Scrapbook Expa(ren)ts

Expa(ren)ts

Raising third culture kids 1950s-now

Contents Scrapbook Side note: All pictures in this scrapbook are free to use, or with
permission from the owner
Introduction

What is a TCK?

Expat families in the old days

- Keeping in touch
- Settling down

Expat families nowadays

- Keeping in touch
- Settling down

Conclusion

Expat scrapbook in the 50s, sent to family abroad
Courtesy Else Koning-van Vliet

Picture of a Dutch expat family on board of the Moving around and not instantly
Rijndam ship in March 1954 belonging to a new society has a big
Courtesy Else Koning-van Vliet impact on expats’ lives. But what about
their families? Children of expats grow
up as Third Culture Kids (TCK) and do
not ask for a life on the move.
Therefore it is important that
expa(ren)ts assist their TCKs in the
process of growing up as global nomads
without any troubles of not having one
culture of their own.

everyone needs a safe home base, but that Courtesy Pexels Stock Photo
does not always have to be a place. Family
and friends are just as important. Raising
TCKs with modern technologies is therefore
a lot easier than it used to be. How do
expa(ren)ts use technology in raising their
TCKs? How did expa(ren)ts manage before all
this technology became available to them?
This scrapbook takes a closer look at raising
TCKs in a modern world and in the past,
according to changing technologies.

Infographic Third Culture Kids

Infographic Third Culture Kids

Keeping in touch Before the internet, keeping in touch with your friends and family was a bit
more complicated. In the 50s, many Dutch families emigrated to Canada. The
families of Aukje Byker and Else Koning-van Vliet were among them. They
were raised abroad, as Third Culture Kids.

Picture of a steam boat on which Picture of Aukjes family with their “My parents emigrated to
Dutch families would make the first car in Canada, 1952 Canada 1951. I was a baby.
10-day trip to Canada. (above) Courtesy Aukje Byker My mother told me that
Courtesy Else Koning-van Vliet when she left she thought
she might never see her
“My parents went to Canada in 1954. I was 1 family again. I have letters
year old. Relatives thought they might never that she exchanged with her
see us again... my mother's brother followed mother - the only way they
us the next year. We went by boat that took had of staying in touch. She
10 days to cross the ocean.... My parents left waited for the letter-carrier
Canada with me in 1961, by boat again.” - to deliver those letters as
Else Koning-van Vliet they were so precious to
her.” - Aukje Byker

Airmail from 1954; trying to say as much as
possible (Below)
Courtesy Aukje Byker

“This is a letter that my ‘oma’ sent to my parents in
1954. They had to use these airmail letters and
always seemed to run out of room, so would write
very small, and write things in the margins.” - Aukje
Byker.

Fragment of letter sent by G. van Vliet to his relatives
in the Netherlands. (above)
Courtesy Else Koning-van Vliet

Translation: “We arrived safe and well in Ottawa on March 31.
Unfortunately I can only now find the time to write to you. I would
prefer to send a handwritten letter to our relatives and some close
acquaintances. But that would really take too much time. That's why I
am sitting at my typewriter and am making several carbon paper
copies of this letter while I type. I will then send a copy to all the
brothers and sisters. I know this is not a very personal approach but
as I want to give a fairly extensive overview of our adventures of late,
there is truly no other way. Next time I will, - in response to the letter
we expect to receive from you (addressed to the above address) -
write in a more personal way.”

Telegram announcing the birth of a “After 1956 there was a telephone line between Canada
nephew back in the Netherlands and Europe. my father would phone his parents in law
(left) once a year, around Christmas time so they could
Courtesy Else Koning-van Vliet speak for a maximum of 3 minutes with my mother's
parents. It was very expensive, around 100 dollars,
Only one word was used to announce the and you had to make an appointment in advance.
birth of a new family member: “Son”. Then you had to wait all day for the telephone, because
Telegrams were a fast way of they couldn’t always get a connection. The phone
communicating but you had to pay per line lay on the bed of the ocean, and when you talked
word. This way at least everyone knew to someone you would literally hear the waves. But at
what had happened, more information least my mother would be able to hear her parent’s
would follow later, by letter.
voices once a year.” - Else Koning-van Vliet.

Translation: Cocky in front of the
refrigerator. Underneath the
refrigerator is a spacious drawer
to keep fruit and vegetables fresh.
On the left you can just see our
electrical stove, with four cooking
plates and a spacious oven that
works automatically, because of a
clock. Cocky’s pride!

Instagram in the 50s (above and right)
Courtesy Else Koning-van Vliet

“My father made this little scrapbook with pictures from our house to
send to family in the Netherlands. This way they could see how we lived
in our home in Canada. This is a picture of my mother showing our
fridge, which none of our family in the Netherlands had at that time. My
father wrote little comments on the back of each picture to explain what it
was. The scrapbook also contains pictures of the different rooms in the
house, and of me.” - Else Koning-van Vliet

Settling down Expa(ren)ts have to integrate in a new culture, as well as help their
kids feel at home. Getting to know locals and their customs is very
important. But how did they do that in a world without Facebook?

Else Koning-van Vliet with her mother and her
uncle in the Canadian winter
Courtesy Else Koning-van Vliet

“My mother found settling in Canada relatively easy. She
liked the country and the people. She met most of her
friends through the church, which was a close society. She
was also close with her Canadian neighbours, whom she
kept in touch with after we moved away. We met some
Dutch people through the Dutch Society (Nederlandse
Vereniging). They were all expats. My parents spoke English
with me, so that’s still my first language. An interesting fact
is that my mother had to learn how to drive a car. Women in
the Netherlands weren’t used to doing that, but in Canada it
was impossible to get around without a car.” Else
Koning-van Vliet

Making friends Aukje Byker at
Mount Forest,
The church could play an important role in settling Canada - January
down. Else’s parents joined a church community in 1952
Canada and found many contacts there. This Courtesy Aukje Byker
community helped the family feel at home. As expats
could not meet online, clubs with members of the A 50’s Educational film for emigration
home country and churches were important places. the Dutch government made an information film
Expats could get in touch with other expats and share about moving to Canada, containing information
experiences. There were also Dutch Shops, where one about what Dutch families could expect from the
could buy cheese and black liquorice. In the fall you country and how to integrate. Watch a
could place an order, and they would get chocolate documentary on the subject here!
letters from the Netherlands, a Sinterklaas tradition. https://anderetijden.nl/aflevering/542/Emigratie-
naar-Canada

Keeping the Netherlands close (above&right)
Courtesy Else Koning-van Vliet

“I moved to Canada when I was one, so that has always felt like my
home country. My parents, however, made sure that I knew the Dutch
language and the Dutch traditions. I would always ask why I didn’t get
any gifts for Christmas, like my classmates, and my mother would
answer: “Because you get presents for Sinterklaas. [Saint Nicholas
Day]” The Dutch Society had handed out these booklets with
Sinterklaas songs (with English translation) and little explanations
about the traditions. They also organised Sinterklaas celebrations.”

Else’s ‘scrapbook’ with pictures and stories from her
vacation in France. (right)
Courtesy of Else Koning-van Vliet

“In 1962 we moved to France, I was 9. To me it felt like
leaving my home country, and my mother was also sad
about leaving Canada. Settling in France was a lot
harder. Yet I was able to pick up the language quite
quickly and even helped my parents to learn it. The
customs, however, were a lot harder to get used to. I
don't think my parents realized how difficult it was for
me to be in the French school system. Once I was old
enough to attend secondary school, my father decided
that I should attend the International Lycée. There I
was among many other TCKs, though we didn't know
that term yet... I don’t think my parents realised that
moving around, and settling into a new culture has a
big impact on children. I guess that’s very different
nowadays.”
-Else Koning-van Vliet

Keeping in touch nowadays

How times have changed… (Left)
Courtesy Moma Propaganda by MEIO & MENSAGEM

‘I have raised 4 children here in the UK. The eldest two are my step
children and both in their twenties. The younger two are now 18
and 16. I still speak to my mum weekly on the phone, we have
discussed things by email, share birthday wishes, photographs on
WhatsApp. Makes keeping in touch easier.’ - Anita Hayes

Modern technology has made it much easier for grandparents to be a part of their
TCK-grandchildren’s lives

Readeo is a video chat program with an Screenshots of website Readeo.com (above and below)
integrated online picture book reader. It has its Courtesy Readeo.com
own database of children’s books, so you just
sign in at the same time as your grandchildren,
choose a book, and read it together. The online
reader dominates the screen, and the streaming
video of grandparent/grandchild appear in little
windows beneath.

- Sarah Bringhurst Familia

Settling in nowadays

Tweets from rotating curator Lucille Abendanon about work and about socializing abroad
Every week, a new expat from all over the world tweets for @weAreXpats and shares al her/his
experiences concerning to expat-topics they are interested in. The pictures above show some tweets
about social media in an expat mothers life.

Courtesy @WeAreXpats

Expa(ren)ts share their experiences online and help each other to raise their Third Culture

Kids. Together they deal with issues like homesickness, the feeling of belonging and

languages. Screenshot of blog: Families in
Global Transition conference
2017 (right)
Courtesy figt.com

Families in Global Transition is a
welcoming forum for globally mobile
individuals, families, and those
working with them. We promote
cross-sector connections for sharing
research and developing best
practices that support the growth,
success and well-being of people
crossing cultures around the world.

Screenshot Facebook groups: Excerpt from blog: Raising TCKs is challenging but there are
Parents of TCKs. (above) benefits too. (above)
Courtesy Lucille Abendanon

Conclusion

Over the past 60 years, a lot has changed in the lives of expat families. Thanks to the internet, family and
friends are 'closer' and expa(ren)ts can easily get in touch with each other, anywhere in the world. It is even
possible for grandparents to read to their expat grandchildren online! Expa(ren)ts can share their experiences
about parenting and TCKs through blogs on the Internet. In the past, circumstances were quite different. We
have seen that in the 1950s 'instagram' was recorded for family abroad, Sinterklaas traditions remained and
expats were able to integrate with the help from the church. More difficult was keeping in touch with family and
friends: calling overseas was a one year’s opportunity and letters took ages to arrive. Therefor, parents were
less able to share their experiences about parenting. Because there is simply more information available
nowadays, TCKs can be understood and guided in the process of growing up. Thanks to technology, the
advantages of being a TCK will only grow!

Credits

Curators: Lisa Aarsen, Lise Claerhoudt

With thanks to: Lucille Abendanon, Sarah Bringhurst Familia, Aukje Byker, Anita Hayes, Else Koning-van Vliet, Amy Levin,
Manon Parry.

Sources Blogs

Literature Expitterpattica.com http://bit.ly/2BRKmyY
Casteluzzo.com http://bit.ly/2zZQYKo
Benjamin, Saija, Fred Dervin, Migration, Diversity
and Education: Beyond Third Culture Kids (New York 2015). Audiovisual material
Triebel, Christien, ‘Non-Place Kids’, 87-101. Andere Tijden: http://bit.ly/2AB5zyJ
Le Bigre, Nicolas, ‘Talking About Home’, 121-142.