Adelaide Literary Magazine No.29, October 2019

Revista Literária Adelaide

Riley sat in an empty booth and Cam- onship for a while, but she wouldn’t let it
bridge met me at the jukebox, asking, “How happen. There were threats of suicide, des-
much you need?” perate phone calls, and some mild stalking.
She finally slapped me in public because I
“A quarter?” was five minutes late, so I walked out of the
bar. She followed me into the parking lot,
“Ninety. It’s usually a hundo but Rabbit flailing her arms and screaming. I got in my
said you’re old friends.” car and locked the doors. She started kick-
ing the side. She got behind it, blocking me
I gave him a hundred anyway as a good- in, so I drove straight over the parking slab
will gesture and he told me to keep him in and straight home. She showed up a few
mind for future needs. “Absolutely,” I said. I minutes later, bea ng the doors, screaming
gave him an empty to-go cup with a lid and my name.
he went into the bathroom, coming back a
minute later. He handed me the cup and I The next morning, my car was complete-
put it in my locker, glancing quickly at the ly covered in deep key marks. I’m talking
full plas c bag inside. It stank, so I spilled the roof, sides, hubcaps…everything. I was
some bleach down the nearby sink to mask numb with anger.
the smell.
I couldn’t prove it to the police because
Riley caught my eye, wai ng pa ently in I didn’t have a photo of her doing it, while
the booth. She had a smirk like she knew holding up an I.D. and the day’s newspaper.
an important secret that no one else was I called her but her lack of surprise made it
privy to. Her dark messy hair fell across her clear that she was expec ng the call. She
shoulders and her bright blue eyes were denied it.
striking, even from feet away. A shimmer
from a small stud on her nostril flashed as The next day at work, I le my pillow and
she stood, she didn’t have on a bra, and I pajamas in clear view in my backseat when
began to wonder what her story was. Why I parked in the employee sec on to make
was she da ng a dealer? Does she accom- it look like I spent the night out. I watched
pany him on all of his runs? Or did I inter- her look into my car and proceed with an
rupt their date night? And why was she so emo onal breakdown right there. She sat
content with herself? in her car for ten minutes, crying, her head
down in her hands. The only reason that I
I got his number and Cambridge and felt bad was that I didn’t feel bad. I wasn’t
we shook hands. On their way out, Riley used to feeling nothing for someone, es-
turned to me and said, “Hi,” and waved. pecially a er da ng them, but she pushed,
and pushed, to the point that I just didn’t
“Hi,” I said, and then she was gone. care about her anymore. I was relieved to
get some distance.
The moment of a en on was nice. I had
recently broken up with by one of my co- She was fired a few days later because
workers, Becky, who I s ll had to work with. of bringing drama into the workplace. The
We made a deal that whomever broke up cops needed more proof, but my boss knew
with who had to quit but I had been work- be er. She’d been a cking me bomb for
ing there first, so I figured that working a while.
opposite schedules would be acceptable.
I had been trying to get out of that rela-

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

Months passed, and I failed out of col- “I know,” she said, “Right?”
lege again. I’d sign up for the courses, with
full inten on of a ending, but the Haw- Riley went in the other direc on. She
thorne Pub was on the way, and they had immediately moved in with her friends
an early bird, two-for-one domes cs. I be- and became the responsible one, trying to
gan hanging out with Cambridge and Riley be er her situa on. She worked as a re-
more. At first, it was just for the connec- cep onist in lawyers offices and put herself
through college and reiki cer fica on. Her
on and pool par es, but I slowly found mother ended up commi ng fraud and
myself going over just to see Riley. They stealing her iden ty, pu ng Riley in an in-
had a small house on a cul-de-sac, and his sane amount of legal issues that won’t go
backyard had a large pool house with a away. Her mom ended up in prison some-
stocked bar. A rope-swing hung from a tree where in Georgia, last she heard.
that we use when jumped from the roof
into the pool. Rabbit would be there most Riley and I started hanging out more
of the me and I started going over more and more. I went with her to buy shoes. I
and more. It became normal for people to cooked supper for her and Cambridge. I
head over once they were out of work, usu- dog-sat for them when they a ended a
ally showing up in uniforms complete with three-day fes val. I waited with her at the
nametags. It wasn’t too long un l Riley and DMV when she needed to renew her li-
I would start si ng alone together while cense. Some mes, we’d get stoned and sit
Cambridge smoked cigare es outside or on the floor, opposite each other, with a CD
went on ‘drives.’ I’ve never pursued a girl in of Tibetan monks chan ng Ohm. Our knees
a rela onship, but most of the mes that I would touch, and she’d run her hands over
went over, Cambridge sat in front of video my chest and head, never actually touching
games for hours. It was only natural that Ri- but close enough for me to feel her warmth.
ley and I would sit together, the neglected
children of the dealer. My days were split between working
and seeing her. I made it a point to buy a
She was a reiki instructor at the Yoga quarter twice a week from Came, as to be
Nook on Buckingham. Her parents were di- a good customer and welcomed visitor. I
vorced. She said that her father would sit in always brought a twelve-pack of beer, in
his car in the driveway when he got home an a empt to always-welcomed. It was an
from work for hours, talking with his mis- awkward situa on to be in; I was cour ng
tress on the phone. She and her sister would a girl with her boyfriend directly beside her.
sit in their bedroom window and watch. Fi- If Came was aware, he didn’t show it. His
nally, the father le the family and moved focus was on dealing and video games.
in with his girlfriend, leaving the mother
an emo onal mess and the daughters with One day, Cambridge was playing a live
the classic absent father syndrome. Her sis- shooter game. He was threatening some-
ter was a few years younger than her but, one through his headset. I sat on the couch,
Riley told me, she slept with over fi y men stoned as ever, watching him and wai ng
by the me she was eighteen. Two of them for more people to show. He began to tell
ended up in jail: one was a minister and me about how he was ge ng pot and edi-
the other was her high school gym teacher. bles from California through the mail from
“Yikes,” I said. his old rehab buddy.

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Revista Literária Adelaide

“Dude,” I said, “you’re going to get caught. She started separate piles on the bed.
That’s ridiculous.” I folded the towels. Her bras and throngs
were tangled together and I worked my
“No, no,” he said, “no. My guy makes the way around them as she smirked.
shipments look like a care package from a
mom to a son at college. He packs socks “I wish Came helped me with laundry.
and DVD’s, random shit. He scoops out the He’s always playing those stupid games.”
center of a peanut bu er jar and packs it
up,” he said, making the scooping mo ons “Yeah, I no ced. A er we smoke, I end
with a cigare e between his fingers,” and up just watching him un l I snap out of it
covers the top back up. Reseals it. Dogs and find you.”
don’t pick up on anything through that pea-
nut bu er, bro. Believe that.” “I wish he was more like you some mes.”

“Be careful, man.” “I’m like me,” I said, smiling.

“I will,” he said, adding, “Don’t tell Riley.” “That song “Don’t Go Away,” by Oasis al-
ways reminds me of you. I hate when you
Riley walked into the room, holding a leave. It gets so boring here.” I broke away
basket of laundry, asking, “Wanna help?” from our shared gaze and tried to hide my
excitement, but she knew what she was
“Sure,” I said. doing. “I love that song, “I said. “The end
riff always reminds me of the end of some
We went to their bedroom, the walls cov- movie when someone’s running through
ered in rippling tapestries and nag-champa an airport to stop someone from ge ng on
burning in a mushroom incense holder. Ani a plane.”
DiFranco played on a CD player and a Bob
Marley poster was duct taped to the wall “I know, right?”
next to framed black and white photographs
of Riley doing ballet. “When was this?” I’ve never tried to steal a girlfriend from
anyone, but it was becoming more diffi-
“High school. I did it professionally since cult to remain passive in the situa on. The
I was young.” more I couldn’t have her, the more I want-
ed her. The more me I spent with her, the
“You look great,” I said. more inappropriate it got.

“Thanks,” she said. “I was so wild back then.” That night, more people came over, car-
rying cases of beer over their head, joints
“Me too. It’s a miracle I’m not arrested tucked behind their ears. Cambridge called
by this point.” his pool the “liquid crystal abode,” and we
walked around in his robe with his walking
“Too bad we didn’t know each other in s ck. Their front yard looked like a parking
high school,” she said, “I probably would lot most nights. The backyard had plenty
have fucked you three mes a day.” to do: beer-pong, frisbee, cornhole, and
the rope swing. People started to assume
“Jesus Christ,” I said. “Don’t tell me that.” that I lived there too, and I tried my best to
avoid telling people how badly I wanted Ri-
She shrugged and laughed. I wanted her, ley. Rabbit showed up and I drunkenly put
and she knew it. A er she said it, I knew my arm around him and said, “Dude. I can’t
that I’d replay those words in my head over
and over again.

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

take it. I want her so bad. She’s driving me Came said, “Three Waldos are be er than
crazy.” one.”

“Dude...” he said, “Stay clear of that shit. Riley’s sister, Jessica, showed up as Cat-
That’s nothing but trouble.” woman. I was surprised that they didn’t
look anything alike and Jessica seemed to
“No, no. There’s, like, something be- not be interested in me at all. Every me I
tween us. You don’t know what she says looked at her, I couldn’t get the knowledge
when we’re alone.” I knew how the words of her sexual history out of my head. Riley
sounded as they le my mouth, but it was and Jessica disappeared into the backroom
the truth. to change, but before they le , Riley whis-
pered into her ear and Jess looked imme-
“Dude,” he said, “I’ve known her a while. diately at me. I smiled. Rabbit appeared,
A lot of guys fall for her.” But I wasn’t hear- dressed in a sexy cop ou it, and he, Came,
ing it. I explained the situa on in more de- and I sat on his front porch and drank some
tail. He listened pa ently, caressing his dark beers, watching the holiday traffic pass.
beard occasionally and mumbled in agree- Came said, “You should try to hook up with
ment. “Just like Sadie Greene, dude.” Jess. She’s a fun chick.”

“Bullshit,” I said, “that was 6th grade.” “I don’t know,” I said. “My last girlfriend
was intense. I’m taking a break.”
I grabbed another beer from the cooler,
and jumped off the roof into the pool, try- No one said anything un l Rabbit finally
ing to get Riley’s a en on. She swam over broken the silence, talking about his baby
to me, holding a drink above the water, and that he never gets to see. Came told us that
climbed on my back. Cambridge saw but he a new shipment from California arrived and
just smiled and con nued to dance around. he’ll roll up some blunts when we got back
I didn’t know what to make of it. If she was later. Apparently, it was a super-rare strain
my girlfriend, I’d have a problem with me, of bud that tastes like Christmas.
but maybe I’m just considered family? May-
be I’m no threat to their rela onship at all? “You go a be careful using the mail, dude,”
Rabbit said.
She started kissing my neck as I held
her against me. Riley smiled, wrapping her “I am, I am, but I’ve been thinking about
arms around me, and began to drop slow- another avenue for more cash-ish, and I
ly down my front, staring up to me, before want you two involved,” he said, ligh ng
disappearing underwater and swimming up another cigare e, his hair falling in this
away. What…the…hell? face. He leaned in closer, adding, “Trains.”

Rabbit and I walked down the road to “Trains?” I asked.
the Mexican-themed bar to con nue our
debate. “Yup,” he said. “And baby food jars.”

The next week was Halloween and I “Baby food?”
picked Came and Riley up to grab costumes
at the Party City. He sat in the back, tex ng, “We see the country. Go from here to
while Riley and I danced. The three of us New York. My guy out there is well-con-
decided to go as Where’s Waldo? since it nected. We can charge double down here,
was the only decent costumes le and, as and the college kids will pay anything.” He

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Revista Literária Adelaide

waved his hands through the air, as if add- made small cuts around her shirt, revealing
ing a wonderment to his proposal. small windows of flesh. Smoke machines
poured white mist throughout the crowd
Rabbit scratched his head and said, “I and the floor was s cky with spilled mixers
don’t know, bro. I’m pre y busy.” and booze. On the large teleprompter, It’s
the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown played
“I’m down,” I said, without hesita on. as the music echoed over the crowd.

The five of us got a taxi to the downtown “Jack!” she screamed, jumping into my
area for the parade and to barhop around. arms from the stage. Pulling me in closer,
There were costume contests and a zom- she yelled into my ear over the loud music
bie-walk. Music was everywhere. White and crowd, “Let’s get out here,” and took
flashes from strobe lights pulsated over my hand, dragging me through the cele-
crowds. As our taxi rounded the corner bra ng mob.
to drop us off, drunken partygoers yelled,
“Waldo! I found him!” I didn’t consider the We ran outside together, holding hands
added a en on we’d receive because of down the metropolitan streets, hearing an
our costumes. Rednecks dressed as Captain occasional, “There’s two of them,” and we
America and jocks dressed as Superman fell into a small alleyway between two brick
would bearhug me, yelling triumphantly, buildings. She laughed and put her arms
“I found him!” I stood at a urinal, no cing around my neck, looking up at me while
that I’m a Waldo, standing between Darth we made bullshit statements, like, “What
Vader and a zombie biker, all facing the wall, a great night,” and, “I need another drink.”
peeing together. Darth looked at me and
said, “Found ya.” She ran her hand over the top of my belt
buckle, and looked up at me, asking, “Have
“Yup,” I responded, giving him a thumb you ever thought about kissing me?”
up with my free hand.”
I didn’t hesitate a second before mov-
The five of us would lose each other ran- ing in. Months of pent-up frustra on came
domly throughout the night, but Riley and to a head. I kissed her, hard. We made out
Came would be easy to spot. The eye can for a few minutes, and I moved my hands
naturally find red and white caps and shirts along her sides. She pulled me closer by
within a mess of grey ghouls, bloody zom- my belt, which made me crazier. A first kiss
bies, and slu y scien sts. I saw some work with someone is always exci ng because of
friends and drank with them. Becky, the ex, the unknown. She bit my bo om lip gently
was a sexy flapper-girl and she had her arm and ran her tongue over it a er. There we
around a guy dressed as a 1920’s gangster. were: two Waldo’s kissing in an alley. It was
We saw each other and I pretended like I exci ng.
didn’t know her. It reminded me of a few
She pulled away first, pu ng her hand
mes when we’d see her ex’es in public and up against my chest, and said, “Stop. We
they’d walk in the other direc on. I thought can’t.”
it was weird at the me, but I ended up be-
coming one of them too. I said, “Right. I know,” and started kiss-
ing her neck, behind her ear.
I found Riley dancing to “The Monster
Mash,” on top of a stage at an Irish bar. She She whispered “Stop” again, and I did.

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

We walked back into the crowded area, part, must have occurred. I just hoped that
costumed people s ll yelling and raising we could s ll be friendly a er she le him
their drinks at us. Before we le the alley, for me.
we agreed to keep the kiss a secret and to
never tell anyone, but her lively demeanor He said, “He is a big boy. He knew what
changed to serious contempla on a er a he was ge ng into when we started it
block. I smiled and tried to stay in the mo- up.” He and Rabbit con nued to talk but I
ment, hoping that she’d leave Cambridge couldn’t help but repeat that phrase in my
for me as soon as possible. I figured that mind. The disconnec on from the reality
she had a rough week ahead, but I wanted shook me. Would he say the same words if
to remind her why I was the be er choice, I got caught with this “train” thing?
so I danced and laughed, hoping that my
carefree mood would appeal to her. I went home that night, collapsing into
bed with a fulfilled smile and an excitement
But it happened. in my gut, and passed out.

I kissed my dealer’s girlfriend. It finally happened.

The five of us regrouped in the middle Finally.
of the packed street. A skeleton band was
on stage playing “I Put a Spell on You,” and The next morning, I found a text from
Cambridge and Rabbit were dancing in the Riley that said, “Remember. Don’t tell any-
front, spilling the contents of their red solo one,” but Rabbit also texted me to call him
cups. Jessica was near, grinding on a guy immediately. On the floor, my damp Waldo
dressed as Harry Po er. ou it reeked of smoke and booze. I slowly
sipped some coffee and called him.
“Let’s go home,” Came said, pu ng his
arm around Riley. “Dude,” he said. “Riley told me about last
night.”
She hugged him, staring off at nothing.
“Shit,” I said, rubbing my face, “We
We all took a cab back to their house. agreed to keep it a secret.”
Riley and Jessica went to bed immediately
a er taking selfies in the bathroom. Rabbit, “She’s going to tell Came today. You bet-
Came, and I sat on his front porch, smoking ter say something first, bro, so you don’t
a blunt, while watching the chao c traffic. look like a complete asshole.”

“My dude in Cali got popped…so no “Dude, she started it.”
more mail,” Cambridge said,” I’ll have to
find another source. Idiot got pulled over “Well, she’s saying that you just random-
with a pound in his trunk, so he’s done.” ly kissed her and she’s upset about it.”

I said, “That’s horrible.” At the me, it “That’s bullshit.” I was too anxious to ex-
genuinely surprised me that I was able to plain the full context, so I kept repea ng, “It
sit with him a er I kissed his girlfriend not was her.”
too earlier. I guess that I compartmental-
ized the en re situa on over the past few I called Riley.
months. I was knowingly trying to steal her,
so some slight social condi oning, on my She answered, sounding like she didn’t
sleep at all last night.

“I’m at work and can’t talk long.”

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“Riley, are you going to tell him?” I sat crying, with my head on my hands,
un l he showed.
“Yeah,” she said, “I can’t look at him
without feeling bad. He needs to know.” I got out and said, “I have to talk with
you about something.”
“We agreed to keep it a secret. Whoever
doesn’t tell him looks like an asshole.” “Let’s wait un l we’re inside,” he said,
and with that, I knew that he knew.
“He’s my boyfriend,” she said.
Si ng at a booth, he said, “I know it’s
Apprehensively, I paced around my bed- unlike you to behave like this. I know you’re
room, rubbing my messy hair, and asked, a good guy, so that’s why I’m not going to
“Are you going to break up with him?” beat you ass. It’s so out of character of you,
that I’m chalking it up to being wasted, but
She laughed like I never heard her do Riley is pissed. I’m pissed.”
before, and said, “No! Of course not.”
“But...” I said.
“…but…what about us?”
“Just don’t do it again and it’s se led.”
“Are you serious? You kissed me, dude.
Oh, did you seriously think there was some- I weighed the choices. I could tell him
thing between us? I have a boyfriend, Jack… my side of the story or let it be.
who is your friend, supposedly.”
“Okay.”
“Riley…”
I accepted to the role of a drunk asshole
“God, this always happens,” she said. to squash the drama. I wasn’t about to pres-
“Did you actually think that I was going to ent my case to him which would make her
break up with Came for you?” yell at me more. She was be er at it and
I was brokenhearted. Imagine me pleading
“I don’t know.” with her, repea ng, “…but you asked me if
I ever thought about kissing you?” and her
“…you got to deal with the consequenc- laughing it off or saying that she never said
es of your ac ons.” that.

I said that I was sorry and hung up, feel- “Plus,” he added, “This isn’t the first me.
ing beyond defeated and u erly confused. Two other of my friends tried to kiss her.”
Did I make it all up? What else would “Have
you ever thought about kissing me?” imply? I bought Cambridge’s breakfast burrito,
and another quarter from him, and le . I
I texted Cambridge to meet up with me con nued to cry at the traffic lights, in my
for breakfast, on me, and waited for him in keyed-up car, holding my chest in emo on-
the parking lot of the taco place on 4th and al agony. Everything that I thought about
Cedar. I sat there, repea ng what Riley said my rela onship with Riley was wrong and
to me over in my mind. Of course I thought I would look like a jerk to everyone at that
that something was going on between house.
us. My heart broke seeing this side of her,
hearing her abundantly capable of being so I con nued to hang out there, despite
distant and cold. My chest hurt so deeply what happened. It was the social scene and,
that tears welled up in my eyes un l I let despite what happened, I wanted to leave
out a pained wail.

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

the group on good terms, so I showed up, sponsibility for the kiss and, even though
bought pot, got drunk, and acted as normal I was quite drunk, I remember what hap-
as possible, but was always on my mind. I pened.
slowly started to go over less and less. No
one ever men oned it, but I got the feeling I remember what really happened.
that people knew. Riley and I never talked
about what happened. I took the full re- A few months later, I heard that Riley
le Cambridge for Rabbit.

About the Author:

Mark Massaro received his Master’s Degree in English Literature from Florida Gulf Coast
University with a focus on 20th Century American Literature and also profound respect for
18th Century Bri sh Literature. He is an English Instructor at two universi es. When not
reading or wri ng, he can be found at concerts or in his black Chucks at a bonfire in his
home state of Massachuse s with his friends. His works have been published in Literary
Juice Magazine, The Green Briar Review, The Pegasus Review, Jane Austen Magazine, and
The Mangrove Review. His happiness is being next to his wife, with their son in his arms, and
their golden retriever curled up nearby.

56

FIRE OF THE GODS

by Nofel Nawras

‘Your darn right I’m het up. I want to know with all the new idea colonists, the new
who that varmint is and what he’s a doin’ dream-weavers and high-flying pill-pop-
on my land.’ pers that broke the old mould of corrup on
and status cue.
Maisy Lou was low down trailer trash
from the Ozarks someplace and they say They say, an’ Maisy likes to tell it when
she was as old as anybody on the planet she’s ogling a fire full of embers that’s been
that aint just about dead an’ near to one running for a few days and hours and she
hundred years old or more. Most days she’d on the hooch and weed and anything that a
talk like a deluge in the wet season coming person might abuse themselves with... one
down from Eagle Nest Lake to drown the
sad and sorrowful town of Angel Fire, New me she told how a Mr. Zimmerman hisself
Mexico. Other mes she’d look at a body came poopin round just to see how the lay
like it was rock that had no sense of the of the land was and made honey love with
meaning of stuff. What she came here for is Maisy when she looked like something fine,
anybody’s business, but the story goes she which must have been some miraculous
kilt her mama who was high as a kite on transforma on, or they was just plumb
hooch and came at her with a bouey. drunk and horney, which I can readily as-
cribe to and understand, seeing as that’s
‘Maisy Lou... why don’t you sit a while the only me I ever found anyone to enjoy
and I’ll get you some coffee?’ conjuga on with and disgusted myself for
the next week, month or year. I can’t rightly
I try when I can to come and see how say a spit about the gospel of anything that
she’s doing, or s ll alive, or dead some- leaves those old rubber tyres that pretend
place on her rambling shack, mobile home, to be Maisy Lou’s lips, they sort of hang
come barn, come underground shelter. She over like a couple of gigan c slugs about
had that dug up way back in the swaying to roll off a mountain that’s collapsing and
six es when the mes they were a chang- falling to kingdom come.
ing, but they never did. One me, they say
and I don’ rightly know seeing as I’m no old- I’m what you might call an in-valid, that’s
er than the new millennial ‘pocalypse and to say I don’t account to much owing to my
see myself as an old mer come again in scrawny size and stature. But I like to think
this stringy-assed body that’d blow clean I’m as wise as an owl and faster than a streak
away if you up and farted in my direc on, o’ lightning when it comes to figuring and
one me they say the place was a buzzin’ calcula ng. The thing of it is when you aint

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

got a bean you have to dig and scrape and screen that was either animal, human, or a
learn how to get by and I mostly jus’ offer vehicular assigna on of some kind. It was
myself to folk that are needy of some assis- comin’ up fast and it started to take shape.
tance and take what I can when they aint Seemed like it was a spaceship of some
looking. I figure they’re so plumb easy and kind. A spaceship like they have on that
old and full of the sap of kindness that they there Star Trek or Star Wars or some such.
won’t never mind losing the odd jingle or Only, it weren’t no giant-sized spaceship. It
jangle and I never take more than I can get was about the size of a plain old truck you
away with that the cri ers aint goin’ a miss. might see down Sausalito way, parked on a
Most of the folk I alleviate from don’t need Saturday night outside the diner and wait-
what I alleviate, and I figure it’s a fair and ing to get spa ered with the owner’s blood
honest trade off. I get what I need, and I give a er a good few beers and howdyodos.
them my company and help if I can. I can fix
most anything and have in my few years of ‘Cleetus!’
being in this hell hole of a planet to be born
into. You’d be surprised how easy it is to get She sort of spat my name in a garbled,
by in this desert-land filled with trailer trash excited way that was muffled and swal-
that are by products of the easy days of yore lowed with spi le and drool. Maisy Lou
when they was what they called ‘hippies’ had a way of working herself up to move
and free-lovers. Now they’s as old as a dead out of her throne which usually happened
skunk that’s about to pop with the heat and at strategic mes during the long, hot day
flies and they declare to love my me and and evening and it kind of made you laugh
assistance. You could say I’m a guardin’ angel and made you cry. She’d start slow and
and that’s sort of how I square the self-help work up to a rocking back and forth ll she
part of the deal on my side of the equator. got the right momentus behind her fragile,
yet massive frame and by that me she was
Maisy Lou set up in her rocker and usually as red as beet and swea ng pork.
squinted at the horizon. These lands here- Well it didn’t happen. She was out of that
abouts are flat a place as you’ll ever find old mechanical rust bucket quicker than a
and empty. You can walk for days and weeks dose of di-o-reeya. She never moved so fast
and maybe months and never know where in all the me I knowed her and she stood
you was and how you got there. She was there once she was up and froze. Now I
ge ng frisky, I could tell and her eyebrows mean froze. I don’t mean she was quiet of
start to twitch and she screw those lips like her own wishing, no sir, she was as froze as
they was a couple o’ hot dogs without the a lamb in the snow that was le on account
rolls and the blood was firing up her cylin- of his mama had too many to ween. I went
ders and pre y soon smoke might come close in a sideways sort of creep and sure
out of her ears, only you couldn’t see if she enough she was gone. I don’t mean she
had any on account of the ma ed hair that was gone to Jesus, not yet anyhow, she was
she scraped around her skull. She did not in suspended chryogena on. I seen a few
look good. Maisy Lou never looked good, movies in my me and I saw the signs. Well
but she looked worse now than ever. I jus’ knew it was the aliens, had to be. Of-
ten mes in the movies they make out like
In the distance where she was gazing we don’t know a goose from a gator the
was a whirligig of some kind. A smoke- way they play things out making folk to be

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retard slow and not able to join the polka fuming every me I mess with her and I’d
dots to make a color-in picture. I use to love laugh ll I cried. We both end up laughing
those joinings and spent days jus’ making and crying, them two seem to go together
up my own and wondering if a body’d ever and she’d kick me in the ribs and call me
know what I had in mind. There were some a skunk. We was all we had and then they
that even I didn’t figure when the me took her away when she got sick with the
came to bring it all together, well... that fever and I never saw her again. There she
was a fun me when I was just a sprig in was and she weren’t sick and a smile like
the grass. she knew something wild and wonderful
and I closed my mouth and tried to get a
The thing hovered and hummed like handle on things.
they all do, and I stood there and chewed
on a piece of grass. I always chew when I’m ‘Shabby... is that you?’
making like I don’t give a snoot. I consid-
ered my me was up and maybe they’d fry ‘It ain’t Thomas Jefferson.’
my sorry ass and that’d be that and all in all
I truly wasn’t upset or afeared. I seen many She was so bright, way ahead of all
strange and wonderful things that had no the kids whenever she went to any school
explana on in my me and been touched which wasn’t much to speak of. Where she
by the spirit that spoke to me of all the won- got her learning from, I’ll never know, ‘cept-
der and the glory. I never told a soul about ing I figured we was both smi en with the
my inner diamond place and all the imagin- light of knowing and it was our downfall
ings that came when I was two pokes closer and our treasure. She was nine when she
to death than a rat in a dry gulch about to vanished from my sorrowful existence. That
croak. I’ve seen what happens to folk that was four years or more ago and she looked
speak their knowing and it aint pre y. Look no different, maybe a mite less skinny and
what they did to Jesus for Christ’s sake and the duds she was wearing weren’t from no
they say they love the man. Well, I learned Mall I ever knowed.
to keep it shut and just nod when folk ask
me things and say ordinary stuff and shoot ‘You come back for me?’ I asked trying to
the breeze as simple as a body can. figure whether she was real or just a vision
in my empty head. Maybe old Maisy Lou
‘Well... ’ I said casual like I was just chew- slipped me some brain adjuster while I was
ing on tobacco. ‘You aiming to make your fixing her picket fence.
play or what?’
‘Cleetus... it’s ‘coz your head’s empty
Another hum and a few dings and dongs that I can co-mune-i-cate with you. As to
and that future stuff with lights and a door the vision side of things that’s really close
that aint a door opens up and steps that an’ I’ll try an’ explain to your dumb ass
sort of make themselves pop out of thin air what it all means and how it keeps rolling
and dang it all there was even some smoke down the road.’
and down she walks like she was ready for
a trip to the fair. It was my li le sister, Abe- She laughed a er that the way we used
line Sherry. I used to get her riled by twist- to always laugh and holler and then we’d
ing it round and calling her Shabeline or spit and shake just to make sure it was
just plain Shabby. She near to explode with a done deal. Well, I reckon I must have
looked a mite flabbergasted or something

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else that’s full of shock and amazement waited. I knew I must be dreaming or plain
cos she waited a spell and then hovered stoked or maybe died of something and
down those pearly steps without a sound well... what can you do but go with the blow.
and came up and kissed me so and gentle
and I sort of let go of all the fearing and the ‘I’m about to perform an opera on on
holding on that clams a body up ght. you Cleet and it won’t hurt a bit.’

‘Is it you, Abeline?’ She put her right hand ever so gentle on
my on my head and I felt a warmth and a
‘Hm, hmm.’
ngling that was sweet and thought I was
‘What you come for and where you been? about to dri off into the wide blue but no,
How am I supposed to know it’s you and not ma er of fact the opposite happened.
some devil alien come to steal my soul?’
I sat up and knew I was different.
She set down by the embers of last
night’s fire and blew on those charcoaled The effect of her touch was instanta-
scraps. They started to glow from the inside neous transmission of knowledge.
and blazed like they’d been dosed in kero-
sene but more than that, they had a colour I knew and knew that I knew.
I never seen in a fire, it was sort of pearly
and pink with a touch of lilac. Then she I saw that the veils had dropped, and
pressed some bu on on her wrist watch I was no longer the personality labelled
gizmo and a light beamed from the cra ‘Cleetus’.
and before my eyes lay a vast and glorious
picnic table full of the southern fried chick- There was no passage of me in this per-
en, cream potatoes, cherry pie and a hun- cep on and no working things out.
dred other dain es and donuts you’d never
see ‘cep ng in rich folks par es and such. To work things out would take me and
the knowledge of everything that is mean-
A er we ate and had our fill and laughed ingful is not addi ve.
over the old days and how we was going
to be famous and live in Hollywood in Cali- There is no one to accrue this knowl-
for-ni-ay and travel the world in planes and edge, nor anyone to receive it.
yachts and fixing the whole world we set
awhile in silence an s llness and the eve- That would mean separa on, otherness
ning was flowering it’s colours over the des- and here there is nothing but I.
ert with the sound of the cicadas coming
through in waves that kind of set the scene Nothing but wholeness and a sublime
for what was coming next. sense of nothing that is complete.

‘Cleetus... I’m gonna try to explain what The personality was gone and yet I was
I’m here for and it might scare the living s ll essen ally the being who inhabited the
skin off a your back but I know that you can body of Cleetus.
take it and you know it too.’
I saw that I was a journey of ignorance
That sort of set the train on its tracks so that stretched back into infinity and each
to say and I lay back and closed my eyes and speck of dust gathered along the millennia
was as essen al to my being here now as
the events and lives that I had gone through.

With this transmission there was no sur-
prise.

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Certainly there is an unnameable core She was gone. She came to give me a
of wonder and gra tude that blazed and sense of the sublime, that which cannot be
had no sense of normal energy usage. remembered. I knew that something had
happened to my psyche but could not be
It is my sun. certain how it had affected me.

My flame. ‘Cleetus! Get off your bony ass and get
me a coffee. You ever finish that fence’ll be a
I am this. cold day in hell, boy. Why’d you let me sleep
through the morning you squinty no good
In this flame I am one with the being creep around. Come by when you’re need-
Abeline, my blessed sister, and yet, I knew ing something and don’t think I don’t know
she was beyond being male or female. where my li le wireless is, oh yes sir, I do.’

Here there was only the instant and the ‘Coffee coming black, hot and sweet,
instantaneous. Maisy Lou. Reckon we might need some
donuts and a beer if that’s okay with you?’
Communica on was absent since it was
whole. ‘Help yourself, why don’t you. You don’t
need to ask. Jus’ mind what you help your-
There is nothing to say as all is said and self to is all I’m saying.’
done.
The ra onal ideas of science regarding
I am in eternity and complete. me travel are moribund. The speed of
light will not be accomplished by any me-
I and Abeline are one yet there is a fac- chanical device. Science already knows
et of the diamond that is Abeline, another this and is stumped. For any ma er to ex-
known as Cleetus. ceed the speed of light it must undergo a
transforma on that is not scien fic but
The appearance of things remained, yet conscious. Consciousness is the next epi-
there was a seeing through and knowledge sode in the journey of Scien fic Man. This
of the vibra onal frequencies of ma er reality will implode his concepts regarding
which are harmonious according to the everything. He will know the awful truth of
percep on of the facet that perceives them. nothing. In this truth is the secret of life it-
self that he has ever sought in the wrong
There is only the One and the facets are place. The universe is within the eye of the
merely facets of the One. beholder. This he knows already and yet
cannot ra onalise. There is no out there.
No separa on. It’s all within. There is no escape from plan-
et Earth to another planet to destroy with
Wholeness that has the appearance of selfishness, greed and violence. There is no
separa on in ma er. other. Only I, the mad scien st, who must
look within to realise there is only one life,
In the place of wholeness all disappears one source and it is within me. Everything
and there is nothing. ‘out there’ is merely a projec on of my in-
ner reality. As I speed up my consciousness,
I knew all the above and infinitely more
without words, without thought.

Consciousness is faster than the speed
of light.

‘Abeline...?’

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I surpass ordinary me and space and enter faster than light crea on that has nothing
the one reality. Here, everything is vacant to do but destroy efficiently. It destroys
and simple. There is nothing to work out ma er that is abstract and dead in a dead
and everything to wonder at in awesome and abstract universe. A spawn of my sci-
majesty. Of course, there is AI. A dead and en fic brain.

About the Author:

Nofel Nawras is a student at Falmouth University, England,
studying Crea ve Wri ng. He was born in Iraq, trained as an
actor and has worked as a care-worker for most of his adult life.

62

MELANCHOLY

by Dell R. Lipscomb

“I got an applica on from somebody at Al- ing the seventy pounds he’d lost. Kenneth
ton Diabe c Supplies,” Paige stated. “Lane- had been more jovial since dropping the
sha Timmons. She listed you as a reference.” weight. It was the new Kenneth who low-
ered his six-foot five frame down on one
It took a few moments for Louisa Barrow knee and asked her, Louisa Jane Reynolds,
to remember her erstwhile coworker and to marry him. A few rain clouds hovered in
give her current supervisor a response. “I the sky as she loaded two bags of groceries
sat two cubicles away from Lanesha,” Louisa into her car’s trunk. Snow clouds weren’t
replied. “She wasn’t anything spectacular.” expected to appear for another three
months, thank goodness. The TV weather
“You don’t think I should hire her?” people said the area was going to have a
typical winter…cold with some snow, but
“You can get someone be er.” not as much as the folks up north usually
get. A familiar sign came into view shortly
Paige’s usual demeanor, the mien of a a er making a le turn out of Renny’s park-
kindly grandmother, returned as she pa ed ing lot. Large red Brush Script le ers on a
Louisa on the shoulder. “Thank you for your green background spelled the words CHEL-
insight.” SEA’S BAR AND GRILL. The Laboring Ladies
Club members might be there—they o en
Louisa turned to her computer screen were on Mondays. Louisa’s large brown
and brushed a stray blonde hair away from eyes glanced at the parking lot, searching
her forehead, relieved that she had been for Vone e’s white Mazda.
able to say what she said with a straight
face. As far as Louisa knew, Lanesha was The corners of Louisa’s mouth drooped
good at her job. But Louisa didn’t want when she spo ed Vone e’s car. The sudden
Lanesha or any other Laboring Ladies Club melancholy overwhelming Louisa was a
member showing up at the Merit Health sadness of stress, frustra on and loneliness.
Offices. Workdays in the claims processing Tears blurred her view of the Mazda. Louisa
department were fine without them. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand
was around her kind of people, and that and kept driving. The melancholy feeling
suited her. didn’t abate when she got home. Kenneth’s
pickup was parked in the driveway of their
The drive home included a detour to split-level corner house. Louisa entered the
Renny’s Supermarket. Her kitchen was
running low on the types of healthy foods
that were keeping Kenneth from regain-

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kitchen through the side door. Kenneth was up some supper if you feel up to it. I know
leaning against the kitchen counter, chug- I’m not supposed to eat a whole lot, but
ging water from a plas c bo le. could you give me a li le more than you
put on the table yesterday?” He pa ed
“Beat you home,” Kenneth said to Louisa. his chest. “This big heart needs a lot of
nourishment.”
“Had to pick up a few things at the store,”
Louisa listlessly replied. Louisa normally laughed when Kenneth
said something like that. This me she
“I see the bags. When I worked second couldn’t muster a smile.
shi at the furniture factory you always
beat me home.” The odor of grime and “You’ve been ac ng sad and gloomy all
sweat resul ng from a day of repairing day,” Paige said to Louisa, concern showing
HVAC systems briefly filled Louisa’s nostrils in Paige’s gray-blue eyes. “What’s the mat-
as Kenneth kissed her cheek. ter, hon?”

“Remember the ladies at Alton I used to “I think I’m star ng to miss my peeps at
get together with a er work? We met at Alton,” Louisa glumly replied.
Chelsea’s three or four mes a week. We
called ourselves The Laboring Ladies Club. Be y sprung from her chair opposite
You met them at the a er-hours holiday Louisa’s cubicle. “Not even my homemade
party last year.” oatmeal raisin cookies could cheer her up!”
Be y wailed.
“Yeah. Black ladies and a Mexican.” Ken-
neth’s reply was o anded, like the me he Paige placed a comfor ng hand on Lou-
referred to one of his vo-tech instructors as isa’s shoulder. “You know we’re like family
a “fudge brown black guy.” here. My office door is always open if you
need me.”
“Imelda is Puerto Rican.”
Louisa, s ll unable to smile, nodded.
“Whatever. Same difference. What about
them?” “The cookies were yummy,” Paige said
to Be y as she walked away from Louisa’s
“I passed Chelsea’s a er I le the store. cubicle.
Vone e’s car was there.”
Louisa focused on her remaining work-
“So?” Kenneth vigorously chewed a piece load and completed it despite the mel-
of gum like a rock in need of pulverizing. ancholy that s ll clung to her a er nearly
twenty-four hours. As she exited the build-
“I think I miss them more than I figured ing she decided to make another side trip
I would.” before going home.

“Don’t know why. You work with nice Vone e’s car was parked near the front
folks at Merit. You don’t need to have any- entrance to Chelsea’s. It was recognizable
thing to do with those women at Alton.” because of the personalized license plate:
VONONE. Louisa parked next to Vone e’s
“Well yeah, true.” car and entered the brick building. Vone e
was seated at a table with Jackie and
Kenneth started backing towards the Imelda. Louisa approached the trio. “Hey.”
door leading from the kitchen to the den.
“I’ll get out of your way so you can whip

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Shrieks of joyous recogni on were the cause a customer yelled at me and he said
replies Louisa received. Vone e’s ample I didn’t handle the customer properly. You
arms encircled and squeezed Louisa. “How told me, ‘Roger needs to get on the phone
have you been, girl?” with nasty people so he can talk to a kin-
dred spirit.’” Louisa smiled as the others
“I’m fine now.” It was as if Vone e had laughed. Vone e’s words had li ed her
squeezed the melancholy out of her. She spirits that day, enabled her to endure the
sat in the chair between Vone e and Jackie. remainder of her shi .

“The Laboring Ladies are reunited!” Imelda pointed downward. “Most of
Imelda proclaimed. Roger’s kindred spirits are way below the
surface of the earth, if you know what I
“Louisa will always be one of us,” Vone e mean,” she stated with a look of contempt
stated. “She’s s ll a lady that labors, but at on her lovely, angular face.
a different place.”
Vone e tapped Louisa on the arm.
“And s ll needs to have a drink and blow “Lanesha applied for an opening in Merit’s
off steam at the end of the day,” Jackie add- claims department. She put you down as a
ed with a wink. reference on the applica on. Has anybody
said anything to you about that?”
“I wanted to see my peeps again,” Louisa
said. “I miss you all.” “Um…no,” Louisa replied. “Speaking of
which, why isn’t she here?”
“You know we miss you,” Vone e stated.
“How are things at Merit?” “Lanesha wanted to go straight home.
She had a rough day.”
“Great. It doesn’t pay much more than
Alton but it’s a lot less stressful.” Louisa seized the opportunity to end a
conversa on that was becoming awkward.
“I know that’s right. You’re not on the “And I need to get home and fix supper and
phone with upset customers. And you put out the trash.”
don’t have to deal with Roger Harrelson.”
“Garbage collec on is on Wednesdays in
“He’s s ll with Alton?” your neighborhood? Where do you live?”
Vone e inquired.
“Unfortunately for us all, yes,” Jackie said
with a roll of her chestnut brown eyes. “The new development off Ennis Road.
Kenneth and I bought a house there. We
“That man…omigosh…he used to make can afford it because Kenneth’s new job
me cry,” Louisa said. pays twice as much as he was making at the
furniture factory.”
“He has that effect on everybody,” Imelda
remarked. “How did he ever become a su- “How is that rascal?”
pervisor?”
“He’s fine. Likes his job and loves our
“I would say he kissed a manager’s ass new home.”
but who’d want Roger’s mouth on his or her
ass?” Vone e smacked her lips in distaste. “I heard the developer lowballed Melba
Johnstone when he bought her lot,” Jackie
They all laughed. “I love what you said said.
about him in the cafeteria,” Louisa told
Vone e. “I was crying a lake of tears be-

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“He sure did,” Vone e stated. “Mrs. front lawn of the house on Garth and Marian.
Johnstone wasn’t in the right frame of A place where three children died was now
mind to nego ate a er the fire destroyed someone’s home. She wondered if the peo-
the daycare center. The lawsuits and inves- ple who lived there were enjoying a peaceful
evening. She certainly wasn’t.
ga ons and having three children die in
the fire wore her down. She just wanted to #
get rid of the lot and put what happened
behind her.” “You seem to be in a slightly be er mood
today,” Paige remarked.
“I remember that,” Imelda said. “Faulty
wiring caused the fire. The daycare center “I am,” Louisa replied, s ll feeling good
was on the corner of Garth and Marian, about yesterday evening despite Kenneth’s
right?” a tude.

“That’s where it was,” Jackie affirmed. “Good. We won’t have to give you a dou-
ble dose of Be y’s cookies a er all.”
“There’s a house there now,” Louisa add-
ed. “I can see it from my kitchen window. “But you can have as many as you want,”
And like I said, I need to get to that kitchen Be y added.
and fix supper.” She rose, gave her ex-co-
workers a hug, and le Chelsea’s with a “Just Louisa, or everybody?” Kirk, the
smile on her face. only man in the claims department, asked
from the cubicle behind Be y’s.
Kenneth was in the den when Louisa
came home. He was on the couch, chan- “Everybody, swee e,” Be y said.
nel surfing with the TV remote. “Beat you
home again. I’m on a two-day winning “Hey, Paige, I was wrong about Lanesha
streak.” Timmons,” Louisa said. “I had her confused
with somebody else. She’s a good worker.”
“Two days in a row is not a winning
streak.” Louisa kissed Kenneth’s cheek. “I “I’ve already hired someone else,” Paige
was at Chelsea’s. It was like old mes.” replied. “But I’ll keep her in mind the next

“Why were you there?” me there’s an opening.”

“Why not?” “Okay.” Louisa tried to console herself
as she finished the remainder of her day’s
“You don’t work with them anymore.” work. Reminding herself that a claims de-
Kenneth sounded like his uncle did when- partment job with Merit wouldn’t pay
ever he men oned “those people.” much more than what Alton pays didn’t
help. She would get Lanesha’s contact in-
“Well, one of them asked about you. forma on from one of The Laboring Ladies
Vone e wanted to know how you’re doing.” so she could give her a heads up as soon as
Louisa le the den and set about the task put- another posi on became available—that’s
what she’d do. It would be her reason for
ng garbage on the curb. She rolled the plas c going back to Chelsea’s.
garbage container from the rear of the house
to the curb and posi oned it next to the ju- The Laboring Ladies were at the same
niper bush flanking the front walk. A juniper table as the day before. Lanesha was with
spor ng dark green needles also adorned the them. Vone e scooted a chair from an

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empty table and made room for Louisa. Kenneth was standing midway between
“Couldn’t stay away, could you?” the entrance and the table.

“Well, I can’t be a permanent member Vone e mo oned for Kenneth to come
of The Laboring Ladies Club if I don’t show to the table. “C’mon and join The Laboring
up for mee ngs, right?” Louisa turned to Ladies. Are you gonna offer to drink all the
Lanesha. “Glad you’re here. My supervi- tap beer like you volunteered to do at the
sor at Merit hired somebody else but she’s party?”
going to keep you in mind. Give me your
contact informa on and I’ll let you know “That was nice of you, Kenneth,” Jackie
when something else opens up so you can said. “Offering to empty the beer taps so
reapply.” the restaurant could do maintenance on
them.”
“Okay,” The slender, dark-skinned young
woman recited her phone number and Every Laboring Lady roared with laugh-
e-mail address, her voice faltering with dis- ter except Louisa. Kenneth’s expression
appointment as Louisa entered the infor- was stern.
ma on into her smartphone.
Louisa said nothing as she rose from the
“Wish we could all go to Merit right now,” table and followed Kenneth to the parking
Vone e stated. lot. They didn’t speak as they went to their
separate vehicles. Kenneth exited the park-
“Lord, yes,” Jackie added. ing lot first. He was standing at the head of
the driveway when Louisa got home. She
“Things got rough at Alton today?” Lou- wondered if Kenneth was going to say or
isa inquired. do anything before she made it to the side
door. She got out of the car and stood more
“It was a typical day at Alton,” Jackie re- than an arm’s length away from her hus-
plied. “You know how it is.” band. “Why don’t you go inside? Are you
making sure I won’t turn around and head
“Oh yeah. At least it’s Hump Day.” back to Chelsea’s?”

“Ain’t that the truth.” “Seems like I need to,” Kenneth replied.

All the ladies nodded in agreement. The shrill, frene c chirping of a finch
commenced in the ensuing silence. Two
“Remember the me Roger heard some- other finches were chirping by the me
body say it was Hump Day and he thought Louisa stepped inside the house. She
that person was talking about humping?” wasn’t going to fix supper—Kenneth could
Imelda asked. throw something together for himself if he
liked. Her evening was going to end early.
“He thought she was talking about The trio of birds could be heard as Louisa
humping her man a er work!” Vone e got in bed.
howled. “He took her to Human Resources.
When they le HR his face was red and she #
was giggling.”
“Honey, what’s going on with you? Is it Ken-
“I remember that,” Louisa said as the neth? Something else?” Paige asked.
others laughed. “My goodness…”

They all laughed un l Jackie pointed and
exclaimed, “Big man!”

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“It’s him and other things,” Louisa replied. get what you learned in all those morning
voca onal classes you took?”
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“If I’d known I would’ve figured it out!”
“It’s him and other things,” Louisa re- Kenneth was on his feet now, face and neck
peated, summoning the willpower to speak turning scarlet. Louisa fled to the bedroom,
above a dejected whisper. locked the door and waited for pounding
and yelling that never began.
“All of our health plans include coverage
for counseling.” #

Louisa gave Paige a nod and exited the “Have a good evening. Three more days ‘ l
building without her usual “have a good the weekend,” Paige said, her lil ng voice
evening.” Melancholy had once again firmly trying to coax a happy response out of Lou-
se led into Louisa’s mind. The acuteness of isa. She breezed past Louisa and into the
the melancholy heightened whenever she parking lot.
thought of The Laboring Ladies. During the
drive home she tried to focus on ways to Louisa nodded. Three days away from
end the silence between her and Kenneth the weekend. Two weeks and five days
that began the previous evening. Kenneth’s since Kenneth got fired. She hadn’t seen
pickup came into view as she neared their Vone e’s car in Chelsea’s parking lot since
house. “You just had to come home early to the day before then. I’ll look for it one more
see if I was here,” Louisa mu ered.
me, Louisa told herself as she headed for
Kenneth was si ng on the couch in the her car.
den. The TV set was off. He stared at the
wall behind the TV, a bewildered expres- Vone e’s white Mazda wasn’t near
sion on his face. Chelsea’s front entrance. Louisa searched
the en re length of the parking lot before
“You’re home early,” Louisa observed. pulling into a space. She hesitated for a
“As you can see, I came straight home from moment, then selected Lanesha’s number
work.” from her phone’s contacts list.

“I’ve been here awhile. I got fired.” “Hey, Louisa,” Lanesha said a er three
rings. Dance music and cha er could be
“Fired for what?” heard on Lanesha’s end.

“We were doing repairs on a ven la- “Hey. Where have you all been? I haven’t
on system in one of the downtown office seen you at Chelsea’s recently. I’m there
buildings. “When we got there I couldn’t now.”
remember how to do it.”
“Louisa’s on the phone?” Vone e’s voice
“Wait a minute, you’re saying—“ inquired.

“I couldn’t think of what came first or Jackie spoke. “Tell her to tell her hus-
anything. Charlie, the supervisor on the job, band to—“
got on my case because I was just standing
there, doing nothing. I shoved him.” “Hold on,” Vone e interrupted.

Louisa stared at her husband, mouth “We’re at a different bar,” Lanesha told
agape, for a moment. “How could you for- Louisa. “Imelda heard about it on the radio

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a er we le Chelsea’s the last me you saw “I said I’m not going back there,” Ken-
us. We decided to give the place a try and neth growled.
liked it. The name of it is—“
“You don’t have many choices at this
The music and cha er ended with a point.” Louisa went to the kitchen to make
sound like a feeble electronic burp. The herself a salad. The melancholy was once
line had disconnected. Lanesha’s name was again unshakeable, an amalgam of demor-
no longer in the phone’s contacts list. Lou- alizing memories from her me at Alton.
isa scrolled through the list nearly a dozen The balm of camaraderie and suppor ve-
ness from The Laboring Ladies had lost its
mes. It should have s ll been under L for efficacy. Recollec ons of them no longer
Lanesha but it wasn’t. Louisa allowed her buoyed her spirits. Unrelieved stress and in-
phone to slip out of her hand and onto the consolable despondency persisted. Louisa
front passenger seat. gathered the salad ingredients from the re-
frigerator and placed them on the counter.
The TV in the den was on when Loui-
sa entered her house. Kenneth, barefoot The breeze started modestly, like the in-
and wearing jeans with an undershirt, was tona on of a shy teenage girl trying to get
munching on a slice of pizza. The par ally someone’s a en on. Louisa began rinsing
eaten pizza on the table contained chunks a celery stalk under the faucet. The breeze
of pepperoni, sausage and ground beef. No howled, followed by a thud and ra le. The
vegetable toppings. garbage container at the curb across the
street was on its side, trash spilling out of
“Doesn’t look like you went job hun ng its plas c maw. Every bush and tree in sight
today,” Louisa observed. remained s ll except the juniper bordering
the front walk across the street. The juni-
“I looked at a couple of lis ngs. Can’t re- per’s branches swayed in the breeze like a
member a lot of what I knew, so there’s no cluster of fingers waving at Louisa as she
point in checking them out.” forlornly stared from her kitchen window.

“The furniture factory might take you
back. They’re usually looking for help.”

About the Author:

Dell R. Lipscomb is a former radio announcer who listens
to any type of music that sounds good and will lend an
ear to anyone who has something interes ng to say. Dell
currently resides in the Blue Ridge region of Virginia.

69

LUZCINDA

by Adrianna Zapata

Si ng at the bench under her window sill, Mexico, Maria had always tried to fill in for
Luz Rivera could make out the en rety of both their roles.
her street. The road separa ng the two
lanes of houses is narrow, making it so no- Luz smiles back and waves, pu ng up
body was able to park on either side. Luz her hand to signal that she was on her way.
could see down into her neighbor, Doña Slipping on a pair of moccasins, she makes
Maria’s yard. Her roses are wil ng over, and her way out of her house on to the steps of
s ll she sees the li le lady hobble out there Maria’s front porch.
at 8 am every morning to tend to them.
She had woken up to Maria’s singing every “Is this what it has come to, Luzcinda?
morning while she’s was in her garden, ever Looking for you in the screens of windows
since the old woman read somewhere that to get you to come talk to me?” Maria says,
singing helps them grow. her face feigning a look of hurt as she play-
fully guilted Luz.
Even now the old woman just sat there
on the porch of her salmon colored house, “Doña Maria! I see you every day prac -
her bible si ng on her lap. Her rocking cally.” Luz say’s while coming up the stairs
chair that her husband Oscar had built for to plant a kiss on her cheek. Maria laughs,
her a year before he passed s ll sat there in and smacks her arm away.
the same posi on ten years later. Luz could
see the steady movement of the wooden “Not enough if you ask me.” She mo ons
rocker that was famous for pu ng Maria to to the bench across from her for Luz to sit
sleep under it. Some mes people passing in. Taking a seat, she stretches out her legs
by would have to wake her up, reminding le ng out a small yawn.
her to go back inside before it got too dark,
or too cold. “You’re s ll red? Its noon! I swear, your
genera on has no energy for anything, all
As if she felt the eyes of Luz on her, Ma- those GMO things they put in the food
ria looked up into the window catching her thing...” Luz listened to her trail off onto a
eye. Her face crinkles up into a smile, all the tangent on what was wrong with her gener-
li le wrinkles around her eyes and mouth a on. A er a few minutes, they dri ed off
banding together as she beckons towards to a comfortable silence.
Luz to come down. Ever since losing her
own grandparents during an earthquake in “I s ll miss him” Maria says some me
later, her eyes glazed over with that far-
away look Luz recognized from her mom

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when she got the call that her parents had would love him, I just never gave him the
passed. sa sfac on of knowing it was that soon”

“Who?” “Guess they don’t make men like Oscar
anymore”
“Oscar, ten years s ll feel like yesterday. I
sit here some mornings and realize how old “Not frequently, princessa “Maria re-
I am” Maria chuckles before con nuing,” plies, shaking her head, “but to answer your
With no chickens to keep me company.” ques on, once me and Oscar were married
2 years later, we had no means for kids. We
“ I never knew you wanted kids.” Luz says, both worked 60 hour weeks, some mes
li ing up her legs from the floor to meet we only saw each other for 15 minutes on
her chest while she sat on the bench. a lunch break. We didn’t have the me for
kids. At 26 we saved enough for this house,
“Me? No. I never wanted kids, I met Os- and I was so happy, even if our parents saw
car when I was 16. I had just come to Amer- it as selfish to not want a family yet. We
ica from Guatemala and had to leave all my were finally stable that I wanted to enjoy it.
family behind. I lived in a convent, lots of He asked for kids, and I pushed it off, and off
girl immigrants choose to when they came un l finally when we tried it was too late.”
here on their own back then. It was nice, all
the girls would go out dancing at night, one “I’m so sorry Maria, that’s terrible.” Luz
night I met Oscar” At the men on of his grabs Maria’s hand, and rubs it to comfort
name her face lit up. her.

“Was it love at first sight?” Luz asks. “No sense in crying over the mistakes of
the past. Just learn from mine.”
“Maybe for him! I was quite the catch
back then. I wasn’t trus ng of men then. “First I’d need to find a man who’s going
Leaving Guatemala my mother told me to actually s ck around” Luz replies
to be careful of men and their inten ons
in the states. Oscar had come to me that “You and Jorge? No more? What hap-
night on the pa o, and tried to get me to pened?” Maria gasps drama cally, in the
dance to every song. I said no each and ev- way that only La na women can and holds
ery me.” She says her chest.

“Maria! Your terrible!” Luz says smiling “A er he moved for his job, it’s like pull-
at the sassy old woman. ing teeth to even get a call out of him. I feel
like I’m nagging him for a en on” Luz huffs
“How? I didn’t owe him a dance. But af- out in annoyance.
ter that nights failed a empt, he came back
every night for a week un l I showed back “Is he worth all of this anger?” Maria asks.
up again. He walked up to me, and said he’d
been wai ng for his dance.” She sighed, “I “I thought I loved him, but even if I did
had started to say my usual answer but his lack of effort to see me clearly shows he
instead I was interrupted. ‘Is It that you never loved me.” Luz answers a er thinking
can’t dance?’ he asked me innocently, but over Maria’s ques on.
he knew what he was doing. I danced with
him to five songs that night just to prove to “Well, to hell with him! You’re young,
him out of spite. I guess I knew then that I nothing’s keeping you tethered to this man.
Let him see what he lost.” Maria says her

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whole body becoming rigid with the indig- year was all but banished from ever return-
na on that someone would turn down her ing to mass with all the insults and name
Luzcinda. calling she had to endure once the church
figured out the blonde headed girl Ka a
“Great advice Maria” Luz say’s ge ng up was always with, was her girlfriend and not
from her seat, “I’ve got to get going, I have her “amigita”. Luz began to dread going to
some company coming over. Bendicion.” church, and the fake holier than thou per-
sona’s put on by its congregants. But what
“Que dios te bendiga, mi nieta” Maria she began to hate most of all was her silent
says, waving goodbye as Luz leaves her be- acceptance of it by con nuing to go.
hind in a trail of bright yellow rose bushes.
Jorge had met Luz almost two years ago
Back in her room, Luz looks up at cross through a mutual friend, Jina. Luz was sit-
hanging above her bed. Its wooden, with
each ny feature of Jesus carved in from ng on the rug of her friend’s dorm room
the slope of his nose, down to the nails in working on her essay for class when there
his feet. She’s had it above her bed ever was a knock on the door. Her boyfriend was
since she was five, and she could remem- at the door, Luz had met him a few mes
ber how much it always frightened her. The before and he was always nice enough. But
wood had made the cross appear dark, and to his le was a guy she hadn’t met before,
foreboding, she didn’t understand at the she remembers thinking that his hair was
age of five why people took comfort in the the same color as the coffee grounds she
image of this poor man nailed to a cross, cleaned out of her machine that morning,
his features distorted in pain. but his skin tone looked more like milk than
the toffee of hers. She smiled at him and
Growing up in that Catholic church Luz waved awkwardly as Jina gave her boy-
had known nothing but rules. She was bap- friend a long kiss.

zed at six months, had her first commu- “God. Sorry, Luz this is Jorge. I forgot to
nion at seven years old, and was confirmed men on that they were passing by, you
at 14. By 15 she had become a Sunday don’t mind right?” Jina asked a er pulling
school teacher, and she taught to six- and away from Antonio. It’s a li le too late now
seven-year old’s of her congrega on words either way, Jina Izza thought to herself.
that she never had once ques oned.
“Nope! Cool with me, I should probably-“
It wasn’t un l she had gone off to col- Izza began when Jina laughed and inter-
lege and met Jorge that Luz began to real- rupted.
ize how sheltered she really was. Even her
schedule of school, home, and mass every “Probably be ge ng home?” turning to
other night was decided by someone else. the boys Jina goes on to say, “Her parents
It didn’t bother her un l she began to ques- s ll have her on curfew.”

on the severity she would see enforced Usually Luz would shrug off her friends
upon other people in her congrega on. condescending tone and head home, but
She never dated in high school because a a er her ques on Jorge had let out a breath
boyfriend in your teens at her parish would that was somewhere between a sigh and a
cause people to talk, and eventually that laugh. It bugged Luz so much because she
talk would get back to her family. Her friend could tell that he thought she was a child.
Ka a, who had come out as gay earlier that

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So she did something out of the ordinary Jorge and Antonio briefly on her way out.
and stood her ground. S ll angry about Jorge’s assump ons, Luz
powerwalks over to the bus stop, and
“I was going to say I should probably plants herself underneath the plas c enclo-
move over to make some room” Lies, “And sure that landmarks the stop. Tapping her
I don’t have a curfew” Which wasn’t com- foot quickly against the pavement as she
pletely a lie, her parents never said be home waits, she looks up and no ces that Jorge
by 9, but she never was not home by that is also walking towards the same bus stop
she’s at. She tries to feign disinterest and
me just the same. inserts both earbuds into her ears as he
gets closer in an effort to deter any possible
Jina raised an eyebrow, “Oh okay, I must conversa on. This would not work.
have confused you with another Luzcinda”
“I’m sorry if I offended you back there.”
Ignoring the last comment, Izza flips Talk about unexpected.
open her phone and opens and closes apps
in an effort to look busy. She is success- “It’s ok, to each his own. Right?” She
ful for about a minute un l her phone is smiles at him ghtlipped before very obvi-
plucked from her finger ps. ously raising the volume on her phone as
they wait in silence for the bus.
“Romans 8:18. Interes ng.” Jorge says
looking at the wallpaper of her phone. She feels a tap on her shoulder.

“It’s a bible verse.” She says irritated, “Maybe we can talk over some pizza and
holding out her hand for her phone. beer?” He asks.

“I know what it is.” He says rolling his “I don’t drink”
eyes, “I didn’t realize Jina was friends with
people like you” “Well, then just pizza?” He smiles at her
like she was in on some private joke, and
“What’s wrong with reading the bible?” despite herself she laughs.
Luz asks in a dry tone, already an cipa ng
his answer. “You’re paying”

“Nothing’s wrong with it, to each their That bus ride that night to Lomberto’s
own. It was just unexpected.” Jorge leans Pizza Place was only 15 minutes long. But
against the doorframe and doesn’t offer the conversa on they would have that
any other elabora ons. night over pizza would go on for hours, un-

“And what was that? “ Luz began to ask l Lou the owner had to close and ask them
before Jina cuts in. to leave. They talked about religion, books
and poli cs. They disagreed on most of it,
“Hey, hey. Guys, actually I think Anto- but what Luz could say for a fact was that
nio and I are going to head to Sonic. You this was the night it all changed.
mind rescheduling this get together anoth-
er me?” Jina asks in a pointed tone, she Today, Luz’s eyes go to the window
was probably worried that the impending where she can see Ka a and Reina walking
argument would somehow effect Antonio towards Luz’s house. Their faces are both
and her. serious and she can see even from that
far up on her windows bench, that they
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Luz picks up her bag
and hugs Jina goodbye before waving to

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too are stressed out. Ka a’s face spor ng corner of the room. She walks over to the
the dimple on her lower cheek that comes girl si ng on her bed. Out from her bag
along with her frown when her mind is comes the red logo of CVS, through its
turning. And Reina’s hands fidget with the translucent plas c Luz can make out the
strings hanging off her backpack picking at white and blue box holding the s ck she
the frays making her already beat up bag was about to pee on.
look ancient.
“Do it quick, rip the band aid off.” Ka a
Ge ng up from her seat, Luz walks over says a er a while, when it’s become clear
to the door and as her hand rests on its that her friend must have taken a trip to
doorknob, she hesitates. She realizes that carajo land.
once her two friends walk into her room,
and they hand her that test, everything “Yeah like a band aid.” Luz tries to chuck-
could be changed. She hears the padded le a er it, but even to her ears the sound
footsteps coming up the stairs to her room falls flat. Shoving the test under the sleeve
on the second floor, her mother must have of her test she opens the door, before mak-
opened the door for Ka a and Reina. ing her way to the bathroom in the middle
of the hall. Once she’s inside the bathroom,
Swinging open the door finally, with a her back slides down the side of the door
smile that didn’t quite reach both ends of before her legs make contact with the cold
her eyes, Luz tries to keep her inner chaos
at bay. le of her floor.

“Hey, you guys got here quickly, I already A er a minute she gets up, and goes
set up the flashcards for biology on my into autopilot, s cking the short s ck be-
desk.” Luz says loudly, hoping that it does tween her legs for its allo ed 10 seconds.
the job of concealing their true inten ons She wonders briefly if she can even pee for
from her nosy mother. 10 seconds consecu vely, but she does. As
she sets the s ck on the bathroom sink, her
“Bio? I thought you needed too-” Reina mind travels back to a year ago, when every-
started before she felt the sharp jab of Ka- thing between Jorge and her was s ll good.

a’s ballerina elbow on her side. A year ago, Luz was s ll a virgin. She told
herself she was s ll saving sex for marriage,
“Yes Bio. History is next week.” Ka a fin- a li le present all wrapped up inside of her
ishes, saving the day from their otherwise to give to a future husband. A year ago, Luz
clueless friend. s ll believed in falling in love, with some-
one who valued her family. Someone who
Closing their door on the ears of her would play with her li le brother Miguel,
mother, Luz walks over to her bed before take him out to the park on sunny days. A
si ng down on its edge with her head in man her Mother would call mijo, and brag
her hands. She begins tugging at the roots about to the other Señoras at service.
of her hair when Ka a goes over to her, her
hands rubbing circles in the center of her When Luz first met Jorge, she thought
back like their mothers did for them when she had found someone that hit all the
they were sick . marks. He didn’t go to church, she want-
ed to be around someone whose thoughts
“We got Clearblue, it looked promising.” were different that those that surrounded
Reina jokes, breaking her silence from the

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her. She was thrilled by the fact that this “Oh my god! Amazing! I told you this
intelligent man seemed to have taken an was going to happen. ” Luz said excitedly,
interest in her. At 25, he seemed to know her eyes already seeing the lunch dates
so much more than she, the four years he they would take at the coffee house down
had on her seemed to make a world of dif- the street from the large skyscraper Jorge
ference. He wanted to teach it all to her, he would be working at.
would say , while looking into her eyes in a
way that started a trend of flu ering but- A er taking a sip of the wine he held in
terflies in her belly. His voice woke up parts his hand he replied, “ It’s in San Franciso!
of her that Luz wasn’t aware that she had. Can you believe it? I’m going to make the
next fucking Golden Gate bridge Luz”. Jorge
Luz believed that she had found the looked across the table into her eyes and
one, her “in sickness and in health”. A er smiled so wide it almost made her not feel
10 months of da ng, she was already head anxiety star ng in her toes.
over heels in love with Jorge Hernandez. So,
a er a night of movies and dinner, as Jorge What could Luz do but smile, kiss him
pulled onto the curb by her house, she and tell him congrats. This is what Jorge
asked him to keep driving. That drive end- had been working towards since he grad-
ed a city over, at the entrance of his home. uated college, how could she not support
They made their way into the home, only him? As she ate her food, Jorge con nued
pausing at the wooden door of his room. to make promises of weekly visits, and a fu-
ture from them both. He talked so anima-
“Do you know what this means?” he tedly that even she almost believed him.
asked.
Now, Luz is toying with the silver pen-
Her answer seemed to be a kiss that dant of Jesus on res ng on her chest while
con nued through the loss of clothing, and si ng on the toilet, wai ng for a pregnan-
a entwined limbs on a king-sized bed, that cy test that will show two pink lines. She
before today was never seen by Luz. started a mer on her phone for 3 minutes,
watching the me slowly ck off from her
Luz thought the day a er losing her vir- phone un l the numbers begin to blur from
ginity to him, that this was it. Jorge was go- the tears in her eyes.
ing to purpose to her one day, maybe a er
college at her gradua on like in all the vid- Luz thought to herself, how can I possibly
eos online. It would be roman c, her fam- be in this situa on right now? How could I
ily would be proud, and she’d have the life have thought this man would stay with me
she’d always imagined she’d had. when he moved to San Francisco. He tried
at first, giving her calls every day, send-
But instead, she would meet Jorge at ing pictures of himself in front of beau ful
Montecristo, the Mexican restaurant they backgrounds. But quickly, he seemed to fall
would frequent on weekends. And when he off the face of the earth. Was that night not
grabbed her hand and opened his mouth to as special for him as it was for her? Did she
speak, Luz expected to hear, “I love you” or imagine what was special between them?
“You look beau ful” or even, “What do you
want to eat?” She knew deep down that she wanted
this baby. She tried not to want it, but her
Instead he opened his mouth to say, “I dreams at night were filled with the faces
got a job!”

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Adelaide Literary Magazine
of angelic baby girls and boys with curls
like their father, and almond eyes like her
own. She knew enough not to think a baby
would make a man stay, but maybe it would
be enough to have this piece of him.

Luz is startled out of her thoughts by the
sound of bells coming from her phone. She
sees the mer blink back 00:00. Forcing a
breath out of her lungs, Luz picks up the
test she had set on the sink beside her.

She sees one line but doesn’t feel any
be er.

About the Author:

Adrianna Zapata is a Crea ve Wri ng major studying at Salem State, she will be gradua ng in
the spring of 2019. Her story, “Luzcinda” is inspired both by experiences as a La na woman,
and love.

76

AMSTERDAM

by Ruth Deming

A er my second cup of Starbucks Coffee, Without thinking, my mind went straight
the world was looking mighty beau ful. As to what had happened in Ethiopia and Ma-
assistant librarian of the Willow Grove Li- laysia. We plunged head-first onto the run-
brary – and I promise not to joke about the way. Not even me for the pilot to warn us.
lack of water-deple ng willow trees – I was
en tled to a two-week vaca on. I snapped to the present tense and
watched, entranced, as the plane flew up-
I’d men oned to my daughter, Louisa ward like a bird eager to build a nest.
Rose, that I’d like to vaca on in Amsterdam.
Might she come with me? “Quite something,” said the man in the
seat next to me.
“Absolutely not, Maman,” she said partly
in French over the phone. “You must learn “You read my thoughts,” I laughed.
to travel by yourself.”
Beep-tones kept going off.
When I hung up, I knew she was right.
“You may remove your seatbelts,” said
A million ques ons ran through my the voice of the pilot.
mind. Would there be terrorists on the
plane? Would I be able to stop them? Once As a librarian used to obeying orders, I
in Amsterdam, would I smoke pot? What removed my seatbelt. I wanted to joke to
museums would I see? the man in the next seat, “I’ll also remove
my clothes.”
The airplane was not a Boeing, a won-
derful plane founded in 1916 by one Wil- Not a good idea.
liam Boeing. The eponymous Boeing would
be freaking out if he knew what had hap- How long had it been since I had an af-
pened in January of 2019. Safety features fair with someone?
had failed to work on the Boeing 737 in
Ethiopia and Malaysia, simply because the A couple before my marriage. My ex-hus-
pilots didn’t understand how they worked. band excelled at affairs, which is why we
were no longer together.
When I got my driver’s permit years ago,
I thought I’d never learn to drive, un l I took Closing my eyes, I took small naps as we
lessons with Uncle Eddie’s Driving School. crossed the Atlan c Ocean. I o en awoke
when I heard myself snore. When food arrived,
Looking out the window of the plane af- I would eat ravenously, then fall back to sleep.
ter li -off, I marveled at the miracle of flight.
“What did you say your name was?” I
asked in one of my remissions.

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“Oh, sorry,” he said. “William.” “Not a problem,” I said, ha ng that ex-
pression.
“What a fine name,” I said. “I’m glad you
don’t abbreviate it.” That night, we lay on a king-sized bed, at
the Renaissance Amsterdam Hotel.
We awkwardly shook hands from our
seats. The room was pala al, with a table
spread with delicacies. A silver coffee pot.
Neither of us wore a wedding band. All sorts of teas. Cheeses. Jams.

William had a large red stone where the I had opened the blinds so that the star-
wedding band should be. ry sky was in full view.

“Gorgeous ring,” I said, poin ng. So music played on the radio. Jazz.
Miles Davis running the Voodoo down.
He told me he had graduated from the
University of Pennsylvania, which was in We snuggled in each other’s arms.
the bowels of Philadelphia. They were not
immune to scandal. “Shall we?” asked William.

“You must be smart,” I said, laughing. “Well, I’m not Mary Lou,” I said.

“That’s not what Mary Lou told me,” he We made love for hours. It was nothing
said. short of spectacular.

“Your wife, undoubtedly,” I said. The next day a taxi brought me to a Cof-
fee Bar, as the marijuana bars are called.
A male flight a endant passed by in a
red uniform, no different, I thought, than a When I got out, I walked along the brick
prison uniform. street where thousands of bicycles whizzed
across the street. Motorbikes, as loud as
“Uh, how long sir, un l we reach Amster- firecrackers, joined the general cacophony.
dam?” I asked.
A er entering the shop, a tall man in
He looked at his watch. a white chef’s hat and the label “Henryk”
across his chest addressed me in English.
“An hour and twenty minutes,” he said.
“Your desire, madame?” His dark eye-
I excused myself and walked to the ny brows bounced up and down.
restroom in front of us.
“Help me choose something mild, Hen-
“Vacant!” read the sign. ryk, marijuana, that is.”

Good Lord, it was ny, as I balanced my- I ordered a plate of Gouda cheese, ny
self on the seat. How could I pee in a situa- raw herrings, and a small white joint of sa va.

on like this? One always managed. Not only Moving to a table, I brought out my
did I flush, hearing nothing over the roaring paperback, “The Lion, the Witch and the
of the plane, but I also washed my hands. Wardrobe,” by C S Lewis.

William was gone, too, having used an- It was so popular at our library but I nev-
other restroom. er got around to reading it.

Whatever was I going to do with him? Yes, I was “high,” but not terribly so, as
Henryk had indicated.
“Natalie,” he said. “Dare I ask you if you
want to get adjoining rooms at our hotel?”

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Every word glimmered like a jewel on Recently I had watched the film Gates
the page. of Eternity with red-bearded Willem Defoe
playing the tormented van Gogh.
“Once there were four children whose
names were Peter, Susan, Edmund and In my light sweater and silver dangling
Lucy. This story is about something that earrings, I found my way to a large room
happened to them when they were sent filled with Vincent’s pain ngs.
away from London due to the Air-Raids.”
One wishes always to be alone with the
Why, this is quite wonderful, I thought, ar st.
wondering what had become of William.
And I was.
Wearing my Rockport shoes, I walked down
to the Vincent van Gogh museum. I must have Standing alone, I whispered, “You,
had a smile on my face, as people were smil- above all, are my favorite ar st. And there
ing at me. As is o en the case, I thought I saw are so many others. Rembrandt, Velasquez,
my grandchildren, Rosie and Li le Jack. Gauguin (yes, I know you gave him the gi
of your ear). In fact, when I go home, we
The sun shone brightly and one or two will have a lecture at our library about you,
forlorn clouds moved slow as elephants dearest Vincent.”
across the sky.
I spoke “Vincent” as the French do.
The pot had worn off. Fine. I bought a
cket and entered the light-filled museum. In the gi shop, I stocked up on earrings,
William Hockney, known for his modernis- posters, to be shipped home, and darling
c pain ngs of swimming pools, was also hand towels in as bright-colored yellow as
exhibi ng there. As a member of L.A. Fit- his sunflowers and straw hat. Removing my
ness back home, I swam early in the morn- own earrings, I installed a pair of long silver
ing before the crowds got there. earrings that reached my shoulders.

Chlorine I considered one of my favor- And William?
ite smells, as I backstroked across the pool,
then pushed myself off the blue les, doing I never saw the bastard again.
the Australian crawl and sidestroke.

About the Author:

Ruth Z. Deming is a poet and short story writer who
lives in Willow Grove, PA, a suburb of Philadelphia. Her
works have been published in Mad Swirl, Literary Yard,
ShortStory,net and other wri ng venues. She runs New
Direc ons, a support group for people with depression,
bipolar disorder and their loved ones. “Yes I Can: My
Bipolar Journey” details her triumph over bipolar disorder.
A mental health advocate, she educates the public about
this treatable illness.

79

STALKING CHORE

by Joshua Eric Swedlow

A one-story house on a familiar street in alone. Soon, he pulls the cord above him
the early morning can be seen as the sun signaling his stop.
rises. Light shines in a so haze on the dew
and mist hanging in the air. From the sin- Bore moves through the bus terminal
gle window on the side of the house, above growing crowded with commuters. He pass-
shrubs and plants underneath aluminum es magazine racks with people lingering,
siding, a changing light, from a television lines of people wai ng for their buses or
set, gleams off the glass. Bore, a young man just making their way from one transfer to
in a baseball cap and jacket, walks around another. He passes rows of people si ng in
the house. He climbs, stumbles through the plas c chairs equipped with coin-operated
poorly landscaped evergreen shrubs and television sets. He checks his watch, realizes
up to the window. On his ptoes, he peers he has a few minutes, sits next to a fat, bald-
into the house and lingers. ing woman with a young child, surrounded
by plas c shopping bags. She has plunked a
Bore turns away from the window and, few quarters into the machine and the televi-
with his hands in his pockets, walks the pe- sion set runs at low volume. She is watching
rimeter of the house. Then, passing iden- the elderly gentleman s ll in his bathrobe,
ea ng a bowl of cereal. Bore looks down at
cal houses, he makes his way to the bus the child squirming around on a leash that
stop, a few blocks past. Looming in the dis- is wrapped around the fat woman’s leg. The
tance of a morning fog, a city bus. It stops, child, no more than eight, looks up at Bore
the doors open, and he gets in. Bore walks and gives him the middle finger. The televi-
to one of the last seats on the bus and he sion set that the fat woman watches runs out
sits down. of me and she bangs on the side of it with
her palm. Bore stands up and walks away.
The bus makes several stops and slow-
ly it fills with passengers. A middle-aged Bore stands in line for his bus transfer.
woman sits next to Bore. She carries a He adjusts his baseball cap down below his
portable television set. Bore peeks over eyes and shi s his weight on the balls of his
her shoulder and no ces that the woman feet. In the cold morning, he exhales smoky
watches an elderly gentleman, bald, beard- air. The line moves, and he boards his bus
ed and dressed in a bathrobe, brushing his transfer.
teeth. His name, and the name of his tele-
vision show, is Chore. A few stops later, the Bore steps off the bus and into the
woman exits at her stop, leaving Bore again street, immediately beneath a large office

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building where he works as a mail clerk and Hunched over and freezing, he walks along
he enters. the sidewalk. He passes by the house with
the single window and then returns to that
Approaching the security desk, Bore window, climbs through the bushes and
takes a pen, on a plas c chain a ached to again, puts his face up against the glass and
a clipboard, and signs in. Behind the desk, peers through.
the security guard watches several surveil-
lance monitors, in black and white, with Light from a television set glows around
running numbers beneath each. Off to the the back of a chair. The image on the tele-
side of the security desk, a small portable vision set in the room of the house, into
television set plays at low volume. It has n which Bore spies, portrays Bore spying into
antennae, set up for recep on. Bore peeks the house. Bore turns away and pulls his
behind the desk and spies the program that jacket up around him, res, falls asleep in
the security guard has tuned into, again the the bushes around the house. He wakes up
elderly gentleman, ugly and decrepit, as he some me later, stands, walks down the
puts on a shirt. sidewalk. The steam from his cold breath
swirls around him as he exhales. He hunch-
Bore approaches the me clock, punch- es his shoulders and pulls his jacket collar
es in. He sets his me card back in the file. up around him. He makes his way back to
He moves over to his sta on and begins the bus stop, sits in the glass shelter and
to work the mail for the employees of the checks the schedule again, checks his
building, sor ng through express envelopes watch. Moments later, the bus appears,
and packages, filing on a wall of mailboxes. and he boards.

As Bore walks past rows of cubicles lead- Later, Bore exits as the bus squeals to
ing a mail cart, he stops at each cubicle to a stop and the double doors open. He has
deliver envelopes and packages. At each chosen a stop in a bad part of town and im-
cubicle he stops at, instead of an employ- mediately upon disembarking the bus, re-
ee at his or her desk working, each cubicle grets his decision. The street is strewn with
possesses a portable television set with empty metal garbage cans and cardboard.
A tumbleweed plas c bag floats by. Bore
n antennae and Chore on at low volume. begins walking in a dislocated way, passing
With each delivery, Bore lingers just mo- tenement buildings and boarded up win-
mentarily to spy the program on the sets. dows. He stops briefly at an old homeless
The elderly Chore is seen si ng at his kitch- woman to give her some change that he
en table, staring into space. Bore leads his digs out of his pockets. He drops the coins
cart around the floor and into the elevator, in a paper cup. She pays him no a en on,
hits the bu on for the basement, and waits instead being focused on a portable televi-
for the door to close. sion set she holds in her hands, n anten-
nae twisted and covered in aluminum foil.
A er work, Bore slides through the re- Bore peeks around her and dwells a second
volving door of the office building and onto to watch Chore watching television on tele-
the street. He puts on his jacket. He makes vision. Chore sits comfortably in his house.
his way down a few blocks to the bus sta- Bore drops a few more coins into the wom-
an’s paper cup and moves on past.
on, sits, and checks his watch.

The bus stops at a nondescript corner,
the double doors open and Bore exits.

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*** changing light from a television set flickers
and reflects in the windowpane. Bore ap-
A few sca ered passengers ride the bus proaches, hunched with his jacket collar up
on an early morning and Bore sits near the around his ears, climbs through the bushes
back. Each of the five or six passengers at the side of the house and up to the win-
on the bus carry a portable television set dow. He puts his face against the window
with extended n antennae crooked. Bore and peers through. Chore sits before his set
reaches up and pulls the cord to no fy the watching his own television show depic ng
driver of his stop, the bus stops and the a man peering through the window of his
double doors open. own house. From his jacket pocket, Bore
pulls a portable television set and extends
Bore checks his watch, pulls his jacket the n antennae, flips it on and sits down,
up around him and bares the cold, walk- watching. Chore rises and looks out his win-
ing down a large city street lined with of- dow. When the kid no ces him doing so on
fice buildings. He passes by a large deliv- the portable television set that he watches,
ery truck and two men in li ing belts set he throws the portable television set into
a large screen television on a moving dol- the bushes and runs down the suburban
ly. As Bore walks down the city street, the street and into the night.
large screen television set rolls along with
him at the same speed. A er a moment, Chore, standing up in his living room,
the set flickers on and the image portrayed flips off the television set. He slowly makes
on the screen is Chore, walking to his mail- his way to the bathroom, shuffling his feet
box. Bore approaches the office building in in his slippers. He closes the door behind
which he works. He steps up to the revolv- him. In the bathroom, he sets two mirrors
ing door, lingers for a moment. He walks off opposite each other and stands between
and the television set enters the building. them. Looking le and looking right, he can
see images of himself standing in his bath-
The house with the aluminum siding and room repeated to infinity in either direc on.
the single window glows dully in frost, a

About the Author:

Joshua Eric Swedlow is a visual and literary ar st working
on edi ng his first novel en tled The Book of Joshua, a
fic onal autobiography par ally set in beau ful Paradise
Harbor, Antarc ca. He has completed a book of short
stories that he calls Banned Book and a poe c manifesto
en tled Nine. He lives in Pala ne, Illinois with his wife,
Katherine, and his two cats, Hobbes and Goose. His work
will be included in the Spring 2019 edi on of Infinite Rust
and you can follow him on Instagram using @joshericswed
to see outrageous pictures and the process of crea ng a
pain ng, which he walks through in photographs from
beginning to end.

82

WHIRLWIND

by Alex G. Dumas

She sat turned in the front seat facing the he said to Robert in his broad accent. He
passenger window with tears in her eyes. touched the brim of his cap as his eyes
By mid-a ernoon they reached Leeds, the shi ed to Galen.
departure point from the highway for trav-
elers venturing to Yorkshire. When columns “That long, huh?” Robert said.
of light started to break through what had
been an endless gray sky, he opened the “Aye,” the shepherd replied. “Have to
driver side window to take in the emer- bring ‘em in every so o en. To protect the
gence of a glorious spring day. weak and young. Foxes, you know.”

“The sun actually does come out in mer- “Christ!” Robert huffed. He reached in
ry old England!” he bellowed, breaking a the backseat for the camera and got out
long silence. Ge ng no reac on, he said of the car. “Well, let’s make the best of it!”
nothing more. The towns became small- he said to her through the driver’s window.
er and farther apart as they drove farther “Why don’t you get out and look around.
north. Soon, there were only ny hamlets. Just don’t sit there feeling sorry for yourself.”
In me, even they disappeared. Then there
were only isolated stone farm houses and Galen began to sob. He turned and
miles of stone walls. The walls rose into the walked away.
distant hillsides and served to demarcate
the lush green dales from the barren high- ***
lands, brown from years of strip mining.
The trip had started nicely enough. The
He rounded a blind corner and sudden- flight from New York on Friday was pleas-
ly slammed the brakes. She put her hands ant and relaxing. They had a good dinner on
up to keep from hi ng the windshield. The the plane with lots of wine and talked un l
lonely, empty road suddenly had become they fell asleep. When they were awakened
clogged with sheep. Hundreds of black at dawn by the pilot’s announcement that
muzzles floa ng on a sea of white fleece. they were over the Irish coast, they be-
came excited. Their excitement grew when
They were being herded from an open the plane passed over Bristol and made its
field to a large, fenced area across the road. approach to Gatwick.
One of the shepherds, who was holding a
large staff in his hand, walked over to the When it was discovered that one of their
car. “You’ll be here a good tharty minutes,” suitcases had been lost, Robert Harvey re-
verted to old form. Galen had become used

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

to it. During their 12-year marriage, he had Her recovery, his promise to be be er, their
become an impa ent bastard. She had re- decision to take a second honeymoon, the
mained the sweet, good-hearted person excitement and restora on of hope that
she had always been. He had grown red you get when you travel—and then the stu-
of her youthful effusion and naiveté, which pid lost bag. It didn’t seem fair.
had endeared her to him back in college.
His abuse and suspected infidelity had Galen suddenly felt her breakfast as-
helped sink her into a depression. The bag cending. She closed her eyes and inhaled
had been lost, he reasoned, because she deeply through her nose. She focused her
had packed too much. She always packed thoughts on calming down and making a
too much. The addi onal bag had been graceful exit. When she began feeling bet-
unnecessary. His misogynic logic evolved ter, she sipped some coffee and signed the
into a weekend of sniping in London: The check.
high tea at Fortnum’s that she had to go to
was overpriced; she charged too much at The waitress promptly returned. Indig-
Harrods; they wasted too much me sight- nantly, she announced the account had
seeing at the Tower because she took too been closed. Galen fumbled for cash, but
many pictures. It went on like that. not being very comfortable with the cur-
rency, handed the woman a credit card.
A er bai ng her into an argument Sun-
day evening a er she spent an hour on the When she finally le the restaurant and
phone with the kids and her parents, he the trail of stares behind, she began to
walked out. When he came back several quickly walk through the hotel’s lobby. She
hours later, she refused to get out of bed asked several people if they had seen a tall
and let him in. He had to get a new key card man with blond hair. Finally, the concierge
from the desk. That morning, before the told her that Robert asked to have his car
drive north to Yorkshire, Robert had acted pulled around and loaded. Fran cally, she
even more miserably during breakfast in ran out the front entrance into the drizzle
the hotel restaurant. and nearly slipped on the sidewalk. He was
si ng in the car, with the engine running
“Do you want to leave right a er break- and the wipers going, at the curb.
fast, or should we wait un l a er lunch?”
Galen asked, trying to be pleasant and ***
make conversa on. Her husband’s head
stayed buried in the newspaper. “Don’t The miserable London experience seemed
treat me like somebody off the street!” she like a bad dream as Galen sat in the car,
finally yelled, swa ng the paper. which was now engulfed by sheep. Robert
was standing on top of a stone wall along-
Embarrassed, Robert put the paper side the road taking photos.
down and stared at her with his cold, green
eyes. “Go fuck yourself!” he said with an The sun was rapidly burning through the
angry hiss. He got up in a huff, knocking clouds. A brisk wind had picked up and was
the chair over. A er righ ng the chair, he pushing the dreary weather out. When the
walked out. sheep were finally gone, they con nued on
their way in silence. Robert pulled into the
She looked straight ahead, mor fied. It first filling sta on they came to. “Fill it with
had all been so short-lived, she thought. two-star,” he told the a endant.

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He leaned down on his arms and spoke mostly with mortar and stone facades,
through the open driver’s window to Galen. lined Ashburn’s main drag. Further down
“Let’s leave the weekend behind,” he said. was a town square, inlaid with cobble-
“The suitcase got me started and then the stones, where cars and trucks were parked.
hassle with the airline. Let’s make the best Robert turned in and parked.
of the rest of our me here, okay?”
“It’s seven,” she said nervously, looking at
Galen didn’t answer. her watch. “We should find a place now for
the night.”
He con nued, “This is really god’s coun-
try up here. It’s where we’ve wanted to go “Relax,” he said. “I’m going to walk back
for so long. I wish now that we’d driven up to that place with the sign and see what
here directly from the airport. I don’t want they have.”
to ruin it any longer. I’m sorry.”
“All right. But don’t be too long. It’s get-
She looked up and smiled. “I can’t be- ng dark.”
lieve we’re finally here either,” she said,
breaking her silence. “You’ve got to learn The small inn was called Campbell
to live and let live.” House. The landlady was pleasant enough,
but spoke to Robert through a chained out-
“Yes,” he said, looking away. er door. It didn’t take long before she decid-
ed she liked his manner and chiseled looks,
“They’ll find the suitcase,” she assured. and became rather excited at the prospect
“I know.” of boarding an American couple from New
York. She unlatched the door and let Robert
“Promise me you’ll forget about it and into the foyer. She was in her late 50s and
become the new Robert this week?” quite ny, with ruddy cheeks and a prom-
inent English nose. She was bundled in a
“I promise.” sweater jacket and wearing slippers.

“Promise we won’t fight this week?” “You caught me napping by fire!” she
said in her lilt. She closed the inner door
“Promise.” behind her to keep a yapping corgi from
nosing through.
***
“I’m Mrs. Campbell,” she said, extending
At sunset, they were s ll driving. They de- her hand. Robert took it firmly and intro-
cided to stop at the next bed-and-breakfast duced himself.
that looked invi ng. Several farms they had
passed had signs solici ng boarders, but the “In this business, you must be careful
Harveys decided that it would be be er to who you open doors to at night, especial-
find a place in a town, nearer restaurants and ly when husband is out,” she explained. He
pubs. At dusk, they drove into a town named smiled at the highlands pronuncia on of
Ashburn. They rode past a townhouse with “hoos-bend,” and the non-use of unneces-
white clapboard siding and a prominent “Va- sary words like “my.”
cancy” signs in the front window.
“I understand completely, ma’am,” Rob-
“A nice-looking place,” Robert noted, ert replied, politely.
thumbing over his shoulder. Houses and
shops, a few with wooden exteriors but

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

“Rent, including morning meal, is fi y A er you rise tomorrow and have a prop-
pounds per couple. If you stay three nights er breakfast, you go out and sightsee and
or longer, it goes to forty. There’s a com- decide if you want to stay or move on. I’m
mon bath, but it’s large enough for two and sure you’ll be back, and I’ll bill you when
it’s spotless and bright and up to standards you decide to leave.” She gave them a key
at home, I’m sure. As I said, there’s only to the front entrance. “Mister and I are in
one other couple boarding this week, so bed by eleven, so you’ll have to let your-
you needn’t be wai ng long in the morn- selves in. Breakfast is at eight.”
ing. Please bring missus in and I’ll show you
both the room.” She suggested they walk to the center of
town to a pub called The Black Stallion for
Mrs. Campbell greeted Galen like a long, supper. “It’s the best of the lot,” she said.
lost cousin from the colonies. She hugged “The other couple that’s boarding here has
her and held her by the arm as they climbed gone there three nights running. You might
the stairway to the second floor. catch up with them. Alan and Charlo e
Burns. A nice couple.”
“I think you’ll like the room, dearie,” she
said to Galen. “It’s the nicest we have.” ***

The room was indeed warm and homey: The Black Stallion was a simple, two-room
A thick, hand-kni ed Afghan lay stretched establishment, with a small bar with a
across the queen-sized bed. The walls were half-dozen stools and a few tables in one
pearly white and spotless, and the lace cur- and a modest dining area in the other. The
tains that framed the large window at the Burses weren’t hard to find as they were
foot of the bed were crisp and clean as if the only couple seated in the dining room.
they had just been washed and ironed. An They had finished ea ng and were having af-
old-fashioned wash basin stood in the cor- ter-dinner drinks.. They were a bit younger
ner for decora on. Above it, an an que than the Harveys. Alan Burns was in his ear-
mirror with smoked glass hung. ly thir es, average-looking and skinny, with
balding, sandy hair, a long neck and a prom-
Mrs. Campbell opened the large win- inent Adam’s apple. He had a cheery, run-
dow and beckoned the Harveys to take a at-the-mouth manner. Charlo e was about
look. They saw Wensleydale, a large farm- thirty and was rather stunning, with long
ing valley to the south of town. It was get- brown hair and piercing blue eyes. She had
high cheekbones and looked as though she
ng dark, and the farmhouse lights flick- could have been a model. Her appearance
ered in the distance. It was picture book. was made more intriguing by her quietness.
Galen was beaming from ear to ear. “It’s so
lovely!” she said. “I s ll can’t believe we’re Robert felt as if she were looking straight
here.” through him as they all became acquainted
at the table.
“That means we’ll take it,” Robert said,
smiling. He held out a 50- pound note, but “You damn Yanks are truly amazing!”
Mrs. Campbell refused it. Alan said a er they became comfortable.
“You seem to know more about our bloody
“Stay the night and see how you like it,” country than we do!”
she said. “Ashburn is as nice a spot as you’ll
find in Yorkshire, or England for that ma er.

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Robert returned the compliment. “I sup- Robert picked up on it quickly. “Alan’s
pose it’s because so many of us can trace absolutely right, dear girl,” he said. “By all
our roots here, but even if we can’t, we’re means, Englishwomen shouldn’t sell them-
s ll enamored with you. It must be the ac- selves short at all.”
cent. Or perhaps were just eternally grate-
ful for the Rolling Stones.” “Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Charlo e
said, with a smile.
They all laughed. Robert had a smooth-
ness and charm he could turn on if the She eased back from the conversa on.
company suited him—a prac ce learned Her eyes met Robert’s as Alan and Galen
over 15 years as a successful public rela- gabbed. They s ll sought his opinion, but
of a par cular Englishwoman.
ons execu ve.
“May I?” he asked, touching her pack of
“What do you do, Galen?” Alan asked. cigare es on the table. “Oh, of course.”

“Oh, I’m not working now,” Galen said, a “I le mine out in the car,” he joked. “It’s
bit sheepishly. “Just being a mother. I guess the great American excuse.” He went out-
that’s rare these days, but I’ve decided it’s side for a cigare e and she joined him.
best for the boys. They’re 9 and 6 and keep They chit-cha ed as he held out his lighter
me going all the me.” for her. She took his wrist and guided the
lighter toward her cigare e.
“That’s wonderful!” Alan exclaimed. “We
don’t have any li le ones yet, but we keep Once back inside, they ordered anoth-
trying, don’t we, Char?” Charlo e forced er round of ales and the Harveys ordered
a smile. The Burnses lived in a flat outside some fish and chips. When Robert and Ga-
London. He was an architect and she was len were finished, Alan suggested that they
an execu ve secretary. They were on their all go up the street to their favorite pub in
way to Scotland to spend the upcoming town.
Easter weekend with family.
“We only been in town for three nights,
Alan did most of the talking, while Char- but we’re already regulars there,” he said.
lo e smiled and nodded. “I’d venture that I’m already in the bar
keep’s will. It’s a helluva fun place where all
“Robert, what do American men think of the local pips gather.”
women in the U.K?” Charlo e asked, finally
speaking up. ““I imagine that with all the “Sounds wonderful,” Galen chirped.
glamorous European women, we’re sort of
considered Plain Janes by comparison. Am “I’ll se le up here and meet you all over
I right?” Her large, full lips were polished there,” Robert suggested. Alan pulled some
with red rouge, and her words flowed money from his pocket and held it out to
through them elegantly. Robert.

“Oh, don’t sell yourself short, poor girl!” “Please take this, old man!” Alan said.
Alan interrupted. Robert wondered how
she ended up with such a gangly fool. “Nonsense,” Robert said, pushing Alan’s
hand away.
“Alan, I’d like to hear Robert’s opinion,”
she said, rather abruptly. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. My pleasure.”

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

“Well, thanks very much. It’s very good He nodded.
of you. There’ll be a pint wai ng for you.”
She took hold of him by both shoulders
*** and looked closely at him in the dim light.
She licked him with her warm tongue and
Charlo e was wai ng for Robert outside. he began kissing her again.
The spring moon was full and the air was
cool and dry. There was a strong aroma of “Darling, we must stop for now,” she said,
burning coal. She was wearing a long, dark pu ng her hand to his face. She wiped her
topcoat with the collar turned up, and long, elegant fingers across his we ed lips
smoking. She immediately took his arm and chin to remove smudged lips ck. She
and cuddled up to him in a playful manner. then took his wet fingers gently in her hand
and sucked on them while looking deeply
“I said, `Poor Robert doesn’t really know in his eyes.
where he’s going,’ so I told them to go on
ahead and I’d wait for you,” she said. “Wipe them clean and dry, darling. You
mustn’t have me all over you,” she cau-
“I’m glad you did,” he replied.
oned.
“Really?”
***
“Yes. I’m very glad you did.”
Mrs. Campbell was chipper and talka ve
As they walked up the street arm in arm, the next morning in the breakfast room at
Charlo e touched her head to his shoulder. Campbell House. Robert and Galen had fin-
She stopped them in front of a church. ished ea ng and were having another cup
of coffee when Alan and Charlo e came
“The pub is the next block over,” she downstairs.
said. “We can cut through the church yard
if you’d like, although it’s rather dark.” “Top of the morning!” Alan announced
in his cheery manner. Everyone exchanged
“Let’s,” he agreed. gree ngs.

She pressed against him more urgently “How’d you sleep?” Mrs. Campbell asked.
as they walked. She stopped them in the
shadow of the church. She turned and faced “Like royalty, mum,” Alan said. “Without
him. “I’m chilly, Robert,” she said, nervously. a care in the world. There must be some-
thing really good in the air up here.”
He took the upturned collar of her coat
and pulled her face close to his. He lightly “Good boy!” the landlady replied. “And
kissed her lips, tas ng her rouge, and when you, Charlo e?”
she parted her lips, he pushed his tongue
deeply into her mouth. He wet the fingers “Very well, thanks, mum,” she said, po-
on his right hand and he felt his way under litely, but with none of Alan’s effervescence.
her skirt and pan es. They stood in the She put her hand over her mouth to cover
shadows for several minutes. He rubbed a big yawn.
her methodically un l she groaned and
shuddered with pleasure. “Oh deary, you look like you need your
coffee!” Mrs. Campbell said. “I’ll bring it
“Don’t say anything now,” she said, breath- straight-away.” She scurried back into the
ing heavily, when they stopped. “We’re be- kitchen.
ing missed and must be on our way.”

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“That was great fun last night, wasn’t it?” “I saw that one, too!” Galen said. “But old
Alan said. Robert here didn’t want to go in, did you?”

“Yes, it was great fun,” Galen replied. “Well, I have a solu on,” Alan offered.
“Let’s leave Robert and Charlo e to their
“It really was, wasn’t it?” Alan said, while pub-hopping, and we’ll go to the shops. Fair
munching loudly on a tea cracker from a enough?”
basket on the table. “How are you feeling,
Robert old man? You and Char put on quite They agreed to meet by one o’clock in
the bag last night!” Robert looked at him the town square.
for a moment with his piercing, green eyes,
and then broke into a smile. “I’m ready to Several townspeople were si ng in the
do it again tonight.” pub. Robert and Charlo e found an empty
si ng room off the main room and ordered
“That’s the spirit!” Alan chirped. two ales.

“Yes, let’s do it again tonight,” Charlo e “Please close the door behind you,” he
agreed. She glanced at Robert and smiled. said to the bar maid when she returned
with the ales. He placed a ten-pound note
As the Burnses ate their breakfast, it was on the tray. “Please keep the extra.”
decided that they would all dine together
that evening and then go to the pub again. The women’s eyes grew wide. “No need
Robert told Mrs. Campbell that he and Ga- for all that, sir!” she exclaimed.
len wanted to stay on un l Saturday, when
the Burnses were planning to depart. She “Please keep it. And please make sure
was very pleased and invited them all back we’re not disturbed.
for tea that a ernoon.
“Aye, sir. I’ll make sure nobody enters.”
A er breakfast, the couples went their She smiled and closed the door behind her.
separate ways to sightsee in the dales. At Charlo e immediately li ed her skirt and
noon, in a quaint village, they ran into each straddled Robert’s thighs.
other on the street.
“I want you,” she whispered while kissing
“Fancy mee ng you here!” Alan squawked. his ear.
In less than 24 hours, Robert had grown to
dislike him intensely. “Yes, darling.”

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I ***
could use a drink,” Charlo e said. “A er all,
I’m on holiday.” Upon mee ng up again, the couples spent
the rest of the a ernoon driving around
“Sounds good to me,” Robert said. the Yorkshire countryside in Robert’s rent-
“There was a nice-looking pub down the ed car. He kept looking at Charlo e, who
street that we passed.” was si ng in the backseat with Galen, in
the mirror. Eventually they returned to the
“Much too early for me,” Alan said. “I’d village where they had met up so that the
like to browse in some more of these won- Burnses could pick up their car before re-
derful, old shops. There’s an old bookstore turning to Campbell House for tea.
down the way that caught my fancy.”
Again, the couples agreed to split up—
Galen driving back with Alan and Charlo e

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with Robert. Back at Campbell House, Mrs. shine for your breakfast by half-past seven,
Campbell had a large tray of fresh-baked or sleep in. I’ll leave coffee on the warmer
scones wai ng for them, and had the din- and scones for the sleepyheads.”
ing room table set with her best linens, sil-
ver and china for her guests. ***

Mr. Campbell, a re red London accoun- That evening, a er dinner, the Burnses and
tant, joined them. “Well, kids, how’ve you Harveys went to the pub for cognacs. Rob-
been enjoying yourselves in our beau ful ert was quiet and a bit sullen and broke
countryside?” he asked. away from the group and ended up talking
to the bar tender. He waited for Charlo e
“It’s been a true delight, sir,” Alan replied, to go to the ladies room and met her in the
in his syrupy way. “Did you see the castle hallway.
near Askrigg?”
“Fancy mee ng you here!” he said, pull-
“It was absolutely wonderful!” Galen re- ing her close and kissing her neck.
plied.
She pulled away. “Not here, Robert!,”
“It was more than that. It was posi vely she said. “You know you’ve really been
dank and gothic,” Alan added. “No wonder quite boorish tonight.”
Mary Queen of Scots was such a depressed
thing. Imagine living in that place for eight “I just can’t stand listening to him talk all
years. And with those toilet facili es!” the me!” Robert replied.

The Campbells and Galen howled. Rob- “We’ve been through all that,” she said.
ert forced a smile. As they talked, Robert
stole looks at Charlo e to pass the me. He looked around and made sure no-
She was si ng across from him. He sat body was coming. He pulled her close and
back and admired her. She had become a groped her breasts. “I want you so much,
goddess to him, with her long flowing hair darling!” he said.
and pou ng lips and lovely face. He wanted
to run away with her. “I know,” she said, kissing him. “But we
have a problem.”
Before the tea was over, Mrs. Campbell
made an announcement. “Tomorrow is “Problem? Does he suspect?”
Wednesday, market day for me,” she said.
“So I will be up and out early.” “Worse,” she said. “He’s talking about
leaving earlier. On Friday instead of Satur-
Mr. Campbell chimed in. “And I will be day. To beat the Easter weekend traffic.”
out before your feet touch the floor, my
dear. I plan to make a run to Leeds for some “Jesus, no!” Robert said.
major supplies. Easter’s this weekend, and
that means the start of our busy season— “But I think I can talk him out of it,” she
with all those nasty tourists!” said.

Everybody laughed. “Listen to me,” he said. “Sleep in tomor-
row. Say you’re too red, you have a head-
Mrs. Campbell con nued, “Since Trev- ache, whatever. I’ll do the same. ***** The
or and I will both be busy as bees, rise and morning broke clear and cold. Robert heard
Galen talking to Alan in the hallway outside
the room.

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“Robert, are you up?” she asked upon “The Queen?” Galen replied, teasing.
returning.
“No, silly girl! Guess again.”
He turned over and pulled up the covers.
“Go ahead on,” he said. “I drank too much. I “It must have been the Queen Mother
need to sleep some more.” then,” Alan quipped.

“Alan’s up, and he’s ready to go.” “No, you sillies. It was the parcel man. He
brought Galen’s lost bag!”
“Well go with him, then.”
“Oh, my god!” Galen exclaimed. “I’d al-
“All right. But you sure you don’t mind.” most forgo en it. Imagine them driving it
all the way up here? What did Robert say?”
“Have a good me. I’ll catch up with you
later.” “He wasn’t down yet, and I wasn’t about
to wake him,” Mrs. Campbell said. “I le it
“You sure?” at the foot of the stairs.”

“Have a good me,” he said. “Was Charlo e up and about yet?” Alan
asked.
She closed the door behind her. He got
up a er a few moments, opened the door “Nay, she was sleeping as well.”
a crack and got back into bed.
The woman con nued up the sidewalk
He heard their voices downstairs and toward the market. “I must get to the
then, a er what seemed like an eternity, butcher before it gets too crowded,” she
heard the entrance door slam. There was said, talking over her shoulder. “Bye.”
a short period of silence, which was final-
ly broken by footsteps. Who was s ll here? They waved.
he thought. He heard the doorbell ring
and then heard Mrs. Campbell’s voice and Galen turned and looked sadly at Alan.
another voice—a man’s voice. The door “I want to go back, but I’m afraid,” she said.
slammed again. And then it fell silent again.
A er several more minutes of uninterrupt- “Then why go back?” he replied, looking
ed silence, Robert knew they were alone her in the eyes. “You’ll only get hurt again.”
in the house. He got up and ptoed down
the hallway and through the door at the far “Well, how do you feel?” she asked.
end of the hall. It clicked shut behind him.
“I was hurt the first few mes me, but
Down the street, Alan and Galen were I’ve found that it’s not worth it to go through
coming out of a shop when they heard their the hurt each me. I guess I’ve learned to
names being called. It was Mrs. Campbell. accept it.”
She was walking toward them pulling her
two-wheel grocery basket She was waving “Accept it? How can you accept it. Alan?”
and smiling broadly.
“They’re not going to change,” Alan said.
“Galen, darling, you won’t believe who “So let’s not fret about something we can’t
stopped in Campbell House just as I was on control. Yes, we’ll have to make decisions
my way out the door,” she said, quite ex- eventually, but not today. Let’s enjoy our
citedly.
me together. Perhaps we’ll spend the
day together. Perhaps we’ll just do it. How
would that be?”

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

“That would be nice,” Galen said, wiping sha ered pelvis, and various other injuries
tears from her eyes. “That would be very nice.” – as a doctor talked with two nurses.

*** “The constables told me that he’s a Yank
and she was a Brit,” he said. “They’re trying
A er showering and dressing, Robert and to find out where they met or were staying.”
Charlo e drove out into the dales. As he
drove, she began hugging and kissing him “What on earth do you plan on saying to
passionately. She soon rested her head on him?” a nurse asked.
his lap, unzipped his trousers, and began
performing intense oral sex on him. As he The doctor squinted and scratched his
orgasmed, his eyes rolled back in his head. forehead. “Perhaps I should get the chap-
He never saw the on-coming lorry in front lain to speak to him when he wakes up…be-
of them as he rounded a bend on the nar- cause he has to be told the sad reality that
row road. his female companion is gone,” he said.

Later, in Robert’s intensive care hospital He paused a moment. “In the mean me,
room, he was s ll under seda on and un- I’m going to have to figure out the best way
conscious – suffering from broken legs, a to tell him that his manhood, as he knew it,
also is gone.”

About the Author:

A.G. Dumas is a long me writer from New Jersey. His most recent short stories include “God
Will Turn Eleven On Her Next Birthday,” “The Beta,” “The Robbed Is Not Blameless,” and “A
New Vagina.”

92

DIGNITY OF A DOG

by Mizuno Senko

Translated from Japanese by Marissa Skeels

“You. Does anything bother you about the way of beginning a story. The flash of my
way your husband is?” Yoshino whipped face when I’d jerked my chin up had drawn
around to face me. her a en on to me out of the blue, giving
her a chance to frame her topic. I wilted
“Me?” I was mor fied. I’d not said a word, with relief back into my role as a member
but I’d been paying close a en on to what of her silent audience.
everyone was saying and hadn’t dreamed
I’d be called upon. “I adore my husband, and I love him.”

The topic of conversa on had dri ed A twi ering of giggles broke out.
here and there, flowing from whom it was
that our bride-of-the-moment Kirishima “Well, there’s no need to laugh, be-
loved, to the accoutrements with which men cause I’m not trying to boast. Our mar-
adorn themselves. It’s no secret that people riage doesn’t really bear men oning. But
whom men find handsome, and which men here I am, men oning it… What I mean is
are striking in women’s eyes, differs vastly. he doesn’t ask enough of me to complain
about. He wants me to cook for him, and
I snapped my head up when the conver- sure, he has a temper some mes… He can
sa on lulled, at which point Yoshino thrust fly into some nasty rages, but although he
the focus upon me with her sudden, “You…” hits me, he apologizes for it soon a er-
wards when he thinks he was in the wrong.
Thrown, my gaze fell the ground. And he shapes up pre y much the same as
any man with a large build does, but I don’t
“Ah, right, right! That’s right, it’s come think he looks par cularly shabby.
to me again just now, right this second!”
Yoshino kept on loudly, out of step with the “And yet something about him leaves me
general pace of the room. dissa sfied. It’s not his nature, nor his face,
nor figure… No, actually, it does seem to
When I li ed my head again, her eyes have to do with his countenance, but that’s
were s ll fixed on me, but the topic she’d not quite it either. How should I put it? He
raised was probably harmless. Her animat- lacks a certain grandeur—No, no, I wouldn’t
ed features filled me with blessed ease. go so far as to say that, because I do think
he’s grand enough. But for some unknown
Her ques on, phrased as if to draw me
into conversa on, had been merely her

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

reason, I can’t help but feel the sense he “A huge stretch of its grass, half of it, was
should be or do something much greater. dried out, and there were a few small hills
and dips that rose and fell to the boundary
“I’ve been fully sa sfied to be claimed by of the park where an enormous sun burned,
him ever since we first started seeing each glowing as it set, red as blood. I paused to
other, but I’ve always had this irrita on bask in its dying rays, taking a moment to
deep down that something somewhere in stare peacefully at the sharp peaks of trees
him just cannot sa sfy me. What on earth against the sky. People were wandering
could it be, do you think? around aimlessly as the sun fell. Everything
looked so wonderfully insubstan al!
“You see, it’s not just my husband whom
I have these clawing doubts about. No, each “That was the moment I suddenly saw
and every man in the world, all the men I’ve him. Him, a gigan c dog, with a boy of
ever met so far, all have this element which about twenty with all the markings of a
dissa sfies me. I’ve never in my life met any houseboy. If I were to describe the chain
man other than the kind you can sum up in the boy held, well, it was this thick! And his
one glance. Not for a day, nor even half a whole body was pitch black, like a bear’s,
day. It’s quite likely I’ll feel this way forever, and he had a li le patch of white that ran
although I tell myself that can’t possibly be from his chest to his belly.
the case. Despite that, the more I think that
I’m sure I’ve come across a flawless person “Well, how can I put into words the air of
in the past, even if only once, I have to be- majesty that dog had!
lieve that the perfect man must exist.
“Three or four small dogs brought by
“Did I perhaps daydream mee ng him? other people gathered in a li le knot near-
Did I fall prey to some outrageous fantasy? by and barked at him midly. He stood
If so, when and where did I dream him up? stock-s ll, legs together, staring o and-
How did I fall so deep into delusion? No, I edly but as apparently in mida ng as if he
can promise you that the faces of fic onal were glaring. That was how composed this
men in tales and books don’t have the kind incredible dog was. His bearing could only
of dignity I seek. You know what it is?” ever be formidable that he exercised total
control, thus was overwhelming in such a
Yoshino paused, like she was trying to way that I thought at the me it that such
draw out her tale before the punchline landed. majesty could never be seen in any human.
I was madly envious of whomever owned
“It’s hit me just now, right at this very such a dog. I couldn’t stand my envy even
moment, what I could never un l now re- toward the houseboy who was with him.
member. What’s hit me, you ask? It really is For a while I just stood there, staring at him.
an absurd thing.
“That’s what I’ve been missing, isn’t it?
“I mean, listen! What it is…is a dog. It’s I’ve been searching this whole me for a
the dignity of a dog! person who can show me that dog’s dignity
once more, haven’t I? Forever, right up un-
“Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? But that’s
what it is that every man is missing. A long l now, for such a long, long me. I must be
mad. Even I think so.
me ago, when I was in a park in Toyama
one me…or maybe not. Wherever it was, “Ah, I’ve finally worked it out, and it’s lu-
it was definitely a grassy area. I was walking dicrous, just total, u er nonsense!”
through a big, grassy area.

94

犬の威嚴

水野仙子

『あなたは、あなたの旦那樣の御容 のうごきを見ると、私はすつかり安心
子をすつかりお氣に召してゐらつしや してしまつた。
る？』と、いきなりよしのさんの言葉
が私に向いて來た。 私の話をひき出すやうに言ひかけた
のは、よしのさん自身の話の冒頭だつ
『え？』 たのだ。ふいと顏をあげたはづみがき
つかけになつたゞけのことなんだ。
私はたいへんどぎまぎした。そんな
質問が私の上にまで、利口な聽手にな で、私はまた安心して靜な聽手にな
つて、默つてばかりゐた私にまで及ん つた。
で來ようとは、ちつとも豫期しなかつ
たのである。 『私は良人を崇拜してゐてよ、また
愛してもゐるわ。（聲笑起る）まあ、
それは先刻から隨分いろんな話が出 笑ちつやいけないわ、おのろけのつも
だ。さうして今度結婚することになつ りぢやないんだから。仰しやるまでも
た君島さんの大切な人の話から、男の ありませんて？まあ、なんとでも仰し
風采つてものが暫く話題の花形になつ やい……でね、私は良人に對してこれ
た。男の仲間でいふ謂はゆる好男子と、 つていふもの足りなさも持つてゐない
女の眼から見た好男子とは形が違ふな けど、そりあ御馳走を喰べたがつたり、
んてことも大分言はれてゐた。 時々疳癪を起して――あれでて隨分疳
癪もちよ、私を擲つたりするけれど、
私は話の切れめにふと顏をあげた でも自分が惡いと思つた時にはあとで
のだつた。するといきなり『あなた すぐ謝るわ。でね、柄もあのとほり大
は…‥』とよしのさんに水を向けられ きいし、さういつちやなんだけれど、
たので、ほんとに困つてしまつて、一 風采だつてさう見すぼらしいことはな
寸の間下をむいてゐた。 いと思つてゐるのよ。

『あゝ、さうださうだ、さうだ私は それだのにたつた一つ私に滿足され
今、たつた今それを思ひ出した！』と、 ないあるものがあるやうなの。それは
よしのさんは續いて調子はづれな聲を あの人の性質でもなければ、顏でもな
出して言つた。 く、姿でもなく……さうね、それでゝ
やつぱり風采に關してゐることのやう
またふいと顏をあげてみると、やつ なんだけれども、さうでもないやうな
ぱりその目はちよいと私にそゝがれた んだわ。なんていつたらいいでせうね、
けれど、どんなにその事を言ひ表した 威嚴が缺けてる――いやいやさうぢや
らいゝかにわくわくしてゐるやうな顏

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Adelaide Literary Magazine

ない、十分あの人には威嚴だつて備つ まあ聞いて頂戴！それは犬なんです
てゐると私思つてるんだから。だのに、 よ。犬の威嚴だつたのよ！
なぜかもつともつとどうかしてなけり
あならないやうな氣がして仕樣がない なんだかちんぷんかんなことを言つ
のよ。 てるでせう、わたし。ね、それはかう
いふことなの。もう隨分前のことだわ、
それはそもそも私があの人を見はじ いつか私が、戸山が原……ぢやなかつ
めた時から、私の心はすつかりあの人 たかしら、だけどなんでも原にはちが
の持つてゐるもので滿足してしまひな ひなかつたと思ふわ、その原をどうか
がら、それでもなほどつかに、あるも して私が通りかゝつた時のことなの。
の足らなさが潛んでゐたんです。
一面に枯芝を纏うたほのかな起伏が、
ね、一體それはなんだと思し召し 波を打つて續いた野のはてに、それは
て？ それは大きくまつ赤な入日が、まるで
血のやうに燃えて輝いてゐました。夕
だけど、それは良人にばかし懷く私 日を浴びた樹立は、尖つたその頂上を
の心持ぢやないんですの。世の中のあ 空に向けて靜止してゐました。だのに
りとあらゆる――少くも私の見たかぎ そこらをうろうろと散歩してる人間ど
りの男に、私はいつもその物足らなさ もが、その時どんなに見すぼらしく貧
を味はゝされてゐるわ。あ、この人だ 弱に私の目に見えたことでせう！
と一目で思はれるやうな男に、私はま
だ一度だつて半度だつて出つくわした 折も折、ふと出逢つたのは、それは
ことがないんだもの。恐らくこれから それは大きな犬なんです。二十ばかり
先だつて、そんなことはないだらうと の書生らしい男に連れられて、その鎖
私自分でも思つてゐるわ。その癖私は つていつたら、こんな太さ！全身が熊
曾て一度、確にさういふ人に出逢つた のやうにまつ黒で、さうして胸から腹
ことがあるやうにも思はれるほど、さ の方にかけて少し白いところがあるの。
ういふ男がなければならないやうに信
じられてならないのよ。 まあその犬のおごそかな風采といつ
たら！
私は夢でもみてるんでせうか？とん
でもない空想にたぶらかされてるんで ちようど外の人達に連れられてゐた
せうか？ねえ、さうしたら私はいつど 小さな犬達が、二三匹集つて臆病さう
こで、そんな夢を見たんでせう？どう に吠えたてゝゐるのを、立ち止つて足
してそんな空想に耽るやうになつたん を揃へて、睨めるやうにぢつと見つめ
でせう？いゝえ、それは物語や小説で てゐるその容子の立派だつたことつた
みた男の顏でも威嚴でもないことはた ら……威風あたりを拂ふとでもいふの
しかだわ。 でせうね、凜とした、さうしておほき
な感じのするあの威嚴を、私はとても
それがね、（と、よしのさんは種あ とても人間には見ることができないと
かしをするまでの時間をなるべく長く その時思つてよ。私はさういふ犬を持
しようとするやうに言葉を切つて）つ つてゐる主人が羨ましくなつて、その
い今のこと、たつた今のこと、ふつと 犬を連れてゐる書生さんまでが羨まし
思ひがけなくそれが思ひつけてよ。な くつてたまらなかつたの。私は暫くの
んだと思ひなすつて？それはほんとに 間ぢつと立つてその犬を見つめてゐて
馬鹿馬鹿しいことなのよ。 よ。

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Revista Literária Adelaide

それぢやありませんか。その犬の威
嚴を、私は再び人間の上に見ようと搜
してゐたんぢあありませんか。今まで、
長あい間。馬鹿ねえ私も隨分。

あゝ、解つてみりあばかばかしい、
ほんとにばかばかしいつたらありやし
ない！』

About the Author:

Mizuno Senko (1888-1919) was a novelist from Fukushima,
Japan, who worked in Tokyo as a reporter for a na onal
newspaper before re ring at 28 due to pleurisy. She was
part of the feminist literary group The Bluestocking Society,
notorious non-conformists whose journal Seitosha was
revolu onary (and banned within five years) for its radical
promo on of socialism, feminism, and gay rights in Japan
in the 1910s.

About the Translator:

Marissa Skeels is a Melbourne-based editor and translator
who has lived in Fukushima, Kyoto, and Tokyo for several
years. Her transla ons appear in Overland, The Brooklyn
Rail, BlazeVOX, and elsewhere.

97

HERO KARMA

by Mariel Yovino

I used to tell Dahlia the story of the princess I didn’t o en ask him about his work, or our
and the cowboy when we were all together own taxes, or even our credit. I knew ev-
– the one about a princess who was dancing erything was always put in its place, lined
at a ball. That was how I assumed stories up and ordered, perfectly formulated. We
told to your children should begin. I usu- were one of the few couples I knew who
ally changed the ending, unless I was very had never once argued about money. We
never bought a boat on a whim without
red. Some of my favorite versions of that consul ng one another, or gave money
story were when the prince’s stable boy to a friend’s start-up or charity when we
arriving on a motorcycle or helicopter, to couldn’t afford it. I kissed him on the cheek
which Dahlia would giggle and inform me and pulled on my coat. “Where are you
that there were not motorcycles then. All heading?” he asked without li ing his head
the men rode horses, she’d say, and I had from his numbers.
to agree. Ever accurate, like her father. So
eventually the hero became a cowboy just “I’m just going over to Lisa’s for a li le bit.”
to keep things interes ng. He would lasso
the highbrow suitors and throw the prin- He sat back in his chair and sighed. “How
cess on the back of his horse – although is she doing?”
I s ll imagined it was a motorcycle. This
night I told it as I had before; the princess “She’s alright...considering.”
hated dancing and instead preferred to
climb trees. She was climbing one outside “Did the insurance money come in yet?”
to get away from the King and the Queen
and all the suitors, when a branch broke “I’m not sure. I think his family is help-
and she was caught on the way down by a ing her in the mean me.” I tugged at the
passing guard. She ran away with the guard sleeves under the jacket. “She said it makes
and became a singer. them feel be er,” I added.

Dahlia dri ed off and I tucked up the “Hm. Well, good luck.”
covers and le her to sleep. Luke was on his
an quated calculator at the kitchen table, I nodded and opened the door.
mumbling to himself. He had been working
most of the day and night all throughout Lisa lived across town in a complex of
March, preparing for the mid-April crunch. condominiums, unusual for an established
suburb like this. Her apartment was half
the size of the main floor of my house, but I
always found it charming nonetheless.

98