Khuluma December 2018

BIG THINGS COME IN SMALL BATCHES DISCOVER

DISCOVER
People. Ideas. Things.

SIGNATURE SPIRIT

It’s quite possibly the finest
gin to come out of the Mzansi
craft revolution so far. It’s taken
meticulous refining of recipes,
and the quality-minded owners
of Autograph Gin brought in
the godfather of South African
artisanal spirits, Roger Jorgensen,
to get the process just right.
Heading up the small-batch
distillery is Matt Beech who
produces a spirit so superbly local
they’re calling it an African Dry
Gin. Its angelica root base notes,
coriander overtones and hints of
Artemisia afra are complemented
by fresh botanicals such as buchu
and lemon-scented Pelargonium
crispum (grown outside the
distillery in Stellenbosch’s up-
and-coming Bosman’s Crossing
precinct). You’ll find it on select
shelves – or you can step into
Autograph’s bar, open on Friday
evenings, for one or two of Matt’s

genius cocktails.
autographgin.com

Words: Keith Bain, Picture: Supplied

Fast bowlers 202 Rockstar cookbooks 211 Tricked-out cars 221 Meditation 227 and more Liquid libations 243

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 201

Duck!
Tom Eaton quivers in fear and
awe as two of the greatest
super-athletes in cricketing
history prepare to take aim at
this summer’s stumps

202 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com

ANOTHER SPECIES DISCOVER

R andy ‘Duke’ Cunningham, an But that was where the list ended, when the great quick bowlers light their
American fighter pilot who because he’d arrived with a horrible grunt, afterburners and start rearranging
saw action over Vietnam, once and suddenly there was a loud thwack priorities 22 yards away.
described what it was like to have a halfway down the pitch, and a sort of
surface-to-air missile fired at you. hiss and a breath of wind somewhere It also gave me a small glimpse of what
near my face, and just as I was starting we really mean when we talk about the
When the missile appeared on your to tell myself that I needed to duck, great fast bowlers and the great batsmen
radar, he explained, the first thing you there was another thwack, 20 metres who take them on. It showed me that
did was check whether it was coming for behind me, and the ball was lodged in the we’re not talking about human beings like
you or for your wingman. If it was coming wicketkeeper’s gloves and the fielders you or me. They’re not us, just fitter and
for your wingman, he explained, you felt were clapping encouragement and stronger and braver. They’re an entirely
good. If it was coming for you it didn’t feel pointing out that my reflexes were so slow different species.
quite as good. ‘But,’ he said, ‘it certainly that I’d only started screaming and falling
does rearrange your priorities.’ (In later over once the ball was past me. To bowl fast is to sprint up to a line and
life Randy become a politician and was then try to clench your abs so hard that
subsequently jailed for bribery, fraud and Thankfully I was out one delivery later, your stomach slams up into your throat,
tax evasion, so apparently those priorities bowled, stumped, LBW, caught, hit wicket, while doing a cartwheel down the pitch
were pretty well rearranged.) timed out, given out obstructing the field with the intention of exploding the big toe
and banned for insulting the umpire’s on your front foot, all timed so that
I’ve never had a missile fired at me mother – anything just to make sure I a string seam, six stitches wide, leaves
but I did once face a fairly fast bowler in wouldn’t have to face a third ball. My your index and middle fingers at just the
a cricket match, which is basically the priorities had rearranged themselves into right angle and rotation so that it will
same thing, and I can admit to you that a new, much shorter list: either land flush on the pitch or lean
my priorities were rearranged all over the over like a little rudder and send the ball
place, mostly downwards and backwards 1. Get off the field. swinging away to the left or right.
onto the ground, and quite loudly, in what 2. Don’t go back. Ever.
might have been a scream. What still astonishes me about those It’s quite mad, but it’s not as mad as
few minutes is not how abject I was, or what batsmen do. Because they want to
My priorities hadn’t looked like that how I was nothing like Randy Cunningham stand in front of a maniac trying to kill
a few seconds earlier. Back then, as the under pressure. No. What still boggles them with a rock. And once he’s thrown it
bowler turned at the top of his run and my mind is that that bowler was probably at them, they are willing – eager, even –
started running towards me, they had only chugging it through at 130km/h. to squat down a little bit more so
been a neat little list, the sort you can And in international cricket, that’s called that their face and soft personal bits
even number. Like this: medium-fast. An honest trier. A workhorse are in line with the rock, and then they
running into the wind. That moment of want to poke the rock with
1. Keep your head steady. pure confusion and terror for me – those a thin plank.
2. Watch his hand. microseconds of thwack-whoosh-
3. Get back and across your stumps. thwack-ha-ha-ha – were barely even the
4. Watch the ball. same sport compared to what happens
5. If it lands near you, get your foot as
close to –

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 203

DISCOVER ANOTHER SPECIES

Clockwise
from top left: Mustachioed
Dennis Lillee lands a ball
that takes off the batsman's
helmet; Jeff Thomson and his
mullet inspiring both awe and terror;
Malcolm Marshall, the baby-faced
assassin, is among the finest and

fastest bowlers of
all time

These are not normal people; but then But of all of these, it is only the genuine
again, test cricket is no normal sport. It is speedster – the gunslinger, the bringer of
the grandest theatre, sporting a familiar heat, the crusher of dreams – who has the
cast of characters whose names may ability to unleash thunder and lightning
change from decade to decade but whose out of a clear blue sky and to shock an
roles are as fixed and famous as any in entire series out of its late summer torpor.
Shakespeare: the self-denying opening
batsman, dodging traffic for the first The names of the greats resonate down
hour of a match; the expressionists in through cricketing history: the biker-
the middle-order, seducing us with their moustached and mullet-wearing menace
flourish; the nuggety wicketkeeper with of Dennis Lillee and Jeff Thomson
thighs made of flexed steel and fingers respectively; the awe- and terror-inspiring
held together with surgical pins, sticky West Indian pace quartets of the 1970s
tape, chewing gum and prayer; the finger- and 1980s, featuring Michael Holding,
spinner, wheeling and winkling away at
the edges of the batters’ a.k.a. Whispering Death,
minds; the wrist-spinner, and Malcolm Marshall, the
giving it an almighty rip baby-faced assassin; Richard
and making the ball hum and drift Hadlee, a voracious lone wolf
and dip like a malignant bumblebee. in the otherwise sheepish Kiwi
teams of the 1980s; Pakistan’s
Sultans of Swing, Wasim

204 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com





ANOTHER SPECIES DISCOVER

Akram and Waqar Younis, more likely to Pace who know and love the game that Dale
break your foot than your nose; and finally giant Allan Steyn is the best fast bowler of the last
the last of the pace giants in the late Donald (left) reminded 30 years. Indeed, there is a very solid
1990s, when Curtly Ambrose and Allan batsmen of a time when statistical argument to be made that
Donald reminded batsmen of a time when dinosaurs ruled our planet; Steyn stands alongside Hadlee as the
dinosaurs ruled the earth. and Colin Croft (top right) most formidable fast bowler in test
made no secret of history, full stop.
Since then, however, one name has his love of hitting
risen above almost all others. batsmen You don’t need lists of averages and
strike rates, however, to recognise Steyn’s
He’s not the tallest of the pace greats was open about the fact that he preferred greatness. You just have to think back
like the giants Ambrose and Courtney to hit batsmen rather than wickets. He’s over the last 14 summers and remember
Walsh. He’s not the scariest, like the wild not the most dangerous: he doesn’t have the Phalaborwa Express steaming in over
Thomson or West Indian Colin Croft who Andy Roberts’ vicious, skiddy bouncer and over, cranking it up and making it jag
or Mitchell Johnson’s brutish, lifting away or duck in late, drawing the false
bone-breakers. He’s not even the fastest: shot, bursting through rushed defences,
most pundits agree that Pakistan’s Shoaib again and again, in all conditions, against
Akhtar was probably the quickest ever, all comers, taking Steyn to within reach
able, on a good day, with a tailwind, and of 700 international
when he wasn’t sulking, to get it up wickets.
over 150km/h.
Fourteen years is
But there is no question among those a stunningly long run for
a thoroughbred pace
bowler. Wasim played
for 19 years, Hadlee for
17 and Walsh for 15, but
in their last few seasons
they were barely
quicker than medium-
pace. The explosive
speedsters tend to blow up
and blow out long before that:
Holding and Ambrose managed
12 years, but Shoaib was
around for just 10, while

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 207

DISCOVER ANOTHER SPECIES

Mzansi's THE PROTEAS MEET
bowling giants, PAKISTAN
Dale Steyn (left) and
Kagiso Rabada (below) South Africa – with Steyn and Rabada
will both put Pakistan in cahoots – will face o against
to the test this Pakistan this summer, in a series of
three tests, the rst of which happens
summer at SuperSport Park from 26 through
29 December; they then move to
Newlands on 3 January, followed by
Wanderers on 11 January. A series of
ODIs against Pakistan follows.

cricket.co.za

Brett Lee and Mitchell Johnson were we’re seeing the greatest fast bowler of Pictures: Craig Kolesky/Red Bull Content Pool,
gone after 9 and 8 respectively. the last 30 years bowling in tandem with Cricket International Archive, Shutterstock.com, Supplied
the greatest fast bowler of the next 30.
It’s not hard to understand why. When
Steyn bangs down his front foot and pivots Kagiso Rabada is the inheritor of Steyn’s
over it to release one of his thunderbolts, crown, a beautiful super-athlete carving
he is putting around 10 times his up the record books and scarring the
bodyweight through his knee and ankle. psyches of the world’s batting elite. In just
If I did that 100 times I’d literally explode. three years, he has become the youngest
Steyn has done it over 63 000 times. And bowler in test history to take 150 wickets,
that’s just in actual cricket matches, not and there is already educated speculation
including the hours in the nets. Add in that, barring injury, he might end his
the 20m run-up, and you are looking at a career as the leading wicket-taker among
body that has covered 1 260km in run-ups all fast bowlers, ever.
alone, before even bowling a ball in anger.
That, however, is for the future. For
All of which suggests that, despite the now, let’s be content with watching two
fire in his belly and his vow to play in the masters at work, and enjoy the sort of
2019 World Cup, Steyn is nearing the end historical overlap that almost never
of his international career. happens in elite sport. Let’s marvel at the
fact that what we’re seeing right now is
So why write about him and his creaky the equivalent of Steffi Graf and Serena
hamstrings now? Williams pairing up to play doubles at

The first answer is because we should. Wimbledon. It’s a relay team
It would be a terrible pity to wait until the with Carl Lewis and Usain Bolt
week of Steyn’s retirement to celebrate running the last two stages.
the fact that the best paceman of the last It’s a World Cup football final
generation wears a with Pelé and Messi on the
Protea on his chest. same side.
It is, in short, magic. Well, for
The second everyone except the batsmen and
reason is the history being those damned priorities…
made this season. Because this
summer, perhaps for the last time,

208 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com





IN THE KITCHEN WITH GIANTS DISCOVER

CBOOTOHOKEKINSG

Two big personalities, two great new
South African recipe books. We asked
bling queen SuzelleDIY and Top Chef
South Africa judge Lesego Semenya to

tell us about the cookbooks they’ve
just released

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 211

DISCOVER IN THE KITCHEN WITH GIANTS

Clockwise
from left: Jack
Parow’s braai
broodjies; Jan Hendrik’s
compound butter; Ryno’s
lamb potjie; melktert

jaffles

SuzelleDIY: BEYOND THE BRAAI PIE

Because it’s me, Recipes is a very creative You will find an easy-peasy recipe for

cookbook, very colourful and bright, butternut fritters, discover how to make

with beautiful photographs. The dishes my Ouma’s snoek pâté which is incredible

I’ve put together in the book are a mix (especially since she lived in the Karoo,

of my Ouma’s handed-down recipes, miles from the sea), and once you learn

my own creativity, Google research, and the secret for making melktert jaffles,

suggestions and recipes from my famous your life will never be the same again. For

and close friends. I hate to admit it, but anyone who is familiar with my DIY shows,

there are even a few recipes in there you’ll be happy to know that there’s a

contributed by Ryno, that boyfriend of baklava braai pie recipe in the book’s ‘Braai

Marianne. His Greek lamb potjie recipe Time’ section. That’s right, I’ve cleverly

is so stunning. Don’t tell him I said so, divided the book into different sections so

though, because of his ego. you can pick out a recipe according to your

I also managed to get hold of Jack mood or to fit the occasion.

Parow, who gave me his braai broodjies Recipes is for everyone. I didn’t want

recipe. Obviously I zhooshed it up a bit. to create a book that’s only for master

And there’s a fantastic guide to making chefs. No, these recipes are for the kinds

biltong and brandy compound butter from of dishes anyone can make at home – and

South Africa’s only Michelin star chef, you should, because they are stunning and

Jan Hendrik. delicious. Even if the only cooking you’ve

Maybe the biggest surprises in the book ever done has involved pressing the button

are Marianne’s recipes. She’s not good on the microwave, you will find success.

with intricate things, but when it comes to And I think the pictures of the food (and

an easy, delicious meal, nothing beats her of me looking stunning in my apron) will

Marmite spaghetti. It sounds ridiculous, but inspire you to achieve wonderful things

children love it and it takes a few minutes the next time you go into the kitchen. Who

to make. cares if the dish comes out looking a bit

There’s so much great stuff in the book. rustic? It will definitely taste stunning.

212 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com

IN THE KITCHEN WITH GIANTS DISCOVER

Words and interviews: Keith Bain, Pictures: Supplied Known for
bringing the bling,
SuzelleDIY has released a
fabulous ‘how to’ compendium
of deliciously South African dishes
simply titled Recipes. It’s published
by Jacana and is available now – a
perfect pressie for someone you
love, whether or not they can

actually cook.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 213

DISCOVER IN THE KITCHEN WITH GIANTS

Lesego Semenya’s new
cookbook is Dijo – My Food, My
Journey and it’s published by Jacana.
Using recipes and personal stories,
it takes you on a journey through
Semenya’s food background, from his
childhood in Soweto to the fine-

dining techniques he learned
at chef school and
beyond.

LESEGO SEMENYA: FROM MZANSI WITH LOVE

Township food is unpretentious. It is all and adding cheffing techniques to twist unusual for my dad to cook, so seeing
a man cooking wasn’t an anomaly for
about flavour and taste… and fulfilling them up, while staying true to the us. Growing up in Soweto, visitors would
just rock up out of the blue and it was
a craving. It makes the soul happy essence of the memories and flavours. essential to offer them food. So I grew
and that is my goal when it comes to Food was always a part of my up associating the sharing of food with
happy memories. We’d also have monthly
cooking. The food I make must make childhood. I grew up in a household of Semenya family lunches where my

someone happy first and then get them boys. My mom would involve us in the

to reminisce about a place or a time. I do kitchen and at weekends it was usually
this by taking foods from my childhood our task to make breakfast. It also wasn’t

214 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com





IN THE KITCHEN WITH GIANTS DISCOVER

LESEGO’S TASTE OF HOME extended family would gather at
a chosen person’s house and everyone
To get an experience of the kind of unpretentious ‘South African cuisine’ I’m would bring a dish.
talking about, the three dishes in my book that people should try first would
have to be the ting with tshotlo, the home-made kakipkip, and the mogodu When I qualified as a chef, my late
and ledombolo. My favourite dish in the book is magwinya and white liver. It aunt Modiegi would always try to
just reminds me of my grandmother and winter mornings in Soweto. compete with me when it came to
cooking. She’d make a pot of something
My all-time favourite township meal will always be a kota from Ntsitsi’s in and get me to make the same thing and
Diepkloof. A kota is a hollowed-out quarter loaf of bread filled with chips, then ask people to judge which was best.
cheese, sauces, atchar, processed meats and Russian sausage – it’s unhealthy
as anything, but it epitomises Soweto for me. I’ve always loved experimenting in the
kitchen. I reckon the earliest dish
For people who are unfamiliar with township food but want to give it a I can remember making was a frittata…
bash, I’d recommend buying food where the school kids and teachers go for it was meant to be scrambled eggs but
their meals at lunchtime. Ignore the tourist areas, and rather head for those I had put a whole lot of things in it.
cafés that sell magwinya and white liver; you’ll find these places at the Bara
taxi ranks where taxi drivers buy their food, and there are many kota shops
all over the township. Start off with magwinya and snoek fish and white liver.

Words and interviews: Keith Bain, Pictures: Supplied

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 217

DISCOVER IN THE KITCHEN WITH GIANTS It was only later in life that I learned that
it was called a frittata.
Ledombolo
with mogodu (left), I was pretty good in the kitchen as
and ting ya mabele a kid, but my younger brother Kagiso
with tshotlo (right), was the one who loved cooking,
ironically. I only entered the food world
both from formally in my late-20s, which I think
Semenya’s book was a good thing – my views on life and
society as a whole had matured and
I wasn’t easily fazed by all the fancy Words and interviews: Keith Bain, Pictures: Supplied
words and big terms of the culinary
world. As much as I love fine dining and
the classic techniques of cooking, I had
a bit of an issue with the superficiality
of it all. We South Africans love food but
we’re not the kind of society to stick to
strict food protocols and etiquettes and
I feel that has been our stumbling block
when attempting to grow our industry.
We’ve tried way too hard to replicate
the European ways without adding our
own South African flair and cheek. It
is slowly changing as more and more
young people enter the industry and play
around with the established norms. By
being a visible user of social media and
sharing my life and opinions freely, I’m
trying to change the image of what
a South African chef is like; I’m trying to
show the real side of what we do.

218 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com





CARS WITH PLUS-SIZE PERSONALITIES DISCOVER

Pimp

myRide
Welcome to the world of custom cars where
C trick paint jobs, huge alloy wheels and engine
transplants turn boring rides into rolling works
of art – or roadworthy abominations

ontrary to popular paraphernalia was easier to procure and in the world – you need only attend a
belief, car modification enthusiasts keen to pimp their rides had few of our car shows, race gatherings
began long before The access to sculpted bumpers, under-car and exhibitions to witness the amazing
lighting and 18-inch rims capable of pool of imagination on offer. This talent
Fast and the Furious transforming their metal steeds into spans myriad subcultures, that tend to
veritable show ponies. be categorised according to five distinct
fever spread across the globe at the start movements: full custom, spinning, tuner,
South Africa has spawned some of the stance and drifting…
of the millennium. What the movies did most impressive and unique creations

do, though, was popularise the culture

of car upgrades. Suddenly, race-inspired

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 221

XXXXXX XXXXXX

CHANGE IT UP readings in excess of 150dB. You know? Thousands of devotees turn up at each
So that everyone hears – and feels – event hungry for action and in hopes of
As the name suggests, full custom you coming, even before you’ve turned witnessing some seriously dexterous
vehicles have been radically altered the corner. driving manoeuvres.
from their original state to improve such
attributes as aesthetics, performance and YOU SPIN ME RIGHT The drivers – or stunt artists – thrive
sound. Usually this involves a complete ROUND on the fanfare and get high on the noise
engine and transmission swap, along with generated by the crowds. ‘I’ve been
tailoring the visuals in order to create Nah, we’re not talking about static bike spinning since I was a teenager,’ Johnnie
a bespoke look that’s unlike the car it’s gym classes with a punchy soundtrack; told us. ‘It’s an obsession, it’s all I do and
based on. Ultimately, anything goes, as the we’re talking about that uniquely South all I think about. I enjoy entertaining the
limits are defined entirely by imagination African pastime which started as an crowds – and the crowds fuel me.’
and budget. underground gathering in the townships
back in the 1980s. One aficionado – we’ll Amongst spinners, the most popular
Often, those behind these creations go call him Johnnie – told us that spinning vehicle is the rear-wheel-drive E30 BMW
to extraordinary lengths to ensure their car is a form of expression where people from 3 Series – it’s the poster car of spinning. It’s
follows a particular theme. Money is no different walks of life can congregate become a favourite among drivers owing
object and hundreds of thousands might and enjoy the smell of burning rubber to its rear-wheel-drive layout and
be spent in the name of one-upmanship. and unburnt fuel. Indeed, these social relative affordability.
The results include some crazy creations, get-togethers are more about the vibe
from fire engine-themed Kombis and New and tyre-smoking action than the overall ‘Yes, I work on my BMW with my son,’
York Checker cab-style taxis to BMW M3- results. Nevertheless, this wheel- Johnnie explained proudly, ‘because
crushing turbocharged Citi Golfs. spinning cultural phenom has evolved spinning is a family affair and has become
into a genuine exhibition of showmanship part of our lives. That BMW is the only
And then there are the sound system now staged in very safe and controlled car we have. We spend hours together
installations – works of art in their own environments all across the country. figuring out which combinations will work;
right – sometimes boasting as many as adjusting the camber and caster angles
10 subwoofers, six amplifiers and decibel or fiddling with the engine timing. We’ve

222 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com

CARS WITH PLUS-SIZE PERSONALITIES DISCOVER

Words: Aaron Borrill, Pictures: Calvin Fisher, Chris Wall, Supplied. also started to work a bit on the body – you variety that are easiest and least WOOF!
know, to give it the show to match the go.’ expensive to modify. In this category, it’s
the Volkswagen Golf GTI, Ford Focus ST When it comes to sound systems,
INSIDE MATTERS and Audi A3 that tend to rule the roost, many enthusiasts attempt to outdo
and many of these upgraded vehicles do each other by cramming as many
Tuner culture refers to the group of tend to have subtle visual improvements speakers and subwoofers into their car
car up-levellers who focus primarily to complement their pulsing powertrains. as possible. Take this gentleman for
on souping up their ride by tweaking These minimalist tweaks are referred to example – he’s managed to shoehorn
its performance levels with very little as OEM-Plus – OEM meaning ‘Original six 15-inch subwoofers, eight 10-inch
emphasis, if any, on visual drama. This Equipment Manufacturer’ where only subwoofers, three amplifiers, a bouquet
usually involves dabbling with the engine parts and accessories from the same of tweeters and mid-range speakers,
management system and replacing manufacturer or the same vehicle group and two television monitors into the
certain hardware components such as are used for upgrades or enhancements. back of his transporter. The result? The
the engine’s injectors and forced induction
systems (exhausts included) which IF LOOKS COULD KILL Abominable Show Van.
sometimes doubles the quoted stock
power figures. The stance movement is a relatively
recent evolution; some argue that it
It all comes down to what you’re willing is all about impractical – even garish
and able to spend – a titanium exhaust – upgrades. But you can’t dispute the
system finished off with carbon-fibre tips passion that stance enthusiasts have for
can cost anywhere between R75 000 transforming the mundane into the insane.
and R100 000. And then there are the
turbo upgrades, water-methanol injection ‘Stance isn’t for everyone,’ says devotee
systems and computer management Jason Gomes. ‘Stance followers are after
systems… Of all the options available, it’s a unique look and in many cases this can
usually hatchbacks of the turbocharged compromise the car’s ability to

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 223

DISCOVER CARS WITH PLUS-SIZE PERSONALITIES

“get around” – it’s part of the game.’ does make for an intriguing appearance, levels to match. Huge wings, bumper
There is no starter kit or crash course: in most cases these cars are unable to canards and bold vinyl graphics
negotiate speed humps and parking yards underscore these audacious creations
it comes down to pushing the boundaries because the bumpers sit just millimetres paying homage to the original ‘Tōge’ cars
of what is considered functional and from the tar. or mountain drifters of Japan.
even legal. Their outrageous, sometimes
crazy, creations can involve adding air THE DRIFTERS While you do find drifters who compete
suspension, lowering kits and huge- against each other to earn points from
diameter wheels with negative camber Since its inception in Japan in the early judges based on various factors, there are
and stretched tyres. 1970s, the niche motorsport of drifting also those who enjoy merely transforming
has evolved into a multi-faceted cultural their stock rear-wheel Japanese rockets
‘Any car will look better with a lowered movement. One of the key sources into non-competing eye-catching
or slammed ride height but to get the responsible for its global growth is the display cars. These builds are planned in
look just right means you’re going to have Japanese anime series, Initial D, whose incredible detail and take months, even
to spend some serious coin,’ says Gomes. central protagonist is a high school years, to complete due to a combination
‘You’re not going to get the money shot by student, Takumi Fujiwara, who learns of factors such as unfavourable exchange
merely changing your springs. Nope, it’s to drift on Mount Akina Pass using a rates and a relentless search for
coilovers or bags or nothing.’ tuned Toyota Trueno AE86. Finding a authentic parts. Most of these ‘show’
mint Trueno AE86 is close to impossible examples are in actual fact drift-ready
Naturally a huge focus is placed on nowadays, but other Japanese vehicles but the risk of competing is just too
the car’s ‘stance’ – in other words, the such as the Nissan GT-R, Toyota Supra, expensive to justify since colliding with
way the car’s body shell works together Mazda RX-7 and MX-5 are just as popular, obstacles (and other cars) is a reality of
with the suspension arrangement and with the kerbside drama and performance the sport.
wheels bestowing it with a squat, low-to-
the-ground appearance. And while this

ALIEN INFLUENCE

For many upgraders, popular culture is a vital source of inspiration. In a quest to pay
homage to the Ridley Scott-directed Alien, an otherwise quotidian-looking Chrysler PT
Cruiser has been transformed into a frighteningly macabre shrine to those horrible-
looking acid-spitting creatures from outer space. HR Geiger would be proud.

224 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com





THE VALUE OF MEDITATION DISCOVER

THE
BIG

question

Since the publication of his first book, Sapiens, historian Yuval Noah Harari has emerged as
a global authority on what drives human evolution – and what that might mean in the future.
His latest book, 21 Lessons for the 21st Century offers cautionary insights into where we find

ourselves today. In this excerpt from the book’s chapter on meditation, we gain
a glimpse into Professor Harari’s personal quest to understand the human mind – and his
daily practice of internal observation that colours and textures his vision of the world

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 227

DISCOVER THE VALUE OF MEDITATION

W hen I was Yuval Noah Harari’s first he kept saying. ‘Don’t try to control the
a teenager I was two books, Sapiens and Homo breath or to breathe in any particular way.
a troubled and restless Deus, are essential reading for Just observe the reality of the present
person. The world made no sense to me, moment, whatever it may be. When the
and I got no answers to the big questions anyone curious about the past breath comes in, you are just aware – now
I had about life. In particular, I didn’t and possible future of our species. the breath is coming in. When the breath
understand why there was so much goes out, you are just aware – now the
suffering in the world and in my own life, His latest book, 21 Lessons for breath is going out. And when you lose
and what could be done about it. All I got the 21st Century, is published your focus and your mind starts wandering
from the people around me and from by Jonathan Cape/Penguin in memories and fantasies, you are just
the books I read were elaborate fictions: Random House UK and is aware – now my mind has wandered
religious myths about gods and heavens, away from the breath.’ It was the most
nationalist myths about the motherland available now. important thing anybody ever told me.
and its historical mission, romantic myths
about love and adventure, or capitalist insight. It was extremely frustrating. When people ask the big questions
myths about economic growth and how Eventually my good friend Ron Merom of life, they usually have absolutely no
buying and consuming stuff will make me interest in knowing when their breath is
happy. I had enough sense to realise that suggested that I try putting aside all the coming into their nostrils and when is
these were probably all fictions, but I had books and intellectual discussions for a it going out. Rather, they want to know
no idea how to find truth. few days, and take a Vipassana meditation things like what happens after you die. Yet
course. (‘Vipassana’ means ‘introspection’ the real enigma of life is not what happens
When I began studying at university, in the Pali language of ancient India.) after you die, but what happens before you
I thought it would be the ideal place to I thought it was some New Age mumbo- die. If you want to understand death, you
find answers. But I was disappointed. jumbo, and since I had no interest in need to understand life.
The academic world provided me hearing yet another mythology, I declined
with powerful tools to deconstruct all to go. But after a year of patient nudging,
the myths humans ever create, but it in April 2000 he got me to go to a 10-day
didn’t offer satisfying answers to the Vipassana retreat.
big questions of life. On the contrary, it
encouraged me to focus on narrower Previously I knew very little about
and narrower questions. I eventually meditation, and presumed it must involve
found myself writing a doctorate all kinds of complicated mystical theories.
at the University of Oxford about I was therefore amazed by how practical
autobiographical texts of medieval the teaching turned out to be. The teacher
soldiers. As a side hobby, I kept reading at the course, S. N. Goenka, instructed
a lot of philosophy books and having lots the students to sit with crossed legs
of philosophical debates, but though and closed eyes, and to focus all their
this provided endless intellectual attention on the breath coming in and
entertainment, it hardly provided real out of their nostrils. ‘Don’t do anything,’

228 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com





THE VALUE OF MEDITATION DISCOVER

People ask ‘When I die, will I just vanish Have you ever observed a soul? You show me that I hardly had any control of
completely? Will I go to heaven? Will I be can explore this at any moment, not myself. I was not the CEO – I was barely
reborn in a new body?’ These questions just at the moment of death. If you can the gatekeeper. I was asked to stand at
are based on the assumption that there understand what happens to you as one the gateway of my body – the nostrils –
is an ‘I’ that endures from birth to death, moment ends and another moment and just observe whatever comes in or
and the question is ‘What will happen to begins – you will also understand what goes out. Yet after a few moments I lost
this I at death?’ But what is there that will happen to you at the moment of my focus and abandoned my post. It was
endures from birth to death? The body death. If you can really observe yourself an eye-opening experience.
keeps changing every moment, the brain for the duration of a single breath – you
keeps changing every moment, the mind will understand it all. As the course progressed, students
keeps changing every moment. The were taught to observe not just their
closer you observe yourself, the more The first thing I learned by observing breath, but sensations throughout their
obvious it becomes that nothing endures my breath was that notwithstanding all body. Not special sensations of bliss and
even from one moment to the next. So the books I had read and all the classes ecstasy, but rather the most mundane
what holds together an entire life? If you I had attended at university, I knew and ordinary sensations: heat, pressure,
don’t know the answer to that, you don’t almost nothing about my mind, and pain and so on. The technique of
understand life, and you certainly have I had very little control over it. Despite Vipassana is based on the insight that the
no chance of understanding death. If and my best efforts, I couldn’t observe the flow of mind is closely interlinked with
when you ever discover what holds life reality of my breath coming in and out body sensations. Between me and the
together, the answer to the big question of my nostrils for more than 10 seconds world there are always body sensations.
of death will also become apparent. before the mind wandered away. For I never react to events in the outside
years I lived under the impression that world; I always react to the sensations
People say, ‘The soul endures from I was the master of my life, and the CEO in my own body. When the sensation is
birth to death and thereby holds life of my own personal brand. But a few unpleasant, I react with aversion. When
together’ – but that is just a story. hours of meditation were enough to the sensation is pleasant, I react with

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 231

DISCOVER THE VALUE OF MEDITATION Since that first course in 2000, I have Pictures: Olivier Middendorp (Yuval Harari portrait), Bruce Rolff/shutterstock.com Ollyy/shutterstock.com
meditated for two hours every day, and
cravings for more. Even when we think we react to what another person has
done, to President Trump’s latest tweet, or to a distant childhood memory, each year I take a long meditation retreat
the truth is we always react to our immediate bodily sensations. If we are of a month or two. It is not an escape
outraged that somebody insulted our nation or our god, what makes the from reality. It is getting in touch with
insult unbearable is the burning sensations in the pit of our stomach and reality. At least for two hours a day
the band of pain that grips our heart. Our nation feels nothing, but our body I actually observe reality as it is,
really hurts. while for the other 22 hours
I get overwhelmed by emails
You want to know what anger is? Well, just observe the sensations that and tweets and cute-puppy
arise and pass in your body while you are angry. I was 24 years old when videos. Without the focus
I went to this retreat, and had experienced anger probably 10 000 times and clarity provided by this
previously, yet I had never bothered to observe how anger actually feels. practice, I could not have
Whenever I had been angry, I focused on the object of my anger – something written Sapiens or Homo
somebody did or said – rather than on the sensory reality of the anger. Deus. At least for me,
meditation never came
I think I learned more about myself and about humans in general by into conflict with scientific
observing my sensations for these 10 days than I learned in my whole life research. Rather, it has
up to that point. And to do so I didn’t have to accept any story, theory, or been another valuable
mythology. I just had to observe reality as it is. The most important thing tool in the scientific
I realised was that the deepest source of my suffering is in the patterns toolkit, especially
of my own mind. When I want something and it doesn’t happen, my mind when trying to
reacts by generating suffering. Suffering is not an objective condition in the understand the
outside world. It is a mental human mind.
reaction generated by my
own mind. Learning this kulula.com
is the first step towards
ceasing to generate
more suffering.

232 DECEMBER 2018





CONNECT & COLLECTTHINGS WORTH HAVING DISCOVER

1 Innovation for the Blind has launched bring an end to the spread of foot-borne the worldwide web is where you’ll find 6
Blindiana, a coffee range packed by the diseases and infections derived from 1.5 many exciting local offerings.
visually impaired. Produced in collaboration billion children going barefoot. vosk.co.za
with Beans for Africa, the range runs from A pioneer of South African ecommerce,
dark roast Blindiana Beans to a medium-to- 4 Shimansky has crafted the perfect gift kitchenware retailer Yuppiechef launched
mild roast Blue Mountain blend which has for December. These tanzanite rings with back in 2006, in the lounge of one of its
a smooth, spicy, rich citrus flavour. Blindiana micro set brilliant cut diamonds in 18K founders. Their first walk-in store opened
is found at Checkers and Shoprite stores in white gold showcase this month’s official in the Cape last year, with a second now
the Western Cape – or you can visit the birthstone. Incidentally, tanzanite is said to operating at the V&A Waterfront, offering
Blindiana Barista Coffee Shop in Worcester, be 1 000 times more rare than diamond, so shoppers a multi-platform experience that
where you might be attended to by Joseph perhaps something from the jeweller’s will become the norm for many brands,
Matheatau, South Africa’s first blind barista. Ayanda Queen of Tanzanite collection is the according to trends analysts.
innovationfortheblind.org ultimate gift. shimansky.com yuppiechef.com

2 The Trenery Guild has collaborated 5 With Amazon’s new eight-story Cape 6 For those who prefer their season’s
with award-winning artist Banele Khoza to Town building, ecommerce is only on the up favourite tipple in a festive-yet-stylish
create an artwork inspired by Trenery’s in South Africa. But apart from the package, Johnnie Walker has brought out
December pattern and colour palette. It’s imminent expansion of the global giants, a range of limited edition gift packs inspired
been printed on a silk scarf that will by the character of each of its iconic
accompany qualifying purchases as a gift to 4 whiskies. They’re bold, stylish designs, such
lucky customers. Khoza, who is known for as this one by Tom Dixon.
his colourful figurative paintings recently johnniewalker.com
opened his own working studio exhibition
space, BKhz, at 68 Juta in Braamfontein, 7 For racing enthusiasts, 15 December
Joburg. woolworths.co.za marks the opening of the Summer of
Champions, kicking off with the World
3 New sneaker and apparel brand Vosk Sports Betting Cape Fillies Guineas
is a stellar example of what’s possible in (Grade 1) races at Kenilworth Racecourse.
a digital marketplace. Founder Wesley Vos On the day, there’ll be a Christmas Market
has followed the sales model of America’s to keep enthusiasts entertained between
Toms or Roma boots: for every pair sold, the races. Plus, there’ll be a secure
another is given to a person in need. Joining children’s entertainment area on course,
forces with Samaritan’s Feet, Vos aims to with lucky dip gifts and guest appearances
by Father Christmas. wsb.co.za

7

23 5 DECEMBER 2018 235

kulula.com

DISCOVER THINGS WORTH HAVING

8

8 Shimansky has scents for him and van der Merwe and Frits van Ryneveld of
her that’ll make great stocking fillers
this Christmas. Their My Girl Darling Sweet produce a range of
Perfume has a flowery top
note with hints of melon and toffees and other sweet treats under the
peach, followed by a middle
note of rose and jasmine, all 9 Proudly South African banner. Aside
underscored by a woody, musky,
light spicy base. Captivated Pour from their classic toffee variety, they
Homme, meanwhile, blends rich
woody base notes with herbal make intriguing flavoured toffees
aromatic top notes for a manly scent.
shimansky.com such as honey and salt or

liquorice and mint, and they’ve

added honey and other

10 sweets to their range.
darlingsweet.co.za

9 Nompumelelo Mqwebu is 11 12 Fokofpolisiekar has
a self-published author and her recipe 12 a new EP, Droom Hoog, that’s
tome Through the Eyes of an African available to stream right now –
Chef claimed the prestigious ‘Best in the plus, if you’re old school and prefer
World for Self-Publishing’ award at the CD or even collectible vinyl,
2018 Gourmand World Cookbook it comes with disturbingly surreal
Awards. The book highlights fresh, cover art.
sustainable African ingredients and
brings often-underutilised foods to the 13 Journalist Rebecca Davis quit
fore. It’s also a great source of recipes drinking and then tried to figure out how
for favourite African dishes. Buy it from sober folks stay sane in a world that
the Proudly South African seems increasingly deranged and
website. proudlysa.co.za bedraggled. Her book, Self Helpless
– A Cynic’s Search for Sanity reveals the
10 Among Mzansi’s most results of her quest for personal Words: Keith Bain, Nicci Collier, Pictures: Supplied
celebrated fashion designers, wellness, spiritual enlightenment and
Gavin Rajah also creates good old-fashioned happiness that
homeware. His new lifestyle involved full-on immersion in the
collection for @home world of auras, chakras, hallucinogenic
celebrates time spent in India. His Indian drugs, sweat lodges, sangomas, past lives
Summer range includes bed throws, and much more.
soft furnishings and pillows that are
intricately detailed with vibrant prints 13 14 Purveyors of high-quality leather
and meticulous embellishments. 14 goods, Cape Town-based Jekyll & Hide
gavinrajah.com produces travel and business bags,
handbags, belts, jackets, wallets and
11 In the sweet little West Coast purses. We love this Oxford duffel bag
hamlet of Darling, confectioners Hentie for its timeless-yet-modern good looks –
it’s ideal for one-bag travelling.
jekyllandhide.co.za

236 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com





BOOKS FOR THE BEACH AND BEYOND DISCOVER

BIGTHE READ

1 One of South Africa’s most iconic 1 4 Journalist Kimon de Greef and
voices, Pieter-Dirk Uys has been creating ex-convict Shuhood Abader teamed up to
status-quo-questioning satire for four 2 co-author Poacher – Confessions from
decades. In his new autobiography, The the Abalone Underworld, a book that
Echo of a Noise – A Memoir of Then and 3 sheds light on one of the least known crime
Now, he weaves together the story of an 5 syndicates. Abader, himself a poacher for
incredible life, evocatively describing the 15 years, started writing his story after he
characters who helped form him along the was locked up for doing the dirty work of
way. From his musical but forbidding father what is revealed to be a vast and deadly
and strudel-baking German grandmother, criminal network, a black market that links
to his love of Sophia Loren and creation of our coast’s disappearing perlemoen to Cape
Evita Bezuidenhout, it’s a gorgeous funny Flats tik gangs and the Chinese luxury
read about a living legend. seafood market.

2 We featured him on the cover of our 4 5 An illustrated storybook relating
July issue but somehow it feels as though a truly homegrown fairy tale, The
Zapiro is always with us, constantly Blacksmith and the Dragonfly is about
challenging us to think more deeply about a young prince who is heir to the throne but
the world’s ever-unfolding nonsense. falls in love with the daughter of
Published by Jacana, Let the Sunshine In a blacksmith. When his enemies use
is the latest compendium of his satirical a wicked spell to turn him into a dragonfly,
cartoons, covering the resignation of Zuma his beloved Ndiliswa, who dreams of being
(who tried in vain to silence Zapiro), the a great warrior, must save him. Turning
megalomania of Trump, the fleeing of the gender stereotypes on their head and
Guptas, and the ongoing corruption-blitz reimagining ideals of heroism, love and
undertaken by Cyril Ramaphosa. Great for enchantment, the book is great for
the beach, great as a gift, you could even youngsters discovering the magic of reading.
win a copy – turn to page 21.

Words: Keith Bain, Pictures: Supplied 3 The Reject is the long-awaited 6 6 Japanese author Haruki Murakami has
sequel to Edyth Bulbring’s best-selling produced some of the world’s most
young adult novel, The Mark. Published enchanting novels. His latest is Killing
by Tafelberg, it’s set in the vicinity of Commendatore, about a Tokyo-based
war-torn Mangeria and follows the portraitist whose wife abandons him. In the
story of Juliet Seven, prophesied to be mountain home of a famous artist, he
‘The One’, who lands up on a boat that discovers a strange painting in the attic,
gets pirated by a Reject boy. The ensuing opening a cycle of odd events that sends
adventure is full of unexpected twists him on a mysterious quest that includes
and turns and makes for a great travelling through an underworld haunted
summer read. by Double Metaphors.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 239

DISCOVER BARRY’S STUFF

YOUR COUSIN
Pictures: Supplied
ASK BARRY

Barry Hilton’s latest invention is a card game called Smart Ask. ‘It’s a quiz game that I had under wraps for
six years,’ says Barry, ‘because I wasn’t sure I had it right.’ He says he made 38 alterations to the original
design before finally unleashing it on the world. ‘It’s like Trivial Pursuit but all the questions ask for answers
in multiples of three. People ask me where the answers are. But most of these questions have thousands of
possible correct answers, so it’s a creative quiz game with endless possibilities.’

BARRY ON THE BOX BRAAI WITH BARRY

Grey Matters is Barry’s most recent 75-minute stand-up Celebrate your South Africanness
comedy special. The live recorded show is available to watch with Barry Hilton’s ‘Nou Gaan Ons
on Showmax and BoxOffice, and there’s a DVD for purchase in Braai’ range of T-shirts and other
merchandise. mycousin.co.za.
stores, too.

240 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com





ixeddrinks THE BIG SIP DISCOVER

M Wondering what you could –

or should – be sipping,

quaffing, swigging or

swilling this summer? We

present a mixed batch of

liquid libations for every

taste and occasion

HO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF…

Musician and psytrance DJ James Copeland has always had a flair for crafting mind-bendy tunes. Now, as the distiller behind
award-winning Copeland Rum, he’s mixing bold, exciting flavours with just as much drama and oomph as his bass-driven sets.
His small-batch, additive-free rum is distilled and hand-bottled on the Cape Peninsula, and James says his quest has resulted
in flavours that are ‘deep and tropical, fruity and caramelised, perfect for daiquiris’. And, if you’re sipping, you might detect hints
of litchi skin, pineapple and cacao on the palate. copelandrum.com

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 243

DISCOVER THE BIG SIP

OLÉ

The latest small-batch potion to flow out of Silver Creek Craft Distillery is Margarita Southern Moonshine. The unaged
American-style moonshine has already won its first gold prize – at the 2018 SA Women’s Wine & Spirits Awards – and is super-
handy for summer as it requires no mixing, no fuss. Its moonshine jug design bottle contains everything you need for margarita-
fuelled fun. Just pour over ice and you’re good to go. silvercreekdistillery.co.za

A ROYAL SUMMER LIQUID ENERGY

If you’re forgoing alcohol, but love a The makers of Xcite Energy Cider have
strong flavour in your mouth, you’re fermented the juice of pressed Golden
probably already familiar with The Delicious apples and combined that with
Duchess range of aromatic virgin gin guarana to produce a perky drink that’ll
and tonics. The latest flavour variant give you a boost – perfect if you’ve had a
is The Duchess Greenery and is long, hard day on the beach and need to go
infused with garden extracts such all night on the dance floor.
as rosemary, lime leaves and hints
of cucumber. Perfect for a carefree
summer. theduchess.co.za

BOTTLED DESSERT

Wilderer, an artisanal distiller of gins and
grappa and other fine spirits, has added
an upmarket hillbilly dop to its range.
The new Rogue Apple Pie Moonshine
has been crafted from a secret blend of
spices – think cinnamon, nutmeg and
ginger – and is made with natural apple
juice. It’s sweet and crisp and tastes just
like apple pie. You can drink it on the rocks
or mix it into a cocktail. wilderer.co.za

244 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com





THE BIG SIP DISCOVER

SHOWING SOME SKIN JOIN THE AFRICAN RUM REVOLUTION

If the next bottle of Amarula you In possibly the last place you’d expect to find even an inkling
pick up looks like its changed its skin, of a rum revolution, a small team is using molasses from KZN
that’s because the creamy marula and brown sugar from Swaziland to produce a strong sugar beer
fruit-derived spirit has teamed up which they distil and barrel-age to create Whistler African Style
with a number of African artists Rum – there’s a spiced and a dark version. The small-batch spirit is
and designers to create four bottles distilled and bottled on a farm somewhere in the middle of nowhere –
showcasing the creative spirit of the between the towns of Riebeeckstad and Henneman in the Free State. It’s now
continent. The bold, sophisticated the biggest rum distillery in the country. whistlerrum.co.za
designs include one by South Africa’s
own Siphathisiwe Hlongwane, perfect DITCH THE PLONK
for seasonal gifting. amarula.com
It’s that time of the year when
FOR SWEET TOOTHS bubbly sales skyrocket, but rather
than opting for the usual cheap
Just when you thought you’d heard plonk that you’ll probably spray all
it all, the makers of the Idiom range over yourself and your friends at
of wines have decided to offer a midnight on NYE, why not invest
tastebud-riddling pairing of various in a bottle of Pongrácz Blanc
vinos (including an imported de Blancs – it was the overall
Prosecco) with suitably flavoured champion wine at this year’s
macarons. Sweet-toothed tipplers Veritas Awards. The bubbly is
will enjoy their late harvest made from 100% Chardonnay
Viognier, known as Imperium White grapes using the traditional
Gold, paired with a lemon macaron, French method to produce
for example. The Wine & Macaron an intensely fruity flavour
Experience is available at Idiom, with zesty citrus aromas.
in the Helderberg from Sunday pongracz.co.za
through Friday, until February.
idiom.co.za 

kulula.com DECEMBER 2018 247

DISCOVER THE BIG SIP

BLUSHING GIN

The purveyors of Italy’s most prettily bottled gin have come up with a blush-hued variant, Malfy Gin Rosa. The spirit combines
pink grapefruit from southern Italy with rhubarb flavours for a refreshing take on gin-fuelled summer. With a complex finish, it
can be mixed into cocktails or sipped with slices of grapefruit. malfygin.com

ITALIAN BUBBLES GRACE FROM THE CAPE

Prosecco is Italy’s take on bubbly Made from Chardonnay grapes, Grace du Roi Cape Gold is a
and one of the favourites available flavoursome, highly quaffable MCC-style bubbly perfect for a memorable
locally is Da Luca, from a Sicilian NYE celebration – or to enjoy throughout the festive summer season.
winery. However, to produce their Grown in the vicinity of Paarl, selected for their balance of sweetness
Prosecco, they use grapes from and acidity, and then harvested at night to maintain their freshness,
these grapes ensure a premium flavour MCC with hints of green apple
Treviso in the Veneto region in and pear on the palate. There’s also a blush-hued Cape Rose MCC
the north of Italy. Their original (pictured) that might remind you of raspberries and cream. 
Prosecco is a fairly low-alcohol
MCC with fresh peach and
apple flavours and a touch
of sweetness. They’ve also
released a Prosecco rosé
using a blend of Merlot and
Raboso grapes.
facebook.com/dalucaprosecco

FOR TEETOTALLERS Pictures: Supplied

If alcohol’s not your thing, then you might want to try the Breva range of natural malt-based, lightly carbonated, fruit-flavoured drinks.
Flavours include pineapple, apple, peach and passion fruit, and there’s now a pair of virgin gin and tonics available – they come in herby or
spicy flavour profiles. The entrepreneur behind Breva is Gladys Mawoneke who turned her own lifestyle choice into a range of drinks you
can pick up at Pick n Pay, Spar and Checkers. breva.co.za

248 DECEMBER 2018 kulula.com