Reader's Digest AUSTRALIA AUG2020

ANIMAL KINGDOM

Phat Phil’s

ROAD
TO SLIM

At 11 kilograms of feline flabulosity, Phat Phil
needed to lose weight – but try telling him that

BY Lindsy Van Gelder

PHOTOS: COURTESY LINDSY VAN GELDER M y cat Jean-Philippe is Depending on your age and cultural
not what you might tastes, you might describe him as the
charitably describe as feline Orson Welles, or maybe the kit-
“big-boned”. In fact, ty John Belushi, or perhaps the tabby
his head and his tail Notorious B.I.G. I usually call him
are on the petite side. But then there’s Phat Phil. I love him, but he is basi-
his giant, jiggly belly. A year ago, he cally a meat loaf with fur. That makes
weighed in at just under 11  kilo- him adorable and lovable, but not all
grams. Now he’s a svelte 9.5 kilos, al- that healthy. To make sure that Phil
though our journey is far from over. sticks around for as long as possible,

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I knew I needed to make some chang- cat food and whined for more. But as

es to his diet – whether or not he was an indoor-outdoor cat, he was at least

fully on board with them. getting plenty of exercise. Outdoor

Phil’s feral past life is hazardous for cats – they can
be hit by cars, felled by diseases, and

Not to make excuses for him, but let set upon by predators – but waistline

me tell you a little about his back expansion is not a major risk. All of

story. I adopted him when he was that changed when I moved Phil

about si x months old. Before he and his (non-feral, non-fat) adopted

came to my house, SINCE I AM sister, Tufa, across
he had been feral, THE OPENER the country to a
found with a cou- OF THE CANS, fourth-floor apart-
ple of other kittens ment. He became

hiding in a sewer I CAN ONLY a full-time foodie.
grate. The rescue BLAME MYSELF Eleven porkishly
group that cap- plump kilograms

tured him told me of feline flabulosi-

he had been kept alive by hunting ty. In hindsight, maybe creating a pet

lizards and from the generosity of a paradise in my backyard would have

man who worked in a local bakery been a good idea to ensure he got a

who gave him handouts. From rep- little more exercise.

tile burgers and bread carbs, there Since I am the Opener of the Cans,

was nowhere to go but up. I can only blame myself. I’m admit-

Like many former feral animals, tedly a pushover. I felt sorry for him,

Phil always tended to act as if he were deprived of his lizard kingdom. I also

starving to death. He wolfed down his made the same mistake I’ve made

100 august 2020

Phat Phil’s Road to Slim

when I’ve tried to shed a few human Somewhat-Less-of-a-Chunky Phil,
kilos. Oh, how much could it hurt? I it’s dangerous for cats to lose weight
was clearly in denial. I finally real- too quickly. Crash diets can cause
ised things were getting out of hand a potentially fatal condition called
– OK, out of paw – when he outgrew hepatic lipidodis. Rather than slash
his cat carrier and the new one that Phil’s weight by half or more, the vet
was the right size for him was mar- decided to aim for a more modest
keted to medium-sized dogs. goal of eight kilograms – still 25 per
cent of his body weight, or the equiv-
A dawning of a diet alent of a 91-kilogram human whit-
tling down to 68 kilos. She sent me to
His vet emphatically suggested a a website that calculates how many
diet. Cats are vulnerable to many of kilojoules a day a cat needs in order
the same health problems that obese to slim at a healthy pace. We were on
humans are – and in fact, X-rays show our way.
that Phil already has some arthritis in
his front paws. In his case, the stakes You apparently need advanced al-
are even higher; he had a tumour re- gebra to count cat-food kilojoules.
moved from one of his back legs, and
if it ever comes back, the veterinary Phil eats a combination of raw,
recommendation is amputation. The freeze-dried, and canned food, and
vets say that tripod cats usually do he began his diet at 1133 kilojoules a
quite well under those circumstanc- day. Have you ever tried to figure out
es, but not if they’re dragging around the kilojoules in your cat’s favourite
the equivalent of a whole other cat. brands? Some don’t say at all. Others
tell you in teeny-tiny print. Or they
Although Phat Phil needed to be- publish it in terms that require you
come Sylph-Like Phil, or at least to revise on high school algebra and

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figure out, say, that if 450 grams of reduced to 1050. But it’s an ongoing

freeze-dried chicken nuggets con- struggle. He’s a hardened, cagey,

tain 523 kilojoules, with a kitchen sneaky food thief. I feed his sister on

cup weighing about 700 grams, and a high benchtop that he can’t reach,

50 nuggets fit in a cup, each nugget but he regards the dining-room ta-

has... wait, carry the 3.... In general, ble as fair game. Just this morning,

this is the very best IT’S AN I got distracted for a
diet for cats, according ONGOING moment and realised
to vets. STRUGGLE. he (who had already
chowed down break-
Not surprisingly, a HE’S A fast) had sprinted off
small food scale and HARDENED, with a piece of my
a calculator are now smoked salmon.
fixtures in my cat-food SNEAKY
cupboard. I also real- FOOD THIEF And the battle
ised that there’s a huge continues
disparity in how fat-

tening different foods He wheedles. And

are. A small pouch of one of Phil’s fa- nags. He starts lobbying for dinner at

vourite brands can range from under about 1pm, sometimes rising up on

200 kilojoules to more than 400. So, his hind legs and tapping me on the

one of the first things I had to do was shoulder with his front paw as I sit at

to find a happy medium of flavours my computer. If he had a watch, he’d

that he liked, that would satisfacto- be pointing at it. Resisting his pleas

rily fill him up, and that would stay takes as much self-control on my part

within his kilojoule count. that I can muster. But I persevere.

And hooray! After more than a And any month now, my boy is

year, he’s down to nine kilos and going to slim down that dog-sized

change – on a good day – and his body and become the size of a very

daily k ilojoule count has been large cat.

Cash Stash Turns to Trash

A man in Taiwan who buried about $280,000 in cash five years ago
is learning the hard way there may be better ways to store his life
savings. On digging it up, the man, a farmer known only as Wang,

discovered the bank notes were rotten and mouldy and broke
apart on contact, according to news reports. About $70,000 of the

notes were unable to be restored. UPI.COM

102 august 2020



HEALTH

WATCH
WHAT
YOU’RE
EATING

Many of our everyday
foods – processed and
convenient – are
dangerous to our health

BY Susannah Hickling

104 august 2020

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READER’S DIGEST

re you happy to heat up a frozen
pizza again,” I asked my son as
I got ready to go out. What
16 year old doesn’t love pizza?

“A“Make sure you have a salad with
it,” I instructed, keen to ensure he’d
be eating a healthy meal. But glancing at the ingredients
on the pizza box, I began to have my doubts.

Not only were there high amounts of salt, saturated
fat and sugar in that innocent-looking pepperoni pizza,
there were also mysterious ingredients such as glucose
syrup, dextrose, yeast extract and sodium nitrite.
What on earth was I feeding my son on nights when
I was out with my friends? I vowed to find out more.

Today, 39% of adults in the world foods such as ready meals, indus- PHOTO: (PREVIOUS SPREAD) GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCKPHOTO
aged 18 or over are overweight, with trially made bread, desserts, sugary
13% obese. Carrying excess kilos cereals and sweetened drinks. A
can cause a host of life-threatening 2019 New Zealand study of pack-
health problems from diabetes to aged food on supermarket shelves
heart disease to cancer. One of the found that more than two-thirds
reasons why people are overweight was classified as ultra-processed.
is that they are eating ever more
ultra-processed or convenience A fast-paced lifestyle and the
foods – foods that contain additives accessibility of processed food and
and other unlikely ingredients. drinks is contributing to the rising
global incidence of diabetes and
Despite most countries requiring obesity. A 2016 Global Panel on
food manufacturers to list all ingre- Agriculture and Food Systems for
dients contained in packaged food Nutrition report found that people
to help consumers make healthy living in Southeast Asia are shifting
food choices, studies show that con- away from traditional starch-based
sumers are increasingly choosing diets and towards food rich in fat,
manufactured foods with unhealthy protein, dairy and sugar, much of it
ingredients. packaged and processed.

In Australia, 42 per cent of peo- The report blames these trends
ple’s diets consist of ultra-processed on changing food environments.

106 august 2020

Watch What You’re Eating

PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCKPHOTO Healthy foods such as fruit and veg- ADDED SUGAR
etables are becoming increasingly
expensive in most countries, while pasta sauces, ready-made meals and
unhealthy and fast food is becoming potato crisps, to name just a few.
cheaper and easier to buy.
They’re even in some granolas,
Start eating unhealthy food young which are touted as a healthy break-
and you could die young. In a 2019 fast cereal. “Try switching to bran
Spanish study of nearly 20,000 uni- flakes, which are high in fibre, or
versity graduates who were followed porridge made with semi-skimmed
up over 14 years, with an average age or skimmed milk,” recommends
of 37.6 years at the outset, 335 people nutrition scientist Simon Steenson.
died. The main cause was cancer. Re- “Top this off with a sliced banana or a
searchers found that the participants handful of berries and you’re on your
who ate the most ultra-processed way to one of your recommended
food – more than four servings a day five-a-day servings of fruit and veg.”
– were 62 per cent more likely to have
died during the study. They were According to a major 2014 US
also more likely to have a higher BMI study, you could be nearly three
– more weight in relation to height – times as likely to die from heart dis-
than those who ate the least. ease if added sugar makes up 25 per
cent or more of your diet, compared
As I dug deeper, I was surprised at to keeping sugar intake to less than
some of the additions in our every- ten per cent.
day, highly refined diet and the ef-
fect they have on our health. Here
are some of the commonly consumed
processed foods – and their ingredi-
ents – we’d all do well to limit.

Added Sugar

Adding sugar of any kind, whether
brown or white, honey, corn syrup,
sucrose or even fruit juice concen-
trate, to food means we’re tempted
to eat more of it. This can cause us
to pile on the weight. There’s actual-
ly no such thing as a healthy added
sugar.

Added sugars are everywhere.
They’re in baby food, tomato sauce,

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A 2019 study of more than 450,000 Artificially Sweetened
people from ten European countries Soft Drinks
found that people who drank more
than one sugar-sweetened soft drink It’s pretty easy to spot soft drinks
a day – soft drinks are one of the main containing synthetic sweeteners. You
sources of sugar in our diet – had a 59 might see ‘diet’, ‘sugar free’, ‘zero sug-
per cent higher chance of dying from ar’ or ‘low calorie’. Look on the list of
digestive diseases, such as liver dis- ingredients for aspartame (E951), ace-
ease and pancreatic and intestinal sulfame K (E950), saccharin (E954) or
problems, compared to consumers sucralose (E955), or a combination of
who drank less than one a month. these.

A food label might simply say ‘sug- Don’t go thinking that just because
ar’ but the higher up it appears in the something is free of added natural
list of ingredients, the more sugar sugars, it’s good for you. Three studies
your product contains. If the added last year found a link between glug-
item ends in ‘ose’ – like sucrose, glu- ging too many artificially sweetened
cose, maltose, fructose – it’s a sugar. drinks and premature death from all
Molasses, agave syrup and hydro- causes.
lysed starch are added sugars, too.
“Compared with low consumers of
ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS these drinks (less than one glass per
month), those drinking two or more
glasses per day had a 52 per cent PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK
higher risk of dying from strokes, heart
attacks and other cardiovascular con-
ditions,” explains nutrition researcher
Amy Mullee, co-author of the 2019
large soft drinks study.

Diet colas, lemonade, tonic wa-
ter, sports drinks, diluted syrups and
squashes, sweetened fruit juices – any
drink containing an artificial sweeten-
er, whether fizzy or flat, is in the frame.

All the experts say the same thing:
drink water. Sounds boring? Add a
slice of lemon, mint or cucumber to
sparkling or still water.

Nitrates and Nitrites

W hen you’re fr ying up bacon for
breakfast, the smell is to die for, but

108 august 2020





Watch What You’re Eating

PHOTO: JOE GOUGH/GETTY IMAGES NITRATES & NITRITES And, a 2018 Scottish study of more
than 262,000 women revealed that
you could be preparing a distinctly the more processed meat post-men-
unhealthy meal. opausal women consumed, the more
likely they were to develop breast
Salts of nitrates and nitrites are cancer. For those who ate over nine
used legally to preserve processed grams – approximately half a slice of
meats like bacon, pancetta, ham, ham – a day, the increased likelihood
sausages, salami – and yes, even was 21 per cent.
the pepperoni on my son’s pizza.
They’re also used in some cheeses. “Processed meats are often also
But nitrates and nitrites form can- really high in salt and saturated
cer-causing compounds, known as fat,” says food safety expert Nina
nitrosamines. Eating them puts you McGrath.
at risk of bowel and breast cancer.
“Think about making your bacon
The World Health Organization sandwich an occasional treat,” says
has classified processed meats as Simon Steenson. He also recom-
carcinogenic, right alongside tobac- mends trimming excess fat or buying
co. A recent UK study found the risk leaner cuts.
of bowel cancer grew by 20 per cent if
you ate the equivalent to three slices Added Phosphate
of ham or rashers of bacon per day.
Processed cheese slices, some
creamy cheese spreads and many
other manufactured foods contain
phosphate, an additive which in
large quantities can be bad for your
kidneys and heart, and weaken
bones.

We all need phosphorus for
healthy teeth and bones and to
keep our bodies functioning well.
It occurs naturally in protein-rich
foods such as meat, poultry, nuts
and beans. But up to 30 per cent of
the phosphorus we consume comes
from food with added phosphate,
including baked goods, processed
meats, canned fish, fish fingers,
instant mashed potato, soft drinks,
baby food – the list goes on.

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READER’S DIGEST

The danger is you could end up Look out for phosphoric acid or
eating too much without realising it. di-, tri- and polyphosphates on food
labels – or E numbers E338 to 341,
What’s more, added phosphates E343, E450 to 452.
are more harmful than those pres-
ent naturally in foods, according to Glutamic Acid and
a 2015 US study. It showed that dairy Glutamates
foods and cereals with added phos-
phates caused bigger spikes in blood Your steaming bowl of canned soup
phosphate levels. High amounts may contain an ingredient that
of phosphates are known to stiffen causes headaches and, more seri-
blood vessels, increasing blood pres- ously, raises blood pressure and in-
sure and potentially causing kidney sulin levels – a risk factor for type 2
failure. diabetes – if you have too much.

Food safety authorities recom- The amino acid known as glutam-
mend a daily intake of phosphorus ic acid or one of its salts, including
for adults in the region of 1000mg a monosodium glutamate (MSG),
day. Two slices of processed cheese is often added to ultra-processed
contain 385mg of phosphate, com- foods to give a savoury or meaty
pared to the 85mg in 50g of cottage taste. MSG is a man-made additive,
cheese. but manufacturers may also add
yeast extract or soy instead, to give
ADDED PHOSPHATES the same result. You’ll find these
added ingredients in packaged
bread, some sauces, processed meat PHOTOS: SHUTTERSTOCK
products, instant noodles, season-
ings and condiments like soy sauce
and stock cubes – and even cakes.

A 2018 study by Italian and Dutch
researchers pointed the finger at
monosodium glutamate as respon-
sible for a variety of other health is-
sues, including changes in the brain
that affect behaviour, promoting
obesit y, liver damage and repro-
ductive problems. The study went
as far as to say that a total ban on
MSG as a flavour enhancer should
be considered.

Look on the label for glutamic

110 august 2020

Watch What You’re Eating

yeast and sodium caseinate are
names of other ingredients that can
contain glutamic acid you should
watch for. Look also for yeast extract
or soya.

So, you might want to think again
if you eat a lot of those tasty shop-
bought soups. Simon Steenson sug-
gests making your own soup instead.
“Try to pack in as many vegetables
as possible and add a can of kidney
or butter beans to boost the fibre
content and make it more filling.”

GLUTAMIC ACID THE TAKEAWAY FROM ALL THIS
& GLUTAMATES
is that eating too many highly pro-
acid, monosodium glutamate, cessed foods is bad for you. I now
disodium or other glutamates, or read labels carefully and am becom-
E numbers 620 to 625. “It’s a matter ing adept at spotting the nasties hid-
of avoiding products with that on the den in them.
label,” says Nina McGrath.
As the experts say, it’s not hard to
Hydrolised protein, autolysed eat a healthy diet and keep un-
healthy foods and additives to a
minimum; you just need to give it a
bit of thought.

Simpler Times

My ten-year-old daughter: Can I go to my friend’s house?
Me: Take your phone and text me every 20 minutes
to tell me you’re OK.

Me, when I was ten: I’m off to the abandoned quarry with my pals.
Mum: Dinner’s at five.

@JOEHEENAN

Me: You can make a wish on any star you like.
Five year old: Which one is the Death Star?

@XPLODINGUNICORN

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You cannot control MY WEAKNESSES
what happens to HAVE ALWAYS
you, but you can BEEN FOOD
control your AND MEN – IN
attitude towards THAT ORDER.
what happens
to you, and in DOLLY PARTON, MUSICIAN
that, you will
be mastering You don’t have to burn books
change rather to destroy a culture. Just get people
than allowing it
to master you. to stop reading them.

BRIAN TR ACY, R AY BR ADBURY, SCIENCE FICTION WRITER

MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER

DON’T JUDGE EACH DAY BY
THE HARVEST YOU REAP BUT
BY THE SEEDS THAT YOU PLANT.

ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON, WRITER

AGE IS NOT Let’s not be PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES
THE ENEMY. narrow, nasty
STAGNATION and negative.
IS THE ENEMY.
COMPLACENCY T. S. ELIOT, POET
IS THE ENEMY.
STASIS IS
THE ENEMY.

TWYL A THARP, DANCER
AND CHOREOGRAPHER

112 august 2020



114 august 2020

PHOTO: © NUR ISMAIL /ROOM RF/GET T Y IMAGES TRAVEL

An end-to-end road trip reveals
the natural wonders of New Zealand

and the generosity of its people

BY Carrie Miller

FROM NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC TRAVELER

Mount Cook on the South
Island is New Zealand’s
highest mountain

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READER’S DIGEST

was expecting to cross paths This culture of looking after one PHOTOS: (MAORI) MIKE POWELL/GET T Y IMAGES, (HOTEL) CHRIS HOWARTH/AL AMY STOCK PHOTO;
with a T. rex at any moment. another came to worldwide atten- (COUPLE) SIMON O'CONNOR/STUFF; (HIKING) MARA BRANDL/IMAGEBROKER/GETTY IMAGES
tion in the aftermath of the March
The rugged west coast of 2019 terrorist attack on two mosques
New Zealand’s South Island in Christchurch on the South Island.
can seem prehistoric like that. The way New Zealanders responded
with a national call of “this isn’t us”
IHalf-walking, half-sliding and an outpouring of messages of
down a narrow trail overhung inclusion was an example of
with trees dripping tangled moss, I manaakitanga in action.
was looking for a man named Merv.
I had started my search in Jack- My road trip was inspired by
son Bay, Southland, a quiet fishing manaakitanga, its itinerary decided
village with a handful of year-round by people I met along the way – their
residents. As I got out of my car, a recommendations, their generosity,
slender, blonde woman on a sunny their good graces – as I travelled on a
verandah asked if I was lost. daisy-chain of friendly gestures.
“I’m looking for Merv?” I said. It
was actually a question. My search for Merv had begun ex-
“He’s up the river whitebaiting,” actly three days and 450 kilometres
she replied. “I’m his wife. I’ll tell you earlier in the lounge of Lands End. I
how to find him.” was drinking a beer with the owner,
This was how I ended up on a mud- Lynda Jackson, her husband, Ross,
dy trail, looking for Merv’s whitebait- and another guest, Gaye Bertacco
ing stand. Whitebaiting stands are from Christchurch. The mood in the
cobbled-together docks reaching out tavern felt both lovely and lonely – fit-
over rivers feeding into the ocean, the ting for a bar at the end of the world.
perfect spots from which to net juve-
nile Galaxiidae, a prized fish delicacy. “I’m here to pick up my partner,
I was on a road trip from the Lands Mark,” Gaye said. “He’s a fisherman,
End hotel, in Bluff, the southern tip and he’s been out at sea for a week.”
of the South Island, to Cape Reinga,
at the top of the North Island. Even As if on cue, Mark Muir walked in
after 15 years of living here, a New the door.
Zealand road trip is my favourite
travel experience. Throughout this A few beers later, Gaye and Mark
land there is a feeling – a warmth, invited me to join them for dinner
a welcoming, a sense of being at Oyster Cove, the restaurant next
looked after. The Ma–ori word for it is door. Over locally sourced spiny rock
manaakitanga. Loosely translated, lobster and muttonbird (a large sea-
it means hospitality. bird that is a traditional Ma–ori food),
we watched the fishing boats return-
ing, their red and green lights wink-
ing in the dark.

116 august 2020

Land of Beauty and Spirit

Clockwise from top: The Land’s End hotel sits at New Zealand’s southern tip;
performing the Haka Pohiri, a Ma–ori welcome dance, on Muriwai Beach on the North

Island; Mount Taranaki, an active volcano, can be found 80 kilometres west
of Whangamomona; Vicki and Richard Pratt welcome visitors
to the ‘republic’ of Whangamomona

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“There are some real characters the side roads and have a look.
on the west coast,” Mark said. “You That’s where you meet the workers.
should look up Merv Velenski in Go and talk to them and you’ll learn
Jackson Bay if you go that way. Merv’s ten times more than you would in
the biggest character of them all. any tourist town. That’s where you
He’s been fishing as long as I’ve been see New Zealand.”
alive. He’d give the shirt off his back
to anyone, and they want to give their Merv and Liz sent me away with a
shirts to him.” friendly wave and two parting gifts:
the phone number of an old army
MUDDY AND MERV-LESS, I returned buddy of Merv’s living in Hokitika,
to Jackson Bay. There wasn’t much and a cooked crayfish wrapped in
to this place but beauty. The beech- a page of the Otago Daily Times for
and rimu-shaded road dead-ended my lunch.
in a settlement with a few houses, an
orange café with a blue roof called I was 1200 kilometres north of
the Cray Pot, and a weathered wharf Jackson Bay, just inland from the
extending into the turquoise sea. It west coast of the North Island,
was a slice of unspoiled paradise. at the Whangamomona Hotel. It’s
perhaps the most remote country
Back on the sun-soaked verandah, hotel in New Zealand, located on the
as I was telling Liz Velenski about my Forgotten World Highway that runs
lack of success tracking him down, between Stratford and Taumarunui.
Merv pulled up in his vehicle. “I’ll get Whangamomona is New Zealand’s
some tea,” Liz said. only republic, having declared its
independence in 1989.
Merv greeted me with a polite re-
serve. I told him Mark Muir sent me. A Wellington-based friend re-
minded me about the Forgotten
“My brother worked for Mark for a World Highway on my way north,
long time,” Merv said. “Mark’s got a and I found myself at the Whanga-
well-built boat.” momona Hotel drinking beer from a
borrowed glass.
We talked for an hour. Merv has
done a little bit of everything: an “This is the only watering hole with-
army stint in Malaysia, Borneo and in an hour’s drive, so the locals gath-
Thailand; deer antler velvet harvest- er here,” said Vicki Pratt. She and her
ing; sawmill work; a lifetime of fish- husband, Richard, own the Whanga-
ing; and now stone carving. momona Hotel. Pint glasses hung on
the wall, each bearing a yellow cattle
“We’ve been in Jackson Bay for ear tag with an identifying number. I
more than 40 years,” Merv told me. was drinking from number 13.
“There’s no place I’d rather be. But
people miss it. You gotta get down

118 august 2020

Land of Beauty and Spirit

Visitors enjoy Cathedral Cove during the summer holidays

PHOTO: ULRIKE HAMMERICH/EYEEM/GETTY IMAGES “That’s Pete’s glass. He lives in the They had spent the winter in the
woolshed down the road,” Vicki said. Coromandel Peninsula further
“I don’t think he’ll mind.” north on the North Island and were
now cycling south. “We never would
If someone is trying to reach a local have biked here if someone we met
who doesn’t have a phone, they call hadn’t told us about it. It’s totally re-
the hotel and leave a message with routed us,” Alanah said.
Vicki or Richard. They, in turn, leave
a note in the person’s beer glass. Visitors to Whangamomona have
traditionally been New Zealanders,
As we were chatting, a baby pig but in recent years the area has been
streaked into the bar, racing around attracting more overseas travellers,
the large barrels that double as most of them on day trips to collect
tables. It was followed by a more hes- novelty republic stamps in their
itant lamb named Roast, and two passports.
tired-looking cyclists seeking a hot
meal and a place to pitch a tent. “It would be nice if some of these
international visitors would stay
The pig and Roast were ushered longer,” Vicki said. “The ones that
back outside while I spoke to Jamie do stay have a really good time. We
Lessard and Alanah Correia – 20- look after them. This is a great place
something Canadians who were ten to meet locals.”
months into a planned 15-month trip.

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within three sentences I’ll
know someone they know.
And I like that.”

MY KAYAKING GUIDE, Cait

Disberry, and I realised we

had both lived in Raumati

Beach, a tiny beach town

50 kilometres northwest of

Wellington, New Zealand’s

capital. It’s that ‘three sen-

tences’ connection Vicki

The Pacific Ocean and the Tasman Sea meet talked about.
at Cape Reinga in New Zealand’s far north I was on a kayaking tour

in Hahei, on the Coroman-

Once a bustling frontier outpost del Peninsula. The cycling Cana-

of 300 residents, Whangamomona dians had told me Cathedral Cove

now has “ten or 11 town residents, was a must-visit destination. With

with maybe 120 in the wider area,” its lush landscape, secret coves, and

Richard told me. hot-water beaches, only two and a

A government decision to redraw half hours’ drive from Auckland, the

the local council boundary, which country’s largest city, it is a place that

split the region in half, led to locals makes visitors seriously study prop-

declaring themselves a republic. erty listings. It has about 400  per-

“You can’t just change the boundary manent residents, but that number

and change where people are from,” explodes during the summer. PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK/JUERGEN WALLSTABE

Richard said. “And they didn’t con- Our three-hour kayak tour led us

sult us. Initially it was a gesture, but across the clear, green waters of the

we’ve always taken a little pleasure Whanganui-A-Hei Marine Reserve,

in the rebellion. We’re a stubborn, which has seen a huge increase in

amiable people.” marine life since its establishment

“I think that applies to all New Zea- 28  years ago. Signs were evident

landers,” Vicki added. “We look after everywhere I looked, from the mul-

each other, especially in rural commu- titude of ocean birds on their rock

nities. Manaakitanga is what I grew up perches to the dozen small stingrays

with, even if I didn’t know the name that zoomed around in the aptly

for it. I think it has to do with the fact named Stingray Bay.

that everyone knows each other in Andy Mora, our lead kayak guide,

New Zealand. Guests come in, and pointed to the Mercury Islands in the

120 august 2020

distance. “This area is where Cap- Land of Beauty and Spirit
tain Cook pinpointed the transit of
[the planet] Mercury in New Zea- TRAVEL TIPS
land,” he said.
GETTING AROUND The majority of
I TR AVELLED 600 KILOMETRES New Zealand’s roads are two lanes
and winding. Pulling over to let
north of the Coromandel Peninsula faster drivers pass will endear you to
to Cape Reinga, the northernmost locals. Transfercar (transfercar.
point of New Zealand that’s acces- co.nz) offers great deals for
sible to visitors, and the end point of returning rental cars to their point
my voyage. A short white lighthouse of origin.
crowned a dragon’s-snout stretch of
land marked only by an ancient po- LODGING Ocean views fill
hutukawa tree, as two bodies of water guestroom windows at Lands End
– the Tasman Sea and Pacific Ocean – Boutique Hotel in Bluff,
surged together, creating a white line landsendhotel.co.nz;
in the waves. Whangamomona Hotel is a
boarding house-style hotel that
This place is the landing spot of serves as the community hub of the
Kupe, the extraordinary navigator Republic of Whangamomona,
of Ma–ori legend, who found his way whangamomonahotel.co.nz;
here a thousand years ago from the Tatahi Lodge Beach Resort is a
eastern Pacific. Cape Reinga is also five-minute walk to the white sandy
the place from which a Ma–ori per- beaches for which the Coromandel
son’s spirit departs on its way to the Peninsula is famous, tatahilodge.
next world. co.nz.

When I look back on this road trip DINING Diners at the Oyster Cove
from one end of New Zealand to the Restaurant in Bluff enjoy bay vistas
other, I remember how the ocean be- while feasting on oysters on the half
yond Cape Reinga whispered to me shell, Cloudy Bay clams, and dishes
of the world beyond these islands, such as lamb salad, entrees from
and how that gnarled pohutukawa NZ$22.50; The Cray Pot, the
tree spoke even more loudly of all the waterside food shack in tiny Jackson
reasons I’d made this land my home. Bay, offers crayfish, other seafood
and burgers.
Recently I heard that Merv had
passed away. He was larger than life, INFORMATION Check opening
a person I won’t forget, and the em- times of restaurants, and pricing and
bodiment of manaakitanga. availability of hotels on their
websites, or by contacting Tourism
FROM NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC TRAVELER (JUNE/JULY New Zealand (newzealand.com)
2019), © 2019 BY NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC
readersdigest.com.au 121

READER’S DIGEST

THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS!

BY Rosie Long Decter

GOING NUTS It seemed like noon.” Conti turned himself in
and was released on bail later the
the animal kingdom had it in for same day – with enough time left
Pittsburgh’s Chris and Holly Persic. to go trick-or-treating.
An hour after Chris’s vehicle broke
down last year, his wife called to ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL They
report a burning smell coming
from her own car’s engine. When say you need to make a strong first
she popped the hood, she found impression during a job interview.
it filled with about 200 walnuts. A teenager applying at a Subway
An enterprising neighbourhood restaurant in Oregon did just that
squirrel squad had been storing nuts when his mother literally crashed
for the winter. They had chewed his interview. While her son was
through a wire in Chris’s 4WD for inside talking to the manager, the
good measure. While Chris repaired mother dozed off in her car – and
his wire, Holly got to temporarily accidentally hit the accelerator,
enjoy the scent of roasting nuts. sending the car through the
establishment’s window.
IN DEEP WATER When police
The crash happened just metres
posted a photo of 26-year-old from where the interview was
Brandon Conti – wanted for drink taking place. Thankfully there were
driving – on their Facebook page no injuries – except maybe to the
the day before Halloween, they were poor kid’s job prospects.
hoping for tips on his whereabouts.
Instead, the sheriff’s office in
Kankakee, Illinois, got a comment
from Conti himself: “Appalled!” he
wrote. “Where’s my costume?”

Police responded by editing a
sailor suit onto Conti’s mugshot,
complete with a cap that read AHOY.
“That’s awesome,” Conti commented
the next day. “I’ll be there before

122 august 2020

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124 august 2020

BONUS READ

MY

Mysteries swirled about my grandfather,

FA M I LY ’ S

but no one would talk to me about him honestly.

SECRET

Finally, I decided to find the answers on my own

PAST

BY Julie Lindahl

FROM THE BOOK THE PENDULUM

readersdigest.com.au 125

READER’S DIGEST

B erlin, 2010. The cold rain hung heavy in
the air as I made my way down a wide empty
street on the southern outskirts of Berlin.
I had just one day to spend at the German
Federal Archives. As I stopped to read the

street sign, my troubled heart battled

with my will. Wasn’t this a betrayal of the family?

After months of struggling with the idea, I had decided

that I must learn about Opa, my mother’s father. As none

of my family would ever be willing or able to tell me the

whole truth, I had to find it myself.

I approached the front desk. “I am I’ll have them copied and sent to you. PHOTO ILLUSTRATION, PREVIOUS SPREAD: (INSET) COURTESY OF THE US
looking for information about a par- There are about 100 pages.” HOLOCAUST MUSEUM; (BACKGROUND ROOM PICTURE) BRIAN BUJALSKI/SHUTTERSTOCK
ticular person,” I said.
Oma? Why would my grandmother
A fresh-faced young man asked, be in these papers?
“You want to know about a family
member?” I folded my hands to stop them
from shaking. “What does this say
“Yes, my German grandfather,” I about my grandfather? Was he in the
said. “I was born in Brazil, and I be- SS?” The archivist suddenly realised
lieve I was never told the real reasons I didn’t understand the meaning of
for my mother’s family’s presence Ahnenerbe.
there,” I added.
“Yes,” he said. “Ahnenerbe was an
“I understand,” he said, the sharp organisational part of the SS.”
blue outlines of his irises softening.
As I walked out, I imagined open-
He took the slip I had scribbled on, ing the documents and finding they
stood up energetically, and typed my were not about my grandparents. But
grandfather’s name into the search in my heart I knew it was true. These
engine of the workstation behind people were my very own.
him. “There is only one record in
our archives under that name,” he A TROUBLING SILENCE
said. “They are Ahnenerbe and other
papers. Most likely they contain infor- I knew Opa only through a few pho-
mation about your grandmother, too. tographs. He remained in Brazil, a
world we left behind when I was three
The author has omitted surnames and years old. He passed away when I was
other identifying details to respect the nine. I was as unaware of his death
privacy of family members and survivors. as of his life. It wasn’t uncommon
that relatives faded in families. The

126 august 2020

My Family’s Secret Past

difference with Opa was that

his fading was not only total,

it was mandatory.

Father and Mother trans-

planted the family from

one country to the next.

We sailed through them

all on an island of Ger-

man tradition, even though

Father was American. Many

times as a young child I

had visited my grandmoth-

er, Oma, in her apartment

in Baden-Württemberg in Julie Lindahl's grandfather is seen in the dark coat

southwestern Germany. The in the foreground. He joined the SS in 1934

table was always elegantly

set, with a smaller tablecloth over- to mill with life. I could feel there

laid like a diamond on a larger one, was something very personal about

and the gold-rimmed plates framed this event. Opa had been a farmer in

by sterling silver cutlery with a stag occupied Poland during World War II.

engraved into the grip. Mother was born there. What were my

These items were what remained of grandparents doing there? This wasn’t

a turbulent family history that no one their original home.

wished to discuss. Raising it elicited As my studies progressed, a picture I

an angry exchange of words between preferred to deny began to form. Ger-

Oma and her daughters. Mother’s many invaded Poland in September

words were always the sharpest, and 1939, an early phase of the war. What

when she wielded them, everyone if Opa had been one of the invaders?

PHOTO COURTESY OF JULIE LINDAHL fell silent. My American father would During a visit from Father at

intervene by suggesting a stroll in the Oxford that year, I asked him, “What

park. All my sister and I wished to do did Opa do during the war?” Father

was to escape the room. responded abruptly. “You must never

I commenced my master’s degree raise that subject again,” he said. He

in international affairs at Oxford in cast a look of disappointment at me

1990. During my scholarship year in I had never experienced from him

Germany the previous year, the Wall before. My heart plummeted.

had defined my studies. Now it was The last time Father and I saw one

gone. Suddenly, the dormant history another, years later, he had waved

behind the Iron Curtain had begun goodbye and shouted, “Take care of

readersdigest.com.au 127

READER’S DIGEST

my grandchildren.” After his passing, I followed three years later. Through-
fell into depression. Shame wound its out the war, Opa and Oma had re-
tendrils around me and my family. But sided with their family in western
to take care of my children, I had to Poland where they, as members of a
take care of myself, and the only way new elite, spearheaded the creation
to do that was to cut away the tendrils of the Reich’s model blond province,
and go to their roots. the Warthegau.

“Take time to attend to this,” my GRIM HISTORY
husband said. In order to fulfil my
last promise to Father, I would have On a cold, wet evening in December
to break the one I had made to myself 2012, I made my way down the two-
and to him years ago: never to look lane road that once had been the
into the past. main route north out of Hamburg. I
was headed to the inn that Opa and
The documents the archivist sent Oma had settled in with their chil-
me qualified my grandparents for dren some years after the war.
membership in Hitler’s elite. There

I READ TESTIMONIES OF VILLAGERS WHO
REMEMBERED OPA AS A PARANOID TYRANT

WHO KEPT HIS REVOLVER BY HIS SIDE

were birth dates, places of residence, At the reception in the illuminated
and a family tree going back to 1800 castle-like house, I met the mayor,
intended to uphold the illusion of ra- whom I had notified, and Herr Schuh-
cial purity. meister, someone who knew the
family. I recognised the dark beams
In the photographs, Oma smiled at of the restaurant from family pho-
the camera. The earlier photographs tographs. At the table, the engraved
of Opa revealed a defiant young rebel, stag on the silver cutlery gleamed in
in the tailored tweed jacket, jodhpurs the candlelight. I lifted the dessert
and polished high-cut leather boots spoon and examined the engraving.
typical of his Hamburg middle-class It was the same cutlery as Oma’s.
origins. In later photographs, the
lapels of Opa’s jacket were wide and “Is something the matter?” asked
proud, with ample room for the insig- the mayor.
nia of the party and the SS.
“No,” I said. “I recognise this
He had joined the party in 1931; symbol.” This triggered a f lood
membership in the mounted SS of storytelling by the mayor and

128 august 2020

My Family’s Secret Past

Schuhmeister, who revealed

that he had once fallen in

love with one of Opa’s four

daughters.

“The lady of the house

dared not raise her head

and was very quiet,” he said.

“One day the girls told me

they would have to leave.”

The mayor reached for his

portfolio. “I have some docu-

ments that may be of interest

to you,” he said. He placed

the papers on the table. Julie Lindahl, aged two, pictured with her Opa

Back in my hotel room, I (grandfather) in Brazil

opened the folder and read

the testimonies of villagers who re- the pressure from outside the Fed-

membered Opa as a paranoid tyrant eral Republic to bring at least some

who kept his revolver by his side. perpetrators to trial. Eichmann’s

Opa maintained strong connections argument about following orders fell

to his former SS network. On days on deaf ears. Opa must have felt the

when the parking lot was filled with figurative noose tightening.

Mercedes-Benzes and the inn was The next morning, I drove to the

closed to the public for exclusive tiny town that was the site of an

hunting weekends, the locals knew. estate Opa had acquired in 1937.

The townspeople were without Long orderly horse barns flanked a

doubt about Opa’s motives for sud- brick mansion covered in red creep-

denly departing for Brazil in 1960. ing vines. Even in the rain, I could

PHOTO COURTESY OF JULIE LINDAHL By the time Adolf Eichmann was appreciate the grand vision.

captured in May of that year, the un- “At the turn of the century the Kaiser

official amnesty of the 1950s made established a horse-training station

possible by the exigencies of the Cold for the imperial cavalry across the

War was over. While Chancellor Kon- whole area, and this was its centre,”

rad Adenauer’s Christian Democratic the widow who lived there told us.

Union had campaigned on “a quick “Do you know anything about the

and just denazification” (the process pre-war or wartime occupants of this

of removing Nazi ideology and influ- house?” I asked.

ence from public life), a decade later “I don’t know anything about that,”

the government could no longer resist she said.

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READER’S DIGEST

DENIAL

“So, tell us more,” said Oma,

her ancient eyes still spar-

kling with the curiosity of

youth. “What adventures did

you get up to in Hamburg? “

Oma was two years shy

of a century, but her mind

retained its sharpness. She

had endured depression for

many years and continued to

suffer from nightmares and

an uncontrollable blinking A document reflecting the ‘Blood and Land’
condition. My mother’s sister, ideology from the Farmers Association of

Auntie Best, had taken over Pinneberg, where Julie's grandfather joined

as her caregiver. the Nazi Party in December 1931

I presented Oma with a

Christmas arrangement I had pur- the question that the documents had

chased at a handicraft boutique already answered. Acknowledging

near the brick mansion. She read facts must surely be better for all of us.

the label out loud. “Why, your aunt As I sat down across from Oma’s

was born there before the war!” she armchair, she had already launched

exclaimed. into memories of Poland. “We lived a

“Yes, I know,” I said, uncertain as to beautiful life there,” she said. “But we

how I was going to handle this con- had to work to make it so.” Her tone

versation. “I can see why Opa went changed abruptly, and she looked

for that place, with all its past con- sternly at me. “Those lazy Poles had

nections to the Kaiser and his horses. no idea what an honest day’s work was

Opa liked horses, didn’t he?” until we arrived and organised things.” PHOTO: COURTESY OF JULIE LINDAHL

“Horses?” she ridiculed. “We never I found it impossible to simply lis-

had anything to do with horses.” ten and interrupted her monologue.

“But Opa liked riding. You said so “Oma, Opa was in the SS, wasn’t he?”

yourself.” “No, no,” she continued, dismiss-

“You’ve got things very mixed up, ing my suggestion as outlandish.

child,” said Oma, who seemed a long I slumped in my chair. The blow

way away from me. of being lied to was nauseating, and

I rose to make myself useful in the my head was immediately gripped by

kitchen. When Oma called for me to the most painful headache. “Had he

come back, I decided to face her with not done as they told him, they would

130 august 2020

My Family’s Secret Past

have strung him up, you know!” My Poland, provided me with accounts
head nodded unthinkingly. These about my grandfather from the peo-
were not the insane mutterings of an ple to the local courts in 1946.
old lady. Oma had made a desperate
effort to justify a lie. In the reading room, I shook archi-
vist Robert Nowicki’s hand. He ush-
That evening at a local café with ered me to a table and placed three
my beloved Auntie Best, I asked her, sets of bound photocopied docu-
“Who was Opa?” ments on the table.

My aunt continued to stare down- “What do these documents say he
wards, circling her finger around the did?” I asked.
base of her wineglass. “I never had
any problems with him,” she said. Flipping through the pages, Robert
“Although we had to work hard at the replied, “It says he beat people very
inn, we got most things we wanted.” badly, was a terror to the people,
called them pigs and dogs.” He closed
She heaved a sigh, wishing that the the door, leaving me alone with the
mild prelude of what she had to say pages of testimonials in Polish.
didn’t have to be over. Aunt Gise, her
older sister, had always been the last But soon Robert was next to me
to finish up work in the inn at night. again. He patted me on the shoulder
She was pretty – blonde and blue- and led me out of the reading room.
eyed – and so Opa had touched her. For the next half hour in the staff
Besides this, Oma’s life with him had kitchen, Robert listened patiently as
been terrible. He drank and couldn’t the unplanned monologue of why I
keep his hands off other women. was here poured forth.

Auntie Best stopped speaking. It “Families where there is silence
was time to retreat back into the con- and lying are not happy – it was the
fines of the family’s pact. “Now we same thing in the Communist time,”
shouldn’t stir all this up any more,” he said. Robert had a way of putting
she said. things that was refreshingly straight-
forward. “What will you do now?” he
That night, as I lay sleepless, many asked.
things became clear to me. Opa had
taken the violence of war home with “Drive into the countryside tomor-
him and unleashed it on his own row and see whether I can find these
family. How could Oma continue to places,” I said.
live with such a man?
“I could go with you,” Robert of-
POLAND, 2012 fered eagerly.

Two years later, the Institute of The following morning, Robert
National Remembrance in Pozna, forced his tall frame into the pas-
senger seat of the compact rental car
and unfolded a map of west-central

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READER’S DIGEST

Poland. He pointed to a location pleaded with Robert as Kisnewski’s
about an hour east of Pozna, to a great-granddaughter took hold of the
place now called Wilczyn, which the old man’s arms and calmed him.
Nazis had renamed Wolfsbergen.
“We will try to find estates of your I had decided that we should not
grandparents – documents say there continue, but Robert was resolved to
were three in this area – and maybe keep on. “There is at least one more,
some eyewitnesses.” A stone dropped a Mr Januszewski.” His parents had
in my stomach. Would any of them worked on one of my grandfather’s
still be alive? estates, he said.

A few farmhouses, some of them Januszewski, a stocky man in his
derelict, dotted the flat country- 80s, welcomed us into his home,
side. Opa and Oma must have felt at where we sat at a dining table over-
home here, the landscape similar to looking a garden. Robert trans-
their home in Schleswig-Holstein, in lated. “Your grandfather beat him
northern Germany. Robert stopped when he did not take off his hat, but
only with the hands.” Januszewski

I PHONED OMA TO ASK HOW OPA HAD
GOT HOLD OF THE MANSION AND THE HORSE-
TRAINING CENTRE THEY ACQUIRED IN 1937

some of the villagers passing by and pointed above his eye. I looked at
returned with new information about the scar. What hand could deliver
people we could meet. such a blow?

We drove to the home of Kisnewski, “Your grandmother liked her gar-
a 90-year-old man with thick, arthrit- den. Many flowers,” Robert contin-
ic hands. His great-granddaughter re- ued. Opa had beaten the gardener
peated Robert’s words in Kisnewski’s many times. “Blood everywhere.
good ear. Kisnewski’s eyes lit up with He almost died. Farm manager, too,
fear and he shouted Opa’s name, cov- when he tried to protect other work-
ering his head with his arms to pro- ers. Always on white horse watching
tect himself from imaginary blows. and making terror.”
Robert translated. “Some people are
lined up against a wall to be shot… “Not happy man.” Januszewski
they try to escape… he is hiding in a shook his head.
barn watching… he is afraid.”
“He says if you are like your grand-
“We must stop! Stop this!” I mother, you are an angel,” Robert
said. I looked at Januszewski in

132 august 2020

My Family’s Secret Past

disbelief. “She made sure they got had noticed. I rested momentarily in
medicine, treatment after beatings. the image of the deserted child, until
Your grandfather didn’t know.” the brutal perpetrator overtook him
and defied all comprehension.
As we said our farewells, Janusze-
wski clasped my forearms tightly in GRAND AMBITIONS
his hands. “Be happy,” he said. “It
wasn’t your fault.” With each day that passed, the bronze
horse on the mantelpiece at home
So many things suggested that haunted me more. Mother had given
Januszewski was the son of the gar- the statue to me years ago and said
dener. This man who as a child had that she had never liked it. Today as
watched his nearest having the life I observed the horse, I asked myself
beaten out of them with regularity why Opa had joined the mounted SS.
had seen to it that the descendant
of his family’s oppressor could walk I arranged to meet Nele Fahnen-
free. It was the most selfless act I had bruck, an expert on the mounted SS,
ever witnessed. in Hamburg. We planned to visit the
villages where Opa had lived before
UPON MY RETURN HOME from Po- the war and to trace the impact of
land, Opa’s birth certificate waited in joining the SS on his life and family.
the mailbox. In the margin of the first
page was a long paragraph of swirl- As we drove to the first estate Opa
ing script that had been signed off by had taken over at the same time as
a Helené Schachne, a midwife who he joined the SS in 1934, Nele com-
had been present at Opa’s birth. The mented, “Looks like he didn’t lose
infant had been left with her until he time cashing in on his privileges,”
was three years old, when his father she said, with eyebrows raised. Af-
claimed him. filiation with the mounted SS had
accelerated Opa’s class journey from
Opa’s parents came from differ- humble city merchant with a cabbage
ent social classes. Their marriage, patch in the countryside to grand es-
let alone parenthood together, was a tate owner.
violation of social norms. I opened my
albums to a picture of Opa’s mother. “After this he purchased the impe-
Her pleasant face was framed by a rial horse training station you haven’t
dark bob. Leaning towards his mother seen yet,” I explained.
to satisfy the photographer, was Opa.
“He couldn’t tolerate his mother,” The property teemed with eques-
Oma had once said. trians, some of them on horseback
in the riding arenas and others tend-
Suddenly, I thought I understood ing to their horses in the stalls. The
the unhappiness that Januszewski place smacked of order, discipline
and quality.

readersdigest.com.au 133

READER’S DIGEST

“My grandmother said he had Persilscheine – a cynical term for
nothing to do with horses.“ ‘clean’ character endorsements that
referred to the washing detergent
“Your grandmother didn’t tell you Persil.
the truth,” Nele said. “This has al-
ways been horse country. It’s obvious The Allies regarded Opa as an ex-
that your grandfather’s career was tremist who had joined the party be-
given a nice lift by the mounted SS. fore the takeover of power and the SS
in its early days. A lawyer argued he
“Look,” she said, turning to me, had only been interested in the sport;
impatient with my tiptoeing. “The membership in the SS was a coinci-
mounted SS were Himmler’s chosen dence. The eventual classification,
knights who would restore Germany’s as a Lesser Offender, focused on ide-
honour and demonstrate its Aryan su- ological commitment before the war
premacy in the riding competitions of rather than what transpired in the oc-
Europe, and eventually in war. Power cupied territories. In December 1948,
and influence came with the job.” Opa was dismissed with: “exonerated,
no sanctions”.
After I got home, I phoned Oma to
ask how Opa had got hold of the man- DIRTY WAR
sion and the horse-training centre
they acquired in 1937. Flustered by these documents, I
picked up a photograph of Opa as a
“Ach!” she replied dismissively. perky young man next to a wobbly
“They were just a bunch of old heath legged foal. “What happened to you?”
farmers squatting there.” I asked in a shaky whisper. While I
had heard the confessions of eye-
After putting down the receiver, witnesses, I still didn’t have a clear
I looked up the heath farmers and picture of the consequences of Opa’s
learned that they were persecuted engagement in the mounted SS.
as socialists by the regime. Did Oma
know? In the denazification documents,
Opa claimed that he had taken up
I wandered through the house and his assignment in occupied Poland
stopped before the horse on the man- in November 1939, two months af-
telpiece. I longed for it to step out of ter the invasion. This clashed with
its stiff, bronze shell, graze free on Oma’s insistence that he had left in
the grass, and shoo the flies away September.
with a gentle swish of its tail.
I phoned historian Jochen Boehler,
IN 1947, OPA MADE A DECLARATION my expert on the invasion of Poland.
“Some of Hamburg’s best SS riders
to the Allied military administration had been incorporated into policing
of his record in relation to Nazism. It
was full of testimonies to his decent
character and intentions, a so-called

134 august 2020

My Family’s Secret Past

squadrons, which followed

on the heels of the Wehr-

macht to establish so-called

law and order in occupied

Poland,” he said. They were

given instructions by Hitler

to “close hearts to empathy”

and “proceed brutally”.

His voice halted. “The

consequence was that these

men unleashed a war so

dirty that later analysis of

what happened could only

describe it as the decay of One of the grand estates that Julie's Opa
man. These squadrons set presided over during the war

the tone of life in occupied

Poland, and, according to those who sleep. Instead, I heard the agonising

knew them, were themselves never sound of the unmilked cows across

the same again.” the countryside, their owners either

There are records of these men driven away or shot.

who were reassigned to agriculture GERMANY, 2013
directly after the invasion, he said.

“You say that he was eager for land. I visited Oma again. She had looked

Well, this was the fastest way to get the same for a very long time, the

hold of it.” snowy white waves of hair still

“And what if he really did leave in framing a peach-skinned face. Yet

PHOTO COURTESY OF WIKIPEDIA COMMONS November?” I asked. she was over 100 years old, and each

“That’s not a pretty story either,” time I visited her I assumed would

said Jochen. Estates and farms were be the last.

raided in the early hours. The inhab- Over the past two days, we had

itants had minutes to pack up, if they continued to find other subjects of

had not already fled into the freezing discussion over Auntie Best’s meals.

forests. If they attempted to return, In the middle of the table was a black

they were usually shot. Homes were hole of suspicion that none of us was

stolen, people hounded and chased, prepared to name. I realised the time

and the remaining labourers beaten for charmed conversation with Oma

into submission, all from the back of was running out.

a horse. If I told Oma what I knew would it

I went to bed but found no peace in bring her more or fewer nightmares?

readersdigest.com.au 135

READER’S DIGEST

The last thing I wanted was for her to “It is time for us to acknowledge
return to the depression, and to ruin the truth between us without blam-
Auntie Best’s good work. As I lay in ing anyone, which is that Opa was an
bed in my hotel room that night, I avid National Socialist and a fanati-
determined that I would leave an cal SS man.”
old woman in peace. Yet with her
nightmares, blinking and depres- Not a window had been opened,
sion, Oma appeared never to have but the air in the room was sudden-
found any peace. ly cooler. Oma’s hands retreated to
her lap, and she straightened her
My husband called. “I can’t sleep,” posture. “That is correct,” she said.
he said. “He looked very smart in his uni-
form, too. They were beautiful men.
“I can’t, either,” I admitted. What people said about them is
“ You must tell her,” he said, quite wrong. They were the best sort.
sounding quite certain. “If you don’t, People didn’t have as bad a time in
you will never forgive yourself. You the labour camps as was said. That
cannot play the same game of lying was just Jewish propaganda!”
if you are to have any self-respect.”

“WE JUST DID THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE,”
OMA SAID. I NEVER FELT AS DISTANT FROM

HER AS WHEN SHE UTTERED THAT “WE”

I knew exactly what he meant. I envisioned myself scratching at
All along I had pursued a story that a thin layer of dust on impenetrable
I didn’t feel I had the right to. Fear ground. There had to be more. The
of facing the family and of breaking remorse would surely come.
their taboo would continue unless I
told them the truth. Auntie Best was speechless, but
what could she say? She had been a
After another lunch prepared by small child during the war, after which
Auntie Best, I moved to sit on the a blanket of silence had been cast over
footstool in front of Oma. I took the crimes of her parents. In that mo-
her hand into mine and said a little ment I saw what had happened in our
prayer to myself. “Blame must not en- family: shame had been left to the
ter this space.” I repeated in my heart. next generations. Those responsible
Sensing that something important had shunned responsibility, and the
was about to happen, Auntie Best sat unrecognised victims were their
down in one of the armchairs. children.

136 august 2020

My Family’s Secret Past

“So, are they coming to get me?” into mine and stroked them with the
said Oma, looking defiant and terri- deep pity I felt for this woman who
fied all at the same time. The pathos could not be honest with herself.
in these words moved me to calm her
and I shook my head. “No,” I reas- “Goodbye, Oma,” I said, kissing her
sured her. “In fact, a young boy whom forehead.
Opa hurt remembered you as an an-
gel because you called the doctor.” RETURN TO POLAND

She cut me off. “That is ridiculous!” By now, I had visited every estate but
Although her husband was long dead, one that Opa had taken over since
the instinct to defend him was very 1934. The last place my grandfather
much alive. I suspected she was still and his family had lived in during
afraid of him, like a ghost that would the war was a baroque-style palace
never leave her. in Siemianice, or Schemmingen in
Opa’s day, in southwestern Poland.
“He didn’t kill anyone!” she insist- Each had been grand, but this one
ed. “I was with him all the time. He was beyond my wildest imagination.
only beat them,” she said, regaining It was as though he had aspired to
her composure. “We just did the same become the Kaiser himself. Today the
as everyone else.” My head drooped. building is a forestry institute.
I had never felt as distant from her as
when she uttered that “we”. A man in his early 30s called
Tomek, accompanied by his father,
Oma spoke incessantly for two shook my hand heartily. “My grand-
hours. Many stories were recycled. father was deported by the SS from
The flight to Brazil still had nothing here to a labour camp,” he said. “We
to do with the war. Scraps of informa- had to work hard to get this land
tion were tossed out that contradict- back, but it is ours now.”
ed other scraps. “I was in the NSV,”
she said proudly of her affiliation Tomek and his father drove Robert
with the National Socialist welfare and me around the estate. In a vast
agency. This organisation had busied stretch of farmland a statue of the
itself with spreading the corrupt idea Madonna stood, a replica; Tomek
of Aryan superiority and redistribut- said my grandfather struck down
ing the belongings of people who had the original. I was ashamed to be so
been sent to the ghettos and the gas closely related to a person who would
chambers “to support the war effort”. do such a thing.

It was time to go. Realising that we He also told us that nearby was an
would never reach that common rec- unwed mothers’ home, supported
ognition and feeling of responsibility by the local NSV, women like Oma.
I had hoped for, I took her hands back It was believed there were Jewish
girls held there, and the children

readersdigest.com.au 137

READER’S DIGEST

born to them were struck from the his head,” said Matysiak. I pictured
birth register. The rape of Jewish my mother’s frightened eyes peeping
girls had become a standard weap- out of the hay next to her older sib-
on of the SS’s dirty war in the East. lings. What had this three year old
But fraternising with Jewish women been told by her mother, now preg-
was illegal. Had the mothers’ home nant with a brother or sister?
been used to cover up a problem or
to run racial experiments? It was “We remember his wife well,” he
impossible to digest the monstros- had said, referring to Oma. “She
ity of it. wore the NSV pin daily and was
proud of it.”
Back in the driveway, the director
of the forestry institute handed us a Images of Oma passed before me
slip, “You must visit this man. He has like pieces of a torn canvas. To the
written about your grandfather.” young Januszewski she had been
the angel who had called for medi-
AS WE ENTERED the apartment, cal help. There was the image of the
Matysiak and his wife stared at me in stalwart NSV leader, working for
wonderment. Matysiak had survived ‘maternal health’ in her area. There
Opa’s fiefdom as a boy. We sat down was the pregnant woman surround-
at a table laden with fine porcelain, ed by her four children on a freezing
tea and biscuits. night in a hay-laden carriage. And
there were the delicate hands that
“He was an unhappy man,” Matysi- stroked mine with gentleness.
ak said. This is what so many remem-
bered about Opa. “QUIET IS THE BEST”

“He had a temper like spitfire,” he Back home, photocopied documents
explained. “His wife and children had arrived in the mail from an
just cowered around him.” archive in Ludwigsburg. According
to an interpreter for the Gestapo,
According to Matysiak, towards Opa had collaborated in “eradica-
the end, Opa turned his attention to tions” of unarmed locals in a forest-
escaping the enemy from the East. “It ed area near Wilczyn known as the
was the 18th of January, 1945. There site of night-time executions by the
were many convoys passing through SS and local Gestapo.
our town on the same route back into
the Old Reich. I will never forget the With a heavy heart, I called Oma.
mothers holding their infants, who “I must say, you went ver y hard
had frozen to death. at me,” she said angrily, leaving
no time for offloading sadness. “I
“Your grandfather led his hay-lad- haven’t been able to sleep.” Her
en carriages out a different route to complaint was like sandpaper that
avoid the partisans. They were after

138 august 2020

My Family’s Secret Past

scratched open my guilt wound, so discoveries. By breaking an old fam-
I listened. ily taboo, healing had begun.

“You should let him and this his- My ears had ceased to hear the
tory rest in peace. You know nothing echo of Oma’s hard words. Now all I
about that time. It doesn’t belong to knew was that a life that had survived
you!” a terrible century and was closely
tied to mine would soon end. The
The ensuing conversation turned prospect of her loss and the knowl-
ugly as fragments of the old NSV edge of her tragedy left a gaping hole
volunteer’s memory were tossed out in my heart.
into open view. “Your marriage has
brought genetic uncertainties into At Oma’s grave, I felt an odd sense
our family. I am sure your daugh- of neutrality about the way my re-
ter is already ripe for marriage.” My lationship with her had ended. My
husband had three disabled siblings husband had been right to advise me
who had died young. My daugh- to face her with what I knew.
ter was only 14. Whatever did she
mean? THE SPRING RAIN had begun to fall
outside the window to my study. I
“All it takes is one kiss and there found solace in observing the wood-
will be children,” Oma said. en statue of an angel I had placed on
a pedestal in our backyard after I had
In that moment it seemed to me learned of the Madonna in the field
that the vulgarity at the core of his- that Opa had struck down.
tory’s unprecedented racial experi-
ment was laid bare. Oma had gone As the water gathered in her
to a wilderness with a man she cupped hands, I imagined that she
feared because she too had partic- had the choice of how to hold it:
ipated in that experiment and felt with awareness and reverence, or
the need to hide. with fear and indignation. The for-
mer was much more difficult, be-
“I have to go now, Oma,” I said, try- cause it demanded self-respect to
ing not to fall apart. acknowledge kindnesses and admit
one’s own injustices, and the inclu-
She made sure she had the last sion of all life. The rain intensified,
word. “Remember that quiet is the insisting that we must never stop
best.” trying.

IN 2014, the news came that Oma THE PENDULUM: A GRANDDAUGHTER’S SEARCH
was dying. She was two months shy FOR HER FAMILY’S FORBIDDEN NAZI PAST BY JULIE
of 103. During the year since we had LINDAHL, © 2019 BY THE ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD
last spoken something had shifted PUBLISHING COMPANY, INC.
inside me.

I had talked publicly of my

readersdigest.com.au 139

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Chasing Charlie Wind of Change Seconds to
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HOW TO GET PODCASTS To listen on the web: Google the website for ‘Chasing
Charlie’, for example, and click on the play button. To download: Download an app
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Puzzle Answers 1 TO 25 SUDOKU
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146 august 2020