Santaland Diaries

PRESENTED BY
AND

SPONSORED IN PART BY

NOV. 24–DEC. 22, 2017

Comedy—Theatre PG-13

For mature elves only.



SPONSORED IN PART BY

Love. Marriage. And all that comes with it.

JAN. 25–FEB. 11, 2018

Wednesdays–Saturdays at 7:30 p.m.
Sundays at 2:00 p.m.

TICKETS $26/$30
Tickets available today at the LCT box office or online Jan. 8

608-784-9292 | www.lacrossecommunitytheatre.org
Weber Center for the Performing Arts, 428 Front Street South, La Crosse

A proupdrospdouncstioornof this
p. 4

La Crosse Community Theatre,
Pump House Regional Arts Center

and Casino Bar present

THE SANTALAND DIARIES

By DAVID SEDARIS
Adapted by JOE MANTELLO

Starring

MICHAEL SCOTT

Originally Directed for LCT and the Pump House by

ANNE DRECKTRAH

Originally produced in New York
by David Stone and Amy Nederlander-Case on November 7, 1996

Special Acknowledgments

Thank you to all who made this production possible, including Theresa Smerud for photography.

Production and Design Staff

Original Director.........................Anne Drecktrah Costume Designer.........................Irina Christel
Stage Manager............................. Dylan Thoren Set Decoration............................ Dillon McArdle
Technical Director...............................Tim Harris

p. 5

Director’s Note

“I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving,
charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem
by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people as if they really were fellow
passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.”
—Charles Dickens

Biographies

MICHAEL SCOTT I list my LCT roles experiences while the girl pouted in her room. On
in The Odd Couple (Felix) and Lend a trip to Busch Gardens, which was my last trip, I
Me a Tenor (Max) among my most chaperoned two teenagers, one from New Jersey and
memorable and have appeared in one from Los Angeles, who shared their experiences
many other shows elsewhere, includ- growing up black in this country. Interesting people
ing Noises Off (Gary) at UW-La Crosse and The Merry are lurking everywhere.
Wives of Windsor (Master Ford) at the Fairbanks
Shakespeare Theatre. Aside from being a copywriter DYLAN THOREN I think it would
and storyteller, I have also found work as a shepherd be safe to say that the worst job
at a historic farm museum outside the Twin Cities. I I’ve had was working in retail. The
have also been employed as a mobile disc jockey, a retail business I worked for mostly
film projectionist, a substitute teacher (all subjects), employed snobby girls in their twen-
a blacksmith, a movie theater usher, an errand runner ties who never spoke a word to me and just gave me
when Jay Leno came to town, a walking tour guide, strange looks of disapproval (maybe that’s just how
a Shakespearian actor in Alaska, and the Kwik Trip I imagined it). It was an hourly-paid position, so of
Urge. I learned from all these jobs that any work is course I really just wanted time to go by fast. It never
good work. I’d like to thank my wife for taking on the seemed to, however, no matter how many times I
extra work at the home front. looked at the clock. While this store offered a great
ANNE DRECKTRAH Probably the discount to employees, I quickly found that I basically
oddest job I’ve had—though it gave my entire paycheck back to the store. This job
seemed perfectly normal at the made me realize a couple of things. First, I am far
time—was as a chaperone for“The too impatient to work in retail. Secondly, I need a job
Dating Game,”which some of you where I am not allowed to spend my shift looking
may remember was produced by Chuck Barris and through clothes only to be tempted to purchase them
was immensely popular in its day. I was given airline later with my discount. Oh, and also, I never want to
tickets, an itinerary, money to cover expenses, and work with snobby girls in their twenties again.
sent places near and far with the couple who won
the trip—mostly people you might not choose to
spend much time with in real life. I looked at these
trips as a sort of location scout for where I’d like to
return without strange traveling companions. How-
ever, on a trip to the Bahamas, the young woman’s
mother broke the rules and joined us. The guy, the
mom and I had a great time enjoying the food and

p. 6

Biographies

TIM HARRIS The most interesting DILLON McARDLE I once worked
job I ever had was working for a 24- for a close relative who owns his
hour restaurant in high school. For own cleaning business. Every day we
the most part this was fairly mun- cleaned different office buildings,
dane as far as restaurants go. What I churches and the like. Each day
really learned—aside from the joy of cooking—was was different. I basically tagged along and was told
how to have fun while at work. The best time to really what to do when we got to each location. One day,
push our boundaries was during the“dreaded”bar I showed up to work and drove to a place that I had
shift. For those of you uninitiated, this is an overnight not been to before. I was handed some rubber boots
shift, catering to a less than sober crowd. Everything and gloves and was directed to clean a very large
we did was harmless; we were just trying to keep the bathroom in a factory. It was seriously the most foul
night entertaining for ourselves. We exchanged name thing I have ever done! Without going into too much
tags in the dining room (I was Thaydra and she was detail, just imagine the most filthy bathroom you
Tim), drew pictures inside of people’s omelets with can. Now multiply that by ten. It took a hose and lots
the fillings, and one night we decided to deep fry a of scrubbing to finish that job.
whole egg—shell and all. If you were wondering, no, DAVID SEDARIS (Author) With sardonic wit and in-
we didn’t serve the deep-fried egg. cisive social critiques, David Sedaris has become one
IRINA CHRISTEL“The thing of America’s pre-eminent humor writers. The great
that’s great about being a costume skill with which he slices through cultural euphe-
designer is you never know what’s misms and political correctness proves that Sedaris
going to be next; you never know is a master of satire and one of the most observant
what world you are going to enter” writers addressing the human condition today. He
–Coleen Atwood. The oddest job I ever had was back and his sister, Amy Sedaris, have collaborated under
in Kazakhstan in the late 1980’s when I was working the name“The Talent Family”and have written
at the Regional Fashion House. The company sent me half-a-dozen plays, which have been produced at La
and one of my co-workers to the newest trend in Ka- Mama, Lincoln Center, and The Drama Department
zakhstan—the Pageant Competition. Our company in New York City. These plays include Stump the
was one of the sponsors for the event and made the Host, Stitches, One Woman Shoe, which received
dresses and swimsuits for the contestants. I made an Obie Award, Incident at Cobbler’s Knob, and
most of the evening dresses and all of the swimsuits The Book of Liz, which was published in book form
for the women. Our company wanted inside informa- by Dramatists Play Service. David Sedaris’s original
tion about what was going on backstage. So, my radio pieces can often be heard on public radio’s This
co-worker and I were nominated to participate in the American Life. David Sedaris has been nominated
pageant. We were supplied with all of the clothing. for three GRAMMY Awards for Best Spoken Word and
All we needed to do was learn how to dance (very Best Comedy Album. His latest audio recording of
specific dances, required by the rules) and literally new stories (recorded live) is“David Sedaris: Live for
“spy”on what participants deal with and what judges Your Listening Pleasure”(November 2009). A feature
look for. Ideally, this insider’s view of the event would film adaptation of his story C.O.G. was released after
help our fashion company get more business in the a premier at the Sundance Film Festival (2013).
future. Of course the two of us weren’t very serious
about winning. We did it just for the experience and
information. What I learned from this odd job was
you cannot fake excitement on command. If I was
interested in competing, I might have won first place!

p. 7

Coulee Region Join us!

Improv and Sketch
Festival

2018

Feb.
2018

Mar.
2018

…for the second May
2018
half of our season!

608-784-9292 | www.lacrossecommunitytheatre.org