THE Grumbling Hive: OR, K N A V E S by Bernard Mandeville

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THE Grumbling Hive: OR, K N A V E S Turn'd HONEST. (1705)

by Bernard Mandeville

And all those hard laborious Trades;

A Spacious Hive well stock'd with Bees, Where willing Wretches daily sweat,

That lived in Luxury and Ease; A nd wear out Strength and Limbs to eat:

And yet as fam'd for Laws and Arms, Whilst others follow'd Mysteries, [45]

As yielding large and early Swarms; T o which few Folks bind Prentices;

Was counted the great Nursery [5] That want no Stock, but that of Brass,

Of Sciences and Industry. And may set up without a Cross;

No Bees had better Government, As Sharpers, Parasites, Pimps, Players,

More Fickleness, or less Content. Pick-Pockets, Coiners, Quacks, Sooth-

They were not Slaves to Tyranny, Sayers, [50]

Nor ruled by wild Democracy; [10] And all those, that, in Enmity

But Kings, that could not wrong, because With down-right Working, cunningly

Their Power was circumscrib'd by Laws. Convert to their own Use the Labour

Of their good-natur'd heedless Neighbour:

These Insects lived like Men, and all These were called Knaves; but, bar the Name, [55]

Our Actions they perform'd in small: The grave Industrious were the Same.

They did whatever's done in Town, [15] All Trades and Places knew some Cheat,

And what belongs to Sword, or Gown: No Calling was without Deceit.

Tho' th'Artful Works, by nible Slight;

Of minute Limbs, 'scaped Human Sight The Lawyers, of whose Art the Basis

Yet we've no Engines; Labourers, Was raising Feuds and splitting Cases, [60

Ships, Castles, Arms, Artificers, [20 ]Opposed all Registers, that Cheats

]C raft, Science, Shop, or Instrument, Might make more Work with dipt Estates;

But they had an Equivalent: As were't unlawful, that one's own,

Which, since their Language is unknown, Without a Law-Suit, should be known.

Must be call'd, as we do our own. They kept off Hearings wilfully, [65]

As grant, that among other Things [25] To finger the retaining Fee

They wanted Dice, yet they had Kings; ;And to defend a wicked Cause,

And those had Guards; from whence we may Examin'd and survey'd the Laws;

Justly conclude, they had some Play; As Burglars Shops and Houses do;

Unless a Regiment be shewn T o find out where they'd best break

O f Soldiers, that make use of none. [30] through. [70]

Vast Numbers thronged the fruitful Hive; Physicians valued Fame and Wealth
Yet those vast Numbers made 'em thrive; Above the drooping Patient's Health,
Millions endeavouring to supply O r their own Skill: The greatest Part
Each other's Lust and Vanity; Study'd, instead of Rules of Art,
Whilst other Millions were employ'd, [35] Grave pensive Looks, and dull Behaviour;
T o see their Handy-works destroy'd; [75]
They furnish'd half the Universe; To gain th'Apothecary's Favour,
Yet had more Work than Labourers. The Praise of Mid wives, Priests and all,
S ome with vast Stocks, and little Pains That served at Birth, or Funeral;
Jump'd into Business of great Gains; [40] To bear with th'ever-talking Tribe,
A nd some were damn'd to Sythes and Spades, And hear my Lady's Aunt prescribe; [80]

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With formal Smile, and kind How d'ye, Get more, I won't say, than he should;
To fawn on all the Family; But than he dared to let them know,
And, which of all the greatest Curse is That pay'd for't; as your Gamesters do,
,T 'endure th'Impertinence of Nurses. That, tho' at fair Play, ne'er will own
Before the Losers what they've won. [130]
Among the many Priests of Jove, [85]
H ir'd to draw Blessings from Above, But who can all their Frauds repeat!
S ome few were learn'd and eloquent, The very Stuff, which in the Street
But Thousands hot and ignorant: They sold for Dirt t'enrich the Ground,
Yet all past Muster, that could hide Was often by the Buyers sound
T heir Sloth, Lust, Avarice and Pride; [90] Sophisticated with a Quarter [135]
For which, they were as famed, as Taylors Of Good-for-nothing, Stones and Mortar;
For Cabbage; or for Brandy, Sailors: Tho' Flail had little Cause to mutter,
Some meagre look'd, and meanly clad Who sold the other Salt for Butter.
Would mystically pray for Bread,
Meaning by that an ample Store, [95 Justice her self, famed for fair Dealing,
]Yet lit'rally receiv'd no more; By Blindness had not lost her Feeling; [140]
And, whilst these holy Drudges starv'd Her Left Hand, which the Scales should
,Some lazy Ones, for which they serv'd, hold,
Indulg'd their Ease, with all the Graces Had often dropt 'em, bribed with Gold;
Of Health and Plenty in their Faces. [100] And, tho' she seem'd impartial,
W here Punishment was corporal,
The Soldiers, that were forced to fight, Pretended to a reg'lar Course, [145]
If they survived, got Honour by't; In Murther, and all Crimes of Force;
Tho' some, that shunn'd the bloody Fray Tho' some, first Pillory'd for Cheating,
,H ad Limbs shot off, that ran away: Were hang'd in Hemp of their own
Some valiant Gen'rals fought the Foe; [105] beating;
Others took Bribes to let them go: Yet, it was thought, the Sword the bore
Some ventur'd always, where 'twas warm; C heck'd but the Desp'rate and the Poor;
Lost now a Leg, and then an Arm; [150]
Till quite disabled, and put by, That, urg'd by mere Necessity,
They lived on half their Salary; [110 Were tied up to the wretched Tree
]Whilst others never came in Play, For Crimes, which not deserv'd that Fate,
And staid at Home for Double Pay. B ut to secure the Rich, and Great.

Their Kings were serv'd; but Knavishly Thus every Part was full of Vice, [155]
Cheated by their own Ministry; Yet the whole Mass a Paradice;
Many, that for their Welfare slaved, [115] F latter'd in Peace, and fear'd in Wars
R obbing the very Crown they saved: They were th'Esteem of Foreigners,
Pensions were small, and they lived high, And lavish of their Wealth and Lives,
Yet boasted of their Honesty. The Ballance of all other Hives. [160]
C alling, whene'er they strain'd their Right, Such were the Blessings of that State;
The slipp'ry Trick a Perquisite; [120] Their Crimes conspired to make 'em Great;
And, when Folks understood their Cant, And Vertue, who from Politicks
They chang'd that for Emolument; Had learn'd a Thousand cunning Tricks,
Unwilling to be short, or plain, Was, by their happy Influence, [165
In any thing concerning Gain: ]Made Friends with Vice: And ever since
For there was not a Bee, but would [125] The worst of all the Multitude

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Did something for the common Good. Like Creatures lost without Redress
,C ursed Politicians, Armies, Fleets;
This was the State's Craft, that maintain'd Whilst every one cry'd, Damn the Cheats,
The Whole, of which each Part complain'd: And would, tho' Conscious of his own,
[170 In Others barb'rously bear none. [215]
]T his, as in Musick Harmony,
M ade Jarrings in the Main agree; One, that had got a Princely Store,
Parties directly opposite By cheating Master, King, and Poor,
A ssist each oth'r, as 'twere for Spight Dared cry aloud; The Land must sink
;A nd Temp'rance with Sobriety [175] For all its Fraud; And whom d'ye think
S erve Drunkenness and Gluttonny. T he Sermonizing Rascal chid? [220
]A Glover that sold Lamb for Kid.
The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice, The last Thing was not done amiss,
W as Slave to Prodigality, Or cross'd the Publick Business;
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury. [180 But all the Rogues cry'd brazenly,
]Employ'd a Million of the Poor, Good Gods, had we but Honesty! [225]
And odious Pride a Million more M erc'ry smiled at th'Impudence;
Envy it self, and Vanity A nd Others call'd it want of Sence,
Were Ministers of Industry; Always to rail at what they loved:
Their darling Folly, Fickleness [185] But Jove, with Indignation moved,
In Diet, Furniture, and Dress, A t last in Anger swore, he'd rid [230]
That strange, ridic'lous Vice, was made T he bawling Hive of Fraud, and did.
T he very Wheel, that turn'd the Trade. The very Moment it departs,
Their Laws and Cloaths were equally And Honsty fills all their Hearts;
Objects of Mutability; [190] There shews 'em, like the Instructive Tree,
For, what was well done for a Time, Those Crimes, which they're ashamed to
In half a Year became a Crime; see? [235]
Yet whilst they alter'd thus their Laws, W hich now in Silence they confess,
Still finding and correcting Flaws, B y Blushing at their Uglyness;
They mended by Inconstancy [195] Like Children, that would hide their
F aults, which no Prudence could foresee. Faults,
And by their Colour own their Thoughts;
Thus Vice nursed Ingenuity, Imag'ning, when they're look'd upon, [240]
Which join'd with Time; and Industry That others see, what they have done.
Had carry'd Life's Conveniencies,
I t's real Pleasures, Comforts, Ease, [200] But, Oh ye Gods! What Consternation,
To such a Height, the very Poor H ow vast and sudden was the Alteration!
Lived better than the Rich before; I n half an Hour, the Nation round,
And nothing could be added more: Meat fell a Penny in the Pound. [245]
T he Mask Hypocrisie's flung down,
How vain is Mortals Happiness! From the great Statesman to the Clown:
Had they but known the Bounds of Bliss; [205] And some, in borrow'd Looks well known,
And, that Perfection here below A ppear'd like Strangers in their own.
Is more, than Gods can well bestow, The Bar was silent from that Day; [250]
The grumbling Brutes had been content For now the willing Debtors pay,
W ith Ministers and Government. Even what's by Creditors forgot;
But they, at every ill Success, [210] Who quitted them, who had it not.

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Those, that were in the Wrong, stood mute, To whom the rest Obedience paid:
And dropt the patch'd vexatious Suit. [255] Himself, employ'd in holy Cares;
O n which, since nothing less can thrive, Resign'd to others State Affairs:
Than Lawyers in an honest Hive, He chased no Starv'ling from his Door,
All, except those, that got enough [300
,With Ink-horns by their Sides trooped off. ]Nor pinch'd the Wages of the Poor:
But at his House the Hungry's fed,
Justice hang'd some, set others free; [260] The Hireling finds unmeasur'd Bread,
And, after Goal-delivery, The needy Trav'ler Board and Bed.
Her Presence be'ng no more requier'd,
With all her Train, and Pomp retir'd. Among the King's great Ministers, [305]
First marched 'some Smiths, with Locks and A nd all th'inferiour Officers
Grates, T he Change was great; for frugally
Fetters, and Doors with Iron-Plates; [265] They now lived on their Salary.
Next Goalers, Turnkeys, and Assistants: That a poor Bee should Ten times come
Before the Goddess, at some distance, To ask his Due, a trifling Sum, [310]
Her cheif and faithful Minister And by some well hir'd Clerk be made
Squire Catch, the Laws great Finisher, ,T o give a Crown, or ne'er be paid;
Bore not th'imaginary Sword, [270] Would now be called a down-right Cheat,
But his own Tools, an Ax and Cord; Tho' formerly a Perquisite.
Then on a Cloud the Hood-wink'd fair All Places; managed first by Three, [315]
Justice her self was push'd by Air: Who watch'd each other's Knavery,
About her Chariot, and behind, And often for a Fellow-feeling,
Were Sergeants, 'Bums of every kind, [275] Promoted, one anothers Stealing,
Tip-Staffs, and all those Officers, Are happily supply'd by one;
That squeese a Living out of Tears. By which some Thousands more are gone.
[320]
Tho' Physick liv'd, whilst Folks were ill,
None would prescribe, but Bees of Skill; No Honour now could be content,
Which, through the Hive dispers'd so wide, To live, and owe for what was spent.
[280] L iveries in Brokers Shops are hung,
That none of 'em had need to ride, They part with Coaches for a Song;
Waved vain Disputes; and strove to free Sell Stately Horses by whole Sets; [325]
The Patients of their Misery; And Country Houses to pay Debts.
Left Drugs in cheating Countries grown,
And used the Product of their own, [285] Vain Cost is shunn'd as much as Fraud;
Knowing the Gods sent no Disease They have no forces kept Abroad;
To Nations without remedies. Laugh at the Esteem of Foreigners,
And empty Glory got by Wars; [330]
Their Clergy rouz'd from Laziness, They fight but for their Country's Sake,
L aid not their Charge on Journey-Bees; When Right or Liberty's at Stake.
But serv'd themselves, exempt from Vice, [290]
T he Gods with Pray'r and Sacrifice; Now mind the glorious Hive, and see,
All those, that were unfit, or knew, How Honesty and Trade agree:
Their Service might be spared, withdrew; The Shew is gone, it thins apace; [335]
Nor was their Business for so many, And looks with quite another Face,
(If th'Honest stand in need of any.) [295] For 'twas not only that they went,
Few only with the High-Priest staid, By whom vast Sums were Yearly spent;

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But Multitudes, that lived on them, ,W here Pains to get 'em are not paid.
Were daily forc'd to do the same. [340]
In vain to other Trades they'd fly; As Pride and Luxury decrease,
All were o're-stocked accordingly. S o by degrees they leave the Seas,
N ot Merchants now; but Companies [385]
The Price of Land, and Houses falls R emove whole Manufacturies.
Mirac'lous Palaces, whose Walls, All Arts and Crafts neglected lie;
Like those of Thebes, were raised by Play, [345] Content the Bane of Industry,
Are to be let; whilst the once gay, Makes 'em admire their homely Store,
Well-seated Houshould Gods would be A nd neither seek, nor covet more. [390]
More pleased t'expire in Flames, than see;
The mean Inscription on the Door So few in the vast Hive remain;
Smile at the lofty Ones they bore. [350] The Hundredth part they can't maintain
The Building Trace is quite destroy'd, Against th'Insults of numerous Foes;
Artificers are not employ'd; Whom yet they valiantly oppose;
No Limner for his Art is famed; Till some well-fenced Retreat is found;
Stone-cutters, Garvers are not named. [395]
And here they die, or stand their Ground,
Those, that remain'd, grown temp'rate, strive, No Hireling in their Armies known;
[355] But bravely fighting for their own;
So how to spend; but how to live; Their Courage and Integrity
And, when they paid the Tavern Score, At last were crown'd with Victory. [400]
Resolv'd to enter it no more: T hey triumph'd not without their Cost,
No Vintners Jilt in all the Hive For many Thousand Bees were lost.
Could wear now Cloth of Gold and thrive; Hard'ned with Toils, and Exercise
[360] They counted Ease it self a Vice;
Nor Torcol; such vast sums advance, W hich so improv'd their Temperance,
For Burgundy and Ortelans; [405]
The Courtier's gone, that with his Miss That to avoid Extravagance,
Supp'd at his House on Christmass Peas; They flew into a hollow tree,
Spending as much in two Hours stay, [365] B lest with content and Honesty.
A s keeps a Troop of Horse a Day.
The M O R A L.
The Haughty Chloe; to live Great, THEN leave Complaints: Fools only strive
Had made her Husband rob the State: To make a Great an honest Hive. [410]
But now she sells her Furniture, T 'enjoy the World's Conveniencies,
Which the Indies had been ransack'd for; [370] Be famed in War, yet live in Ease
Contracts the expensive Bill of Fare, Without great Vices, is a vain
And wears her strong Suit a whole Year: E utopia seated in the Brain
The slight and fickle Age is past; .Fraud, Luxury, and Pride must live; [415]
And Cloaths, as wel as Fashions last. Whilst we the Benefits receive
Weavers that ioyn'd rich Silk with Plate, [375] .H unger's a dreadful Plague no doubt,
And all the Trades subordinate, Yet who digests or thrives without?
Are gone. Still Peace and Plenty reign, Do we not owe the Growth of Wine
And every thing is cheap, tho' plain; To the dry, crooked, shabby Vine? [420
K ind Nature, free from Gard'ners Force, ]Which, whist its shutes neglected stood,
Allows all Fruits in her own Course; [380] Choak'd other Plants, and ran to Wood;
But Rarities cannot be had But blest us with his Noble Fruit;

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As soon as it was tied, and cut:
So Vice is beneficial found, [425]
When it's by Justice lopt and bound;
Nay, where the People would be great,
As necessary to the State,
At Hunger is to make 'em eat.
Bare Vertue can't make Nations live [430]
In Splendour; they, that would revive
A Golden Age, must be as free
For Acorns, as for Honesty.