Readers Digest_AUSTRALIA April2020

Adult Autism: Hidden In Plain Sight

Autism-friendly day interviews or why they are accused
for shopping centres? of failing to express their emotions or
understand jokes,” Dr Mirkovic says.
Kathrine Peereboom, founder and “This is an essential step towards im-
CEO of not-for-profit Spectrum proved wellbeing.”
Support, is a proud mother of three
boys. All are non-verbal and are on Street’s belated diagnosis provid-
the spectrum, ranging from ed a much-needed explanation of
high needs to high functioning. As his youth. “When I was diagnosed,
such, she has a good understanding I started crying happy tears,” Street
of the highs and lows of living with says. “It made me realise that none of
autism on a daily basis and is calling it was my fault.”
on shopping centres across Australia
to make one day a week an autism- SOCIAL SUPPORT
friendly, sensory day.
When children are diagnosed with
“People with autism and other autism, they may receive social sup-
disabilities find loud and chaotic port to help them fit into society more
environments extremely readily. Similar services may not al-
intimidating,” says Peereboom. ways be available to help newly diag-
“A sensory day would not just benefit nosed adults.
people with autism, but a whole
range of conditions in which sensory “What follows the diagnosis is very
overload is a problem,” such as variable depending on the impact
ADHD, Asperger’s, epilepsy and the disorder has,” Dr Mirkovic says.
schizophrenia. “When you add “Some will need to undertake behav-
them all up, it’s a significant portion ioural psychotherapy to help them
of the population that could benefit,” find compensation strategies, while
she says. others will need to work on social
skills or on a career reorientation.”
It wouldn’t be difficult or
inconvenient for major shopping Some people are set in their ways,
centres to agree to adopting a sensory content with the lives that they have.
day either. Peereboom is simply
asking shopping centres to dim the Bervoets and his wife accept that
the condition is, and always was, a
lights, turn the music down, and part of their lives. “I’m a philosopher
organise store events on another now,” Bervoets says. “I’m an engi-
day. “It’s a small price to pay for neer. I’m a father. I’m a good hus-
band, I think. I’m a lot of things. I’m
what would help a lot of people. also autistic, and I’m proud to be
We thought Tuesday would be autistic. But focusing only on autism
a good day because it is not diminishes the horizon you have on
typically a shop’s busiest the world.”
trading day.” Diane Godley
49

READER’S DIGEST

LIFE’S LIKE THAT

Seeing the Funny Side

Cracking a Cold One they would ever share: a six-pack CARTOON: MIKE SHELL
of beer dangled from the end of his
Many years ago, my husband and line – five cans of which were still
dad were fishing in a river while drinkable! SUBMITTED BY JUDITH SPINDA
shooting the breeze and drinking
beer. My husband was about to go on Losing It
a beer run when he noticed a fish in
the water below him. On his second I was catching up with my mother
cast, he snagged and reeled in what on the phone the other day, and I
turned out to be the best fishing story told her I’d lost a lot of weight.

50 april 2020

I don’t think she was paying very THE GREAT TWEET OFF:
much attention to our conversation EASTER EGG EDITION
because she asked me, “Have you
tried retracing your steps yet?” Sweet tweets from the
chocolate-lovers of Twitter.
SUBMITTED BY KAYLA JORDAN
EASTER TIP: Tell your kids you hid
Fast Fashion an egg with $50 in it in the backyard

Me: I am competent and capable but you don’t remember where.
of planning things in advance. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.
Also me: Maybe I can buy something
at the train station that will be @CHEESEBOY22
appropriate to wear to this wedding.
CHILD: “Dad, the Easter Bunny
ALEXANDRA PETRI, JOURNALIST should know that I don’t like
Rolos but he puts them in my
Grounds for Complaint basket every year.”

A DIY expert on one of those home ME: (eating a Rolo)
improvement TV shows suggested Yeah, that’s weird.
putting coffee granules into pale
beige paint to give it a ‘kick’. @SIMONCHOLLAND

My bathroom wall looked great, Nephew just whispered something
but for weeks afterward, whenever into a Cadbury Easter Bunny’s ears,
we took a shower, the steam caused
thick black coffee to run down the then broke off its head.
walls to the floor. I’m sleeping with the lights on.

SUBMITTED BY GLORIA LEWIS @WOODYLUVSCOFFEE

In the Way No, sweetie, you can’t have your
giant chocolate bunny for breakfast,
My husband’s favourite place to that’s not healthy and also Mummy
stand is right in front of whatever
cupboard I need. @SIXFOOTCANDY ate it for dinner last night.

SHRINKAGE @LU R K AT H O M E M O M

My girlfriend has started My eight year old said that he
calling my hair ‘the economy’ hopes the Easter Egg Hunt is more
because it’s begun showing
strong signs of a recession. of a challenge this year so I’m
buying a bunch of mouse traps.
@REALHAMONWRY
@BRIANHOPECOMEDY

I don’t like who I become when
Easter chocolate is 75% off.

@THECATWHISPRER

51

READER’S DIGEST

I Am the In the 16th century, a harebrained PHOTO: SPAXIAX/SHUTTERSTOCK
health theory circulated widely
FOOD among doctors in Europe: foods
ON YOUR that resembled body parts, they be-
PLATE lieved, were especially beneficial
for the health of those parts. A fire-
I Am fly for night vision, red coral to help
Walnuts ... with your blood, and little old me for
A Great Food the most important organ of all, the
powerful human brain.
for Thought
It’s true that even the most un-
BY Kate Lowenstein observant of humans couldn’t
AND Daniel Gritzer
miss the resemblance, with my
52 april 2020 meaty folded hemispheres
tucked into a protective,
skull-like shell. And in the
end, misguided as their
theory proved to be, those
scientists got lucky about
me. My plentiful poly-
and monounsaturated fats,
along with my enviably high
level of omega-3s (I’m the only

nut with significant amounts of
them), really are essential for cog-
nitive health.
For the record, I’m also a star when
it comes to your digestion, given that
I’m high in fibre. But humans fell in
love with me before science gave me
such serious health-food cred. My
sweet, quintessentially nutty fla-
vour and delicate texture long ago
found me a place among your most
delicious comfort foods, dotting your
biscuits and cakes, strewn atop sun-
daes, nestled in brittle or chocolate,
and toasted in butter and coated with
sugar and spices. I’m no stranger to

savoury indulgences, either, whether If you pick my fruit early, before

puréed into soups and pestos or sprin- the pit has fully hardened, you can

kled on fresh salads. My light, buttery do rather unexpected things. In Brit-

crunch (which is all the more delight- ain they pickle me, brining me whole

ful if you toast me until I’m fragrant) in salt water and preserving me in a

allows me to add just enough texture brown-sugar-and-spice syrup. With

to a dish to make it interesting without that I become delicate and soft; you

creating a strain on your jaw. You can’t can slice clean through me and see

say that about almonds! the seed, the proto-shell, and the rim

Speaking of my more popular of fruit flesh. But what’s really fasci-

(but some might say less fabulous) nating is the colour of a pickled wal-

colleague, you may be interested to nut: black. That’s because my clear,

know that neither of us are botanical- milky juice turns dark when it’s ex-

ly nuts at all – nor are “I’M ALSO A posed to air.
pistachios or cashews, STAR WHEN IT Young walnut fruit
for that matter. A nut
provide that same

features a seed sealed COMES TO YOUR inky colour to nocino,
inside a hard outer DIGESTION, GIVEN the Italian after-din-
shell with no flesh ner drink made by
on the outside. Think THAT I’M HIGH macerating me in

acorns, chestnuts and IN FIBRE” high-proof liquor with
hazelnuts. sugar and spices. In

However, if you were ancient Rome they

to pick me off the tree instead of off would combine my tinted sap with

the store shelf, you’d see I am the pit leeches, ashes and charred things

inside the green, fleshy layer of my to make dark hair dye. My juice was

fruit. And the soft stuff you eat is actu- also used to make walnut ink, which

ally the seed inside that pit. If you’ve Rembrandt, Leonardo and Rubens

ever cracked open a peach pit and are said to have used for some of their

found an almond-shaped seed inside, sketches.

you’ll know what I’m getting at. The Encyclopedia of Hair will tell

As tough as my shell can get, deli- you that in 17th-century England,

cate oils found within the lobes can the oil expressed from my seed was

go rancid fairly easily. If I’m bitter used as a depilatory, thinning the

or lingeringly musty, then we’d best eyebrows and hairlines of women

go our separate ways. If you’re not when that look was in fashion. Now,

going to eat me right away, put me in inexplicably, walnut oil is touted

the fridge or even in the freezer in a as a baldness cure. Suffice it to say

well-sealed, airtight bag. you might be better off not using

53

READER’S DIGEST

me for hair-related purposes. But SPICED PHOTO: MATTHEW COHEN
you humans have found countless WALNUTS
other applications for me, including
employing my shells as an abrasive In a small bowl,
cleaning agent, used to this day. stir together
This was not always a good idea: in ½ cup sugar,
1982, a US Army Chinook helicopter 2 teaspoons
crashed because of gritty wal- coarse salt,
nut-shell residue that had blocked ¾ teaspoon ground cinnamon,
the oil jets lubricating the copter’s ⅛ teaspoon ground ginger,
transmission. and one large pinch each of freshly
grated nutmeg and ground cloves.
My favourite inedible function, In a separate medium bowl, whisk
though, is as an investment vehicle 1 large egg white until lightly
and status symbol. The Chinese foamy. Whisk in dry ingredients
regard the finest examples of me the along with ½ teaspoon vanilla
way you might regard jewels or fan- extract until a smooth batter forms.
cy pottery. I can fetch wild sums of Using a rubber spatula, fold in
money in Asia, where swirling a pair 4 cups shelled walnut halves (about
of me in your palm is said to stimu- 500 grams) until evenly coated.
late blood circulation. Matching Spread glazed walnuts in a single
sets can go for more than $30,000 – even layer on a tray lined with
the larger, older and of better shape baking paper and bake at 150°C
I am, the more I’m worth. Think of until nuts are lightly toasted,
that the next time you pop a handful around 25 minutes. Let cool,
of me into your mouth as a snack. stirring occasionally to prevent
sticking. Break up any remaining
Kate Lowenstein is a health editor clumps, then serve.

currently at Vice; Daniel Gritzer is

the culinary director of the cooking

site Serious Eats.

Outfoxed!

The UK Parliament witnessed a scene of even more cunning
than usual in February after a fox snuck past high-vis-clad police
officers. The crafty critter climbed an escalator onto the fourth
floor of Portcullis House where MPs’ offices are located, before it

was eventually caught and removed in a box. SKY NEWS

54 april 2020

THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS!

BY Nathaniel Basen

ILLUSTRATION: PIERRE LORANGER WHAT A STEAL In July 2018, Theories abounded, from a prank to
a sinister animal-poisoning ploy. The
three men entered the San Antonio dish had been served in the school
aquarium in Texas with a baby cafeteria the previous day, but it
stroller. They left with a new didn’t look quite the same – Lewis’s
passenger: a 40-centimetre horn gift more closely resembled potato
shark named Miss Helen. The salad. Lewis has accepted a simple
men, led by 38-year-old Anthony answer: “Weird things happen here,”
Shannon, walked towards a pond she says. No need, it seems, to hash
before scooping up the animal it out further.
and placing it into the stroller.
Police used security footage to CRIME SUCKS A man was house-
trace their car, catching up soon
after at a house. That’s where they sitting for his nephew when he
found Miss Helen swimming in a heard troubling noises coming
professional-level aquarium. The from the bathroom. He called
shark is valuable, but it appears emergency and three police officers,
Shannon was simply an avid a detective and two canine officers
collector. He was charged with were dispatched to the house near
felony theft. Portland, Oregon. The officers
approached, rifles ready, and
TUBER TRANSGRESSIONS announced their presence. To their

Jordan Lewis of Jackson, Mississippi, surprise, they didn’t find a
woke up on an April morning, lurking criminal. Instead,
walked to her car and found a the home’s robotic
surprise: a styrofoam bowl vacuum had become
on top of its roof. Inside,
a helping of creamy confused and was
potatoes. She posted banging itself against
her tale to social the wall. Everyone
media, and about there was relieved,
a dozen strangers if a little embarrassed.
mentioned they’d also The upside: the
received surprise spuds. bathroom tiles

were spotless.

55

METRONOM

The People You Meet on

56 April 2020

ART OF LIVING

ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES Train travel can be
strange: it’s a hotbed of
ICS personality types you

the Train get to rub shoulders
with on a daily basis.

BY Vanya Lochan

I f you’re like me, whose life moves
along the wheels of a train or
metro-line, you would know the
reason why I’m telling you this.
Travelling by train is easy on the
pocket, usually saves you the trouble
of being stuck in traffic, and if you
are a people-watcher (or even if you
aren’t), you are bound to run into all
kinds of personality types.

W hile it’s usually t he seat-of-
fering-good-Samaritan I hope to
encounter, the co-travellers I prefer
not to meet I’ve curated into a list
after 1280 days and 1500 hours of
travelling to work by rail.

Read this and spot them on your
next ride, dear commuter, and make
a mundane trip a lot more fun by

57

READER’S DIGEST

play ing ‘met ronomics’. Because for senior co-passengers, pregnant
sometimes you just have to see the gentlewomen, or those with weary
humour in it all. shoulders, tired eyes, heavy-looking
baggage, or maybe a child and, smil-
1 The Opportunist ing, offer their laboriously acquired
seat to them.
Equipped with the keenest set of eyes
and the sprightliest set of Hermes’s 4 The Elbow Charger
sandals (no, not the brand, I mean
the winged sandals that flew the Beware of these people! All eyes on
Greek god as swiftly as a bird), the the door, they strategically stand in
opportunist can make even the most the centre of the train to land the first
athletic sprinter nervous. Standing empty seat. Blinkers on, they clutch
slyly in the corner, they have their their handbags or fold their arms
eyes everywhere – closing of books, in a perpendicular fashion, literal-
dismembering of earphones, lock- ly elbowing their way into the train
ing and putting away of phones and onto the nearest seat. The trick
– they are watching and listening. in avoiding them is to spot them on
And in the blink of an eye, they are the platform before the train arrives
found victoriously perched upon the and secure your place exactly behind
just-vacated seat. them – never ahead, and definitely
never on the side.
2 The DJ/Soloist
5 The Loudspeaker
I mean, who doesn’t want to listen to
other people’s music, right? Howev- If you are into eavesdropping, the
er, what’s more interesting than lis- animated commuters attached to
tening to other’s music is listening to their phones could be your pals.
them crooning along while they are However, if you don’t want to know
lost in the sound of the music on their why x-friend has been stealing their
earphones. Writer’s advice: run! university notes, or how y-friend will
not be able to meet them because he
S3amThaeritSaenat-Offering- got sick after a night out, once again:
scram!
The train can seem nothing less than
a jungle – people hunching hungri- 6 The Video Freeloader
ly for the next empty seat or staring
endlessly, as if gauging the degree of If you are not new to having people
threat you might pose, but that does watch your Netflix program over your
not mean that kindness is dead. Big shoulder, you may be tolerant of this
love to people who actually look out one. Imagine this – you are watch-
ing the latest episode of Brooklyn

58 April 2020

Metronomics

Nine-Nine and suddenly you hear a The Opportunist to grab a similar op-
sigh followed by a ‘wow!’ Who could portunity, but just as you were about
that be? You check your earphones; to lay your glorious hindquarters
snugly plugged in. You look left; nah, onto the seat, you were blocked by
she is busy texting. You look right; bin- someone prohibiting you from sitting
go! A curious set of eyes are glued to because they were saving that seat for
your phone/tablet reading the subti- their friend?
tles and laughing along! What to do,
you ask? Try sharing a few giggles and Beware, The Prohibitor is the
tell us how that went. crusher of your derriere dreams.
She/he is hard to identify if you are
7 The Prohibitor not paying close attention. How do
you spot them? Notice two or three
Have you ever strategically planned passengers close together giggling,
your entry so that you managed to chatting or just nodding at each oth-
nudge The Elbow Charger, stepped er and KNOW that they are going to
away from the Loudspeaker, followed want to sit together.

Quite a Mouthful

An American dentist who holds the Guinness World Record for
the largest collection of toothpaste tubes has announced his
collection has grown to about 3000 tubes. Dr Val Kolpakov of
Peach State Dentistry in Alpharetta, Georgia, said his toothpaste
collection began when he was trying for a very different Guinness
record – the largest collection of pulled teeth. “When I started my
dental career, I was pulling hundreds of teeth, then I remembered
there was a Guinness record for number of teeth pulled,” he told
the media. Kolapakov said he still has his collection of hundreds
of extracted teeth, but he ended up finding information on
toothpaste collecting instead and decided to change his focus.
He was first awarded the record in 2012, when his collection
stood at 2037 different tubes. “My patients are pretty excited

when I show them some unusual flavours that I have,”
he says. “And if they travel to certain countries, they bring

me toothpaste from there.” UPI

When my kids assure me they will clean up their mess, I know how
my dentist must feel when I assure him I will floss. @PARENTNORMAL

59

READER’S DIGEST

60 April 2020

SEE THE WORLD...
Turn the page ››
61

READER’S DIGEST

...DIFFERENTLY

As if Paris, France, wasn’t
vibrant enough already,
over several months of 2019
Rue Crémieux in the Le Village
Royal open-air shopping
passage was brought to life
with a stunning art installation
consisting of 800 colourful

suspended umbrellas.
Entitled ‘Umbrella Sky
Project’, it was born in

Portugal in 2011 by
Portuguese artist Patricia
Cunha, where it first appeared
as part of the famous annual
Agitagueda Art Festival.
Since then, the project has
brightened the streets of
several cities around the
world, including Tokyo and
Seoul. A stunning colourful
display that also protects
pedestrians from the sun and

rain? That’s our kind
of artwork!

PHOTOS: CHESNOT/GE T T Y IM AGES

62 april 2020

63

READER’S DIGEST

LAUGHTER

The Best Medicine

“The WiFi password is:
‘buysomethingorgetout’.”

Choose Wisely and sold it for ten cents. The next day

GENIE: What is your first wish? I bought two apples, polished them,
JOE: I want to be rich.
GENIE: Granted. And what is your and sold them for ten cents each.”
second wish?
RICH: I want lots of money. @fro_vo “I see,” said the junior executive.

Bite of the Apple “You reinvested your money and

The CEO of a large corporation was grew a big business.” CARTOON: MIKE SHAPIRO
giving advice to a junior executive. “I
was young, married and out of work,” “No,” said the CEO.
he lectured. “I took the last five cents I
had and bought an apple. I polished it “Then my wife’s father died and

left me a fortune.” jewel993.com

Never Say Never

Never answer an anonymous letter.

YOGI BERRA, BASEBALL PLAYER

64 april 2020

Finding the Right Fit Laughter

A husband and wife who own a BEST BEFORE

circus walk into an adoption agency After a man spent a year eating
foods past their expiration
looking to adopt a child. dates – including mouldy butter
– to prove that those dates are
“Are you sure the circus is the best arbitrary, The Week asked its
readers to think of titles for an
place for a child?” asks the social outdated-foods cookbook.

worker. “I mean, all those dangerous Here are the most appetising:

animals, the constant travelling ...” Green Eggs and
Ham and Cheese
“The animals are trained,” says
and Salami
the wife. “And we have a state-of- Eat. Pray. Live?
Pasta Its Prima
the-art 16-metre motorhome that is
Gone Appétit
equipped with a large nursery.” Mouldies but Goodies

“How will you educate your Baking Bad
Better Ate Than Never
child?”
The Stale-eo Diet
“We’ve arranged for a full-

time tutor to teach all the regular

subjects, as well as Mandarin and

computer programming,” explains

the husband.

“And the nanny is certified in

paediatric care, child welfare and

nutrition,” the wife adds.

The social worker is impressed.

“Well, you do seem perfect. What

age were you looking to adopt?”

The husband says, “It doesn’t

really matter, as long as they fit

in the cannon.” Planet Proctor

BUNNY FUN

Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he’s an egghead.
Q: Why couldn’t the rabbit fly home for Easter?
A: He didn’t have the hare fare.

65

HEALTH

8
Truths
ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES
About How We Burn

Kilojoules
A key element in weight management is
understanding your metabolism – the body’s way
of getting the energy it needs from food

BY Julia Belluz F R O M VOX

66 April 2020

67

READER’S DIGEST part of your total energy expenditure –
about ten to 30 per cent (unless you’re
1YOUR METABOLISM a professional athlete or have a highly
IS IN EVERY CELL IN physically demanding job). Digesting
YOUR BODY food accounts for about ten per cent.
“It’s generally accepted that for most
A lot of people talk about their metab- people, the basal metabolic rate ac-
olism as if it’s a muscle or organ they counts for 60 to 80 per cent of total en-
can somehow control. But in reality, ergy expenditure,” says neuroscientist
the term refers to a series of chemical and obesity researcher Alexxai Kravitz.
processes in each cell that turn the
kilojoules you eat into fuel to keep “This is why it’s not so surprising
you alive. “It’s the culmination of that exercise leads to [statistically]
different tissues with different needs significant, but small, changes in
and how many kilojoules it takes to weight,” Kravitz adds. “It’s not noth-
keep them functioning,” says Dr Mi- ing, but it’s not nearly equal to food
chael D. Jensen, a physician-scientist intake.”
who studies obesity and metabolism.
The body’s major organs – the brain, 3 METABOLISM CAN
liver, kidneys and heart – account VARY A LOT BETWEEN
for over half of the energy burned at PEOPLE, AND
rest, while fat, the digestive system RESEARCHERS DON’T
and especially the body’s muscles UNDERSTAND WHY
account for the remainder.
It’s true that two people with the
2 MOST OF THE same size and body composition
ENERGY YOU BURN can have different metabolic rates.
IS FROM YOUR One can consume a huge meal and
RESTING METABOLISM gain no weight, while the other has
to count kilojoules.
There are three main ways you burn
energy: a) the basal metabolism, But why this is remains a ‘black
which is the energy used for your box’, says professor of physiolog y
body’s basic functioning while at rest; Will Wong. “We don’t understand
b) the energy used to break down the mechanism that controls a per-
food, also known as the thermic son’s metabolic rate.”
effect of food; and c) the energy used
in physical activity. One very under- Researchers have been able to find
appreciated fact about the body is that some predictors of how fast a per-
your resting metabolism accounts for son’s metabolism will be. These in-
a huge amount of the total kilojoules clude: the amount of lean muscle and
you burn each day. Physical activity, fat tissue in the body, age and genet-
on the other hand, accounts for a tiny ics (though researchers don’t know

68 April 2020

Eight Truths About How We Burn Kilojoules

why some families have higher or 5 YOU CAN’T REALLY
lower metabolic rates). Gender also SPEED UP YOUR
matters, since women with any given METABOLISM FOR
body composition and age burn few- WEIGHT LOSS
er kilojoules than comparable men.
There’s a lot of hype around ‘speed-

You can’t easily measure your ing up your metabolism’ and losing

resting metabolic rate in a precise weight by exercising more to build
way. There are some commercially muscle, eating different foods or

available tests, but the best meas- taking supplements. But it’s a myth.

urements come from research While there are certain foods –
studies that use expensive equip- like coffee, chilli and other spices

ment. However, you can get a rough – that may increase the basal met-

estimate of your resting metabolic abolic rate just a little, Dr Jensen
rate by plugging some basic varia- says the change is so negligible and

bles into online calculators, such as short-lived, it would never have an

age, height and weight. These will impact on your waistline.
tell you how many kilojoules you’re Building more muscles, however,

expected to burn each day, and if can be more helpful. Here’s why:

you eat that many and your weight one of the variables that affects your
stays the same, it’s probably correct. resting metabolic rate is the amount
of lean body mass you have. At any
4 ANOTHER THING given weight, the more muscle on
THAT SLOWS DOWN your body, the higher your metabol-
THE METABOLISM: ic rate. That’s because muscle uses a
GETTING OLDER lot more energy than fat while at rest.

The effect happens gradually, even if So the logic is, if you can build up

you have the same amount of fat and your muscle, you’ll have a higher

muscle tissue. So if you’re 60, you’ll resting metabolism and will burn the
burn fewer kilojoules at rest than you fuel in your body more quickly. But

did when you were 20. there’s a caveat.

Dr Jensen says this continual According to professor of medi-
decline starts in young adulthood cine Michael Rosenbaum, who stud-

– and why this happens is another ies weight loss and metabolism: “If

metabolism question researchers you have more muscle, it burns fuel

haven’t answered. “Why do your en- more rapidly. But that’s only half the

ergy needs go down as you age, even question.” If you do gain more muscle

if you keep everything else pretty and effectively speed up your metab-

much the same? That’s one of the olism, “You have to fight the natural

bigger mysteries.” tendency to [want to] eat more as a

69

READER’S DIGEST

result of your higher metabolism.” Us Fat, believes this may be the body’s
Dr Jensen also notes that it’s difficult way of vigorously defending a certain
for people to sustain the workouts re- weight range, called the set point.
quired to keep the muscle mass they
gained. “For most, it’s kind of imprac- Once you gain weight and keep the
tical,” he adds. weight on for a period of time, the
body can get used to its new, larger
Overall, he says, “There’s not any size. When that weight drops, a bunch
part of the resting metabolism that you of subtle changes kick in – to the hor-
have a huge amount of control over.” mone levels, the brain – slowing the
resting metabolism and having the
6 DIETING CAN effect of increasing hunger and de-
SLOW DOWN YOUR creasing satiety from food, all in a
METABOLISM seeming conspiracy to get the body
back up to that set point of weight.
While it’s extremely hard to speed up
the metabolic rate, researchers have “I don’t think most people appreci-
found there are things that can slow ate how big these metabolic changes
it down – like drastic weight-loss. can be when they lose a lot of weight,”
Aamodt says. “Weight gain and loss
“[Crash diets] probably have the are not symmetrical: the body fights
biggest effect on resting metabolism,” much more strongly to keep weight
says Dr Jensen. But not in a good way. from dropping than it does to keep
weight from increasing.”
For years, researchers have been
documenting a phenomenon called 7 RESEARCHERS DON’T
‘metabolic adaptation’. As people FULLY UNDERSTAND
lose weight, their basal metabolic WHY THIS METABOLIC
rate actually slows down to a great- SLOWDOWN HAPPENS
er degree than would be expected
from the weight loss. To be clear, it There are some interesting hypothe-
makes sense that losing weight will ses, however. One of the most persis-
slow down metabolism. Slimming tent is an evolutionary explanation.
down generally involves muscle
loss, which, in turn, means the body “Over hundreds of millennia, we
doesn’t have to work as hard to keep evolved in an environment where
running. But the slowdown after we had to confront frequent periods
weight loss, researchers have found, of undernutrition,” Professor Rosen-
often appears to be substantially baum says. “So you would predict
greater than makes sense for a per- that human DNA would be full of
son’s new weight. genes that favour the storage of extra
kilojoules as fat. That ability would
Neuroscientist Sandra Aamodt, to some extent increase our ability
author of the book Why Diets Make

70 April 2020

Eight Truths About How We Burn Kilojoules

to survive during periods of under- Professor Rosenbaum says. So weight
nutrition and increase our ability to loss is possible.
reproduce – genetic survival.”
For any would-be weight loser,
Today, the thinking goes, this in- he says the key is finding lifestyle
ability to lose weight is our body changes you can stick to over a long
defending against periods of under- period of time.
nutrition, even though those are now
much rarer. He points to the National Weight
Control Registry, a study that has
But not all researchers agree with analysed the traits, habits and
this so-called ‘thrifty gene’ hypoth- behaviours of adults who have lost
esis. As epigeneticist John Speak- at least 13 kilograms and kept it off
man wrote in a 2013 Annual Review for a minimum of one year – as an
of Nutrition analysis, one issue with example of how they do that. The
the hypothesis is that not everybody people who have had success in los-
in modern society is overweight. ing weight have a few things in com-
mon: they weigh themselves at least
And, Professor Rosenbaum adds, once a week. They exercise regularly
“The evolution of our genetic predis- at varying degrees of intensity, with
position to store fat is complex. It in- the most common exercise being
volves a frequently changing environ- walking. They restrict their kilojoule
ment, interactions of specific genes intake, stay away from high-fat foods
with that environment, and even in- and watch their portion sizes. They
teractions between genes.” This inter- also tend to eat breakfast.
play of factors is still a mystery.
But there’s a tonne of diversity as to
8 A SLOWER what makes up their meals. (So there
METABOLISM is no ‘best’ diet or fad diet that did the
DOESN’T MEAN trick.) And they count kilojoules.
KEEPING WEIGHT OFF
IS FUTILE “They made huge changes to their
diet and exercise plans to keep it off,”
In trials, “15 per cent of people, on av- he says. “It’s hard.”
erage, manage to lose ten per cent of
their weight or more and keep it off,” © 2018, JULIA BELLUZ. FROM VOX
(SEPTEMBER 4, 2018), VOX.COM

Marriage Saviour

To the great relief of an errant husband, Birmingham police dog
Odin was able to sniff out a missing wedding ring after its owner

had tossed it away following a row with his wife. SKY NEWS

71

WORD
SLEUTH

10 Terms Every Crime-
Fiction Fan Should Know

72 april 2020

LANGUAGE

The crime-fiction vocabulary can be as
exciting as the stories themselves

BY Saptak Choudhury

ILLUSTRATIONS: GETTY IMAGES Very few things can execution – it may even be a fic-
outmatch the thrill of tional autobiography of criminals
a bone-chilling, cold- and their thrilling escapades.
blooded murder mystery,
especially on a rainy DETECTIVE FICTION: This is a nar-
evening. We dig into
the best of crime and rower category with a strong fo-
detective fiction and cus on detectives. Irrespective of
unravel vocabulary that whether they have been thrust into
brings alive twisted the role accidentally or not, the de-
plots and tropes – and tective is expected to expose the
help readers understand guilty party and their evil mach-
whodunnit and how. inations by the end.

Crime Fiction vs Detective Fiction ALIBI: Any piece of circumstan-

CRIME FICTION: A broad overarch- tial, testimonial evidence or a
plot development that directly or
ing genre, it is used to describe accidentally ‘proves’ a particular
any work of fiction that details an person was elsewhere at the time
act of a crime being committed. of the crime. Often, the culprits
It does not necessarily require are shown to depend on testimo-
the presence of a detective for its nies of the cast to vindicate their
innocence, while the detectives
must break them down. Think of
a culprit who moves the hands of
all the clocks in a house to falsify

73

READER’S DIGEST

the time of death, or someone who
stores a corpse in a freezer and
then ‘discovers’ it at a convenient
time – estimating the time of death
by checking for rigor mortis will be
inaccurate and provide the perpe-
trator an alibi.

TRICK: Suppose a group of people without the culprit’s interference,
it can also qualify as a red herring.
see a person plummet to death
from the seventh floor of a high- DYING MESSAGE: A particularly
rise building, but they see no one
else on the balcony. Adding two favourite trope among mystery
and two together, they conclude authors, this can take different
that the person committed suicide. forms: a scrawl on the f loor, a
However, they may have failed to bloodied piece of paper with let-
notice the wily trick or setup the ters/codes, or the direction in
real culprit used to disguise the which their fingers point.
murder as a suicide. A trick, then,
is a craft y, elaborate mechanism Dying messages offer various
that allows a criminal to commit plot possibilities: a murderer may
their deeds while fooling investi- decide to alter the message if they
gators and witnesses alike. spot it, the investigators may mis-
interpret it, or a character may de-
RED HERRING: The criminal under- cide not to reveal the meaning of
the message, even if they realise it.
stands that the detective is closing
in on them. Their escape plans FALSE/FAKE SOLUTION: This is a
have long failed, and the façade
cannot be maintained any longer. scenario where detectives show
As a last resort, they hit upon the off their knowledge by presenting
devious plan of leaving false, mis- different solutions to the crime
leading hints that will implicate
innocent members of the cast, and
allow themselves to make a geta-
way. These false clues or hints are
red herrings.

Funnily enough, if an over-per-
ceptive detective misinterprets a
clue and is led to a wrong solution

74 april 2020

Word Sleuth

for the readers and the characters committed the crime. Devising a
– usually all variations except the successful locked-room stratagem
correct one. While this is usually requires special care, inspired im-
a humorous trope, in special cir- agination and special attention to
cumstances, this can be cleverly detail. No wonder this device has
used by a private eye to lull the a place of pride among the best
criminal into a false sense of secu- crime fiction.
rity, leading them to make a mis-
take, leaving damning evidence. UNRELIABLE NARRATOR: Authors

IMPOSSIBLE CRIME: This is an ox- bestow unique powers to this fig-
ure – they may distort facts, hide
ymoron really, since a crime once details or manipulate events sub-
committed is clearly possible. tly while maintaining the façade
Yet, it is used to describe an outré of being an impartial chronicler
crime that, at first glance, seems of what eventually transpires.
absolutely impossible. Think of a
theft at a bank vault with the latest RULE NO. 1: Never trust a narra-
foolproof anti-burglary traps or a
train-jacking where a compartment tor unless you want to be nastily
disappears between two stations. shocked later. This trope is rare-
ly used with transparency. Hints
LOCKED ROOM: If an author de- about the unreliable nature of a
narrator, usually presented in the
cides to have a character killed in first person, can appear as imper-
a room with all the entry points ceptible revelations about their
closed, know then that they have state of mind, the words they may
been sacrificed at the altar of have spoken or even mannerisms,
one of the most fiendish literary behavioural itches and character
devices ever invented. A locked- traits.
room scenario (in other words, a
hermetically-sealed chamber) is a A great example of this is Ryuno-
sinister situation in which a crime suke Akutagawa’s short story In a
is successfully committed at a Bamboo Grove (one of the inspira-
scene with absolutely no means of tions behind Akira Kurosawa’s Ra-
entry or egress. shomon) where witnesses provide
equally sincere, but contradictory,
The size and scale of the locked first-hand accounts of a murder –
room may vary – it could even be later dubbed the Rashomon effect.
an island cut off from the outside Akutagawa’s story lets readers de-
world, where it’s evident that only cide for themselves the authentic-
one of the occupants could have ity of the incident.

75

76 april 2020

PHOTO FEATURE

Man or animal,
sometimes there are
simply too many of us

BY Cornelia Kumfert

PHOTO: TRINITY MIRROR/
MIRRORPIX/AL AMY STOCK PHOTO

77

 Elton John, Queen, U2, Phil Collins, David Bowie
– the number of top music stars who took to the
stage at the Live Aid concert in 1985 was huge.

But it was nothing compared to the massive
number of people in the audience. In
London’s Wembley Stadium alone 70,000

people attended what at the time was
the biggest rock festival ever held. An
astonishing 1.5 billion people around

the world watched the spectacle on
their TVs. The organisers hoped to
raise $30 million for aid in Africa.
The final figure, however, turned

out to be more than $150 million.

 Sardines travel the world’s
oceans in gigantic shoals
measuring up to 15 kilometres
long and one-and-a-half
kilometres wide. Moving in

such massive groups helps
protect them from
predators such as tuna and
mackerel, but sharks aren’t
so easily deceived. They
simply swim through the
shoal with their jaws

open, ingesting anything
that comes into their
mouths.

Bangladeshis go to
great lengths to
celebrate Eid al-Fitr –
the Muslim festival
marking the end of
fasting – with their
families. More people
descend on the railway
stations than the trains
can hold, leaving many
sitting on their roofs.

78 April 2020

Tight Spaces

PHOTOS: (SARDINES) GETTY IMAGES/STOCKTREK IMAGES;
(TR AIN) REHMAN ASAD/BARCROFT MEDIA VIA GETT Y IMAGES

79

READER’S DIGEST  Anyone wanting to climb the summit of one of
the world’s highest mountains will more than
80 April 2020 likely be slowed by some congestion first. Ever

more people travel to Nepal to climb Mount
Everest. However, accomplishing this
dangerous feat is only possible between
extreme weather conditions, mostly

between May and June, which means
there is frequent congestion at
bottlenecks, and sometimes queues
of more than 200 people waiting to

get through.

 Santorini, Greece’s most
popular island, is characterised
by its clusters of white-washed
houses, some of which are
partially dug into the volcanic

rock while others teeter
precariously on the edge of
cliffs or plunge higgledy-
piggledy down the
cliffsides. With the island
hugely popular among

tourists, locals are pushing
authorities to deal with
the huge influxes of day-
trippers who clog up the
already tight spaces.

 Female squirrels often
have five young in a
litter, which makes for a
tight squeeze in the drey
[squirrel nest]. That’s
surely what these four
squirrels were thinking
when they all decided to
take a peek at the
outside world. Luckily
for them, the fifth sibling
was napping.

Tight Spaces

PHOTOS: (MOUNT EVERES T) ROBERTHARDING/AL AMY S TOCK PHOTO;
(SQUIRREL S) HIROSHI TAKEDA/AC TION PRESS; (SANTORINI) GET T Y IMAGES

Food is precious,
says food-waste

campaigner
Selina Juul

82 April 2020

PROFILE

WALSFEOSTTOOT’DIPSNG
Growing up in Soviet Russia taught Selina Juul
never to take food for granted. Today, she
heads a fast-growing movement to eliminate
food waste from society

PHOTO; ANDREAS MIKKEL HANSEN O BY Tim Hulse
ctober 2019. Selina Juul is sitting in the
third row of the auditorium at Copenha-
gen’s Tivoli Congress Hall when former
American Vice President Al Gore enters
the sweeping, curved stage. He is here to
give a keynote address on the climate crisis. Thanks
to his years of environmental campaigning, Gore is
introduced as a “global climate superstar”. “This is
our generation’s life or death battle,” he says. There

83

READER’S DIGEST

are only three ques- wasting their money

tions left to discuss: and they’re wasting

“Must we change? resources. Today, al-

Can we change? Will most one billion peo-

we change?” ple on this planet are

For Juu l, Gore’s going hungry, and at

words have particular the same time there

significance. Fourteen is enough food lost or

years ago, his docu- wasted that could feed

mentar y, An Incon- two billion.”

venient Truth, changed Juul cuts a striking

her life and inspired figure, dressed all

her, in her own way, in black, with plati-

to try to change the num-blonde hair. As

world. she talks, her arms

Before Gore’s speech wave around, fingers

she had an opportuni- A selfie with Al Gore, who splayed, as if miming
ty to tell him this and inspired Juul’s campaign the importance and

to explain how she has urgency of her cause.

founded a movement, Stop Spild Af “If we can solve this, it will be one

Mad (Stop Wasting Food), which has of the keys to achieving world peace,”

had a huge impact in Denmark. Their she says. “If every child, woman and

meeting is reported on Denmark’s man has enough to eat, many of the

evening TV bulletins: Russian-born world’s conflicts will cease.”
Since Juul launched Stop
Juul is a national figure in her adopt- Wasting Food in 2008, it’s
ed country, and what she says and estimated that Denmark
does makes news. has cut its food waste by

“It was a great honour to meet
him,” says Juul, proudly displaying

the selfie on her phone. She’s a warm, more than a quarter, and Juul can PHOTO: COURTESY OF SELINA JUUL

empathetic character, who favours a take much of the credit. It’s fair to

hug over a handshake and who talks say that her cause is pretty much her

articulately and passionately about life, and today is just another day in a

the subject closest to her heart. typically hectic week that began with

Her ambition is that wasting food a speech at a school in Jutland – four

will one day be seen to be as socially hours west of Copenhagen.

unacceptable as smoking indoors. It will also include time spent

“Seeing people wasting food makes planning a trip to the Vatican, where

me ver y sad,” she says. “They’re she has been invited to speak at a

84 April 2020

With supporters
at a food

club event in
Copenhagen in

2016

conference on food waste, as well as which features her advice for fam-

making arrangements for a dinner ilies on how to avoid wasting food

at Copenhagen’s Swedish Embassy, and 80 leftover-friendly recipes from

where inf luential Swedes and in- a variety of Danish and French food

PHOTO; MINISTRY OF ENVIRONMENT AND FOOD OF DENMARK ternational decision-makers will be luminaries, as well as HRH Princess

given a meal made from surplus food Marie, daughter-in-law of Denmark’s

and hopefully be in- “IF WE CAN SOLVE ruling monarch. A
spired to put food THIS, IT WILL BE percentage of sales
waste on the political ONE OF THE KEYS from the book will go
agenda. TO ACHIEVING to DanChurchAid to
WORLD PEACE” help hungry children
The International in Africa.
Stop Wasting Food

Dinner has become Juul is particu-
an annual event for larly excited by the

Juul. Last year she involvement of the

organised one at the Dutch embassy, Princess. It’s a sign that her cam-

and next year it will be the turn of the paign against food waste has moved

French. beyond the realms of niche activism

The week will end at Juul’s pub- and into the mainstream of Danish

lishers, where she will see for the first society. “The Princess is the sweet-

time a copy of her new book, Mad est person and she really has her

Med Respekt (Food With Respect), heart in it,” says Juul. “She’s a great

85

READER’S DIGEST

Addressing the
Nordic Business

Forum on
food waste in
Helsinki in 2017

ambassador for the whole movement economic crisis. PHOTO: NORDIC BUSINESS FORUM
against food waste.” Growing up in a Moscow apartment

With more than 200 projects with her parents and grandparents,
launched over the last decade, Juul Juul experienced first hand the pri-
has certainly made a difference, and vations brought about by a system in
yet the position she now finds herself terminal decline.
in, as she approaches 40, is not some-
thing she ever imagined earlier in her “Communism collapsed and sud-
career as a graphic designer. denly there was no food in the super-
markets,” she recalls. “The joke about
“I would never, ever have believed the Russian supermarket is that you
that I would be doing this today,” she go inside and there’s no food. That’s
says, laughing. “I’m not a food person what happened in the 1980s. My
or a politician.” grandma was the one who did the
shopping and looked after the house-
The seeds of Juul’s activism hold, and I remember her saying that
were planted very early on we shouldn’t waste anything because
in life – as a child in Soviet we don’t know if there’s going to be
Russia. The late 1980s saw food tomorrow.
the rise of Mikhail Gorbachev, pe-
restroika [restructuring] and glas- “It’s a scary feeling. More than once
nost [openness]. Soviet society was she came back from the supermarket
becoming more liberal, but at the with nothing. She did everything to
same time the country was facing an make the food last so we could still
have food on our table. She’s my

86 April 2020

Let’s Stop Wasting Food

greatest hero because she’s the one But Juul was equally amazed at

who really taught me about that.” the casual way her classmates would

Things got so bad that Russian waste food. “People’s parents would

families began to receive food aid make them packed lunches, which

from the West. “It was basically they would toss in the bin before going

Spam,” Juul laughs. “We didn’t know to McDonald’s,” she recalls.

any better, so we A THIRD OF THE When Juul first
thought, ‘Wow, this WORLD’S FOOD visited a Danish
is food from the West, PRODUCTION supermarket, she
it must be very good!’ was astonished by
My grandmother IS SIMPLY the amount of food
said, ‘We mustn’t THROWN AWAY on display. Spending

waste it. We must eat time as an intern at a
it in very small piec- bakery, she was tak-

es, it’s very delicious en aback to see the

food’.” bread left over at the end of each day

Not long afterwards, 13-year-old put in bags and thrown out.

Juul moved to Copenhagen with her When she finished school, Juul

scientist mother, who had landed went to college, where she studied

a job at the university. (Her parents journalism and graphic design, and

were divorced by this time.) When then began working as a freelance

she told her new classmates the Spam illustrator with her own graphic

story, they were incredulous. design company. “Then I saw An

87

READER’S DIGEST Inconvenient Truth,” she says. “And
I woke up.”
FOAONDDWHOAWSTTAOGE
INRETDHUECHEOIMTE July 2008. It’s the final evening
of a holiday in Croatia for Juul
•One third of all food produced and her boyfriend, Jakob, and
for human consumption ends they’re sitting eating dinner on
up being uneaten and the terrace of their hotel just outside
discarded every year –around the picturesque coastal city of Sibe-
1.3 billion tonnes of food – nik. It’s two years since Juul saw An
costing the global economy Inconvenient Truth and decided that
close to $940 billion. she needed to do something to make
•Fruit and vegetables, a difference. This evening the answer
including roots and tubers, suddenly comes to her from nowhere.
have the highest wastage rates. Why is no one focusing on food waste?
After all, food production is the third
WHAT CAN YOU DO? highest producer of CO2 in the world.
•Most people tend to buy more
food than they need. Check the “That night, I was too excited to
fridge before you shop. sleep,” she says. She sits making notes
•Plan your meals. It saves time, and even quickly draws a logo for the
money and reduces food movement that’s taking shape in her
waste. head: simple red and white words on
•Check date labels and know a black square. The next day, when
the difference between: she gets back to Copenhagen, there’s
‘Use by’– food has to go. a story in one of the newspapers say-
‘Best before’– food is at its best ing that the Danes waste an average
and can be eaten after this date 63 kilograms of food per person every
as long as it has been stored year.
correctly.
‘Display until’– a stock control “It was a sign,” she says.
message for retailers. She starts a Stop Wasting Food
•Get creative with leftovers. Facebook group the same day. People
•Ask for smaller portions or a join. Momentum builds. Within two
‘doggy bag’ when eating out. weeks, Juul is attracting the attention
of the Danish media and giving in-
SOURCES: WWF.ORG.AU; FAO terviews about food waste. And then
she gets a call from Anders Jensen,
88 April 2020 the buying and marketing director
of REMA 1000, the biggest discount
supermarket chain in Denmark.

Let’s Stop Wasting Food

FThe pair met at a café in Copenha- or Juul this was just the begin-
ning. Over the last 11 years,
gen and agreed that it was insane thatshe has proved to be a shrewd
a third of the world’s food produc- media operator, launching
tion is simply thrown away. Jensen
said he had never been fond of bulk campaigns that catch the public im-

discounts, such as three for two of- agination: persuading supermarkets

fers. He felt it just encouraged waste. to sell ‘ugly vegetables’, for example,

Juul agreed. Following their meeting, encouraging the use of doggy bags

REMA 1000 announced that it would at restaurants, or popularising the

no longer offer bulk discounts. concept of UFOs – as in ‘unidentified

“And it was like a bomb exploded,” frozen objects’. These are the leftovers

says Jensen with a laugh. “It was big we put in our freezer and then forget

news. All our competitors said it was about. Juul suggests that every second

totally crazy.” He says he knew that, month we should have a ‘UFO week’

at least initially, his stores would sell and eat all the food we’ve stored away.

less. “But we crossed our fingers that At home, Juul puts her ideas into

in the long run more people would practice. She lives with Jakob (they’ve

come, because nobody likes to throw now been together for more than 18

out food. years) and both are pescatarians. They

“Fortunately now, we have more keep any waste from preparing vege-

and more satisfied customers,” says tables in a pot in the fridge and once a

Jensen. Maybe the margins are a little week they turn it into stock, which

less but we are selling more. It takes they then freeze in small portions and

time before people get used to it.” use for making new dishes.

What’s in a Name?

William Williams knows how you’re going to react to his
name, because he’s heard it all before. When people ask
“Are you for real? Are you really William Williams?” the 27-year-old
New Yorker replies, “My parents didn’t have a choice.”
That’s because he’s the tenth consecutive William Henry Williams,
a name that has been shared by men in his family dating back to
18th-century Wales. William Williams X has the family keepsakes
to prove it — including a Bible from 1854 inscribed with the name
of William Williams IV. X notes that his forebears all led esteemed
and proud lives, with policemen and judges in the family tree.

NYPOST.COM

89

READER’S DIGEST

ALL IN A DAY’S WORK

Humour on the Job

Just Ask Them he had noted a previous conviction
of manslaughter. Below that, on the
A job application asked me to line listing his skills, he had written,
“Good with people”.
list three references. I wrote in
SUBMITTED BY JANA RAHRIG
Wikipedia, Google and the Oxford
Freudian Slip
English Dictionary. I didn’t get
Most days in the clinic where I
the job. SUBMITTED BY SUSAN FLYNN used to work, the phones rang a lot.
One very hectic day, when the
People Person phones had been particularly busy, CARTOON BY HARLEY SCHWADRON
I got a bit confused when answering
A friend and I had a small temporary- a line that had been waiting:
staffing service. Our agency did “Thanks for helping, how can
mandatory background checks on I hold you?”
all candidates. One day after a round
of interviews, my colleague was SUBMITTED BY DIANE STIFT
entering information from a young
man’s application into the computer.
She called me over to show me that

90 april 2020

All In a Day’s Work

Tech Speak THE WORST MISTAKE
I’VE MADE AT WORK …
I was describing my job as an
engineer to some school pupils “This guy came into my
when I mentioned that “one of my department store loading
colleagues and I designed a medical zone, put on a high-vis vest,
instrument for measuring human picked up the biggest TV, and
muscle tone.” Later, I added, “another while putting it on a trolley,
colleague and I designed a system to dropped it, and then asked
allow shopkeepers to print coupons me to help lift it.
at the cash register.” Thinking that all
this technical talk was confusing, I The guy thanked me and left
asked if there were any questions. with his brand-new TV that
There was one: “What’s a colleague?” I’d helped him steal.” reddit.com

SUBMITTED BY JAMES HAHN “I once sent a company-wide

Rosy Hopes

A man came through my lane at the
supermarket with a bottle of wine
and a bouquet of roses. But before
paying, he set the two items aside
and said, “I’ll be right back.” He ran
off, only to return a minute later with
a second bottle of wine and another
bouquet of roses.

“Two girlfriends?” I asked.
“No,” he said.
“Just one really angry one.”

SUBMITTED BY JOHN H. FLYNN

virus warning by forwarding

ILLUSTRATIONS: GETTY IMAGES an email so people could see

what it looked like should

they receive one and forgetting

to remove the infected

attachment.” @Entropy72

“On my first day of work,
I accidentally called my
boss ‘Daddy’.” coburgbanks.co.uk

91

ANIMAL KINGDOM

The plan to save the iconic
kiwi from extinction – one

fluffy chick at a time

BY Stéphanie Verge

92 April 2020

93

READER’S DIGEST Pea, have fled the nest, probably due ( P R E V I O U S S P R E A D ) C O U R T E S Y O F N G A– I T A H U T O U R I S M
to the smell. Still, Palmer hopes Pea
he should have found will use this burrow again. (It’s the
the hatchling by now. female North Island brown kiwi that
With her right arm lays the eggs, but it’s the male that sits
deep in the burrow, on them for three months.) At half a
Bridget Palmer has metre deep under sturdy tree roots, it’s
been groping around a gO–ohoodpneeisst.one of the country’s larg-
est remaining forests of po–hutuka-
Sfor a few minutes al- wa, an evergreen once used for ship-
ready. Her colleague, building and called the New Zealand
John Black, hiking Christmas bush in Australia for its
boots dug into the hillside to keep crimson flowers. The reserve is also
from sliding in the mud, searched the rich in birds, such as the tu–-i, a dark
burrow, too, but came up empty. The honeyeater with white throat tufts; the
pair, volunteers with the Whakata–ne melodious korimako (bellbird); and
Kiwi Trust on New Zealand’s North the piwakawaka, which deploys its tail
Island, are two of only six people in in a fan shape to change directions.
the organisation trained to handle live New Zealanders are proud of their
kiwi. But as Palmer is about to discov- birds, but they especially love the kiwi.
er on this overcast November morn-
ing, there’s nothing for them here. “The chick is like a big tennis ball
A ranger with New Zealand’s De- with pouf,” says Palmer. Black de-
partment of Conservation (DOC), scribes it as “a bundle of cuteness on
44-year-old Palmer pulls clumps of legs.” The kiwi is the country’s most
hinuOm–hidopleeaSvceesnoiuctRoefstehreven.eSsht,el’oscloatoekd- famous emblem – even hobbits can’t
ing for eggshells, a sign that a bird dethrone it. But it’s in trouble.
has hatched. Soon, she finds a beak,
feathers. Yet there’s no cause for joy Extinction rates for birds in New
– Palmer is cradling a chick’s corpse, Zealand are high. According to the
flattened in a wad of leaves. DOC, 34 per cent of endemic land
“Hatch death,” she murmurs. and freshwater birds and five per cent
Palmer buries the chick. After of sea birds have already been lost.
incubating for about 85 days, it be- Today, more than a third of bird spe-
came exhausted, then stuck, trying to cies are considered threatened – one
chip its way out of the egg, which can step away from endangered. Among
take three to five days. The chick suffo- them: the chicken-sized North Island
cated before being able to break free. brown kiwi, the most common of five
Its sibling, Kikorangi, born two weeks recognised kiwi species and the one
earlier, and their father, equipped that lives nearest humans, mainly in
with a transmitter and given the name

94 April 2020

Rare Bird

COURTESY OF MÉLANIE DEVEAULT low-slung coastal areas. Also facing Bridget PalmineO–r hwoitphea kiwi chick
precarity are its cousins, the rowi (the
rarest, it lives mostly in the Okarito the new but already booming rabbit
kiwi sanctuary on the South Island), population.
the tokoeka (also called the southern
brown, it resembles its northern coun- Of the five kiwi, the North Island
terpart), the great spotted kiwi (large browns are disappearing the fastest,
and rugged, it prefers mountains) and largely due to deforestation. Add to
the little spotted kiwi (grey and mot- that stoats, car collisions, dog and
tled, it’s the size of a bantam hen). cat attacks, possum traps and the fact
that nearly one-third of eggs are in-
They all have hair-like feathers, fertile or don’t hatch. Of the ones that
cat-like whiskers for navigating in do hatch, only five chicks in every
the dark and a strong sense of smell 100 survive to reach the stoat-proof
thanks to a long, sensitive beak with weight of one kilogram. Without
nostrils at the tip. And although they protection, there would be a two per
can run quickly, kiwi are anything but cent decline in population annually,
stealthy: the birds’ footfall sounds al- and within 50 years, the North Island
most human-like as they stomp and brown would be gone.
crash through the bush. These ador-
able creatures are the closest thing 95
New Zealand has to a cuddly mascot.
In total, only some 68,000 of them
remain.

Many of the country’s feathered
flocks evolved to live on the ground;
their predators came from the sky,
like the giant Haast’s eagle, now
extinct. Without the gift of flight,
earthbound birds like the kiwi are
often defenceless against attacks
from ground-dwelling animals. That
wasn’t a problem until European
whalers, sealers and traders began
stopping by in the late 1700s, about
500 years after the Ma–ori arrived
from Polynesia. With the Europeans
came rodents and the kiwis’ enemy
No. 1, the weasel-like stoat, intro-
duced in the late 1800s to control

READER’S DIGEST

That’s why Palmer, Black and a her mother and now sponsors him,
paying $335 per year for his trans-
group of 130 volunteers are putting mitter, which has a battery life of 12
months. With 22 adult males and 16
in over 5000 hours a year to save the chicks to track annually across three
reserves, the trust attracts sponsors by
kiwi. Established in 2006, the Whaka- promising face time with the birds in
ta–ne Kiwi Trust monitors the birds their natural habitat. Most New Zea-
landers have never seen their noctur-
for research purposes, helps the DOC nal national animal. Pea is also a local
celebrity: he is the first chick to hatch
with predator control and offers edu- and grow up in the wild as part of the
Whakata–ne Kiwi Project.
cation in schools and to the general
Prior to 2011, when Pea was born,
public. Black, a computer program- the trust was working with Oper-
ation Nest Egg (ONE), an initiative
mer, has even created the WebApp involving the DOC, community con-
servation groups, Ma–ori, researchers
that allows volunteers to record all and rearing facilities. Through ONE,
kiwi eggs and chicks are removed
things kiwi related, from hours and from their burrows and raised in
captivity until they weigh at least
trapping to tracking and mapping. It’s one kilogram, as the odds of surviv-
ing stoat attacks before reaching this
being considered as the model for a milestone weight are zero. It takes
about six months before they can be
national database. surveyed O–hope returned to their former territory.
When the DOC
After years of using ONE’s services,
in 1999, it counted only four pairs of the Whakata–ne Kiwi Project wanted
to help the birds in situ by monitor-
kiwi. Thirteen years after the trust’s ing the chicks from hatch. Some sea-
sons have been more successful than
founding, there were over 300 birds others. Palmer is disappointed by
Pea’s second chick’s failure to hatch
in total, thanks in part to the remov- but prefers that to death by stoat. “In
my mind, this is Mother Nature tak-
al of more than 13,000 predators, in- ing its course,” she says.

cluding 1,000-plus stoats and 300-plus Rainbow Springs Nature Park may
differ from the trust’s workspace,
weasels.

But the group’s trackers – nick-

named ‘chick pingers’ for the sound

their antennas make when they

pick up a bird’s transmitter signal –

and trappers face a quick-thinking,

Jquuliyck2-0b1r8e,eadifnamg fiolye.oFfrsotmoatJsuliyn2O–0h1o7ptoe

was unwilling to approach a trap

even for salted rabbit; the female was

teaching her kits to avoid the trap and

the bait, killing kiwi chicks instead. All

four of Pea’s offspring that year died,

which is one reason the volunteers are

particularly invested in his new clutch.

Pea has long been a favourite of

Palmer’s; she named the bird after

96 April 2020

Rare Bird

but its goal is the same:

the continuation of the

kiwi. Located in the city of

Rotorua, an hour-and-15-

minute drive inland from
coasta l Whakata–ne, it’s

home to the National Kiwi

Hatchery Aotearoa, the

world’s largest of its kind.

Emma Bean, 38, is the kiwi

husbandry manager there.

She and her staff of seven

hatch and release an aver-

age of 130 chicks each year

(the average hatching rate

is 95 per cent). A two-day-old kiwi chick with many of its silvery
She knows that success feather sheaths still attached

is somewhat artificial, but

until kiwi habitat is free of introduced piercing for a male, raspy for a female.

predators, humans need to intervene. It’s made after sunset, then repeated

“If eggs arrive at 3am, we’re all ready ten to 25 times. “A couple of years ago,

to be here,” she says, adding that with- a chick cracked open its shell and, still

in five days of birth, chicks know how wet, did a massive call, followed by

to probe for insects with their long nine more,” says Bean. “Most kiwi are

bill and are ready to wander. Brown too shattered after the exertion to do

kiwi often leave their dad’s nest after that. But this little one was yelling, ‘I’m

a week, while other species tend to here. Yes, I need your help, but I’m not

hang around for a bit longer. going extinct. Listen to me call.’”

Though she’s worked at the hatch- You can hear these calls at Zealan-

C O U R T E S Y O F N G A– I T A H U T O U R I S M ery for more than a decade, Bean re- dia. An eco-sanctuary in the coun-

mains fascinated by her charges. “Kiwi try’s capital, Wellington, its 500-year

are biologically significant,” she says. goal is to restore the valley’s forest

Unlike most other birds, they have two and freshwater ecosystems to their

ovaries, not one. Their temperature is prehuman-contact state. Just two

more like that of humans: 38°C rather kilometres from the city’s core, the

than 40 or 42. Their bones aren’t hol- 225-hectare conservation project shel-

low; they contain marrow. And they ters over 20 animal species that have

can live for 50 years or more. been reintroduced to the valley since

Kiwi also have a distinctive call, Zealandia’s 1999 opening. Some, like

97

READER’S DIGEST

the tuatara – a reptile that resembles a Palmer. “If we put our hands in there
lizard but whose closest relative is an during the day, we run the risk of him
animal that was around at the time abandoning his second egg.”
of the dinosaurs – had been extinct
on the North and South Islands for Thanks to a transmitter on Pourai-
over a century. (Small populations ti’s leg, Black and Palmer know how
survived on offshore islands.) much time he spends on and off the
nest and when the egg is close to
Over the course of one evening hatching. That combined with the
here, you can see a trio of tuatara; ‘candling’ they conducted five days
Cook Strait giant we–ta–s, cricket-like prior – a kind of ultrasound per-
vegetarian insects the size of a ger- formed by shining a flashlight across
bil; luminous glow worms blanketing the top of the shell – makes the search
rock faces; and any one of 40 native low-risk. They’re going in.
birds – all behind an 8.6-kilometre
fence that keeps out mammalian Palmer and Black smile at each
predators. But nothing causes quite other; they’re relieved to find a fluffy
the ruckus, literally and figurative- day-old chick rather than reliving the
ly, as the heavy-footed little spot- sadness they felt earlier at Pea’s nest.
ted kiwi, the sight of which sends a Black lifts the edge of the sleeve on
torch-wielding tour group scurrying his jacket so the squeaking newborn
after it through the bush. can plunge itself into darkness. As
poPsaitlemseidreaonfdthBela4c9k0d-hrievcetatoretOh–ehooppe- Black keeps a tight grip on the bird’s
Scenic Reserve, jump out of their already fearsome claws, Palmer teas-
truck, and tramp into the forest. es him about losing track of Chick
They’re heading for the nest belong- One, which is still too small to wear
ing to Pouraiti, one of Black’s two a transmitter. “You know kids,” Black
beneficiaries. In addition to spon- retorts. “Always leaving without tell-
soring this bird, Black has spent the ing you where they’re going.”
better part of several nights trying
to intercept his chick. Tracking is For now, at least they know Chick
a game of patience and luck. “We’d Two is alive. And they will be back,
rather wait until Dad is out,” says to name and study the young – and
gather new stories to inspire others
to protect New Zealand’s tenacious
icon.

On Fine Art

I dropped a box of spaghetti on the ground and accidentally
graduated from Art School. @MR_DRINKSONME

98 april 2020