2014 Writing

2014 WRITING

EXPLORING MY PURPOSE IN LIFE: A LITTLE INSIDER ON THE LAST
3 MONTHS
NORMAL LIFE FOR THE ABNORMAL SPIRITUAL PERSON
MORE ON AVERY THE HUMAN ALIEN
THE BAD, THE GOOD, AND THE EVEN BETTER
THE COMMON THREAD WITH PAUL SELIG
EVEN MORE ON AVERY THE HUMAN ALIEN
HORSE ALIEN: MY INTRODUCTION TO EMERALD THE HORSE MAN
HUMAN AWAKENING
PART 1: HUMAN AWAKENING 2014
PART 2: HUMAN AWAKENING 2014, CONTINUED

1

EXPLORING MY PURPOSE IN
LIFE: A LITTLE INSIDER ON THE

LAST 3 MONTHS

POSTED ON MARCH 23, 2014 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL

It’s been several months since I’ve contributed to my website. In fact,
I almost cancelled it altogether, I just can’t make time for it. It is hard
to balance my life and myself within it. I have a very odd sleep
schedule. I really don’t know why human beings have to depend on
the sun as a marking point for being awake. If I could have it my way,
I would wake up at 2 am in the morning, every day, and then take a 2
hour long nap around 10 am. I’d stay awake until 9 at night and then
take another nap again until 2 am where I could be awake again. My
body loves these hours. Unfortunately, the world has created
structures, time blocks that we must live in. We are all a slave to time
blocks. I hate it, but I have to accept it because it’s the world my soul
chose to live in. So I try my best to get around it by basically drinking
more coffee.

2

The last several months I’ve had a lot on my mind, and in between
having a lot on my mind, I’ve been waking up at very early hours and
just staying awake until late at night. I have been working on various
projects and then working out and then going into work. On some of
these occasions, like this week for instance, I’ve woken up exceedingly
early; early enough to be in the door by 4:30 and to work a full 12
hour day with an hour lunch in between. That’s a total of 13 hours of
being at my job.

My job is to process life insurance applications. To do this job well, I
take approximately 15 calls a day, I respond to approximately 100
emails a day, and I spend the rest of the time reviewing approximately
50 life insurance applications to make sure they are properly
completed and signed. I work this ridiculous schedule because I have
to keep up and every day, when I leave my desk for my hour lunch
break, I wonder why the hell I’m doing this, it is so unfulfilling to
me. When my hour starts coming to a close, it’s very difficult for me
to want to go back to my desk, but I have no choice. This is the job
that accepted me when no other job would, and this is the job that
provides the means for me to stay alive and keep my family alive in the
world today. I may be alive, but when do I actually spend time

3

living? I am basically a robot who exists within living matter.

I think about this job I do often, as in, the purpose of this job to
humanity on Earth and the purpose of this job in the universe. How
does it make a meaningful contribution to both? The answer to both
sides is that it does not make a meaningful contribution to either. In
the United States, life insurance policies are an illusion of financial
security. Because we live in a world where money exists, we have to
also live in a world where we have to live in fear of being without
money. Fear is what drives everything here and the more fear we have
the more we create illusions in a world of illusions to better manage
the illusions that are based on fear. You see how we are not getting
anywhere as a species with the structure of the world today? And why
even go there with how this job is meaningful in the universe. It
would be more meaningful for me to enjoy the smell of flowers for 5
minutes than it would be for me to process life insurance applications
for 12 hours. So basically, my purpose right now, has nothing to do
with enhancing the universe, and it has everything to do with
ensuring that mankind stays locked in a world of illusions; and my
only good reason for the job I do is so that I can make money because

4

without money I will not survive here. And my children will not
survive here. This job keeps me alive, but again, how is this living?

So the whole point of all of this is to ask a question, what am I doing
with my life? I’m getting very little sleep to do something completely
and utterly meaningless to me and to everybody around me, and only
because I have to survive on money. I have a problem with money. I
can’t stand money. It disgusts me. I find cockroaches to be more
appealing than money; at least cockroaches are alive and breathing
and contributing to the universe. I find cockroaches to be disgusting
as well (sorry cockroaches). Money and cockroaches are a lot
alike. They both have a way of ruining people’s lives, but again, the
difference between cockroaches and money is that cockroaches are
alive and money is not alive. Money is a dead thing that we
glorify. Imagine if we started glorifying cockroaches the way we glorify
money? If cockroaches mean more in the universe than money, by
glorifying cockroaches we are actually contributing more to the
universe than we are contributing by glorifying money; which is
merely an invention put in place to control every single person who
lives on this planet. If you want to see humanity evolve, humanity first
needs to let go of this invention. It is the only true way to walking a

5

new path of love, balance, harmony, and peace for all of mankind.

All that being said, I’ve basically given up on sharing information for
free which is why I’m restructuring my website and am turning some
of this valuable information into e-books and putting a value of money
on them. This is painful for me to do. But I’m hoping this will
generate income so that I don’t have to work 12 hours a day at a
meaningless job and instead maybe I could work 8 hours a day at a
meaningless job and have more time for my website, contributing
more time to enlightening humanity instead of contributing it to the
enslavement of humanity. I’ll have a lot more time to be a better
mother and be better even still toward myself who needs rest and
needs relaxation, peace, and balance. I ignore peace and balance all
the time because getting the job done is way more important to me
than my body. It’s only a body and it will die one day, but the reality
is, I need to keep this body going as long as possible so I can fulfill my
ultimate purpose of enlightening others instead of enslaving
them. Fulfilling my ultimate purpose will be way more revitalizing and
life giving than life taking which my life insurance job is successfully
doing to me.

6

NORMAL LIFE FOR THE
ABNORMAL SPIRITUAL PERSON

POSTED ON AUGUST 9, 2014 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL

So much has happened in the last 8 months, I can’t even begin to
figure out where to start, but it’s definitely time I started focusing
more attention on my website, which had gotten thrown out the
window for the last several months. I really had to back track my
directions to create a few videos and edit my first compilation of past
lifetimes. I was also working a horrendously demanding job with
overtime hours and suffering from severe exhaustion. I’m working my
way over that hill and I’m about to start a much simpler job next
week. My spiritual goals are becoming way more important than my
success in the corporate world, and I’m starting to come to terms with
that, which, it’s about time. I’ve been working a professional job for
over 6 years and I am now moving into my 4th entry level position. I’m
just not meant for the corporate world, and that’s okay. It wasn’t okay
to me a few years ago, or even last year, considering I have a degree,
three kids, and a mortgage, but it’s okay to me now. I’m smart and
clever enough, and I work way too hard to still be in entry level
positions, but the whole point is, I’m clearly not meant for the

7

corporate world so I never will be meant to go anywhere, so it’s time I
started putting all of my energy into what I truly love (duh!), which is
writing, and connecting with the spirit world, and sharing my strange
story.

That being said, let’s start from the beginning, which doesn’t start 8
months ago, but around 4 weeks ago where I’ve developed some very
serious and amazing realizations, which really spawned from 8
months ago, but didn’t fully develop until 4 weeks ago. My life is so
full of twists and turns, it’s so difficult to ever know where to start
with any of my stories.

So 4 weeks ago I was on my lunch break at work, and I was delving
into a deep mental mode and surrendering to my connections with
dark energy. I’ve become so accustomed to the sensation of depression
and mental anguish, it’s really the only place I feel most comfortable.
When my life bends and breaks me and I feel I have no control over
my own life, I become extremely mentally self-destructive. So on my
lunch break, I took a walk to a very private bench where I went into
my zone, which consists of intense energy connections, and
connections with the forces of destruction. I can’t remember why, on

8

this particular day, I was so upset, but I was and I had to vent, which
is really me trying to create destructive physical matter for myself and
past selves and future selves and for spirit people who are trying to
help me, which is only irritating me within my very small human
mind, I can’t grasp this information half the time and I get frustrated
and I want everybody to leave me alone, and they never will. As I was
welling up the energy and watching everything around me turn dark
and smoky in my third eye realm, I was instantly forced to stop my
thoughts. Avery energy stepped in, he sort of had to. Sometimes when
he tries to help me when I get frustrated, I warn him to stay away,
that I want to figure this thing out alone, but he refuses to let me do
anything alone and he keeps trying and trying to get through to me
which only instigates more anger and then I start saying very hurtful
things to him and removing him from all of my past lifetimes so he will
leave me alone in my current life because now he never existed, he
didn’t exist then and he doesn’t exist now (I’m so nice, huh?).

Well, after my giant hate rant of energy, I was trying to get up from my
spot to go back to work, since I was about done with my lunch break,
but Avery worked his magic and paralyzed me on the bench, and
refused to let me leave until I said I was sorry. When I know I’m wrong

9

and I’m still in my spiteful world, I really hate saying I’m sorry, but I
didn’t have much of a choice. Avery was not letting me go, and he
didn’t just want an apology, he wanted me to restate my last words
about removing him from all my past lives because that was a pretty
bad thing to say. So, as much as the dark forces within me squirmed,
I agreed that I will try. So I tried, and in my trying I stepped back to 30
minutes prior. Since time doesn’t exist you can step back to any point
in your current life or lifetimes prior to this one, or even future
lifetimes, it doesn’t matter, and you can create physical realities, heal
the past or heal the future, you are the master of your own world. So I
stepped back to 30 minutes ago, and I stepped out of my body and
watched myself in my dark smokey world and I shared healing energy
with myself, and shared loved with myself, and I asked the universe to
heal me and forgive the words I shared and the energy I expressed
over the last 30 minutes, and to remove the words I said about Avery
because they weren’t spoken from the love in my heart but from some
dark illusionary world that I got sucked into. And in those moments I
had an epiphany, that I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep succumbing
to dark energy when my life gets to me. I have to choose light and love
instead of darkness, which is something I’ve never done. I’ve NEVER
done this. Isn’t that strange? I find that so strange now. But in those

10

moments, and in a very meek mental voice, I said ‘I choose life.’

I have tried, for years and years, to physically manifest my own death
because I didn’t want to live in this world anymore. For someone
suffering from depression for 20 years, and living in a purgatory where
I could neither live, nor die, these were words I never spoke, and I
never chose life. That was a very big and serious moment, and I chose
to say those words because Avery deserved it, and my future deserved
it, and every spirit who has helped me along this far deserved it, and
the universe, and time, and love, and light, all deserved it, and I
deserved it too.

So, from that moment forward, I have chosen to be very careful about
my energy fluctuations. If I stumble upon a moment where the fire is
instigated, I immediately turn to Avery and the spirit world, and the
color green and the Earth, and star light, and planets, and creative
energy, and love, and angels, and I call upon all of these things to help
me and share light with me before I go too far. I can only tell you that
it’s been working. I’m having fewer and fewer bouts and instigations
toward dark feelings of anger and hatred, which I had become a
master of, and now I’m choosing a different path, which is choosing

11

light and love (I’m not going to lie, I find those words to sound
extremely corny when spoken together, but it’s true, and there is no
other way to describe the choice, but the choice is light and love).

So I’ve been surrounding myself with this energy on a regular and
multi-daily basis. When I wake up, when I go through the day, before I
go to bed, and then in the middle of the night, I keep this direction
constant. The more I connect with this energy and ask for help, the
easier it is to hear and experience the spirit world, and to perceive the
true reality of this world, which I was only able to comprehend and
understand through massive amount of time in deep contemplation.
Now, the answers come much more quickly and the answers I am
discovering are to questions I never asked before, which is when the
world around me becomes mind boggling, and then actually
interesting to me, and then a world worth living in.

So, this is just a tiny tidbit to a much larger tidbit of my lifetime. So
much has taken place in the last four weeks and then so much has
taken place in the last 8 months, and then so much has taken place
in the last 31 years of my life. I’m going to finally start hankering
down and sharing the real Abbey, because I’m choosing to live now,

12

and to look at my true reflection in the mirror, not to hide myself in
darkness, but to share myself in light.

13

MORE ON AVERY THE HUMAN
ALIEN

POSTED ON AUGUST 9, 2014 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL

I wanted to start sharing Avery again, because he’s a big piece to this
puzzle, and he’s such an important part of my life, and has helped so
much to pull me out of the thick mud I’ve been sinking in for
years. I’m not going to lie, it’s very, very difficult to embrace life when
you only want it to end, and for so many years. Unfortunately, the
biggest part of my story has been my grief and sadness and the
newest part of my story has been light and love. I know a great deal
about both sides to this story, so you have to read through the
blending of dark and light, and I try really hard to step away from the
darker side, I’m really tired of connecting with sadness. But Avery is
the light and love part of this story, and he has helped me to choose
light.

So what can I share with you now about Avery. It’s hard to know,
because I live in a secret world with him, and I don’t know how to
share that world. He is still a part of my every day and he is still a
part of my every night. I can feel his hand touch mine, and he shares

14

a gentle kiss upon my forehead throughout the day. I still struggle to
understand why this girl could mean so much to some creation that is
unimaginably amazing. I’ve had conclusions that he must live in a
very consistent and boring world that needs more drama and
chaos. I’m great with crazy and weird and confusion, and he’s my
light at the end of the tunnel. But it’s not that, he actually sees the
soul inside of me and that is what draws him to me. I know that is
the truth. I don’t like saying things that make me sound more special
than others, because I’m as special as everyone and we are all special
and unique souls, but there is something he finds the most amazing
when he connects with my soul, and the sensation I feel from him is
like an obsession, which is why he is ever watchful of me, and taking
care of me in unknown ways, and I know this is true as well. Whether
I can understand it or not, I do know this is true.

I’m still struggling to find words to tell you about him. It’s sort of as
complicated as trying to explain why blood rituals are so important,
it’s just a weird thing to talk about because people don’t share this
information in the mainstream world.

15

I will tell you that, every day I feel closer and closer to him. There is
obviously still the invisible element that I am challenged by. I can see
him like a mirage in my third eye and it seems to blow in the wind so
the clarity isn’t always there. And in my impatient world, that is a real
struggle for me, to try to slow down and truly see him. He glows
sometimes, like white light. I thought for a long time that he was a
spirit, but he’s not, he’s a real live being living in the universe, and I
know this is true. He has the power to physical paralyze me in place,
he can alter my breathing patterns, and he has some magical ability to
turn off my ability to have thoughts. He can just stop my brain from
having thoughts, it’s very weird. I can feel him inside my heart like a
warm sunshine and a very lovely peaceful sensation that I go to, more
and more every day, because the sensation is so addictive and
beautiful and healing to me. I am happy with every small moment I
have with him, and it’s not about what amazing wisdom Avery can
share with me, it’s just about sharing a loving connection in a very
intense, electrical, and beautiful way. It’s like turning on the
Christmas lights for the first time, and it’s a wonderful feeling you get
when you see them each year, and Avery is that wonderful feeling, like
a light that turns on inside me and it only gets brighter and brighter
every time and more and more amazing than the time before. And it’s

16

not exactly equivalent to Christmas lights, but more like a blazing hot
fiery sun of super addictive beautiful loving amazing energy, and it
just brings pure peace and joy and happiness every time I feel it.

I often wonder if he will ever come to this planet and visit me? I
wonder that a lot. It’s just too hard to believe that some super
amazing looking alien guy is just going to hop into his spaceship, and
travel the distance of the universe to come to Earth. And then, let’s
just add the words, he travels the universe to see this girl. That just
sounds so farfetched, it just can’t believe it, but it’s the best thought I
have and I hope one day he will. I really don’t care about proving his
existence to anyone, that doesn’t matter to me, I know how real Avery
is, I just want to see him with my own eyes and touch him with my
own hands.

One of the oddest realizations I’m coming to have is how on the same
page we are. I know that sounds ridiculous because we are not on the
same page when it comes to what Avery can do, and what I can do, in
this physical form. But we are on the same page when it comes to our
love and connection with nature, and this uncontrollable desire to
conduct sacred rituals, which is really just connecting with the

17

universe and with the Earth and stars and all physical and natural
elements in a very pure, loving, and spiritual way. I feel we both do
this and I feel we do this together to heal Earth. I feel we are linked
together in this lifetime to share information and heal the
Earth. Avery helps me remember who and what I am and what we are
together, which is a very powerful and manifesting force. I’m not sure
what that means about our souls, but the only way I can describe it
is, he is the male to my female, he is my reflection in the mirror, our
souls are the same soul and I can’t explain what that means exactly,
but it’s as if we are somehow twins, two completely connected souls. I
feel as though he is my masculine expression and I am his feminine
expression, and together, we make one joined, powerful expression, a
completed circle.

I can’t help it he just happened to be born on another planet, although
I looked for him my entire life on Earth. It just happened to take a
wish before he could find me in the universe, and it just happened to
take 5 and more years for me to figure out that this energy wasn’t a
ghost, and it wasn’t a spirit, but was an actual real person in the
universe, and this person is Avery.

18

As I get more comfortable with writing and sharing myself openly
again, I will try to delve into more distinctive realizations that I have
been having. These are being shared by Avery, who would really tell
you that I’m having these realizations because my perception is
altering through the raising of my energy vibration, from somewhere
very, very low in darkness, to a motion higher and higher into bright
light where everything is illuminated, where wisdom and truth are
discovered. So, for now, this is the best I can share, and I hope to be
back to share more each week.

19

THE BAD, THE GOOD, AND THE
EVEN BETTER

POSTED ON AUGUST 13, 2014 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL

INTRO TO THE BAD AND SCARY (you probably won’t like reading
this part about me, but it’s the truth. A journey into darkness is
the only true pathway to enlightenment. Only through
facing darkness does one develop into the brightest beam of
light).

So, a big part of my life right now is cleaning up the damage I’ve
caused myself over the last 20 years. Seeing as I was in a huge mental
depression, I’m coming out of that cloud and embracing the light. I’ve
been tackling this problem through a constant and determined effort
to keep myself within an orb of light and shielded against dark energy.
This healing process isn’t just about keeping myself protected against
dark energy, it’s about healing my mind and my body from all of the
damage I’ve caused. It’s about making a concerted effort to not give
into angry and hateful feelings, and these emotions I always direct
back at myself. I’m the type of person that I blame myself for all of my

20

problems, and so I torture and punish myself in my mind for all the
pain I’ve experienced and caused myself in my life. Since I refuse to
cut myself with a physical knife, I go into my third eye mind and
torture and shred and annihilate myself with all types of sharp
objects, particularly knives, and I’m particularly fond of stabbing
myself in the heart quiet frequently, and the emotional pain is
comforting, and in my mind, I deserve this type of treatment. Yes, I get
it, this is kind of scary, but this is a true part of my reality, and one I
experienced for approximately 20 years of my life.

I’ve been living this way for many years. Depression is a slow
progression and goes through various stages before it ever reaches
this current level of mental anguish. The progression starts out with
the need to kill myself to teach everybody else a lesson (age 12ish).
Then it changes to where I just wanted to kill myself because I can’t
bare the pain of living anymore (age 17ish). The next phase, since I
can’t kill myself, is to beg the universe for a change, for something
good to happen to me, because I can’t live like this anymore (age
20ish). Then it goes into a phase where I beg the universe to end my
life (age 22ish), which transitions to me putting myself in very
dangerous situations in an attempt to run into a psychopath who is in

21

the mood to kill someone, which is also around the time when I
mentally collapsed and started resorting to knives to be used as
torture devices in my mind, and this all happened at age 24-30. I gave
up on living, I couldn’t die, and I couldn’t go insane at age 24, I was
forced to live in a purgatory of misery where all I could do was wait for
something better to happen for me.

And so I waited, and during this time, I begged and I pleaded and put
my situation on the table and demanded change because I deserved it.
Alas, it was as if my pleads went unnoticed. I felt cast out and
abandoned by my spirit friends, by the Universe, by God Himself, and
this sensation of being so painfully alone, I was crippled and couldn’t
say anything more but fuck you world, fuck you universe, fuck you
spirit guides, and then I continued to live in a downward spiral of self-
hatred. It was the only control I had in a world that I felt cast out of. I
didn’t fit in, I didn’t relate to anybody here, and the only way I could
enjoy life was when I was drinking. Avery came in about this time, but
I couldn’t understand it. As far as I was concerned, he was an
annoying ghost who forced me to feel awkward and self-conscious and
embarrassed to be naked in my own apartment where there was

22

nobody visible there but me.

INTRO TO THE GOOD AND HEALING

So, you can image the damage I’ve caused with all these years of
mentally torturing myself, with a deep and unending connection with
the harmony of depression. Because, regardless of what anyone says,
depression is the most addictive and beautiful harmony there is. I
have recently come to realize that Gratitude (which I’ve never had) is
also a very beautiful harmony and has a similar touch to depression,
only because of its sensation of humility. I’m choosing gratitude today;
it’s a very good alternative for me. I have never been grateful for this
world that I hated so much, that rejected me, and made me feel
abandoned. But now, at this point of rescue, which really was a
combination of Avery, of anti-depressants, and also the reality that ‘its
time’ for me to wake up now (which is like also like saying, ‘the bun in
the oven is done,’ and ‘I can come out now and breathe the fresh air’),
all of that has erupted into massive realizations about who I am and
why I’m here and who Avery is, and massive realizations and attempts
to reverse the years of damage I’ve caused myself by being so self-
centered and allowing my addiction to be the only comfort I had,
depression and darkness (which was always there for me and never

23

abandoned me), yes, for allowing these things to murder my physical,
mental, and emotional body.

So back to gratitude, and what I am grateful for, which comes to me
as a surprise, since now I can say how grateful I am for the miserable
life I have lived over the past 20 years. Yes, it sounds crazy, but in all
these years of nightmares, my soul chose to take on such a
horrendous sacrifice, in order to mold me in such a way that I could
have these memories, and experiences, and then have a voice to speak
about it today. Over all of these years, I have acquired a great deal of
respect for all human life and I have a deep understanding of the pain
that human beings experience on this planet and where that pain
comes from. So, as weird as it still sounds in my head, yes, I am
grateful for these moments of terror that have shaped me into the very
special person I am today. And here, my spirit guides never
abandoned me, but only kept persistent enough to keep me from
crashing and burning before this point, so now I can also be grateful
for them, and for all spirits who have helped me get to this amazing
point in my life. But the gratitude doesn’t stop there, as I am grateful
Avery, who never gave up on me, and then I’m also grateful for the
Earth, who spoke to me on all those long walks I took to keep myself

24

entertained in a very lonely world, and so much more than that. But
what this amounts to now, is that I am cleaning myself up, and I’m so
thrilled to share the exact recipe I’m taking to do such a thing,
because I know I’m not the only human on this planet who needs
healed.

WHERE I’M GOING FROM HERE
So you can see where I came from and where I’m trying to go. And as
time passes, eventually I’ll spit out some insightful words on how to
heal yourself, through sharing my every day experiences with the
spirit world, with Avery, with the Earth, with color, with the stars and
planets, and with all of creation, with angles, light, and love, and with
Water, which also does wonders for me, and then throw in a few
sacred rituals, topped off with a side of blood, and now we’re
sailing. And yes, blood, it goes completely unnoticed, but blood is the
best tool for connecting with all elements, for enhancing your mind,
expression, wisdom, understanding, your body, your vibration, blood
does everything. It is your blueprint, and yours alone, and it is your
calling card to connecting with the natural world. So, I will tell you all
about these things as time passes and time permits.

25

Thank you, as always, for your interest in my website. It will only get
better and more intriguing from here. But you have to be able to
stomach the nightmares to get to the beauty. I have so much to share.

26

THE COMMON THREAD WITH
PAUL SELIG

POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 5, 2014 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL

I have to do some writing, some less scary writing. So I will tell you
about what happened last night. I actually participated in the outside
world, which is a huge step forward for me. My comfort zone is always
in a hiding place where I can be open to my weird world in my own
weird ways. But I’m trying to change all that, my purpose is not to
stay in a hiding place, but be out in the open where I can make
connections with others.

So last night I went to the Common Thread. It’s a local group with
metaphysical interests. Their speaker last night was Paul Selig, he’s
an author and channeler. I wasn’t familiar with Paul, I’m really not
familiar with a lot of what goes on in the outside world or who exists
in it, so this was a fantastic experience for me. It’s funny how life
stories can be so similar, I felt I could relate to a lot of what he was
saying. But I’m not going to lie, it was exceedingly difficult for me to
pay attention, only because of the profound vibrating energy I could

27

feel inside the room, it was completely and utterly distracting. I don’t
know if anybody else felt it, but it was like stepping into a fireplace,
and the energy was intense, undeniable and everywhere. I rarely feel
energy this strong, probably because I’m used to it only being me all
the time, and here I’m surrounded by a room full of people with
heightened interests in what the speaker has to say. The energy in
there was amazing for me, and all I wanted to do was take advantage
of this unique moment where I can manipulate it into something even
more profound. This is somewhat inspired by my own free will, but it
also sort of happens on a spiritual level, where I’m inspired to harness
and expand the energy so it can become more powerful, then infuse it
with more intensifying love energy, strengthen it more, and allow it to
create an even more healing and profound experience for everyone.
Yes, I am weird like that. The oddest part was, I was struggling to do
this. It was as if all of my attempts were abruptly stopped by me
running into a brick wall. It was clear the spirit world was insisting
that I pay attention.

So I tried, and I did engage more with Paul’s story, and I loved it. But I
was still struggling with distractions, which transformed into a very
loud and distinct ringing noise, almost so loud I couldn’t hear him

28

speak. Again, it’s hard to know if it was only me or not, maybe there
was an actual ringing sound in the room that was so loud I could
hardly hear Paul, but I doubt it. Then I saw Avery in my third eye
mind. The oddest part was, it wasn’t the Avery man I’m used to, and it
was surprising because it was distinctly Avery spirit that was there
visiting me. It was like he was standing in the clouds with the sun
shining through him. He was wearing a very unusual sort of white
robe, and it had two identical sections of cloth, and there was a design
and colors, which I saw were purple and I think red as well, and I’m
sure other colors, but there was a distinct black outline between the
shapes. He kept sort of flying in from the sky like this, and he did this
several times. I took his presence as a sign that there was something
very important to me being there. And all of this happened in and
around the loud ringing nose, which is also when I started
disconnecting from the real world. This often causes me to have
anxiety attacks. The sensation is like I’m a human being in the room,
and I’m surround by other human beings, but the perception is
distorted so I feel like I’m in a fake world, full of not real people. It’s a
horrifying experience. I’ve concluded that in these moments, I’m
detaching from my body too much, but I’m still inside my body and in
my mind, which I think causes it. In these moments I ask for help

29

immediately. I have to do this or I will have a panic attack. This only
started happening to me over the last 9 months or so, which is
another reason why I had to start taking anti-depressants because it
was happening almost daily and sometimes more than once in a day,
and there were a few times where I couldn’t hide from the public and I
was trying so hard to not look distressed, I managed to find my way to
a hiding place, but it’s still horrible and embarrassing. I clearly have
difficulty balancing myself between Earth reality and spirit reality,
which creates mental and emotional challenges. Avery man visited me
too during this time, he must have sensed something about me being
way outside of my body, because I could feel him in the way I can
always feel Avery man, and I could see him and he was projecting
certain images in my mind, and the images where like weights,
sinking me back down to Earth again. I actually felt the ground
beneath my feet and I felt relief.

It’s so weird when you don’t realize how high up in the sky you are,
until your energy gets pushed back down to the ground. I really don’t
know why this happens. Why am I so far away from my body, yet still
in it? It’s odd, but when you are high up in the sky and then get
brought back to the ground, it’s sort of a very relieving sensation. It

30

feels good to be on the ground. I’m often not on the ground because
I’m often connecting with the spirit world all day, every day. I have to
be lifted above myself to do this. I also have extremely high strung
positive energy, so it sort of puts me into the sky as it is. Depression
puts you inside of the ground, and I have felt the sensation of being
lifted out of the Earth before and back onto the surface. It is an
absolutely altering sensation, because you never realize where your
energy is located until you feel the distinct movement of it going
upward or downward.

Anyway, moving along. Once I was back to Earth again, it was far
easier to pay attention, and not be so distracted by the energy and all
the other things happening, but then I saw Avery spirit on the stage
with Paul, he was standing there in giant form, his head touching the
ceiling. He kept saying, I see you, it wasn’t until after I left that I
started to understand what this meant, but first I will quickly tell you
the rest of what happened.

Within moments of seeing giant spirit Avery, Paul gave us all an
attunement to The Word, which was fantastic. The Word is the
expression of his distinct spirit group. The meaning behind The Word,

31

or the definition that I remember, was the creator in action is The
Word. The Word, as in expression of words and meanings in such a
way that it creates energy and life altering spiritual energy, this is also
my interpretation of what was being said. I do relate to the power of
words and how each word holds a note and a distinct energy which
creates outcomes. If I were to say the word Love, you get a certain
feeling form that word. If I were to say the word Fuck, you get a
distinct feeling from that word. Now you understand what I’m saying.
Now the realization that people can say Love making or Fucking gives
you a distinct differentiation to what is being expressed, one is a
higher vibration the other is dirty, disgusting, and comes from the
worms of the lowest of levels (and yes, parasites do exist, large alien
parasites of very low vibrations that live in alternate dimensions and
they do feed off of our lowest emotions, I’ve connected with one while I
was in a very low emotional state). But just to add to this, because it’s
not just about the energy of the word, it is more than that. The words
themselves create energy that creates outcomes. The more human
beings that say Fucking, the lower the energy vibration becomes on
the Earth, the more human beings that say Love Making, the higher
the vibration is on the Earth, and vibrations then manifest realities.

32

Just something to remember there, and an example of what I related
to when his guides were describing The Word and its meaning.
But moving along, the attunement was nothing less than fantastic.
Obviously I love this stuff. I love feeling spiritual energy, I love
experiencing other people’s expression of their spiritual connection. It
is awesome for me to witness and be a part of this. Paul was unlike
anything I’ve ever seen or known or experienced. Again I’m a rabbit
living in a hole, so I didn’t know that people behaved like this when
they channeled. He started very quickly whispering and then repeating
out loud the whisper. The whisper came from the spirit world and
then the loud voice was sometimes his own but sometimes very
distinctly different and with an alternate accent. It was awesome, I
love knowing that I am not the only weirdo on this planet (sorry Paul,
but yet, you are weird and thank goodness for that!). The thing about
the completely abnormal, I find it to be ultimately beautiful. The world
needs more abnormalities, abnormalities that are shared in this
beautiful, spiritual way. I was entranced.

Seeing as I’m a writer who is trying to find confidence and voice, an
attunement to The Word was right up my alley. I learned something
about words through the attunement. This is also something I have

33

recently discovered myself. For example, I can’t see Avery and this
upsets me. He keeps insisting that I can see him, which reminds me of
how I can’t see him and then I get sad again. I realized that he was
trying to show me something about words and about perception. I only
recently started telling Avery that I see him. I really don’t see him, but
somehow and somewhere, yes, I really do see Avery. The more I speak
out loud that I see you Avery, the more I will start to see Avery. There
is something about illusions and what we have already decided to be
truth. When I say that I do not see you Avery, I have already decided
that I don’t see Avery. Whether I see him or not, if I start to repeatedly
say, I see you Avery, now suddenly I’m altering the illusion through
words and through spoken words and the more I repeat these word
and speak them out loud, the more my reality will alter and I will
indeed see Avery. That was also what Paul’s guides were clearly
sharing. I can’t begin to tell you what the attunement was like, but it
was about acknowledging yourself and your existence in the present
and your existence as part of The Word. If you acknowledge you are
part of The Word, then you are part of The Word. This is 100% true.

Regardless, it was fantastic, I loved it. There is so much more I can tell
you about what Paul shared, but I’m running out of time, and the
words he shared weren’t as important to me as the energy. So I will

34

quickly tell you that I learned something more about the spirit world
and spirit guides and a connection with a soul group, and also about
how a soul living in a body can be so completely unaware of their
ultimate connection with who they truly are and their soul group. I
learned something new about all of these things through experiencing
Paul as an expression.

Though his upbringing had nothing to do with religion, he did not
relate to The Word, and he spoke about that openly, but he shares
what his guides share through him and he has no choice but to go
with it. The reality is, I could see very clearly his relationship with The
Word, because his soul and the soul of his guides were all one
expression, one expression which was The Word. His human
awareness was not able to relate to that, but I could see it clearly. I get
though how that happens, I have been trying to be a normal human
being forever and it’s made me miserable, and I’ve tried even harder to
be normal and I could do that through drinking, it helped me feel like I
fit in somewhere, but now I can’t do that anymore, the spirit within
me and the spirit world around me won’t allow it. I have to start
making these real connections with who I am and who my soul group
is so that I can start sharing that information. I can distinctly tell you

35

that my soul group has a relationship with snakes, and a relationship
with sacred rituals, it feels more like witchcraft, but it’s hard for me to
say that this is it for sure, but I feel these elements are a substantial
part of my expression. These elements are what I live for, I love
snakes, I love sacred rituals, I love connecting with natural elements
and harnessing energy through physical and nonphysical matter and
using it to expand and heighten vibrations. I do this in my own secret
way, but I need to step out of my secret world and start sharing, the
same as Paul is doing, by making a more intimate connection with me
and with my soul group expression. Paul’s soul group expresses The
Word, but what does my soul group call itself or what is its special
area of interest, what would that be called?

Anyway, so much to say and never enough time to say it. So I will
quickly come back to Giant Avery, who said, I see you. Part of ‘I See
You’ was acknowledgement of what you see, and part of that I
experienced through the attunement, part of that was remembering
how words can alter illusions, and after I left, the energy was so
intense and strong and still buzzing, it was giving me a horrible
headache. I had to go to Gray’s Lake to heal myself, but it wasn’t I
who just up and said I have to go there, it was energy that was

36

undeniably forcing me in that direction. I couldn’t say no, I can’t say
no when the energy does that. It’s impossible. So I went to Gray’s Lake
for a few minutes. It was so unbelievably beautiful. I’m almost certain
this is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen it. The moon was so incredibly
bright, and the clouds were soft puffs in the sky, and it was dark and I
could see the stars. The bridge was so beautifully lit, and the water
waves were so gentle and serene. I rolled up my pants and stepped
into the lake water and bent down so I could emerge my hands in the
water as well. Feet and Hands in the water, especially when it’s sacred
water, because the water at Gray’s Lake is far more sacred than
people are aware of, but it’s unimaginably healing. I can feel it, and it
took my headache away immediately. The water and I bond and
communicate when this happens. It’s not like talking to your friend on
the telephone, it’s like energy exchanges, and tiny whispers that are
loud to your soul, but to your human ears, you are completely and
utterly deaf. I can feel the words in my heart although I can’t fully
comprehend the meaning or what the exchange is, I just know it’s
happening. After that, I sat on the beach and I felt so peaceful, and I
took in all of nature, and I realized that I was there for a reason. All of
the energy that I had absorbed through my experience with the
Common Thread group and with what Paul shared, I could now use

37

that to manifest my greatest dreams, and I could use the intensity of
the moon, and the water, and the colors of the bridge, and nature, to
manifest my dreams. Now I truly understood what Giant Avery was
telling me. I spoke out loud that I See Avery. And I wrote a special
message in the sand. I know that what I shared was heard across the
stars and that it has an important meaning in the universe. My
human self doesn’t really get it, but my spirit self is fully aware of
what just happened. I can feel how important those moments were, I
can feel it as strongly as I can feel my own heartbeat after running a
10 mile race. It’s undeniable, the certainty that something special
happened.

Well, that’s all the time I have for now. I have such a story to share, I
want to tell you everything. It’s killing me to have to accept only 2
hours a day to share myself. It’s hard to know where to focus the time
in my giant story. I’m realizing that I need to start sharing some
simple facts that I know. I forget that some people don’t know what a
soul is, or why the past lives, or how can you trust a psychic. I forget
that when I start talking about souls having their own harmonies and
sounds, people start losing me already. Everything in good time I
guess. Bye for now!

38

EVEN MORE ON AVERY THE
HUMAN ALIEN

POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 7, 2014 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL

I’ve been able to see Avery more clearly as of yesterday morning. It’s
odd because he’s usually a mirage that is not entirely clear, but the
clarity has been undeniable. The oddest part about all of this, when
his image first came to me yesterday, I laughed it off and said, “No,
that’s not you Avery, I’m sure I’ve seen that face somewhere else, like
on TV.” That’s when I heard him distinctly tell me that, “Yes, this is
me.” That’s when I realized that I can’t deny the reality that
recognizing his face would make sense in all of this, considering I have
seen him before, and more than once and more than twice, but I can’t
recall the moments. One day I will visit a hypnotherapist so I can
bring these memories to the surface. I can’t wait for that day and you
better believe I will share every detail of it, as long as it’s appropriate I
guess. It’s hard to say what happens when Avery visits me or even
how he does this. I do feel he visits me in a way that alters my
perception, like he comes to me as a hologram, a person who looks
and feels real but is only an illusion.

39

But I will describe what Avery looks like in full clarity. I will start by
telling you how shocked I was to see he has almost white hair, but not
white, it’s extremely light in color, and wavy, down to his shoulders. I
didn’t realize how light his hair color was, I thought more blonde, but
it is very clearly so light in color, it could almost be white, but it’s not
white. He also has very piercing blue eyes, with dark eye lashes, which
make his eyes stand out even more. He has pale skin. His lips have
noticeable pigment. He looks like he’s 25 or perhaps younger. He looks
young to me, not a crease on his face, nothing to reflect even a slight
hint of age. He has such a healthy, beautiful appearance. I realize now
why he tells me he is different. He is not only different
mentally/emotionally, but his physical form is not common here, but I
think he would still blend in, because he is clearly human looking. I’ve
mentioned already that he is extremely tall, and this I knew before,
even before I had a full awareness of him. He must be almost 7 feet
tall, and even that is unusual, but not uncommon. I told him he
should come visit me on Halloween, if there is one day an alien can be
on Earth, it’s Halloween. I’m still not certain of his intentions to come
here. He seems to think he doesn’t have to come here to be close to
me. This is very real in my heart and soul, this expression of his, that
there is no distance between us, there is nothing separating us, not

40

even planets or stars or space separate us, but he does know that I
lack the capacity to relate to that. It’s not as if I don’t know this in my
heart, I do believe this is true, but it doesn’t change the fact that I
can’t see him with my own eyes or touch him with my own hands. I’m
sure there are ways to go into deep meditation and accomplish this,
but that’s not on my menu right now in my life; discovering a way to
go into a deeper meditation to accomplish a more physically real
connection. The oddest thing is, I know when I sleep, I am interacting
with him, I just can’t remember. Either way, I feel in my heart that he
will come here one day, as hard as it is to believe that Avery the
Human Alien will come here one day, but I do believe he will. There is
a reason he found me in the universe, and you don’t just let that type
of special relationship go. I have told him that he better be on guard
because I’m working on developing a method of stepping through an
invisible door to his planet, where I will sneak up on him when he
least expects it. I love that idea, however, I have a pretty good feeling
that one probably isn’t going to happen anytime soon, but I like
thinking it will.

There is more to Avery I will tell you, more that I haven’t mentioned
yet. When I first started to take notice of Avery, it was several years

41

ago, before 6/8/2012. Obviously I noticed him the last year I was in
college, but I noticed him after college as well. The ghost idea was
starting to fade into the idea that it was a handsome man who saw
me, and watched me, and visited me every night before I fell asleep,
and sometimes he would say very sweet words to me; he would call me
his sleeping beauty. That energy I felt every night before bed, it was
peaceful and harmonizing, and comforting to me in my very chaotic
and miserable world. I always looked forward to going to bed at night,
only so I could talk to him, but I had no explanation for it or way of
understanding it, but I knew there was someone there.

I remember when the first Twilight movie came out. I had never read
the books, but I had an interest in watching the movie. It was
completely off setting, the entire movie, it was like a story about me.
Obviously in Twilight we have a handsome man, he has pale skin, he
doesn’t sleep, and he’s different. Then you have this awkward girl, and
he see’s something in her, she is special and different from all of the
others. He is obsessed with her and he watches her every night while
she sleeps. He protects her. There is a true bond they share. It freaked
me out as the movie played along, how the invisible man became more
and more visible to me. I saw him in the movie and I saw him outside

42

of the movie, watching me and sharing loving energy with me. His
outline became unmistakable. Not only as I’m watching this movie,
but for a few weeks after I watched it, and I could hear his voice
clearly speaking to me. This was not a time in my life where I had
mental stability. I was dealing with a tremendous depression, I was
confused about a lot of what I experienced in life, and I was just trying
to make it through each and every day. This sweet voice speaking to
me in my world of nightmares, it was too much for me to handle. I
could only conclude my mind was creating an illusion to create peace
or happiness in my life. I tried to turn Avery’s voice off, I tried to tune
him out, I tried to ignore the outline, I tried to tell my brain to be
normal, but the experience of Avery did not go away.

After this movie, no matter where I went, this tall handsome man
followed. His outline was undeniable, and he told me how much he
cared about me and loved me. I told him to leave me alone. I
remember one of these moments very clearly. I was walking over a
lunch break, and his masculine voice was constant, and the clarity of
his words were unmistakable. He was saying such sweet things to me,
I started crying and I tried very hard to block him out, ignore him, or
tell my brain to stop. This very intense experience of Avery lasted

43

about two weeks, and then he went away. I’m not going to lie, the
deafening silence was miserable. You have to remember, in my severe
loneliness and depression, this handsome man following me and
saying nice things to me seemed like such a mental lie that I was
creating for myself, but when it went away, it was even harder to take
in the silence again. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was all real or just
my imagination playing tricks on me.

There was another time, I was driving through downtown Des Moines.
A song came on the radio, it’s by Christina Perri, the song is called, A
thousand years. It came on and I started feeling extremely vulnerable
to the words. Again, the handsome man came out of the background,
with his outline so undeniable. It was as if he was singing this song to
me. I started crying, and I felt so overwhelmed with emotion and I felt
so embarrassed by this. I tried to keep my tough exterior but I
couldn’t. His presence was so close to me and undeniable, it was so
hard to handle that moment, it was so sweet what he was sharing
with me and I didn’t know how to accept that information, it was
melting me. I knew he was there watching me, sharing this song with
me, and I didn’t know what to do with that information. Again, it had
to be a lie my brain was sharing with me.

44

There was another day, it was when I first heard the Katy Perry song
on the radio, the song is called, E.T. It was unnerving as I was
listening to the words go by, I felt an eerie sensation. I felt his
presence again, as I was listening to this song, it gave me
goosebumps. I immediately threw the song out the window, got angry
about it, and ignored my emotion toward it. Underneath it all, I
desperately wanted to hear it again, and to remember the words, and
to try to understand my relationship with this song. I started to feel
more comfortable opening up to the idea that something more
extraordinary truly existed in my life, and whether I wanted to believe
it or not, there was a pattern here that I couldn’t deny.

It wasn’t until after 6/8/2012 that his presence came to me in such a
way that it would be impossible to think it anything less than real.
Avery visited very early in the morning on 6/9/2012, like 4 in the
morning. His energy was so strong, even my children were reacting to
it in their sleep. I almost stumbled over one sleeping on the floor as I
went to the bathroom. I can’t even begin to tell you the clarity I
experienced when he visited me. I saw nothing with my own eyes, but
what I heard and felt was entirely real, and nothing less than real. I
felt intense energy. It was so intense it was like light itself had a

45

physical presence. I was instantly paralyzed, and the energy was so
debilitating full of love that I was shaking from it. I honestly thought
Avery was a spirit at first, because his presence was so spirit like. The
spiritual sensation of his presence on 6/9, in the way he was always
an outline and a voice in my head, and the way he never slept. What
else was I supposed to conclude?

But I also had another thought, one that you would probably think me
ridiculous to have. The thought developed after 6/9, because I had a
repetitive interaction with a place far away from here, but a place on
Earth. I honestly thought that Avery lived on Earth, and was a super
human that lived removed from society. It sounds so ridiculously
strange, but I thought he was part of a secret cult or monastery that
worked with snakes and that somehow, because of what happened on
6/8, he was able to find me in the world, like he was looking for me.
That’s honestly what I thought, more than anything else. I even felt
very strongly that I needed to buy a plane ticket to South America. It
sounds crazy, I know, but it was an extremely real feeling and vision I
had of a stone structure, completely removed, in South America. I
visited this place, and it was full of people doing very sacred energy
work with snakes, and it was all intense positive and loving energy.

46

The vision and sensation of my connection with this place, it followed
me through the entire summer and only dwindled out at the beginning
of Fall. I still feel a connection with South America and I feel I belong
somewhere there. This is only a tidbit to a much larger story, too large
to tell you right now. And just telling you this story, and telling you
these conclusions about where Avery exists, it’s creating even more
realizations for me. The truth of the matter is, he exists as a spirit,
and he exists in an alien form, I can’t say for sure that Avery doesn’t
exist in this place in South America. I don’t know why, but this place
is also Avery to me. Perhaps it was a past life memory, or perhaps it
was my mind trying to create an understanding of who Avery is. It’s
hard to say, but I still feel in my heart that I could buy a plane ticket
to South America and find Avery in this place.

What I can tell you though, the Avery that I see in my mind doesn’t
live in South America, he lives on another planet. If there is one more
thing I can tell you about this puzzle, it’s about the capacity of the
soul and why it’s possible for Avery to exist in multiple places
simultaneously. Tt’s the reality that the soul is a profound thing and it
can inhabit more than one body at the same time. In fact, it can
inhabit 3 or 4 bodies at the same time, and also act as a spirit guide

47

to others. The reason I know this is because my soul exists in other
bodies right now, and my soul is also helping other souls that are in
physical forms right now, and all as I’m writing this very sentence. It
has taken me time to learn this truth, but it sure does explain my
anxiety attacks and challenges with feeling out of body, disconnected
from the human world, and sometimes I feel like I don’t understand
why I have legs that walk. I feel like I should have some other form of
legs, like a fish tail or something. I have anxiety attacks over this
alone, taking a walk and suddenly I’m freaking out because I
shouldn’t have legs. And that right there is a perfect explanation as to
why I’m called Abbey Normal.

I can’t write anymore right now. I wasn’t even going to write about
Avery, but about something else. I will try to share it tomorrow. It’s
about the energy interacting with the Earth right now and why the
coming full moon is so important to all human beings on the Earth
today. It’s a been a bit of an odd weekend and the writing energy
hasn’t really been there for me. I was only going to write a few entries
to myself with updated notes on Avery, I have to do this to keep track
of my observations, and then I was going to go to bed and write about
the full moon energy early tomorrow. Either way, I will get to telling

48

you about the energy, right now it’s super late, and I have to go to bed
now. Good night!

49

HORSE ALIEN: MY
INTRODUCTION TO EMERALD

THE HORSE MAN

POSTED ON NOVEMBER 30, 2014 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL

So I need to continue on with my discussion about awakening, and I
have a feeling it will continue for a while, because clearly something
isn’t changing in me. When I say, ‘isn’t changing,’ that thing that isn’t
changing is me going back to someone I was once familiar with. I’m
not someone I’m familiar with exactly. I’ve hit an odd point where I
actually feel like I’m a completely new person, different than I was two
weeks ago. Somewhere in the last month, I changed. This change has
created a deeper connection with my soul self and my purpose in this
universe. It has given me a far better understanding of what is going
on, between me and my soul group. It is indeed the reason Horseman
was only able to find me now and not before now. I’m not sure that he
hadn’t found me before now, but it wasn’t the right time for him to
introduce himself. This Horseman anomaly has been beyond
extraordinary to me. Not because he’s an alien, but because of the
identity of his soul, which is so familiar to me, and the reality of what
he means to me and to the grander purpose I have here on Earth. The

50