Konosuba Side Stories

“Sorry, I’m a little worried about her, so can you stick with her
too? I’ll have dinner ready for everyone when you get back, so…”
“…Phony Crusader…”
Next to her, Darkness sat gloomily on the sofa, seemingly shaken
to her very core by those words.
Oh, fine…
[TL: In the WN, hints were dropped as to Chris’s true identity,
but that was one the plotlines that was dropped in the LN, so
Kazuma never finds out that Chris is Eris in the WN.]
“Chris, as my only ally, it’s best that I reveal my true identity to
you right now.”
I don’t know where she’s headed, but Aqua said that while making
her way down the street with the stack of recruitment forms in her
hand.
Chris, with a similar stack of papers in her head, nodded along as
she followed behind her,
“Indeed, my true identity is the heartwarming and beautiful
Goddess of Water! Aqua in the flesh! The other day, the
greengrocer said ‘taking her name as well as dressing up as her,
you sure are devoted to her’, but that’s not it at all! I’m the real
deal! I’m a real goddess!”
Aqua suddenly spun around and delivered that speech to Chris.

250

So such a thing happened. This might be the whole reason why
she suddenly brought up gaining more followers.
Still, even if you say that, I don’t think there’d be anyone in this
world who’d believe you…
“Is that so? That’s amazing! Thank you for telling me.”
Chris said with a smile on her face…
…Eh?
“Eh!? You believed her that easily!?”
“Y-Yeah! Aren’t you going to start laughing, or say that taking the
name of the god so casually will lead to divine punishment, or
start throwing stones at me or anything? You really believed me
that easily?”
Not only me, but Aqua seemed equally surprised.
Still, I can’t believe what she got up to without me knowing about
it.
“Back when the Dullahan killed a large number of people in town,
you were the one who brought them all back, weren’t you? I
already knew from back then that you aren’t just an ordinary
person.”
……

251

“Waaaaah! I knew it, you are my only true ally! Chris, won’t you
join the Axis Cult!? If you join now, I’ll show you the legendary act
of having boiling tea pour out of your navel!”
“N-No, I’m an Eris… Ah! Aqua-san, don’t cry! Come on, let’s work
hard to gather more followers!”
…I have a really bad feeling about this.
“Right, then, let’s get going!”
As Aqua took the lead once more, I followed behind Chris and
whispered to her,
“Hey, Chris, I can already see her messing up and ending up in
tears, so why don’t we just go grab some tea and hurry back
home?”
“Y-You don’t really have much respect for gods, do you… Aqua-
san is a really powerful and important goddess, you know? No one
can live without water. Everyone takes getting fresh water every
day for granted, that’s why no one respects her very much.”
Chris said that in reply.
Still…
“Hey, Chris! It may not be particularly useful to you, but I’m going
to teach some good methods to gain the faith of the people and
increase your followers!”
“Ah, thanks…”

252

Aqua walked along with a spring in her step, perhaps being
overjoyed that Chris has acknowledged her.
Seeing her like this makes it hard to think of her as a powerful
water goddess…
“Ah, over there! There’d be a lot of people in trouble over there!”
That was a small store tucked away in a back alley.
Just as I was wondering what kind of store it was, a blonde,
thuggish-looking adventurer with scary eyes came out of it with a
few wads of eris bills in his hand.
…Actually, I know that guy.
Looking closer, that’s actually a money lending shop.
I never knew that there existed such a store in Axel until now.
…How did Aqua know about this store?
Aqua boldly walked up to the store and sat down in front of it.
Seeing that, the owner of the store, a rugged-seeming middle aged
man came rushing out.
This isn’t good, I should get Aqua out of here before it becomes a
fight…!
“…Hey, come on, Aqua-san, I’ve told you numerous times that I
can’t lend you money, haven’t I? We can’t lend money to people

253

who have no ability to pay. And I don’t want any trouble with the
Axis Cult, so lending to Axis Cultists is strictly off-limits.”
So they know each other.
“Hey, why are you so mean towards Axis Cultists? When those
children are in trouble, I would really like it if you could lend
money to them without discrimination! …Anyway, I’m not here to
borrow money or harass you. I’m not particularly troubled by
money right now.”
“…Just by sitting there, you’re already harassing us by quite a bit…
So, why are you here today?”
“I thought I’d give advice to people who are in so much trouble
that they’d visit your store not to borrow from such stores.”
“So you are here to harass us! Stop getting in the way of our
business! Seriously, just give me a break. This is why Axis Cultists
are so troublesome. Here, I’ll give you this bottle of wine as a
donation, so please leave.”
As Chris and I watched from a distance, Aqua returned to us with
a bottle of wine in her hand.
“See?”
“Don’t give me that! What did you even come out here for! Stop
giving people trouble and start doing some missionary work
already!”

254

“Aqua-san, that wasn’t missionary work, that was just plain
blackmail! You really shouldn’t do that kind of stuff! The Axis
Cult’s reputation will fall even further!”
──After leaving the shop, we had a strategy meeting at a corner
of the street.
“Oh, fine, I’ll just have to think of a couple good ways of soliciting
new recruits for you.”
“With the underhanded,sly and surprisingly silver-tongued
Kazuma-san on my side, this thing is as good as done!”
“You’re kinda reckless in your plans, so I’m a little uneasy…. Ah,
don’t bully Aqua-san, you’ll get divine punishment!”
As I pulled on Aqua’s cheeks in revenge for her words that
sounded like insults through praise, Chris hurriedly rushed over
to stop me.
She really shouldn’t coddle her that much…
“Right, so here is the plan. That plan you had of approaching
people who are in trouble isn’t bad, the issue is that you choose
the wrong store. The only people who’d visit that store are people
desperate for money, so you’ll have to practically pay them to
listen to you. I’m sure you don’t want to buy new followers with
money either, right?”
“I don’t mind at all.”
“Aqua-san! You can’t do that! Faith is a very precious thing!”

255

Chris immediately started lecturing Aqua after hearing her say
that with a straight face.
…I always thought of her as a rambunctious, happy-go-lucky
tomboy, but she seems to be quite pious despite being a thief.
“Well, anyway, we first need to find someone in need. Aqua, go
take the toilet paper from all the toilets in the park. Then we’ll set
up a stake out near the toilets.”
“I see, you’re targeting people who rushed to the toilets in their
time of need! As expected of Kazuma, you really are reliable in
such times!”
“You two have it completely backwards! What is the point of
getting people into trouble!? This is why the Axis Cult gets such a
bad rap!”
“Hey, Chris, is this really going to work? Wouldn’t it be better for
me to put on an act, then get people to sign on the paper if they
want to see the rest?”
In the middle of the most crowded street in Axel, Aqua, holding a
stack of papers in her hand, nervously said to Chris.
Chris’s plan was to honestly preach their doctrine to passersby
and gain new recruits that way.
“You can’t do that, Aqua-san. That wouldn’t solve anything at all…
Why are you soliciting in the first place? To bring salvation to
those in need, right? …Even if no one listens to you, there’s no
need to feel down. If someone was guided by your voice and

256

joined the faith, that means you’ve saved someone in trouble. If
our voice doesn’t reach anyone, that simply means that no one is
in trouble. If no one joins, that just means that not a single person
you met today is suffering. In other words, it’s a wonderful day.”
Chris said with a gentle smile on her face.
“…What’s with you, Chris? You sound just like a Priest with those
cool lines.”
“Yeah. It’s a little off for me to say this, but I think Chris might be
more suited to become a Priest than even me.”
“!? Ah, no, that’s not it! You know, I think Darkness said
something like that a while back! I’m just passing it on!”
The phony Crusader actually said something this cool?
Aqua grabbed her stack of papers with a look of fresh
determination.
“Well, nevermind. Yeah, it’s no good being uncertain before it
even starts! I’m going to convert all the Eris cultists in this world
into Axis Cultists and turn the Axis Cult into the dominant
religion!”
“I-I really wish you wouldn’t do that…”
Chris muttered under her breath as she saw Aqua charge off.
──A few minutes later.

257

“Axis Cult! Axis Cult! Please join the Axis Cult! Is anyone in
trouble!? Is anyone at a loss!? Please think of the Axis Cult when
you’re in trouble! Please think of the Axis Cult when you’re
unhappy! …Young man who seemed troubled by the look of your
face, would you be interested in having a word?”
Aqua, who had rocks thrown at her because she occasionally says
such unnecessary things, seemed completely undeterred as she
threw them back and raised her voice once again.
“Please consider the Axis Cult!”
──One hour later.
“Umm, how about joining the Axis Cult? Umm, something good
will befall you. Aren’t you interested at all? You’ll become better at
your craft, and, umm, you’ll definitely hear a lot of happy voices in
your future, you know?”
Aqua’s sales pitch seems to be going in strange directions as
people continued passing her by without paying her any heed.
Chris watched on with clenched fists.
“Umm… I’ll teach you a wonderful act that will definitely liven any
room up…”
Don’t lose your direction!
Keep at it! Keep at it for just a while more.
── Three hours later.

258

“…Axis Cult… Sniff… Axis Cult… Is anyone… Sniff… interested?”
Seems like this is her limit.
I got up from my seat to collect Aqua who was sniveling as she
said her sales pitch…
──But Chris grabbed the hem of my shirt.
Then, Chris walked straight over to her.
“Sniff… Axis Cult… Axis Cult… Ah…”
When she noticed Chris’s presence, Aqua’s face twisted like she
was about to finally break into tears.
Chris placed a comforting hand on her shoulders and said in a
stern voice,
“Aqua-san, good work. Your efforts today aren’t in vain. After all,
it simply means that none of the people that you’ve met today are
troubled. If you think of it as evidence of yet another peaceful day,
doesn’t it feel like a good thing that you couldn’t recruit a single
person today?”
“…Not at all…”
It didn’t seem like Chris’s words got through to Aqua as she cried
into Chris’s chest.

259

“…Ah, there’s tomorrow! Let’s work hard again tomorrow, okay?
I’ll help you every day. Let’s extend a helping hand to the people
in town who are in trouble and need help tomorrow!”
At Chris’s encouragement, Aqua tearfully nodded.
…Well, she’ll probably perk up after going home and eating the
food that Megumin has prepared.
──Just then.
“As expected, an Eris church member sure is different! Well said!”
“It really is! It’s even making me want to give it my all tomorrow!”
“The Eris Church really is different. You look really cool.”
“This is why the Eris Church is so reliable! You know, I’ve heard
that devout Eris worshippers can get loans without any security or
interest!”
“I’m joining the Eris Church!”
The people who happened to be passing by suddenly exploded
into praises for Chris.
They probably figured out she was a member of the Eris Church
from the shining pendant she was wearing.
“Eh!? No, eh, t-that’s…! I… I… That’s not what I’m trying to do…!”

260

As Chris was thrown into a state of confusion from the sudden
outpouring of praise, Aqua shakily got to her feet.
“T-The Eris Church is my enemy~! Waaaaaah! What is so good
about that padded goddess!?”
“A-Aqua-san!? Don’t shout that at the top of your lungs while
running through the street!”
As Aqua shot off in tears, Chris hastily chased after her.
Of Course, Aqua being Aqua, she was in a good mood again by the
time dinner was served.
Incidentally, it seems like the Eris Church gained a few more
followers that day.

261

eBook Compiler: I do not take ownership of the original writing
nor of the translation. I will remain anonymous.
Thank you for respecting my wishes,
Anon

262