling his findings in what became the bestselling book of all time “Think and Grow Rich!”. The book reveals in-depth character traits of successful individuals that still hold true today, 78 years after it was first published in 1937. That just goes to show you that when it comes to idealism of success, man hasn't changed. Indeed, the character traits Hill described in his work; a strong work ethic, staying focused, taking responsibility, having a plan and willingness to take a risk (to mention a few); are still the same core ingredients exhibited by many of today's elite. Yet as ground breaking as Hill's discoveries were when he first published these success traits, he seemingly missed the one key component that stands head and shoulders above the rest and which was the principal reason the men and women he interviewed achieved such enormous success in the first place. That one trait supersedes all other success traits and even today, almost 80 years later, it is still the dominant force that allows anyone who applies it, to accumulate great material riches. It's difficult to believe that Hill could have missed such an important factor. After all, Hill did interview over 500 successful men and women, many of them millionaires. There is no doubt that with that many interviews under his belt, he must have come across the one character trait that is the sole reason why some people have it all and others don't. As such it stands to reason that Hill did not miss this one key ingredient but intentionally refused to mention it in his book for fear of retaliation.
After all, he authored his findings during a time when successful men and women weren't just rich, they were all powerful. Rich folks in the thirties had enormous influence on an economical, social and even political level. It was a time when publicly criticizing any one of these rich and powerful individuals would cost you dearly. There is also no doubt that Hill was acutely aware of the times he lived in and he realized that by exposing even the slightest unsavory side of those he interviewed, it could well mean the end of his career as a writer. Certainly, Hill would never again be allowed to interview anyone else who was powerful and rich. Coming from very humble beginnings, Hill may not have been willing to sacrifice his own accomplishments for the sake of exposing the one key ingredient that was, is and always will be, the determining factor why many people aren't rich and probably never will be. It's plausible then that Napoleon Hill intentionally chose to omit this trait from his book. But times have changed. Freedom of speech and freedom of expression, combined with access to media venues at a scale never experienced before, allow us to speak our minds without fear for reprisal. In the rare instances that reprisal was noted, the individuals subjected to it, managed to find ways to safeguard themselves against those entities seeking 'self-justice'. I am talking about Edward Snowden, who blew the whistle on the US National Security Agency (NSA), putting the world on alert that the agency was spying on its citizens and world leaders. Or Julian Assange, founder of Wikileaks, the website that published hundreds of thousands of government documents, publicly revealing its secret dealings. Both men have managed to elude government sought justice thus far, albeit at a tremendous cost to themselves and their families. It's for that reason that I have willfully decided to share that one key personality trait that allows some of us to become rich and successful
while others continue to struggle despite their best efforts.
CHAPTER 2 CHANGE IS IN THE AIR At the time I began to write this book in May 2015, society's social classifications have drastically changed from what they once were. The middle class, once the corner stone for thriving communities everywhere, has all but disappeared with little chance that it will ever return to its former glory. Instead, today's society classes have been re-segmented into just two groups: the poor (the 99 percent) and the rich (the 1 percent). At the same time the rich underwent a re-classification of their own and are now referred to as 'the super rich' or 'the elite'. For those folks, it's no longer millions but billions of dollars that define their social status. As for the remaining 99 percent, the ones who are hopelessly trying to carve out a somewhat decent life for themselves, the reveal I make in this book will no doubt bring many to the same realization I had when I first discovered this life-changing secret. That secret is the realization that in your life you can have it all. You can have your cake and eat it too. And it is nearly not as difficult or as impossible as you may think. I discovered a code that will allow you to change your life in ways you never thought possible, simply by altering the way you behave and think. By studying the lives of John Lennon, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Oprah Winfrey, Willy Nelson and James Brown, I learned that no matter your background, no matter your education or lack there off, no matter your creed, the bounties of the world are yours to have if you are willing to live by the code that I reveal in this book. These five individuals seemed to possess an invincible force that allowed
them to achieve all the success they ever wanted almost at will. They managed to carve out a life for themselves that for many of us would take several lifetimes to accomplish, if at all. It is their accomplishments and my failures that led me to develop and perfect seven rules that make up the code. Once you master these rules you will never again live a mediocre or average life. Instead you'll have an entirely new lease on life; one that gives you everything you demand. But before I give you the code that makes that possible, I want you to know a bit more about me, so that you will have a better understanding how I stumbled upon this amazing discovery in the first place and why it became such a life changer.
CHAPTER 3 FAILING MISERABLY Already 60 years old, I am having a difficult time accepting the fact that I am still a member of the 99 percent group. The difficulty in accepting this truth stems not from the implied notion that the 99 percent group is in some way not adequate enough (I assure you they are). Rather, my disappointment comes from my personal conviction that I held dear since childhood that one day I would be rich. I knew from an early age that I was destined to posses great fortunes. I could feel it in my bones. Every hair on my body told me so. The desire to be rich consumed me. Every fiber of my being shouted out loud that one day I would be rich. There was just no other way about it. And so, at barely 17 years old, I embarked on creating and living the life of an entrepreneur for I had read somewhere that the only surefire way that I would ever amass riches was by having my very own business. What that book didn't spell out however, was that hard work, dedication, commitment, focus, resilience, determination, vision and a positive attitude were no guarantee that I would be successful. Indeed, not only did I fail miserably in my first business venture but as it turned out, failure would become a normal part of my life for the next 41 years. By the time I turned 58 years young, I had failed 11 times in 11 different businesses. In between my business failures I also had numerous personal failures. Some were so devastating, I still can't comprehend how I managed to keep on going. In the process of striving to become rich, I created a financial pit so deep it would take several life times before I would stand on solid ground again; an impossible feat considering each of us is given only one life. It is only by a stroke of pure luck that I managed to get my financial house in stable order again two years ago, when I became the fortunate recipient of a
small windfall that was just large enough to allow me to pay off all my debts. Yet with no more debts to bog me down, I wasn't nearly as eager as I once used to be to start yet another venture, possibly making it my twelfth failure and finding myself in financial ruin all over again. For it was clear to me that the advice I had gotten from the book I read when I was just a teenager and despite following and applying, almost religiously, every success trait spelled out in Napoleon Hill's book, I had not achieved the desired result I had envisioned since childhood. I had not become rich, not by a long shot. Instead, I had gone from a child growing up in an upper middle class family, where lack of money was never an issue, to having to count and account for every dime I spent. Short of stealing I had to beg and borrow time and again to stay afloat financially. Instead of enjoying the financially rewarding life I always thought I would have, I was living a financial nightmare, even though I had given my best effort to become rich. For forty-one years I had practiced what Napoleon Hill proclaimed were the key ingredients that made more than 500 people millionaires. Why, if these traits had worked so well for them, had they failed so miserably for me? Where had I gone wrong so badly? I asked myself that very question many times over. Yet time and again I didn't have the answer. I promised myself that before I would start another business I would know the answer to that question.
CHAPTER 4 TURNING IT AROUND Clearly for 41 years I had been missing something that had prevented me from becoming rich. There was something I lacked that others, who were successful, had. They weren't necessarily smarter than I or had more business savvy. They weren't better educated or were more adapt at operating a business than I was. In fact, many of today's successful people do not exhibit these qualities at all and yet somehow they became rich. Perhaps they are the so called 'lucky ones'? The ones who fell through the crack and simply became rich because they were destined to be? I refuse to buy into that kind of thinking for I am convinced that every man creates his own destiny based on the decisions he makes. Few, very few indeed, barely a handful, truly became rich because of pure luck. Granted, it doesn't hurt when your father hands you the reigns to his wealthy empire, allowing you full control of vast riches he gathered by his merits. Certainly such gift makes the road to more riches vastly easier. Still the gift alone won't make the recipient any richer if he doesn't apply his own merit to create more riches. Indeed there are stories abound of many an individual who inherited great riches only to end up poor and die broke. As such I had to find out for myself why some people have the Midas touch and succeed at just about everything they do, while others, myself included, can't get the horse out of the stable even if their very lives depend on it. That's why things had to be different for me this time around. There was no more room for failure in my life.
If I were to embark on yet another business venture, possibly my last one considering my age, I could no longer follow the advice I had been following for 41 years; not because the information Hill offered in his book wasn't of value, merely because at 58 years old I couldn't afford to waste more time on building yet another failure. This time around, any business venture I started would be my last chance to strike it rich. This time around I simply had to do it right from the get go, no two ways about it. I was adamant and determined to uncover the real secret that makes people successful. I decided to conduct my own research and find out for myself what is really required to become rich.
CHAPTER 5 THE GREAT REVEAL I set out to discover for myself why some folks become rich while others, equally competent individuals, simply are unable to produce the same results despite having real desire and true determination to accomplish this goal. Granted, not everyone is interested in becoming rich. There are those of us who are happy with the lives they live and content to just exist. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that idealism. As for myself I have never been content leading just an ordinary life, especially not when it comes to having the finer things in life. I always dreamed of living in a mansion on top of the hill with a panoramic view that's to die for. I always dreamed of driving the latest luxury car and travel the globe first class, staying at only the best rated hotels, wear only designer clothes, eat at the finest restaurants and shop at the most exclusive stores. Yes, I am not hiding it, I always wanted a rich life; I still do. It's the reason I decided to study others who live the life I always envisioned for myself, the life I now know I am entitled to. What I discovered after analyzing the traits of just a few successful people, left me stunned. I had only studied a handful of rich people, nowhere near the 500 Napoleon Hill interviewed for his book. And yet already I could see a pattern, a character trait that was common between them. Even more astonishing to me is that I am seemingly the only person alive who dares to address publicly this one special character trait that assures riches to anyone who applies it.
Indeed, since my teenage years I have devoured many a book claiming to contain the secret to riches. Not a single one I tell you, ever mentioned the one trait I discovered, as the real key to creating success. I wondered why, with so many self-help books written about how to become rich, not a single one of them mentions the principle trait one must have or develop if he ever intends to become rich. Why has no one, up until now, made any reference to this key factor? Could it be that like Napoleon Hill, authors of such books are well aware of the existence of this trait but like Hill are not willing to mention it out of fear for retaliation? Could it be? The more I began to focus on this one trait, the clearer and more obvious it became that my discovery is indeed the common thread that weaves through the characters of many rich people. Yes, these people also exhibit many of the traits Napoleon Hill described in his book. And they are certainly committed to their success. But what I found more than anything is that many rich people have one trait that a lot of the people belonging to the 99% group don't have. What is this trait you ask? Well here it is: Attention to themselves! That's it! This is the number one character trait you must possess or master if you want to become rich. And no I am not talking about how you look or appear in public. What I am talking about is much deeper than that. It is part of your psyche. It is your undying commitment to provide for yourself, to give to yourself before you give to others, to take for yourself first, without regard to what anyone may think or say about you or your actions.
Don't believe me? Let me prove it to you.
CHAPTER 6 1ST TRUE STORY Adear friend of mine, whom I have known for 35 years now, gave me permission to publish his true story as long as I don't mention his name, so … I won't. We met in the late 1970s. We clicked instantly and it didn't take long for us to become best friends. Our bond grew stronger by the day for obvious reasons: my friend was much like me. He was a hard worker, committed to his craft, giving it 110% every day, wanting to be the very best at what he did. And he was … well almost … he still had me to compete with. He also had a lighter side to him. He loved to laugh, tell jokes, pull harmless pranks and have a good time. On top of that his charisma oozed out of him. As time progressed and our friendship grew stronger, I began to see a darker side of my friend's behavior that I had never really noticed before; probably because in the past I didn't really pay attention to it. One day while standing about on a sidewalk, a homeless man approached us, asking for money. I reached in my pant pocket, pulled out a five dollar bill and give it to him. My friend on the other hand didn't give the homeless man anything. Instead he told him “can't help you man!” and left it at that. My friend's gesture bothered me. I knew he was making good money and he could easily afford to give a little to someone else. Even if he would have given this man one hundred dollars, it would not have hurt his financial well-being in the least bit. Yet my friend didn't give. He didn't even make an attempt to give. From then on I started to pay more attention to my friend's behavior. Time
and again I noticed when it came to sharing some of his good fortune with others he simple turned his back and walked away. I on the other hand, always gave; many times more than I really should have. What troubled me most was that my friend was not at all bothered by his lack of compassion for others while I on the other hand had a most difficult time refusing anyone. One day, yet another homeless man approached us for a hand out (they are everywhere in Los Angeles, sadly enough), and my friend yet once again simply shrugged his shoulders and walked away without handing the man even a dime. I decided it was time to confront him and ask him how he could be so uncaring with such ease towards those in need. To my great surprise, my friend told me something I had never expected to hear from him. Here's what he said: “It's not my job to take care of the needy; that's what we have the government and charities for. My job is to take care of me. It's first me, then me, then still me and then maybe, just maybe somebody else.” I stood perplexed. “You don't really mean that,” I answered. “Yes, I do!,” he responded. “I have to build my life first. My needs, my wants, my desires come first. Later on, after I have my life in place just the way I want it, I can always help someone else.” 35 years later, my friend is a multimillionaire. He owns many income properties which allow him to travel first class, eat at the finest restaurants, live in a mansion, drive the latest luxury cars and wear only designer clothes. My friend is living the life I had envisioned for myself ever since I was still a kid. True to his word, my friend is involved with many charities today and
gives abundantly to various needy projects.
CHAPTER 7 2ND TRUE STORY Alady friend whom I have also know for over two decades, migrated to the United States from a third world country with nothing more than the clothes she wore. In the US, she lived in a small backroom, barely large enough to fit a single bed. The bathroom was down the hall and was shared by everyone in the building. Despite her limited education; she only had a high school degree at that time, my friend managed to land a full-time job working in an office. By all accounts she was a devoted employee. She was always on time, never skipped a day, did what she was told to do, took her breaks exactly as instructed and finished her work day exactly at 5 PM. All the while my friend continued to live in the small backroom and continued to take the bus to wherever she needed to go. One year to the date she was hired, my lady friend told me she was buying a house. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. “How did you manage to do that?,” I wondered. “I've been saving every paycheck for the past year,” she said. “I only pay $100/month in rent for the room I live in. I spend about $150/month on food, electricity, gas and bus fare. The rest of my paycheck went in the bank and stayed there.” “How much did you save?,” I asked her. “Where are you buying the house and how much are you paying for it?” “I saved $15,000. The house I want to buy is listed for $175,000. I am offering $160,000. It's not in the greatest part of town but for now it will do.” In the end, my friend bought the house for $168,000. She put down
$10,000. Her monthly payment on a 30 years mortgage with a 10 percent fixed interest rate, came to $1,387. (yes, in the 80s, mortgage interest rates in Los Angeles ranged from 5 to 12% fixed and 3 to 7% variable, depending on your credit and percentage of down payment). After she moved into her new home, my friend continued what she'd been doing for the past year. She still took the bus to work every day and continued to save every dime she could hold on to. Several months after she'd moved into her home I asked my friend how she was doing. “Great!,” she responded with a big smile on her face. “How's the house coming along,” I asked. “Just wonderful. I fixed up the garage in the back of the house and turned it into an apartment. Nothing fancy, just the basics. A friend of mine fixed it up in his spare time. Now a woman and her small daughter live in it. She's paying me $1,300/month rent.” Say what? Was I hearing this right? Did my friend just tell me that she got someone to rent her converted garage for $1,300/month? That meant that my friend had to come up with only $87 every month to cover her mortgage payment! Wow! Talk about being a smart investor. What's more, although her monthly expenses were now higher than when she was living in the tiny backroom, she still managed to put $800 from her paycheck into her bank account every month. Several more months had passed when I spotted my friend at the bus stop. She was sitting on the bench reading a newspaper, the financial section nonetheless. “Want to become a banker?” I joked. “No, I am looking for lower mortgage rates. I want to refinance my house and pay less while saving more,” she said. “Since when did you become so money savvy,” I wanted to know.
“I am not, I am just looking out for myself, that's all. Nothing wrong with that right?,” she answered without ever gazing away from the paper she was reading. Sure enough, my friend was able to refinance her house at 6% fixed. That brought her mortgage payment down to just $947/month. All the while, the lady living in the back of the house was still paying her $1,300/month in rent. But rather than spending the $353 monthly profit she was now earning from her rental income, my friend applied the entire $1,300 to her mortgage payment every month. Not only did she get to pay off her house in far less time then the agreed upon 30 years and save herself a ton of interest, it also allowed her to add an additional $200/month from her paycheck into her bank account. Fast forward to today. My lady friend is married with 3 kids. She still lives in the same house she bought 20 plus years ago, only today, she owns it free and clear. The converted garage in the back of the house is still being rented out for $1,450/month. My friend also purchased a house in her native country. She owns that home free and clear as well. Additionally, she bought yet another home in the city that she rents out for the same amount as the mortgage payment for that house. All the while, she and her husband continue to work fulltime. Last time I saw her, which, as of this writing, was about a month ago, she confided in me that she has well over three hundred thousand dollars in the bank and that she has an additional thirty-five thousand dollars in a bank in her native country. Add it all up: 3 properties (which have gone up dramatically over the past eight years in Los Angeles), cash in the bank and cash she keeps stashed away at home and you'll find that my friend is a millionaires.
Not bad for a young girl who came from a poor country with barely an education or skill under her belt. She got what she has because she knew the secret ingredient to becoming rich: taking care of number one.
CHAPTER 8 BECAUSE IT WORKS The preceding two stories clearly demonstrate that total selfishness is the one key character trait you must have or master if you wish to become rich. And yet you're probably still skeptical and wonder if what I am telling you is really true. There is a good chance you're questioning if every rich man or woman operates by that trait. My answer: “The Majority Does!” Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule but remember, those are the exceptions, not the rule. For the most part, people who struck it rich operate under and live by the 'me first' philosophy. It's the only way one can amass riches in this highly competitive dog eats dog world we live in. And make no mistake about it; it's always been that way. Whether it was in the days of old when the railroad was first being built or today when technology rules the world; the single most important trait exhibited by many of the rich was and is 'self preservation' above all else. This explains why some rich people will only marry other rich people. Although as far as I am concerned, that act isn't based on selfishness but on being selfish. And as you'll read further in this book, selfishness and selfish are not at all the same thing. By the way, self-preservation is just a nicer way of saying 'me first' but the end result is the same.
Mr. Donald Trump, the New York based business tycoon, investor, television personality and author, sums it up best with his somewhat comical yet no nonsense expression: “It's Nothing Personal, It's Just Business!” I absolutely love this expression. It removes all ambiguity and leaves no doubt about how Mr Trump sees and thinks of himself and who is most important in his life. Care to guess who that might be? Elvis Presley, who was known for his fun demeanor and for being a 'giver', lived his life by the same philosophy. He wore a ring embedded with three initials which were also prominently displayed on the tail of his private plain: “TCB” Taking Care Of Business He also had the initials engraved on the clothes he wore. He had a necklace baring those same three initials as did his sunglasses. Many say that “Taking Care Of Business” was the expression Elvis used when he referred to his band. I tend to think otherwise. Why else would he go to such great length to make sure the world noticed those initials and knew what they meant? But even if I am wrong and the initials Elvis wore were indeed a reference to his band, he certainly endured hardship and ridicule during his childhood years and before he became a superstar because of the way he dressed, combed his hair, walked and talked. Still, Elvis Presley remained undeterred in his quest to become a singer.
As we all know, he certainly did achieve that goal several times over. Ever heard of a man named Kevin O'Leary or how about Mark Cuban? You may know them from the popular ABC reality show 'Shark Tank'. Both men are billionaires in their own right and both men make no qualms about the fact that their own self-preservation takes precedence over anything or anyone else. The answer is clear. If you wish to get everything you want, you must practice total selfishness. There is just no other way about it, regardless of what anyone has told you or what you may read somewhere. Only total devotion to total selfishness at all times will bring you the riches you seek. You've been given proof, by known and unknown individuals, that complete selfishness is the one key character trait you must master and apply continuously and consistently if you wish to be rich. Yet you may still not believe me. You may still doubt that you must exercise utter selfishness at all times if you want to be rich. To illustrate this point even further and rub the importance of this concept even deeper into your brain, let me give you two more stories that serve to demonstrate that total selfishness is what is required to create riches. The first story is a parable that I learned at an early age but never understood the lesson it teaches until just two years ago. Today you'll get to learn that lesson first hand. You won't have to wait 41 years like I did to understand the moral of the story. The second story is my own true story in which I share with you that not practicing total selfishness only leads to frustration, anger, resentment, despair and in some instances poverty and even self-destruction.
CHAPTER 9 THE PARABLE OF TWO BUSINESSMEN Our town was fortunate to have two bicycle stores. Considering bicycles were for most residents their primary means of transportation, having access to not one but two bicycle shops was a luxury few towns could match. What's more,the stores were on opposite ends of the town, making is totally convenient for anyone looking to buy a new bike or needing to have their old one repaired. The shop on the east side of town was owned and operated by Joe. He was a jolly, kind and caring man. He always had a smile on his face, loved children and was always ready to extend a helping hand. Judging from the daily crowd that hung out at Joe's store, it appeared his business was booming. On any given day there were at least 10 people in his store, most of them were kids or teenagers. Bikes were piled up against his store's front facade and quite often customers had to climb over them to get inside the store. The shop wasn't kept well and was almost always in disarray. Bicycle parts lay everywhere, greasy bike chains hung from the counter and tools lay spread out over the floor. Through it all Joe smiled and handled the hundreds of request to fix a bike with uncanny ease. “Hey Joe, I am missing the nut on my front wheel, can I grab one from the box?” “Sure thing,” Joe replied. “How much?”
“Five cents!” “Don't have five cents on me right now, can I pay you tomorrow?” “Sure!” But tomorrow never came and Joe wrote off the loss as “it's only five cents”. Another kid would ask Joe to tighten up his bicycle chain a bit. When Joe replied he didn't have the time to do that this instance and the kid should leave his bike and he would attend to it later, the conversation turned into this: “Joe, you mind if I grab the tool from the shack and do it myself?” “Well OK! Just don't hurt yourself and put the tool back when your done.” “I will, thanks Joe”. More often than not, the tool never made it back into the shack. Instead it ended up on the floor somewhere. In some instances it would disappeared all together. Yet time and again Joe allowed his customers to take nuts from the box and use his tools. “It's alright,” Joe would say. “It's all part of a day's work. I enjoy what I do and I enjoy the kids, no harm done.” And indeed, the kids loved Joe. Everybody in town knew Joe and not a single person, young or old, had anything bad to say about him. Joe was a good guy. While Joe continued his daily business in clutter and disarray, paying more attention to the welfare of others than his own, Joey, the owner of the bicycle shop on the west side of town ran an entirely different operation with an entirely different attitude. Joey's shop was neat and clean, well organized. The floor sparkled. There were no greasy chains hanging from his counter and no tools were sown about across the floor. At Joey's shop everything had its place and
everything was in its place. Kids weren't allowed to pick nuts from the box and no customer, even those who purchased a brand new bicycle, were allowed to use his tools. There were no bicycles clogging up his doorway either. Joey rarely smiled and he never allowed anyone to take a bicycle part without paying for it first, even if it was only a 5 cents nut. Joey had a tight grip on his business but from the looks of things, his store wasn't going all that well. No matter what time of day you passed by his shop, there was rarely anyone inside. People in town weren't all that fond of Joey either and many were quick to talk negatively about him. That didn't bother Joey one bit. He stuck to his guns and continued to operate his bicycle store with a firm hand, looking out for himself and his business, just like he'd done since the day he started it many years ago. Time passes. Both men are getting too old to continue their craft and it's time for them to retire. The day Joe closed the doors to his bicycle shop for good, the entire town had a party in his honor. They celebrated with music and plenty of beer. Joe smiled ear to ear. Months later Joe was spotted looking for work. Despite having been in business for more than 20 years, he didn't have any money and needed to work to survive. Several years later he passed away a poor man. Joey never closed the doors to his business. Instead, he put his pristine shop up for sale. Barely one month later, he sold it to a large sports conglomerate for a hefty price. Within a few months after selling his store, Joey began construction on what would become the most impressive house anyone in town had ever seen.
Not only did Joey live in a brand new mansion, he had a brand spanking new luxury car parked in his driveway too. Whenever he walked into town he was dressed impeccably well. He ate at the finest restaurants and traveled in style. Joey lived life like a king and would continue to live that way until his dying day. What's the lesson of this parable? Joey placed his own interest before the want and needs of others while Joe did the opposite. As such, Joey ended up retiring rich and living a very prominent and prosperous life. Joe on the other hand was force to labor till his dying day and despite his hard work never got to experience the finer things life has to offer. In other words, look out for yourself and take care of yourself before you look out and take care of someone else. This is a powerful lesson you should take to heart, especially if you wish to become rich. For many a good man and good woman, this is a hard and difficult lesson to learn. For those individuals selfishness is like an ugly disease of sorts. Up until two years ago I used to be one of those good men who used to think that way. I don't anymore! That brings me to my story.
CHAPTER 10 MY STORY (finally) I won't bore you to death with the details of my 11 business failures but I will touch on a few of my personal failures, those that were the most devastating to me and forced me to alter my ways or end up just like Joe. From early on I believed with heart and soul that I would be rich one day and enjoy the bounties of life in a way only rich folks can. I was absolutely certain of that and I would do whatever I had to do to ensure I would get my piece of the pie of riches. But growing up as the middle child of a large family in a small town where everybody knows everyone, my mom wasn't about to let me go about my day with a selfish attitude. After all she had raised my older siblings to be kind, caring, compassionate individuals and she was determined to do the same with me and the younger brood. Each day she would tell me to be loving, generous, truthful, humble and grateful. Above all she instilled in me to be understanding and forgiving. Virtues, as she called them, that would turn me into a good man. I took the bait, hook, line and sinker. How could I not? After all she was my mom. I loved her dearly and she loved me. Besides, she didn't just teach me these virtues, she herself lived by them. My mom always had a smile and she never had a bad word to say about anyone. She always placed the needs of others before her own. My dad on the other hand, was more the Joey type: stern, strict, not very talkative but a man who marched with a purpose and who made it clear to us never to be anyone's fool. “When you argue with an idiot, you're the idiot,” he'd say. Indeed few men dared to get into a verbal quarrel with my dad. Not because at 6 ft. 8 in. tall he was an intimidating figure but
because my dad had the uncanny ability to put you in your place using only a few precise words. I looked up to my dad, figuratively and literally, and wanted to be like him: a self assured man who knew his place in life, knew what he wanted from life and didn't allow anyone to push him from his throne. Yet somehow, I am still not sure why, I followed my mom's advice, adopted her virtues as my own and lived my life accordingly. Looking back at those days I must admit I liked who I was; a kind and caring kid with a giving, compassionate, understanding and forgiving nature. In 1977 I migrated to the United States and all the virtues that my mom had instilled in me and that I had so carefully nurtured as a child, became a detriment to my existence. Los Angeles was nothing like my hometown and people in the city took my kindness for weakness. Honesty meant little to few. A handshake made over a deal had no value or good intend. Even homeless people were ungratefully. At one time I gave one of them a quarter instead of the fifty cents he'd asked for. Truth was that at that moment, a quarter was all I had in my pocket, yet I gave it to him with a caring heart, only to be spat on. Despite my initial negative experiences I decided to stay true to myself and not become like so many others in the city. I decided to live by the virtues my mom had taught me. Little did I know at that moment just how wrong I was with my decision and how much pain and suffering I would have to endure just because I chose to continue to be a 'good man'.
SIDE NOTE: +++++++ I am putting the finishing touches on a new book detailing my 11 business failures. To get a copy of the book send an email to [email protected].
CHAPTER 11 UTTER DEVASTATION Back in the late 70s and early 1980s, I worked at a restaurant that was the most expensive dining place in Los Angeles. Featuring the finest Italian cuisine money could buy, it attracted only the cream of the crop. Anyone who was anyone in town frequented the place. I loved working there. Not only did I get to practice my Italian daily, I got to have one on one conversations with such movie and music legends as Glen Ford, Fred Astaire, Sydney Poitier, Robert Redford, Barbra Streisand, Cher, Liza Minnelli, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Glen Campbell, Julio Iglesias, Lucho Gatica and many more. I also experienced first hand what it's like serving powerful bosses of the underworld. Dubious characters who gave me detailed instructions of what I could or couldn't do while they were dining behind closed doors in the restaurant's backroom. As frightening an experience as this was the first time I waited on them, the financial reward I got afterwards in the form of tips, made it well worth whatever anxiety they put me through. Let me add that as I got to wait on those fellows more often, I began to feel more at ease as they became more open and friendlier towards me. At one point I actual had a sit-down conversation with one of them. Every day offered new excitement and I looked forward to sharing my culinary expertise with the in crowd; something they clearly appreciated judging from the generous tips I received. Many times, the tips I got were double, even triple the amount of the actual check. And so the hard work and double shifts I slaved away at to ensure my customers would receive a dining experience they would not forget and only wanted more of, were absolutely worth it. The longer I worked at the restaurant the more of a 'personal' customer
base I built up; you know, diners who specifically requested to have a table in my section. After 10 years of devoting myself to my craft day in and day out, two out of every three customers asked to be seated in my section; a feat that I was extremely proud of but that clearly didn't sit well with the restaurant owner. One Friday evening, with the place packed to the rafters, as customers stood in the lobby waiting to be seated with me, the boss got into a rage unlike anything he'd ever displayed before. Suddenly and without warning, he grabbed the large, thick and heavy reservation book from its wooden stand and threw it full force on the marble lobby floor. Bam! It sounded like a bomb explosion. At the same time he yelled as loud as he could: “If everyone wants to sit with Lode then Lode should open up his own restaurant”. Everyone who witnessed the outburst stood perplexed; no one talked. Some of the guests turned around and walked out. Some stayed and continued to insist to be seated with me despite what they had just seen. My station was right by the lobby area and thus I saw and heard everything that transpired. I could only shake my head in disgust. I apologized to my customers for the disturbance they had to endure considering that all they really wanted was to spend a nice, quiet, enjoyable evening at the finest restaurant in town and being served by their favorite waiter. Instead they had their peaceful evening shattered by a lunatic Italian. When the shift was over, a few of my co-workers and I decided to have a drink or two before calling it a night. Once settled in at the bar we frequented a lot, the discussion inevitably led to what had happened at the restaurant earlier that evening. “What a jerk,” said one of my friends. “A total a..hole,” responded another. “Man, he should be grateful to have a waiter like you. The place is
packed because of you and he knows it. What a total dick he is,” yet a third friend said. “I would quit right now if I were you. The customers would disappear in no time. That would teach him a lesson.,” the first friend said. Throughout the conversation I remained quiet and reflected upon what my friends were saying. They were right. I had given 10 years of my life to that place and worked my butt off to build up the loyal customer base I had. Not only that, I did whatever I was asked to do with a smile on my face. I remembered one such time when my boss asked me to be the parking attendant because their usual guy hadn't shown up. Next thing I know is that I am rushing in and out of Rolls Royces, Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Mercedeses at neck breaking speed; all the while running myself ragged, crisscrossing the large parking lot. I had never done this before, yet somehow I managed to park those luxury autos without a hitch and returned them to their rightfully owners with total grace and a big smile. There were a few instances when I couldn't locate the ignition lock in a couple of cars and I had to ask the owners to go fetch their own vehicle. Despite this hiccup I was still being rewarded handsomely for my efforts. One man in particularly, who drove a old British Rolls Royce model that sparkled like a diamond, handed me a one hundred dollar bill because as he put it: “I tried my very best”. Another time, I was asked to be the bartender because he'd called in sick at the last minute. Since I knew how to serve cocktails (I graduated with highest honors from a hotel school in Europe), I complied with the request, saving the restaurant from certain disaster and major loss of revenue. At yet another time, a lunch waiter didn't show up for work. The boss told me to serve the customers seated in the station belonging to the absent waiter, together with my own station Each station had 9 tables. That meant I had to wait on 18 tables total, each of which could seat at least 4 people.
I ran myself ragged that day to keep up with the work flow. Somehow I managed to do just that. I didn't have a single complaint. In fact, the opposite was true. Customers bragged to the hostess about what a lovely meal they had had and how delightful a waiter I was. While I sat there reflecting, it suddenly dawned on me that in the 10 years I worked for that man he had never given me a raise. It's not that we made a lot of money from our paychecks. At just $15/per day minus taxes, the ink the check was written with was worth more than the value of the check. It was the principle that mattered. Other waiters, who weren't nearly as qualified as I was, had received raises. Granted I made way more tips than they did but that was because of my own effort. I was the best at my job and my customers rewarded me accordingly. Still, I wondered why I had never received a raise during all the years I devoted myself to his business. I wondered why I had never been promoted to captain. Other waiters who were hired after me had already been promoted to captain and yet everyone knew that I was by far the most qualified to hold such position. At that moment I decided I was going to confront my boss the very next day before starting my shift. I was going to demand a raise and insist on being given the rank of captain. The next day, a Saturday, I couldn't wait to get to work. I was ready to claim what was rightfully mine. The moment I walked through the restaurant door and spotted my boss I stopped him and asked to talk to him. Reluctantly he agreed. I cut right to the chase and asked him point blank why he had never giving me a raise all these years. I wanted to know why he had never promoted me to captain, considering that for 10 years I had been a loyal and devoted employee who made him and his partners very rich. His answer shocked me. Just last night he got in a rage and screamed that I should get my own
place. Now he was telling me that he never made me a captain because if he did he would lose the best waiter this restaurant had ever had. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. For a moment I was numb. Then I gathered myself and answered him: “That's just a darn shame you thought that way because as it stands now you are losing your very best waiter anyway. I quit.” And with that I took off my bow tie, stood up and walked out, never to return again. I didn't care the restaurant was solid booked that night and I left them hanging. I didn't care if the place burnt down to the ground. All these years the boss knew just how good a waiter I truly was and just how very much I deserved that promotion and yet he never made any attempt to acknowledge that. I felt so used, so betrayed, so worthless. For a long time after this incident I thought there was something wrong with me for allowing a stupid drunk to take such advantage of me for so long. Today I realize it wasn't his fault, it was my own. All the while I worked at the restaurant, he was looking our for himself and I wasn't. I should have looked out for myself as well and uttered my discontentment a long time ago instead of waiting 10 years and let it blow up in my face.
CHAPTER 12 MORE DEVASTATION By the late 1980s computers were up and coming. They weren't main stream yet as they are today but a few of the bigger companies already had them. I wanted to be part of this new wave and went back to school to earn a degree as a computer software and hardware engineer. Even before I graduated I got hired as a Junior Programmer by a prestigious company located in the heart of Century City, aka Los Angeles' Business District. The salary and benefits package they offered me were outstanding. I was on cloud nine. No sooner did I start working at my new job or it became crystal clear why I received such handsome financial compensation. The boss demanded utmost perfection and punctuality. He held weekly meetings, attendance required, that started at 7:00 AM sharp and ended at 8:00 AM on the dot. He demanded input from everyone and scrutinized everything you said or did. Every minute of the workday had to be productive. There was no slacking off. Breaks were taken at the same time by everyone and lasted an exact amount of time, not a second longer. At 4:50 PM we all stopped working and were given the next 10 minutes to organize our workload for the next day, which had to be placed on his desk. At 5:00 PM exactly our workday ended and we were ordered to leave the office. The boss managed his company with an iron fist, laser sharp focus and a seemingly endless supply of energy, as if driven by an invisible force. Giant banners with the slogan: “We are the best. We are Fortune 500!”, were posted in every room, including the kitchen. It didn't take long for the results of our 'mad-men' like work ethics to materialize Within just 9 months after I was hired, the company rose from
an obscure business housed in a tiny office in Santa Monica to number 173 on the Fortune 500 list. By then, the company occupied the entire top floor of a prominent building in Century City. Forbes Magazine wrote an article about the company, calling it the fastest growing tech company in the U.S.A. at that time. One day while organizing my desk for the next workday, the sales manager approached me and asked me to compile a one-of-a-kind sales report he needed for next day's sales meeting. He wanted to show the boss the company's future growth potential based on present performances. I told him we didn't have such a report and I would have to create it from scratch, which would take several hours to complete. Since it was time for me to leave the office, the report would have to wait till the next day after I completed the projects I was already working on. ------------ You've got to remember, this was back in the late 80s. Software wasn't nearly as abundant or as sophisticated as it is today and often times, many of the things we wanted a computer to do simply didn't exist and new code had to written from scratch to accomplish that specific task. Such was the case with the report the sales manager wanted. ------------ My answer wasn't good enough. “I really need this report for tomorrow morning's meeting. I allow you to stay and create the report. When you're finished, place it on my desk. I'll notify the security office you'll be working late.” The sales manager didn't wait for a response from me. He turned around and walk away. I sighed, turned my computer back on, went to grab a cup of coffee, set down at my desk and began to work.
I spent hours creating the report. There was a lot of data that had to be incorporated in the report; data I had to retrieve from the accounting program. To accomplish that task I had to first write a software patch that allowed the accounting program to communicate with a third-party report generating software the company used. I also had to make sure that the data I retrieved and compiled in the report was accurate. The entire process was much more complicated and took a lot longer than I had imagined. By the time I finally finished the report, the clock struck 5:00 AM. I had labored an additional 12 hours (without pay – I received a salary) on top of my regular eight hours work day. But it was done. Exhausted I placed the report on the sales manager's desk together with a small note I wrote. ===== The Note Read: ===== Here's the report. I won't be in for work tomorrow, considering I worked through the night to finish it. Good luck with your meeting. Lode ===== End Of Note ===== The next morning, about 9:30 AM, I am being awaken by the shrill sound of the telephone. “Hello”, I mumble still half asleep. “Lode?” “Yes, this is Lode.”
“Where the hell are you? At this company we start work at eight o'clock sharp, not when you feel like it. Get your ass over here now or look for employment elsewhere.” Then I heard a clicking sound and the line went dead. Instantly I knew it was my boss who called and cursed me out. But why? Certainly the sales manager must have told him that I worked through the night to finish an important report. I got out of bed, took a shower, got dressed, skipped breakfast, got in my car and drove to work. By the time I got to the office it was 11:30 Am. The front desk secretary greeted me with “Good Morning; Mr. W is expecting you in his office right away.” No sooner did I enter the boss' office or he ordered me to sit down in the chair facing his enormous oak desk. Without as much as a good morning, he came down on me. “The only reason you're still with this company is that up until today you have been an excellent employee and your work has been outstanding. But that doesn't mean you can suddenly just slack off. I have a system going here that operates flawlessly like a well-oiled machine. It's up to me to keep my company moving. I can't have slackers and lazy people working for me. What you did today sets a bad example for the rest of the company....” By then I was forcing myself to stay awake. With barely 3 hours sleep my mind was in a fog. I was no longer paying attention to what he was saying. The only sounds I could still hear were I, I, I, I. Finally, he stopped talking. 20 minutes had passed. For a moment there was utter silence in his office. “Well, what have you got to say for yourself,” he asked with a thundering voice while giving me a mean stare. “Sir, I worked through the night to finish a sales report the sales manager wanted to have for this morning's meeting. Before going home, I left a note on his desk telling him I wouldn't be coming to work today because I worked all night. Didn't he tell you that?”
“Yes, he did but he doesn't make the rules here, I do. I decide who stays late and who does what around here, including not showing up for work.” Once again my mind began to drift and once again all I could hear was I, I, I. The last thing I heard him say was: “Now go to your desk and start working. Make sure this will never happen again.” I was too tired to say anything else. I got up from the chair and walked out of his office. On the way to my desk I began to reflect about what had transpired. I kept thinking about how I worked through the night to complete an all important last minute project. Didn't I deserve to get sleep afterwards? I wasn't a machine. By the time I got to my desk I could barely keep my eyes open. The day progressed ever so slowly. It seemed as if time had come to a grinding halt. Finally, it was 5:00 PM. I rushed out the door, drove home and climbed straight into bed. The very next day I was up and about early. I had made up my mind I was going to confront both the sales manager and the boss about what had happened the day before. I just couldn't let it rest. Again I felt used and taken advantage of. The incident reminded me about what had happened to me when I worked at the restaurant. Only this time, I wasn't going to wait another 10 years before I spoke up. This time, I was going to look out for me. By the time I got to the office, the boss was already running about in high gear. The sales manager was not at his desk. I informed the secretary I wanted a private meeting with the boss and the sales manager. She said she would let them know. But as the day progressed the meeting didn't happen. I started to get restless. Finally, at 4:30 PM, I was summoned to the boss' office.
The sales manager and the boss were both sitting in a couch at the far end of the office, sipping some type of alcoholic beverage when I walked in. No sooner did I close the office door behind me or the boss began to speak. “Yes Lode, what can I do for you,” he asked me immediately. “I'd like to discuss what happened yesterday,” I responded. “Yes, go ahead, we're listening.” I explained to both the boss and the sales manager that I didn't think I was treated fairly yesterday. I told them that I worked 20 hours straight and delivered the report in the end. Wasn't that ample proof of my commitment to the company and didn't I deserve to get much earned rest? Besides I didn't make the decision to work late on my own accord; the sales manager ordered me to. The boss spoke again: “Your commitment to my company has never been an issue. As I told you yesterday you are an excellent employee; a real asset to the company and Jim and I are most pleased with the report you produced. But as I also said I can't have you slacking off. For you to decide on your own that just because you worked through the night you don't need to show up for work the next day, sets a bad example for the rest of my staff. I simply won't tolerate it.” “But sir …,” I rebutted. “No Lode, what you should have done is show up on time at 8:00 AM and let me know that you worked through the night to finish a much needed project and that you would like to go home for the day. Instead you took matters into your own hands and decided what to do. You are in no position to make decisions on behalf of this company. That's my job. I decide what takes place here. I make the rules here and as long as I am at the helm of this company that's the way it will be. This meeting is over. You can go.”
And with that he took another sip from his drink. Needless to say, shortly after this encounter I handed in my resignation and moved on. For the longest time I couldn't get this incident out of my mind. It bothered me that this time I didn't wait 10 years to speak up but confronted the situation immediately and head on and yet I still ended up holding the short end of the stick. It wasn't until much later that I realized that the reason I lost a well paying job was not because I didn't try to look out for myself but because I simply went about it the wrong way. Instead of letting the sales manager order me about I should have told him that I needed to confirm his request with the boss. As for the boss, he did what any boss in his position would have done and does: he looked out for himself with total and complete focus; even if it meant losing a good employee, for he knew that with the salaries and benefits packages he offered, he could rapidly recruit new top talent and that gave him all the power.