She Heard Magazine Spring 2020

Let Go
or be

Dragged

by Sara L Gleason

About four years ago, my sister Amy I remember as a child always trying to
got me a magnet for my fridge that stay in control of things. I wouldn’t ride
simply said, “Let Go or Be Dragged.” I rollercoasters for fear I would fly out of
opened the gift carefully and read the the seat. I didn’t raise my hand in class
big, bold print on the magnet and felt unless I was certain of the right answer.
a smile spread across my face as I easily manipulated relationships and
anxiety released from my soul like situations to ensure I would get the
steam from a radiator. It had been results I wanted and the security I
several years since my divorce, but the needed. I was terrified of tornados
weight of the world still seemed to because they were unpredictable and
travel within me from day to day, hour seemed to pop up out of nowhere. My
to hour and second to second. Not mom actually took me to a child
only could I feel the heavy load and psychologist due to my irrational fears.
emotional burden, but those around In the end, the psychologist said I was
me who loved me so much felt it too. afraid of losing control and ultimately,
This was my sister’s way of telling me it afraid of dying. I was determined to
was time to let go of the past and hold the reigns tightly as I navigated
embrace the uncertainty of my future. life in order to ensure that things went
Letting go has never been easy for me. according to my plan. My physical and
It is the loss of control over my life and emotional safety was to be protected at
my circumstances that scares me the all costs…by staying in control.
most.

51

But then, my life went spinning out of control
with the announcement that came on
Christmas day, 2011 over a Skype phone
call from the middle of a desert in the Middle
East…he wanted a divorce. I think my heart
literally stopped beating as I struggled to
comprehend what was happening. For
months afterwards, I refused to accept the
reality of my crumbling life and fought like
mad in all sorts of crazy ways to hold on for
dear life and somehow end the nightmare
that was ensuing. It didn’t work and I lost
control. For many years after my divorce, I
was still holding on. Despite my new-found
faith and my trust in God, I couldn’t fully
grasp a new beginning because I refused to
let go of the past. Letting go doesn’t happen
at all once. It isn’t like you flip a switch and
suddenly you are healed and whole and
ready for what lies ahead. In fact, I am very
weary of people who are able to let go too
quickly. I have watched people abandon ship
without looking back, but eventually that
wreckage sneaks up on them in unexpected
ways and they find their way back into the
same stormy seas they were trying to escape
in the first place. Letting go is a process….a
necessary process of working through and
evaluating old thoughts, old habits and old
beliefs. It is a reflective process of taking
responsibility for your actions and forgiving
others for theirs. It is a healing process of
forgiving yourself, becoming wiser and
making changes that set you up for a better
future.

25

When change comes, we often cling to the
remnants of old, familiar ways whether they
are good and healthy or not. The comfort and
security that comes with what’s familiar
outweighs the uncertainty that comes with an
unpredictable future that may be filled with
new opportunities and personal growth.
Whether the change is in our control or not,
in order to embrace it and take hold of
something new, we must fully let go of what
is old. Isaiah 43:19 says, “See, I am doing a
new thing! Now it springs up; do you not
perceive it? I am making a way in the
wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
Essentially God is telling us that we can trust
Him to do what we may believe is impossible.
We can believe in Him for good things when
He asks us to let go of our own plan and
travel down new roads with Him. He will
make our path clear when we can’t see two
feet in front of our face, when we feel lost
and confused. He will quench our thirst and
provide living water for us in the midst of
what appears to be a dry, barren desert. It
took me a long time to perceive it….to
recognize and understand what new thing
God was trying to do in my life. I couldn’t give
Him control over my life because I was too
busy trying to hold on to the bits and pieces
of the past. Even though God had more
space in my head than He had in my past, it
was still too crowded in there with distorted
truths. I needed to finish a cleaning out
process before He could unleash His full
power and authority over my future.

53

Letting go is never easy, but it is necessary for God to promote us to new places.
There are some things we just can’t take with us as we move forward with God. The
weight of unhealthy thinking, the lies we’ve been carrying around about ourselves
and our worth, the need to control or manipulate circumstances, the fear of
uncertainty, the guilt and shame of our failures… God will require us to let go of those
things in order to free up the space He needs to take us to new mountaintops. Letting
go can feel like being dragged. Slowly our grasp loosens. We find ourselves slipping,
from two hands to one. Our knees scrape the pavements and we bounce and skid
until finally, we let go. Bruised and battered, God can finally pick us up and turn us in
a new direction. Whatever directions He takes us, we can be assured that it is better
than where we were. He is doing a new thing! Do you perceive it? Let go or be
dragged.

Sara L. Gleason is a mom to two amazing kiddos, Max
and Hope, the lights of her life. She is a 5th grade ELA
and Social Studies teacher in Conneaut, Ohio. Sara
writes on her Facebook page MAXIMum HOPE. She
found her faith later in life through some of life's
toughest circumstances, but is forever grateful for God's
goodness, protection, and love. She is pursuing a
master's degree from Liberty University in Professional
Writing specializing in Christian writing. Her greatest
hope is that by sharing her stories, insight, and God's
wisdom, she will somehow make a difference in
people's lives through God's grace.

25

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Prayerfully consider writing for us!

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55

At the Well ClosetC l e a n i n g o u t Y o u r

A Devotional

by Janelle Keith

Y our closet is telling of your life, not only about the outfits you have bought, but a
closet can hide secret sins, shame, your past, and disappointments. And most times
we need a friend to support us to get a handle on the clean-out process. Fortunately,
we have access to our own personal closet organizer that specializes in making an
overwhelming task simpler. This professional is the Holy Spirit and He is our friend and
wise counselor. And when it comes to putting on purity and righteousness, He is an expert.

Let’s get started with my closet

Over the years, my closet reminded of a past full of failures; attempts at getting fit or trim
with little positive results. After trying various weight loss programs, I was left heavier
physically and emptier emotionally. In my closet, years and years of regret, negativity and
pain hung silent.

LET'S GET STARTED WITH
MY CLOSET

JANELLE KEITH

I once held tightly to the goal of losing weight, but "The Grace of
as it turned out God wanted to shed my wrong God delivered me
thinking about His love and acceptance first. He
had to take care of the “weighty matters” of the from a food
heart first, in order to shed my physical addiction,
heaviness. The Grace of God delivered me from a cleaned up my
food addiction, cleaned up my act and removed act and removed
some hardened heart issues. As I continually some hardened
obey Him in the area of health and wellness, I heart issues."
experience more freedom than I ever have
before. And what happened? I lost 132 pounds!
But it didn’t come easily. It was (and still is) a
daily decision to not only opt for healthy food
alternatives, but first and foremost to choose His
word over the lies of the enemy wants me to
believe.

A Look back at my Past

One summer afternoon, when I was five years old, my tween sister and cousins were sequestered
in my cousin’s bedroom swapping boy stories like baseball cards. Uninvited, I listened intently with
my ear pressed to the door. I wanted so badly to be part of their secret girl club. When all hope
seemed lost… it happened. The door cracked open, and my sister asked for a snack.

57

That was it – my ticket in—I was confident Our closets are full of
that I could do this! With the strength of a
ninja, I snuck up to the snack sanctuary, the our past clutter.
top of the refrigerator. There sat a golden
delicious container of Cheetos. I secured Now move over to another shelf in my closet
the cheesy curls in a leather bound decoy, full of old photos. I distinctly remember the
and slithered down the hallway to the days of those dreaded school photos. My
bedroom door, expecting a grand welcome. mother dressed me in a plaid dress… that
But, after grabbing the coveted bounty from dreaded drab plaid dress. The years of
my hands, they instead slammed the door in “plaid and chubby” are etched in my mind, as
my face. Sadly, I wasn’t their Cheetos those were the years when my self-esteem
heroine, only their lowly snack mule.“Will I tanked. No outfit I wore made me feel good
ever belong?” A question I lamented that about myself. I still avoid the camera today
day and for most of my life. Growing up, no because of those memories. It’s painful how
matter where I searched, love and those childhood labels stick to our worth like
affirmation evaded me. I was lost in my own static-charged dryer sheets. My past defined
little world looking for love in all the wrong me as a defeatist: forever fat, plain, plaid,
places. Whenever I met someone, it drab, rejected, shamed, blamed, and forever
seemed as if I introduced myself as, “Hi, I’m flawed. Looking back, I see how the labels
Janelle. Will you like me…PLEASE?” I kept of my past only compounded my emotional
telling myself that “misery loves company” emptiness. I was in a trap of deception
and every tasty snack commiserated! I about who I was and allowed unworthiness
blindly became a slave to all the comfort and insignificance to take over my heart.
food and sold out to many lies. Lies that Therefore, shame took up residence in my
convinced me that food would fill the mind, expanded my mental anguish, and left
emptiness in my heart. Though food brought me questioning my identity.Can you relate to
me great comfort, my desperate need for this question? “God will I ever be enough?”
acceptance launched me into many years of You too can have courage to walk in your
disconnection with God. true identity, even if you have a few of those
old pesky labels hanging in your closet. We
I swallowed lies about myself, along with a all have a validation “tank,” and God is the
whole bunch of unnecessary calories, pain only one who can affirm what He’s put inside
and heartache. But only God can satisfy the of you! It will not come from faking fine or
void He is designated to fill. One day, any other false feelings that try to attach
feeling frustrated with my lack of self-control, worth or significance to you!You’re not God’s
I called out to God with one of the most leftover. You are never His afterthought.
difficult prayers you can pray, “HELP ME!” Those labels are lies. The truth is you were
designed with GREAT consideration. God
Man’s approval is NO match for how our knows you inside and out and understands
Creator approves of each of us. C. S. Lewis the purpose and desires He put inside your
describes it so beautifully: "Don’t let your heart. He knows you intimately and
happiness depend on something you may intricately. And the beauty of this kind of
lose…only (upon) the Beloved who will never knowing is He sees you as highly valued,
pass away.” even with all your flaws, and He loves you all
the same.

How do you tackle the The Grace of God helps you trust the
process in the deep heart work only God
overwhelming clutter? can do. He wants it all: your heart, soul,
strength and mind. And if you don’t let go,
Ever been in the right place at the right there is a stronger temptation to go back to
time? One Sunday morning at church, that your old ways. Those idols must GO! Grab
place was in the third row, third seat in. It on to Grace! God meets you right where
was if the words of my pastor’s message you are and helps you walk this path to
were spoken right to me—like I was the only freedom. He died to set you free and by His
one in the room. Although I’ve not heard the truth He will free you.
audible voice of God, I knew that Sunday,
God was near and prompting me to take Make Room for Grace
action. I sat quietly and listened to the
pastor, who encouraged us to think about “Grace is the active expression of His love”
idols that hindered our walk with God. He – Brennan Manning. Grace is the pure
then issued a challenge to fast for three cleaning agent of God’s mercy. Grace is the
days, putting said idols on the altar. I best fit for you. In regards to my problematic
checked off my mental list, including social waistline, I can’t tell you what kind of diet
media, TV, recreational time, gossiping, plan you need, nor will I commiserate with
food, Facebook, etc. I thought, hold the your bad habits. However, I will tell you, as
microphone….did you say food…God? You you come clean before God, He will clean
want me to fast from food for three days? In up your soul’s closet space, but there’s one
that moment I felt so small; I realized I condition: you must humble yourself before
needed more than my own strength and Him. No matter how far out of reach you
hope to face the long journey ahead of feel, God’s grace and forgiveness is ever
me.We can get legalistic about the ways to further reaching. God’s grace is matchless,
lose weight and exercise. I thought unrelenting, undeserved, merciful and
somehow I had to muster up my own mighty to save. No matter where you have
courage to the battle my bulges. I also searched for what you are missing, you
thought I had to clean up before coming to simply won’t find it in food. I had to realize
God. The irrational grace of God will clean the hard way, through pain and
up your closet of guilt, blame and shame. disappointment, that food could never do for
It’s time to get serious with God about the me what Jesus has already done.
idols in your life. They take up too much
space in your soul’s closet and edge out
God. I certainly didn’t want to give up food,
but I knew I had to choose this spiritual
cleansing to get free from its chains.

The grace of God is a mystery! Our emotional needs are on
His heart, our mental needs are on His mind, our physical
needs are on His daily planner, and our spiritual needs are
His delight.

God is more concerned about our wholeness and holiness than our happiness! The grace of God
isn’t earned, but received by accepting Jesus as your Savior. God is the only Eternal optimist, a
loving Father, who looks for the prodigal with longing in His heart. He is ready to meet you on your
journey with a ring and a robe. He doesn’t care where you’ve been. He’s not keeping a tally of your
mess ups or calculating your calories. He is ever present to your health struggles and very aware of
your internal brokenness. And He is waiting for you with arms open wide to love you…no less or no
more ….no matter what the scale screams or the heaviness of your past. He is love and wants you
near. Remember: you are fully known to Him and fully loved by Him. It’s not a choice for God. It’s
both Grace and Mercy on your side. Remember Grace – God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.

What about those old sneakers that speak
discouragement to you?

Whenever I feel discouraged or when complacency is wedging its way back into my heart where
God should be, I know that I need to go back to my roots and remember why I started this journey of
wellness.
When you feel like you can’t go on, (and you will) I suggest writing out your “why”. Everyday
challenges can sometime place you into struggles where you end up in tight emotional places and
awkward social situations. Grace and hope are wonderful helping hands by God, to keep you
upright and steady in every step of this journey.

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True hope fits you uniquely in a redeemable way. It’s a kind of grace cocooned in God’s love that
will push down every barrier and keep you pushing you forward. The struggle or barrier you are
facing today is developing strength you’ll use tomorrow. Remembering reasons to continue on and
keep pressing forward are you’re motivation for reaching for God’s best. To this day, I’ve never seen
a butterfly crawl back into is cocoon and become a caterpillar. The beauty of the butterfly is the
strength she can’t see until she spreads her own wings and takes flight. Hope gives you the grace
to embrace your waist. Hope never lets you down, nor lets your story die, rises to the challenge and
gives new life. Hope is still writing your story! Hope has already won. Hope’s name is Jesus.

What about that critical chatterbox hiding in your

closet?

I once suffered from a negative thought life and constant chronic blame. You name it, I blamed
myself for it. One day, I was talking about my self-abuse with a close friend. Well, I was basically
complaining to her— with no intention to change. She shared that when you speak negatively to
yourself, you disregard the love that God put inside of you and cast off His love. When practicing
negative self-talk, this speech sneaks in and defames the love that God said was good, God’s
original love put into each human at creation.My mind blinked faster than a cursor on a screen. She
admitted to her own past self-degradation, down to making her computer password “choppedliver.”
And one simple step helped start her journey to right thinking: she changed that password to a
phrase confirming her identity in Christ. This one alteration in her day initiated a positive thought
and cultivated tremendous growth in her life. I didn’t act on her suggestion immediately. Her story
moved me to want to change but instead I was still filled with self-condemnation. And the negative
“sneak” attack slithered into my mind once again.

However, in my own resistance, I got hurt in the crossfire. That same day, I received a very toxic
email from someone falsely accusing me of something I didn’t do. I was crushed and thought, “How
can I take on any more guilt?” I had silently suffered enough! Somehow God moved in a powerful
way. Instead of keeping the email open and rehashing the wounding words, I deleted it and then
prayed. I heard the Holy Spirit whisper “You are not who that person says you are, you’re My child.
I’ll never condemn you; I took the blame for you.”Negative self-talk is a very real force that tears you
down from the inside out. Rest assured that no one sees you like God sees you. And no one knows
your story like God, and when you surrender your tongue to Him, He will honor your obedience and
heal you of negativity. Be of good cheer my friend, you are going to be okay! You can experience a
positive thought life when you overcome the negative battle in your mind! Take my advice, no, take
it twice: please be positive to yourself. God is for you!

Where’s the best place to start your own clean-out
process?

Start where you are right now. In two simple words I found great freedom. Repentance and
obedience. The Bible encourages us to repent of our sins. Repentance doesn’t mean make one
change, be sorry about it, and go back to your old ways. Repentance means to change the way you
think about a situation! The weight didn’t come overnight, nor will you shed those pesky pounds with
the snap of a finger.

Start where you are and make one change at a time. 
God will meet you on your turf, but He wants you to
follow Him on His terms.

Through grace and forgiveness, you too can experience freedom from addictive habits. As you
make changes, you will pick up the momentum and strength to keep on keepin’ on! And as you
experience small steps of freedom, you can live free. We must remember that Jesus doesn’t stand
outside our difficulties to cheer us on. He is in the center of our lives to help us overcome the trouble
we face. Every step you take forward is a positive step towards a life of fullness with
Jesus. Practice this forgiving statement: Live today for how you want to feel tomorrow. In the
world of losing vs gaining, this is everything! You act on your thoughts!

What about all the feels for the clutter?

As women, we deal with a host of emotions, good and bad. One strong emotion that is extremely
detrimental to our soul is shame. Shame destroys your identity. It’s important to discuss shame
openly and bring it into the light. Shame is at the root issue of every human; we’re all prone to be
ashamed about something. It pops up in your body image, identity, parenting, finances, work life,
addictions, religion and the list goes on and on. This one feeling can conjure up all kinds of
unattractive issues in your tissues.

Brene’ Brown, shame researcher, explains it like this: “The subtleness of shame lies deep within
your soul and whispers false deception. Shame is all about fear and disconnection. This feeling of
fear results in ridicule and affects how we view ourselves, either inferior, diminished or flawed.”

Shame is like mold. Until it comes out into the light it continues to grow. You too may find yourself
ashamed at various times in life. This often happens when we believe we are the mistakes we’ve
made. Humans believe man’s opinion is higher than God’s opinion. This unbelief results in fear and
the disease to please.

Jesus gave your shame the death BLOW! He took your place on the cross and included all your
shame! You can be free of feeling unworthy, humiliated, and intimidated. (a few of life’s heavy-duty
offenses). The weight of shame was not heavier than the cross Christ carried to Calvary. The
inner wounds of shame were punched with nine inch nails! When Christ said, “It is finished!” His
blood covered your shame. God’s grace outweighs every shame and now we can lived unashamed!

Say “yes” to your new outfits!

When you find right-fitting outfits, it feels comfortable and is a great reward in the physical sense. But
when the Lord heals you spiritually, the gifts are even greater. But too often we settle for less than
His best.Your true essence was given at creation and comes from the knowledge of who you are in
Christ, not a clothing label or measuring tape. No matter what your reflection says back to you, the
inner beauty of Christ validates your purpose for living and rewards your faith.God loves your inner
design and is devoted to growing you into His likeness. We subject our heart’s appetites to many
distractions, trying to fit into the worldly mold and measurements through our society and culture.
Worldly influence will fast track you to a personal prison. Remember: It’s not a size you wear; it’s all
about your identity in Jesus! God looks at each of us with His heart by His grace, mercy, and love.
He blesses the work of His own hands. We are His workmanship, His poetic statement, His glory
revealed on the earth. He adds grace, strength and kindness in ways we can’t understand. His love
is the inner woven design and is our true north! What we love points the way to victorious living or
deters away from it.

God didn’t just start you…Jesus completes you! He made you and knows your name. God knows
your beginning and end. He loves with an everlasting kind of love and sets eternity in each of our
hearts. Every other type of worldly measurement or standard will pass away; the body of Christ (the
church) represents Jesus and is the visual aid of Heaven. We are defined by Jesus who is our
victory!

Living a Lifestyle Fitted With Hope

As you’ve read my story, my prayer is that you caught a glimpse of how God’s grace can give hope
to your story. Grace is not just a little prayer you say before receiving a meal; it’s a lifestyle.Trust the
process. There are many changes that must be made to step towards the “new you.” Though
change is hard, you can comfort yourself with the assurance of faith. The Lord is still the same,
yesterday, today, and forever. He is right here to help you just like He was yesterday. He will carry
you when you feel like you can’t go on tomorrow or when your long-term goals seem out of
reach. This journey we are all on is based on God’s inexhaustible grace. Take changes one step at
a time, casting off old addictions, habits, sticky labels, and lies in exchange for God’s truth as you
go. Even if you aren’t where you want to be, yet, don’t turn back. Leave your old baggage behind;
where you’re headed you won’t need those ill-fitting outfits, anyway. Have confidence and know you
are growing and becoming more Christ-like!

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Remember, the way God feels about you is not changed by how you feel about yourself. Accept
God’s grace as a gift, and joyfully trust God, embrace the grace given you. Receive His strength
and gift of hope to spur you on towards your goals. Don’t settle for less than the pure life Jesus
has died to give you. The MOST important confidence you need is to live forgiven and give God
glory for GRACE. Have perseverance, stick with what works and embrace your imperfections. As
the Holy Spirit continues His work you can experience a lifestyle fitted with hope.

I’ll leave you with a few questions:
What one thing can you change to move forward?
What next step can you make to gain freedom?
What’s a first step you can take to “clean” those hindrances out of your soul’s closet?
What is in the way of you tackling those idols?
You ready? Let’s make room for more grace in your closet!

Janelle Keith wrote a book that compiles her whole story
published by Woven Books. She is Co-founder of Woven
Books along with Lori Clapper, Editor. She serves as the
Author Mentor. She also is a content partner with You
Version Bible App. She has written several plans regarding
relevant topics. Her book Grace For Your Waist - Living A
Lifestyle Fitted With Hope is Available on Amazon, Barnes &
Noble, and Books A Million.
Also available from her personal
website: www.thejanellekeith.com and www.wovenbook
s.com. In the coming months she will have the audio book
on Audible. It's exciting times!

Walking "Shortly after my 4th
birthday, I was run over
In Faith
by a drunk driver."

While sleeping in my own toddler bed. In
the middle of a hot July night. It was 1981.
Sounds outrageous, right? Well, it is. But it
is also true. My name is Nicole Allshouse.
And this is my true story.

Dean Charles lost control going upwards of
90 miles per hour and crashed through my
childhood home. He hit me head-on,
sending me airborne across the room and
leaving me buried under a pile of plaster
and debris. My father had to punch through
a door to find me and only discovered my
limp body after begging me to move
something if I heard his screams. I wiggled
my pinky finger. I don't remember my
mother shaking with fear in the ambulance
or my 6-year-old brother standing in the
room we shared, wiping smoke and tears
from his eyes. But I do recall the pain. So
much blood and pain. Broken legs, a
shattered knee cap, broken growth plate,
and internal swelling.

Dean was high on drugs and drunk —
more than three times the legal limit.
His family had connections, and we
were the working middle class. The
police department lost the evidence,
and the case was thrown out of court,
even with a car inside of my home. The
young driver walked free. We did not
get a penny, and I spent the next 15-
plus years growing up in the orthopedic
unit of Rainbow Babies and Children’s
Hospital in Cleveland.

Being laid out on the operating table was an I never once heard my parents speak a
annual event, it seemed. Sometimes more negative word about the drunk driver who put
often than that. I was in the hospital for weeks me there. And if you are not taught hate at
and months at a time. Physical therapy was home, you don’t inherit the feeling. I am
brutal. Trying on swimsuits as a teenager was thankful my parents never expressed that
even more painful. My parents had to make emotion, therefore I never had any bad
the three-hour roundtrip commute from my feelings toward Dean Charles. I guess you
small town in Ohio to visit me each day. My could say I forgave him before I ever knew his
dad did not have the option to be a full-time name.I am also grateful I was raised in a small
caregiver because we needed his job and town in the Midwest, where everyone knew
insurance to pay for my mounting medical what happened. Parents were able to prepare
bills. And my mom was forced to walk away their children, so when they would see me at
from her career to raise my brother, while also school on crutches, with metal bars sticking
tending to my constant physical needs. Money out of my femur, they offered to help instead of
was tight, and we had to move in with my poking fun. And, luckily, my brother was two
grandparents because our home was years older and able to shield me from a hand-
destroyed. Some of

ful of comments I’m confident floated through

my schooling happened inside the hospital the school halls. There is so much I have to be

ward, and most of my biggest lessons grateful for, looking back. When I was rushed

happened in rehab. Certainly, my childhood to the hospital, a paramedic named Vince

was anything but ideal. But believe it or not — Gildone held my left leg, so it stayed together,

it was also perfectly divine. God didn’t do this without the bone pushing through the skin. No

to me. He simply allowed me to be destroyed doubt, God put him in my path that night

only to rebuild me in His vision. When people intentionally. Then a doctor named Peter

see all the scars on my legs, notice my limp or Scoles saved that same leg when all of his

catch a glimpse of my deformed left knee, the peers wanted to amputate it. He was a Navy

number one question they ask; “Don’t you trained surgeon who had worked with

wish that accident didn’t happen?” I never extensive knee reconstruction during his time

hesitate when I respond; “I cannot change the serving in Vietnam. He took a gamble on

past. The accident made me who I am today, himself and me. The young doctor’s job was

and I love who I’ve become, so no — I don’t threatened if it didn’t work. He won. And so did

wish my childhood was any different.” All the I. I believe God put him in my path so I can

years I was stuck in the hospital, confined to a walk, swim, and bike today.

bed,

66

As I got older, countless medical
professionals told me there was a
good chance I would never be able
to have children. I remember telling
this to my now-husband when we
were dating. He replied with seven
words, “Well, I guess we can adopt
then.”

Being laid out on the operating
table was an annual event it
seemed. Sometimes more often
than that. I was in the hospital for
weeks and months at a time.
Physical therapy was brutal.



I am grateful God gave me a
man that is the epitome of
acceptance. He loves every
inch of me. And by the way,
God blessed us with three
healthy children. I carried
them all full-term by our
Savior’s grace. And I even
named our middle son after
the surgeon that believed my
left leg was worth fighting for.
My prayer for both of my sons
and my daughter is that they
all grow up and find someone
AND something in this life
worth that same kind of fight.

Are some days hard? Of course, they are. I limp when it rains, when I am tired, and when I
gain any kind of weight. Finding cute pants that fit properly is impossible with my left knee
cap bigger than my right and a left femur that bows out with every step.

Nicole and her mom during one of her My right leg is a bit longer than my left,
many hospital stays so I have to remember each morning to
place an insert in my shoe to help even
out my hips. I was supposed to be 5’9,
but doctors stopped my growth at 5’5
because I was entering high school and,
quite honestly, couldn’t bear the thought
of another operation. My scars have
faded, but still very much mark up my
body, hip to toe. I used my Christmas
money one year not for a purse or the
latest fashions, but for a weight bench to
help keep my muscles strong. I have
arthritis, and that will only get worse. I
will have to eventually have a total knee
replacement. But I am hoping I can
make it another eight years before that
day comes. I am 42 now. I still get
plenty of stares and questions when I
wear shorts or a bathing suit. And I’ve
had to explain to my kids why I can’t run
very fast when they want to play ball.
My memory also fails me. I think being

put under so many times with heavy anesthetics affected so much of what I can recall, past
and present. But all of this is just taxing, not terminal. It is tiring, not terminal. It is temporary,
not terminal. I know God will restore me when I get to Heaven, and I hold onto that truth
because I know Heaven is forever.

70

I would argue, growing up in a hospital, made me a better version of me. Seeing children die
around me made me realize life is incredibly short. Don’t get caught up in the drama, gossip,
and pettiness of the world. None of it matters in the end anyway. Instead, be the person who
spends time figuring out ways to spread joy to others, instead of comparing yourself to
others. Seeing my older brother sneak in, under a food cart, after visiting hours to play cards
with me made me realize God will figure out ways to comfort you, even in the rough times, if
you just look for His signals. Seeing children lose limbs made me realize God never intended
life to be centered around pleasure and entertainment. He gives us challenges, so we learn
how to fight. He hands us mouthfuls of misery so we can fully appreciate His blessings. And
no matter how much pain he places in our path, we must thank Him each day anyway.
Waking up with a grateful heart each morning is a game-changer. It transforms a mindset
from victim to survivor. Seeing parents drop to their knees in the hospital made me realize the
power of prayer. There are some things surgery can fix. But many things, only the Lord can
heal. I saw this first hand. He has the final word.

Nicole's scars today

Seeing doctors and nurses come into work each day exhausted from working absurdly long hours
made me realize God has a purpose for every human on this earth. He gives us infinite talent. And if
you’re living right, that talent should be used to help others. Those in the medical field are angels on
earth. No one should have to see what they see, especially when it comes to sick and injured
children. Seeing strangers volunteer and come in to visit us in the pediatric unit made me realize the
good in humanity. As much hate as there is in this world, there is more love. Love always
wins. Seeing community members donate the funds to buy the hospital new playground equipment
made me realize money is only as good as what it is used for. And if God blesses you with wealth, it
is your social responsibility to help others. Seeing my own family come back, day after day, and
week after week made me understand unconditional love. The purest kind of love—like the love God
has for you, me, and all of His children. My parents’ marriage, after plenty of counseling, survived
that accident. That is all God’s work too. Fifteen-plus years of juggling a sick child can take its toll on
the strongest of humans. Seeing my grandfather, Nicholas Williams, a wounded VET who served in
WWII, get on the floor next to me — eye to eye — and scream affirmation to me, telling me he would
not allow me to give up, made me realize the strength of the human spirit and how positive words
can change the direction of another human’s life. Seeing my roommates over the years cry
themselves to sleep, just like I did some nights, made me understand empathy is more than a word.

It’s a feeling that is still in my gut when I think back to those boys and girls I grew up with. Seeing how I
fought all those years, fell down, stood back up only to fall again, made me realize the race is not about
winning, but about giving your all and competing. I overcame because I made the decision at a young
age to choose happiness every single day. It is your choice, just like it is mine. My accident also affected
how I parent now as an adult.

I teach my kids to be kind to everyone because you never know someone’s story. You never know
what they went through or are going through. Be nice, even if you don’t agree. Be respectful, even if
you don’t agree. Love, even if you don’t agree. God will be the judge in the end. Not us.

It’s as simple as that. I also tell my kids all the time that
life is not fair. No one promised it would be. Others
may have what appears to be an easier journey, but
that doesn’t make it any better.

I remember back in 1981, I was running around the Nicole with her husband
house the same summer as my accident, and I saw and children
God. I was chasing my brother, and when he turned left
to go the swing set, I turned right. God was floating just
above my head. We had a long conversation and, after,
I ran into the house and told my mom. She asked what
we talked about and I told her I couldn’t remember.
Looking back, there is no doubt in my mind, God came
to warn me. He told me something terrible was going to
happen, but He would carry me out alive. Again, He
allowed me to be destroyed, but He didn’t take me back
to Heaven with Him. He saved me to share this story.
His story. So if you need any affirmation that He exists,
hear me loud and clear. He does. He always has. He
always will. Live for Him. The rest is just details. As I sit
here writing this, I am still amazed at His grace, all
these years later. In 1981, some doctors thought I
would never live. In 2020, other doctors still can’t figure
out how my left knee cap, composed of nothing but my
own shattered bone and no cartilage is holding
together. They say I’m a medical mystery—an
anomaly of sorts. I just smile and tell them, “No
mystery here. It’s all God.”

Nicole Allshouse is an Emmy Award Winning Journalist and AP
Best Reporter Award Winner. She graduated Cum Laude from
Kent State University, interned at CNN in Washington, DC and
started her career as a weather anchor for ABC in Joplin, MO.
She moved to NBC where she was a crime/investigative
reporter first in Rock Hill, South Carolina, then onto Charlotte,
North Carolina. After covering multiple murders involving youth
offenders, Nicole lobbied the FDA to print suicidal and
homicidal warnings on the back of anti-depressants prescribed
to juveniles. Her career then shifted with FOX News in Altanta,
GA. It’s there she broke multiple national and international
stories including a planned Terrorist attack in DC by a GA Tech
student and the most egregious police corruption case in
Altanta’s history involving the killing of Kathryn Johnston. In her
30’s, Nicole met a man from Alabama and moved to
Birmingham in 2008 to marry him. The same year, she started
with ABC and launched a morning entertainment show called,
Talk of Alabama, that she has anchored ever since. During that
time, she and her husband have welcomed 3 children and
currently reside in Mountain Brook, AL. In her spare time,
Nicole is a motivation speaker - talking to churches and schools
about an ordeal in 1981, after a drunk driver almost took her life
at 4 years of age.

She dedicates much of her time to corporate coaching, Her social media handles are
where she trains executives and business leaders @nicoleallshouse on FB and
strategies for becoming stronger communicators internally @nicoleallshousetv on IG. You can
and externally. Nicole also runs her own media consulting also reach her at
business, called All Media Consulting Pro, helping small nicoleallshouse.com or on
businesses to Fortune 500 companies develop at strategic @scarnation on both FB and IG.
communication plan, as well as media crisis training. This
year, Nicole also launched her own lifestyle blog,
nicoleallshouse.com where she dives into the life of a
working mom, sharing stories of her home life, faith, recipes
and interior design! In addition, Nicole debuted
SCARNATION this year - a community on facebook and
instagram where women can share stories of surviving and
overcoming any pain or hardship life sends their way. She
hopes the testimonies on the page can encourage others
not to give up, but instead to dream up! She is currently
working on her first Childrens book with a goal for a 2020
publication. Now at 42 years old, the entrepreneur, mom,
and journalist says her primary focus each day is to wake
up and “choose happiness.

R efocus
emove&
enew
by Nicole Drayer

“Create in me a clean
heart, O God, and
renew a right spirit
within me. Cast me not
away from your
presence and take not
your Holy Spirit from
me. Restore to me the
joy of your salvation and
uphold me with a willing
spirit.”

Psalm 51:10

As much as I love wintertime with the cold Let’s take a closer look… I don’t know about
crisp air and fresh fallen snow gently
blanketing the earth, there is something quite you, but our basement becomes the “catch-
beautiful about this time of year. During this
lull in-between late winter and early all” in our house. One minute it is clean and
springtime - something begins to happen. To
be honest, it is not very pretty outside at all. functional, and then over months something
As a matter of fact, it can be quite drab and
dreary…especially here in the north. begins to happen. We carry out our weekly
Everything outdoors seems brown and
muddy with not much color hue. Most of cleaning upstairs and little by little begin to
nature still seems either dormant or dead.
But something marvelous begins to occur place unwanted or unused items…where? In
and I love to witness it on my hikes
throughout our back wooded area. As I walk the basement of course! I am a prime culprit
the twisted mushy earthen trails in the quiet
and still forest, I begin to see signs of life of this, I admit. Not prepared to give
once again! A tiny bud on a withered branch,
a sprout of grass shooting up through the something away or too lazy to throw it out, I
brown and decaying foliage on the ground,
and miniature leaves beginning to grow on decide to make a nice pile in the cellar.
prickly dried-out bushes. Closer to April, I
might even spy a tiny butterfly flutter by! “Hmmm, maybe we can use it later?” I think
Rebirth and renewal are happening all
around. These signs of hope are a glorious to myself. So, we begin to put things one by
site! So, what happens to the human spirit
when this time is occurring in our lives? Not one in the basement. Heap after heap,
only do we begin to feel the excitement of
fresh spring air, glimmers of sunshine, signs mounds of stuff slowly develop. The mess
of new life, and warmer weather, but this
wondrous feeling motivates us to open our grows and soon gets to a point that we
windows and begin to clean out our homes!
At least I am encouraged to do so, and my cannot find that one particular item we really
humble abode surely needs it! All the stale
inside air and dust needs removed and oh, do need! “Where is the
the clutter! Items that have been nestled
away in a hidden space or shoved aside ________________”, my husband asks? “I
throughout the winter months have built up!
It’s time to refocus, remove, and renew along don’t know,” I reply. “Somewhere in the
with all of nature! There are many valuable
lessons the Lord has taught me through basement.” That special wanted piece
simply decluttering and purging a room,
basement, or garage! becomes lost or buried. This tends to be a

source of frustration for us all. Our dungeon

also becomes a place where I would rather

not navigate through to get to the laundry

room. Why? Because of all the belongings

crammed down there. I can hear myself time

and time again, “We really need to clean out

the basement.” But honestly, when do we

have an opening in our schedule to do this?

And when we do, who wants to use their

valuable time clearing out the basement?

Ugh. It’s a vicious cycle. This process

reminds me much of myself and my own

human heart. When all the clutter of life

becomes too much to bear and my heart is

heavy. The load becomes so cumbersome

that I am just plain tired and frazzled. I do

not know what to let go of and I can’t seem to

find the important things God wants me to

utilize. How does this happen? Well, over

time, friend. (just like the piles in the

basement)

75

We may be happily living life in an especially Just like spring cleaning this time of year, are
good spiritual season. We may have even you in a place where you are in desperate need
recently had an incredible God experience at of spiritual cleansing? A heart renewal? I feel
church or on a special retreat. This is a sacred your burden, friend. I’ve been there time and
time of renewal and cleansing for us. Then over time again. Let’s look to the Lord for some
some time life gets hard. We come down from help. In the first part of Psalm 51:10 it says,
the mountain and experience all kinds of “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew
situations…both good and bad. Our schedules a right spirit within me…” The psalmist is asking
quickly fill up with plenty of activities and God to help clean out his heart and make his
obligations. Item by item, box by box, we begin spirit new once again. How do we get to this
to set things aside and make piles. Our life point? Let’s look at a couple steps that I feel
begins to feel heavy as we deal with that one could be helpful.
particular sin yet again, we get the diagnosis of
our aging parents, our child is struggling with 1 Refocus I don’t know about you but,
that subject in school even more than before, when we have a room in our home that
and we become our family’s chauffer to all their needs cleaned, what action do we take? 
activities in our not-so-reliable vehicle. And We make time to stop what we’re doing and
work, don’t even let me begin! It is tirelessly begin to clean it up. This is just so with our
difficult to please that boss or one stubborn spiritual heart. We need to stop what we’re
coworker. Maybe our pet becomes sick, we doing in life and look to God.  We need to rest
took on another responsibility at church, or and make room for Him, freeze and refocus,
forgot about hosting a small group and the pause and pray, halt and cry out to the one who
house needs cleaned. It could be that there is made us.  I know this isn’t always natural and
simply not enough money in the bank account, easy in today’s faced-paced life, but it is so very
and payment is due for your child’s band necessary. We need to be still and know…that
trip...TOMORROW! Oh, and then there are all He IS God!  And remember that He is in control
the personal extracurricular hobbies, grocery and that He loves us. Are you making time for
shopping, and basic household chores to top it the Savior? Jesus went to the mountaintop to
off! All of this can cause anxiety, worry, stress, pray and spend time with the Father on
lethargy, and the panicked feeling of rushing multiple occasions.  He is our example. Look
here and there with no real time for self--the time to Jesus. Rest in him. Lay down the load. As it
we need to care for and rest our physical bodies. says in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you
But the rest we need in Him cannot even who are weary and burdened, and I will give
compare. The time to stop and be still. The you rest.” Spend time refocusing on the right
time we need to refocus on Him, remove things, so we have room for the things of God.  
unnecessary items, and to be spiritually Take time to sit as His feet, listen, pray, and
renewed. This time is critical to the health of our read scripture. If we are indeed His, then we
spiritual heart. must stop and put Him first as we are
commanded to in Luke 10:27. “Love the Lord
your God with all your heart, with all your soul,
with all your strength, and with all your
mind…”  Put Him first.

Remove Now that we’ve taken the time When we talk to God about this, we need to
confess and repent with honesty.  “Repent,
2 to slow down, we need to address the then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be
mess!  It’s time to take action and wiped out, that times of refreshing may come
analyze the pile of stuff! When an area gets from the Lord.” (Acts 3:19)   Lightening the load
overly cluttered, it is not always bombarded prepares us to be filled with more of Jesus and
with useless things.  There may be some very less of us. It helps us to see more clearly
good and important items buried underneath all through the scope of the Father and to live a
the unusable belongings. We need to take a fruitful life – ALL for His glory.
closer look at our own spiritual closet or our
heart.  We may have some valuable things 3 Renew What a wonderful feeling it is
packed away in there that have gotten lost and
dusty.  Important responsibilities or gifts to be when the cumbersome task of spring
used and shared with others that we forgot cleaning comes to an end! Isn’t it
about because they were hidden.  Bring them to
the light, clean them off, and put them to use. marvelous to walk into the space that was
However, I’m sure there are an abundance of
unnecessary items piled up and stuffed in there reorganized and purged?  It is now spacious
as well.  This can make us feel so completely
overwhelmed and burdened that we can’t even and functional again. It is pleasant on the eyes
take the next step. Sometimes the task at hand
seems too large and difficult that we may feel and no longer a source of stress. Items are in
frozen and incapable. We need to ask God for
help to do so. Ask Him…what do I need to place and can be found when needed. There is
remove?  Perhaps it is helpful to make a list
while praying. Then put it to action and obey. no more clutter and it is no longer a hazard. 
What do we need to loosen the tight grip on and
give up? Perhaps it’s time to let go of that This is just so with our heart! Once we refocus
ministry you’ve led for years and pass the baton
to someone else? Maybe it’s time to take a on Jesus, remove the load of unnecessary
serious look at the family schedule and ask, what
activities do my children or I have to give up so items, then we are ready for renewal and
we have more time for God? Or maybe it’s
swallowing our pride and simply asking for restoration once again! Look at the second part
help?  Ask and then do. All of the unnecessary
“things” cluttering our hearts weigh us down of Psalm 51:10, “…Cast me not away from your
heavily and become sin when we aren’t able to
let go and walk in obedience. presence and take not your Holy Spirit from

me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and

uphold me with a willing spirit.” After the

Psalmist asked the Lord to create in him a

clean heart and a renewed right spirit, then it

is time for restoration!  He is now in a place

where there is room for the Holy Spirit to move

and a pour out a renewed joy in the Lord! It is

a time of refreshing, clarity, peace, and

freedom. Time with the Lord is always a

moment of renewed strength and just what we

need to see Him once again.   And once we gaze

upon the Father, we must stay connected and

be willing to let go of anything He may ask.

When we live a life of surrender to Christ, He

transforms us daily. “I will give you a new heart

and put a new spirit in you; I will remove your

heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

Ezekiel 36:26

Springtime…a beautiful season for
transformation! A period of new life and
rebirth in all of nature. A time to purge
and clean out our homes. A reminder to
fervently seek God for spiritual cleansing
and a renewed heart. What are you
waiting for? Take some time with Him.
For He makes all things new!

Nicole is a teacher at heart and has a deep passion to share the
love of Christ with others and to see lives changed. She led
Children’s Ministry programs and assisted her husband for years
in youth ministry. Nicole fully embraces the importance of
sharing the gospel message with others as she has mentored
teenage girls, participated in discipleship with other women, and
volunteered at the Women’s Care Center. Since the release of
her first book, Peace by Piece: Surrendering all that is Beautifully
Broken, Nicole enjoys speaking at Women’s retreats and
encouraging others to find healing and hope through Jesus
Christ. Nicole is the mother of three amazing children: Caleb,
Eden, and Elijah (and two fur babies, Sadie and Shadow) and is
married to her best friend, Greg. She is honored to serve
alongside and support her husband in ministry as he pastors
Rolling Hills Church in Verona, Pennsylvania. She enjoys
shopping for antiques, taking long walks in the wooded area
behind her house, drinking coffee, and spending time with her
family. Nicole is an outgoing and warm personality who loves
people. It is her desire to serve Jesus with her whole heart and
give hope where it is lost through her story…ALL for God’s glory!

Brandon
c: 214.223.2075
e: [email protected]

Rock Solid

Faith is defined as the complete trust or Faith
confidence in someone or something.
Complete trust. God longs for our hearts, by Kristi Robinson
and our faith is to be our strong
foundation from which we build. Looking
back on my life, my foundation has been
riddled with cracks. In my younger days
faith, for me, had been much like a yo-yo.
Back and forth, back and forth. I had a
fire within my soul, and then Satan came
and snuffed it out. My heart longed to be
close to Christ, and slowly, that longing
faltered, and I slipped back into the ways
of the world. However, as I got older, my
foundation became a solid rock, and I
chased after God’s heart zealously.

“They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid

the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that

house but could not shake it, because it was well built.”

Luke 6:48, NIV

2017 was the year that utterly destroyed
the foundation I had worked so hard to
develop. I was a stay-at-home mom just
beginning nursing school. I had ambitions
and dreams, and I was ready to tackle the
world. I was also very happily married, but,
as it turns out, my husband wasn’t. On my
second day of nursing school, he informed
me via text that he was in love with another
woman and wanted a divorce. I was
shattered. Devastated. Heartbroken. I
honestly didn’t know how I was supposed
to do life without my husband. It was a
situation I never imagined would happen to
me in a million years, and yet, there I was…
thrown straight into the fire.

For I know the And yet, life went on. I cried daily. I
questioned my worth. I didn’t even know if I
plans I have for wanted to go on living, but I chose to do so.
you,” declares Despite how broken I was, I had to dive down
the Lord, “plans to deep and find the strength that was hidden
prosper you and not inside of me. I had to find the will to carry on. I
to harm you, plans felt so alone and abandoned, not only by my
to give you hope and husband, but by God. I was a faithful church-
goer. I loved God, and I did my best to serve
a future. Him. So, why was this bad thing happening to
me, and why did God leave me alone? I just
Jeremiah 29:11 couldn’t understand. My feelings of
abandonment only deepened when I
continued to go to church alone and the
church body stopped speaking to me. I don’t
believe this was intentional, as I think the
people of the church just didn’t know what to
say to comfort me, so they said nothing at all.
But that didn’t make the hurt I felt any better.
Eventually, I stopped going to church and
retreated into myself. I isolated myself
because I was tired of people hurting me. I
was tired of the pain I felt daily. I was tired of
life. The emotional trauma induced by my
husband’s betrayal resulted in me developing
Bipolar II disorder, though I didn’t understand
or realize this at the time. My symptoms were
unchecked, I was distraught, and I had given
up hope. It took me a long time to realize that
God had never abandoned me. God didn’t
cause the bad in my life. I'd spent so much
time blaming Him for the hurts. God was with
me through that entire season of my life, just
as He continues to be by my side now. 2017
was the year that rocked my entire
foundation, but it’s also the year that
showcased how much strength I have burning
inside of me. And it’s the year that God
carried me through, despite my lack of faith.

81

God’s not finished writing our stories. God is a faithful Father and He will never abandon us. We all
go through the valleys of life, but we don’t stay there. The hurt is just temporary and eventually God
leads us through the darkness and into the light on that mountain top. He closes doors to open up
better ones, though sometimes it’s difficult to see while in the midst of hurt. Despite my lack of faith
and blaming Him for the hopelessness that I felt, He faithfully stayed by my side until I came out of
the storm. My faith now is solid and I praise God for his faithfulness, support, and love. Our God is
great, and His love for us can move mountains!

“Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith like a
grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to

there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Matthew 17:20

Kristi is a devoted mother to 5 amazing girls ranging in age from 20 months to 12 years.
She and her husband, Jeb, live in Princeton, TX, which is in the DFW area. She is an LVN
in a mental health clinic where she works hand in hand with insurance companies to ensure
clients get the medications they need in order to thrive. She loves music and photography
and is in the process of joining these ministries at church. She also has a blog of
WordPress detailing her struggles with self-love, self-esteem, and personal acceptance.
She found her faith through Jesus Christ at the age of 10 in church camp and continues to
live a life devoted to Christ.

Website: Totalacceptanceblog.wordpress.com
Facebook: @KRSPhotography

Linen Wrapped

Grace

by Brandy Hynes

T he breeze was finally blowing warmer, the windows open to all that lie ahead. I couldn’t
wait to step outside and usher in the grace of new beginnings. Each hope-filled footstep
clinking against the brick all-seasons room, until I opened the door to our plank-wood table,
worn and battered from the winter winds. It was set for our gathering, yet the plates were
mis-matched and broken. The linens stained, the flowers drooping. The clutter left little room
for anything and anyone. This wasn’t the breath of care-free I was hoping to bring. Spring
ushers in the fresh and the new. The growth and the glory. We seize the freedom that hangs
on the air of fresh lilies and wildflowers and sun bonnets tied with hope. Growth happens in
a space that speaks freely.

An expectant breath of heavy so often accompanies our new. Somehow our expectations
pile up by spring and overwhelm us with the extra toys and winter hats. Do we stack those
goals on the end table with the books to read later? Pack them away with the Christmas
decor to dust off again next year? Toss them out? Or throw them into the spring breeze,
running beside them in the hopes they take flight and carry us away?

83

Somehow all the extra can hold up empty. Until we started purging our lives right along
The running and the ragged come hovering with the winter sweaters and broken toys.We
in with the storm clouds meant to usher in shelved some activities for a later date, we
those freedom flowers. There was a time tossed things that didn't breathe life, we let
when spring meant a final sprint into the fun- go of the good because it just wasn't great.
filled summer days, the last mile of the hurry. We donated time to one another. We chose
The roses in bloom blurred to the running. our plates. Life becomes simpler when we
Those first days of summer met my family organize clutter, in the pantry and in our
with all the exhaustion a lazy hammock purpose. Just as cleared off shelves
could hold. Spring carried too much welcome purposeful places for the things we
scurry. We were circus performers in life, need most. A cleared-out schedule leaves
juggling and twirling in the worldly pace. Our space to welcome our motivations, our
life was full of meaningful pursuits. We led callings, the things that bring life most. When
ministries. We coached and played soccer, we do less, we can be more. Lessen the
studied at Awana, served and learned at load, sweet friend. Slow the spinning. Take
homeschool co-op. We had music lessons that breath of heavy expectation and exhale
and gymnastics, bible study and serving. We it into the discerning sunlight. Spread your
spun every plate handed us. Some were days out right there in the garden and
beautiful China patterns that we knew examine each activity that takes you away.
carried the beauty of life long moments. Do they bring you life? Do they carry you
Activities that were great and the very best away to a place of seizing His joy in a
choices for our family. Others were sensible carefree flight under the clouds? If they
dinner plates that had always served a don't, if they keep the chill of hurried days,
purpose at our table, but we'd held them for and breaths too heavy to fill your lungs, toss
so long that we'd stopped noticing how them aside. Stop the circus.
chipped and worn and distracting they'd
become. Sometimes we're doing good things
we've always done. But setting them down
leaves room for the great.

Some plates were paper thin and tattered,
clearly ready to be tossed aside. It can be
hard to let go of the fleeting, the endeavors
we can justify for not taking up much space,
even if their value is minimal. We danced the
spinning until our knees were wobbly, and
we knew that things would be broken if we
didn’t make a change. I couldn’t let it be our
souls. Worn out has a way of holding joy in a
bubble just out of reach, legs too tired to
jump at the catching.

That year, after the dust was cleaned from under the
couches and we had organized our cupboards and our
causes, I lie in a lazy stupor inside a hammock of soon-to-be
summer dreams. I could see the sun shining brightly outside
and knew that the breeze had changed. The air wasn’t heavy
anymore. There was a freshness, a freedom. I opened the
windows to inhale grace grown out in the garden. Grace that
I could easily exhale in intentional love. The air smelled
sweet and called me to step in further, immersing myself in
this newfound breath of His light. Gentle, peaceful steps
brushed against the brick of the all-seasons room. I marveled
at the way everything there seemed brighter, cleaner, more
useful. Each pillow on the wicker sofa laid in a way that
called out comfort.

The sun shone brightly in and warmed my face. Excitement
to step beyond the winter walls into the garden growth, filled
my lungs. And the table greeted me. Ornamentally folded
linens wrapping silverware, sitting in creative beauty next to
charming engraved plates, all etched with dreams and
desires. The callings of a God who whispers in the still
wind. I looked up, first seeing the string of lights that would
illuminate my table when the dusk and the dark later
descended. There was a stillness now. Room to look beyond
the clutter and see His path. A peaceful sitting to
welcome. Linen wrapped grace has a way of bursting
through the empty. Jesus takes the weary and the worn and
restores us to Him. He breaks through the clutter and the
busy and begs us to rest at a place of choice. If only we’ll sit
at our table, choosing our plates to make room for Him.

As a writer and Community Ministry Leader, Brandy guides families
to deeper connection with one another and with Jesus. She is
passionate about forging close relationships in families and
marriages with Jesus at the center. She hates small talk and would
prefer to dig deep with others to seek encouragement in Christ.
Brandy is a homeschooling mom to 7 precious, rambunctious kiddos
and wife to the absolute coolest. Their days are filled with coffee and
laughter and a whole lot of harmonious chaos.

website: brandyhynes.com
Instagram: brandyhynes

It's time to make space for hearing Him.

There is no shortage of noise in our Is this a season where God is pruning
culture. We're constantly bombarded you? Will He lead you to address areas of
with input through television, social your life that will require purging,
media, politics, music, and the news. cleansing, and refocusing? Are you
With so much external data that our available to that?
brain has to process, when do we have
the time and space to hear the small May this seaosn be one that you
whisper of God? welcome as God seeks to lovingly mold
you more into the likeness of His Son.
Spring is synonymous with cleaning and
purging, rebirth and restoration. Dormant May you bravely look in the mirror and
plants rise, seemingly dead things come see what God sees: a daughter of the
back to life. Hibernating animals reappear. King, a woman of God who was created
Flowers bloom and trees bud. It's a time with a purpose, and a child of the Lord
when nature takes a collective deep breath. commissioned to love God first and most
and share Him with the world.
In our culture it's easy to be over-
May this be a time when you boldy step
committed, over-stimulated, and forward to run toward Christ and, leaving
your jar at the well, tell others who He is
overwhelmed. With constant input from the and what He means to you.

world, taking time to rest, refocus, and

renew is difficult to achieve.

Looking at the seasons is a beautiful You need only be available to Him.
metaphor for our own lives. The process of Because the woman at the well made
Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter is a herself available that day, many in her
promise to us that what dies can be reborn community were saved. Be a woman who
The same God who designed the changing has HEARD for herself that Jesus really
of seasons is the God who promises to is the Savior of the world. (John 4)
walk beside us and never abandon us. He
has promised that even while we face trials
in this life, He has already overcome the
world.

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