All The Young Dudes

“You’re the moodiest bloke I know, worse than a girl on the blob when something’s 
pissed you off. And you ‘aven’t half got a mouth on ya. I’ve ‘ad broken ribs hurt less than 
some things you’ve said.” 

“You never said…” 
“No, well, I let you get away with it because it's easier than picking a fight. ‘sides, it’s 
not your fault. I'm the same, in’t I? We all are, institutionalised kids.” 
“Institutionalised?!” 
It was an enormous word coming from Grant, but it felt rude to say so. ​God,​ Remus 
thought to himself, w​ hen did I become such a snob? 
“Yep, ‘pparently that’s what we are. The poet told me - ‘e was doing a course in 
psychology. Said I’m afraid to stay with one person too long ‘cos I was abandoned too much 
when I was small. Dumped him after that, obviously.” 
“I’ve been with Sirius for ages.” Remus replied, defensively. “It’s only ever been him.” 
“Got the same problem, though.” Grant mused, as though they were just passing the 
time of day, “When was the last time you let anyone be nice to you without saying 
something 'orrible back?” 
Remus pressed his lips together. 
“I don’t do that.” He said, though he already knew Grant was right. Bastard. 
“If you say so.” Grant returned, casually. “How’s everything else, anyway?” 
“I met my mother.” 
“Crikey.” 
“Yeah. She’s ok.” 
“That what’s got you all moody?” 
“No. Maybe.” 
“Wouldn’t blame you if it was. I lose it for weeks after I see mine. Loves telling me 
how much she hates me.” He always sounded as if he was smiling, even as he said this. It 
made it more unpleasant somehow. 
“Well. Mine didn’t say that.” Remus said. “Actually, she said she loves me.” 
“That’s nice, then.” 
“Yeah.” 
“You don’t have to say it back, y’know. She dumped you, the callous cow, she’s got no 
right to expect it.” 
Remus reeled back a little at that, shocked. 
“She had her reasons. Anyway, it’s not like I don’t feel anything for her. It’s just hard 
to say. S’pose your psychologist friend would think that’s down to me being 
‘institutionalised’.” 
“S’pose so.” 
“But you never had a problem. With, er… affection.” 
Grant laughed again, a joyful cackle. 
“If you don’t reckon shagging every lad who looks at me sideways is a problem.” 

541 

“I just meant you’re more o​ pen…​ ” 
Remus couldn’t go on, Grant’s laughter was drowning everything out. 
“Sorry!” He wheezed, “Gawd, I forgot how funny you were.” 
“I thought I was moody.” 
“You’re a complicated man, Remus bloody Lupin. S’why I love you.” 
Remus groaned. Grant laughed again. “Don’t worry, not in a queer way.” 
That made Remus laugh, and for a good few minutes after that laughter was all that 
passed between them, through miles and miles of telephone wire. 

* * * 
Remus walked back to Hogsmeade with a lighter step than he’d had an hour before. 
Just talking to someone outside of Hogwarts, someone outside of the war, was a wonderful 
relief. 
(“I wish there was a phone at school I could use,” he’d said, apologetically, “I’d call you 
all the time.” 
“When we’re eccentric millionaires,” Grant mused, “We can pay someone to carry a 
phone around for us, everywhere we go. The engineer said they’ll be able to do that, maybe 
by the eighties.” 
“I don’t see how that would work,” Remus frowned, “Where would you plug it in?” 
“You’re the one at the posh school, you tell me.”) 
He’d promised to meet the others in The Three Broomsticks after the phone call, 
which had taken weeks to plan. Sirius hadn’t said anything when Remus headed towards 
the phone box outside of town - maybe a few weeks ago he’d have offered to walk with him, 
but they still weren't being nice to each other. They weren’t being nasty, but they weren’t 
happy. It was tiring, but giving ground seemed like even harder work. 
Remus took a moment for himself before entering the pub. He smoked, leaning 
against the wall under the signpost. It was a bright spring day, and the first weekend he’d 
had in ages which wasn’t organised within an inch of its life. He watched the busy high 
street, happy students walking this way and that with their friends, shopping bags bulging 
and faces beaming. How different was he, from them? Was he any less? 
Not to his friends, he thought, confidently. Not to Sirius. 
Suddenly, he caught a familiar scent on the wind, and he searched the crowd quickly 
to find Chris, hurrying past. 
“Oi! Oi, Christopher!” Remus called to him. 
The mousy boy stopped, saw who was shouting, then came over - a bit reluctantly. 
“Hello, Remus,” he nodded, looking agitated. He didn’t have his usual bag of books, 
and his clothes were smarter than usual. He smelled slightly different too - a new soap, or… 
it couldn’t be cologne?! 
“Hiya, not seen you in ages,” Remus smiled down at him. 

542 

“Yeah, been so busy… then I had that cold, remember?” Christopher didn’t quite meet 
his eyes. He was blushing; but Christopher was always blushing, so Remus didn’t put much 
stock in it. 

“Oh yeah, feeling better?” 
“Yes, thanks. 
“Come in, the others are all inside…” 
“Oh… no, sorry, Remus, um. I’m meeting someone…” 
“Oh!” Remus looked him up and down again. Well now it made a bit more sense. 
“Who?” 
“Erm. Not anyone you know… sorry, but… do you mind? I’m going to be late.” 
“‘Course! Sorry…” Remus said, a little bit annoyed. Christopher had never brushed him 
off like that before. He watched him hurry off down the street and turn a corner. 
Fine. 
Remus stubbed out his cigarette in the pot of red geraniums on the doorstep of the 
pub, then pushed the door open and entered. James, Lily, Mary, Peter, Marlene and Yaz 
were sitting in a booth in the far corner, the table laden with empty glasses. 
He smiled walking over to them, ducking his head under the low black ceiling beams 
and raising a hand in greeting. 
“Moony!” James grinned, waving back. Peter and Mary moved along on the plush 
green velvet seat to make room for him. 
“How was your phone call?” Lily asked, brightly. 
“Good, thanks.” Remus nodded. “What have you lot been up to?” 
“Planning the end of year party.” Mary smiled eagerly. 
“My folks said they’ll host.” James said. “We’ll invite the whole year. Most of them, 
anyway…” 
“Sounds great.” Remus grinned back. 
Things had been awkward between all of them, because it was painfully obvious that 
he and Sirius were fighting. Lily tried to be practical and act as if she was above it all, but 
James was perpetually caught between them, and never knew where to look. 
“Right, come and get them…!” Sirius suddenly appeared over James’s shoulder from 
the bar, a tray of pints in his arms. He looked up and saw Remus, and the smile died on his 
lips. 
Everyone looked away, embarrassed, and Remus felt something harden in his chest. A 
stream of scathing one-liners flashed up in his mind; spiteful, sharp things. It took an 
enormous effort to push them down. He didn’t want it to be easier to be cruel than kind. He 
refused to be that kind of person. St Edmund’s couldn't be all he ever was. 
“Hiya,” he smiled, lowering his head so that his hair fell into his eyes and he had to 
push the curls back. He was such a mess, he ought to get it cut. 
“Hi.” Sirius set the tray down with a clank. “I’ll go back and get you--” 

543 

“Remus can have mine,” Mary said, getting out of the booth, “Samuel from my Charms 
group has been throwing me looks all afternoon… have my seat, Black.” She nudged him 
into the seat, and Sirius gingerly took his place beside Remus. 

“See you later!” Mary trilled, sashaying across the pub floor to a group of Ravenclaw 
boys. 

Marlene grinned and shook her head at Yaz, who laughed and squeezed her hand on 
top of the table. Remus’s heart skipped and he glanced around furtively. 

No one else was looking - their little booth was in an awkward corner of the room, 
away from the windows and poorly lit by gaslights. No doubt the privacy was why they’d 
chosen it, Remus saw now that all of his friends were rosy cheeked and glassy eyed from 
beer. Lily was practically sitting in James’s lap, and his right hand had vanished up the back 
of her jumper. 

“How was the call?” Sirius asked, neutrally, looking down at his beer. 

“Good.” Remus replied quietly, “He sounded really well. Happy.” 

“That's nice.” 
Remus took a deep swig of beer for courage. Peter was talking quidditch with Marlene 
and Yaz, James and Lily only had eyes for each other. He turned to Sirius, twisting sideways 
in the seat, 
“I’m such a prick.” He said. 

“Yep.” Sirius drank too, still not really looking at Remus, though the corner of his lips 
turned up as he tilted his head back. 

The flash of white skin on his neck as he swallowed caught Remus’s attention. He 
budged up on the seat, closer to Sirius. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, so that only Sirius could hear him. 
“I can’t talk to you about anything sometimes without you biting my head off.” Sirius 
grumbled. “You get into these moods and I can’t reach you.” 
“I know…” Remus said, trying not to get too sidetracked by the way Sirius’s adam’s 
apple bobbed, or the way his pulse fluttered in that hollow above his collar bone, or his 
lovely slender wrists, and how he’d love to hold them fast and… 
Remus looked around once more, just in case, before leaning in even closer, pushing 
Sirius’s hair back with his fingers and kissing that beautiful neck, flicking his tongue up, 
just behind his earlobe. He heard Sirius’s sharp intake of breath, and the blood rushing so 
fast in his veins it sounded like fizzing, and Remus’s own temperature began to rise. 

“I’m really sorry,” he said again, “It’s my fault, and I’ll do better.” 

“Better?” Sirius muttered, his head bowed so that his hair fell over his face. 
“Better. I’m sorry. I lose my temper when people tell me what to do, but I’m going to 
try.” 
Sirius’s head inclined towards him, and Remus pulled away so that they could look 
each other in the eye. He wasn’t angry, or guarded anymore, which was a relief. 
“S’pose it’s not really my job to tell you what to do in the first place…” Sirius said, 
giving way so easily. He couldn’t hold grudges, except maybe for his family. He was too 

544 

good, inside and out. Remus felt another pang of guilt at that, and it fortified his resolve. He 
would do everything to change; to deserve Sirius’s blind loyalty. 

“No, but I don’t have to be such a dick about it,” Remus countered, moving back a bit 
more and reaching for his drink. “I’ll make it up yo you, I promise.” 

“Oh yeah?” Sirius cocked an eyebrow. All things forgiven, his mind had clearly 
returned to its usual preoccupation. 

“Later.” Remus returned, imperiously, giving him a light slap on the thigh. 
“So what did Grant say?” Sirius settled back comfortably into the corner of the booth. 
The uncomfortable part over, his posture relaxed, he rested a boot against the nearest free 
stool, leaning forward on his knee. 
“Oh, we just caught up,” Remus said, swilling his beer lightly, “He’s still working in 
Brighton, has his own flat; wants to get a car for weekends.” 
“We could go there, after school’s finished.” Sirius suggested, “If you wanted? If 
there’s time for a holiday.” 
“Maybe,” Remus nodded, drinking again. None of them knew what would happen 
when school ended; not really. Even James and Lily were hazy on the details. 
“--so I told him I’d hex his bollocks off if he asked me one more time.” Yaz was just 
saying, Marlene giggling and hiding her face in her hands, 
“You’re awful!” 
“Well he needs to learn his lesson!” 
“Who?” James and Sirius both asked, neither one of them wanting to be left out of any 
gossip. 
“Ugh, Lockhart,” Yaz tossed her head haughtily, her ponytail swinging. 
“Is he bothering you lot again?” James frowned, “I told him to stay away from my 
team! I’ll tell Flitwick--” 
“Don’t worry, he got the message this time,” Marlene laughed, “Yaz is convincing.” 
“What does he want?” Sirius asked. 
“He just keeps sniffing around, trying to find out what we’re up to.” James sighed, 
shaking his head, “Reckons he’s being left out. He’s like a more hygiene conscious version 
of Snape in fifth year.” 
Lily elbowed him in the ribs, which only made James laugh. 
“Left out of what?” Remus frowned, “He doesn’t even play, and he’s a Ravenclaw - they 
lost the last game.” 
“Moony!” Sirius exclaimed, “Did you just demonstrate quidditch knowledge?!” 
Everybody laughed at him, and Remus mock-sulked, drinking more beer. 
“Hard to avoid it in our bloody dorm.” He retorted. 
“Anyway, it’s not the quidditch team he’s interested in.” James shook his head, 
grinning, “It’s ​the other thing.​ ” He said this very ominously, eyebrows knit together and 
casting suspicious looks around the pub. Ah, Remus thought; the prank. 
“He hasn’t asked me,” Remus said, with a shrug. 

545 

“That’s because you’ve got everyone fooled,” Marlene replied. “The whole school 
somehow thinks you’re the mild one out of this lot.” 

Remus smiled at her very sweetly. 
“Are you suggesting I’m not?” He raised an eyebrow, grinning at her. 
Beside him, Sirius made a small strained noise in the back of his throat. His pulse still 
hadn’t quite settled down yet. 
“Right,” Lily stood up, draining her drink and wiping her lips on the back of her 
sleeve, “We’ve got two hours before I’ve got to start herding the prefects back, and I need to 
go to Scrivenshaft's before it closes. Potter?” 
“Yep, coming,” James necked the dregs of his own pint. 
“We both need broom polish, if you want to come, Pete?” Marlene said, kindly. 
Wormtail had been left out of a lot, lately; even Dorcas was ignoring him. 
“Great!” He stood up eagerly, following James out of the booth. 
“Black?” Marlene looked at Sirius. “Didn’t you want new gloves?” 
“I’ll order them from Quidditch Monthly.” He replied, barely looking up at her. 
“Suit yourself,” she shrugged. There was a bit of commotion as they all got their things 
together and settled the bill, but finally Remus and Sirius were left alone. Remus turned to 
him slowly, trying to look innocent. 
“What do you fancy doing, then? Walk? Honeyduke’s?” 
“When the dorm room is guaranteed to be empty for at least two hours?!” Sirius licked 
his lips. 
“More like an hour and a half, by the time we get up there…” 
“Better get a move on then.” 
“Oi,” Remus smirked, standing up, hands in his pockets. “I thought I told you I don’t 
like being told what to do.” 
They walked out of the pub single file, and Remus held the door open. As Sirius edged 
past him, shuffling sideways, he leaned forward subtly and whispered, 
“You’ll just have to tell ​me​ what to do, then.” 
Remus grinned. 
 
(Song: Psychotherapy - Melanie) 
 
 
 
 
 

  

546 

ONE HUNDRED & FORTY-SEVEN 
Seventh Year: Night and Day 

 
God save the queen. 
The fascist regime. 
They made you a moron; 
A potential H bomb. 
  
God save the queen. 
She ain’t no human being 
And there’s no future 
And England’s dreaming... 
  
Friday 28th April 1978 

“Remus… Remus. Fuck’s sake, wake up…” 
“Piss off.” Remus grumbled, shaken awake. “S’the middle of the night.” 
“You’re grinding your teeth again.” Sirius complained. 
“I can’t help it. Go to sleep.” 
“Between your gnashing and Prongs’ snoring and Wormtail getting up every five 
minutes, how can I?!” 
“Oi!” A voice came from across the room, “I have a nervous bladder!” 
“You shouldn’t drink so much before bed!” Sirius hissed back. 
“Sor- ry , ​mother​.” Peter retorted, grumpily, “I didn’t realise you were monitoring my 
biology.” 
“You trip over your dirty laundry every time you get up!” 
“Actually, it was Moony’s books!” 
“Not mine!” Remus called, “For the prank!” 
“All of you, shut up!” James yelled. 
They were quiet, for a minute. 
“Bloody Wormtail.” Sirius muttered into his pillow, rolling over. 
“Great, now I need the loo…” Remus grumbled, getting out of bed, his bare feet hitting 
the cold floorboards. 
He didn’t turn the light on in the bathroom, in an attempt to stay semi-asleep, but it 
was no good. By the time he’d got up, crossed the room, peed and washed his hands, Remus 
was fully awake. And his jaw hurt, so Sirius must have been right about the grinding. It was 
for the same reason Peter had been up and down all night, and probably the same reason 
Sirius couldn’t sleep. NEWTs started next week. 

547 

As he exited the little bathroom, Peter rushed forward to go in again, reaching for the 
panel of light switches on the wall as he did, and hitting the wrong one. Remus winced, 
feeling as if his retinas had blown out as startling artificial brightness filled the room. 

“Wormtail you prick!” Sirius growled from the bed. Remus had left the curtains part 
way open, and the light struck across his face like a laser beam. 

“Sorry, sorry!” Peter said, hopping from foot to foot as he fumbled with the switches 
on the wall, “I didn’t mean to get that one…” 

“I can’t wait until I don’t have to share a room with you any more, you little rodent,” 
Sirius spat, sitting up, “Don’t you ever think about anyone else?!” 

“Shut up, dickhead,” Peter replied, sounding sleepy and upset, “Think I like sharing 
with you and Moony?!” 

“What a​ bout​ me and Moony?!” Sirius sat up, sharply. 
“Just go to the loo, Peter,” Remus sighed, flicking on the bathroom light and then 
flicking off the big overhead bedroom light, so that they were cast into darkness once more. 
Peter slammed the door and locked it. 
“Silly little sod…” Sirius grumbled to himself. 
“Sirius!” Remus snapped, in that authoritative voice that always worked, “Stop 
whining.” 
Sirius pressed his lips together, falling instantly quiet, eyes trained on Remus. 
“Good boy,” Remus smirked. He rubbed the back of his head, glancing at the clock on 
Peter’s bedside table. Half past three. “I’m going downstairs, I won’t be able to sleep now.” 
He said. “And you can have some peace.” 
They’d been sharing Remus’s bed for the past few nights now, and though it was large, 
it wasn’t really meant for two fully grown boys. Unfortunately they no longer had a choice, 
since Sirius’s own bed had disappeared earlier that week. They’d been practicing for the 
prank, and hit a bit of a snag with the main incantation. Sirius remained cheerfully 
optimistic that it would show up again eventually, but Remus was less sure. 
He went quietly down the stairs, book under his arm. 
Remus loved the common room when it was empty; it was filled with some of his very 
happiest memories of Hogwarts. 
He went over and opened the big bay window. He was always too warm, and forever 
getting yelled at for opening windows to let cold air in - but no one was around to 
complain. Remus inhaled the scent of the forest, and the castle; the night sky and the snow 
from the mountains; the velvety smooth water of the lake and every blade of grass on the 
quidditch pitch. Hogwarts. He wondered if he would ever feel so at home anywhere ever 
again. 
Remus shook his head, realising how silly and sentimental he was being. He left the 
windows wide and turned back into the room, settling down on the big velvet couch and 
opening his book. He flicked his wand at the kettle hanging over the fire, and it began to 
heat up. He flicked through his book at his tea brewed, trying to find his place. 

548 

Where would he get his books, after Hogwarts? It was easy enough to join a muggle 
library - but did wizards have them too? Another question for Sirius - or maybe Chris, when 
Remus saw him next. Christopher had been very elusive since they’d bumped into each 
other in Hogsmeade. 

Just as the kettle boiled, Remus’s ears pricked at the sound of familiar footsteps 
descending the dormitory staircase. He smiled a secret smile to himself, and without 
turning around, simply summoned a second teacup from the cabinet, getting ready to pour. 

“Thought you wanted to sleep?” He said, mildly, as Sirius padded across the carpet 
wrapped in his bed blanket, and sat in the warm spot Remus had left on the couch. 

“Prongs’ snoring still.” Sirius yawned, pulling the blanket tighter as Remus brought 
over the tea. “Bloody hell, it’s freezing down here.” 

“I’ll shut the window--” 

“No, it’s ok. I’ll warm up.” 
Remus sat down with his tea, muttering; “​Levio liber”​ , at his book, so that he could 
read it with his tea in one hand and an arm around Sirius, who leaned sleepily against his 
shoulder. ​Will it be like this? ​Remus wondered, a​ fter Hogwarts? Nights on the couch with no one 
bothering us. 
“What you reading?” Sirius asked, watching the heavy book levitating just above 
Remus’s lap. 

“Oh, something I found on legilimency.” 

“Eh?” Sirius raised his head, a small frown forming. “Why?” 
“Just interested.” Remus replied. “Wanted to read something outside of my NEWT 
core texts, and I thought - mind reading; cool. Who wouldn't want to?” 
“I think it ought to be illegal.” Sirius said, suddenly prickly, though Remus didn’t 
know why. “It’s an invasion of privacy - practically a dark art.” 

“Well, I’m only reading about it.” Remus said, carefully. 
“I didn’t mean y​ ou​ would…” Sirius sighed, settling back down. Seeing it had upset 
Sirius, Remus allowed the book to set itself down, and stroked his hair, gently, because he 
always liked it, even if he pretended he didn’t. He felt Sirius relax against him again, before 
saying in an odd voice; “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just that my mother can do it. 
She’s a legilimens.” 

“Oh…” 
“So she could find out what we were up to - where our ‘loyalties lay’.” 

“I’m sorry, Padfoot.” Remus squeezed his arm. That protective feeling came back, cold 
and sweet like adrenaline. 

“Don’t be. I’m well shot of her, mad old bat. And I’d sort of learnt to deflect it, by the 
end. Made her so angry.” He let out a hollow chuckle. 

“You learnt occlumency?” Remus raised his eyebrows, “That's incredible!” 
“Not exactly…” Sirius frowned again, but this time Remus knew it was because he was 
thinking very hard. He sat up, pulling away from Remus, and leaned over to set his tea 
down on the coffee table, 

549 

“It’s more like... you just learn not to think the things she wants you to think. It got 
worse when we were teenagers, you know, she was worried about ‘impure thoughts’. 
Tojours pur​. So I’d just… distract her by thinking something else.” 

“So she wouldn’t find out about Mary?” Remus asked, “Or the other muggle born 
girls?” 

“Um.” Sirius fidgeted with his hands, looking away, “Yeah, that. And… well, whatever, 
anything I didn’t want her to know. Trouble is, you end up confusing yourself. It's like tying 
your own thoughts up in knots. Hard to unpick... ‘fraid you used to get the raw end of that, 
a bit.” 

He met Remus’s eyes then, and he looked so ashamed and sorry, that Remus realised 
exactly what he meant. Was that why it had all been so difficult, in the beginning? Why 
Sirius had been so insistent on pretending nothing was going on between them? 

Remus put down his own tea and hugged Sirius tightly. He hated her. He hated the 
war, and he hated himself for not being able to say the right words. This was one of those 
times it might have really mattered, too. 

“Sirius...” he said, heart pounding as they released each other finally, “I’m so…” 
“It's fine, Moony. It’s over now.” Sirius smiled at him bravely. 
“I know, but I want you to know, I want to t​ ell​ you… I really really… I...” 
“I know.” Sirius kissed him gently, wrapping his arms around him once more and 
squeezing him back. “Me too.” 

* * * 
Well we got no choice 
All the girls and boys 
Makin' all that noise 
'Cause they found new toys 
Well we can't salute ya can't find a flag 
If that don't suit ya that's a drag. 
  
Friday 5th May 1978 

“I failed.” Marlene whispered as they left the exam hall, wringing her hands together. 
“You did not.” Mary slung her arm around her friend’s shoulder. 
“At least it’s over.” Marlene sighed. 
“Don’t, you’re making me all emotional.” Mary laughed. “How about you, Lupin?” She 
reached out to link her arm with his as the three of them walked down the corridor towards 
the grounds. 
“Am I emotional?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. 
“How do you think you d​ id?​ ” Mary clarified, “I know you’re stoic.” 
“Ok, I think. The question on basilisks threw me a bit, but I think I managed.” 
“Stoic and modest, my dream man.” Mary sighed. 
“I have to go,” Marlene said, as they turned a corner, “Sorry, I said I’d meet--” 

550 

“Yasmin.” Mary finished for her, a bit cattily. She let Marlene out from under her arm. 
“Off you, pop, then.” 

“Moody cow,” Marlene poked her tongue out, “You know I love you forever.” 
“Back at you,” Mary scrunched up her nose. “See you at dinner.” 
“Bye, Marlene,” Remus said, politely. They were friends again, but it still felt weird.   
“See you!” 
Mary kept her grip on Remus’s arm, and looked up at him, 
“You’re not about to abandon me for a raven-haired quidditch player too, are you?” 
She asked, “Honestly, it’s like a club you’re all in.” 
“Oh shut up,” he laughed, “And no. He’s got his Muggle Studies exam.” 
“So you’re mine?!” 
“All yours.” He nodded. She grinned and kissed his cheek. They kept walking, heading 
for the sunshine. 
“I think I mucked up the bit on cockatrices,” Mary mused, “I couldn’t ever take them 
seriously enough to study - I mean for god’s sake, half-dragon, half-chicken?! Fucking 
nonsense. Still, I reckon I passed ok.” 
“I’m sure you did,” Remus said, “You worked hard - we all did.” 
“Worked harder when Ferox was teaching,” Mary grinned. 
“God, me too,” Remus replied casually, causing Mary to burst into giggles. He liked 
shocking her; it was hard to do, most of the time. Mind you, she took everything in her 
stride. No sooner had they turned the last corner than she stopped in her tracks, a look of 
distaste crossing her face. 
“Ugh, it’s Rotherhide.” 
Remus followed her line of vision. They were just at the final archway which led out 
into the grounds. It was a sunny day, if a little bit cool, and after a rainy start to the year 
every student not in lessons or exams was out enjoying the weather. Roman Rotherhide, the 
seventh year Ravenclaw heartthrob, was loitering with a few of his friends just ahead. He 
and Mary and been on and off for years, and judging by the look on her face, they were most 
definitely ‘off’ now. 
“What’s he done?” Remus asked. 
“Nothing, he just annoys me.” She said. “Some days all of them do.” 
“Boys?” 
“Wizards.” 
“Fair enough. Come on, let’s just keep walking.” 
“Snog me!” Mary turned to him, “Go on, it’ll drive him mad. Quick, he’s looking!” 
“Mary!” Remus laughed, veering away from her, “No!” 
“Please!” 
“No!” 
“Ugh, some friend you are,” she grumbled. “Come on, then…” 

551 

“You’re mental.” Remus shook his head, following her. He sighed and slipped his hand 
in hers. “There, will that do?” 

“My hero,” she grinned up at him, squeezing his hand back, swinging it back and forth 
so that Roman was sure to notice. 

They settled underneath a large beech tree near the lake. Remus lay on his back with 
his arms behind his head, watching the boughs creak slowly above, while Mary began to file 
and paint her fingernails. 

Sirius had made Remus promise not to start revising for anything else once his Care of 
Magical Creatures exam was finished, and for once Remus didn’t argue. He was right in the 
sweet spot between full moons where he felt the most healthy and human - plus, lessons 
were finished forever, which meant he had no homework, and everyone was in a good mood 
lately - why lock himself away in the library? 

“God, I can’t wait for it all to be over.” Mary said, “I’ll miss all of you, obviously, but 
I’m d​ one​ with school.” 

“Do you know what you’re doing after?” Remus asked, closing his eyes and staring at 
the bright red veins of his eyelids. 

“Mum wants me to do a typing course, get a ‘proper job’.” 
“You could if you wanted,” Remus mused, “You could charm a typewriter, easy.” 
“Ha, I ought to. That’d show mum. Anyway, I’ll probably get myself up the duff and 
have to get married by the time I’m nineteen, like she did. Then it’s cooking, laundry and 
church for the rest of my life.” 
“What a cheerful thought.” Remus snorted. 
“Lily said you lot were going to help Dumbledore.” Mary said, suddenly. 
Remus opened his eyes and turned his head, squinting up at her. She was wearing a 
pair of white framed cat-eye sunglasses, so he couldn’t see her eyes, but her mouth was 
serious, no longer chirpy. 
“That’s right.” He said. 
“So… what? You’re all going finish school and go and save the world?” 
“Well.” Remus said, steadily, “We’ll start by winning the war, anyway.” 
“Remus, please don’t.” 
He sat up, then, annoyed. 
“Why are you bringing this up?” 
“Because Lily’s lost all sense of reason since she’s been with Potter. Potter and Black 
think they’re untouchable anyway and Peter can’t think for himself. You’re the sensible 
one.” 
“No I’m not.” 
“I just… I think about the attacks at Christmas. Marlene’s brother. The way people are 
looking at each other these days. I’m frightened. It’s going to get worse.” 
“Yes, it is.” He said, his voice hard. “Unless someone stops it.” 

552 

“But why does it have to be you? Any of you?! Let Dumbledore fight, if he’s so 
powerful as everyone says. Why does he need kids to help him?” 

“We’re not ​kids.​ Mary, this isn’t about Dumbledore, or even Voldemort, it’s… it’s about 
the whole wizarding world. The community; making it a place where we can all--” 

“Remus, you’re never going to b​ e​ one of them.” 
“Excuse me?” 
“Look. Do you know why my family ended up in the UK? My grandad fought in the 
war. He got medals and all that crap, ‘the gratitude of the empire’. They said they couldn’t 
have beat Hitler without the soldiers of the commonwealth. You want to know what 
happened to that gratitude when the war was over? When he moved here for a better life? 
Do you know what they c​ alled​ him?” She shook her head angrily. “Things don’t change 
because of stupid heroics. ​People​ don’t change. Even if we win the war, even if that creepy 
Dark Lord bloke is imprisoned, or defeated, or whatever. Potter and Black might get the 
victory parades, but no one’s going to… you’re going to be an outsider forever. Look at the 
way Danny’s been treated.” 
“Mary.” Remus said, his tone very cold now. How had they even got into this? They 
never fought, “I’m not going to discuss this any further.” 
“Don’t be angry with me.” She said, “I’m only trying to--” 
“I know. But I’m not interested.” 
“...Remus, I--” 
“Why don’t we practice some charms? Exam’s in two days.” He stood up, pulling out 
his wand. Mary remained seated on the grass. She looked up at him, lowering her 
sunglasses, her brown eyes reproachful. She pursed her lips, then gave a little shrug. 
“Ok. Just let me finish my nails.” 
 
(Songs: God Save the Queen - The Sex Pistols, Schools Out - Alice Cooper) 
 
 
 
 
 
 

  

553 

ONE HUNDRED & FORTY-EIGHT 

Seventh Year: The Final 

 
Arseholes, bastards, fucking cunts and pricks 
Aerosole the bricks 
A lawless brat from a council flat, oh oh 
A little bit of this, and a little bit of that, oh oh. 
Dirty tricks. 
From the Mile End Road 
To the matchstick Becontree 
Pulling strokes and taking liberties... 

  
Oh fuck. Oh buggering hell​. How on earth had this happened?! How had he let it get this 
far?! Remus’s mouth was dry, his palms damp, and the less said about his insides the better. 
He wished he had Sirius nearby, or even James, to help him calm down. But no one could 
help him now. He was on his own. 
McGonagall turned to him, 
“Ready, Mr Lupin?” 
He swallowed, hard, and nodded. Time to bite the bullet. 
Fuck’s sake​. This was all Christopher’s fault. 

* * * 
The whole mess had started four days earlier. The marauders were in the library 
studying for their very last exam; Arithmancy. Well, Peter didn’t take Arithmancy, but he 
was there anyway; ostensibly for moral support, but mostly to provide sustenance. He’d 
been a godsend to Remus in particular, making hourly trips down to the kitchens and back 
with cauldron cakes, pasties, bacon butties and jam tarts. 
“It’s half eleven,” Sirius yawned, “C’mon, I don’t think my brain can absorb any more 
knowledge tonight.” 
“I didn’t think your brain ever absorbed any---ow!” James winced as Sirius kicked him 
under the table.   
“C’mon,” he repeated, “It’ll be curfew soon, anyway.” 
“We’re with the head boy, I don’t think curfew matters.” Remus replied, scribbling as 
fast as his quill would let him. 
But James had caught Sirius’s yawn. He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes, 
leaning away from the desk. 
“Nah, Padfoot’s right - we’ve been here hours. Let’s call it quits and have a refresher 
session tomorrow?” 
Peter was looking at Remus hopefully, clearly bored out of his mind. Remus frowned 
at all of them. 

554 

“You lot go, if you want, but I‘ll kick myself if I waste any time on this - it’s our last 
exam!” 

“You’re hardly wasting time,” Sirius said, “You’ve been in the library so much this 
term they’re considering putting up a plaque in your honour.” 

“It’s necessary.” Remus said, “I want to beat Snape.” 
“And you will.” Sirius soothed, “Come on, you’re getting black rings under your eyes.” 
“Oh no,” Remus sighed, sarcastically, packing away his papers, “My roguish good 
looks, ruined…” 
“Shut up, you handsome prick.” Sirius elbowed him lightly. 
They gathered the rest of their books, cleaned up the crumbs as best they could, and 
headed for the library exit. There were still plenty of students studying, all in varying states 
of distress. 
“I can’t wait for it all to be over,” Peter whispered, “Imagine! No more homework, 
forever!” 
Remus must have looked stricken at this, because Sirius barked with laughter and 
threw an arm around his shoulders (that was a brotherly gesture, Remus decided, so he 
permitted it in public). 
“You’ll still have deadlines,” James mused, yawning again as they entered the dimly lit 
castle corridors. “If you want to do ministry work. Dad complains about them all the time.” 
“Doubt I’ll ever be as important as your dad,” Peter replied, shoving his hands in his 
pockets. 
“How are the applications going, anyway?” James asked him. 
“Oh. All right. Mum says my step-dad might be able to put in a good word… you know, 
in case I don’t hear back from anywhere.” 
“It won’t be because of you, Wormy,” James said, “They’re making cuts everywhere - 
because of the war. Things are hard all over.” 
“Not for quidditch players.” Peter muttered. 
Sirius shook his head disapprovingly, but said nothing. 
“I’m not going to be a quidditch player,” James said, lightly, “Not until the war’s won.” 
The unspoken thing here, Remus thought, was the fact that James didn’t actually need 
a job, war or no war, talent or no talent. It was the same for Sirius, who was so wealthy he 
never talked about money at all. Though he didn’t agree with the bitterness, Remus 
sympathised with Peter on this; the Pettigrews were firmly middle class, and while he 
would always have a comfortable enough life, he’d be expected to start making money as 
soon as possible. Whereas Remus, who was barely working class even on a good day-- 
He was interrupted from his thoughts by an odd noise up ahead, and stopped in his 
tracks. The others stopped too. 
“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, “Forget something?” 
Remus shook his head, listening. He whispered to his friends, 

555 

“There’s someone around the corner.” He could hear them breathing, but they weren’t 
moving - neither coming nor going, which was extremely suspicious, given the time of 
night. 

“Filch?” James whispered. 
Remus shook his head, 
“I think it’s…” he strode ahead, turning the corner, “Chris!” 
“Oh, hello… um… Remus?” Christopher smiled at him dazedly. 
He wasn’t doing anything. he was just standing there, leaning against the wall, staring 
into space. 
“Are you ok?” 
“Oh yes,” the younger boy nodded again, emphatically, “Very well thanks. Very good. 
Very fine indeed.” 
“Is he… stoned?” Sirius was already at Remus’s side, and was surveying Chris with 
thinly disguised amusement. 
“I don’t think so…” Remus frowned. He reached out and touched Chris’s arm, gently, 
speaking slowly, “Christopher? What are you doing? It’s almost curfew, are you on patrol?” 
“Patrol?” Christopher stared at him blankly, before blinking, then nodding again, 
grinning, “Yes! Yes, that must be it!” 
“He’s confounded.” James said. “Christopher? Has anyone cast a spell on you tonight? 
Or near you, and it backfired?” 
“Maybe he did it to himself,” Wormtail suggested. “I did that once, remember?” 
“No, Chris wouldn’t try to confound someone.” Remus shook his head. “Chris, who 
was the last person you saw?” 
“Hm? Oh er… was it… you?” 
“No,” Remus put his hands on Christopher's shoulders, meeting his eyes and trying to 
hold his attention, “No, not me. Concentrate. Before I got here, what were you doing?” 
“Was I patrolling?” 
“No, I mean… oh, come on, let’s go back to the tower, eh?” Remus kept his hand on 
Christopher's shoulder and began gently but firmly steering him up the corridor, throwing 
anxious looks at the others. 
“Should we tell someone?” Sirius asked James, “Or… I dunno, take him to Madam 
Pomfrey?” 
“I’m not ill!” Christopher piped up, chirpily. 
James ran his hands through his hair, shrugging. 
“I dunno. We’ll ask Lily, she’ll know what to do.” 
Lily did not know what to do. She stood with a hand on her hip and a skeptical look on 
her face, and asked him a few questions, but was as stumped as the rest of them. He sat 
before her, quite happily, in an armchair, smiling back up at her. He didn’t seem to mind 
the interrogation, and while he couldn’t give them any real information, he answered 
everything with cheerful, blank politeness. Giving up, Lily clicked her tongue. 

556 

“I mean, he l​ ooks​ ok… and he doesn’t seem upset… Christopher? Did you get into a 
fight with someone? An argument?” 

“I don’t think so.” Christopher said, thoughtfully, his voice thick and dreamy. He 
yawned. “I think I’ll go to bed, if that’s alright with you lot.” 

Remus, James and Lily all looked at each other helplessly. Then Lily turned to James, 
“Take him up, will you? Just make sure he doesn’t get lost on the way.” 
James nodded, happy to be able to take action, and slapped Christopher on the back, 
“C’mon then, mate, let’s get you to your dorm…” 
Lily, Remus, Sirius and Peter watched them vanish up the staircase. 
“Weird.” Lily said. “And no one else was around?” 
“Not that I saw,” Remus said. “But god knows how long he was standing there.” 
“Well, he was on the rota for patrol this evening,” she said, pulling out her little 
leather bound organiser to check. “I always tell the prefects to go round in pairs, though, so 
he shouldn’t have been alone. He’s usually so reliable. I’ll talk to him in the morning, maybe 
he’ll be a bit sharper then.” 
“Doesn’t look like he came to any harm,” Peter said, offhandedly, flicking through an 
old copy of Quidditch Weekly, “Maybe he was drunk, or stoned or whatever, and he’s just 
trying to cover his tracks.” 
Remus disagreed - it was too wildly out of character. But then, he hadn’t seen much of 
Chris, lately, they’d both been so busy. He remembered bumping into the younger boy in 
Hogsmeade a while ago - he’d been acting strangely then, too, but Remus had just assumed 
he was meeting someone and didn’t want Remus to know who. And if anyone respected 
other people's privacy, it was Remus. 
James returned, saying Chris had seemed fine once he was in his bedroom, and they 
didn’t talk about it much for the rest of the evening. Just one of those things. In a school 
full of adolescents learning to use magic, it wasn’t entirely out of the ordinary for accidents 
to happen. 
Talk soon turned to the upcoming Gryffindor vs. Slytherin quidditch match; the final 
match of the year, and the final game of James and Sirius’s school careers. Remus zoned out 
a bit, letting his three friends work themselves up about it. Secretly he couldn’t wait for it to 
be done with - as much as it made them all happy, and as much as he wanted Gryffindor to 
win, it wasn’t half boring to listen to all the time. He picked up his Arithmancy book and 
returned to his revision, settling into the comfiest armchair. 
“Moony, c’mon, bedtime.” Sirius woke him, half an hour later. Damn. 
Remus blinked, blearily, looking down at his textbook. He’d barely got past the first 
paragraph before falling asleep, his quill still poised between his fingers. 
“Bollocks.” He muttered, closing the book and stretching. 
Sirius chuckled, 
“Told you that was enough for one day.” 

557 

Remus just yawned at him, getting up. The common room had cleared out almost 
completely, now, except for James and Lily, who were ‘saying goodnight’ on the couch. That 
usually took a while, so the other three marauders left them to it, climbing the stairs to bed. 

* * * 
The next morning, Remus was awoken by Sirius - or rather, the absence of Sirius. He 
was just crawling out of bed, and trying to be sneaky about it. 
“Mmm, stay…” Remus reached for him sleepily, trying to pull him back. His hands ran 
over the skin of Sirius’s upper arms. Sirius had fantastic skin, it was so smooth, and 
unblemished everywhere except for the backs of his legs. He kept talking about wanting 
tattoos, a thought which horrified Remus. 
“Sorry, Moony,” Sirius grinned, gently untangling himself, “Big game in two days, got 
to practice.” 
“What time is it?” 
“Just gone five.” 
“Ugh.” Remus flopped back down on the bed, throwing the blankets over his head, 
“You’re all mental.” 
“Yup.” Sirius laughed, “Go back to sleep, I’ll see you later.” 
He left carefully, closing the curtains behind him. Remus rolled into the warm hollow 
Sirius’s body had left behind, inhaled the scent on his pillow, and drifted back to sleep. 
He woke up just in time to catch the last of breakfast, and then returned to the library 
where he met Lily for more Arithmancy study. 
“I’m so tired of numbers!” Lily groaned rubbing her eyes. They were a few hours in 
and it would be lunch soon. 
“I’m going to miss it,” Remus replied, “I like the charts, they’re relaxing.” 
“Well I’m just glad there’s nothing like this in potions.” 
“James said you were looking into a job in an apothecary?” 
“Maybe,” Lily shrugged. “I’d like to do something like that. Maybe research for St 
Mungo’s. Slughorn offered to write recommendations for me. But things will be 
complicated for a while I think. James is optimistic, but…” 
“Yeah.” Remus nodded. “We’ll just have to see.” 
“Shall we go down for lunch?” She closed her book, brushing her hair over one 
shoulder, “The boys’ll be finished soon, we can meet them.” 
Remus’s stomach growled, and he gave in. 
“Go on then.” 
Just as they were getting up to go, the library doors swung open, and Madam Pince 
screeched, “No running!” 
“Lily! Remus! I need your help!” Christopher came charging up to them so fast his legs 
hit their desk, banging all the books forward. 
“What’s wrong?!” Lily asked, her emerald eyes wide. 
“I can’t explain, you just need to see…” 

558 

“See what?” Remus asked, re-ordering his book pile. 
“I’ve… I’ve done something stupid. P​ lease​ just come now?” Chris pleaded. His face was 
red and shiny from running, and while he was definitely looking more alert than he had the 
evening before, he was clearly genuinely upset by something. So they went. 
He led them to the Charms corridor, and the whole way there kept babbling about 
how it had been an accident, and how he hadn’t meant it to happen. Lily kept trying to get 
some sense out of him, but he wouldn’t give them so much as a hint. 
Finally, he stood before the closed Charms classroom door. Professor Flitwick really 
ought to start locking it, Remus thought to himself, as Christopher faced them, pale and 
trembling. He fidgeted with the sleeves of his robes, looking down, 
“Ok… please don’t panic… it was an accident…” 
“Christopher, just show us, will you?!” Snapped Lily, tapping her foot on the flagstone 
floor. 
Christopher jumped at her authoritative tone, usually reserved for students who were 
misbehaving, but he took a deep breath and pushed the door open, ushering them in and 
slamming it shut behind them. 
“What on earth…” Lily breathed, when they saw it. 
What stood before them was an enormous, quivering, glistening blue jelly. It was 
easily the size of Flitwick’s desk, and just stood there in the middle if the classroom, 
translucent and wobbling. Remus stifled a laugh. In seven years at Hogwarts this was 
definitely one of the most ridiculous things he’s ever seen. 
Christopher hung his head, 
“He attacked me, it was self defence!” 
Remus stopped laughing and looked again, 
“That’s a ​person?​ ! Chris! What the fuck?!” 
“Remus, language,” Lily elbowed him. “Christopher, who ​is​ that?” 
“It’s Roy. Guilderoy.” 
“Lockhart??” 
“Am I going to get in trouble?” Chris blinked at them both, his brown eyes huge and 
frightened. 
“What did you… ​how​ did you?!” Lily gaped. 
“It was a jelly legs jinx. I just expanded on it a bit - Remus taught me!” 
Lily glared at Remus, who held his hands up, 
“James taught ​me​! And it never had that result.” 
“But why did you do it, Chris?” Lily asked, still staring. 
“He was going to confound me again!” 
“Wait, what? It was L​ ockhart​?’ 
Christopher nodded, shrinking from Lily’s temper. He was embarrassed, Remus could 
tell. He looked at his feet. 

559 

“He did it the other day, but it backfired, I think I tried to dodge it. Maybe he's done it 
before, I dunno.” 

“But why?” 
“He was… he was worried I was going to tell…” 
“Tell what?!” 
“He was… we… he…” 
“Christopher, for goodness sake!” Lily folded her arms angrily. Remus felt a stab of 
sympathy as Chris’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. 
“Look, Lily, it doesn’t matter now, does It?” He said, turning to her to try and shift 
focus away from Christopher. “We ought to get Lockhart looked at, first…” 
He wasn’t sure how he managed it, but in the end he convinced Lily to go and get 
Madam Pomfrey, while he and Christopher waited with the jellified Lockhart. 
Once she’d gone, Christopher seemed to become even more anxious, 
“I’m going to get expelled!” 
“No, you’re not,” Remus leaned against the wall casually, pulling out his cigarette case. 
He offered one to Chris, who shook his head, fidgeting and worrying the cuffs of his 
sleeves. “James and Sirius have done worse than this.” 
“I’ve never even had a detention before!” 
“Seriously?!” Remus raised his eyebrows as he lit his fag, “Well it's not that bad. You’ll 
survive. So… do you want to tell me what's been going on?” 
Christopher looked at him, his cheeks darkening again. 
“It was just… we just…” 
“I’m guessing this is who you were meeting in Hogsmeade that time?” Remus 
prompted, trying to make it easier. 
Chris looked at his feet again and nodded. 
“Ok,” Remus exhaled smoke. He was surprised, obviously, and more than intrigued, 
but he had to try not to show it if he was going to get any more out if Chris. “So, you met up 
a few times?” Another nod, “And then…” Remus tried to piece it together, “Something went 
wrong? You had a fight?” 
“Sort of, I… um…” 
God, this was excruciating. 
“Look, Chris, I don’t care, ok? He’s a prat who had it coming to him either way, and if 
you and he… well it doesn't matter, does it?” 
“I don’t want you to think I’m stupid, or… or naive or something. I didn’t even ​fancy 
him that much, I swear, it was just… just kissing, and I just... you know, he showed an 
interest, and I thought - well, this might be my only chance.” 
“Oh…” Remus’s heart went out to him. He touched his shoulder, gripping it in what he 
hoped was a comforting gesture. “Of course it's not your only chance. People don’t get just 
one​ chance…” 

560 

“Well, whatever.” Chris said, looking at the space just over Remus’s shoulder, but 
deliberately not at Remus. “I suppose it has a lot to do with luck. Anyway, he was a prick. 
Turned out all he really wanted was to find out about the prank thing. He thought ​you​ and ​I 
were… he thought I could give him inside information.” 

“Well you could,” Remus replied, “You did half the working out with me, you know 
more than Sirius knows.” 

“I didn’t,” Chris said, “I didn’t tell him anything.” 
“Good. Knew you wouldn’t.” 
Chris smiled at that, and met Remus’s eye properly for the first time. 
“I told him to keep his nose out. He got annoyed and called me something horrible. 
Then ​I​ got angry, and I told him I was going to tell everyone what we’d been up to, and he 
must have panicked.” 
Chris sighed heavily. “I ​wouldn't​ have said anything, I swear. I wouldn’t be that nasty. I 
was angry, that's all.” 
“I know mate,” Remus reassured him. “So he tried to confound you so you wouldn’t 
tell anyone?” 
Chris nodded. 
“All I can think is that I must have tried to deflect it somehow, which weakened it. 
Probably why I was acting so strangely yesterday.” 
“And this…” Remus gestured at the Lockhart-jelly. 
“When I woke up this morning a bit more if my memory had come back. I realised 
what he’d done and came to confront him. I… er… I lost my temper a bit.” 
“Well.” Remus snubbed out his cigarette, “I’m not going to have a go at you for that.” 
Lily was another matter. She returned with Madam Pomfrey and Professor 
McGonagall. By then, Remus had already decided what he was going to do. 
“Will one of you boys please explain what happened here?” Their head of year said, 
her eyes silvery and sharp. Remus was slightly taller than her now, but somehow 
McGonagall always seemed larger than life, especially when she was about to tell you off. 
“No idea.” Remus said, promptly, ignoring Lily’s look of horror behind McGonagall’s 
shoulder. “Chris just found him like this, didn’t you, Chris?” 
Christopher looked desperately at Remus, then McGonagall, his mouth opening and 
closing like a fish. Finally he just nodded. 
“Really, Mr Lupin?” McGonagall raised one dark eyebrow. 
“Yep.” He nodded, hands in his pockets, trying to look casual. 
“Mr Barley simply happened upon Mr Lockhart already in this,” she gestured at the 
enormous jelly, which Madam Pomfrey was now circling, slowly, muttering under her 
breath, “...altered state?” 
“Yep.” Remus nodded, firmly. He’d have liked another fag, but wasn’t t​ hat​ brazen. 
“Then please explain,” McGonagall’s lips curled at the corners, “How Mr Barley knew 
that this was Mr Lockhart at all?” 

561 

“Um.” Remus glanced back at the big blue blob. “Well. Looks like him, doesn’t it?” 
“This won’t take long, Minerva,” Madam Pomfrey said, cheerfully, “No long-term 
harm done, but he’ll be out of action for a few days.” She began waving her wand and 
murmuring incantations. 
“I take attacks on students very seriously, nonetheless,” McGonagall replied. “One 
weeks detention, Mr Barley. And as for you, Mr Lupin, as this is your last month at school, I 
don’t see that detention will be very effective.” 
This was not a relief, to Remus. She was still smiling, which meant she knew exactly 
how best to punish him, and he wasn’t going to like it. 
“Give me detention if you want!” He said, quickly. 
McGonagall chuckled, shaking her head. 
“No, I think I have just the thing. With Mr Lockhart out of commission, I believe we 
have a vacancy for quidditch commentator.” 
Remus practically felt the colour drain out of his face. The woman was clearly an evil 
mastermind. Anything but that. Over McGonagall’s shoulder, Lily grinned. 

* * * 
James and Sirius thought the whole thing was hilarious, of course, after they’d 
finished cursing Lockhart’s name. They loved the idea of Remus - who knew about as much 
about quidditch as he knew about football, or quantum physics - having to commentate 
their final match. 
“I just won’t do it.” Remus kept saying. “I’ll just sit there with my mouth shut, there’s 
nothing they can do.” 
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Sirius nudged him, “You need to sing our praises!” 
“It’s really just about following the quaffle,” James said, “If you can keep your eye on 
that, you’ll be fine.” 
“Oi, spare a thought for the beaters!” Marlene called. 
“And the keeper!” Yasmine added. 
Peter was less encouraging, and spent the rest of the evening sulking in the corner, 
brooding over his chess set. 
“I’m sorry, Pete,” Remus tried him, after hours of silent treatment, “I know you’d have 
liked to do it, but remember this is a punishment for me.” 
“I’d have been really good at it, too.” Peter muttered, arms folded tight over his chest. 
“I know everything about the team, you haven’t even watched any of the practices.” 
“I know, you’d have been amazing,” Remus assured him. “Will you help me?” 
“Help?” Peter looked up, cautiously, “Help how?” 
“Get me up to speed,” Remus encouraged, “Give me y​ our​ notes, for once.” 
“Yeah… yeah, I suppose I could do that.” 
“I’ll even ask McGonagall if you can sit with me in the commentator's box,” Remus 
said, “So if I balls it up then you can set me right again.” 

562 

“Ok!” Peter nodded, enthusiastic, now. “Yeah, you’ll need to know loads… I’ll start 
right now, Moony, I won’t let you down!” 

In the end, Peter produced more notes on the 1978 Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Final than 
he had ever written for any of his lessons. There were reams and reams of parchment with 
labelled diagrams, lists of players and their numbers, flying formations and a detailed 
explanation of what seemed to be the quidditch equivalent of the offside rule. He’d even 
written a little script of phrases Remus could use if he got stuck. 

So, even after Remus’s arithmancy exam was over (he was pretty confident he’d done a 
perfect job on that, it had been a piece of cake), he now had another test to study for. 

Still, nothing could prepare him for how it felt, now, sitting in a tower high above the 
pitch, a seat of red and green robed students beneath him, waiting for him to speak. 

He felt queasy, and wished he hadn’t eaten such a large breakfast. He’d also had a shot 
of firewhisky (courtesy of James) and half a joint with Mary before the game started, hoping 
that might calm his nerves. Unfortunately it seemed to have had the opposite effect, and 
Sirius’s extremely unhelpful advice to ‘picture everyone in their underwear’ had got stuck in 
his head, so now Remus didn’t know where to look. 

“Mr Lupin,” McGonagall said again, “Are you ready?” 
Remus looked down at Peter’s notes, shuffling them. He swallowed and nodded. 
Peter had very neat handwriting, nice and round, but Remus’s head was a bit foggy 
now - the whisky had sharpened him up at first, but that combined with the spliff was 
making him feel a bit dopey and warm. He pinched the inside of his wrist for some clarity. 
“Mr Lupin,” McGonagall whispered, pushing the microphone towards him. “The 
players are on the pitch.” 
“Oh! Sorry!” He blinked, startled, peering down at the grass below and clearing his 
throat. He read carefully from the parchment in front of him, “Hello… er, I mean… welcome, 
everyone, to the Hogwarts Quidditch cup final, 1978…” 
His voice sounded weird, echoing out across the oval stadium, but he could hear 
cheers go up as he spoke, which gave him a bit of courage. He glanced at McGonagall, who 
smiled and nodded encouragingly. Remus returned his focus to the ground below, and tried 
to give a bit of commentary. 
“Right, um. So, here we go… the teams are on the pitch. That’s Gryffindor in red - 
Captain James Potter, and Slytherin in green - Captain Kerensa Smythe. Um… I mean not a 
lot to say, really, until they’re all up…” He looked down at Peter’s notes again: ‘i​ ntroduce 
players and their strengths’​ , “Oh ok, so the players… well obviously James. He’s the chaser… 
he’s pretty good, I’m told. I mean, he’s the one who ​told​ me…” 
A smatter of laughter from the crowd. Remus grinned, then swallowed again and 
continued. 
“Um. Gryffindor keeper, Yasmin Patel, also very good, I suppose, I mean as far as I 
know, I’m no expert… Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon, beaters - good beaters… I mean, 
the whole team’s really good, let’s just say that.” 

563 

He heard Peter groan, sitting behind him, and a titter of laughter from the crowd. 
McGonagall was giving him a cynical look, but all he could do was shrug helplessly at her 
and list off the Slytherin players with equal ineptitude. 

(He did, however, take great pleasure in announcing ‘Slytherin seeker, Reggie Black,’ - 
he was sure he saw Regulus’s shoulders cringe at that.) 

“Oh great, looks like they’re about to start,” Remus continued, settling into it now, 
“Yep, there goes the whistle, and - no surprises here - Potter is in possession of the quaffle. 
Blimey, he’s fast, look at him go! Aaaand it’s a goal! Ten - nil to Gryffindor! Nice one, 
Prongs!” 

The crowd cheered and James zoomed across the pitch, arms raised high in victory. He 
threw a thumbs up at Remus as he flew past the commentator’s tower, then high-fived 
Sirius mid-air, before returning his focus to the game. 

This wasn’t so bad, Remus thought; all he really had to do was watch what happened 
and then just say it out loud. An idiot could do it. 

“Slytherin now in possession of the quaffle… er… I t​ hink​ it’s Timothy Bulstrode… yep, 
ok… hm, not as fast as James, is he? Never mind, he’s nearly there - argh! No, blocked by a 
bludger there from McKinnon, well done Marlene, that looked like it hurt!” 

“Mr Lupin, a little less bias, if you please.” 
“Sorry, professor… ok, so, Potter back in possession, he passes ito to Eriksson… 
Eriksson’s really flying, she’s almost --- oh bugger. Slytherin back in possession.” 
“ L​ anguage​, Mr Lupin!” 
“Sorry! Bulstrode heading for the goal posts now… oh come on, even I​ ’m​ faster than 
that… he shoots, and --- BLOCKED by Gryffindor keeper Patel! See, told you she was good!” 
Cheers went up from one side of the crowd, boos from another. Yaz did a victory loop, 
beaming, and Sirius flew past the commentators box, grinning at Remus as he did so. 
Remus had to admit, quidditch was more exciting that he remembered. 
“Eriksson back in possession of the quaffle now, passes it to Potter, Potter’s charging 
up the pitch - see, Bulstrode?! ​That’s​ how you bloody fly---sorry professor--GOAL! Twenty - 
nil to Gryffindor!” 
“Regulus!” Peter squeaked behind Remus, his finger pointing over Remus’s shoulder 
at the green-robed younger Black brother, who was now flying very fast indeed, a look of 
concentration on his face as he zoomed towards an empty square of sky. 
“Looks like Slytherin seeker Black might have seen the snitch,” Remus said, hurriedly 
into the microphone, hoping that the Gryffindor seeker was listening. “Yep, he’s definitely 
seen something, he’s speeding up, he’s--- ah, bad luck, blocked by a bludger there from 
Gryffindor beater, Black.” 
Remus grinned, and could have sworn Sirius threw him a wink from across the pitch. 
Regulus, who’d had to brake and dive very suddenly, looked furious, as did the rest of the 
Slytherin team. Things turned quite nasty after that - both in the game and Remus’s 
commentary. 

564 

“Eriksson has the quaffle again, is she going to pass to Potter…? No, looks like she’s 
going to try for a goal herself - COME ON, ERIKSSON! OH FU--I mean, ​FLIPPING​ HELL! 
That was uncalled for! Eriksson hit by a bludger from Avery - Slytherin, and Knott now has 
possession. Eriksson looks dazed… is she… no, that’s a thumbs up, good girl!” 

“Mr Lupin, the match, if you please…” 
“Right, so Knott has the quaffle… he shoots… ten points to Slytherin - but it’s still 
Gryffindor’s game! Potter has the quaffle, he’s flying… he’s nearly there, he’s -- SHIT, 
WATCH OUT, JAMES!” 
Kerensa Smythe, the Slytherin beater was flying at full speed directly into James’s side, 
and was knocked out of the way in the last few seconds by Marlene, who full-body slammed 
right into the Slytherin Captain. 
“Bloody hell!” Remus yelled, “Nicely done, McKinnon! That girl is brutal - oh, come 
on,​ Hooch, that’s got to be a penalty to Gryffindor, get off your arse and referee the sodding 
match! Uh oh, looks like little Reggie Black has his eye on the snitch again...” 

“Mr Lupin!” McGonagall snapped again, “I shall take the microphone away.” 
“Be my guest,” he offered, grinning at her. She shook her head, tutting. Remus 
returned to the game, “So we’re now - what is it? Oh right, sixty - twenty to Gryffindor - 
just goes to show that cheating isn’t going to pay off - I hope you’re listening, Black - I 
mean the y​ ounger​ Black, obviously--” 
“Remus!” Peter hissed behind him. “Calm down! You’re supposed to be giving a 
balanced-- Oh Merlin!” 
“Buggering ​Christ,​ that was close!” Remus yelled, as Regulus and the Gryffindor seeker 
both reach for the snitch as the same time, only for it to dart tantalisingly out of reach, 
sending both players careering into the stands, Regulus pulling up just a bit quicker than 
the Gryffindor seeker, but both of them miraculously staying on their brooms. 

“Remus!” Peter whispered again, “Slytherin just scored--” 
“They what? they - shit, sorry, folks! Slytherin scored again, must have missed that 
one…” 
Remus apologised to the baying crowd, half of them laughing, the other half now 
booing h​ im.​  
“Won’t happen again!” He assured them cheerily, “Right, Potter back in pursuit of the 
quaffle, dodges a bludger from Avery there - jesus, this game is violent - Black - the good 
one - catches up with the bludger and aims it at… yes, Regulus Black once again has to 
dodge. Lucky he’s so used to weaseling his way out of trouble, eh--” 
“Detention, Lupin,” McGonagall was muttering, “You’ll be in detention for the rest of 
your school career.” 
“FUCK ME!” Remus yelled into the microphone, as Sirius and Marlene both fired 
bludgers at the Slytherin beater tailing Regulus, forcing her to swoop so low she almost hit 
the ground. 
“Completely mental!” Remus gaped, “I seriously have no idea why anyone plays this -- 
ah, but fairplay, it’s distracted Regulus enough to… wait… Yes! YES! BLOODY YES! 

565 

THAT’S GRYFFINDOR WITH THE SNITCH! WE BLOODY WON! OH MY GOD, 
THANK FUCK FOR THAT, I REALLY--” 

“That’s e​ nough!​ ” McGonagall snatched the microphone from him, finally. 
He grinned at her again, too elated with the victory to care much about getting in 
trouble. Peter was jumping up and down behind him, too, which didn’t help. 
“Sorry…” he started. 
“I am absolutely shocked,” McGonagall said, sternly. “I expect this kind of behaviour 
from Black, but I don’t expect it from a former prefect! I expect a letter of apology to the 
Slytherin team, a​ nd​ to Madam Hooch.” 
“Yes, professor.” Remus hung his head and tried to look sorry, but he couldn’t help his 
lips twitching a bit. he couldn’t wait to see Sirius. He’d run all the way to the changing 
rooms if his hip (and inhibitions) would let him. 
Fortunately, if there was anything McGonagall loved better than enforcing school 
rules, it was Gryffindor winning at quidditch. 
“After the celebrations have finished, of course.” She said. 
“Thanks, professor!” Remus looked up, beaming again. 
“Honestly,” she laughed, shaking her head, “You’ve never reminded me more of Lyall.” 
Compliment or insult, Remus didn’t care. For once, even a mention of his father 
couldn’t touch Remus’s good mood. 
 
(Song: Plaistow Patricia - Ian Dury and the Blockheads) 
 
 
 
 
 

  

566 

ONE HUNDRED & FORTY-NINE 

Seventh Year: Legacy (Part 1) 

 
And as we wind on down the road, 
Our shadows taller than our souls... 

  
“You could nick it, bet it wouldn’t be hard.” Sirius said, standing beside Remus in 
front of the trophy case. “Just vanish the glass for a second.” 
“Professor Flitwick would notice.” Remus raised an eyebrow, distracted now by 
Sirius’s ghostly reflection in the glass. “Or one of the Ravenclaws.” 
“Nah,” the other boy caught his eye and grinned at him, teeth pearly white, “No one’ll 
miss it.” 
“I think,” Remus replied, licking his lips and returning his gaze to the little gold figure 
on top of the trophy, “Lyall would have preferred it to stay put. This way there’s always a 
piece of him at Hogwarts.” 
“Ahh, have you gone all soppy because it’s the last week?” Sirius teased him. Remus 
smiled, unperturbed, 
“Yeah, a bit.” 
Sirius chuckled, and leaned towards him confidentially, 
“Me too.” 
Remus pulled a face at him. “Come on then, I’m hungry. Lunch.” 
They both set off down the corridor towards the Great Hall. Aside from Remus’s 
streak of detentions following the quidditch final, they’d all had a very relaxing week, with 
nothing to do but plan for the future. Which of course meant that they had done absolutely 
no planning for the future. 
“We’re not leaving anything behind.” Remus said, thoughtfully, as they walked. 
“Eh?” Sirius asked, distracted by a group of girls who’d walked past, giggling. Remus 
flicked his ear. “Ow!” Sirius ducked, “They were looking at you , Remus ‘f​ uck-me-we-won’​  
Lupin. What were you saying?” 
“We won’t be leaving anything behind, like Lyall’s trophy.” 
“James and I are on the quidditch cup. And Prongs is Head Boy, doesn’t that get 
recorded somewhere? And Peter won that chess tournament.” 
“Oh yeah. Must just be me, then.” Remus sighed, forlorn. 
“Er… there’s the whomping willow?” Sirius tried. 
Remus just scowled at him. ​Well​, he supposed. T​ hat’s what you get for trying not to be 
noticed​. He remained contemplative throughout lunch - which was fish and chips, with a 
choice of mushy or whole peas (Remus experimented with a combination of both). 
“All right there, Moony?” James asked, between mouthfuls. “You’re very quiet.” 
“He’s worrying about his legacy,” Sirius announced. “He wants a trophy.” 

567 

“Shut up, no I don’t.” Remus blushed. 
“If you ask me, that match commentary deserved a medal. Special services to the 
school,” Mary laughed. “You can’t go anywhere in the castle without hearing someone 
shout ‘​buggering christ, that was close!​’ It’s brilliant.” 
Remus grinned, feeling a bit better. He’d been quietly enjoying his fifteen minutes of 
fame, and had received enough gifts of cigarettes and chocolate to see him through the 
summer. Which was just as well, he supposed, because in a few short months he’d have to 
start supporting himself. 
“Don’t worry, Remu, if y​ ou know what​ goes off without a hitch on Friday,” James 
whispered, leaning in, “Then no one’ll forget us in a hurry.” 
“I thought the point was that no one knew who did it?” Remus quirked an eyebrow. 
“Oh, come ​on​.” Lily scoffed. And she had a point. 
Still, Remus couldn’t help but be a bit troubled. He didn’t want his only monument to 
be the whomping willow, or that godforsaken shack. 
“How do ghosts happen?” He asked, thoughtfully, watching Nearly Headless Nick 
drift by, chatting with the Fat Friar.   
“Merlin, Moony, cheer the fuck up,” Sirius groaned, mouth full of chips, “You’d have 
to be dead to become a ghost. And I s’pose you’d have to die ​here​, too, on school grounds.” 
Remus shrugged. Dying at Hogwarts didn’t seem very likely, unless something dire 
was going to happen in the next few days. 
“A portrait, then.” He said. “...Actually, no. I don’t want to be able to talk to myself, 
that’s creepy.” 
“They’re really expensive, too,” James said, “Our family never bothered.” 
“Typical Potters,” Sirius said, haughtily. His plate now clean, he set the knife and fork 
neatly at its centre, and it soon vanished. “Of course the Blacks are all preserved for 
posterity in the family gallery.” 
“Even you?” Remus glanced at him, 
“Not me.” Sirius shook his head with a small smile, “I wasn’t there when I came of 
age. I expect Reggie’s been done now, though. More fool him.” 
“Remus!” Marlene came running up to the dining table. She looked flushed and 
excited. 
“Yeah?” Remus sat up straight, looking up at her expectantly. 
“Can I see you for a minute? I’ve got something for you!” She was hopping from foot 
to foot, clearly very eager to tell him something. 
“Er… ok…” Remus glanced around nervously. He didn’t like surprises, but he trusted 
Marlene for now, and she seemed so happy. 
“Come with me,” she grabbed his hand and pulled him up. 
“Should I…?” Sirius started, but Marlene shook her head, 
“It’s private! Come on, Remus!” She practically dragged him from the hall, apparently 
not caring that he would miss pudding now. 

568 

“Ugh, slow down, will you,” he panted, feeling his hip click as they began to traverse 
the first flight of stairs. 

“Sorry, I’m just so excited to show you!” 

“Show me what?!” 

“It’s private!” 
He sighed, and just focussed on trying to keep up with her. Sometimes Remus felt he 
spent his whole life being dragged around this castle by people who were more athletic 
than him. When they reached Gryffindor common room Remus looked at her expectantly, 
and she suddenly turned shy, chewing her thumbnail. 

“What?” He said, “Not private enough?!” He gestured about the empty room - 
everyone else was at dinner, probably enjoying their pudding. Hadn’t had apple crumble in 
ages, it would be just Remus’s luck if they were serving it today and he missed out. 

“I think we’d better go up to your dorm.” Marlene said, setting off again. “Just in 
case.” 

“Jesus Christ, Marls, what’s this all about?” Remus followed her up the stairs, 
“Oh, I’ve suddenly decided I fancy blokes, so I’ve lured you up here to seduce you,” she 
casually threw over her shoulder. 

“You spend too much time with Mary.” He returned dryly. 
Once they were in the bedroom, she closed the door, and Remus went to sit on his bed, 
his legs sore. She looked around furtively, 

“Why are there only three beds in here?” 

“Acceptance testing for the prank went a bit wrong.” Remus shrugged. 
Marlene just shook her head like an overindulgent mother. She reached into the 
pocket of her robes and pulled out a small shallow jar, and held it out to Remus. 

“Trousers off,” she said. 

“Excuse me?!” 
“It’s for your hip!” She unscrewed the jar excitedly, her eyes bright and eager, “I made 
it for you, and Danny tested it and everything!” 
“What… what does it do?” He peered into the pot warily. Whatever was inside looked 
like vaseline, semi-transparent with a thick, goopy consistency.   
“I thought about what you said about how a mixture of muggle and magical medicine 
works best,” she explained, “So I did some experimenting. I tried valerian and comfrey and 
turmeric… turned out that ginger worked the best, who would have thought? Then just 
combined it with the right amount of anti-inflammatory poultice, and some dittany for 
extra strength. Go on! Rub it on!” 
“Er. Ok…” Remus said, taking the jar and walking into the bathroom, locking the door 
behind him. He held it in his hands for a while, sniffing the contents. It smelt like ginger, 
which was fairly pleasant, and not too strong. 
“You shouldn’t need too much,” Marlene called through the door, making him jump 
and retreat as far into the bathroom as he could. “Just smooth it onto the skin over the sore 
area.” 

569 

“Ok,” he replied, croakily. This was weird. But he owed to it Marlene to try, if this was 
a peace offering. 

He unbuckled his trousers and pulled them down to his thigh, underwear and all. 
Then, balancing the jar carefully on the side of the bath, he scooped out a small dollop of 
the concoction - about the size of a grape - with his fingers, and carefully rubbed it onto his 
bare skin. 

It was tingly at first, and then began to grow warm - but not unpleasantly so. He could 
feel it seeping into his skin, down into the joins and gristle and bone, warming and 
soothing as it went. It was a feeling he’d long forgotten. It was relief. 

“Marlene!” He shouted. 
“What?! Are you ok?!” She called anxiously. 
“If you still want to seduce me,” he replied, “I’d probably do anything you asked me to 
right now.” 
He heard her sniggering on the other side of the door, 
“It works, then?” 
“It’s a bloody miracle!” 
“It’s bloody magic, you silly git,” she replied. “Come out, then!” 
He hurriedly pulled his trousers back up and fastened them, striding over to the door 
and opening it. Not so much as a twinge. 
His hip had bothered him for so long now he could barely remember what it felt like 
to walk without being conscious of his limitations. He beamed at Marlene, grabbed her 
around the waist and spun her around. 
“Thank you!” He said, over and over. 
She squealed, 
“Lupin you lunatic, let me go!” 
He kissed her on the cheek and put her down. 
“You’re a lot stronger than you look,” she laughed, blushing, tucking her hair back 
behind her ear, “Oh, I’m so glad it worked! I wanted to ask Madam Pomfrey to help so 
many times, but I thought you’d rather I kept it to myself.” 
“Thank you,” he said again. “You’re… you’re amazing! I wish I had some way to pay 
you back!” 
“You have,” she shook her head, “You helped Danny, even though you’ve never met 
him, and you knew how dangerous it was. And… you helped me, in the end, too. I know 
what I want to do now. We’re going to win this war, and when it’s over I’m going to start 
doing some proper research into lycanthropy, you know, set up ​real​ clinics so people get the 
help they need. If everyone else can see what I see in you and my brother, then maybe… I 
dunno, maybe things can be better.” 
She was looking at her feet bashfully as she said this, but Remus couldn’t stop 
grinning, shifting from foot to foot just to prove to himself it didn’t hurt. ​Nothing hurt.​ He 
had to tell Sirius. 

570 

“You’re going to be an incredible healer, Marls,” he hugged her again. “Can I keep 
this?” He went back to the bathroom for the jar, holding it up. 

“Of course you can!” She nodded vigorously, “I don’t know how long the effects last… 
if you wouldn’t mind making a note of it, each time you reapply? It’ll be useful to know…” 

“Yeah, yeah, anything,” he replied, carefully screwing the cap back on. 
“I’d better go and find Yaz - she’s got no idea where I’ve been all day, I told her it was 
to do with the prank, but I don’t think she believes me...” 
“They’re down in the common room, the lot of them, they just got back from dinner,” 
Remus replied offhandedly, still staring at the jar in awe. 
“How on earth could you know that?” 
“Er…” he glanced up, awkwardly… “Good sense of smell… like r​ eally​ good.” 
Her eyes widened, and she shook her head solemnly, 
“I’ve got so much to learn…” 
“Come on,” he laughed, patting her shoulder, “One thing at a time…” 

* * * 
Sirius was a true gentleman when Remus told him the good news about Marlene’s 
poultice, and did not say ‘I told you so’ even once. He was too happy listening to Remus 
babble about how much better he felt. 
“I don’t know what I ever did.” Remus sighed after they’d gone to bed later that night. 
“What d’you mean?” Sirius yawned. 
“You know. You learnt ​lenticular magna​ for me, all the way back in first year. And Lily 
made me that reading aid, and you, Peter and Prongs all became animagi, just so you could 
spend time with me.” 
“What’s your point?” 
“I don’t know what I did,” Remus replied, shrugging, “To earn any of it.” 
“Moony,” Sirius gave him a funny look. “You’re doing that thing again.” 
“Eh?” 
“We’re your friends! Friends help each other! As if you haven’t done things for Lily, 
and Marlene, and Wormtail, and James, and me… merlin, m​ e​ more than anyone.” 
“I know,” Remus replied, still smiling, “I know. I suppose I just feel so lucky.” 
“You ​are​ soppy these days,” Sirius smirked, folding his arms behind his head. “Is this 
what it’s going to be like living with you? And I always thought you were such a tough nut.” 
“Still tougher than you.” Remus glanced at him sideways. 
Sirius’s eyes were closed, but he was smiling. Now seemed as good a time as any. 
“Do you really want to live with me?” Remus asked. 
“‘Course I do,” Sirius replied, eyes still closed. 
“I mean… not just with James’s parents. In our own place.” 
Sirius opened his eyes, 
“Obviously. That’s the plan, isn’t it?” 

571 

“I…” Remus fumbled for the right words. He was very comfortable around Sirius now, 
feeling he could say almost anything. But sometimes it was the same old struggle. “I wasn’t 
sure. You know I haven’t got much money…” 

“And you know I’m rolling in it,” Sirius shrugged, making the bedsheets crinkle. 
“What’s mine is yours, I don’t want you worrying about boring crap like that.” 

“It’s only boring to you because you’ve never had to think about it.” 
“Well now you don’t have to think about it either. Got it?” 
“Ok.” Remus nodded. Something to revisit later, maybe, when there wasn’t a war 
looming, and they could have conversations about normal, everyday things. For now, if they 
weren’t talking about the war, Sirius preferred daydreams. Remus settled back, “Where 
shall we live, then?” 
“London.” Sirius said, firmly. “Muggle London.” 
“In a big house?” 
“No.” Sirius shook his head, frowning a bit, “I don’t like big houses; too many empty 
rooms. If it’s just two of us, we don’t need all that space.” 
This was a remarkably sensible consideration, but Remus didn’t say anything. He 
understood. But if they were being sensible… 
“I want you to meet Hope.” He said. Sirius opened his eyes again, 
“What?” 
“She’s dying,” Remus said, matter of factly, “Lung cancer - a thing muggles get. 
Anyway, it can’t be cured, and I don’t think she has more than a year.” 
“Moony, I’m sorry… I had no idea.” 
“S’ok,” Remus replied, “I’ve known since the first time I met her. I’ve known I 
wouldn’t have long. She’s not perfect, but she cares about me. I want her to see that I have 
someone. That I’m not alone.” 
“Moony…” 
“I know, I know,” Remus laughed, “I’m being soppy…” 
“No,” Sirius reached over and laid his hand softly on Remus’s chest. “That’s just one of 
the nicest things I’ve ever heard.” 
Remus turned his head too, and they looked at each other for a bit, both smiling in the 
shadowy darkness of the quiet night. When his eyes began to prick, Remus laughed again, 
looking away, 
“Christ,” he said, “Listen to us, we’re worse than Potter and Evans.” 
“Don’t tell anyone!” Sirius laughed, wiping his eyes quickly. “Only three days of school 
left, we’ve got reputations to maintain.” 
 
(Song: Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin) 

  

572 

ONE HUNDRED & FIFTY 

Seventh Year: Legacy (Part 2) 

 
So here we are... 
With freedom within our sweaty, greedy, grasps. 
So remember this, boys and girls, 
When your freedom comes along... 
Don't 
Pish 
in the water supply, 
Just because... school is out for the summer… 

  
“We got lucky with the weather,” Remus commented, gazing up at the clear blue sky. 
“Would have been a nightmare getting them all outside if it was raining.” 
He was not going to miss Scottish ‘summers’. 
He and Christopher were alone in the owlery, waiting. It would begin any moment. 
“Don’t make fun of me, ok?” Christopher whispered, looking down at the grounds 
from the high open windows, “But this is the most exciting thing I’ve ever done.” 
Remus smiled at him fondly, and gave his hand a quick squeeze. 
“I bet you this is just the beginning. You’re going to do so many exciting things, I 
know it.” 
“I dunno, it’s going to be quiet with you lot gone,” Chris replied, peering down at the 
lawn below them, “I bet they make Regulus head boy… ooh! That’s the signal!” 
A fountain of golden sparks shot up from behind the greenhouses, and Remus could 
hear Christopher’s heart begin to beat faster with the excitement. 
“Let’s do it, then!” Remus elbowed him. 
They both turned to look at the owls, hundreds of them perched in rows lining the 
tower walls, all the way up into the rafters. Beside them was a pile of letters - all blank 
except for the address. And they all had the same address. 
Chris looked like he was ready to burst with the thrill of it all, and Remus stepped 
back, giving him the floor, 
“You know the spell, you do it.” 
“Really?!” 
“Yeah,” Remus grinned, “Plenty of mischief to go around after this…” 
“Ok!” He rolled up his sleeves, licking his lips. He uttered the incantation and swept 
his wand broadly around the tower. A low hoot, a ruffling of feathers, and then… utter chaos 
as all five hundred owls suddenly leapt from their perches and swooped down towards the 
two boys, who both ducked for cover. 

573 

Remus had never seen anything so magnificent; every single owl in Hogwarts spread 
its wings and soared out of the window, each one snatching a blank addressed letter as it 
passed. It must have taken two full minutes for them all to manage it, and when it was over, 
Remus and Christopher jumped at the window to watch them disappear down towards the 
courtyard, through the arches and on to their destination. 

“Wow!” Chris kept saying, like a yappy little dog, “Wow wow wow!” 
Remus just grinned, and thought about James and Sirius elsewhere in the castle, 
watching for that signal. And Mary, Marlene and Yaz, poised and ready for their own part, 
and everyone else in the castle waiting, waiting for the thing they had been planning since 
Christmas. 

“Let’s go!” Remus said, grabbing Chris’s arm, “We can watch them all running out.” 
If five hundred owls suddenly flocking to the dungeons didn’t get everyone out, then 
Remus was confident that James and Sirius’s patented exploding toilet seats would do the 
job. 
They ran down the spiral staircase together (Remus taking the steps two at a time, still 
relishing his newfound mobility) and onto the main corridor, where pandemonium reigned 
supreme. 
Every portrait was singing at the top of its lungs - from muggle pop songs to wizard 
nursery rhymes, whatever the third years had fancied when they cast the spell, Remus 
assumed. The suits of armour had left their posts and taken to following students around. 
Remus hoped that wasn’t too menacing - they weren’t actually d​ oing​ anything, after all, just 
mimicking movements. It had been James’s idea - king of locomotion spells. 
“I did it, Remus, I did it!” A fourth year Ravenclaw came running out of the nearest 
bathroom, followed by a mass of pink bubbles, “Blew it right up!” 

“Well done!” Remus clapped him on the back, congratulating him. 

“I can’t wait for the big finish!” 

“Better hurry,” Remus advised, “Won’t be long.” 
The fourth year nodded and set off towards the grounds, pink foam flooding out into 
the hall. 
“You’ve taught so many people things they never would have learnt,” Christopher 
marvelled as they walked. The big clock outside the Great hall was whirling madly, hands 
spinning - so was every other clock, if the sixth years’ spell had worked correctly. 

“Oh yeah,” Remus snorted, “Blowing up toilets and levitating desks. Very useful.” 
“Don’t forget all the defensive stuff,” Christopher frowned, “I’d have been confounded 
again if not for you.” 
They followed the steady stream of students exiting the building. Remus just hoped 
they’d caused enough mayhem in enough areas of the castle to get everyone outside onto 
the lawn. It wouldn’t be any fun if half the school missed the main event. 
“How is Lockhart?” He asked, casually. 

“Fine, I think. Leaving me alone, anyway.” 

“Good. S’pose you can handle him if he doesn’t.” 

574 

“Yeah.” They’d reached the courtyard now, and were within sight of the grounds. 
Christopher squinted in the bright summer sunshine and looked up at Remus, stopping a 
moment. “I’ll really miss you, though.” 

“You’re only here one more year,” Remus replied, “You’ll be too busy with NEWTs to 
think about anything else; trust me.” 

“No, I’m still going to miss you.” Chris said, firmly. “I’ll keep the study group going - 
but it won’t be the same. Everyone likes you so much, you’re patient with them.” 

Remus didn’t know how to respond to that, so he didn’t. There was a funny lump in 
his throat, all the same. 

“C’mon,” he pulled Christopher’s arm, moving towards the grounds. “Don’t want to 
miss it!” 

More than half the school had gathered on Hogwarts’ expansive lawn, all chattering a 
mile a minute about the various interruptions and intrusions to their mornings. 

“Did you see all those owls?” 

“The Great Hall is flooded! ​Flooded​!” 
“The Ravenclaw door-knocker is speaking gobbledygook, apparently, won’t let anyone 
in.” 

“The statue of the knight on the fifth floor threw water balloons at me!” 

“Marauders, do you reckon?” 

“Definitely.” 
“No! I saw Emmeline Vance casting a spell on the portraits - and a group of sixth years 
planting dung bombs. It can’t be the marauders.” 

“Well it can’t be ​everyone-​ - ” 
The conjecture was interrupted as the last of the Slytherins - Regulus, Barty Crouch, 
Mulciber and Snape, much to Remus’s satisfaction - emerged from the castle. They were all 
plastered in green slime. Lily’s surprise bogey-bombs had worked a treat. Remus made a 
mental note to congratulate her later. She’d be a marauder, yet. 

“You!” Snape came charging over, globs of pea green ooze dripping from his hair, 
from the tip of his nose. He pointed a long finger at Remus, face contorted with rage. “You 
did this! You and your filthy little friends!” 

“Whatever’s the matter, Snivellus?” Remus asked, coolly, holding his ground, “You 
don’t look any different to me.” 

“You! You!” Snape spluttered, laughter erupting around him as younger students 
gathered to see. 

“Scourgify,” Regulus cast a cleaning charm on himself, restoring his clothes and hair 
to their usual impeccable neatness. He gave Snape a bored look, “Have some decorum, 
Severus. Don’t rise to their pathetic bait.” 

“Hey Prongs, look, they got Snivellus!” Sirius appeared through the crowd, grinning, 
followed by James, and Peter, “Excellent!” 

“It’s a good look, if you want my opinion,” James smirked, patting Remus on the 
shoulder by way of greeting. 

575 

At the sight of Sirius, Regulus rolled his eyes and walked away, joining a group of 
Slytherins near the edge of the lake, huddled together muttering between themselves like a 
murder of crows. 

“When Dumbledore finds out you’re all behind this, he’ll--” Snape raged. 

“What?” Sirius cocked an eyebrow, leaning on James’s shoulder casually, as though 
they were just chatting, “Expel us? On the last day of school?!” 

“You’ll pay!” Snape snarled. He turned and began to stalk back to the school, his robes 
still dripping. 

“Slow down, Snivelly!” Peter called out, hardly able to contain his excitement, “You 
don’t want to miss the grand finale!” 

“Wormtail!” Sirius hissed, kicking his shin. “Shh!” 
“Come on, it’s nearly time,” Remus said, trying to draw them all away from Snape. He 
was obviously about to lose it, and Remus didn’t trust the others not to push him over the 
edge. 
Worryingly, they ended up quite close to Regulus and his clique, by the lake - but it 
was getting crowded and there weren’t many places to stand. Remus had never been one for 
public displays of affection, but he really wished he could hold Sirius’s hand right then, if 
only to stop him doing anything stupid. 
No such luck. 

“Reggie-boy,” Sirius nodded at his brother pleasantly, eyes glittering with mischief. 

“Sirius.” Regulus replied, facing forward, head held high. He was like an alabaster 
statue; a cold marble version of his hot-blooded sibling. “I had hoped you’d learnt to put 
these childish games behind you.” Regulus drawled, sounding bored as ever. “Silly pranks 
and schemes won’t be any use to you once the war is won. The Dark Lord demands order.” 

“Sod your stupid old dark lord,” Sirius tutted, folding his arms. Remus realised the two 
brothers were mirroring each other’s body language. 

All around the lake, students were gathering; they were seconds away. Remus took the 
opportunity to glance about at the most familiar faces - there was Christopher, talking 
animatedly to a few of his sixth year friends, no double re-telling what he had done in the 
owlery. Marlene, Mary and Yaz were giggling between themselves, and a bit further along 
was Emmeline Vance, still a perfect ice maiden, flirting with poor old Roman Rotherhide. A 
gaggle of younger students from the study group were practicing the incantation they were 
about to perform, and beside Remus, Lily and James were holding hands, wands at the 
ready. 

With a great clang, the Hogwarts clock tower struck midday, and James gave off a loud 
whistle, commanding everyone’s attention. It was now! 

It seemed to Remus that they were all holding their breath for a few beats, and he 
gripped his own wand tighter, throwing a quick grin at Sirius, before turning his attention 
back to the lake - and what lay beneath. 

All working as one, the members of The Marauders’ Inter-House Pranking Collective 
raised their wands and gathered their strength, shouting; “A​ ttollo Magna!​ ” 

576 

Remus’s knees weakened. They’d tested the a few times, just the four of them in their 
bedroom (hence Sirius’s vanishing bed), but never with so many others - never so much 
magic at once. He felt as though he’d stuck his wand arm into a beehive; the magic began to 
thrum and vibrate through him, filling his mouth and nostrils like battery acid and pooling 
deep inside. Power. He was giddy with it; practically drunk. He shook his head doggishly, 
trying to maintain his focus and hold on - he had no idea what would happen if he let go. 

Meanwhile, something was happening on the lake. The surface began to ripple and 
shimmer; an odd groaning creaking sound came from a mile below, and then… then… 
*POP*. With almost comical immediacy, the spell had worked. Remus felt a great twist 
inside himself - which was not unpleasant, but not ignorable either, causing him to gasp. 

They’d done it. Students began to laugh and point, the Slytherins were crying out, one 
by one, stupid with shock. Even Regulus’s mouth had dropped open. 

There, hovering just meters above the still waters, directly over the dungeons, hovered 
every bed and trunk from the Slytherin dormitories. It was beautiful. Absolutely perfect in 
every way. The layout of each dorm had been preserved; all they’d had to do was transport 
everything a mile or so upwards. The barrier charm (soft-hearted Lily’s idea) was working 
well too - meaning that no one's possessions were really in any danger of getting wet. 
They’d just have to work out the counter-spell, and everything would return to normal - 
provided all of the Slytherins worked together, of course. 

That had been a Hufflepuff idea. 
Remus’s muscles were still twitching from channelling all that magic. He was a live 
wire; static buzzed at his fingertips. Luckily, very few people noticed; they were too busy 
cheering or screaming with dismay at the sight before them. Fireworks were flying over the 
tops of the beds now, spelling out; 

Have a Great Summer, Slytherin! From; Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff! 
“Are you ok, Moony?” Sirius looked at him, reaching an arm out. 

“Don’t touch me!” Remus snapped, stepping back and shrugging Sirius off, hurriedly. 
He didn’t know what would happen; but he didn’t feel at all safe to be around. 

Sirius rubbed his own arm, looking hurt. 

“Sorry,” Remus breathed, shaking his head again, “Just give me a minute--” 

“YOU!” Oh no. Severus had re-appeared, and was charging towards the marauders, 
wand raised, red faced. It looked like he’d got off most of the slime. 

“Thieves!” He hissed, glaring at James and Sirius, “Give me my things back! Get them 
down at ONCE!” 

Sirius and James were beside themselves with laughter, which didn’t help matters, but 
Snape really had brought this on himself. No one e​ lse​ was ranting and raving like a lunatic. 

Lily tried to intervene, breaking away from James. 

“Severus, it’s not what you think, it’s easy enough to--” 
But it was too late. Snape had already turned to the lake and aimed his wand at 
whichever bed was his. He was trying a basic levitation spell; but it wasn’t going to work - 
the marauders had designed the spell s​ pecifically​ to ward against that kind of measure. 

577 

“No, don’t!” Lily yelled, covering her eyes. 
But of course Snape never listened; not when he felt he’d been wronged. It seemed to 
work for a moment; one of the beds jerked a bit, and wobbled. But only for a microsecond. 
The next thing anyone knew, it had come loose, plummeting into the sparkling waters 
below with a loud splash. 
Severus stared; his mean mouth a hard straight line, dark greasy hair falling into his 
eyes. 
He turned, wand raised, and Remus caught a scent - a scent he had only recognised 
twice before; like charred flesh. Dark magic. A curse. Another twist in his gut, this time far 
less pleasant, and Remus felt a change inside him. 
“S​ ectumsempra​!” Snape cried. 
Remus didn’t even need his wand; he had more than enough power, and without 
thinking, stepped in front of James, raising his hand as Severus flung the curse. 
The world seemed to take on a strange red hue, and wind roared in Remus’s ears, so 
that he only very faintly heard Lily’s scream, and James and Sirius shout, “Moony!” 
The curse hit Remus - but he felt nothing. It seemed to simply dissipate as soon as it 
touched his skin, leaving him with nothing worse than a feeling of mild sunburn. Still; he 
was weaker now than he had been two minutes ago. As if the force of the barrier he’d 
created had sapped him of all of his other magic. 
He blinked, and everything came back to normal. Snape was still standing in front of 
him, looking terrified and furious in equal measure. Sirius’s hand was on Remus’s arm, and 
James was now charging towards Snape. 
Remus sank slowly to the grass below, exhausted. He sat cross-legged on the ground, 
dazed, Sirius crouched beside him, 
“Moony?!” 
“I’m ok.” 
“What the fuck was that?!” Sirius whispered, urgently. He sounded scared. 
“I… I don’t know.” Remus whispered back, bowing his head. 
“It was just a counter-jinx!” Lily suddenly shouted, and Remus realised she was 
addressing the students that had gathered around, curious. Always quick on her feet, that 
girl, “Snape tried to curse Potter, you all saw it! Lupin just caught it in time.” 
“Can you get up?” Sirius was asking, tugging at his elbow. “We’ll go to Madam 
Pomfrey--” 
“No,” Remus shook his head, fiercely, getting up, “I’m ok. Honestly. Just surprised 
myself. Wordless magic or something, I haven’t got the hang of it yet.” 
“Ok…” Sirius was looking at him warily. Lily was on crowd control, and James seemed 
to have chased Snape away - or else he’d gone to Slughorn to formally complain about the 
prank. 
Equilibrium restored itself. Remus gave Sirius his best smile, and gave his arm a gentle 
squeeze to show that it was all ok now. Sirius relaxed a bit, nodding. 

578 

The older Slytherins a bit further along the lake edge were now conferring amongst 
themselves. It seemed that Snape’s misfortune had benefited his house-mates. At least now 
they knew what wouldn’t work. 

“Sort of nice, isn’t it?” Mary sauntered over, smiling broadly and completely oblivious 
to what had just happened. “See them all employing a bit of teamwork. We might have 
house unity yet!” 

“Don’t count on it,” Marlene smirked, just behind her. 
The Slytherins had begun to argue loudly. 
They all stayed to watch the drama unfold a while longer. One particularly hilarious 
attempt to restore order resulted in every second bed lifting a few feet higher. Another spell 
caused them all to face west, for no discernable reason. After an hour had past, a group of 
Ravenclaws took an interest and began workshopping more ideas with the desperate 
Slytherins. 
At that point, Remus was feeling normal again, which meant only one thing. 
“I’m hungry.” He announced. 
“Feast’ll be in half an hour,” Lily said, distracted by the squid, who was playing with 
one of the Slytherin's bedside tables, trying to bat it with its longest tentacle. 
“I might go up and get changed then.” Mary said. 
Everyone agreed. Leave the Slytherins to it. 
As they walked back up to the castle, grinning and laughing together, Remus was 
aware of Sirius’s eyes still on him, but still couldn’t offer any explanation. Whatever had 
happened had only ever occurred once before - that afternoon in the forest with Castor and 
Livia. And that was hardly a pleasant memory for either him ​or​ Sirius. 
“Oi, Black,” Marlene said, appearing beside them, “Ever get your bed back?” 
“Hm?” Sirius frowned, “Oh, no, I never did. Long gone now, I s’pose, seeking its 
fortune on the open road. Godspeed, old bed.” He sighed, wistfully. 
Remus sniggered. 
“Aren’t you worried the school’ll charge you for it?” Marlene said. 
He shrugged. Marlene tutted, 
“Spoilt brat.” 
“Did you even ​try​ to get it back?” Lily asked. 
“Well, we don’t know where it went.” James replied, chuckling at the memory. 
“Not even a basic summoning charm?” 
“No, we never--” 
“A​ ccio bed​!” Sirius yelled at the top of his lungs, waving his wand. 
A faint and distant rumble. 
“Oh shit…” Sirius murmured. 
The lake behind them began to bubble, and they all turned in time to see Sirius’s four 
poster bed rising from the water like a great mahogany submarine. Draped in seaweed and 
heavy waterlogged velvet hangings, it rose into the air and flew towards them so that they 

579 

had to scatter and dive to the ground, covering the heads. It crashed on the spot Sirius had 
summoned it to with a heavy, squelchy THUD, and promptly splintered into several pieces. 

Silence for a few seconds, as Lily, Marlene, Mary, Yaz, James, Peter, Remus and Sirius 
raised their heads once more, climbing to their feet in amazement. Then laughter from 
every quarter - especially the Slytherins still gathered by the lake’s edge. 

Sirius just stood there, scratching his head. 
“Hm.” He said. “Bottom of the lake all along, eh?” 
It was still dripping. The sheets were green with algae and sand and grit piled up on 
the mattress. 
“Oi, you wanker!” James said, approaching the rescued bed and snatching up a 
rectangular pile of greyish mulch, “Is this my quidditch magazine?!” 
“Er… maybe…” Sirius grinned - then, catching the murderous glint in James’s eye, 
began to run at full pelt back to the castle, James chasing after him. 
“I suppose now’s as good a time as any,” Peter whispered to Remus, “But, er… Filch 
caught me with the map earlier. He confiscated it.” 
“What?!” Remus rounded on him, angry. That map was h​ is​! His idea, his magic! 
“Don’t be angry with me, Moony!” Peter cringed, “It was locked and everything, I 
promise! No one can get into it unless they’re up to no good -- a​ nd​ they’d have to break into 
Filch’s office!” 
Remus stopped at these words. He was right about that. After all; anyone who could 
achieve both those feats would certainly be worthy of the map. And he had wanted to leave 
something behind; a true legacy. This way, perhaps Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & 
Prongs might be remembered, one day. 
He squinted ahead at the two dark haired boys chasing each other and whooping with 
laughter. He looked at the four girls, who’d all linked arms and were walking cheerfully 
back to the castle, voices light and carefree. 
What did Remus Lupin have to be angry about? What had he to worry about? His 
heart swelled, and he was reminded of something Sirius had told him a few months ago. 
Love was something you d​ id,​ not something you said; and every one of these people had 
proved that to him. 
“Alright, Wormy,” Remus flung his arm around Peter’s shoulders, grinning, “You’re 
forgiven. C’mon, let’s catch up.” 
 
(Song: School’s Out - The Sensational Alex Harvey Band [cover]) 
 
 
 
 

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