Women's Health UK 09.2022

We googled
all the sex

terms so you
don’t have to

We also interviewed researchers,
therapists and a tantric sex coach to
bring you an alphabetised intimacy

explainer. Consider this your
ultimate guide

Words: Celine Heath and Olivia Gilbert
Illustrations: Fabio Buonocore at Synergy Art

A is for is for EDGING
is for ANORGASMIA
Granted, orgasms can be as BIMBOFICATION Sure, it sounds counter-intuitive, but
elusive as a sunny bank holiday. pushing the pause button before
But if reaching your pleasurable The term began as a orgasm – AKA ‘edging’ – can offer
peak is proving to be a consistent fetish in which 'plain' serious benefits. Delaying orgasm
challenge, there could be another women altered their can combat premature ejaculation,
explanation. ‘Anorgasmia is looks to conform to extend the duration of sexual activity
difficulty reaching orgasm after a sex object aesthetic and increase the intensity of the
ample sexual stimulation,’ says (think: Jessica Rabbit). orgasm*. In fact, research by Indiana
Belinda Griffiths, GP at Fleet However, over time, University and sex education platform
Street Clinic. Causes vary, but misogynists and incels OmgYes found that 65.5% of women
certain medications, hormonal – an online community said edging led to longer and more
flux, psychological crises and of men who are intense orgasms. ‘It’s a good way to
gynaecological issues are all involuntarily celibate understand how your body works
chief offenders. If you suspect – began using the phrase and what you really want,’ says Aysha
anorgasmia, your GP should be to mourn the ‘loss’ of Bell, transformational sex and tantra
your first port of call, says Dr ‘respectable’ women coach. ‘This makes intimacy with
Griffiths. And if you get the all- and shame those who partners easier to navigate because
clear but you still can’t climax? embraced femininity. you feel better connected to your
Sex coaching and therapy is the By 2022, bimbofication own wants and desires.’
next step. Expect a combination has had yet another
of CBT to address psychological rebrand, becoming
barriers and guidance on a way of reclaiming
pleasure, masturbation and hyper-femininity and
partnered sex positions. female sexuality outside
of the male gaze.
is for
is for DIGISEXUALITY
CLITORIS
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, porn: tech
Ah, the clitoris. Small but mighty and sex are compatible bedfellows.
thanks to its 8,000 nerve endings, But going online to get your kicks
it’s the only organ with pleasure as
its main function. Yet, historic bias in does not make you a digisexual.
scientific research that prioritises the ‘What distinguishes digisexual as a
male anatomy means we still don’t sexual identity is that they find their
really understand how it works. Dr connection with technology to be
Griffiths defines the clitoris as ‘a small very close to the connections we
organ situated in the vulva between would make with human partners,’
the labia minora’. But the glans clitoris says Neil McArthur, a sexual identity
(the part you see) is just the tip of researcher. With tech developments
the nice-berg. The internal clitoris making it easier than ever to omit
comprises the clitoral body, vestibular real-world relationships (think: VR
bulbs and the crura, which, like their porn, AI partners, sex robots), the
external counterparts, are made up
of erectile tissue. No wonder it’s one future for digisexuals is looking
of the body’s most sensitive zones. (ahem) fully charged.

102 | SEPTEMBER 2022

is for is for is for HPV

FLIBANSERIN GREYSEXUAL Think HPV is just
genital warts? Well,
‘Flibanserin is a new As the name suggests, think again. ‘HPV
drug advised for use on greysexuality is in a ‘grey is a contagious and
premenopausal women area’ between the usual common virus that
with decreased sexual black-and-white binaries, can affect the mouth,
desire,’ says Dr Griffiths. sitting somewhere along the throat or genital area,’
It raises dopamine and spectrum of asexuality. ‘The explains Dr Griffiths.
noradrenaline levels vagueness of the term helps to Any genital skin-to-skin
(both are important include many people who don’t contact can expose
for sexual arousal and necessarily fit into the usual you to the virus. Most
desire) and lowers boxes ascribed to sexuality,’ strains are harmless,
serotonin levels. Unlike says Annabelle Knight, a sex but high-risk strains
Viagra, flibanserin has and relationships expert. are linked to cervical,
to be taken every day. Characteristics include seeing vaginal and vulval
But it's no silver bullet. sex acts as unnecessary, showing cancer. ‘High-risk HPV
A study* found that love and affection in non-sexual does not usually cause
only 10% of women ways and having infrequent symptoms – that’s why
reported a ‘much bouts of sexual attraction, cervical screenings are
improved’ status after explains Knight. vital,’ warns Dr Griffiths.
taking flibanserin.
is for JOI
is for ISD
Not to be confused with the
Inhibited sexual desire kind elicited from a banging
(ISD) is a condition with orgasm, ‘JOI is an abbreviation
only one symptom: low of jerk off instruction’, says
libido. While it affects Bell. The premise? Someone
both men and women, gives you specific instructions
studies suggest that it on how to pleasure yourself
disproportionally affects through audio, video or IRL.
women – with 22% Historically aimed at men,
experiencing chronic JOI for women does exist –
sexual disinterest it’s just been given a more
compared with only grown-up rebrand. Google
5% of men*. A libido ‘guided masturbation’ and
that ebbs and flows you’ll find it. You’re welcome.
is nothing out of the
ordinary, but if a lack SEPTEMBER 2022 | 103
of sexual interest is
negatively affecting
your relationships and
mental health, consult
a GP. ‘ISD is mainly
psychological and
caused by stress. It’s
usually treated with
psychosexual therapy,’
explains Dr Griffiths.

is for

NON-MONOGAMY

is for KEGEL is for LABIA is for ‘A non-monogamous
TRAINER relationship is one that
Your labia are the MITTELSCHMERZ doesn’t involve sexual or
While you won’t find lips between your emotional exclusivity,’ says
this piece of kit in the legs, and you have With a name worthy Callisto Adams, a dating and
gym, it’s still a crucial two sets. ‘The labia of a Bond villain and the relationship expert at HeTexted.
part of any strength majora are the pain-inflicting capabilities ‘It allows multiple connections
training regime. The outer fold and are to boot, mittelschmerz is with romantic, emotional and
muscle it targets? larger and thicker also known as ovulation sexual involvement at a time.’
Your pelvic floor – than the labia pain. Occurring in the A study from sex toy brand
a hammock-shaped minora, which are middle of the cycle, it’s Lelo shows that Gen Z are the
group of muscles that smaller,’ says Dr usually felt on one side keenest on the concept, with
supports your pelvic Griffiths. Starting of the lower abdomen, 38% of 18 to 24-year-olds
organs. Strengthening at the top of the depending on which saying they’d consider it.
it will not only support clitoris and ending ovary is releasing the What that looks like varies:
your pelvic organs – key under the vaginal egg. Much like the dull having a primary partner
for good bladder control opening, the labia cramps you get on your and dating others; romantic
– but also improve sex protects the vagina period, the pain can be relationships of equal
and intensify orgasms. and urethra. When sent packing with some importance; or sex with
Sold? Try an electronic aroused, both sets paracetamol. But if it’s multiple people.
Kegel trainer, which swell up as blood lingering, it could be
acts like your very own rushes there, which a sign of an underlying
pelvic PT by tracking boosts sensitivity. condition. Both STIs and
your muscle movement No two labia are endometriosis cause pain
and detecting incorrect alike, and they’re that could be dismissed
contractions to identify rarely symmetrical. as mittelschmerz or
any weaknesses. menstrual cramps, so
go to see your GP if
the pain persists.

is for is for

ORGASM PANSEXUAL
GAP
In 2018, ‘pansexual’ was
Like the pay gap, but for pleasure. ‘The term online dictionary Merriam-
describes the difference in climax rates between Webster’s most searched
partners,’ says Knight. Results from two YouGov word of the day after singer
surveys found that only 30% of women say they Janelle Monae defined her
orgasm every time they have sex, compared with sexuality using the term. The
61% of men. And while women orgasm more LGBTQ+ charity Stonewall
frequently with another woman, they climax on defines a pansexual person
average 15% less than gay and bisexual men. The as someone of ‘any gender
prioritisation of penetration is to blame, says who experiences romantic
Isabelle Uren, sex expert for sex toy site BedBible. and/or sexual attraction to
‘Sex education has perpetuated the idea that sex people regardless of their
equals penetrative sex, but many women also gender identity’. Numbers
need clitoral stimulation to climax.’ are on the rise: last year, a
survey found that 1% of the
104 | SEPTEMBER 2022 global population identify
as pansexual* – and for
context, that’s about
78 million people.

is for QUEEF is for RIMMING is for SHIGELLA is for TANTRA

The awkward fart-like Put simply, rimming is An extremely antibiotic- With roots dating back more than
sound your vagina pleasuring your partner’s resistant infection, shigella 5,000 years to ancient India, tantric
makes during or after anus orally – penetration causes severe stomach sex is the merging of sexuality and
sex when trapped air optional. While some use pain, diarrhoea and a spirituality, says Jennifer Surch,
is released. Queefs may it to prepare for anal sex, fever – and cases tripled founder of the Academy of Modern
make you cringe, but it’s a source of pleasure between September 2021 Tantra. ‘The breathing techniques
they’re very common. in itself (hello, sensitive and January this year. It’s and body postures used in neotantra
The only time they nerve endings). In fact, caused by the bacteria encourage the brain to release
would be trumpeting it’s possible to orgasm found in faeces, making serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine,’
a message to see a GP? from rimming alone – it easily passed on during she explains. ‘Tantric sex transforms
If they’re happening a although it’s not quite certain bedroom antics the intimacy between two lovers
lot post-partum, or are as likely as with genital – anal sex, fisting and oral into a deep, profound connection.’
accompanied by painful stimulation. ‘But there sex after anal. Symptoms While the end goal is more about
sex, UTIs, diarrhoea or are several risks through begin a day or two after creating a connection than achieving
discharge. Help prevent rimming, including STIs infection and you could orgasm, the mind-blowing ones it
them by strengthening – gonorrhoea, chlamydia, be infectious for up to a does give you are pretty epic. In
your pelvic floor (see syphilis, herpes, hepatitis month, so seek help from other words, it's a win-win.
K) and switching up A and B, and HIV,’ shares a GP and avoid sex if you
your sexual activity – Dr Griffiths. Keep things think you have it. The V
think: less in and out, clean and consider using best course of action is
more of the other stuff. a dam. ‘This is a plastic prevention: wash hands is for
or flexible square used to and toys after sex, wear
cover the anus to try to condoms for anal and VAGINISMUS
stop infection,’ she adds. shower after your session.
‘Vaginismus is when the
is for UNICORN vagina tightens up when
you insert something into
It seems three is not a crowd. ‘Unicorns are people who join a it, causing extreme pain,’
couple without a preference for their gender identity or sexual says Jo Bailey, consultant
orientation,’ says Dr Adams. The couples searching for a unicorn gynaecologist at Bristol’s
are called ‘unicorn hunters’ – not to be confused with Steve St Michael’s Hospital. ‘A
Wozniak’s Dragons' Den-style reality show. As to what unicorns fear of pain or pregnancy,
want? ‘Anything from one-night stands to short-term relationship problems
commitment in sexual activities and even long-term bonds.’ or traumatic life events
Rainbow, glitter and horn outfit, optional. can all be emotional
triggers.’ Physical triggers
such as infections,
childbirth, menopause
and endometriosis could
also be to blame. The
good news? It’s treatable.
Try psychosexual
therapy, relaxation
techniques and pelvic
floor exercises.

SEPTEMBER 2022 | 105

is for WATER-BASED is for
LUBRICANT
XENOPHILIA
Dry chat alert: almost one
in five people experience Defined as an
problems with vaginal attraction to
dryness during sex. A decent foreign things,
lube can certainly help, but xenophilia can be a
picking the right one can be sexual fetish, too. ‘It
a minefield. ‘While oil-based represents a person’s
lubricants provide better sexual attraction/
coverage, they can make arousal to particular
condoms more difficult to people with particular
remove,’ says Dr Griffiths. cultures, languages,
‘A water-based lubricant mannerisms, and
has less effect on the actual backgrounds that
condom, making it a safer are foreign,’ says
contraception option.’ Dr Adams. Basically,
if hearing someone
is for YCT529 speak seductively
about l’amour makes
Sounds like a cyborg, but you want to rip off
it’s likely to do a lot more for their beret and whisk
your sex life than Star Wars. them to the bedroom,
YCT529 is the name of the you’re a xenophile.
compound recently found to
be effective as a male birth is for ZELOPHILE *SOURCES: INTERNATIONAL SOCIETY FOR SEXUAL MEDICINE; PHARMACY AND THERAPEUTICS;
control in mice. Retinoic acid LAURA VOWELS, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS RESEARCHER; LGBT+ PRIDE 2021 GLOBAL SURVEY
receptor alpha (or RARa, for The green-eyed monster isn’t usually
short) is a protein that plays touted as a positive. But for zelophiles,
a key role in sperm formation jealousy is key to sexual satisfaction.
and cell growth; YCT529 ‘Explained from a perspective of it being
blocks it. After administering a sexual kink, zelophilia stands for the
it orally for four weeks, sexual arousal caused by (or as a product
researchers found that the of) jealousy,’ says Dr Adams. ‘A person who
compound notably reduced resonates with zelophilia is easily turned on
sperm counts and was when they become jealous of their partner
99% effective in preventing or the person they’re sharing a particular
pregnancies. Even better, connection with – it doesn’t necessarily
YCT529 showed no signs of have to identify as a romantic connection.’
the defects associated with Talk about healthy competition…
other male birth control pills
under trial, such as weight
gain, fatigue, depression and
high cholesterol. The ultimate
coming-soon trend might
actually be coming soon.

106 | SEPTEMBER 2022



Is ‘I look
old’ the new
‘I look fat’?

When once the first rule of Botox was ‘don’t talk
about Botox’, now we’re in a new era of conversational
transparency. But, asks one tweakment-curious writer,

for the sake of our collective self-esteem, should
we think before we speak?

Words: Roisín Dervish-O’Kane

It’s 4pm on a sunny Saturday to their fine lines with injectables – and if my
afternoon and I’m surrounded by people are toying with the idea, too. It isn’t
six of my favourite women in a West long before the genie’s out of the bottle. But
Country beer garden. What was amid the shared anecdotes and insecurities,
originally ‘Ibiza 2020’ is now ‘Airbnb I sense mild frustration. No one eye-rolls or
outside Bristol 2022’. But 24 hours into our throws their head back, exasperatedly. But,
trip, and the pandemic-rusted wheels of our I reflect on the train home, could I have
12-year-strong shorthand greased, I wouldn’t blamed them if they had?
change a thing. We’ve already covered new
homes, new jobs, new boyfriends and old Here’s the thing: it’s 2022, and bemoaning
jokes when into this millennial female the circumference of your thighs or the
conviviality I drop... my face. Specifically, fleshiness of your upper arms feels like you’re
the two vertical lines that have recently made crossing some sort of conversational red line;
themselves known between my eyebrows. in some circles, it’s a cancellable offence. But
while dropping the F-word (‘fat’) into an
I know I shouldn’t care, I say, but I do. In otherwise effervescent conversation might
fact, I’m considering pressing pause on the elicit a visible eye-roll and a call of ‘can we
process via an injection and a few hundred not?’, lamenting your lines seems almost fair
quid. I get the nagging sense that I’m being game. What effect, I wonder, is this age-related
annoying; that I’m on slightly dicey ground self-scrutiny having on us? And should we
– but with curiosity outweighing my caution, all be learning lessons from the work we’ve
I press on. I’m quite intrigued to know who in already done? In short, when it comes to ageing,
my friends’ respective circles have attended should we all be minding our language?

108 | SEPTEMBER 2022



FACE FACTS too. ‘Historically, there’s been this

The velocity of 31st birthdays hitting thing where people want to look

my calendar right now might have naturally brilliant and don’t want

something to do with my current to talk about what they’ve had

curiosity towards the aesthetic done,’ she explains. ‘But that

impact of ageing, but I’m not alone; creates pressure and unrealistic

western culture is, right now, at a expectations. The more people are

particularly intolerant place with open about the things they do to

skin ageing. Back in 2012, fewer look great – saying “I’ve had this

than 20% of US women aged 18 to treatment; this is who I went to”

24 considered anti-ageing skincare – that’s really helpful.’

to be important, according to Ellie Austin-Williams, 30, is in

market research company NPD agreement. The financial coach

Group. Fast-forward to 2018 and (@thisgirltalksmoney) got heavily

over half of women in the same age into skincare during the first

bracket in one survey expressed lockdown, and her friendship group

a wish to add wrinkle-defying love to chat about Botox: whether

products to their skincare routine. that’s their experiences of the

Meanwhile, Google searches for procedure or discussing the relative

‘baby Botox’ – small doses of Botox merits of getting it in the future.

injected into your face – doubled ‘I’m grateful that my friends who’ve

between 2017 and 2022, reaching had Botox have talked about it,’

their peak in January this year. It’s she says. ‘If some didn’t develop

thought the age at which women any lines, then that would leave me

first turn to Botox is decreasing, feeling insecure or thinking, maybe

too; according to the latest data, I was missing a trick with my

while the majority of users (60%) skincare – whereas knowing that

are women aged between 45 and a couple of my friends look

54, 20% are in their thirties like me. noticeably young and fresh because

‘Younger people becoming they’ve had Botox is reassuring.’

interested in Botox is definitely Of course, not everyone is so

a thing,’ says award-winning optimistic about this shift. The

aesthetic doctor Sophie Shotter, situation is more complicated for

whose long client list reflects this 36-year-old marketing executive

trend. It might not surprise you and mum-of-two Jessica Yale*.

that, as one of London’s most She describes the topic as

sought-after injectors (in part conversational ‘forbidden fruit’

because, WH’s beauty editor Perdita among her friendship group. ‘I

Nouril informs me, ‘she does the know it’s not the most important

bare minimum’), she believes this – or helpful – topic to be discussing;

demographic shift and an increased that’s almost what makes it so

openness to be ‘a good thing’ – tantalising,’ she admits. While she

but she’s talking beyond her own always thought having anything

business bottom line. ‘Skin ageing injected into her face was a big

doesn’t always marry up to no-no, seeing more and more

biological ageing,’ she explains. examples of light-touch work on

‘The perfect time to start is when the faces of women in her wider

you can see where your lines will circle is making her question

be, and the ‘I’m fixating her position. But
beginnings of she’s conflicted –

them, but you especially because
the more cognisant
on othercan’t see them at

rest. That can be people’s she is that more
people are getting
different times for Botox, the more
she’s homing in on
different people foreheads’

– I’ve treated

someone at 23 (who smoked and what they have that she doesn’t.

used sunbeds) for skin in this state, ‘I’m fixating on other people’s

then you have women at 39 with line-free foreheads in the way I

barely any wrinkles.’ used to envy toned arms and slim

Dr Shotter sees this greater legs,’ Jessica sighs. ‘It’s taken nearly

transparency as a positive in terms two decades of adulthood to finally

of the way women think about their be at peace with my body, but now

skin’s ageing in relation to others, I’m unhappy with my face.’

110 | SEPTEMBER 2022

Even Dr Shotter – positive as
she is about the brakes coming
off Botox chat – is aware of the
unintended consequences,
especially when she’s with her own
friends. ‘I’m very careful, especially
because of what I do, because I
don’t want all my friends thinking
I’m looking at their wrinkles when
we’re having dinner,’ she shares.
‘I don’t want to give people new
confidence issues.’ I didn’t expect
the most uncomfortably resonant
bit of reporting this piece to come
mid-chat with an aesthetic doctor,
but that last sentence landed in
my gut with a dull thud. In one
sentence, Dr Shotter summed up
why I’m uneasy about my own
eagerness to spark a conversation
about ageing, insecurities and
cognitive conflicts about them
both. It’s uncomfortable because
I’ve been here before.

TALK THE LINE

Just turned 19 and reeling,
physically and mentally, from
a 10-day stint in the ICU after
developing sepsis, retaining my
sickness-shrunken size became a
fixation. Eating very little lasted
only so long before the bingeing
and purging followed. I feel sick
when I think about myself –
American Apparel jersey clinging
to my borderline-emaciated body
– commenting on my own size,
asking for reassurance from friends
who were all, to varying extents, in
bigger bodies than my own. You
know when people say about their
former selves, ‘Oh, if I could go back
to that girl, I’d give her a hug and
tell her everything is okay’? Well,
if I could go back to that girl, I’d
grab her by the shoulders and beg
that she please shut up.

This heaviness is still hanging
around when I contact Nadia
Craddock, research fellow at the
Centre for Appearance Research
at the University of the West of
England, to ask for her take on this.
‘Voicing your dissatisfaction with
your appearance, whether it’s your
thighs or your brow area, can be a
way to bond and build connection
with others, to the point of feeling
like a rite of passage [for women],’
she tells me. ‘It often stems from
a place of insecurity, thanks to
society’s warped beauty standards,
but it can also feel like an easy way

SEPTEMBER 2022 | 111

to fit in or belong because these for many, requires a bit of vocal when I occasionally catch sight PHOTOGRAPHY: STOCKSY. *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED
conversations are so normalised.’ grappling with. Especially if your of myself in the mirror.’
While I’m grateful for the reminder personal timeline doesn’t align
not to needlessly self-flagellate neatly with society’s ideal. It was tempting for me, too. So
about mistakes I made 11 years ago, tempting that, while reporting for
I want to understand if my new ‘My friends don’t really talk this piece, I decided to go for it. I
probably-shouldn’t-but-can’t- about ageing and wouldn’t humour write to you having recently had
resist conversation topic of choice me if I brought up getting Botox,’ 5ml of Botox injected into my brow
has the potential to damage my admits Florence*, who suspects it’s by Dr Shotter in a bid to prevent
own relationship with myself and not really on their minds because my ‘strong frown’ from intensifying
those around me as much as its they’ve all hit certain mid-thirties without inhibiting my many
body-focused predecessor did. ‘milestones’ (mortgages, marriages, (many) facial expressions. And…
offspring, etc). ‘When you’re I loved it. Still, with the words
As per my request, Dr Craddock operating from a of Dr Shotter and Dr Craddock
then gives it to me straight. ringing in my ears, I made a pact
‘Conversations focused on your Ageing candifferent vantage with myself: I would only talk about
appearance – particularly the treatment if someone either
highlighting areas of dissatisfaction point, especially noticed I looked different or
and/or ways you would like to explicitly asked for my thoughts
change it in line with societal when still looking confront us on Botox (or asked me to write
beauty standards – have the about it in a national magazine).
potential to leave every participant to meet your As it happened, no one noticed;
in that conversation feeling “less but when asked, in my gang’s group
than”.’ Oh. Not only do such chats long-term partner, with our own chat, where I’d landed on the issue,
encourage self-scrutiny, she adds, mortalitythose visible I told them. I’d describe the reaction
‘they also reinforce unrealistic as 50% curious, 50% bemused.
appearance standards, along with reminders that Suffice to say that when it comes
the idea that a woman’s value lies you’re getting older to navigating the choppy waters
principally in her appearance’. can sting a little more,’ the of female ageing, treatment
32-year-old consultant muses. transparency, conversational
The situation gets messier still Florence is increasingly fixated discretion – and, of course, not
when you factor in the way society on her forehead, but on the fence being annoying – I’m not sure
views female ageing. ‘[These about actually going there with I’ve found the formula.
conversations] confront us with injectables. ‘I wouldn’t be expecting
our loss of capital – our loss of it to drastically alter my self-image
value, worth and desirability as – I’m a confident, competent and
women in a patriarchal society, pretty successful person – but it’s
where women over a certain age tempting to do something that
become almost invisible,’ she might prevent that jolt of stress
explains. And for this reason, she
continues, it’s possible that signs
of ageing – and discussions about
signs of ageing – confront women
with reminders of their own
mortality, more than men. As is
often the case when asking ‘why’
with beauty, it really is that deep.

ON YOUR MARKS

But is it realistic to expect people
to stop airing their thoughts and
feelings about their physical selves
with their peers? Not necessarily,
acknowledges Dr Craddock.
Indeed, when we polled Women’s
Health’s Instagram followers on the
topic, the proportion who said they
would talk about bothersome signs
of facial skin ageing with their
friends (‘because it’s interesting to
share and hear their feelings’) was
eight times higher than the number
who wouldn’t. It makes sense:
ageing – your journey through life’s
stages, as well as how it manifests
on your face – is something that,

112 | SEPTEMBER 2022







Enjoy a slice
of Caribbean
paradise

01 I touched down at Antigua airport Nikki on a guided
on a Friday lunchtime, I was four rainforest hike to
Antigua days into a new role at Women’s Antigua’s Signal Hill
Health, with a brain busier than
What: Yoga and meditation in an out-of-office inbox. But a few
a Caribbean paradise days under the considered care
Where: Carlisle Bay, Antigua of Carlisle Bay and the talented
Who: Nikki Osman, executive tutelage of their resident yogi,
editor (print) Tara O’Rourke, returned me
How much: Three-night to myself in a way that usually
all-inclusive wellness retreat: requires two weeks’ annual leave
$2,968 (around £2,423) per room and a phone on airplane mode.
(double occupancy) or $1,972
(around £1,610) per room (single Tell me more about the yoga…
occupancy). From 7-10 October;
4-7 November; 9-12 December. An hour after arriving in Antigua,
See carlisle-bay.com I found myself moving through a
jet lag-easing gentle flow beneath
Cat-cows in the Caribbean? the wooden beams of Carlisle
Bay’s dedicated yoga pavilion. The
I’m listening… You will be. When structure, nestled amid the palm
the soundscape to your savasana trees, is a bio-phile’s dream. But it
is the Caribbean sea lapping the isn’t the architecture that makes
shoreline, it’s enough to silence this retreat so magical. I’m half a
even the most unrelenting of year into a resolution-mandated
internal monologues. When weekly yoga practice, and while

116 | SEPTEMBER 2022

I’ve got a few favourites among And when you’re not saluting Travel Well
the various teachers at the east
London studio I frequent, Tara’s the Caribbean sun? You’ll be Meditating for
generous, compassionate approach, looking out for lizards on a headspace in
it turns out, is actually the one guided rainforest hike, spotting the dedicated
that I’ve been missing. From sea turtles from a speedboat and yoga pavilion
how to move into a downward snorkelling along a coral reef.
dog with perfect form to the But my personal pinch-me
science that’s behind engaging moment came the morning
your vagus nerve during chanting, after we arrived. When jet leg
her expertise (Tara is a 500-hour stirred me from my sleep at an
certified Yoga Alliance teacher) is hour that would be best described
sure to elevate your yoga practice, as ‘unsociable’, I decided to take
regardless of the level that you’re myself off for a solitary stroll
currently at. Over four days, in along the bay’s white-sand beach,
daily and twice-daily sessions, eventually finding a perch on
each of which lasted between the dock. As the cry of the local
60 and 90 minutes, we practised cockerel echoed across the bay,
a combination of hatha and a lone turtle popped its head up
kum nye Tibetan yoga that and surveyed the scene before
was interspersed with periods disappearing back under the
of mindful meditation and water once more. I’ll never
intention setting. think of ‘turtle pose’ in the
same way again.

Nestled among
lush foliage

SEPTEMBER 2022 | 117

02 chords of The OC’s theme tune to dinner at Ventana Big Sur
kicked in (yep, we went there) as – a restaurant and hotel that
California we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge Taylor Swift and Anna Kendrick
and hit the highway, we relaxed. use to escape La La Land and
relax by fire pits beneath the
What: Forest bathing and road- Forest bathing, you say? Yes, stars – the opportunities for
tripping down California’s iconic and if heading south from San A-list celeb spotting abound,
Highway One Francisco wasn’t enough to calm particularly in Santa Barbara.
Where: The west coast of America our cortisol, it was nothing a few The two of us couldn’t resist
Who: Amanda Statham, hours beneath the redwoods taking a cruise around the
contributing travel editor couldn’t fix. Forest bathing – nearby Montecito, Meghan
How much: Flights and car hire the practice of parking yourself and Prince Harry’s new hood
from £1,001 per person, flying beneath a canopy of trees to reap (no, we didn’t spy the family
into San Francisco and out of Los the mind-body benefits of nature on a leisurely stroll with their
Angeles (britishairways.com). – has been scientifically proven neighbour, Oprah).
For accommodation options, to reduce the physiological signs
see visitcalifornia.com/uk of anxiety. And you’ll struggle And where will I stay?
to find a more fitting forest
So where does this trip actually to bathe in than this one. The I’d recommend breaking up
trees in Armstrong Redwoods the journey with stop-offs
begin? Technically, Highway One State Natural Reserve are the in cute little roadside motels
runs 656 miles from Dana Point tallest on Earth and hiking along the way, such as Glen
north to Legget. But the famous bit among them is an experience Oaks (glenoaksbigsur.com)
is the stretch linking San Francisco unlike any other. in Big Sur, where we stayed
to Los Angeles, with spots such as in wood cabins surrounded
Monterey, Santa Barbara and Big Level with me, will I see any by the imposing redwoods,
Sur in between. My friend Cathy and Lavender Inn by the
and I flew into San Francisco and celebs? You can certainly give Sea (sbhotels.com) in Santa
spent two days sightseeing and it a go. From tucking into delicious Barbara, which had a pool
recovering from the 10-hour flight clam chowder at Paluca Trattoria and a free daily happy hour
and eight-hour time difference in Monterey, where Reese and co at 5pm in the hotel’s reception.
before picking up our hire car hang out in Big Little Lies, You are on holiday, after all.
(a fancy Toyota Corolla). Spoiler:
the most nail-biting bit of the
entire 381-mile drive was getting
out of San Fran’s vertiginous, busy
roads in an automatic car on the
wrong (right) side of the road.

Eeek. Is this bucket list or death

wish? A valid question, but it’s
well worth the heart-in-mouth
moments. America’s highways
tend to be wide, open and have
several lanes, which means that
driving outside of cities proved
to be pretty chill for the most
part. The moment we popped
our playlist on and the familiar

Bathe your soul
beneath the
giant redwoods

118 | SEPTEMBER 2022

Travel Well

Your camera roll
needs this pic

COMPILED BY AMANDA STATHAM. PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES; ALAMY; UNSPLASH 03 seen. I stayed in an aptly named Drink in the flavoured with saffron, and pork
Sunset Suite – a wood and white Aegean with truffles and quince. Not
Santorini, dream with a private infinity pool feeling 10 courses? Try Pacman
Greece – and, at the risk of getting gushy, seascape Sunset – not an 1980s arcade
leaning on the edge and gazing at game-themed diner but an
What? Sunsets and body scrubs the forget-me-not-coloured sky alfresco eatery serving up grilled
Where: Oia, Santorini blending into the sea was one of the octopus and salt-baked sea bass.
Who: Megan Hess, most memorable moments of my life. And if you want to leave the
WH contributor hotel, there’s an option to eat
How much? From £394.82 And when I’m not banking at Arcadia’s sister hotel Adronis
per night (andronis.com) Luxury Suites’ famous restaurant
bucket-list views? Expect quality Lycabettus in Oia, where you’ll
Santorini… it’s for loved-up pampering at Evexia Spa, with a find more panoramic views and
handful of treatment rooms and a the kind of dishes you’ll still be
couples, right? Granted, the terrace for morning yoga. I tried The talking about in 10 years’ time
snogging stats are above average Water Path, which involved walking (frankly, my friends are sick of
on this idyllic isle. But you don’t between two Kneipp pools (one hot, hearing about the grouper in
need to be a newly-wed to book one cold) after being covered in champagne sauce).
a holiday here. After a four-hour cryotherapy wraps and a clay mask
flight, I checked into the Andronis – the hot and cold helps to improve
Arcadia hotel in the north. By day, circulation. The lymphatic drainage
it’s a tranquil escape with a side of massage to end made me feel light as
wellness, by night a resident DJ a feather. Want more? The on-site
brings the beach-club vibes. doctor offers a wellbeing plan, which
includes dietary advice, based on hair
So, I can expect sun, sea and…? profile screening (analysing a strand
of hair to determine what vitamins
Sensational views. The all-suite and minerals you’re lacking).
hotel is a short stroll from Oia,
with its famous white and blue Anything else I should know?
buildings. But its secluded, cliff-
edge location means uninterrupted The food’s as stunning as Santorini.
views of the sparkling Aegean Sea Open-air Opson has tasting menus
and some of the best sunsets I’ve inspired by local ingredients, such
as sea urchin tart, red mullet

SEPTEMBER 2022 | 119

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ROUTE TO WELLTH STATS

AGE: 35

Self Esteem JOB: Singer and composer
WORKOUT MO:
PT sessions

WIND-DOWN SECRET:

The Sheffield-born musician (real name Rebecca Lucy Taylor) talks Telly + sofa

body acceptance, living with PMDD and the sex toy she’d recommend

to anyone else looking to prioritise their sexual pleasure

REDEFINE find peace and happiness PACE INVESTIGATE AS TOLD TO ROISÍN DERVISH-O’KANE. PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES
within. I’m also a believer
At 32, I hadn’t hit society’s in manifesting – as long I recently took a much- I was diagnosed
‘successful woman’ as what you’re trying to needed holiday – and with premenstrual
milestones – buying a manifest can come true. spent most of the time dysphoric disorder
house, marriage, babies – feeling ill. I pushed myself post-lockdown, when life’s
and I felt... relief. Realising FALTER too hard and experienced consistency let me track
I could ask myself what I what burnout feels like: symptoms. For 10 days,
really want has made my The insecurity is still that sense of total fatigue I can’t make decisions or
career. I now choose which there, and it roars at and disconnection, and retain information and
projects I commit to and times. Prepping for disinterest from the things I loathe myself: it’s like
define success on my own the Prioritise Pleasure you love. I’m now putting I’m someone else. I’ve
terms. I don’t feel the need video was hopefully boundaries in place with paid for a specialist to
to hide parts of me to meet my finale of disordered my work, so that I have see what’s going on;
others’ desires or goals. time to eat nourishing I just want some relief.
eating. I drank celery meals, watch telly, read
EMBRACE juice all week and, after books and do my washing. RELEASE
filming, full-on shit myself I’ve also committed to
I’ve struggled with in my living room. Stood in restarting the PT sessions I’m bisexual, and my
disordered eating, as have my bath afterwards, I was that have slipped as work relationships with women
most of the women that I like, ‘What are you doing opportunities increased. have brought me so much.
know. It was a depressing this for?’ Since then, it’s My motivation is enabling There’s an intimacy that
reality that in my old band been important for me to my body – and brain – to makes it easier to say what
[indie-folk duo Slow Club] treat my body with respect. perform as I need them to. you like sexually. It’s helped
the skinnier I was, the me stress less about my
more opportunities we’d biological clock. My last
get. With Self Esteem, I relationship was with
have full creative control, a woman. I realised
and it’s been important that we’d need
to me to celebrate my intervention from
body: it’s not plus size; science if we were
it’s not small; it may go to have a child.
up or down a stone. It’s
a healthy size 14 and, for ENHANCE
some reason,
that feels If you’re looking
radical. to enhance sexual
pleasure – alone
CARE or partnered – I
can’t recommend
I spent the Naked Grapefruit’s
majority of my First Base vibrator
twenties hating enough. Seriously. I’ve
myself and rejecting gone through about nine
self-love. Now, at 35, I’ve of them – try setting four.
had weekly therapy for If I’m having sex with a
several years. I’ve also man and don’t come, I’ll
done yoga, reiki, sound reach for one; the only
baths – anything to try to reason I wouldn’t have
done that historically
would be to try to look
cool. But sexual pleasure
is fucking cool – and
so is asking for it.

Follow Rebecca on IG

@selfesteemselfesteem

122 | SEPTEMBER 2022