Konosuba Side Stories

With that, he gave me a deep bow.

“–Well, that’s the story. Anyway, I already ate dinner, so you guys
can eat on your own today.”
After returning home, I relayed the story of what happened to the
rest of the party.
Darkness stopped eating and stared dumbly at me.
“Y-You really are… Is this really okay?”
“What? I didn’t tell a single lie. If you have any comments to make
about what I just said, then feel free to lay it out right here.”
I said while petting Chomusuke who decided to take a nap on my
leg.
“Well, being able to get the other party’s understanding is fine,
isn’t it? We’ve gotten into a lot of trouble lately, so I don’t feel like
stirring anything up for a while.”
“Yeah, just as Megumi…n said, I would like some time to laze
about too.”
“Aqua, what’s with that weird pause while you were saying my
name just now? And I feel like the way you say it is strange too…”
“It’s nothing. Anyway, Megumi…n, can you pass me the soy
sauce?”

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“You have some guts to make fun of my name! I’m going to make
you cry tonight!”
“Hey, what gives, Megumi!? Do you really think a mage like you
can match me for strength!? Until you apologize for your baseless
accusations earlier, I’ll…!”
With that, Megumi and Aqua started tussling with each other.
“B-Both of you, cut it out. We are still in the middle of dinner.
This is too…”
Larkness… No, wait, Darkness worriedly looked at the two of
them.
“Still, between Larkness and Darkness, if I have to say which one
of them is a more fitting name for a Crusader, I’ll have to say
Larkness.”
“Wha-!?”
Lalatina, who, just like Megumin, had been teased about her
name many times before, had a conflicted look on her face before
she hurried with her meal.
“Waaaaaah! M-Megumin! I get it! I’ll apologize, so please stop!
Please stop!”
“You say that, but you’ll call me by that weird name the moment I
let go, right!? I’m not letting go until you are in tears!”
While the cries of Aqua sounded besides me.

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I silently thanked my lucky stars that I was able to avoid another
troublesome incident.

↲

153

Part 3 ↲

“Satou Kazuma! Where are you! Come out here right now! My fist
has some words it’d love to say to your face!”
The next day.
I was awoken by a shout coming from the door.
“Hey, Kazuma, our gates are really noisy this morning! Did you
cause some trouble again? I’ll go with you to apologize, so hurry
up and apologize to them!”
Aqua suddenly barged into my room and said.
“Why does it have to be me!? You are the one who usually causes
trouble… Hold on?”
I got up from my bed, perked up my ears and listened.
“Satou Kazuma! You scoundrel, get out here! What bloody
Tanaka, I’ll fucking kill you!”
That voice sounds really familiar.
“Ah, what should we do? Are they the knockoffs that you
mentioned yesterday?”
Did they not believe my words and asked other people about me?
Well, in any case, it’d be troublesome to leave them banging on
the door.

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“Hey, Aqua, what are Darkness and Megumin doing?”
“Those two are currently struggling on the porch. To be more
accurate, Darkness is holding Megumin back from charging right
out the door.”
Still wearing my pajamas, I went downstairs.
Darkness, let go of me! The root cause of why Aqua made fun of
me yesterday is standing right outside!”
“Your names might be quite similar, but she hasn’t actually done
anything to you! If you intend on charging out to pick a fight, I
can’t just stand idly by!”
Just like Aqua said, Darkness is currently clinging onto Megumin.
“Ah, Kazuma! The people you were talking about yesterday are
right outside! They’ve been banging on the door for some time
now, and they even called us knockoffs…!”
“Now, now, calm down, Megumin. I’ll take care of them in a snap
with my special move.”
I was alone yesterday, so I didn’t push for a confrontation, but
now I am at my home along with my companions.
I boldly opened the door and regarded Kozuma.
“I’m going to call the cops. The crimes are destruction of private
property and use of threats. The prosecutor here is quite
fearsome, so you best prepare yourself.”

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Hearing that, Kozuma, who seemed to be about to give me a
punch, trembled and halted in place.
“B-Bastard… You lied to us, got us to treat you to a meal, and now
you threaten to run to the cops the moment trouble rears its head!
You are a worse bastard than the rumours said!”
Kozuma yelled, red in the face. His companions also had similar
expressions as the looked at me.
“I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I’ve never uttered a single
falsehood. Besides, it was your idea to treat me to a meal so you
can ask me more about Kazuma.”
Megumi, who had been frowning all this while, said.
“Y-You scoundrel! You still have the guts to say that! You told us,
‘That Swordmaster had more than 30 levels over him, and had a
magic sword on top of that. It’d only be natural for most people to
back down and agree to hand his companions over, but Kazuma is
different. Even though he was a low leveled newbie, even though
he only had a cheap short sword, even though he had the weakest
class, he wouldn’t betray his companions!’ But when I asked about
him, it turns out that Swordmaster only challenged you because
he wanted to free someone you caged up! And then you stole his
sword and sold it…!”
I quickly shot back.
“Hah!? What’s wrong with that!? After receiving a quest to purify
the lake, we decided to use the most efficient and safest method of
putting her in a protective cage while she got to work! What’s

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wrong with that!? And he is the one who caused trouble for me!
What should I have done!? Fought him head on!? Are you telling
me that a newbie with only shabby equipment should fight a man
thirty levels above him clad in resplendent armour and a magic
sword straight up!?”

“B-But… but…”

She probably never expected me to shoot back with such ferocity.
Her face turned pale and she seemed at a loss for words.

“And you were so moved by my tale yesterday! I’ll say it again,
none of what I told you yesterday was a lie! Everyone has their
own values and views on what constitutes acceptable tactics,
which is why others might view that tale differently. But you! You
were so moved by that tale yesterday, and now you come to my
house to cause a ruckus and call me a liar!”

“T-That’s… N-No, that’s not it. I was really moved by your tale
yesterday, but after calming down and sleeping on it, I thought
that just hearing one side might not reveal the true story… Plus,
every single one of your tales just made you look good…”

I advanced as Megumi stepped back, and unleashed my instant
kill line.

“In other words, you still doubt my words even after crying so
much! Certainly, there might be some exaggerated elements, but
that’s a different story! I clearly agreed to go along out of the
goodness of my heart, but to think that you’d doubt me so! Ah, I’m
wounded!”

“A-Ah!? T-That’s not my intention…”

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I adopted an expression on the verge of tears and looked at
Megumi.
“Apologize! Apologize for suspecting me! It’s only natural that
everyone would have their own version of events, so hearing
different stories is just to be expected!”
“Yeah, apologize! Apologize for suspecting Kazuma! Thought it
felt like Kazuma is in the wrong this time, but it’s really not that
clear now. But anyway, apologize.”
“While you are at it, apologize for your name too! Thanks to you, I
went through a lot yesterday!”
“S-Sorry…”
For some reason, Aqua and Megumin joined in with lecturing her.
Just as Megumi is about to give in and apologize…
“Wait a minute! Do you really think you can fool us so easily!?
And don’t apologize, Megumi! I’ve heard all about it! Your entire
party is a defective one that does nothing but cause trouble.”
After being snapped out of her spiel by Kozuma, Megumi glared at
me.
Dammit, and here I thought I’d be able to wrap things up quickly.
Guess it won’t be so easy.
“Just what is your problem? I might have exaggerated a few things
yesterday, but none of what I said is a lie. I am a proper,

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upstanding adventurer, Satou Kazuma. My lifestyle isn’t one that
causes trouble for others, and I have no reason to lectured by you.
If you’re done with what you want to say, then leave.”
I plainly said to Kozuma, who gritted his teeth before replying.
“You scoundrel, the reason we are here in the first place is because
your reputation is causing trouble for us!”
…Come to think of it, I recall them saying something similar when
we first met.
Darkness gave Kozuma a reassuring smile and said.
“Would you mind telling me exactly what happened? My name is
Darkness. My class is a Crusader and I am a faithful worshiper of
Eris. Thus, it’s my duty to deal with disputes. If you don’t mind,
you can lay your problems to me.”
“Ah, so you are Larkness’s knockoff!”
“K-Knockoff?!”
Darkness stepped back in shock.
“You are even introducing yourself in the same way! Isn’t it
obvious…”
“Even the colour of your eyes and hair are the same! But, I’m
surprised that you can introduce yourself as a Crusader when you
have a name like Darkness that’s more fitting for a Dark Knight.”

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With Kozuma’s mockery, Darkness seemed to shrink back and
sulk.
“Darkness, get a hold of yourself! Don’t worry about it, I thought
that Darkness as a name sounded a little dark when I first heard
it, but it’s quite cool sounding once you get used to it! And you
real name is really cute too, so there’s no reason to be depressed,
Darkness.”
“In other words, my name sounds like the name you’d give to a
knockoff… Dark knight… Darkness… Haha, Megumin, what do
you think of Darkness as a name?”
“Of course it sounds cool… Why are you suddenly crying!?”
This isn’t good. With just a name, our group has been thrown into
chaos.
Just then.
“Seriously… challenging us just because our names sound a little
similar. What a childish act. As a Crimson Demon, I would be glad
to answer any challenge, but… the power of my spell is strong
enough that even if I hold back, I won’t be able to guarantee your
survival. That’s why…”
Megumin’s eyes glowed a bright red as she stood in front of
Darkness like she was shielding her.
She’s joking about holding back and what not, right?
Yeah, she’s usually the most hot headed amongst us, yet she is…

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“Adventurers should settle things like adventurers. How about a
contest? Whoever can gain the approval of others and convince
them that you are the real deal wins.”
Megumin, whose name seemed most like a knockoff out of all of
us, made such a suggestion.

–After Kozuma and his party left.
I gave Megumin a broad smile and said.
“Well done, Megumin. As expected of the person with the highest
intelligence in our party, that’s quite the trick you cooked up.”
Megumin returned my smile.
“You aren’t too bad yourself for seeing through my plan so
quickly. Indeed, Axel is our home. It wouldn’t matter how hard
they work, compared to us who have known them for a long time,
it’s clear who the citizens of Axel would see as the knockoff.”
It looks like this girl isn’t just an explosion maniac.
Even though she thinks of nothing but explosion magic all day,
she can still be pretty smart every now and then.
“And it’s winter right now. Only strong monsters will be active in
this season. We can just sit back and relax. I don’t know how
strong they are, but no matter what, going out to fight winter
monsters would be…”

161

Megumin and I shared a laugh.
“You know, somehow I feel like we are the knockoffs right now.”

↲

162

Part 4 ↲

After that, we spent two weeks living an indulgent life in the
mansion.
“Alright, it’s done. Take a look. These are the silver arrows that I
made with my Crafting skill to kill time. It should be quite
effective against undead, devils, and werewolves.”
Aqua looked at me out of the corner of her eye as I laid out my
arrow on the table in front of the fireplace.
“As always, it’s pretty well made. But, what do you intend to do
with it? If you want to hunt devils or the undead, I’m all for it. Are
we heading to Wiz’s store next?”
“Just who are you planning to shoot? Anyway, I’ve only made just
the one right now, so let’s keep it safe for now.”
I placed the arrow in my quiver, and Aqua, stretching lazily on the
sofa, said.
“Hey, Kazuma, we don’t have anything to do anyways, so why
don’t we head to the guild for a change?”
“… Yeah, the only time I’ve gone out recently is to accompany
Megumin on her trip or to buy stuff. I’d like to spend some time
with the others too.”
After noon, the four of us headed to the guild.
The moment I opened the door…

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“As expected of Kozuma-san! I have lost count of how many one
strike bears you’ve killed. With this, the villagers nearby will be
able to live out the winter without worries.”
“Not bad, Kozuma! Would you mind treating me to a drink!?”
“Megumi, I heard it was you who dealt the finishing blow with
your spells! Do you mind coming with us to gain some levels next
time? Of course, I’ll compensate you.”
“Larkness-san, thank you for saving me back then! This is just a
small token of my appreciation!”
The cheerful noises from within the guild overwhelmed me.
Wait a minute. Kozuma? Megumi? Larkness?
“Ah, you finally appeared, you bastard!”
Just as I was still struggling to come to grips with what I’m seeing,
the man who was standing at the center of the circle of
adventurers saw me and called out.
That man had a very rugged look, and seemed really familiar
somehow…
“Ah, that’s right! We were in some kind of competition, right!?”
“Stop joking! You were the ones who suggested it in the first
place…!”
Still, what is the meaning of this? How could they be praised so
highly in this town that has become my home?

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“Hey, Megumin, this isn’t what we expected. They seem to be
more capable than we thought. At this rate, we might really end
up being regarded as the knockoffs.”
“W-What should we do? Can we change the contents of the
challenge now? If we were playing a board game, I’m confident
that I won’t lose…”
Just as Megumin and I whispered, Kozuma walked up to us.
“Hey, so, are you satisfied now, knockoffs? The most capable
party here is us, so is it settled now?”
“Wait a minute, don’t you feel any shame over using the time
while we are recuperating to get a leg up?”
“What are you talking about!? This entire thing was your idea!”
Dammit, Megumin’s knockoff is actually quite smart. They
weren’t swept up into our rhythm so easily this time.
“So, do you want to admit defeat? The name Kazuma is hardly
ever mentioned in the guild these days!”
Kozuma gave me a victorious smile.
“You ungrateful bastards! Didn’t I treat you all countless times!?”
“What are you saying!? You hardly even show up in the guild
these few weeks!”

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“Sure, you might have treated us many times, but just like that
Aqua of yours, you frequently cause trouble for us, so we are even!
I don’t know what kind of contest you two are having, but if you
want me to support you, then buy me a drink!”
These guys are no good. Fellow adventurers my ass, I can’t rely on
them at all.
Larkness strode up to me.
“This should be enough, young man. Our original reason for
coming here is to lecture you, but there is one other matter. With
this, it should be clear that we are the stronger party. Now, please
listen to our request.
Just then.
“Please, somebody help! Is there a priest here!? Akua-san!? Is
Akua-san here!?”
A female adventurer supporting her bloodied companion barged
into the guild.
“If you are looking for me, I’m right here.”
Aqua, standing by the door, said.
“Akua-san…! Oh, it’s just Aqua-san…”
“Apologize! Apologize for being disappointed after seeing me!
Don’t you want to heal that person!? My healing magic is the best
in the world!”

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Kozuma and his party rushed over upon seeing the new arrival.

“T-This is…”

Kozuma seemed to have been able to tell just how wounded the
man was with a glance, and sadly shook his head.

Akua pushed aside Aqua as she complained to the adventurer, and
hurried to attend to the wounded.

“… He was attacked by a white wolf, right? Regrettably, this is…”

Akua said and closed her eyes, but prepared to use healing magic
in order to ease the pain…

“Sacred Highness Heal!”

Before she could, a white light enveloped the adventurer.

“What!?” x4

Kozuma and his party yelled in surprise after seeing the man’s
injuries close up.

“See that!? Aqua-san can properly heal wounds too! Now
apologize! Apologize for ignoring me and seeking some new girl
instead!”

“T-Thank you very much, Aqua-san! I’ll treat you to a drink next
time!”

Kozuma and his party looked on with unbelieving eyes as the
adventurer thanked Aqua.

167

“Really? Don’t forget to buy me some snacks to go with the wine
too. The fried frog’s tongue Kazuma mentioned before sounds
really tasty, so please buy that for me as well.”
“Understood, but don’t drink too much. I don’t have that much
money.”
Hearing Aqua’s words, Akua stumbled.
Still, white wolf, huh?
White wolves is a carnivorous monster that only appears in the
winter, and I doubt the timid adventurers in this town would
willingly approach such a dangerous monster…
“W-What, Kazuma, are you seriously willing to accept a drink in
payment? And I heard something about sacred highness or
something like that earlier…”
Just as Kozuma whispered to me.
The injured adventurer regained consciousness and looked
around.
“This place is…? Ah, my wound is healed… Akua-san? Did you
heal me?”
The man asked upon seeing Akua who was hugging herself.
“Did you think it was Akua-san? Too bad, but the person who
healed you is Aqua-san!”

168

“Dammit, that was such a good atmosphere too…”
Hearing the man’s complain, Aqua grabbed his neck.
Akua, looking defeated, gazed silently on.
“No, wait! Aqua, strangle him later. I have something to ask him.
Hey, why were you attacked by a white wolf in the first place? I
know you aren’t very skilled, but I’m sure you at least know not to
approach their hunting ground, right?”
“Er, well, you see… The white wolves suddenly appeared near the
town out of nowhere. As long as they can smell an open wound,
they’ll attack you without a second thought.”
The surrounding adventurers glanced at each other.

↲

169

Part 5 ↲

“So this world has an ecosystem too.”
The snow covered fields outside of Axel shimmered pure white as
far as the eye could see.
Kozuma and I left the guild and arrived here along with our
companions.
“White wolves frequently fight with one strike bears in the winter.
In a one on one match, the one strike bear would win, but not
against a group. One strike bears that come out during the winter
in search of food frequently come into conflict with white wolves,
which keeps their population stable.”
I said to myself, Kozuma, walking next to me, lowered his head.
“So that’s why the people around here don’t go out in winter… but
we…”
He seemed very despondent.
If I told him that I pretty much made all of that up, he’d probably
kill me right now.
“True, normally, white wolves wouldn’t come this close to human
settlements. It might very well be as Kazuma said… Though, it
feels very much like Kazuma is lecturing Kozuma-san right now…”
Megumin agreed with me and also softly mentioned an
unnecessary thing under her breath.

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“In any case… There are just way too many of them! We should go
back and return with some more adventurers. With Aqua-san’s
healing magic, they shouldn’t have any problems fighting with
them!”

Megumi pointed towards the large pack of white wolves in the
distance, that were also looking in our direction.

But well…

“It’s not that big of a deal. you can handle that without any
problems, right, Megumin?”

“It’ll be a piece of cake.”

Kozuma and his party seemed taken aback after hearing what we
just said.

“W-Wait a minute! I don’t know what kind of spells you are
planning on using, but against such numbers, a spellcaster will be
easily singled out. Let me and Kozuma buy some time first…”

Saying that, Larkness removed the shield from her back.

“No, leaving the white wolves aside, there’s no way you’ll be able
to withstand Megumin’s spell. It’d be best for me to go forward
alone.”

Saying that, Darkness strode out to the front.

“Wait, are you really okay with that? Kazuma? Your companion…”

Perhaps out of concern for Darkness-

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However…
“Our Crusader extremely hard. Not only can she take a blow from
a Demon King’s general, she can also withstand a hit from an
Explosion. If there is a blow that she cannot withstand, I don’t
think anyone else can.”
I said to put Kozuma at ease, but for some reason, Kozuma gulped
and seemed even more nervous than before.
“Well, if anything happens, I’ll make sure to resurrect you
immediately, so don’t worry.”
“Resurrect…”
Once again, Kozuma and his party seemed at a loss for words.
It’s also at this point when I noticed that they seem to be looking
at me with a gaze of anticipation.
“… W-What?”
Why are they looking at me like that?
What, are they expecting me to pull out some amazing skills too?
Apologies, but the only flashy skill I know is Steal. I don’t have
anything amazing like those other three.
Though, white wolves are stronger than the average monster
around these parts. If I don’t find a weakness or two…

172

“Kazuma, that must be the alpha of that pack. It looks a little
larger than the rest.
I used my Farsight skill to take a closer look at where Darkness is
pointing.
“Yeah, it really is bigger than the rest. There are also a few female
wolves around it. That is definitely the leader of the pack.”
Kozuma muttered to himself.
“…I see, the Farsight skill.”
Is there a way…
Just then, I was reminded of something and retrieved an arrow
from my quiver.
Akua, the priest, seemed to notice something about the arrow and
muttered.
“Silver arrow…”
Kozuma frowned.
“… Did you already expect such a thing to happen as a result of
our actions and made preparations…”
He seems to be under some kind of misunderstanding.
“… Well, there’s no better place to use this…”

173

There’s no reason for me to correct him, and Kozuma and his
party’s gaze became one of admiration.
“Hey, Kazuma, didn’t you say you made that arrow because you
were bored?”
“Aqua, I’ll buy you your favourite wine when we get back, so
please be quiet.”
After whispering to Aqua, I nocked my bow.
The pack of white wolves seemed to notice this action and charged
towards us.
“Megumin, start chanting your magic! I’ll take out the alpha, but if
they don’t back down after that, we’ll have to rely on you!
Darkness, buy us some time with your decoy skill!”
“Very well, I’ll vent all my frustrations over not being able to take
out any monsters recently all at once! Behold my ultimate spell,
Explosion!”
“Don’t worry, I will definitely not let them pass. Go ahead and
take me with them!”
“A-Are you serious!? Explosion magic…”
Megumi looked at Megumin with a disbelieving expression, and
slowly started edging backwards.
“Come to think of it, back when we had the fight outside the
mansion, the little mage girl said ‘ the power of my spell is strong

174

enough that even if I hold back, I won’t be able to guarantee your
survival.’. So that wasn’t just a boast…”
Kozuma said while gazing into the distance.
“Kazuma, I’ve cast support magic on you, so go right ahead!”
“My luck is second to none! Leave that guy to me!”
After receiving Aqua’s support spell, I used Snipe and let loose my
arrow.
The arrow flew unerringly to the alpha’s forehead, and it died
immediately.
A normal arrow probably wouldn’t have killed it so easily. I’m not
sure what else I can do with it right now, but I think I’ll try and
make more use of my Crafting skill in the future.
Of course, this success is also thanks to the great luck I was born
with.
“The other wolves haven’t retreated! They are still coming towards
us… No, to that Crusader lady!”
As I was mentally congratulating myself, Kozuma shouted in a
panic.
At the same time, Megumin gave me a look.
I immediately understood, she has completed her chant for
Explosion.

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“Megumin, go.”
The moment Megumin heard those words, she unleashed her
spell.
“Explosion–!!”
The snow that covered the fields evaporated into a thick fog in an
instant, and the shockwave swept through the entire plain.

↲

176

Part 6 ↲

“We are really sorry challenging you!”
Kozuma bowed and apologized after we took out the white wolves.
“N-No, no, it’s fine. Well, As long as you understand that. Just
don’t come smashing on our door again!”
Seeing their attitude make a 180 degree turn, I took the chance to
be a little conceited.
“Really, thanks to you, my reputation as the best healer in Axel
was almost taken away! Hurry up and apologize! This is the
nickname everything in this town gave to me! Don’t take away my
accomplishments!”
Aqua, similarly conceited, immediately started demanding an
apology. Though, if I’m not wrong, the others only gave her that
nickname to butter her up so she would use recovery magic..
Darkness pushed us away and gave them a reassuring smile.
“Still, you went on thoise extermination quests with the town in
mind. That is worthy of praise. Just, in the future…”
“Hah, this is a piece of cake to us! It’s nothing compared to one of
the Demon King Generals!”
Megumin, lying on the ground, interrupted Darkness.
Just then.

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“Ha…Hahahaha!”
Kozuma and the others broke out into laughter.
“What an amazing person! I bet all those ill rumours about you
were spread by those jealous of what you’ve achieved. I should be
the one ashamed to travel all this way to pick a fight with you. My
deepest apologies.”
“O-Oh, yeah, well, it’s fine.”
“I’m really sorry. We might not look like it, but we are a fairly
famous adventuring party too. When I first heard rumours about
you, I thought it was just someone imitating us to steal our
thunder. But then the rumours got worse…”
“Yeah, one of the rumours concerns something very important to
us…”
I curiously asked after hearing Megumi and Larkness’s words.
“Something important?”
Kozuma nodded.
“The Demon King’s general, Hans. He originally defeated one of
my companions. I became an originally adventurer in order to
avenge him.”
What the hell, this sounds just like the backstory you’d give to the
protagonist of a fantasy story.

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Come to think of it, he did mention he had some other matter
when he first met me.
Could that be…
“Kazuma-san, I thank you for avenging my companion. Thank
you. This is the message that I needed to convey to you no matter
what.”
Saying that, Kozuma fell into a deep bow.
Oh dear, what am I to do?
Compared to us who went to Alcanretia for a vacation and
exhibited such petty behaviour earlier, these guys definitely seem
more protagonist like.
“… So did the rest of you become adventurers for the same
reason?”
After muttering a short prayer, Darkness asked.
Yes, you are our last hope, Darkness.
I’m counting on you. I did think that your name felt like a dark
knight’s the moment I met you, but I’m really sorry.
“No, I… I was originally a knight of a territory that was taken over
by the Demon King’s army. I became an adventurer in order to
rebuild my homeland and take vengeance for my companions.”
“I-Is that so…”

179

Darkness said in a voice filled with respect.
This isn’t good. No matter how you look at it, they seem far more
protagonist like than us.
Sensing that she’d be the next to go, Megumi showed a distressed
expression.
“As for me, well… The grandfather who gave me my name is a very
powerful mage. In order to uphold my family’s legacy, I…”
“Okay, that’s enough!”
And now there is a descendant of some great mage!

“–I’m really sorry for causing you so much trouble.”

Kozuma said they’ll be heading onwards on their journey instead
of returning to the guild.

We sent them off with a defiant smile, almost as if to say ‘We
haven’t lost out to you.’

“No, it’s fine. The more famous a person is, the more people
would want to slander them. If you run into someone like this
along your journeys, please teach him a lesson for me.”

Kozuma nodded without a hint of joviality upon hearing my
words.

No, no, there’s no need to treat it so seriously.

180

“If someone dares speak ill of my benefactor, there’s no way I’ll let
them go. If people continue spreading such rumours, I’ll be sure
to teach them a lesson. After all, the rumours that are going
around are just too much.”
“Such as?”
I’m an idiot for asking.
Kozuma thought for a moment.
“….Yes, for instance, there is a rumour where you tied your
companion up and dragged them behind your carriage. There’s no
way that would be true.
Stop.
“I also heard that you stole the panties of your party’s mage.
Thinking about it, that’s clearly impossible. She’s your
companion, after all, and she’s still quite young…”
No, wait, stop.
“There are even worse rumours, like wantonly using magic to lay
waste to the countryside, or destroying all the hot springs of
Alcanretia… I, I, I also frequently get people coming up to me with
‘Larkness, are you a masochist? Can I berate you?’ and other such
ridiculous things. Of course, I sent them all packing, but just what
is going on..”
Seriously, stop.

181

“But I believe that there is not a speck of truth in these rumours!”
Akua said with a gentle smile—
—The four of us immediately got on our knees and apologized.

↲

182

Sneaker Bunko 30th Anniversary Event Short
Story: The Spring Scenery of this Other World ↲

TL: Cannongerbil
Editor: Striker

[TL Note: This short story was given away to attendees at the
special anniversary event that Sneaker bunko held earlier in the
spring. This is not the short story that showed up in the special
anniversary edition Sneaker bunko released, which should be
going up sometime soonish]
Just shortly after noon, the light of the sun shines in gently
through the window.
I was enjoying a short nap by the window after lunch, before a
sudden loud noise blew any trace of the previously comfortable
atmosphere away.
“Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san! Let’s go flowerwatching! The cherry
blossoms are really beautiful today!”
Hearing Aqua in such high spirits gave me a bad feeling, so I
continued pretending to sleep.
“… Are you sleeping? Hey, Kazuma, you’re actually awake, aren’t
you?”
Just as Aqua was shaking my body,
“Aqua, it’s too cruel to force a sleeping man awake. Let’s just enjoy
the flower viewing with the three of us.”

183

“True… Kazuma must be worn out by his constant adventures.
Let’s just enjoy the flowers without him.”
Megumin and Darkness said, convincing Aqua to give up.
“It would’ve been merrier the more people we had with us, but…
Oh well. We even managed to procure high quality snacks to go
with the wine too.”
… High quality snacks.
No, no, no, don’t fall for it. Nothing good comes out of getting
involved with the plants of this world.
Even if there is a cherry blossom in this world, it’d be the kind
that’d spit sap in your eyes before slicing you to pieces with their
sharp vines or something.
Then Aqua would cry, Darkness would clutch her head, Megumin
would blow it and the entire area up and I’ll have to clean up after
them.
I removed all thoughts of the high quality snacks from my mind
and remained motionless…
“After all, the cherry blossoms spirits alway appear completely
nude. It’d be too much excitement for Kazuma, so…”
“Hey, what are you three doing!? Hurry up and grab your stuff!
You didn’t forget to bring the wine? Alright, let’s hurry up and
go!”

184

When I shot up from my bed and started shouting instructions,
the three of them looked at me like they were looking at walking
garbage–

–Cherry blossoms.
“Waaaaah! Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san! Please save me!”
That’s a flower that heralds the coming of spring, one that all
Japanese love.
“Kuzuma, quick, scatter the wine on the ground! The cherry
blossom spirits will return to the ground to drink once you do!”
–Cherry blossoms.
“A Crimson Demon like me is not going to lose to a mere plant!
Buy me some time! I’ll use Explosion to blow them all away!!”
A flower that only blooms for a short time, and thus captures the
adoration of the public.
“Don’t look down on us Japanese! Even if I die I’ll definitely catch
a clear view of you cherry blossoms spirits!”
I stopped Darkness who was just about to start pouring wine.
“Come up here and face me!!!”
Yelling, I charged straight into the cloud of flower petals—

185

In the end, Aqua cried, Darkness clutched her head, Megumin
used Explosion and blew up the entire area, and I had to pay for
the destruction of one cherry blossom tree.

↲

186

Untitled Aqua Short Story ↲

TL: Cannongerbil
Editor: Striker

[Originally linked by Natsume from his blog on May 2nd, 2014,
this story (and several more!) was never officially published. It
might be that he dropped them, or that they didn’t make the cut
(or maybe he just wanted to have fun?). In any case, this takes
place around volume 4, so the status quo and character
relationships are a little different from the later volumes.

Thanks to Striker for digging these up.]
“Vampire? You’re talking about a vampire? That high ranking
undead monster?”

“Yeah, I heard he was living in a dungeon until a party of skilled
adventurers decided to pay him a visit. Apparently, he decided to
turn tail and flee to Axel. He must have used quite a bit of his
power fighting with those adventurers, so it wouldn’t be
surprising if he tried to regain his strength by sucking blood here.
You have a skilled priest in your party, right? If someone manages
to find that Vampire, they might give your party a call.”

And that’s what the adventurer told me.

It’s dusk right now.

We didn’t have anything to do today, so everyone is off all over
town enjoying their day offー

“Ah, I see. Thanks for the info. The sun is about to set soon, so I’ll
be careful out on the streets.”

187

“Well, there’s no need to worry too much about it. Vampires suck
blood in order to absorb the target’s mana. There aren’t that many
people with high mana in this town to begin with. At the very
least, I doubt he’ll go after people like you or me.”
After saying that, the adventurer bid me goodbye and went back
to join the rest of his companions at his table.
I came to this tavern to have dinner, and everyone is talking about
this incident.
“Hey, two garlic-mashed frog meat sets over here, please~!”
“Stir-fry vegetables with lots of garlic, please!”
Most of the food being ordered tonight are ones with garlic in it.
It’s probably to ward off attacks from the Vampire.
Still, they’ll only target people with high mana, huh?
To put it another way, my party is one of the most likely targets
for the Vampire.
Aqua and Megumin both have high mana, after all.
Aqua can handle herself against any undead creature, so she’ll
probably be fine.
But Megumin… I think it would be best if I tracked her down and
told her to be on her guard.

188

ーJust as that thought entered my mind, the door to the tavern
opened.
Along with it came a boisterous voice that could be heard clearly
over the hustle and bustle in the tavern.
“Zombies are nothing compared to me! You are really lucky that I
happened to pass by just then! If you want to thank me, just
buying me dinner tonight will be enough!”
“Y-Yes! T-Thank you very much…”
The person who entered the tavern was Aqua, accompanied by an
unfamiliar woman with a pale complexion.
She had a parasol in one hand and covered her body with a black
cloak, and she wore quite a bit of make-up on her face.
The best phrase to describe her would be “femme fatale.”
Aqua noticed me and walked over with the unfamiliar woman in
tow.
“Kazuma, are you here for dinner too? Great timing, let’s eat
together. Oh, let me introduce you. This is Carmilla-san. I found
her outside town mobbed by a group of zombies and saved her
from being dragged away.”
“P-P-P-P-Pleased to meet you! My name is Carmilla! I-I-I can’t
thank Aqua-san enough for helping me…!”

189

Carmilla stammered repeatedly, and what little color was left on
her face faded away.

ーActually…
“… Hey, Aqua, apparently, a vampire might have escaped to this
town, so it’s best not to wander around too much at night.”
At my words, Carmilla trembled in shock.
“I-I-I-Is that so!? H-H-How scary! A-A vampire, huh?”
And spat those words out in a painfully false monotone.
“It’s fine. It’s just a vampire. You saw how I turned that entire
horde of zombies to dust with a single Turn Undead, right? If a
vampire shows up in front of me, I’ll just turn him into my
experience points!”
“Eep!”
In response to Aqua’s confident declaration, Carmilla let out a
small squeal of fright.

ーNo matter how you look at it.
“Still, you must really be unlucky to be attacked by so many
zombies while the sun is still up. Could a vampire’s presence really

190

cause such a drastic change in their behaviour? Oh, right, garlic
dishes are really popular in town right now. All the adventurers
are eating them. A young girl like you is the perfect target for a
vampire, so you should have some too, just in case.”
“Eh!? N-No, it’s fine! I’m concerned about my breath, so…”
“Now is not the time to be worrying about bad breath. Kazuma is
right, you should have some garlic to ward off vampires! Or what,
is there some other reason why you can’t eat garlic…?”
“No, of course not! I’ll have some! I’ll gladly have some garlic!”
As Aqua started staring her down, Carmilla hastily agreed.
Judging from her reaction and when she showed up, she’s
definitely the Vampire that everyone’s talking about.

ーCarmilla, tearfully, and with an expression that seemed like she
was struggling not to puke, brought a spoonful of the garlic-
sprinkled dish we ordered to her mouth.
The adventurers around me were giving her curious glances.
It seems like I’m not the only one who thinks that Carmilla looks
like a vampire.
The only reason no one said it out loud is because no one
particularly liked the idea of fighting a powerful undead inside a
tavern.

191

And of course, there’s Aqua, who, completely oblivious to any of
this, and heaped a large spoonful of mashed garlic from her salad
onto Carmilla’s plate.
“!!!!???!!?!??”
Carmilla shot up in panic at the sudden increase in garlic.
“You seem to like garlic to the point of tears, so I’ll give you some
of mine. Don’t hold back, just dig in.”
Aqua gave her a wide smile.
“T-Thanff youff… vefy muff…!”
As Carmilla sobbed, Aqua leaned in close and whispered to her
lowly.
“I’ll give you something to ward away the undead. You seem to be
really attractive to zombies, so this should be useful to you. Here,
hold out your hand.”
“Hmm? What is thaaaaaーー!
The moment Aqua dropped something into Carmilla’s hand, it
began smoking, causing Carmilla to roll around on the floor in
pain.
“That’s the holy charm of the Axis Cult that I poured a lot of my
holy mana into. It’ll be very effective against the undead, so keep

192

it on you… Hey, what’s wrong? Why is smoking coming out of
your hand?”

“Aaaaarrggh, t-this is, I-I-I’m allergic to this kind of metal! Thank
you very much! I’ll treasure it!”

Carmilla carefully picked up the holy charm pressed into her hand
with a pair of chopsticks, warily wrapped it in a handkerchief, and
stuffed it in her pocket.

Aqua took Carmilla’s smoking hand and gently placed her other
palm over it.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were allergic to metal. Don’t worry, I’m
an Archpriest! I’ll heal you right now! Heal!”

“Aaaaaaaa… Tttttthank you, veeeeeeery muuuuuch!”

Carmilla quickly pulled her hand out of Aqua’s grasp the moment
she started casting a spell.

“Hmm? It felt like your hand just disappeared when I casted my
healing spell on it…”

“T-That’s just your imagination! Thank you very much, I feel
much better now! I’ve already paid for your meal, so I don’t want
to overstay my welcome…”

Carmilla quickly spat out those words before standing up and
making for the door.

“Yeah, I’m getting bored of teasing you like this. I suppose it’s
time to properly purify you.”

193

ーWait.
“Y-You knew who Carmilla was all along!? So all that stuff was
you putting on an act?”
“Of course! Just who do you think I am? I could tell she was an
undead the moment I laid eyes on her.”
This woman is atrocious!
“P-P-Please spare me! I-I haven’t hurt anyone yet, so please let me
go!”
“No way! Undead are my enemies! So make peace with… Ah, wait,
Kazuma? What are you doing!? Don’t get in my way!”
I grabbed Aqua from behind and shouted at the teary eyed and
trembling Carmilla.
“Run! I’ll let you off on account of you not having hurt anyone yet,
so hurry up and run!”
“T-Thank you very much! I owe you for this!”
“Aaaah! Traitor! Kazuma you traitor!”
Carmilla hastily left the tavern, and Aqua managed to slip from
my grip after a short period of thrashing around and went after
her.
“Hold it right there! You’ll become my experience points!”

194

“P-Please let me go!”
With Aqua hot on her heels, Carmilla vanished into the night.
This is a world where even vampires have a hard time surviving.
If there really is a goddess, please give your blessings upon this
harsh worldー

↲

195

Untitled Megumin Short Story ↲

TL: Cannongerbil
Editor: Striker

[Originally linked by Natsume from his blog on May 2nd, 2014,
this story (and several more!) was never officially published. It
might be that he dropped them, or that they didn’t make the cut
(or maybe he just wanted to have fun?). In any case, this takes
place around volume 4, so the status quo and character
relationships are a little different from the later volumes.
Thanks to Striker for digging these up.]
On a certain afternoon.
“I really want to see a real mage at least once.”
After enjoying a light meal at the guild, I muttered that over a cup
of tea.
As I did so, Megumin, seated opposite me, dropped her spoon
along with her jaw.
“… W-What did you just say?”
“Hmm? No, I just thought I wanted to see a real mage at least
once. There are a lot of people in this town who happen to be
spellcasters, but they don’t quite match the image of a mage that I
have.”
ーAt those words, the atmosphere in the guild changed.

196

“… Kazuma, are you picking a fight with the mage right in front of
you? As a Crimson Demon, famed for producing many exceptional
mages, I can’t let that slide… Why don’t you describe the image of
a mage that you have in your mind? If there is even one person in
town who fits that image, I’m going to have you apologize.”
“No, I’m not trying to pick a fight or anything. It’s just that my
idea of a mage is…”
Megumin slammed on the table in protest, and some of the other
adventurers in the guild nodded in agreement.
“… It’d be someone who has a high amount of pride in the value of
magic and refuses to use it for trivial matters… Like using Tinder
to warm up the snacks he was served while drinking, or casting
Blizzard in the stables on warm nights only to get scolded in the
morning for drenching the place…”
The man a few tables over casually roasting his squid over a plate,
along with several other adventurers, suddenly stiffened up.
“And there’s the guy who scalded himself after throwing a fireball
into the public baths after complaining that the water is too cold,
and the guy who uses his instant kill spell that he’s so proud of for
construction work…”
“Please stop! I’ll admit that we aren’t that great, so please don’t
say anything more!”
With Megumin’s concession, and seeing some people in the guild
were shifting uncomfortably in their seats, I agreed to stop
elaborating there and went back to the original topic.

197

“Well, we’ve gotten a little off track, but I really want to see a
proper mage. I mean, the mages in this town are, you know,
depending on their mood, they’d blast away with offensive spells
and pick a fight with muscle-bound vanguards. Mages are
supposed to be more mild-mannered, calm… And wise, you
know?”
“I-I’m plenty mild-mannered… Sorry, sorry! I’m sorry for blasting
away with Explosion without thinking! Please stop looking at me
like that!”
“… Anyway, I want to see a real mage. For instance… Does anyone
here have a grimoire or something? Like someone whose actual
day job is deciphering magical texts?”
At my words, the various mages who were listening closely to me
suddenly averted their gaze.
“Is there not a single one!? Like researching lost magics or
refining magic circle constructions or doing experiments with
alchemy!? Mages are supposed to be the same as scholars, aren’t
they!?… Hey, you’re burning the squid!

ーIn a dimly lit room, a hooded figure chanted in a low and heavy
voice like she was reciting a forbidden spell.
“Oh, great power of the earth, waters that trace from the source of
life… Red… Red… The fresh, red fruit of the devil…! Mix together
with the flesh of the devil, and be transformed by the heat of my
fires to what you should be!”

198

The robed figure raised both hands as the pot in front of her
started giving out a wonderful scent.
“Thee who has been transformed into thy most appetizing form!
Become my blood, my flesh, and the source of my power!”
ーMegumin said with a smile, removing her hood and ladling a
scoop of frog meat stew onto a plate.
“… Say, this is just stew, right? Do you really need to do such a
dubious ceremony to create it?”
“Of course. That is the power of words. By doing so, the bruised
ingredients that we were able to get cheaply will be transformed
into high quality food.”
“… Oh, so magic can do that too. When you said you were going to
show me your wizardly side and started cooking, I had half a mind
to go home… So this really was a magic ritual.”
“No, it’s just a lie. This is just a normal stew, I just said those lines
during cooking for the atmosphere… Ow-ow-ow, I’m sorry, please
stop!”
As I pulled on Megumin’s cheeks, I heard the footsteps of several
people rushing about in the room outside.
Megumin said that she’ll show me a proper magic ritual and led
me to the kitchen after borrowing it from the guild, but…

199

“Hey, hurry up and prepare while the Crimson Demon girl buys us
time! We’re going to show that guy real magic…!”
“How do you draw a magic circle again!? Does anyone know the
magic circle for summoning familiars!?”
“Crystal balls are pretty mage-like, right? Where do they sell them
again?”
As the mages made a fuss out in the guild, I took a sip from
Megumin’s stew.
“Sorry, I didn’t expect my careless remark to result in such an
incident… This is pretty good.”
“Well, spellcasters in general tend to be a prideful bunch, so be
careful in the future… Would you like seconds?”
As Megumin got me another ladle full of stew, the doors to the
kitchen flew open.
“We’re done with the preparations! Now, let’s show you what a
true mage is like!”

ーReally, how did it come to this?

“Heheh, now, listen to me. When you talk about mages, what
comes to mind is, of courseー!”

“If you say magical girl at your age, I’m gonna smack you.”

200