Bundy Echo #8 Delilah

BundyEchoFree THE GOOD NEWS

# 8 Delilah • Wednesday 19 July – Wednesday 2 August 2017

Local and Independent

FRACTURED AND FRAGMENTED

CoBmECunopntSrmedpermyehtec’sautniannsciimtvuyeelanrt

Welcome to Delilah
There is so much going
on in Bundaberg . . . it is ‘Here’s looking at you, babe’ Hello
hard to include everything
(especially when folks don’t EmTee, 2017 First of all, what a wonderful publication you have. I really
tell us everything!). enjoyed reading something independent. An ineffable publication
in these here parts of regional cane country.
I have had such a great I particularly enjoyed the Jack French piece. I’m a second
fortnight . . . drumming, generation Kinks’ fan, part of the same School alumni, but some
singing, food markets, 40 odd years later! It was great to read about Sir Ray and his
interviews with local cricket influence. Good on ya!
bat makers, bird watchers Aaron Brown, Bundaberg
and movie reviewers. We
have been inundated with Donald Smith, the Opera Singer
requests from local talent of
all genres to be showcased What an amazing revelation ! It is sad sometimes when
in our publication. Bundaberg gets tossed around as a lousy town but we have
produced so much talent and it is still flowing, you guys keep
As always, keep sending showing us that. Keep it up.
us your ‘thing’ and we will Jax Gordon, Burnett Heads
keep promoting your ‘thing’.
Dr ‘Tyrant’ Tyson juggles the jibblies
We have Lord Barron
Anon this issue discussing Zelda is your best edition yet and that’s saying something! Every
his amazing move from article scintillates, sparkles and shines. As a medical practitioner,
Dorset to Bundaberg and I have a duty of care to step onto the soap box with Ms Nolan (if
also Brooke Petersen there is room).
from the Rum City Derby Gentleman, there is a reason why your scrotum is an ugly wrinkly
Dolls contributing for the bag. It is supposed to be! Spermatozoa are very finicky. Like
first time. Local musician a fine red wine they perform best when stored at an ambient
Matthew Barker has also temperature. When it’s cold, as you well know from diving into
written an interesting the surf at Kellys Beach in July, your testicles scream in fright and
piece. Thanks again to our creep up behind your ears. If it’s hot, the scrotum relaxes and lets
regular contributors – John the breeze cool those little wrigglers.
Campbell, Mandy Nolan, A tight, taut botoxed bag will result in lethargic, dysfunctional or
Bitemark and Freddy even dead little sperm. You will not be bestowing the incredible gift
Hardman. of YOUR DNA to the world. (That’s why the mega tight jeans of the
70s were not a good look.) Those promoting the BBB (botoxed ball
BUNDY ECHO IS TAKING A BREATHER TO bag) deserve to be castrated.
Concerned medico,
REGROUP AND RESTRUCTURE. THANK YOU Dr Annette Tyson, Bargara

TO EVERYONE WHO KEEPS US BOUYANT. P.S. Dr Jane Truscott for Prime Minister ! Truscotts trains were magic, as
generations of Bundaberg children will confirm. Also, Mrs Truscott untiring-
WE WILL BE BACK ly made cakes and biscuits which she sold on train days to raise money for
BIGGERER AND BETTERER IN AUGUST. deaf children.

Hang in there folks and keep sending Please don’t leave me
The nice
stuff, the fat lady hasn’t sung yet ! I thoroughly read every word . . . truly find it the best read
and the articles are both informative and humorous – keeps
[email protected] the reader engaged all the way through. Please don’t cease
bundyecho.com.au publication. I will share and promote as much as I can . . . it is
facebook.com/bundyecho just great.
0417 659 635 • 4152 1086 Denise Long, Moore Park
Bundy Echo is published
fortnightly and distributed Where in the hell is . . . this exclusive club ?
on Wednesday. See back
page for distributers. I love the Bundy Echo and I am particularly fond of Bitemark.
I flip to page 21 first, every issue. I know it’s an ‘exclusive
**All information provided is correct at the gentleman’s club’ but is there a way a girl can gain access, maybe
time of printing, however we recommend as a bar maid or something. I love turtles, if that helps.
checking with the venue as last minute changes Trudy Hopkins, Gin Gin
can happen (and we also make mistakes – not
too many we hope ! )** It’s been an entertaining toads vs roaches

I only saw your paper on the afternoon of State of Origin. What
a laugh. Wankers from front to back. Freddy Hardman is a
tool and doesn’t know anything about football anyway, like his
column says.
Queenslander, Ray O’Neill, Bargara

DISCLAIMER: The information in the Bundy Echo is for information purposes only.
Bundy Echo assumes no liability or responsibility for any inaccurate, delayed or incomplete
information, nor for any actions taken in reliance thereon. The information contained about
each individual, event or organisation has been provided by such individual, event organisers
or organisation. The opinion expressed in each article is the opinion of its author and does not
necessarily reflect the opinion of the Bundy Echo. Therefore, Bundy Echo publication carries
no responsibility for the opinion expressed thereon. Comments are welcome, but they should
be on-topic and well-expressed.

2 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

LORD BARROW ANON temperature dropped to “Keep it quiet” they say,
-5 in the afternoon. After “don’t let on or they’ll all
a short stop in Singapore, come out and ruin it”.
ESCAPED THE a whirlwind rush between
RAIN DRENCHED airports in Brisbane, we We’re a secret society
PURGATORY OF climbed aboard the smallest of Poms, hiding in your
BRITAIN TO SETTLE IN plane we had ever been on. Schools, Hospitals,
sunshine-hogging university and around your
BUNDABERG We were headed for pretty town. We’re shunned
Bundaberg, a place we by our Sydney Poms. Looked
How sweet it had not even heard of upon with sadness and
is to be loved until 9 months before, as sympathy by our Brisbane
we interviewed online for Brits. But we don’t care.
potential teaching jobs. It Stay in the city, pay your
by you . . . was early afternoon, the ridiculous house prices.
plane was warm and we We Bundy Poms are in the
stuck to the leather seats as promised land and there’s
the Captain announced, “It’s no way we’d have it overrun
a typical December day in by people we desperately
Bundaberg, we expect high tried to escape.
humidity, heavy rain this
Boxing Day 2014, I sat in and their mother, my wife, evening and a high of 36”. Truthfully, England is
the back of a Taxi driving who had become like her a great country that I do
away from the tropical own child over the last 15 Bloody hell! What on hold close. There’s no way
trees and hot bitumen of years. earth have we done? I’d put Bundy folk off from
Bundaberg airport. We sped visiting. But I know they’ll
past the smoking chimneys, I could see in her eyes According to the English, be back. We’re an enclave
half barrel and unfamiliar there was more to it if you traced your finger of beauty, we’re in heaven.
wooden houses. We hit the than just the thought of along a map of Queensland, The weather is sweeter than
Bargara Road as the music missing us. I mean, she it would start at the Gold our most prevalent crop,
on the radio sunk in. Like must have been thinking, Coast, pass Brisbane, we’re the salad bowl of this
tall sentinels, the mellifluous where the bloody hell is Sunshine Coast (Noosa), vast land and the people
Bundaberg? Is it not just Fraser Island… then hit are truly beautiful. I even
thoroughly enjoy how much
sugar cane played along image: www.hinklerresearch.org.au/ a few of the local people
with the gentle music as we hate the place! It’s hilarious.
gazed upon it and marveled Chat to your average Bundy
at the size of the sweet crop born and bred, they’ll tell
we now take for granted. you it’s “dole capital”.
Go back only two months They’ll say it’s “full of
before, I was enjoying a bogans, backpackers and
night out in my home city of the eternally bored”.
London, saying goodbye to
some of my oldest friends I say bullshit.
whom I may never see It’s full of real people,
again. Boys, now men in living in a real place born of
their thirties, who I grew its only hill. They share rich
up with on a cold, damp red mud, an iridescent deep
London housing estate. blue ocean, golden sand,
“I can’t believe you’re a sweet tasting Rum you Hamilton Island, Cairns and peaceful ethereal rivers
can only buy in Walkabout? Port Douglas. According stroked by the recumbent
moving to Oz mate. I Walkabout by the way, to us ignorant Pommies, limbs of trees which grow
mean, where is bleeding is the worst type of bar there is no life for nearly impressively oblique, a
Bundaberg? I thought it was England has to offer. Full a thousand kilometers. vivid blue sky and on land
a German Polar Bear on a of Outback paraphernalia, Nothing. Not even a spleen frequented by beautiful
bottle of Rum?” said Tom, the filthy stench of XXXX splitting Kangaroo, death souls for thousands of
completely confused as to soaked into the mock oak inducing Spider, slithering years.
why I would want to leave bars. Those sticky bars snake or crooked croc. Leave for university,
the country, my friends, are covered in the tanned The Bruce Highway is for drive – fly – walk out for
family and dream job in a elbows and weak beers of murderers and cowboys the money of the mines and
magnificent, quintessentially overly loud, overly proud driving Land Cruisers or bright lights of the cities.
English school a stone’s Australian men cheering trucks longer than small Say you will never return.
throw from the coast of on every single sport that towns in England. It turns Although, like the baby
Dorset, England. Australians are involved out we couldn’t be more Turtles born on the fringes
in. Once, I was forced to of Mon Repos, on the wings
On the 24th of December of the man who named his
2014, 56 hours before that English home after that
taxi ride, I was sitting in spend the afternoon in a wrong and have been wonderful spot, you will
missing out in a big way. bloody return!
a Heathrow airport café Walkabout in Bournemouth, There are English people
looking very solemn. My there were Australian men
here in Bundy who know
mother said goodbye as cheering wildly at the Grand that it is a true hidden gem
she cried. She was saying Final of Tractor Pulling on which no overseas mining
goodbye to her first born. Eurosport. company could dig out
Saying farewell to her two We left London that successfully, but we aren’t
beautiful granddaughters day, Christmas Eve, as the prepared to tell anyone.

Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 3

BundyEchoBundyEchoFree
THE GOOD NEWS

THE GOOD NEWS

# 8 Delilah • Wednesday 19 July – Wednesday 2 August 2017

Local and Independent

FRACTURED AND FRAGMENTED 2 Fairymead Road
North Bundaberg

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CoBmECunopntSrmedpermyehtec’sautniannsciimtvuyeelanrt delilah Janda is the
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who (he paid us $50 to say that hahaha)
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4 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

pufflings. I kid you not! Soooo Children rescue them and
cute!! hide them in cardboard
On the Faroe islands they boxes from the greedy
eat lots of them. I have this gourmABaNnd92is1in5g0 1g9r6o4w0n0ups,
doneligcoiooudsaIuctehlaonridtyicfrgoumiTdeEa. LEPHOrneigtNuhrtEns:ion4gth1teh5es1mku1tao8st7wh3eonsteacaattch
I wish I’d listened to all tEhme ail:[email protected]
A.A. Vane otherSthhoinpgs4,h1e3s3aiBdatrogoa,rlaikRe;oad BuIncdelaabnedrgis Qabldso4l6u7te0ly

‘Make sure you walk very amazing. You must go there.
carefully on the glacier or However, please don’t order
Weird Bird Person you will spike your crampons the smoked puffin on the
deep into your legs.’ (Yes it tourist menu. The reindeer
was a teeny bit embarassing tastes much better.
and extremely painful.) I wish my readers to
As Delilah was such a nasty they are useless for flight Anyway, like our own note that I have not been
piece of work, I thought you but super for underwater baby turtles, pufflings get sponsored by “Travel Iceland”
might need cheering up, so freestyle. confused by lights and end up but I would really, really,
today I shall discuss that clown wandering the local streets. really like to be.
of the sea, Fratercula arcticas, I fell in love with these
the puffin. birds last year in Iceland TELEPHONE: 4151 1873 EMAIL: shop
where it is possible to get Shop 4, 133 Bargara Road, Bun
Yes I know its not an very close to them. I was
Australian bird and I dont give unknowingly sitting beside Check out Ms Vane’s art
two hoots. (Puffins dont hoot a burrow when its owner instagram.com/annavaneart/
either. They make a noise like a popped out and sat beside
chainsaw.) me, enjoying the view. with
Im sure it needed a break
The puffin is an irresistible from the kids. They demand
creature, with its rainbow constant feeding with sand
beak and stubby wings. The eels for 50 days until they’re
gorgeous beak is, however, fledged and leave home
temporary (like having fake for life on the high seas,
nails) and its coloured parts fall never landing again until it’s
off, leaving it pale grey, when breeding time.
the breeding season is over.
Baby puffins are called
As for the ridiculous wings,

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Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 5

JOHN CAMPBELL Thuespedeotpolbe ewe
wonders who
invited all the
old people to his
school reunion

A little while back I got a call Keit insisted that, because – and that Macka was already rang Rhonda to ask her to
from Clueless, an old school we were seated together in as pissed as a parrot. the pictures, only to be told
buddy. maths, I was his friend. And by her sister that she was
I realised that I needed him But who IS that woman in shampooing her hair.
There was a class reunion to be there that night for my the spray-on jeans and AC/
planned and he reckoned we own redemption even more DC T-shirt, I wondered? Such ‘I’m Katerine … but you
should make an effort to join than I wanted Dog Barlow to a brazen outfit, especially probably remember me as
the rest of the gang. have migrated to Patagonia. with the stilettoes, but she Keit. Keit Norty.’
Dog devoted years 10, 11 and pulled it off with outrageous
‘We only have to go as far 12 of our secondary schooling panache. Blokes were ‘Keith Northy!’ I spluttered.
as the RSL.’ to making my life a misery. mesmerised. The ladies ‘What are you doing later
He bashed up kids for fun looked daggers at her. tonight, Johnny?’
Ordinarily I would avoid and it was rumoured that he Nothing venture, nothing
any such function like actually screwed a chick from Suddenly the place was gain, I figured.
the plague, but Clueless the convent school. buzzing and I couldn’t believe ‘I’ll meet you outside.’
happened to mention that how much I was enjoying Naughty Keit.
Rhonda, beautiful Rhonda So you could have bet the myself, notwithstanding
was back in town and that sheep station on it – the first the marauding figure of
she would be there for sure. person I saw was Dog Barlow Dog Barlow. Why could
… or at least I thought it I not wipe the smile off
‘And anyway, mate,’ he was Dog. He was as bald as my face? Was it because
went on, ‘you know what a billiard ball and had gone everyone else – except
everyone’s calling you now, to fat, but I gave him a wide for the glamour in the T
don’t you?’ berth anyway. It’s better to be – looked old and I didn’t?
safe than sorry I always say. Or, shock horror!, maybe
‘What’s that, Clueless?’ I was as worn and frayed
‘The Eternal Flame … I headed straight for the at the edges as the rest of
never goes out.’ bar to grab a beer, then burnt the desperate gathering?
Hmphh! I decided to make my tongue on the freshly laid Self-delusion is the only
an appearance. out spring rolls. There was weapon we have in the
As the evening drew closer, no sign of Keit yet, or Rhonda futile fight against ageing.
I found myself gripped by for that matter … unless …
macabre fascination and unless she was that woman My gaze kept returning
flowery nostalgia. How kind who has been Botoxed to the to the Acca/Dacca dame.
or otherwise would the point of facial paralysis. OMG! There was something
years have been to my fellow Beauitful Rhonda! No no no! familiar … I took the
classmates? Rhonda was … and who was that hornbag plunge and approached
foremost in my mind, but I who just swanned in? her.
had to admit that there were
others about whom I was Opening conversations She had a surprisingly
curious. Macka and Jimbo, were cautious and over- firm handshake. I like that
Walker and Reg. And poor polite. Everybody was looking in a woman.
Keith Northy. over the shoulder of the
Keith was the kid that person they were speaking ‘I’m so sorry,’ I
the boys picked on because with to see who else had stammer­ed, but I just
of his differentness. Pimply turned up. A clique of former can’t remember your
plump Prudence, for obvious prefects and do-gooders name. You WERE in our
reasons, was the girls’ pariah. were discussing house prices year, weren’t you?’
Quietly spoken and effete, and bragging about their
Keith had thick-lensed Clark talented kids, while word ‘Oh yes, most certainly,
Kent glasses and a hearing spread like wildfire that Reg Johnny.’
aid the size of a walnut. We had been incarcerated in the
mocked him mercilessly for Maryborough Correctional Johnny? I liked that too.
his speech impediment that Centre for turning his garage She took a sip from her
had him pronounce ‘thing’ into a meth lab – ‘he was glass of Chateau Chunder.
as ‘ting’ and ‘Thursday’ as Bundy’s Walter White,’ Walker ‘Ghastly wine, isn’t it?’
‘tursday’. We called him gushed with improper pride. I she squinted.
‘Keit’. I wonder was he aware noticed Jimbo making a move ‘Um, yes … but … ’
of that? on the Chinese girl – what ‘You still can’t place
Walking up the steps to the was her name again? Junji Li? me, can you.’ She softly
RSL, I cringed with guilt at the touched my forearm as
embarrassment I felt when she said it.
My heart was pounding
… like it did when I

6 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

Make up your own mind

MATthew BARKER RESPONDS TO OUR QUESTION . . .

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE LOCAL MUSIC SCENE ?

Born in Victoria, I don’t band, so in order to work job, but you lose your hobby In my experience, it would
remember too much from my up the courage to talk to and passion. All work and be easy for me to say the
childhood these days. I do her I started learning the no play makes Matt a dull problem is venues aren’t
know that I have always had a saxophone. She left the band boy. It has been fun, and I paying the musicians or are
passion for music. Singing to and I continued on, all the am proud of my persistence cancelling bookings two days
Bob Seger, George Thorogood way to university where I as I have achieved some out from a performance. I
and Louis Armstrong in the studied a Bachelor of Music remarkable goals.I have could say that the problem
back seat of the car as a on saxophone, with a focus recorded and released a is venues expect musicians
child, to lip syncing Bon Jovi on Jazz. number of albums for other to draw in a crowd and
for show and tell at Primary musicians as well as my musicians expect the venues
school. After completing University own original compositions, I to draw in the crowd.
I was left with a degree and have toured Australia with a
I began guitar lessons no real life direction. I began variety of bands and played I could say so in order
early although only a few teaching myself guitar and some remarkable gigs. I have to cut costs we have gone
lessons in, I gave up to ride singing in order to get myself endless stories from my from full band line ups to
motorbikes. I was and still am by between saxophone gigs. carefree days which hopefully soloist or DJ’s. I could say
terrible at motorbike riding, Playing guitar and singing I can share with you all in due out of town agencies that are
and well anything mechanical. took over and I have been time. I guess now though I am booking local performances
My parents moved around a a full time self employed tired and worn out. are exploiting musicians
lot so we never really stayed musician for about ten years by deducting fees from the
in one place longer than three now. The last few years for musicians themselves. I
years. I think between Prep me have totally changed, could say that there are
and Year Twelve I attended My parents always said one from sleeping in my car too many experienced
approximately ten different of the most important things or on a random couch in a musicians snowballing
schools. in life is to do something that town I don’t recall, to now gigs for themselves while
you love because it will never having a family with three unexperienced musicians are
I think this fact, for be work. small children, rates and a undercharging and producing
one, helped to embed an mountain of responsibilities. a dismal product.
introverted quality that I rely Maybe I have become old It was a difficult path to get
on with my music. I had a and bitter, however I don’t where I am and I lost my way I could say that audiences
crush on my primary school believe in that. Once you turn quite a few times, but now do not care anymore and
sweetheart who played your hobby into a full time in my personal life I have a that the live music scene
the saxophone in concert job you lose the spark and sense of direction. died eight years ago, now
not only do you hate your audiences want four hours of
Music however still Horses by Daryl Braithwaite
confuses me. It has the power and Summer of 69 by Bryan
to embrace my thoughts Adams. I could say this, but I
and feelings, giving me the probably shouldn’t.
freedom to express what it
is I need to say. However it What’s wrong with the
also seems to have trapped Bundaberg Music Scene?
me in a world of anxiety and You can make up your
restlessness. own mind. Maybe it is
nothing, maybe it is the same
This seems to be a everywhere, that is up to
common issue with a lot of you to decide. We are just a
musicians and artists that I small country town after all.
know. So what is wrong with me ?
I have spent my life learning,
I was approached to give studying and creating music,
my view on what was wrong spent tens of thousands of
with the local music scene. dollars on education and
Bundaberg seems to be equipment, and as my main
guarded and restrictive when source of income for the
it comes to local musicians. past decade, I regularly have
My initial reaction was, well to entertain and endure
who really cares what I think. abuse by drunks, or just as
It is easier to blame someone insulting be snubbed and
else and assume that we ignored. I guess this is the
ourselves are doing no wrong. price we pay for our art.
matthewbarkermusic.com/

Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 7

gigguide

Wednesday 19 July ■ METRO HOTEL 8PM Billy Guy, what a guy!
MATTHEW BARKER at the Bundy services
■ OLD BUNDY TAVERN club : July 19, 21, 22 and 23
7PM TRIVIA NIGHT ■ E AST END HOTEL
5-6.30PM RAFFLES
■ Q UEENSLANDER 6-8PM JAG THE JOKER
HOTEL 9.30PM
KARAOKE WITH RICK ■ S UGARLAND TAVERN
8PM BRENDAN EGAN
■ M ETRO HOTEL 7PM
MUSIC BINGO ■ RIVERFEAST from 4PM
THE C FACTOR + MATT
■ B UNDABERG FASSO
SERVICES CLUB 6PM
BILLY GUY ■ BUNDABERG
SERVICES CLUB 6PM
■ B UCCA HOTEL 7.30PM BILLY GUY
POOL NIGHT
■ W AVES SPORTS CLUB
Thursday 20 July DANI / JODIE LEE

■ G RAND HOTEL ■ B ROTHERS SPORTS
CHECK THEIR FB CLUB 8PM ABLE
MAGWITCH
■ O LD BUNDY TAVERN
7PM 888 POKER ■ BARGARA BEACH
HOTEL 4PM FREE BBQ
■ M ETRO HOTEL 7PM + BIKINI WAITRESS
TRIVIA 5PM RAFFLES

■ Q UEENSLANDER ■ LIGHTHOUSE HOTEL,
HOTEL 8PM POOL BURNETT HEADS 6PM
COMP MATTY BAKER

■ E AST END HOTEL ■ CLUB HOTEL DJ
5-8PM RAFFLES
■ AT THE VENUE,
■ W AVES SPORTS CLUB ALLOWAY 6PM DANCE
6.30PM DEREK F SMITH NIGHT

■ B ROTHERS SPORTS Saturday 22 July
CLUB 6.30PM
CARRIZMA ■ T HE BREWHOUSE
CHECK THEIR FACEY
■ B URNETT BOWLS CLUB
7.30PM ROCK ‘N’ROLL ■ C ENTRAL HOTEL
CLASSES $3 9.30PM RESIDENT DJs

■ B ARGARA BEACH ■ Q UEENSLANDER
HOTEL 4PM FREE HOTEL 8PM POOL
SAUSAGE SIZZLE COMP
4-7PM BIKINI WAITRESS
7PM POOL COMP ■ M ETRO HOTEL 8PM
ROWAN EDWARDS
Friday 21 July
■ E AST END HOTEL 12-
■ T HE BREWHOUSE sorry 1PM RAFFLES
folks for the lack of info
here. Check their website ■ S UGARLAND TAVERN
8PM SAM MADDISON
■ CENTRAL HOTEL
9.30PM RESIDENT DJs ■ C LUB HOTEL
10PM THE
■ QUEENSLANDER ELECTRIC BANANA
HOTEL 3-6PM BIKINI CELEBRATING 10
GIRLS 9.30PM YEARS OF GIGS AND
KARAOKE WITH RICK GUESTS

8 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

STEFF MARee
METRO
SATURDAY 29

GEEZ PEEPS . . .

SEND US YOUR GIGS
it’s free ‘n’ all

■ BUNDABERG ■ W AVES SPORTS CLUB THE Naughtiest you can get in public @
SERVICES CLUB 6PM BAM SHOWCASE JANDAS (on tuesday night) & CASABLANCA
BILLY GUY ON SEE ( On Saturday night) latino
■ BROTHERS SPORTS nights.
■ B UNDABERG CLUB 6.30PM ALEX
SERVICES CLUB 6PM PEDEN Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 9
BILLY GUY
■ B ARGARA BEACH
■ WAVES SPORTS CLUB HOTEL 10-2PM FREE
8PM JODIE LEE POOL & JUKE BOX

■ BROTHERS SPORTS ■ RICKS @ BARGARA
CLUB 8PM ABLE 2:30PM SUNDAY SESH:
MAGWITCH LOCAL ARTISTS

■ B ARGARA BEACH ■ BUCCA HOTEL 1PM
HOTEL 1-4PM BIKINI TODD KEIGHTLEY
DRINK WAITRESS 4PM
FREE BBQ 7PM APL Monday 24 July
POKER
NO LISTINGS - STAY ON
■ C ASABLANCA ON THE COUCH
SEE 5-6PM SALSA &
SPANISH NIGHT Tuesday 25 July

■ AT THE VENUE, ■ J ANDAS 6-7PM LATINO
ALLOWAY 6PM LIVE NIGHT: SALSA &
LOCAL MUSIC SPANISH CLASS $12
SINGLES $20 COUPLES
Sunday 23 July
■ B ARGARA BEACH
■ JANDAS 2.30PM HOTEL 7PM TRIVIA +
SUNDAY SESH: LIVE NPL POKER
MUSIC

■ B UNDABERG
SERVICES CLUB ARVO
BILLY GUY

gigguide

Wednesday 26 July ■ Q UEENSLANDER www.rebeccarhodesart.com/2016/05/watercolor-on-cradled-wooden-panel-
HOTEL 3-6PM BIKINI and-an-updated-painting/watercolor-musician-banjo-meditation-sheet-
■ OLD BUNDY TAVERN GIRLS 9.30PM music3-rebecca_rhodes-2/
7PM TRIVIA NIGHT KARAOKE WITH RICK
■ Q UEENSLANDER ■ W AVES SPORTS CLUB
■ Q UEENSLANDER ■ METRO HOTEL 8PM HOTEL 9.30PM 8PM DAVID BARRY
HOTEL 9.30PM BRENDAN EGAN KARAOKE WITH RICK
KARAOKE ■ BROTHERS SPORTS
■ E AST END HOTEL ■ METRO HOTEL 9PM CLUB 8PM KNEE DEEP
■ M ETRO HOTEL 7PM 5-6.30PM RAFFLES STEFF MAREE
MUSIC BINGO 6-8PM JAG THE JOKER ■ BARGARA BEACH
■ C LUB HOTEL THIS ONE HOTEL 1-4PM BIKINI
■ BUNDABERG ■ S UGARLAND TAVERN TIME DRINK WAITRESS / APL
SERVICES CLUB 6PM 8PM ANDY MAC
GARY CARLON ■ E AST END HOTEL 12- ■ C LUB HOTEL THIS ONE
■ R IVERFEAST 4-10PM 1PM RAFFLES TIME AT BAND CAMP
■ W AVES SPORTS CLUB LIVE MUSIC
9.Cathy DRUMMOND ■ BUNDABERG ■ A T THE VENUE, ALLOWAY
■ B UNDABERG SERVICES CLUB 6PM 6PM LIVE MUSIC
■ B UCCA HOTEL 7.30PM SERVICES CLUB 6PM GARRY CARLON
POOL NIGHT GARRY CARLON

Thursday 27 July ■ R AILWAY HOTEL
7.30PM C.R. PRESENTS
■ GRAND HOTEL KAERULEAN +
CHECK THEIR FACEY SUPPORTS

■ O LD BUNDY TAVERN ■ W AVES SPORTS CLUB
7PM 888 POKER VIBREKA / DAVID
PERRY
■ M ETRO HOTEL 7PM
TRIVIA ■ B ROTHERS SPORTS
CLUB 8PM KNEE DEEP
■ Q UEENSLANDER
HOTEL 8PM POOL ■ B ARGARA BEACH
COMP HOTEL 4PM FREE BBQ
+ BIKINI WAITRESS
■ E AST END HOTEL 5PM RAFFLES
5-8PM RAFFLES
■ C LUB HOTEL DJ
■ B UNDABERG
SERVICES CLUB 6PM ■ LIGHTHOUSE HOTEL,
GARRY CARLON BURNETT HEADS 6PM
WAL NEILSEN
■ W AVES SPORTS CLUB
6.30PM DON COSTA ■ AT THE VENUE,
ALLOWAY 6PM DANCE
■ B ROTHERS SPORTS NIGHT
CLUB 6.30PM
CARRIZMA Saturday 29 July

■ B ARGARA BEACH ■ T HE BREWHOUSE
HOTEL 4PM FREE CHECK THEIR WEBSITE
SAUSAGE SIZZLE
4-7PM BIKINI ■ B URNETT BOWLS CLUB
WAITRESS 7PM POOL <LADIES SECTION>
COMP 1.30PM CENT SALE

Friday 28 July ■ G RAND HOTEL BEST
TO CHECK DIRECTLY
■ THE BREWHOUSE WITH THIS VENUE
CHECK THEIR WEBSITE
■ S UGARLAND TAVERN
■ CENTRAL HOTEL 8PM ANDY MAC
9.30PM RESIDENT DJs
■ C ENTRAL HOTEL
9.30PM RESIDENT DJs

10 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

Sunday 30 July ■ K YBONG ROCK & https://au.pinterest.com/pin/442971313321869414/
MINERAL FEST
■ JANDAS 2.30PM AUGUST 4-6. SeEnvedryounse hyasotuherir tthhinigng
SUNDAY SESH: LIVE
MUSIC ■ C HILDERS FESTIVAL Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 11
JULY 29
■ B UCCA HOTEL 1PM
MARK LAVENDER & ■ OCEANFEAST: TASTE
KATHRYN COAD THE REEF
AUGUST 26
■ S UGARLAND TAVERN @ BUNDABERG PORT
FAMILY FUN DAY MARINA PRECINCT

■ BUNDABERG ■ A NDREY GUGNIN
SERVICES CLUB 12PM PIANO RECITAL
GARRY CARLON JULY 26 7.30PM
CHRIST CHURCH
■ WAVES SPORTS CLUB ANGLICAN CHURCH
4.30PM JOHN ALLEN
■ RAISE YOUR GLASS:
■ B ROTHERS SPORTS PINK TRIBUTE
CLUB 6.30PM ALEX AUGUST 4
PEDEN
■ M OORE PARK BEACH
■ BARGARA BEACH ARTS FESTIVAL
HOTEL 10-2PM FREE AUGUST 18 & 19
POOL & JUKE BOX
■ D RUMMING CIRCLES
■ R ICKS @ BARGARA EVERY WEEK
2:30PM SUNDAY SESH: via Bargara pandanus
VARIOUS YOUNG group, Unity Drummers
LOCAL ARTISTS and Bundaberg
Drumming Circle. Come
Monday 31 July join the fun.

NO LISTINGS - STAY ON We can’t promote your
THE COUCH ‘thing’ if you don’t tell
us about your ‘thing’.
Tuesday 1 August
bundyecho
■ JANDAS 6-7PM LATINO @gmail.com
NIGHT

■ B ARGARA BEACH
HOTEL 7PM TRIVIA

Wednesday 2 August

■ O LD BUNDY TAVERN
7PM TRIVIA NIGHT

■ Q UEENSLANDER
HOTEL 9.30PM
KARAOKE

■ BUNDABERG
SERVICES CLUB 6PM
CLINTON HONOR

■ B UCCA HOTEL 7.30PM
POOL NIGHT

Find your Bundy Echo at Sea Side
these fine establishments
Cafe
Cadz Ol’ School Diner
5 Sylvan Drive
2 Fairymead Street, Bundaberg North MOORE PARK BEACH
4154 8111
Attention Car Enthusiasts4154 4173 • 5.30am-7pm • Closed Monday 8am-4pm

Last Sunday in the month : bring your thing!!
– what ever vintage. Parking out front and best
ever coffee and home-made treats galore.

SUNDAY 3O JULY 9AM - NOON

Hinkler Central Phone: 4154 1969
=B+eFFSaeeuueetsllihfGHui oeTl aoPrladetihonaypn+lde

FASHION
FOOD / FARM
FABULOUS
FOUR/133 Bargara Road

I WC184 Barolin St, Bundaberg

INDIGENOUS WELL-BEING CENTRE
Medical / Dental / Pyschology / Pathology
+ Guava Cafe • 1300 492 492

Elliott Heads Avenell Bros have 96 Bourbong St • 4151 3104
7 till 7 beautiful things to Est 1898
7 days
4159 6527 eat and drink from Fourth Generation family run
Gift and Homewares Emporium!

Jandas Get yourreBaudnindgyiEt cinhoohuerrceaafend enjoy

163 Bourbong St
Bundaberg
4198 1777
Open everyday

22 Commercial St, Svensson Heights

12 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

Find all our favourite foodie friends on Facebook

Food-Dude & Jude

The on going drama of chef, Neville
and Jude, the apprentice

Jude is busy – and I use the word
advisedly, for she spends most of her
time staring into space – in the cellar,
decanting wine into our house carafes.
Admittedly, it is a terrible risk I am
taking, for the slattern is wont to imbibe
at the merest whiff of a vin ordinaire.
I poured her a glass of hock after the
last customers had left recently and, to
my ‘say when,’ she replied ‘when it runs
over my fingers.’ Alas – she meant it.
As a chef of some standing, however, I feel
it is my responsibility to educate her
palate. It’s a thankless task, but it gets
her out from under my nose while I attend
to more important culinary matters.
Already Jude has called from below … ‘Ay
Neville!’ (hoping to seduce me, she thinks I
am charmed by such familiarity) … ‘Do you
want me to do the merlott or the pinott
noyer?’
If only I were be able to tell you that she
was merely indulging her vampish sense of
humour – but she struggles to pronounce
anything of over two syllables, and I have
insisted that she wear turtleneck tops
to hide the unsightly lovebites that she
regularly turns up with.
I’ll get her to start peeling that sackful
of Spanish onions when she’s finished with
the carafes.

Oodies Cafe Great Coffee
Good Company
103 Gavin Street Peaceful Lifestyle

Bundaberg North

4153 5340

Open everyday

6.30-2

Stheeebaallcokuprasgtoeckists on
To advertise on this page
contact us for rates
[email protected]

Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 13

the jutting crag

Artstars

@ THE MOVIES with the bundy
echo girls

The prospect of the dandy and fancy versus maybe a challenging
and serious take on clowns and a time in Paris that, well, sort of
really is disturbing, the girls knew it was gonna be good. who had
the strength to endure it. . . Zelda, the new girl on the block took it
on.

MONSIEUR CHOCOLAT
Among the prozzies and to the same degree that he
revelers and the demi-monde was despised. Ever aware
painted by Toulouse Lautrec, of his standing in society,
you will sometimes find the he was shrewd enough to
striking figure of a solitary take advantage of his colour A Fortunate Man
African. No mere incidental without ever accepting the The Ray Peek Retrospective
inclusion, he was Rafael racism, both overt and
Padilla. passive, to which he was BRAG Gallery One until August 27
exposed. He lived the high Ray Peek spent decades documenting the landscapes,
Born into slavery in Cuba, life as a ladies’ man and industries and people of our region. Ray’s work was often
he escaped from his masters celebrity, dressing as a dandy, infused with his unique sense of humour, resulting in
in Spain and made a name buying an automobile and evocative and artistic photographs. A tribute to a life and
for himself as a circus clown frequenting gambling dens, career as a photographer, A Fortunate Man: The Ray Peek
in France. Roschdy Dem’s where he was regularly Retrospective is an exhibition drawn from the personal
beautiful movie tells his off his face on laudanum. collections of past and present Bundaberg residents.
tragic tale. In contrast, the secretive
Footit played it straight while 4eva Florence : Julie-Anne Milinski
In the evocative opening exploiting Chocolat for every
sequences we see him centime he could. BRAG The Vault until August 27
(Omar Sy) playing the wild Silver silhouettes cast leafy patterns across the Vault walls.
man from the jungles for It is an oft’ repeated story Their intricate shapes are cut from metallised film. Used in
frightened rural audiences. and you can see the crash greenhouses to reflect light onto plants, this film was also
One night he is taken on as that Chocolat is headed for used by Mt Perry-born designer Florence Broadhurst (1899-
a partner by George Footit as his excesses and outsider 1977) in her opulent metallic wallpapers. 4eva Florence stems
(James Thierrée) a once- status begin to take their toll from Julie-Anne Milinski’s 2016 residency at the Bundaberg
famous clown who is on the on him. Regional Art Gallery using imagery of local flora and fauna to
skids. They are an immediate create a sparkling celebration of nature whilst paying homage
sensation and are lured to Success can sometimes to the lasting creative impact of Broadhurst.
Paris where, as Footit et crush a man more completely
Chocolat, their act soon than failure – especially a Wide Bay-High Desert II
becomes the talk of the town. man who believes that he Meet the Makers
has liberated himself from
Sy, who was so charismatic the shackles of conformity BRAG Access Studio on Friday 7 August
in ‘Untouchable’ (2011), and risen above his perceived Meet the Makers participating in the Wide Bay-High Desert II
again fills the screen with his station. Like many comics, exhibition. The six Wide Bay artists , whose work will feature
magnetic presence and he is Chocolat wanted do drama in this year’s Wide Bay-High Desert II exhibition, will be
perfectly complimented by and fittingly he is cast in the working in the BRAG Access Studio on Friday August 7 and
Thierrée’s quiet but no less Friday August 9. There will also be kids’ activities and an
compelling support. opportunity to chat with the artists about their work. Don’t
As a coloured man in role of Othello. “I have served miss out on this wonderful opportunity to get to know some of
the state too well,” the Moor the fine artists in our region.
Paris at the turn of the
century, Chocolat was feted laments.

image:imdb.com

IMAGE: imdb.com

14 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

rags

Run Girl! Run! Mandy Nolan's make me redundant. Nothing About how I’ll cope. Which is
prepares you for the aching of ironic because initially I was
Five years ago my husband S OAP their absence and the strange crying about how she would
and I built a six-bedroom BOX painful joy of seeing them walk cope and then I realised I
house. After years of stacking into the world as their own was actually crying about
kids two deep per room, we I was lying face down on the women. It’s a curious mix of myself. Perhaps I am the one
graduated from lower middle carpet holding her childhood grief and pride. I didn’t know vulnerable to the world, not
class to the ripening affluence snuggly toy weeping. I know this until about 12.30am on her.
of a family where everyone I’m lucky, my kids are still very Tuesday when Zoe walked
had their own bedrooms. much alive, but something through the departure gates She’s a young woman now
has shifted in my family, and I lost it. but I can still see the echo of
John and I finally had a something has changed. the face she had as a baby,
room with a door, instead They’ve grown up. And that I am not talking a lone tear the face that looked to me
of the gypsy stylings of the part of my life, of our shared rolling down my cheek. I’m for love and assurance that
red velvet curtain we used lives, is gone. It’s a memory talking doubling over, gasping, looks to me now for love and
to partition the lounge room now. It lives in photos, or crying. Shuddering. Sobbing. assurance once again. And I’ve
where we tried to make stories, or Facebook feeds. It was quite a show. She turns got snot out my nose, my face
‘adult space’. Many the failed It lives in boxes of birthday back and says, ‘Mum, I can’t is red and I look bat-shit crazy.
attempt at a sneaky root was cards and broken toys shoved leave you like this.’ But I push Run, Girl! Run! And then she’s
launched there, only to be under beds or in the back of her away and say, ‘Go, Go’. gone, my baby girl now a blip
aborted on the appearance wardrobes. I mean, when do Then I sob some more as she on my Facebook messenger.
of the silhouette of a child you paint over the ‘tall wall’? steps away, worried about me. One down. Two to go.
demanding toast or water
or money. We finally had our The thought of the book Zoe as a baby
family home, but alas, a little closing on their childhood and me, passed
too late. We really only had flooded me with regret. There out mid-flight
three years of all five of them was a whole lot of shit I didn’t somewhere
in there at once. do. Like canteen. And guided
reading. I was going to teach
Delicious years ruined them to sew and cook. Instead
by adolescence and their I showed them how to online
yearning to get the fuck away shop, drink wine and talk shit.
from us. Over the next few The girls don’t really need me
years John and I ferreted away any more. I know that’s good.
enough money to put in the That you want them to find
pool the kids have wanted for themselves and make plans
20 years, the punchline to that and follow through and make
oft-repeated refrain ‘Can we their own life. It’s just a bit
get a pool, can we get a pool, weird and scary.
can we get a pool?’. Well we
get a pool and they all fuck You are supposed to want
off. The family of seven is your kids to leave. Like it’s
down to four. In one month’s some sort of relief. Like you’ve
time, three of the rooms will been waiting for them to fuck
sit empty when the girls all off so you can get on with your
make their way overseas on own life, but having people
individually planned six-month need me is my thing. I keep
trips. One tells me she’s them helpless on purpose. I
planning on moving to London do their washing. I make their
permanently. beds. I take their plates to the
dishwasher. Because I’m a
Two of them have been martyr? Well, partly yes, but
coming and going for some also because while I bitch and
time, but until last week it complain and tantrum about
still kind of felt like they lived how much I do, how I do so
with us. Zoe left for London much more than anyone else,
on Monday and I still haven’t and of course, how much
been able to go into her room. better I am than them for
I texted her that I couldn’t go doing more than anyone else,
in, told her that every time the truth is it makes me feel
I look in there I start crying, like what I do for them still
to which I received the reply, matters.
‘I’m not dead, Mum’. True.
I’m being a bit over-dramatic. It makes me feel like there
are still invisible strings of
interdependence that bind
us. I never taught them to
be completely independent
because I feared that would

Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 15

Artstars OurPoets

@ THE MOVIES with the bundy Mr Kodak
echo girls
© Ian Kidd 1995
In a first, delilah got to review this in her debut issue.
When I was a young lad
so hard to say her name without bursting into the Just about knee high,
I terrorised the farm
song by TOM Jones . . . With my trusty shanghi.
Down behind the old chook pen
THE BEGUILED I’d shoot at almost every hen,
Turkeys and ducks I didn’t care
For some reason that I cannot this claustrophobic, all femaleimage:imdb.com Most of the time I just hit the air.
fathom, I still hear people environment comes Corporal When I was eight and almost grown
rave about Sofia Coppola’s McBurney (Colin Farrell), a Are you a poet and know it? Here’s your space! Contact [email protected] My dad he bought a slug gun home,
‘Lost In Translation’ (2003) wounded Union soldier. Long and sleek with a wooden butt
– I suspect it has something Mum shook her head and said tut tut.
to do with Bill Murray’s McBurney, on the mend, Hiding beneath the thunder box
rusted-on cult following. is a huge attraction for his Hoping maybe I’ll see a fox,
‘Marie Antoinette’ (2006) was attractive carers, all of whom A flash of fur before my eyes
dreadful and ‘Somewhere’ are beguiled by the handsome Pull the trigger, painful cries.
(2010) unwatchable, so newcomer’s easy charm – Turned on the torch to see what was there
I should not have been and none of them so much Just a big ball of black furry hair,
surprised to find that her as the more mature, smitten I’ve seen that hair somewhere before
latest outing is entirely Edwina. There is a lot of Mum’s angry tones from the back door.
underwhelming and vaguely near-seduction going on, but Something tells me I’m in strife
ridiculous. Miss Martha not much else, and Coppola’s So I took off for my dear life,
(Nicole Kidman), with her decision to shoot her film in Down to the gully amongst the big gum trees
helper Edwina (Kirsten what would approximate the I think I’ve just shot her Siamese.
Dunst), is in charge, as candlelight of the period only Now I’m 12 and a grown up man
teacher and minder, of a ads to the dullness. I drive the tractor down to the dam
handful of student boarders, Worldly and wise I’m telling you
including the photogenic Elle When McBurney finally Did I tell you I’ve got a 22?
Fanning as Alicia. They all live makes a move on one of his Cockatoos and crows feeding on the corn
together in one of those white hostesses, the consequences I’ll make them wish they were never born,
columned, ice-cream cake are drastic but comical in That many there you don’t need to aim
mansions that seem to exist a way that Coppola would Might wing one I can take home to tame.
only in darkly verdant, steamy not have intended. Kidman’s The air is full of cockies in fright
Georgia. coldness is perfectly suited The once blue sky is coloured white,
to the part, but it’s sad to From the middle of the paddock it’s big and black
It is 1864, and the Civil discover that Dunst has Next thing you know I’m on my back.
War is nearing its bloody evolved into an actress who Spent all week laid up in bed
conclusion. The setting can be convincingly cast as Painful back and aching head
is exclusively feminine, a frumpy virginal spinster Tut tut you don’t learn my dear
something which is tiresomely (the passage of time takes no You shot your grandad’s prize Angus steer.
reiterated in cuts to Martha prisoners.) 50 years on I’m shooting still
or Edwina viewing the distant Plenty of trophies but never a kill,
masculine conflagration A gorgeous rendition of Telescopic lens smile everyone
through a telescope (Coppola ‘Aura Lee’ was a personal I use a camera instead of a gun.
benefits from a simplistic highlight, but overall it’s a
attitude that equates bit of a yawn that is silly
quietness with subtlety). Into rather than tragic or creepy.
Fabulous frocks (Stacey
Battat) steal the show.

16 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

Felting Workshop and much, much more, cane harvesting”, before EWxahteibrictoiolonur
exclusive to cinema. proceeding to the Isis Central
Doesn’t felting seem Moncriefft Sugar Mill site. Here the An exhibition of watercolours
mysterious? How does Saturday 29 July 2pm process of crushing of the by local artist Kath Payne, her
wool become a brooch or Contact: 4130 4100 cane and the transformation 1st exhibition celebrating her
a blanket without a needle from juice to sugar crystals 81st birthday. Entry is free,
or a hook? Join local felter, Childers Festival will be explained at various please feel free to come and
Glenda Soper and learn this locations around the mill. browse and have a chat.
fascinating craft. Glenda’s childersfestival.com.au The tour will also include the Bundaberg School of Arts
work is stunning and you can The Childers Festival is the exciting spectacle of a “cane Friday 21 July – Wednesday
see it in both our Childers and only festival in Queensland fire”, the once traditional 26 July 10am-3pm
Bundaberg Gallery Gift Shops. that stops a highway, closing process used for pre-harvest­ Contact: 4154 2443
Please bring your own hand the mighty Bruce Highway! ing of the cane. The fully
towel and sharp scissors. The festival transforms commentated tour will SWooarpksMhaokping
Spaces for 20 crafters so the highway into a gigantic conclude in Childers with a
call or email now to book on food, market stall and BBQ dinner. Don’t miss out on this fun,
4130 4750 or bragadmin@ entertainment hub, all staged PLEASE NOTE: The cane creative and super easy
bundaberg.qld.gov.au between the heritage listed fire is dependent on weather workshop making glycerine
Bookings open now. buildings and leopard tree conditions at the time of soaps, decorated and poured
Childers Art Space lined streets of Childers, the tour. Due to workplace, by you, to take home and
Saturday 19 August 3-5pm With free admission both health and safety regulations, keep for yourself or give away
days, the event kicks off on the tour will visit selected as gifts. This is suitable for all
CAonndcreeyrtGugnin Saturday afternoon from 2pm locations around the Isis ages and skill levels.
with a street party and lively Central Sugar Mill. Oodies Cafe, 103 Gavin St
Piano recital by Andrey bands performing well into Departure Points : July 25 6-8pm
Gugnin, winner of the the night. The main festival ex Childers: Crescent Street
Sydney International Piano day, which closes the Bruce Car Park, Childers at 3.30pm;
Competition 2016. He is doing Highway is on Sunday, kicking ex Bundaberg : Riverside
a National Recital Tour and off from 9am to 3.30pm Parklands, Bundaberg at
has agreed to a performance and features five stages of 2.45pm. Duration : 4 hours
at Christ Church. The non-stop music, hundreds (ex Childers)
programme includes music by of market stalls and a Thursday 27 July 3.30pm
Bach Schubert Shostakovich smorgasbord of food from all Friday 28 July 3.30pm
Desyatnikov Harvey and over the world. Contact: 4130 4176
Stravinsky. Andrey has agreed Saturday 29 and Sunday 30
to a ‘meet and greet’ after the July. Contact: 4130 4163 More events and information can be found at
performance in the Church. OPERA BY THE LAKE bundabergregionevents.com.au/
Christ Church Anglican (A Childers Festival Event)
Parish of Bundaberg Join Opera Queensland for Cross Galleryimage:pixel,com
Wednesday 26 July 7pm an afternoon outdoor concert Selected works on paper by New York
Contact: 0408 258 690 set against the stunning artist, Susan Carr. Coming soon.
backdrop of Lake Redbrook.
MAnadarsétrRiciheut ’Cso2n0c1e7rt The concert will be a special 4/3 Electra Street Bundaberg.
presentation of opera Contemporary Art •Ph. 0417 737 807
Known to millions as ‘The favourites performed by
King of Waltz’, André Rieu some of Opera Queensland’s Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 17
is one of the world’s most finest artists. Local wines
popular music artists. His and refreshments will be
legendary annual Maastricht available to purchase at this
concert is the most eagerly spectacular event. A coach
anticipated cinema event of will offer complimentary
the year, last year setting transfers from Childers
new box office records in departing at 2.30pm from the
several countries. Set against QCWA Building on the corner
the stunning medieval of Lord and Crescent Streets.
backdrop of the town square Saturday 29 July 30pm
in André’s Dutch hometown, Contact: 4130 4176
the spectacular Maastricht ISIS CENTRAL SUGAR MILL
concert features the maestro AND CANE FIRE TOUR
in his element, along with (A Childers Festival Event)
his 60-piece Johann Strauss Experience first-hand the
Orchestra, sopranos, tenors journey of sugarcane from
and very special guests.Take a field to raw sugar on this
front row seat and experience visually informative tour.
this spectacular musical Enjoy the spectacle of modern
event on the big screen. Enjoy harvesting with a visit to
backstage access, interviews a cane farm using “green
with André and his special
guests, musical favourites

Holy thwack Batman!

FREDDY HARDMAN chats with warwick hawes, the bat-man of bargara

A bat and a ball is all you commissioned one that tipped involved in his material’s from scratch, Warwick has
need for a game of cricket. the scales at three-pound preparation. progressed to his current high
But the fine and ancient game ten-ounces, which is massive, standing through a lot of trial
‘The willow I use is about and error.
has evolved to a point where given that the average is two- a year old by the time I
those two items, notably eight to two-ten.’ Weights of come to shape it. It’s been ‘There are, I’d guess, only
the former, have become about half-a-dozen other
prohibitively expensive for cricket bats, like new-born dried before being imported, personalised bat-makers
babies, are still spoken of in which is a factor that is also in Australia and I am really
your average player. Enter Imperial terms – which seems relevant. Moisture level is happy with the quality of
Warwick Hawes, a Sunshine my product. I enjoy what I
Coast University student only fitting for the historic generally about 10%, but you do because I love the game
and A-grade cricketer who pastime. ‘Thickness too, is had a bloke like the Indian and can relate to what my
happens to manufacture something that comes into it, opener, Virender Sehwag, customers wants. Whether it
is a copy of Steven Smith’s
some of the finest bats in the bat or something specifically
country. suited to their own physique
Working from his mother and approach to playing. They
Samantha’s garage at can talk to me about what
Bargara – ‘Mum is my co- they want and I will nearly
ordinator of logistics,’ he always have it ready for them
explains wryly – and a men’s the next day.’
shed at Buderim, WW Custom
Cricket Bats have made I neglected to ask Warwick
that simple yet beautiful did he ever make bats like
instrument attainable at the ones that I always found
better than half the price of myself facing-up with, i.e.,
the established, big name with holes in the middle of
firms. the blade, but I’ve no doubt
‘I’ve been doing it for about that if you asked he could do
two and a half years now that too.
and the business has really
taken off. Over the summer with a lot of guys wanting a who, for his purposes – as WW Custom Cricket supply
months I will be making one a bat that is designed along the a thrash artist, you might other cricket gear, too –
day. All of them are different, lines of the type that Davey say – used a bat with only 2% pads, gloves etc – so if you
Warner uses.’ moisture. That’s how come fancy your chances of filling
depending on the client’s Warwick’s passion for and he broke so many,’ Warwick the void left by the looming
specific needs,’ he explains. professional cricketers’ strike,
‘The weight of the thing is knowledge of his unique craft laughs. you’d do a lot worse than to
soon come to the fore when As with any endeavour get in touch with them.
particularly important to he talks about the science that has been created
batsmen. A fellow recently

Take the Plunge café in Electra Court will be
holding its first ‘Home-based Business Expo’
where people can come along and see the
products that only available through direct sales
and not available in stores.

The idea came to Beth and Justine after being
approached by a few mums who were looking
for a central location where they could let people
know about their products.

With the array of direct sales products now
available, Beth and Justine thought it would be a
terrific idea to have a single event that gathered
as many of these small businesses together
under one roof for people to see, taste, smell,
touch and buy if they want to.

The expo will support Mum-style home
businesses by helping them to raise their profile
without having the overheads of their own shop-
front.

All businesses will have products and
information available on the day for customers to
sample and talk about and Take the Plunge will
also be open for business, offering delicious food
and warming drinks from our extensive menu.

Take the Plunge is located at 17
Electra Street which is right next to the
new map wall across the road from the
Hinkler Kmart carpark.

18 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

Alexander Leroux ‘Sandy’ Longbottom < b1960 >

LOCAL hystorian M. ANTHONY NELSON SHARES ANOTHER forgotten BUNDABERG story

Born to a French yachts­man Shattered but undeterred, Thinking
attempting a circum­navigation he accumulated further
of the globe and Sophie rarities and was in London of promoting
Longbottom, Bundaberg’s in 1993 when Mercury’s your business,
celebrated bordello proprie­ father, Bomi Bulsara, offered service or
tress, Sandy was employed as his late son’s collection for yourself?
a ticket-seller for Queensland sale. Dismayed at having You can
Rail when, in 1983, he met been outbid by the Daily own this
Lolita truffaut from Aix-en- Mail, Sandy returned to space.
Provence. Bundaberg only to find that
his earlier approach to Contact:
Ten years his senior, and an Mercury with the fake stamp bundyecho@
avid philatelist and collector of had led to his expulsion gmail.com or
butterflies, Lolita brought to his from the Ancient Guild of 0417 659 635
attention the possible link that Australasian Philatelists.
Sandy had with Gaston Leroux, Penniless and broken, Sandy
who was murdered in Paris fell to the demon drink and,
in 1892 for his possession to the horror of international
of the 1851 Hawaiian 2-cent tourists, would often be seen
‘Missionary’ stamp. waking from benders on the
beach at Mon Repos.
Repelled by Lolita’s
attitude to butterflies (‘it Selling everything he
is a callous, murderous had, in 2006 he journeyed
pastime,’ he later wrote in to London after hearing
‘Philately Lately’), Sandy soon that the Rolling Stones’
parted ways with Lolita, but Ronnie Wood had taken up
not before he had become stamp collecting to help him
obsessed with stamps. From recover from alcoholism and
his rented bungalow at Mon substance abuse. With a note
Repos, he quickly became a of introduction from French,
leading authority on all things Sandy met with Wood at his
to do with philately and, in mansion in Hertfordshire
1984, with the inheritance of and presented to the wrinkly
Sophie’s considerable estate guitarist the 1851 2-cent
(‘my girls and I are familiar Hawaiian. Wood studied it
with the shortcomings closely over a pot of green
of most of Queensland’s tea, but came to the same
politicians, magistrates and conclusion as Mercury.
clergy,’ she once commented
to a Courier Mail journalist It was the bitterest of
at a Russ Hinze barbecue), blows for Sandy but, using
he travelled to Hong Kong to the money paid to him
purchase an 1851 Hawaiian for the rights to his story
2-cent ‘Missionary’. by aspiring Queensland
filmmaker Charlotte Haze,
Upon hearing that his he established his agency,
favourite singer and fellow ‘The True Missionary’,
philatelist, Freddie Mercury, investigating fraudulent
would be touring Australia claims worldwide in
with Queen, he flew to Sydney philately, numismatics and,
for the band’s Anzac Day of late, painting. Based
concert of 1985. Inveigling in Amsterdam, Sandy
the prominent rock journalist, Longbottom is hoping to
Jack French, to procure a bring his partner Lotte, 30,
backstage pass for him (in to Bundaberg in the new-
his autobiography, ‘Beer and year for the birth of their
Chips’, French claimed that first child. And he still has
the occasion was ‘hugely not given up hope on the
embarrassing, but Freddie 1851 2-cent Hawaiian being
was such a gentleman’), certified as authentic.
Sandy approached Mercury
with glowing pride. To his
despair, the singer dismissed
the stamp as a forgery.

Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 19

Rum City Derby Dolls ROCK The obsolete mean one

BROOKE PETERSEN

We all know the sport stereo­ Issues on court often follow countless and successful beneath.
types: all rugby league players off the court which Go Fund Me – created by They are
players are thugs, only rich results in a less than jovial our group – for causes not mean
white people play polo and atmosphere. But derby? Let such as an official and rough –
Chinese Olympic swimmers me give you a great example who involved in a car they are some
take steroids. There is one of how this sport is different. accident while travelling of the most caring
particular myth clinging to a There is a famous video home from a derby clinic and thought­ful souls I
sport that I am keen to dispel: circulating of Scald Eagle, a in Bundaberg, a player have ever met.
that roller derby players are fast and powerful Team USA whose husband was But listen, why
rough and mean. derby player, being brutally tragically killed in take my word for it?
and legally knocked to the Hervey Bay and You don’t know me – all you
To be fair, when applied ground by an opponent. Her a Gladstone know by now is that I am a
to roller derby in its original response once she managed family destroyed very talented writer (work
form, this view is quite well to return to her feet? High aslo by a car with me people!). Permit me
founded. In the 1930’s, five the opposing skater who accident. Last year a player to issue you a challenge – go
roller derby was more about smacked her to the ground – affiliated with a Mackay to Win Stadium on Flint
entertainment than sport. because she appreciated the league tragically committed Street in Bundaberg on
It promoted unregulated technique and skill required suicide and the outpouring Saturday July 22 or Sunday
but much stylised violence to take her down. If that is of support within the derby July 23 for an annual event
for the pleasure of the mean then I am a Chinese community was nothing short called ‘Skate of Emergency.
crowd. Old footage of Olympic swimmer. in power and force to that of Introduce yourself to one of
games frequently displays a tidal wave. the Rum City Derby Dolls
interesting techniques such Derby is a remarkable or just observe the derby
as skaters head locking sport attracting people Bundy, your very own creatures in their natural
opposition to prevent them of differing sizes, cultural Rum City Derby Dolls, devote habitat. Report back and
from advancing on the track. backgrounds and sexual proceeds from all of their let me know how ‘mean’ or
World Wrestling moves preferences. Many people games to charitable causes. ‘rough’ they show themselves
like hair pulling and elbow who were previously dwelling Then there is the drop off to be. But don’t be surprised
throwing extracted squeals on the fringe of society area that was established if you catch the derby bug
of delight from the crowd and (themselves once victims of at the roller derby World and find yourself at their next
boosted ticket sales. Today, ‘mean girls’) now find a place Cup last year for old ‘fresh meat’ intake for new
however, roller derby focuses where they are accepted and protective gear which was players.
on athletic ability rather feel they belong. The result then distributed across the
than acting skills. The very is a community comprised world to struggling derby
comprehensive current rules of a colourful and textured players in need. I could go
set, a document of more than tapestry whose threads pull on for pages here but what
80 pages, ensures this full together to strengthen the I am obviously attempting
contact sport is well regulated whole garment itself. to do is pull back the cover
for player’s safety. Elbows, from a misunderstood sport
hair pulling and catfights have Evidence of this support and reveal the true people
been replaced by an emphasis can be witnessed in the
on speed and agility. Don’t
get me wrong – today’s derby < Images: [email protected] >
still provides marvellous
entertainment with its bone Theever-so-nice/butwillneverbeintimidatedRumCityDerbyDolls
crunching hits, but there is
a notable focus on strategy
and skill. What these changes
have resulted in is players
transitioning from ‘rough’
girls to ‘tough’ girls.

Now, let’s tackle the notion
that derby girls are mean.
The beauty of this sport is
that you know what you are
in for. It is a full contact sport
– you have effectively signed
up to be hit by other people.
Other ‘non-contact’ sports
I have played, in contrast,
<cough cough netball> seem
to foster an atmosphere of
smouldering tension and the
use of sneaky physical tactics.

20 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

a hairpiece lost
at croquet In our search for the rare and unusual around Bundaberg,
we stumbled upon an exclusive gentleman’s club in Mon
Repos. We coaxed, with daring promises, one of the Club’s
fabulously wealthy roués, Horatio Bitemark, to record for us
the weekly epicurean adventures of the idle rich. Now and

then a spot of leather and whips creeps in:

Horatio Bitemark

We evacuated the Clubhouse collage: mandy thane
as the paint fumes began to
constrict members’ throats. shape of a sword. Chef had souvenir flamethrower – giant fig tree hung about with
Bosworth, however, had to be done exceptionally well under Digby suggested a game fruit bats. A general hilarity
dragged from a corner, where the impromptu conditions, of croquet, the sport of descended, aided by the
he was crouched inhaling producing a diprotodon from bastardry much favoured contents of Montmorency’s
Dulux Driftwood from a the Club’s private supply, by lawyers and deregistered heritage-registered hookah
plastic bag. barbecued on the antique cosmetic surgeons. The lawn once owned by Hasan bin
wrought iron rack in the was in fine shape and we set Sabbah – whose slogan
Club manager Achmed dungeon and served with to with a vengeance, Sanders ‘Nothing is true, everything
Edfed had insisted, with a rocket, cress and fillets of the butler standing by with is permissible’ had brought
stamp of his foot, that the porpoise. This we washed an oxygen cylinder just in solace to members in many
Clubhouse be repainted, even down with a Kepnock case. Randy Mandrill was a dark night of the soul – and
though the last coat only EcoFriendly Cabernet voted off after head-butting we were left sprawled upon
dated back to 1957. Flakes Sauvignon 1987, its bouquet Bosworth who, still affected the lawn clutching our aching
were dropping into meals, he awash with semitones of by paint-sniffing, was trying sides, Morrisett the only
claimed, and some members lillipilli and subdivision to engage in sexual congress forlorn figure standing, blood
had been found sleeping regrowth. with his mallet. The game dripping onto his puzzled
in their armchairs, totally ended precipitously when a brow from the runnels on his
covered by a fine dusting of Following afters – a rather brahminy kite swooped upon pate.
old paint. fine bombe alaska smothered Morrisett’s hairpiece and
in kiwi fruit brandy and set took it off to his fastness in a
We grumbled, of course, and alight with Montmorency’s
railed against modernisation
in general. ‘Taupe is not the
name of a colour,’ huffed
Morrisett, ‘and no gentleman
should have to put up with it.’

Tosser Digby’s Uncle
Montmorency kindly lent us
the use of his estate at South
Kolan. He visited only in the
pheasant coucal shooting
season and otherwise was too
busy with his coca plantations
and white slavery franchise
in South America. The house
was an enormous Gothic
pile surrounded by groves
dominated by leering Pan
statues, so the members felt
right at home.

With the aid of a small
barrel of Coral Cove
Severely Coagulated
Trockenbeerenauslese 1994
and a tray of sugar cubes
we detoxified from the
paint poisoning and settled
down for lunch around
Montmorency’s enormous
Bolivian bloodwood table and
its centrepiece candelabra
constructed from shrunken
heads surmounted by brass
images of the angel of Death
holding a wax taper in the

Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 21

communitystuff

■ B UNDABERG POET’S ■ UNITY DRUMMERS
SOCIETY HUMP DAY DRUMMING
Second Saturday of @ RIVER CRUZ CAFE
the month at 1pm Wednesdays 7-8am
Rum City Silver Band Bring a chair and a
Hall, Targo Street. drum, or try out one of
Cost $3. Contact our spares. Hang around
Jayson: 4155 0778 and have a coffee
afterwards. Everyone
■ A LLOWAY welcome.
OBSERVATORY
Our nerdy mates who ■ C ENT SALE & HOY
are all volunteers invite Bargara’s over 50s
all who love to stare into Club, Saturday 8 July
space, on clear Friday 12.30pm @ Bargara
nights, to their well Cultural Centre. All
equipped observatory. welcome. Contact:
Cheap as chips Sandy 0414 397 267.
membership deals.
■ B UNDY MODEL RAIL­
■ S HALOM MARKETS WAY CLUB OPEN DAY
Every Sunday 7 – 12pm August 12 • 9am-3pm
Old Bund Showgrounds
■ T HE PINK HOUSE,
MOORE PARK Every ■ U .G.L.Y. BARTENDER
Monday - Women’s LEUKAEMIA FOUN­
Activity Group: $2 DATION FUNDRAISER
includes tea or coffee August 13 • 12-9pm
Every Tuesday - Lighthouse Hotel-Motel
Quilting: All levels from
beginner to expert ■ T HE AUSTRALIAN
welcome $2 includes tea PSYCHIC EXPO
of coffee Friday 28 July to
Sunday 6 August
■ G IN GIN WILD Brothers Sports Club
SCOTCHMAN 9am-6pm. Free Entry.
MARKETS Readings $55 half hour.
Every Saturday
7 – 12pm @ Historical ■ D RUGS DO NOT
Society DISCRIMINATE TOUR
July 25 6.30pm
■ C ANE COUNTRY Bundaberg PCYC
SQUARES TUESDAY 1 Civic Avenue
Friday Nights
6.30pm FIRST NIGHT ■ B UNDABERG BODY
FREE, Modern music, MIND & SPIRIT EXPO
fun and friendship @ August 13 10am-3pm
Rum City Band Hall North Progress Hall
(Targo Street). Contact Bundaberg Body Mind
Matthew: 0418 479 814 and Soul Expo 2017 has
been created to bring
■ T AKE THE PLUNGE together a sensational
CAFE arrangement of stalls
@ Electra Street. and stands that is 100%
Loads of courses and dedicated to inspiring
workshops held at this and supporting you on
cafe most week days. your search for a more
Check their FB page. conscious life - a healthy
life - a happy life!

22 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017

Origin Wrap

BY FREDDY HARDMAN, NSW in the dressing shed, where in despair and anguish, your apparent until the full-time
they belted the bejesus out of correspondent bit too hard on siren is blown. To all and
gTooandustfsans each other during a fearsome an unpitted Kalamata olive). sundry, the Maroons were
warm-up, were awful. In the always going to win, from
(poor things) other room, Queensland were It was like watching a train the minute Valentine Holmes
calm and collected. Giving crash in slo-mo, and making scored his first try in the
Ian Fleming , chronicler of the distinct impression that it even harder to swallow corner.
the espionage career of James he knew exactly what the was the blatant untruth
Bond, wrote in ‘Moonraker’ boys were going to do when being spoken by the mates’ Queenslanders, rejoicing
that, for his chain-smoking hostilities started, Cooper club in the Channel Nine after the annual cultural
hero, ‘the gain to the winner is, Cronk was content to sit in a commentary box. ‘What a affirmation, will still be
in some odd way, always less corner doing his knitting. great game,’ they said on more celebrating. New South
than the loss to the loser.’ I’m than one occasion. To which I Welshmen sulked for a few
sure that the obsessive fear of NSW entered the fray roared back at the flat screen, days and gave their favourite
being beaten is what drives the with two weapons of mass ‘bullshit!’ cocktails a nudge – shaken, not
Canetoads when it comes to destruction – Jarryd Hayne stirred.
State of Origin. at centre and Andrew Fifita A ‘great game’ is one
in the forwards. Queensland in which the victor is not
You can see it in the frenzy obliterated the threat that they
of the mob at Lang Park. posed from the get-go and
It’s about identity. The poor the Blues consequently ran
buggers would neck themselves around like headless chooks
if the Maroons got done, when in possession of the pill
whereas we Blues supporters – worse, they gave the distinct
just kick stones for a couple of impression that, not only were
days and whinge about how we they lacking a Plan B revert
can’t find a decent half-back to, but were in fact devoid of a
(sorry, Mitchell Pearce, but you clearly defined Plan A.
were useless).
When the home side was
The sad phenomenon also in possession, the visitors
manifests itself among Kiwis kindly allowed them to run
watching the All Blacks, as far as they wished before
Brazilians going mental over encountering the defensive
their beloved ‘Canarinho’ and line, a sluggishness that
Indians investing thousands of was immediately noted and
years of history in their cricket exploited by Cameron Smith.
XI. The bean-counter, an Origin
veteran who just won’t go away,
To anybody with the played in a dinner suit and
slightest knowledge of rugby made his opponents look like
league, Origin 3 was as good mugs. That he compounded
as over after twenty minutes his brilliant captain’s knock by
(to a lot of us, the series was converting tries from the most
decided when the Toads came acute angles was enough to
from behind to get the bickies make a New South Welshman’s
in O2). The Blues, having left front tooth fall-out (literally –
the mongrel in them behind

Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017 23

VAA.AN.e

Bundy Echo’s Weird Bird
Person (see page 5)

Ocraaigrrditnsal
parinndts

CARDS:
$4 each and available
at Nathans Boutique
in Targo Street and

Art Plus in Electra
PRINTS:

Archival quality
300gsm 100% cotton

rag paper:
A4 $15 • A3 $25
A2 $35 • Unframed.
annettetysonpython@

gmail.com

annavaneart/

ind us watercolour Art
exhibition

In town • Kalki Moon Distilling by kathleen payne
• Saskias Coffee & Brewing Company
Bundaberg School of Arts • 184 Bourbong Street
Cake More • IWC / Guava Cafe July 21 - 26 • 10 - 3 • Free Entry
• The Brewhouse At the seaside + Wordbender’s Corner
• Jandas
• Ta ke the Plunge • T he Journey @ Kathleen’s first exhibition. She has just turned 81 and
• ArtPlus Bargara this is a birthday present from her best friend, Ken.
• Bundaberg Library
• Nextra Chippendalls • Nextra Bargara A very very special exhibition. Don’t miss it.
• Avenell Bros • Casablanca on See
• Nathan’s Boutique
• Oodies Cafe @ Bargara
• Nth Bundy News • B urnett Heads Post
• Liberty, Nth Bundy
• Hair by Tash & News
• Cadz Retro Diner • S ea Gypsy @
• Nextra Chippendalls
Burnett Heads
@ Stockland • B reeze Cafe &

Bakery @ Innes Park
• M oore Park Servo
• Moore Park Bowlo
• S easide Cafe

Moore Park
Out of town

• Gin Gin Library
• Childers Library

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO STOCK OUR PUBLICATION,
CONTACT [email protected]

24 Bundy Echo DELILAH July 19 – August 2, 2017