Konosuba Side Stories

“Gurk!?… Sniffle…”
One of the ladies, dressed in a frilly, gothic lolita-looking outfit,
backed away in tears.
“… Really? I thought a mage would definitely be some old geezer,
so I went out and bought a mustache…”
“I-I’ve been catching pigeons at the park so that I could make
them appear from my handkerchief…!”
That isn’t magic, it’s just a trick.
ーJust as the spellcasters started raising a fuss.
“Say, what exactly is this ‘real mage’ you’re talking about? Can you
tell us what kind of magic you have in mind?”
A lady dressed in a bunny girl outfit standing next to the guy with
pigeons asked.
…Did I accidentally ask the spellcasters in this down to do
something impossible?
Like creating a house out of gingerbread?
No, no that’s just from a fairy tale. If I raise the bar even higher
than it is now, I might end up making all the candy store owners
and children in this town cry.
Mage, mage…

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The other thing that mages can do is…
“… Oh, yeah, fly! They can ride on a staff and fly through…
Judging from your faces, that seems impossible.”
I trailed off after seeing the sullen faces looking back at me.
“… Fly. Okay. Fly. If we can fly, you’ll acknowledge us as true
mages, right!?”
However, the bunny girl lady said that with determination.
The lady’s expression is firm, and I can tell there’s a strong will
behind it
Just as I started feeling a little remorseful for hurting their pride
like this.
“Sleep!”
As I heard that voice, I….
… Huh …

ーWhen I woke up, I was wrapped inside a thick futon and tied to
a broomstick.

202

I don’t know exactly what happened, but a clearly nervous and
fidgeting Megumin was standing in front of me, her staff at the
ready.
“Ka-Kazuma… Everyone’s agreed that theoretically, it should be
just within safe limits. I think it checks out, too. There’ll be people
waiting for you at the landing point, ready to catch you with wind
magic, so…!”
As the other mages nervously watched on, Megumin gulped and
started the chant for her Explosion…
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! You are all exceptional mages! Actually,
why are you making me fly!?”

↲

203

Untitled Darkness Short Story ↲

TL: Cannongerbil
Editor: Striker, Ulti

[Originally linked by Natsume from his blog on May 2nd, 2014,
this story (and several more!) was never officially published. It
might be that he dropped them, or that they didn’t make the cut
(or maybe he just wanted to have fun?). In any case, this takes
place around volume 4, so the status quo and character
relationships are a little different from the later volumes.
Thanks to Striker for digging these up.]
I found a letter in the box today.
I don’t know who sent it, but it was addressed to Darkness.
In this world, paper is a high-priced luxury good.
Receiving a letter written on such a luxury good is part of the
status of being a noble.
As I tried putting it up to the light and other such methods of
sussing out the contents, I brought it over to Darkness.
Come to think of it, does this world have a tradition of sending
new year’s greetings or some such?
I’ve never heard anyone talking about Christmas cards or greeting
cards or anything like that.

204

As such thoughts went through my mind, I opened the door to
Darkness’s room…
“Darkness, there’s a letter for you. There’s no return address, but
it’s probably from some noble…”
I immediately stiffened up upon opening the door.
Darkness, who stood bent over in front of the bed, also stiffened
up.
Darkness’s smooth, pale skin was clearly visible.
As she’s bent over, her long golden hair hung over her breasts,
getting in the way… No, gracefully hiding the important parts of
her breasts.
And her hands were placed on her waist, holding her pair of white
panties…
…Long story short, Darkness was clad only in a pair of white
panties and was about to remove them when I came in.
How could I have fallen for such a simple trap…
Darkness took a deep breath.
Yup, she’s definitely about to scream…!
“Mmmmph! Mmmph!?”
Darkness covered her chest with her hands and let out a muffled
voice.

205

At the spur of the moment, I leapt forward and covered
Darkness’s mouth.
Darkness gulped.
It seems like she couldn’t do anything right now.
Oh, right, if she removed her hands from her chest to do
something, her breasts would become clearly visible to me.
Still, her current state is quite impressive indeed.
She’s naked from the waist up, covering her breasts only with her
hands, and the only article of clothing from her waist down is a
pair of panties.
Perhaps realizing what kind of state she’s in, Darkness’s cheeks
flushed in bright red.
And not just her face, but her shoulders too.
Tears began gathering in her eyes, and she gave me a look like she
was about to say something…
No, that’s not it!
At least glare at me or get angry or something…!
What should I do? How did I get into this position!?
Thank you very much. Thank you… No, wait, this is not the time
for that!

206

I can do this, I can keep my head cool. I can get out of this lucky
pervert situation that happens so often in light novels and manga
ー Oh, thank you so very much!

Anyway, first is my hand.
I need to let go…!
I looked back towards the teary-eyed, yet oddly quiet Darkness
who was still hiding her chest in her hands.
S-She’s not going to scream, right?
No, wait, even if she does scream, it won’t be a big deal. It’s simply
an accident, so there’s nothing to feel guilty over.
Oh, right, the letter! I’ll give her the letter I brought!
Once I do that, we’ll be able to turn this entire incident into yet
another thing to laugh about…!
I handed over the letter that was supposed to be in my hand…

……The letter…?

“Hmm? A letter?”

207

Aqua’s voice came to us from the hallway.
Hearing that unexpected voice caused both me and Darkness to
jump up in shock.
The door is currently wide open.
And right in front of the door lay the letter that I dropped.
Aqua is going to pick up the letter and check the recipient.
And once she’s done that, she would naturally walk into this
room.
I hastily looked around the room
My gaze fell on the closet.
I’m still holding my hand over Darkness’s mouth.
I grabbed Darkness’s hand, who was trembling for some reason,
and pulled her towards the closet…!
“Mmmmph! Mmmph!?”
Darkness’s eyes widened and she made some muffled voices, but
she followed me into the closet without resistance.
She’s strangely cooperative…

…Ah!

208

I suddenly realized what I just did.
Because I pulled one of her hands away, she only had one hand
left to cover her chest, and she’s still still desperately trying to
keep her assets covered with just that hand…
Just what am I doing?
I’ll just let Aqua call me the worst or whatever.
I loosened my grip on Darkness’s mouth…
“Oh, Aqua, what are you doing? Why are you turning that letter
around in your hand?”
Hearing Megumin’s voice, I panicked and pulled Darkness into
the closet together with me.

Just what am I doing? Really, what was I thinking?

“A letter addressed to Darkness? …She’s not in her room. Did she
go out somewhere?”
Darkness, naked except for a pair of panties, is currently wedged
on top of me inside a cramped space.

209

“Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Kazuma-san around either.
Maybe they went off somewhere together.”
Aqua’s voice came from inside the room.
Dammit, stop talking already and get out of here!
Otherwise things will get bad. It’ll get seriously bad!
Just in front of my nose is a teary- eyed Darkness, my hand still
placed firmly over her mouth.
“Hey, don’t close your eyes. C-Come on, why do you give up so
easily in such situations? Hang in there! Wait, stop, don’t remove
that hand covering your chest! It’d be really bad. No I mean, it
looks really good but no I think it’d still be really bad…!”
Thank you very much! Thank you very much!

↲

210

Untitled Party Short Story ↲

TL: Cannongerbil
Editor: Striker, Ulti

[Originally linked by Natsume from his blog on May 2nd, 2014,
this story (and several more!) was never officially published. It
might be that he dropped them, or that they didn’t make the cut
(or maybe he just wanted to have fun?). In any case, this takes
place around volume 4, so the status quo and character
relationships are a little different from the later volumes.
Thanks to Striker for digging these up.]
ーAqua and the others were planning to surprise me as thanks for
how I’ve been taking care of them every day.
I happened to hear that from an adventurer I know.
And the day after that exchange, Aqua called me up for seemingly
no reason.
I wonder if this is what people feel when they find out that their
friends are planning a surprise birthday party for them.
Stepping out into the backyard with my heart pounding in my
chest, I found my companions playing a strange game.
“Out! Darkness, you’re out!”
“That’s impossible, I should’ve just barely made it safe!”

211

“From where I’m standing, you’re out. That means it’s Aqua’s turn
next.”

From the sounds of it, they seem to be playing baseball, but none
of them had any equipment.

Just then, Aqua noticed my presence and waved me over.

“You came at just the right time. Kazuma, you can be the referee.
We can’t get a proper judgement with only the three of us.”

…You want me to be the referee?

“I’m fine with that, but what are you guys playing? It’s not
baseball, right?”

I casually asked, but not just Aqua, Megumin and Darkness also
gave me looks of surprise.

“Come on, Kazuma, you can already tell by the number of people
present and this situation, right? You’ve been here for some time
already, so if you still don’t know I’d be too embarrassed to show
my face in public.”

“Cut it out, Aqua. Kazuma is obviously joking. There’s no way he
doesn’t know.”

“Yeah, Kazuma is always out gathering information, so there’s no
way that’s possible.”

Just what game are they playing?

More importantly, I have no idea what they are up to.

212

Is this pastime a common sight in this town, or rather, this world?
As I was racking my brains over how to answer, Aqua gathered the
other two girls and whispered into their ear.
“Hey, does he really not know? If that’s the case, I’d be really
disappointed in him.”
“No, that can’t be it. It’s Kazuma, you know? He’s not lacking in
common sense like us…”
“For him who keeps treating us like problem children to not know
about this…”
Despite the three of them whispering, I could clearly hear what
they are talking about.
Is not knowing about this game really that big of a deal?
Crap, I’m starting to get nervous.
“O-Of course I know. More importantly, are you really fine with
me being the referee? I mean, you know, I’ve never refereed
before, so I’d like to see someone else do it…”
I pretended like I knew all about it.
I’ll keep up this act to fool them for now, and go look into it later.
Just as I thought thatー

213

“What are you saying? You need a guy to be the referee. It’s easy
to referee, just take off your shoes and sit on your knees over
there.”
Aqua said that.
I already know that this world is strange, but what is with that
rule?
I took off my shoes as told and sat on my knees on the grass.
As I did so, Megumin and Darkness turned around and crouched.
I could see their shoulders shaking from behind.
Did they start playing the game already?
“Looks like we’re all ready. Alright, let’s go!”
Aqua shouted before running at Darkness, gaining momentum
before leaping over her.
Landing on her feet, she looked my way with a wide smile on her
face.
“How was that? How many points!?”
I’m supposed to grade that?
“Hey, no fair, Aqua! You did that before everyone was ready, so
it’s a no-go!”
“No, from what I can see, that was safe. Right, Kazuma?”

214

What’s with this out and safe and what not?
Even if you ask me, I have absolutely no idea!
As I struggled over forming a response, Aqua said.
“Oh, right, referee, we don’t have the juice for the final round.
Could you go buy some for us?”
“Eh, I’m supposed to buy them!?”
What an unreasonable game!
ーStill, this is a good chance for me.
I can ask the people in town about this game while I’m out buying
the juice.
As I started leaving towards town, Aqua and the others turned
their backs to me and crouched. I think I could see their shoulders
shaking from behind.
ーOh, right, I almost forgot.
I turned back and approached them, planning to ask if it needs to
be a specific kind of juice or if any fruit juice will do…
“This is really amazing! I can’t believe Kazuma didn’t get that we
were just teasing him and honestly went out to buy juice! After
everything he put us through, this is really the perfect comeback
for him! Hahahaha!”

215

“Did he not question why he needed to sit on his knees barefoot?
Heh… Heheh, no, I can’t hold back my laughter… ”
“I-I’ve never seen Kazuma this obedient! What’s with that whole
out and safe thing!? Anyway, let’s get all our laughter out before
Kazuma comes back…”
While Aqua and Darkness were still laughing away, Megumin
suddenly turned around while snickering and came face to face
with me.
ーSeeing Megumin suddenly stiffen up, Aqua and Darkness also
turned around to follow her gaze and froze up just like her.
“Alright, you three, let’s play a game I just thought up. When I say
start… I’ll chase. You three run. I’ll use Steal. You three strip. Now
then, take your places…!”
“Hey, why are you suddenly speaking in such stilted tones!?
Communication is important you know! You’re joking! You’re
joking, right!? Ah, wait, Megumin! Darkness too! Kazuma hasn’t
said start yet…!”
Start.

↲

216



217

WN Megumin Afterstory SS ↲
Short Story about Megumin whom I’m Thankful to

TL: Cannongerbil
Editor: Striker

[TL: This short story was originally written for the WN after its
conclusion. For the most part the WN ended in a relatively
similar position to the LN, though there are some slight
differences that I will point out if it becomes relevant. Anyway,
enjoy.]
Megumin and Yunyun were sitting cross-legged in our yard,
muttering something to each other.
They’ve been stuck in that position ever since lunch.
I observed them together with a single young girl.
“…Onii-chan, what is Onee-chan doing?”
“They said something about using auto-hypnosis to prevent
themselves from getting fat after lunch. I’m sure they’re muttering
‘please don’t let me be fat’ or something similar… Do you want
some oranges?”
Komekko was having lunch with us because her parents are out
for the moment, and I handed over a basket of oranges to her.
“I’ll eat it… I sometimes see her do that before going to bed too.”
“Ah, during those times she’s saying ‘may I grow bigger in my
sleep’. You know, once you get to that age, you don’t grow much

218

anymore. She’s doing that to create another persona within
herself so she has someone to comfort her…You want some juice?”
“I’ll take it… So Onee-chan and Yunyun wants to grow bigger
without getting fat──”
Megumin and Yunyun suddenly stood up and rushed over to us.
“Stop filling my sister’s head with weird ideas! What will you do if
she actually believes it!?”
“I-I’m not fat! And it’s just a little bit, but I’m still getting taller!”

Apparently, they were practicing their magic incantations.
“Increasing the speed (munch) of your chants is basic practice
(chew) for any spellcaster.”
“Onee-chan! My orange! My orange~!!”
Megumin said as she sntached up the basket of oranges that
Komekko was holding and started munching into one.
“Gulp… Komekko, you shouldn’t eat too many oranges. Otherwise
you won’t be able to eat dinner.”
“Onee-chan, you tyrant! I received them! Those are mine!”
As Komekko started grasping at Megumin’s sleeves, she passed
the basket of oranges over to Yunyun.”

219

“Eh? Eh!?”
Yunyun was tall enough that even if Komekko stood on her
tiptoes, she wasn’t able to reach the basket that Yunyun held in
her grasp.
After struggling for a moment, Komekko shouted,
“Yunyun stole my oranges! Yunyun is a thief!”
“Ah, n-no, that’s not it! Komekko-chan, I didn’t steal…! Megumin,
what should I do!? What should I do!?”
“Please keep those oranges to yourself for my sister’s sake. If you
give it to her, she’ll continue eating endlessly until dinner. And
then when it comes time for dinner, she’ll take one look at the
spread we have prepared and start crying because she’s too full to
eat. As my friend, please don’t hand it over to her.”
“!?”
After being entrusted with this unreasonable request, Yunyun,
seemingly on the verge of tears, raised the basket up high while
trying to convince Komekko at the same time.
Megumin took a seat next to me while Yunyun and Komekko
argued in the background.
“Are you done practicing your incantations?”
“I can’t believe you have the guts to say that after interrupting our
training by filling my sister’s head with nonsense. Anyway, I think

220

I’ll take the rest of the day off. The weather is great too, so it’d be
nice to take an afternoon nap today.”
Saying that, Megumin stretched, closed her eyes, and cuddled up
next to me.
“…You want some oranges?”
“…Please give me a slice.”
As I peeled the orange to give to Megumin, Komekko’s attention
drifted my way and she quickly rushed over.
“Please give me one, too”
“You can have them all.”
“Kazuma!? Why are you so sweet towards my sister!?”
Megumin shot up with a bang, but the orange was already in
Komekko’s hands.
Komekko, happily chewing on the orange slices, sat on my other
side,
“I heard that Onii-chan knows a lot of things. Can you teach me a
spell to defeat Yunyun?”
“K-Komekko-chan!?”
Yunyun screamed with tears in her eyes, but before she could say
anything more, Megumin interjected,

221

“I’ll just say this in advance, don’t even think about teaching her
magic. Not even Beginner Magic. She’s quite talented, and already
has an adventurer’s card. My parents are holding onto it for now,
but there’s no telling when she’ll find it, and if you teach her any
spells, she might suddenly find herself being able to use even
Intermediate Magic… Do you get it? No matter how much you
dote on her, don’t teach her how to use magic.”

“It’s fine, I’m not an idiot. I know the dangers of teaching a child
how to use magic.”

Just as I told Megumin not to worry with a smile, Komekko
tugged on my sleeve and looked at me like she was about to cry.

“…Magic…”

“Do you want to learn Beginner Magic? Or perhaps Intermediate?
Sorry, but Onii-chan still hasn’t learnt Advanced Magic yet. I’ll
make sure to learn it by the next time I see you. Ah, right, how
about Teleport──”

“Kazuma! You can’t! You really can’t!”

With her sister’s eyes shining like that, I had no choice but to
comply.

In that case…

Yeah, that’ll work.

“Alright, how about this? Onii-chan will teach you a spell from a
famous great magician from my home country.”

222

“Really!?”
“Kazuma! Y-You can’t!”
Komekko looked at me with shining eyes of her own, while her
sister grabbed me by my shoulders and aggressively shook me.
I signaled to Megumin that it was fine before standing up and
slowly chanting.
“Darkness beyond twilight…Crimson beyond blood that flows…
Buried in the flow of time… In thy great name…”
[TL: This is the Dragon Slave chant that Lina uses in Slayers. It
directly inspired several of Megumin’s own chants in the anime]
“!?” x3
All three Crimson Demons seemed totally entranced by that
famous incantation that I began chanting.
“Kazuma, what is that spell? I’ve never encountered that before!”
“Onii-chan! One more time! One more time!”
Megumin and Komekko immediately expressed interest, and even
Yunyun perked up her ears and approached.
It seems like it was really effective.

223

“That was a spell that was the speciality of a famous female mage
from my country. It’s a deadly spell that could create massive
explosions and slay dragons in a single blow.”
After I taught it to Komekko, she happily recited it to herself
numerous times.
“Oh? A spell that creates explosions and slays dragons, huh… That
sounds quite similar to me, doesn’t it?”
“Not at all. She’s quite skilled and is famous all over the world. If
you say you’re similar, then you’d be the knockoff.”
“Knockoff!? K-K-Knockoff!?”
Megumin stood stock still in shock, and Komekko stuck her hand
towards her and chanted the incantation I just taught her.
As Yunyun wandered around at a loss, Megumin’s eyes began
glowing again.
“Very well! I’ll show you my true skills right now! We’re heading
out of town!”
“Darkness beyond twilight…Crimson beyond blood that flows…”

The plains not too far from town is home to a large variety of
medium-sized herbivorous monsters.
In this season where Giant Frogs are a rare sight, it’s common for
adventurers to come out here to raise their levels.

224

Today is no different. Several familiar faces were out on the plains
chasing after the monsters which resembled slightly smaller cows
or goats.

Seeing that, Komekko started excitedly squealing,

“Onee-chan! Onee-chan! There’s a lot of dinner walking around!”

“Komekko, calm down. We’ll be having much better food for
dinner tonight, so I’ll be turning them into my experience points
today.”

“What a waste! What a waste!”

Turning her gaze away from Komekko, Megumin gave Yunyun the
signal.

“…? What’s wrong, Megumin? Why are you winking your eyes like
that? Did something get in them?”

“No, that’s not it! I told you earlier to cast your spells as the
opening act, didn’t I?”

“O-Opening act!?”

Yunyun, still holding the basket of oranges, seemed somewhat
teary-eyed after being called the opening act.

I took the basket off her, and she despondently turned to face the
monsters on the plains.

Seeing her in that state, Megumin shouted towards her,

225

“Yunyun, after this is over, we’ll have dinner together back at the
mansion! So please show me something that will blow even me
away!”
“!? D-Dinner!? R-Really? Is that really okay? I mean, inviting me
to have dinner with you…”
“I don’t mind! Tonight’s menu is really extravagant! And we
prepared plenty of ingredients too, so look forward to it!”
“I don’t really care about the menu, but… Dinner… Having dinner
at a friend’s house…”
After muttering to herself, Yunyun flipped her cloak in a dramatic
fashion, before taking out her wand and pointing it in the
direction of a nearby monster.
Those creatures are considered monsters because of their
voracious appetites that causes them to eat endlessly, uprooting
crops and damaging the fields in their search for more food.
Even now, it’s still munching on grass as it looked at Yunyun with
it’s dull eyes.
“…Hey, Megumin, why don’t we do this in a place with more
ferocious monsters?”
“No, we will not do that. Seriously, you’re too soft-hearted! It
might look cute, but it’s still a formidable enemy of humanity!
Now, Kazuma, and Komekko, stop chanting that mysterious
incantation and take a good look! Bear witness to my power and
behold the might of the strongest woman in the world!”

226

“Strongest!? Onee-chan, are you the world’s strongest!?”
“Indeed! My name is Megumin! The strongest Archmage in the
world, and wielder of Explosion! Now, Komekko, take a good
look!”
Megumin raised her staff and started chanting.
Seeing that, Komekko squatted and retrieved something from her
pocket.
I thought it was a snack at first, but on closer inspection it actually
turned out to be a piece of chalk.
Instead of looking at her sister, Komekko instead focused on
writing something on the ground.
Was she writing down her chant in order to learn the spell?
Megumin is the one who told me not to teach her magic, but she’s
doing it herself.
Well, it’s not like Komekko would be able to cast Explosion
anytime soon…
“Behold, my ultimate spell! Explosion!”
The spell that Megumin released shot right into the middle of a
pack of monsters and exploded into a ball of light.

227

When the smoke cleared and the shockwave passed, the only
thing that was left of them was a giant crater blasted into the
ground.
Even I, who has gained quite a discerning eye when it comes to
judging Explosion magic, could find no fault with her spell today.
Megumin let out a satisfied snort before turning around with a
smug smile on her face.
“Now, I’m sure you can tell.. Who is… The knockoff…”
Megumin’s smile froze upon her face, and her proud boasting
trailed off into nothingness.
Yunyun too was gazing in my direction with a weary look on her
face.
“…Vanir-san, what are you doing here?”
I followed their gaze, and saw Vanir standing in the middle of a
crudely drawn magic circle.
“…That’s what Moi wants to know… Little girl, did you summon
me again!? Moi has told you many times not to casually call upon
me while Moi is working…!”
…I don’t think it’s possible, but Komekko didn’t summon him, did
she?
Vanir, still wearing his store apron, gave Komekko a stern look as
he lectured her.

228

“This orange is my sacrifice.”
Komekko retrieved an orange that she seemed to have hidden
away and reluctantly handed it over to Vanir.
“As my familiar, I order you, Vanir. Onee-chan seems to be the
strongest, so please use that sacrifice to take care of her. Once you
do so, your master, I, shall be the strongest!”
“Komekko, let’s talk this out! Would you like some oranges!?”

↲

229

230

WN Darkness Afterstory SS ↲
Goddess’s Short Story

TL: Cannongerbil
Editor: Striker, Xenthur

[TL: This short story was originally written for the WN after its
conclusion. For the most part the WN ended in a relatively
similar position to the LN, though there are some slight
differences that I will point out if it becomes relevant. Anyway,
enjoy.]
“Do you honestly think you can take me on? Don’t you realize that
your chances of winning are next to zero? I thought you were just
naive because you’re a sheltered noble lady, but maybe you’re just
plainly an idiot.”
“You are the first person who’d purposefully pick a fight with the
famed Dustiness house. I’m not especially fond of using my family
name, but in the name of house Dustiness, I shall strike you
down.”
Seeing her standing barefoot in the yard, with her long skirt torn
to allow easier movement, and her sleeves rolled up to her
shoulders, it’s hard to see her as a noble lady.
Darkness, the noble scion of house Dustiness, one of the most
esteemed noble families in this world, spouted a stream of
extremely unladylike words.
Similarly standing barefoot in the yard, I cricked my neck while
giving Darkness a provocative smirk.

231

“Who do you think is going to win, Aqua? I’m betting on Kazuma.”
“I’m placing my bets on Darkness. I doubt weak little Kazuma
would be able to stand up to an enraged Darkness. If you want, I
can bet tonight’s dinner on it.”
Sitting some distance away, the two of them chewed on some
snacks while watching Darkness and I, as if watching some kind of
wrestling match.
“Come to think of it, the only time we fought was back at the
sparring grounds at my parent’s house… I lost to you handily back
then, but don’t think it’ll go the same way this time!”
“Do you have problems learning? After losing once, you should
seek to understand why you lost and come up with a
countermeasure before trying again.”
Darkness and I are both bare handed.
Nevermind my sword, I don’t even have the wire I used for Bind
with me, but still, I have absolutely no intention of losing.
After all, I have that skill that guarantees me a victory in any one
on one fight.
“So, Aqua, do you want to bet tonight’s dinner? I’m in charge of
preparing dinner today. Kazuma gives me quite a bit of money for
food, but I would like to save up a bit more. If Darkness loses,
you’ll be having salted rice for dinner tonight.”

232

“Oh? Very well. In return, if Kazuma loses, you’ll prepare some
high quality red wine for tonight. Oh, and some high quality snow
crabs, too.”
Off to the side, the spectators started placing bets on us.
Darkness lowered her center of gravity and braced herself.
“Here I come…!”

“Darkness, you don’t really seem much like a noble lady, do you?”
Aqua suddenly said after coming back from taking an explosive
walk with Megumin.
It was so completely out of the blue that I really wanted to ask her
what she was thinking.
Hearing that, Darkness, lying down on the sofa directly opposite
me, said,
“…Where did that come from, Aqua? Well, the Dustiness family
has always been fairly well liked by commoners, so I suppose in
that sense, I’m not very much like a typical noble lady.”
Saying that, she elegantly lifted a cup of tea from the table and
carefully tipped it into her mouth…
“I heard it from someone when I was walking back with Megumin.
The noble lady at your house is not only ignorant of the world, but

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she’s also short-tempered and crass and doesn’t feel like a noble
lady at all.”
“Pfft!”
“Ahh! What are you doing, you idiot!? You got tea in my
eyes! …Ah, the 1/100 scale Mobile Fortress Destroyer model I was
working on…!”
Darkness’s spit take covered me and the new product I had been
steadily working on with my Blacksmithing skill since this
morning in hot tea.
“…Cough, cough… Which idiot said such a thing! I’m not
particularly naive, and I’m not short-tempered or crass either!
Who the hell said that! I’m going to kill him!”
You are already being pretty crass and short tempered, though.
“Kazuma-san’s friend. He’s kinda thuggish and mostly hangs out
by the guild, drinking all day. I think his name was Dust or
something?”
“So it’s him! I’ll go find him and smack the lights out of him!”
The short-tempered noble lady shouted and ran out of the
mansion while still wearing her usual clothes.
“Will she be okay? That delinquent is actually surprisingly skilled.
He might end up taking revenge.”
I worriedly said, and Megumin took a seat next to me, pouring
herself a fresh cup of tea.

234

“She’ll be fine. Darkness’s level has risen to the point where none
of the adventurers here can really handle her. Even without her
armour, with her high level and her focus on defensive skills, I
don’t think there’s anyone in town who can seriously harm her.”
Saying that, Megumin took a sip from her cup with a satisfied
smile.

“Pant… Pant… Damn, he sure made me work hard. As expected of
a man who once visited my home to give a lesson on sword skills,
he has some good moves. But I managed to catch him, pin him to
the ground, and pull off his pants right in the middle of the
street! …Pant… Pant…”
A sweat-drenched Darkness came back with a smile on her face as
she said such outrageous things.
I kinda feel sorry for Dust. He just had to say those things…
“That thug-like person is pretty strong. I’m surprised you’re able
to come back without a single wound.”
Aqua said in amazement as she touched Darkness’s body all over,
seemingly intending to cast some healing spells on her.
“Of course. After taking on the Demon King, there’s no way I
would be waylaid by a common thug like him. Since nothing can
hurt me, all I need to do is hunt them down and wrench them into
submission with my superior strength. Heh, I doubt even Kazuma
can defeat me as I am now.”

235

Darkness said with a bright smile on her face, seemingly in high
spirits from her victory earlier.
Hearing those words, I put down the parts I was working on on
the table.
…This naive and ignorant noble lady seems to have let the fact
that she actually won against someone get to her head.
“Seriously, this is why sheltered noble ladies are so troublesome.
Don’t think I’m on the same level as a third-rate delinquent like
Dust. I’m an expert in fighting others, you know. You won’t even
last a minute against me. This is why I can’t leave dinner in your
hands.”
“T-That’s nonsense! I’ve already learned the right price of
everyday items, and I know that fish don’t swim about already
filleted! Even the other day, I successfully bought the salt and
pepper you asked me to get!”
“When people normally ask you to buy salt and pepper, normal
people would just get a couple bottles or a sack of them at worst!
Not to get an entire cartload from a wholesaler!”
Darkness awkwardly averted her gaze at my words.
“…T-That was eventually taken back to the mansion because my
father needed it, so isn’t it fine──”

“It isn’t fine at all! Your father dotes too much on you! What does
he mean by ‘dishes prepared with salt bought by my daughter

236

really taste different’!? It’s just salt! Stop spoiling your stupid
daughter!”
“D-Don’t call me a stupid girl! I simply don’t have much
knowledge on the outside world! Father is just happy to eat
homemade food seasoned with the salt I bought for him! He’s not
smitten with me or anything… Or anything… Uuugh… “
Darkness crouched down, covering her face in embarrassment.
After having won the verbal battle, I was satisfied and returned to
working on my Destroyer model…
“…So, who would win in a fight? Darkness or Kazuma?”
…Aqua, seated on the sofa and casually munching on some
snacks, said such unnecessary things.

“That idiot always loves to say unnecessary things…!”
I muttered after walking to the yard and squared off against
Darkness.
Neither Darkness or I had any weapons or armour.
The grass felt comfortable, so I took off my shoes and am
currently barefoot.
Darkness was similarly barefoot, and tossed a wooden sword at
me.

237

Then, with a surprisingly gentle expression on her face, she said,

“Come to think of it, this might be the first time we’ve seriously
fought each other. Even though we’ve fought besides each other
multiple times, we’ve never crossed blades before. Perhaps we
could train like this from time to time──”

“No way, it sounds like a chore. There’s no need for me to work
hard to raise my level. Even if I ever run low on skill points, all I
need to do is pay Vanir and Wiz to lower my level and gain more
skill points. The only skill I need to develop is my one handed
sword wielding, after all. In the first place, if you are going to say
that, you should pick up a greatsword wielding skill first. Leaving
me aside, you’re not exactly growing, are you?”

“…………”

We stared at each other in silence for a while.

Eventually, Darkness’s face turned red, her shoulders started
shaking, and tears welled up in her eyes.

“…I’m going to kill you!”

As she shouted that, she slashed at me with her wooden sword.

This is strange.
This is very strange.

238

She has the spirit, but either because she’s targeting the wrong
spot, or misjudged the distance, or only attacking in simple
straight forward cuts, I didn’t have any issues avoiding her
attacks, but even so…

“What’s wrong, Kazuma? Your breathing is getting ragged!”

Darkness taunted with a smile through a sweat drenched face.

I’ve hit Darkness multiple times since the start of the match, but
my skill hasn’t activated at all.

This battle should’ve concluded a long time ago with my Hand of
the Undying King skill!

[TL: Hand of the Undying King is a skill that Kazuma learns
from Wiz in the WN along with Drain Touch. It allows him to
inflict random status effects on contact. Wiz makes use of it in
Volume 4 against the Rookie killer and again in volume 13 to
drain Kazuma’s level. In the LN, Kazuma didn’t learn this skill
because Natsume judged it to be too overpowered in his hands.]

“Dammit, what is going on!? Did my luck decrease?”

It seems like I am not the only one who’s getting rattled upon
seeing Darkness’s surprisingly good performance.

“Kazuma, what are you doing!? Get a hold of yourself! At this rate,
my allowance will all be turned into Aqua’s drinks!”

Megumin screamed in frustration from the sidelines.

Even if you tell me that!

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“Go for it, Darkness! With our powers, we can really make that
man suffer today! If you make him cry and beg for mercy, I’ll give
you a crab leg later tonight!”
Dammit, shut up out there!
I’m trying to concentrate, so just shut up…
“Hey, Aqua just said ‘our powers’ earlier. You didn’t have her cast
any buffs on you, did you!?”
“Hah, it took you long enough to notice! I had Aqua cast a buff on
me to prevent status effects! Your trump card won’t work on me!”
Darkness gave me a smirk before tossing away her sword and
charging at me.
This isn’t good, in a pure contest of strength I have no chance of
winning!
“Go for it, Darkness! Grab him and finish him off! There’s no way
that beansprout of a man would be able to match you in terms of
strength!”
Dammit, what does she mean by finishing me off!? I’ll go finish
her off later!
Darkness charged at me with both her hands spread wide apart.
I threw away my sword too and spread my arms out like I was
preparing to receive Darkness’s charge.

240

“You intend to pit your strength against mine? Seems like I’m
really being looked down upon!”
Darkness shouted as our hands met.
I shouted in response,
“Power!”
[TL: Kazuma also gained the ability to cast buffs in the WN,
which he didn’t in the LN.]
That’s a buff spell that temporarily increases my strength.
But even after hearing that, Darkness’s confident smile didn’t
waver at all.
“Even with your buffs, the difference between us is-aaaaaaah!?”
Darkness’s words turned into a high pitched scream.
I grabbed a hold of Darkness’s hands as she hastily tried to tear
them away.
“What happened to that confidence of yours? Go on, say
something! Wahaha! I can’t believe you actually tried to pit your
strength against mine even after I received a buff! You really let
your guard down. You should know that there’s no way I’ll just go
head to head with-aaaaaaaaaah!”
An unimaginably strong force wrapped itself around my hands,
causing me to scream out in pain.

241

Darkness smirked at me.
“H-Hehehe… D-Drain Touch, huh…! I completely forgot about
that skill, but I’ll crush your arms before you are able to drain my
stamina dry!”
“Wahahah, if you think you can do that then go right
aheaaaaaaaa! Ow! Ow, ow, ow! It’s breaking! It’s going to break!”
I’m draining her stamina with Drain Touch, and she’s trying to
crush me with her strength.
Neither of us are planning to give in, and neither of us can
anyway.
Darkness is pushing me to the edge with her strength, but even so
I can see her expression waver.
I’ve already drained quite a bit of her stamina, but there’s no
telling how much longer she will be able to hang in there.
“Aaaaah! Kazuma! You have to put some distance between the
two of you, then attack with magic from afar!”
“It’s unfair for spectators to be giving advice, Megumin! Ahahaha,
looks like I’ll be having crab stew tonight! I’ll drink up the entire
contents of your pitiful wallet!”
“It’s even more unfair for you to buff her beforehand! The God of
Bets will punish you!”
Such pitiful cries from the audience drifted towards me.

242

…

Bet…

“H-Hey, Darkness, how about we make a bet too!? Whoever wins
can make the loser do one thing he says…!”

Gritting my teeth, I was just barely able to force those words out.

“A-A bet…!? H-Heheh, you’re just trying to buy some time by
talking! Fine, I’ll take that bet. If I win, I’m going to make you get
on your knees and beg for forgiveness!”

She fell for it.

“W-We have a deal! D-Don’t go back on your word!”

“Yeah, I’m a woman of my word… But really, you aren’t going to
last much longer! Hurry up and surrender! Otherwise you might
really end up with broken bones…!”

My back was pressed against a large rock in the garden by
Darkness’s strength.

“Really! It’s a promise! If I win, I won’t stop even if you cry and
apologize!”

I sneered at Darkness despite my current disadvantaged position.

Darkness’s strength grew slightly weaker, perhaps because that
caught her attention.

“…? What exactly do you plan on making me do if you win?”

243

“It’s not really something I can say…! Fuhahaha, you promised!
Now, let’s get this on the road! I can’t wait to see you begging for
forgiveness after I win…! I’m going to hear you say ‘Please forgive
me! Please let me off! Anything but that!'”
At my words, Darkness shivered in shock.
And the strength she was using to push me down weakened.
“Kuh…! J-Just what exactly are you planning…? Tell me!”
“Eheheheh, it’s definitely something far beyond anything you’re
imagining right now!”
“Wha…! S-Stop…! Kuh…! E-Even if I want to resist, my strength is
getting sucked away… A-At this rate…!”
The only thing that would be affected by Drain Touch is stamina,
though.
Her strength slowly ebbing, Darkness suddenly fell down onto one
knee.
“Pant… Pant…! W-What do you intend to have me do…!? Pant…
Pant…! I’m going to lose at this rate…! A-At the very least, give me
time to wipe my sweat off…!”
Darkness’s breath started getting heavier, her face blushed red,
and a single drop of sweat flowed down her neck to her
collarbone.

244

“There’s no way I’ll wait that long. If I win, I’m going to make
good use of you all the way until morning!”
“Aaah! T-That’s…! I might have lost the match, but no matter how
much humiliation I am put through, my soul wouldn’t bow to you!
Now, I’ve lost, so hurry up and bring it on! Hurry up! Come on,
hurry up!”
Letting go of my hands, she sat upright on the grass and looked up
at me with an expectant gaze.
“Yes! Thanks to that I’ve saved money on food! Aqua, that was
really low for you. Thanks to that, I’ll be sure to give you plenty of
pickled radish too!”
“Waaaaah, why!? I was sure that Darkness was going to win!”
As the spectators started making a fuss, I looked down at
Darkness and gave her an order.
“Go back to your family house and tell your father ‘Daddy, I love
you!’ repeatedly until dawn!”
“P-Please forgive me! Please let me off! A-Anything but that!’

↲

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246

WN Aqua Afterstory SS ↲
Goddess’s Short Story

TL: Cannongerbil
Editor: Strike

[TL: This short story was originally written for the WN after its
conclusion. For the most part the WN ended in a relatively
similar position to the LN, though there are some slight
differences that I will point out if it becomes relevant. Anyway,
enjoy.]

“I’m thinking of doing some missionary work.”
“……” x4
Aqua suddenly said that, and everyone present fell into stunned
silence, unsure as to how to react.
And then…
“How long are you saying in town, Chris? You’re free to room with
us for as long as you need.”
“…Yeah, we left the room you were staying at as it was. We can
drink together late into the night again.”
“Oh, thanks. Actually, it’s gotten a lot warmer out, so I was
planning on renting a place in the stables.”
“We have a room free, so it’d be a waste not to use it. Shall we
have dinner together?”

247

[TL: In the WN, Chris briefly stayed with the party during the
winter.]

Everyone greeted Chris who came to visit us warmly.

“Hey, listen to me! I’m talking about something very important
here! Here, everyone who doesn’t have a religion, please fill this
out!”

Saying that, Aqua placed a stack of papers on the table.

Those were all Axis Cult recruitment forms.

I snatched one of them, crumpled it into a ball, and took aim at
the trash bin…

“Snipe!”

“Aaah!”

The Snipe skill doesn’t apply to thrown objects, but I shouted it
just for the feel and the crumpled ball flew beautifully into the bin.

“What are you doing you shitty NEET!? You’ll get divine
punishment!”

Aqua ran over to the bin and retrieved the crumpled up
recruitment form.

“What made you talk about missionary work in the first place?
You don’t normally act like a Priest, so what came over you?”

“Aah! You too, Megumin!?”

248

Megumin folded one of the recruitment forms into a paper
airplane and sent it flying.
As Aqua chased after it, Darkness folded her arms and muttered.
“Mmm… I’m a Crusader who offered my sword to Eris-sama, so…”
“What? Even though you’re just a phony Crusader! Oh fine, I’ll go
get recruits by myself!”
“P-Phony Crusader!?”
As Aqua prepared to storm off in a huff, Chris grabbed the stack of
recruitment forms and stood up,
“Aqua-san, don’t forget this! And… I’m worried about you, so let
me tag along, too.”
At those words, Aqua whipped around with a surprised look on
her face.
“…C-Chris…! W-Waaaaah! I can’t believe you are my only ally in
this house! Waaaaah!”
“Hey, Chris, don’t spoil that idiot too much. She’ll definitely let it
get to her head and head off to do something stupid again.
Chris, taken aback, stroked Aqua’s hair as she tearfully clung onto
her.
Seeing the two of them, Megumin whispered to me.

249