College Essay

232 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS C 144
D 152
Knife D 162
Five Families D 169
**Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? C 173
**Rock, Paper, Scissors C 176
I Shot My Brother C 192
Dying Bird D 207
Breaking Up with Mom A 209
Barbie vs. Terrorism and the Patriarchy B 211
Grandma’s Kimchi

Mazes

*Almost none of these students titled their essays (the exception is “Barbie
vs. Terrorism and the Patriarchy”); I gave them titles to make referring to
them easier.
**These are supplemental essays, submitted in addition to the main
personal statement, while the rest of the essays in the book are main
personal statements.

Acknowledgments

I STARTED MAKING A LIST of all those who have contributed
to this book, then felt like I was planning a wedding and started to
get nervous about the people I’d forget to mention. So I stopped and
wrote this instead.

Thank you to all the amazing friends, mentors, and colleagues
who’ve contributed so much, both directly and indirectly, to this
book. You know who you are.

And thank you, in particular, to the students who so generously
allowed me to use their essays for this book; to my best friend, Ryan
Maldonado, who has taught me so much about writing; and to my
wife, Veronica, and my daughter, Zola, who are my favorites.

Index

A Career placeholders, 92–94
Challenges. See also specific essay
Amazing essays, qualities of, 172–182
type; technique
B connecting to career, 41–59
connecting to values, 74–84
“Barbie vs. Terrorism and the examples, 40, 43–45, 72
Patriarchy,” 112, 207–209, unresolved conflicts, 190–191,
214–215 192–195
writing tips, 40–41, 72–73,
“Behavioral Economics,” 65–68 75–77, 81–83
“Bowling,” 76, 78, 85–87
Bragging, 119–120 Conclusions. See Endings
Brainstorming content, 1–12, Conflicts. See Challenges
Core values, xii–xiv, 119–120, 126,
140–141, 225–230
“Breaking Up with Mom,” 112, 128–129, 184, 186. See also
specific essay type
192–195, 198
“Burying Grandma,” 134–137 Core Values Exercise, 8–12
essay analyses, 30–38, 49–50,
C
213–220
Career, future, 10, 12, 21, 114. See examples, 8–9
also specific essay type

Index 235

of intended career, 60–62 Essays for students who did not face
predictable vs. unexpected, significant challenges and do not
know future career
46–51, 78–80 examples and analyses, 28–30,
tips for improving your essay, 36–38, 96–101, 152–155,
207–209
188–189, 190–191 writing guide for, 89–101
Craft, 101, 185, 186–187, 197,
Essays for students who faced
213–220 significant challenges and do
know future career
D examples and analyses, 22–24,
30–32, 54–59
Depth and complexity, adding, writing guide for, 40–59
121–137, 198–201
Essays for students who faced
“Dying Bird,” 110–111, 133, 176–178, significant challenges and do not
181–182 know future career
examples and analyses, 26–28,
E 34–36, 85–89
writing guide for, 71–89
“Easter,” 56–59, 137–138
Emotion. See Depth and complexity, Essence Objects Exercise, 1–7, 10–11
Everything I Want Colleges to Know
adding
Endings about Me List, 226–228

elliptical, 109, 179–182 F
surprising, but inevitable, 137–
Failures, writing about, 195
140, 150–160, 179–182 Feedback, 204–206
unresolved challenges, 192–195 Feelings and Needs Exercise, 121–130
“Endodontics,” 24–26, 32–34, 61–63, “Five Families,” 91, 152–160
103–104, 116–117, 120, 137 Flow, essay, 102–106, 141, 203
Essays, four types of, 20–21 Focusing lens (framing device), 16–17,
Essays, goal of, 183–185
Essays for students who did not face 37, 91, 92–101
significant challenges and do
know future career
examples and analyses, 24–26,

32–34, 65–68, 69–71
writing guide for, 59–71

236 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS

G basic elements, 16–19
combining with narrative
Geeky language, 114–116
“Grandma’s Kimchi,” 111, 198, structure, 68–71
essay examples and analyses,
209–210, 216–217
Great College Essay Test, The, 24–26, 28–30, 32–34,
36–38, 65–71, 96–101,
186–187, 213–220 211–213

I N

“If Ink Were Ants,” 99–101 Narrative arc, 82–83
Images, use of, 16–17, 110–111, Narrative structure, 13, 21, 53–54

116–119 basic elements, 14–16
Insights (“so what” moments), 47–48, combining with montage

79, 139, 186 structure, 68–71
essay examples and analyses, essay examples and analyses,
213–220
importance, 62–63, 101, 184 22–24, 26–28, 30–32,
show first, then tell, 64, 34–36, 54–59, 71, 85–89,
116–119, 196–197 173–176
vs. montage structure, 17–19
Intelligence, demonstrating, 112–119, Need vs. Want Dynamic, 131–137
199–200
O
“I Shot My Brother,” 108, 109, 133,
173–176, 180–181 Objective correlative, 10–11
Off-limit topics, 75–76
K Opening sentences, 107–112
Outlines, 52–54, 80–84
“Knife,” 110, 143–147, 148, 149–150,
199 P

M Painter/art critic/curator analogy,
117–119
“Make it new” technique, 160–172
“Mazes,” 199–200, 211–213, 218–220 Partner, working with, 223–225
Metaphors, 32, 38, 138, 139 Passion, writing about, 95–96,
Montage structure, 13, 21. See also
191–192, 195
Focusing lens

Index 237

“Porcelain God,” 54–56, 108, 139 Succinct language, 198–199
Predictable vs. unexpected values, Supplemental essays, 49–50, 160–172

46–51, 78–80 T
“Punk Rock Philosopher,” 96–99
Time Line of My Life Exercise,
Q 228–230

Questions, asking, 112–114 Topic selection. See Brainstorming
content
R
“Turning dark into beautiful”
“Raising Anthony,” 26–28, 34–36, technique, 149–150
82–83, 148
21 Details Exercise, 225–226
Revising and improving your essay,
102–106, 141, 187–202 V

“Rock, Paper, Scissors,” 108–109, Values. See Core values
169–172 Verisimilitude, 147–148, 214
Vulnerability, 172, 184, 186, 189–196,
S
213–220
“Santur,” 49–50
“Scrapbook,” 28–30, 36–38, 91 W
Setup and payoff technique, 142–147,
Want vs. Need Dynamic, 131–137
150–160, 196 “What I Found on the Farm,” 87–89
Sharing too much, 77 “Why Did the Chicken Cross the
Show first, then tell, 64, 116–119,
Road,” 134, 162–169
196–197 “With Debate,” 22–24, 30–32, 47–48,
Sixth Sense, The ending technique,
102–103, 114, 119–120, 133, 139,
150–160 199
“So what” moments. See Insights Word choice, 114–116, 198–200
Starting over, 201–202 Writing, struggling with, 140–141
“Stomach Whisperer,” 47–48, 69–71 Writing your essay in one night,
Structure, 102–106, 141. See also 202–204

Montage structure; Narrative
structure; Outlines
Style tips, 198–201

Credit: Brad Buckman Photography About the Author

ETHAN SAWYER IS A NATIONALLY
recognized college essay expert and a sought-­
after speaker. Each year he helps thousands of
students and counselors through his webinars,
workshops, articles, products, and books, and
works privately with a small number of students.

Raised in Spain, Ecuador, and Colombia,
Ethan has studied at seventeen different
schools and has worked as a teacher, curricu-
lum writer, voice actor, motivational speaker, community organizer,
and truck driver. He is a certified Myers-­Briggs™ specialist, and his
type (ENFJ) will tell you that he will show up on time, that he’ll be
excited to meet you, and that, more than anything, he is committed
to—­and an expert in—h­ elping you realize your potential.
A graduate of Northwestern University, Ethan holds an MFA from
UC–Irvine and two counseling certificates. He lives in Los Angeles
with his beautiful wife, Veronica, and their amazing daughter, Zola.
To arrange for Ethan to speak at your school, conference, or event,
go to www.collegeessayguy.com.