NEW
PsychologyVOLUME2
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TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND
FOR A HAPPIER, HEALTHIER LIFE
“THE MORE OPEN 132pagesOAFDEVXICPEERT
WE CAN BE, THE
DECLUTTER
MORE POWER YOUR LIFE
WE HAVE” FREE
MIKA YOUR MIND
SIMMONS
ON BREAKING THE
TABOO
OF WOMEN’S
HEALTH
SMALL CHANGES
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PsychologyVOLUME2
Now
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND
FOR A HAPPIER, HEALTHIER LIFE
Understanding human behaviour and mental processes, whether our
own or those belonging to others, is essential if we want to make better
decisions and lead happier lives. Why do we feel certain emotions in
specific situations? Why do we behave in particular ways? And what can
we do to overcome the things that hold us back? Delve into the world of
psychology and build a better relationship with your mind. Learn how to
be kind to it, unlock its full potential and use it to your advantage.
In the pages that follow, we explore 10 of the world’s most unethical
psychology experiments, the nature versus nurture debate, and sibling
rivalry. We also look into what makes us shy, why we lie, the reasons we
laugh, and the benefits of being bored. We consider ways to improve
our mental health, such as saying goodbye to social media, making and
breaking friendships, and the benefits of meditation. We also look at the
psychology behind concepts such as fight or flight, the placebo effect and
bystander behaviour. Packed full of expert guidance from psychologists,
counsellors and other professionals, we also speak exclusively to actress
and activist Mika Simmons about breaking the taboo of women’s health
and the importance of talking. The mind is a powerful tool. Learn how to
take control of your own mind today for a happier, healthier tomorrow.
VOLUME 2
Psychology
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CONTENTS
8 30 40
YOUR BRAIN POWER MEMORY & RETAINING WHY DO WE LIE?
INFORMATION
16 44
32
WHAT MAKES US SHY? DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE
5 MEMORY
MYTH BUSTERS
34 50
THE NATURE VS IT’S A
NURTURE DEBATE LAUGHING MATTER
20 52
BREAKING THE TABOO THE BLIND EYE
OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
56
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF
THE CLIMATE CRISIS
6 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
64 CONTENTS 102
5 FACTS ABOUT 84 THE PLACEBO EFFECT
HYPNOSIS
THE BENEFITS
66 OF BOREDOM
HOW TO NAVIGATE 88
SIBLING RIVALRY
IN ADULTHOOD YOUR BRAIN ON MUSIC
70 108
10 UNETHICAL WHEN EATING
PSYCHOLOGY BECOMES AN ISSUE
EXPERIMENTS
90 113
76
GRADES OF GRIEF UNDERSTANDING
BREAK UP WITH NIGHTMARES
SOCIAL MEDIA 94
114
78 COMPLEX LOSS
DECIDING IS DIFFICULT
COGNITIVE BIAS 96
120
PSYCHOLOGY NOW THE POWER
OF FRIENDSHIP FIGHT OR FLIGHT
FLIGHT
FIGHT
124 © Getty Images; Mika Simmons © Ruth Crafer
MEDITATION &
THE BRAIN
7
YOUR BRAIN POWER
YOUR
POWER
20 things you need to
know about the human
body’s computer
WORDS LAURA MEARS
1 How fast does the brain work?
Brain speed is difficult to measure, but scientists from MIT think they have an answer. To test the processing power of the
visual cortex, they flashed images for fractions of a second to see if people could recognise them. Before the test, they
expected the brain to take 100 milliseconds to decode the information. But afterwards, it became clear that our brains
can work almost ten times faster, decoding entire pictures in as little as 13 milliseconds. How does that compare to a
supercomputer? Current estimates from benchmarking experts suggest that the brain is up to 30 times faster than IBM’s Sequoia.
8 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
YOUR BRAIN POWER
Emotions 5 Why do we
help us to have emotions?
cope with the Emotions have lots of parts. The
situations that first is the physical response in
triggered them the body: the tears, the laughter,
and prepare for
the future the sweating, the heart beating faster. The
second is the change in the way we think,
2 How do we 3 How much like heightened senses when we’re afraid
determine energy does or recalling old memories when we’re sad.
the smartest the brain use? And the third is the change in our
species? The brain uses around a fifth of behaviour, perhaps avoiding dangerous
Designing tests to measure our energy: about 400 calories situations or repeating actions that made us
happy. Emotions help us to cope with the
animal intelligence is a challenge that every day. That might sound like a lot, but situations that triggered them, they help us to
scientists have been working on for decades. it’s actually surprisingly efficient. Its power prepare for the future, and they send signals
The simplest way to assess intelligence consumption is around 20 Watts, barely to the people around us, strengthening our
is to measure the size of the brain; in more than a low-energy light bulb. The social bonds.
general, the bigger the brain, the smarter brain uses around two thirds of its energy
the animal. But this isn’t always the case. to send messages, and the rest for DEVELOPING
maintenance and repairs. EMOTIONS
Other tests involve looking for signs
of intelligence that we recognise 4 What is ‘grey 3 MONTHS
in ourselves: the ability to delay matter’?
gratification, to recognise oneself in a You can think of the brain as Small babies like to be held.
mirror, to make and use tools, to solve being a bit like a telephone They cry when they’re put
problems, and to respond differently network. The bodies of the down and feel safer when
they’re picked up.
to different individuals. The tests try to brain cells are the callers, sending and
get at whether animals can make reasoned receiving the signals, and the axons are the 6 MONTHS
decisions, or whether they’re just learning wires, linking the network together. Like real
patterns and responding automatically. wires, brain cell axons transmit signals using As they get older, babies start to smile and laugh.
electricity. To stop the signals getting They start to get used to being by themselves.
crossed and to help the messages move
faster, the axons have insulation. Known 9 MONTHS
as myelin sheaths, this insulation contains
layers of white-coloured fat, visible inside Older babies start to trust the
the brain as ‘white matter’. The bodies of people looking after them, but begin
the cells don’t have this insulation, so they to show fear around strangers.
appear grey.
12 MONTHS
By their first birthday, babies start
to learn to read emotions from
facial expressions and tone of voice.
2 YEARS
Toddlers experience strong emotions,
but don’t always have the words to
express what they’re feeling.
3 YEARS
Older toddlers begin to learn
the names for basic feelings,
like happy, sad and scared.
4 YEARS
Young children start to use
more words to describe their
feelings and begin to
develop empathy.
5 YEARS
Five year olds are aware of the
feelings of others, and of the
different ways people react to
the same situations.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 9
YOUR BRAIN POWER
7 How different
are human and
chimp brains?
Chimpanzees are some of the
most intelligent animals on the
planet, but as smart as they are, chimps’ brain
power pales in comparison with our own.
Our brains are three times bigger than
theirs: this huge size difference is down to
changes in our cerebral cortex, the region
responsible for processing, planning and
intelligence. We’ve got around double the
number of brain cells in there, and they
make more connections.
6 Why do we the brain 9 Can gut
dream? is free to bacteria
Many scientists think that explore new really control
dreaming has something to do connections your mind?
with the way the brain makes on its own There are trillions of microbes
memories. The brain learns by making in every millilitre of your digestive contents,
and strengthening connections between and they have a direct line to your brain.
different neurones. This allows us to make Changes in gut bacteria influence mood and
sense of the world around us. During the behaviour. The gut’s enteric nervous system
day, we do this in a way that’s guided by sends signals upwards via the vagus nerve,
incoming sensory signals, but at night, this and bacteria seem to be able to interfere with
influx of information stops. With the input
turned off, the brain is free to explore new the messages.
connections on its own. This allows it to
make connections between facts that weren’t PSYCHOLOGY NOW
previously linked up, helping us to solve
complex problems.
BETA
Fast, low-amplitude waves reveal a brain hard at work.
They happen when we’re awake and engaged.
ALPHA 8 Why do we
become
Slower alpha waves happen when the brain is forgetful
resting. We’re still awake, but we’re relaxed. as we get
older?
DELTA
Around two in five people start to
These slow, long waves happen when the brain is lose their memory after the age
resting; you’re fast asleep but not dreaming. of 65. The brain gets smaller
and levels of serotonin and
THETA dopamine start to fall, and
this seems to affect our
Large, slow theta waves, signalling dreaming and ability to make new
daydreaming, occur when the mind is disengaged. memories. Changes in
metabolism and blood
GAMMA supply can also affect
the way we think.
When you’re dreaming, bursts of gamma waves cut
through, representing new connections forming.
10
YOUR BRAIN POWER
10 How does the 3 WRITING 4 MEMORY
brain store
memories? THE MEMORY RETRIEVAL
The brain’s short-term memory
storage is in the prefrontal cortex, the The cerebral cortex The brain reactivates
part of the brain behind the centre of the forehead. The passes the information the connections written
left side of this region lights up when we’re working with to the hippocampus, into the cortex by the
words, and the right when we’re remembering spatial which controls the hippocampus, retrieving
patterns. Longer-term memory storage happens elsewhere writing of episodic the pattern stored by
and falls into two main categories: implicit and explicit. memories. the original experience.
Implicit memories are unconscious, like muscle memory,
and they form in the cerebellum and the basal ganglia. 2
Explicit memories are conscious, and they can either
be episodic (things that happened) or semantic (facts). 4
They’re formed by the hippocampus, which takes 3
on the role of ‘writing’ the data into the brain,
often when we’re sleeping. It does this by
strengthening connections in the neocortex,
on the very outer surface of the top of the
brain. It also talks to the amygdala, the
brain’s emotional centre, tying in the
feelings that the memory evokes.
1 INCOMING 1
INFORMATION
Incoming sensory and
emotional signals light up sets
of brain cells in different parts
of the cerebral cortex.
2 MEMORY
STORAGE
The hippocampus
encourages neurones to
make or strengthen their
connections, linking the areas
that form the experience.
Implicit 11
memories are
unconscious...
Explicit memories
are conscious
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
YOUR BRAIN POWER
11 What’s a
stroke?
Strokes are like heart
attacks, but in the
brain. These medical
emergencies happen when the blood supply
to a part of the brain suddenly stops, often
due to a blood clot or a bleed. Without
oxygen, the brain cells start to starve and
die, so the faster the blood supply returns
to normal, the better. Drugs can be used to
help to dissolve blood clots, and surgical
procedures can help to remove them,
minimising the damage. If someone suffers
from a small stroke, the brain can sometimes
repair itself, but larger areas of damage can
have lasting effects. These differ depending
on where in the brain the stroke happened.
1 12 Why 13 What
FATTY PLAQUE can’t we does the
consciously brain need
Lumps of fat, cholesterol and calcium can control to stay
start to build up inside the blood vessels. our bodies? conscious?
2 Voluntary control comes from the cerebral We can try to understand more about
NARROWING consciousness by looking at what
cortex, but not all our systems receive their happens when it’s gone. We tend to lose
The plaque takes up room inside the blood consciousness when the blood flow to
vessel, slowing the blood flow as cells try to instructions from that part of the brain. the brain stops. This can happen if blood
pressure drops, during a stroke or if there are
squeeze past. Directions to move our muscles come from problems with the heart. So the brain needs
oxygen to stay conscious. But we can also
3 the motor part of the cortex, putting them lose consciousness as a result of a general
CLOT FORMATION anaesthetic. When brain cells send signals,
under conscious control. But directions to our they usually get feedback in response, but
As the slow blood scrapes past the rough under anaesthetic this feedback stops. The
edges of the plaque, a clot can start to form. internal organs come from deeper structures, effect seems to be strongest in the cerebral
cortex, which handles thinking and memory.
4 like the hypothalamus.
BLOCKAGE
When a clot forms inside the vessel, it can
completely block the flow of blood.
5
STROKE
If the blood flow stops, part of the brain can
become starved of oxygen and the cells can
start to die.
Strokes
happen when
the blood
supply to a
part of the
brain suddenly
stops
12 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
YOUR BRAIN POWER
14 How does 15 How does 16Can we
the brain sleep affect become
control brains? brainier?
bodily Sleep lets our brain In total, we have around
functions? activate its self-cleaning 86 billion brain cells,
The internal organs do their jobs without programme, bathing nerve cells in fluid and wired together by 10 trillion synapses.
too much help from the brain, but there are sweeping away the molecular debris of the We learn by making new connections in
times it needs to intervene. Signals from the day. Lack of sleep can lead to a buildup of this network, changing the strength of old
brain help to ensure the organs are working waste, slowing brain cells down in the short connections, and pruning connections
together to meet the body’s current needs. term, and increasing the risk of brain disease we no longer need. Most of this rewiring
The brain controls the organs using a two- in the long term. happens before our tenth birthdays. As
part set of nerves called the autonomic we get older, our ability to make new brain
nervous system. The ‘sympathetic’ part of this Sleep lets cells and new connections decreases, but it
system gears the organs up for fight or flight, our brain doesn’t disappear. Take black-cab drivers for
and the ‘parasympathetic’ part calms them activate its example, the memory centre of their brains
down so that they can rest and digest. self-cleaning physically grows as they learn to navigate
programme London’s streets. So if you keep on learning,
WHAT CAN THE BRAIN you’ll be brainer.
CONTROL?
The sympathetic and
parasympathetic nervous systems
make small adjustments to our
internal organs…
STOMACH
When the brain triggers a fight or flight
response, it tells the stomach to stop churning.
LIVER
A signal from the brain tells the liver to
release glucose into the blood when we’re
angry or afraid.
PANCREAS
A rest signal from the brain tells the pancreas
that it’s time to start making digestive enzymes.
KIDNEYS
The brain can change urine production and
alter the amount of salt and water that
the kidneys reabsorb.
ADRENAL GLANDS
When the brain sends fight or flight signals, the
adrenal glands flood the blood with adrenaline.
ABDOMINAL BLOOD VESSELS
The brain can send blood away from the
digestive system and towards the muscles
when we need to stop churning.
SALIVARY GLANDS
The brain can turn saliva production on when
we’re resting, or off when we need to run.
LUNGS
The brain can relax or constrict the airways,
and match airflow to oxygen demand.
SMALL INTESTINE
When the brain prepares the body for fight or
flight, contractions in the intestines slow down.
LARGE INTESTINE
When the brain sends signals to rest and
digest, activity in the intestines increases.
BLADDER © Getty Images
The brain can stop the bladder releasing
urine when we’re under stress.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 13
YOUR BRAIN POWER
17 What do the different parts of the brain do?
The brain has three main zones: the forebrain at the top, the midbrain deep inside, and the hindbrain underneath,
close to the spinal cord. The hindbrain is the most ancient part, and it handles the most fundamental parts of our
biology. The brainstem controls breathing, swallowing and heartbeat, and the cerebellum looks after fine-movement
control and muscle memory. The midbrain coordinates more complex information. The hypothalamus keeps a
constant check on the body, making minute adjustments to maintain a steady state. The limbic system handles emotions, and the
hippocampus controls our memories. The forebrain looks after the most complex processes of all. The cerebrum is by far the largest part
of the brain, and it does the thinking. It has two halves, each divided into four lobes. Together they handle sensory information, reasoning,
planning and emotional control.
1 FRONTAL 1 7 12 10 FOURTH
LOBE 2 VENTRICLE
4
This pair of lobes This fluid-filled space
control thought, 11 sits inside the brainstem,
reasoning and 9 draining cerebrospinal
short-term 6 fluid into the
memory. They spinal cord.
allow us to
imagine, plan 14
and respond.
13
2 LIMBIC 5
SYSTEM 3
This is the emotional part of 8 10
the brain. It drives our feelings of
pleasure, pain, fear, anxiety and love.
3 TEMPORAL LOBE 11 THIRD
VENTRICLE
The lobes near the ears process
auditory information and also handle The third ventricle connects
auditory memory. the lateral ventricles to the
fourth ventricle.
4 LATERAL VENTRICLE
7 CORPUS CALLOSUM 12 PARIETAL LOBE
These fluid-filled, horn-shaped cavities
sit on either side of the brain. This bundle of fibres connects the left This lobe handles most incoming
side of the brain to the right. sensory data, including taste, touch
5 PITUITARY and movement.
Known as the ‘master gland’, this 8 BRAINSTEM 13 CEREBELLUM
hormone factory sends chemical
messages into the blood, controlling This ancient part of the brain looks after The word cerebellum means ‘little brain’.
the other glands in the body. essential bodily functions like breathing It helps to coordinate movement and
and heartbeat. store muscle memory.
6 HYPOTHALAMUS 9 THALAMUS 14 OCCIPITAL LOBE
This acts as a thermostat, internal clock, This part works as a junction box, This lobe, at the back of the brain,
appetite controller, water regulator and routing incoming and outgoing primarily processes incoming data from
hormone centre. information to the right place. the eyes, and handles visual memory.
14 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
YOUR BRAIN POWER
19 What is
brain
freeze?
The brain can’t feel
pain, but its outer
covering (the meninges) can. When the
blood flow here changes, it can really
hurt. The main artery that supplies the
brain is the carotid artery; it runs up
through the neck, close to the blood
vessels inside the mouth and throat.
When the blood here gets cold, the
anterior cerebral artery behind the eyes
can start to widen. Cold can also trigger
the trigeminal nerve, which also affects
the blood supply to the brain. Warming
the mouth lets the blood vessels return to
normal, helping the pain to subside.
18 What makes Studies 20Do we
a person of twins and need all
intelligent of adopted of our
or stupid? children brain?
The most famous suggest that In 2009, doctors
way to measure intelligence is the IQ test. IQ is an equal
Developed in the 20th century, it attempts combination described a girl in Germany who was living
to assess people’s ability to perform certain a normal life despite being born without
mental tasks. People who get one question of nature the right hemisphere of her brain. In 2014,
right are more likely to get the others right, and nurture a similar story emerged about a woman
even if the questions are of a different type. in China who had been living without her
This is known as the ‘general intelligence cerebellum. The developing brain has
factor’. It’s less about remembering facts and an ability called ‘neuroplasticity’, which
more about being able to think abstractly, allows nerve cells to take on new roles. This
use reasoning and solve problems. Studies incredible ability enables doctors to perform
of twins and studies of adopted children a procedure called a hemispherectomy. In
suggest that IQ is an equal combination of rare cases of severe epilepsy in children,
nature (genetics) and nurture (environment). surgeons can remove half of the brain to stop
So far, scientists have found more than 500 the seizures. Amazingly, the other half adapts
genes with a link to IQ, but we still don’t to take on its jobs.
really know what makes some people
smarter than others. © Getty Images/ grivina/ CSA Images/ Chris Madden/ Kauriana
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 15
WHAT MAKES US SHY?
WHAT MAKES US
Being shy can
impact the way we
live our lives, but
is it a trait that
can be overcome?
Or do we need to
learn to embrace
our shyness?
WORDS JULIE BASSETT
G oing to parties, giving
presentations, attending
networking events or after-
work drinks… These social
interactions are just part of
normal life for so many people, passing
by without too much consideration. But
for those who are shy, these engagements
can feel more like challenges, or hurdles
to be overcome, which fill a person with
apprehension and anxiety.
Shyness is a quality that is found in
cultures around the world. It’s often grouped
in with other conditions and traits, such as
social anxiety (see boxout above right) or
introversion, but it is distinct from both
of these. Shyness isn’t a phobia of social
situations in the same way that social
anxiety is, and an introvert often prefers
16 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
WHAT MAKES US SHY?
SOCIAL some people Results from an earlier study, conducted
are naturally in 2010 by a team of American and Chinese
ANXIETY more prone scientists, suggest that around 20% of people
to shyness are born with Sensory Perception Sensitivity
While shyness and social anxiety than others (SPS), which can manifest as being inhibited.
share many traits, they are not SPS may account for some cases of shyness,
the same thing. According to the real or imagined social interactions,” he wrote as well as other traits such as introversion or
NHS, social anxiety (or social in an article for the American Psychological conditions like social anxiety.
phobia) is “a long-lasting and Association in 2017. “Specifically, these
experiences must occur to the degree that But there is much more to shyness than
overwhelming fear of social it produces enough discomfort to interfere any neurological explanation. The trait is
situations.” It is an intense fear with and inhibit one’s ability to perform often linked to the way we think other people
and can have a very big impact successfully in social situations.” perceive us, focusing our anxieties inwards.
on everyday life. It’s normal to Low self-esteem can be a trigger for shyness:
worry about going into social He identified three different components to we don’t value ourselves and therefore
events or new situations, but shyness, which broadly included the physical assume we have no value for others, limiting
social anxiety is more severe. It effects (a raised heart rate or ‘butterflies’); our engagement in social situations. But it’s
can cause panic attacks, physical the cognitive reactions (self-consciousness, not always about low self-esteem; shyness
symptoms like feeling sick or negativity, lack of self-belief, worry that is often triggered by a worry about how we
heart palpitations, constantly everyone is watching, or the fear of doing are thought about by others: ‘Will I say the
worrying about doing something something wrong); and finally the behaviours wrong thing?’ ‘What if I react incorrectly?’
exhibited (avoidance of situations, not ‘What if I accidentally drop something?’ In
wrong, a dislike of being speaking up, or limiting eye contact). the moment, these are very real worries and
watched and a general fear concerns that are difficult to brush aside.
of normal everyday activities
that might involve interaction Nature or nurture?
with others. Social anxiety can
sometimes be linked to other There is evidence to suggest that some
mental health issues too, such people are born more prone to shyness
as anxiety or depression. For than others, but it’s not down to a specific
those who find their shyness ‘shyness gene’. A 2012 study from Vanderbilt
overwhelming or if it’s impacting University (published in Social Cognitive
on daily life, speak to your GP to and Affective Neuroscience) found that there
see what help is available. may be a link between shyness and deficits
in two key areas of the brain: the amygdala
time alone to re-energise, turning down and hippocampus. This is caused by what is
invitations through choice, not worry. Shy known as ‘habituation failure’, when a person
people often want to be able to interact with doesn’t adapt to new stimuli. Researchers
others, to take part in events or give confident monitored the brains of the participants
speeches, but find themselves unable to do while they were shown pictures of unfamiliar
so, consumed instead by a sense of dread, faces multiple times. For the participants
anxiousness or uncertainty. considered to be uninhibited, these areas
of the brain were triggered when the faces
The late Bernardo J Carducci (1952–2018), were new, but the response declined the
a professor of psychology and former more times they saw the same faces (a
director of the Shyness Research Institute at process called habituation). However, for the
the Indiana University Southeast, USA, was participants considered to be inhibited, the
an internationally recognised researcher same areas of the brain continued to respond
in the field of shyness. His main area of to the faces, regardless of whether they were
study was in finding ways to help people new or being shown again.
overcome their innate shyness. “Shyness
can be defined as the presence of anxious “This failure to habituate provides a novel
reactions and excessive self-consciousness neural mechanism for understanding the shy
and negative self-evaluation in response to and cautious behaviour that is characteristic
of inhibited individuals,” explained the
study’s lead author, Dr Jennifer Blackford.
“Individuals who familiarise more slowly
may find encounters with new people
overwhelming and thus avoid new social
experiences, whereas those who adjust
more quickly may be more likely to
seek novel social experiences.”
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 17
WHAT MAKES US SHY?
Without intervention, this negative self-talk Shyness shouldn’t be viewed
will continue, causing our shyness to prevent as a barrier to success
us from enjoying social situations.
for example, will find that it becomes more The way that shyness is viewed culturally
The way we are raised, and our difficult to make that first comment. Over has an impact on our behaviours too. In a
experiences throughout childhood, are time, worry creeps in… they may think that BBC article, The Science Behind Why Some
also influential factors in whether or not we speaking up would appear out of character, Of Us Are Shy (adapted from an episode of
become shy as we grow up. Behavioural and that this might attract unwanted CrowdScience called Why Am I Shy?), it’s
inhibition, for example, can start in childhood. attention, or perhaps even judgement, from reported that the traits of confidence and
Overprotective parents may limit certain their colleagues. extroversion are valued behaviours in the
behaviours or restrict social activities, which USA. However, in some Asian countries,
can mean children don’t get the chance to Shyness can affect people in different being quieter is a more desirable trait.
develop confident social skills. As we get ways and in different areas of life, some These external and societal influences will
older, we start to self-manage our behaviours, of which can be more problematic than inevitably impact on the way that we view
limiting them to what we feel comfortable others. Shyness can also influence the path our own shyness. In the Western world, we
with, which then creates a cycle of shyness. that our lives take, as we’re drawn to those may view our own shyness as a problem or
For example, for a child who is predisposed things that make us feel most comfortable. issue that needs to be solved, rather than
to shyness, it can be hard to interact with Someone who is generally shy is unlikely accepting it as part of our personality.
other children at playtime or when working to follow a career path in television, for
together on a project. As time goes on, the example, or pursue a role that requires a lot Overcoming shyness
familiar and comfortable behaviour is that of networking and social interaction, unless Shyness isn’t a condition that necessarily
of being an observer – rather than an active they can learn to master their shyness to needs to be cured. It’s quite normal to feel
participant – in social situations, which makes follow a particular passion. This can be one shy in certain situations, and generally it
it harder to break the cycle. of the biggest problems with shyness – it doesn’t cause any real problems. However, if
can become a hurdle that prevents us from shyness does develop into something more –
As adults, we may already have a pattern following the path we want to follow. In a causing higher than normal levels of anxiety,
of behaviour that relates to our shyness. work environment, being shy can mean being triggering depression, or having a noticeable
Someone who has never had the confidence overlooked. Those who speak up and engage impact on quality of life – then this could be
to speak out in a business meeting before, in discussions are noticed more, which can social anxiety, which should be treated by a
help their career progression. psychological professional.
That said, many people do opt to seek help
to overcome or combat their shyness. This
may be because they’re struggling at work
when it comes to engaging with co-workers
or clients, or maybe they want to be able
to socialise without the worry. Cognitive
Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is usually the
most effective psychological therapy, by
getting to the root causes or beliefs that can
manifest as shyness.
CBT looks at changing thought patterns
and related behaviours, identifying those
thoughts that are negative and could be
contributing to patterns of shyness. It can
help patients to understand the key drivers
behind their shyness. For example, in the
work environment, feeling shy in meetings
or presentations could be a deep-seated fear
of saying the wrong thing in front of senior
colleagues, which could in itself be linked to
a strong work ethic and a drive to succeed.
CBT helps to unpick these connected strands,
learn to recognise unhelpful thoughts and
then put in place mechanisms and strategies
to cope with situations as they come up.
There is also something called the Social
Fitness Model (shyness.com) developed
by Dr Lynne Henderson, which suggests
that social fitness is something that
can be achieved in the same
way as physical fitness. In a
2011 research paper, Social
18 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
WHAT MAKES US SHY?
Fitness: The Online Treatment of Shyness, 5 WAYS TO
psychologist Peter Saunders said: “The term OVERCOME SHYNESS
‘Social Fitness’ refers to the idea that, similar
to physical fitness, in order to stay in social ACT CONFIDENT
shape we need to be constantly exerting
effort and working out by making social You might be shaking on the inside, but try to project an air of calm
contact with others.” It is essentially a form of confidence. It takes time and practice, as with any skill, but it can
cognitive behavioural therapy, delivered with make engagements easier.
an ethos of compassion. Changing long-term
behavioural patterns should be approached TRY NEW THINGS
sensitively and carefully.
Shy people tend to avoid new situations, but confronting that fear of
This means that for those who have the unknown can help your overall self-confidence in other situations.
a desire to be more confident in social
situations, it will take plenty of practice, but OWN YOUR SHYNESS
it can be achieved. It might be as simple as
starting small, by striking up a conversation Being shy is part of who you are, but it also doesn’t define you.
with someone in a shop or while waiting for Remember, it’s just one trait that makes up a very individual person.
a bus. The idea is to embrace or engineer
situations that challenge shyness so that, over RE-FRAME YOUR THINKING
time, people develop strategies for dealing
with bigger social interactions. The important Rather than worrying about how shy you are in social situations, focus
thing to remember is that it’s not about trying on your strong points, such as being a good listener or a loyal friend.
to change who a person is; it’s about learning
how to recognise unhelpful thoughts and STAY PRESENT
address issues with social situations to make
them more manageable. It’s easy to drift into our thoughts when we’re anxious, but stay in the
moment and mindful of what’s happening around you. It can help you
Embracing shyness
But is shyness really something that needs stay calm and focused.
to be overcome at all? Maybe it’s better
just to accept being naturally a shy person. big life decisions are made in a measured and but those that they do have are deeply © Getty Images / marzacz
Shyness doesn’t mean that we can’t achieve confident way. valued and long-lasting.
great things. Many well-known people have
spoken out about their own experiences of Shy people may find it hard to socialise Being shy doesn’t define a person; it’s
shyness. The idea of a shy celebrity might in large groups, but they are usually great just one behavioural trait that makes up a
seem somewhat of a paradox, given that friends. Often with a strong sense of empathy, wonderful, unique individual. So while there
these are often people who have chosen to shyer people can be good listeners and are some benefits to be had in learning to
follow a path into the limelight. Take one advice givers. They’re not prone to gossiping, manage common social situations without
of the celebrity world’s biggest apparent so are often considered trustworthy. Shy anxiety, we should also embrace the shyness
exhibitionists Kim Kardashian. She is people may have fewer friendships overall, as part of who we are.
reported to have once said: “I’m the girl who’s
too shy to dance in a nightclub – maybe for
one song, and then that’s it. The real Kim is
very shy and reserved and not outspoken
and loud like everybody assumes she is.”
Other famous faces who have spoken out
about being shy include Johnny Depp, Keira
Knightley and Steven Spielberg.
What these celebrities have managed to do
is accept their natural shyness, but project a
confident exterior to the world. It’s not about
denying part of who they are, just that they
are able to separate their life in the public
eye from their true self, as seen off-camera.
Shyness, then, certainly doesn’t need to be
a barrier to success, if it can be carefully
managed when needed.
The trait of shyness comes with other
benefits too. Shy people are often observers,
watching and studying in social situations,
rather than engaging. With this comes an
attention to detail and a better understanding
of human behaviour, which can be useful
skills. They’re also more likely to consider
risks and plan ahead, which means that any
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 19
BREAKING THE TABOO OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
20 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
BREAKING THE TABOO OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
BREATHKE TINAGBOO
OF
WOMEN’S
PSYCHOLOGY NOW Having the confidence to talk about our
sexual health is harder than it should be,
but breaking down this barrier will
lead to better physical
and mental health
WORDS SARAH BANKES
U ntil relatively recently, the
stigma associated with mental
health issues was so great it
stopped us from talking about
them. We were more likely to
suffer in silence and carry the burden alone,
which ultimately made the problem worse.
Talking about women’s health suffers a
similar stigma – and a similar burden.
Maybe there is a lesson to be learned
in the way our approach to mental
health has changed, which can be
applied to gynaecological health too.
Over recent years, an increased
awareness drive of mental health
issues has helped enormously,
focusing on the importance of
21
BREAKING THE TABOO OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
talking in particular. And while we still have bodies, how can we identify when something Very young children lack the inhibitions
a long way to go, according to Mental Health is wrong? If we’re too shy to seek advice, both found among older children, teenagers and
Foundation the number of people receiving our physical and mental health are at risk. adults, which can be both a blessing and a
treatment for mental health issues increased curse. Inhibition development is naturally a
by 14.2% from the year 2000 to 2014. It seems Digging deeper very important part of growing up, but the
obvious that encouraging people to talk has So, as intelligent, responsible adults, why childlike quality of speaking your mind and
had a profoundly positive effect. do we feel uncomfortable talking about feeling free to talk openly (particularly to
gynaecological matters? Where has this parents) about anything and everything is
Perhaps, then, a similar approach needs to awkwardness come from? equally as important and fundamental to
be taken with our physical health. While this our learning.
might sound surprising because we already To fully understand the reasons behind
seem better at doing that (it’s somehow easier our attitudes towards sexual health, we Children are inquisitive beings and ask
to be more vocal with colleagues about a sore have to go way back and try to remember lots of questions. While it’s important to
knee, for example, or to visit the doctor about what conversations were like growing up. answer their questions in a way that is
a persistent migraine, than it does sharing the Do you remember your parents talking to child- and age-appropriate, if as parents
fact that you’re feeling depressed or anxious), you about periods and safe sex? Perhaps we’re shooting down conversations about
there is one area of our physical health that you do. Perhaps your mother sat you down our sexual anatomy or feeling embarrassed
we still feel uncomfortable talking about – to to explain the ‘birds and the bees’, or maybe to answer innocent questions our children
healthcare professionals, friends, relatives, your father left a book in your bedroom that have about reproduction, children will be
colleagues, even our partners – and that’s explained it all, for you to peruse at your conditioned to believe these subjects are
gynae health. own leisure. By the time these conversations taboo. Then, when conversations arise
started to take place, though, it’s likely you among their peers, they’ll not only lack
According to The Eve Appeal, 93% of had already developed a self-consciousness. understanding and the ‘facts’, but they’re
women never discussed gynaecological Depending on how your parents addressed also likely to feel embarrassed. This
health with their parents while growing such matters, there’s a good chance both embarrassment is often responsible for the
up. And 84% never spoke about the parties felt uncomfortable discussing them giggling or even mickey-taking that occurs
female sexual anatomy with them. The and so avoided going into too much detail. in the classroom or playground, but perhaps
psychological impact this has on later life
is surprisingly significant, and the serious
health implications startlingly worrying.
Growing up believing we shouldn’t talk
about our reproductive organs leads to a
sense of shame and embarrassment. In
turn this encourages a whole host of
problems, from not seeking medical
advice when we suspect we should, to
avoiding gynaecological screenings
for things like cervical cancer. Life-
saving conversations are simply
not happening because we’ve been
conditioned to believe we should be
embarrassed to talk about our bodies. If
we don’t know and understand our
93%
of women
never
discussed
gynae
health
with their
parents
growing
up
22 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
BREAKING THE TABOO OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
WHAT ARE THE Many women, let alone men, aren’t aware that
there are five types of gynaecological cancer
GYNAECOLOGICAL CANCERS?
4
1
1 OVARIAN 5 4 WOMB (OR UTERINE/
ENDOMETRIUM)
Ovarian cancer is the second most
common gynaecological cancer in Womb cancer is the most common
the UK, with more than 7,300 cases gynaecological cancer in the UK,
each year, but it is the most difficult to with more than 9,000 women being
diagnose, as its symptoms are often diagnosed with it each year.
confused with less serious conditions,
such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). SYMPTOMS
SYMPTOMS 2 - Bleeding in between periods, after
menopause or after sex
- Persistent bloating
- Heavier periods
- Persistent tummy and/or pelvic pain
- Vaginal discharge
- Difficulty eating or feeling full quickly
2 VAGINAL 3 5 CERVICAL Resource: The Eve Appeal (www.eveappeal.org.uk)
Vaginal cancer is extremely rare, with 3 VULVA Cervical cancer is mostly caused by
fewer than 300 new cases in the human papillomavirus (HPV), which
UK each year. Around 20% of those Around 80% of vulva cancer cases are in is passed on through skin-to-skin
diagnosed said they had no symptoms women aged over 60. Again, symptoms sexual contact. It usually disappears
at all. Symptoms are usually a sign of are usually a sign of something less serious, by itself, but when it doesn’t, there
something less serious, like a vaginal but it’s important to see a doctor if you do is a chance that abnormal cells can
infection, but it’s important to keep an notice any of these symptoms. develop, which is what a smear (Pap)
eye on what’s going on. test looks for. These abnormalities can
SYMPTOMS become cancerous if left untreated,
SYMPTOMS which is why cervical screening
- Persistent itch appointments are so important.
- Bleeding in between periods, after - Pain or soreness
menopause or after sex - Change in skin colour (red/patchy) SYMPTOMS
- A lump
- Unpleasant-smelling or blood-stained - A mole that changes shape or colour - Bleeding in between periods
vaginal discharge
or after sex
- Pain during sex
- Pain during sex
- A lump in the vagina
- Unpleasant-smelling vaginal discharge
- Itchy vagina
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 23
BREAKING THE TABOO OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
worst of all is that it leads to feelings of Using
shame and confusion, which can be very correct
damaging. Sadly, these feelings of shame language from
and confusion stick with us and are often an early age is a
transported into adulthood where we feel step to breaking
embarrassed to talk to even our closest this taboo
friends about gynae problems.
encouraged – is an important first step to
Where should it start breaking the silence.
That’s not to say we should be having
conversations about sexual health with our We might think it’s appropriate or find it
very young children. It’s just about being easier to use euphemisms or nicknames to
mindful of how we answer their questions refer to our sexual anatomy when talking to
when they do ask them, and how we make our children (or even as adults when talking
them feel during these conversations. If we to our peers), but this only reinforces the idea
make our children feel comfortable and that it’s embarrassing to talk about these body
let them know that it’s natural to talk about parts. Using correct language from an early
these things, it will make the more in-depth age is another step to breaking this taboo. And
conversations much easier to have when being guided by the individual child in terms
they’re older. Helping our children (of both of ‘when’ and ‘how much’ seems like a sensible
sexes) to become more body aware and way to approach the matter.
letting them know that having conversations
about our bodies is perfectly welcome – even Why it’s so important
Physical changes to our bodies can affect the
way we feel, whether these changes are all
part of getting older or something to be more
concerned about. It can be a struggle to cope
with our emotions when experiencing these
changes, as they often cause confusion,
anxiety and worry, which are unpleasant
emotions in themselves. When combined
with feelings of embarrassment or shame,
our mental health can suffer as a result.
The importance of talking cannot be
stressed enough, whether it’s to someone
you know or someone outside your family
or friendship network.
Hopefully, the next generation of
adults will be better equipped with more
confidence and fewer reservations to talk
about gynaecological health. And once we
all start talking more, not only will we feel
better mentally, but we’ll be far more likely
to recognise when something isn’t quite
right and more forthcoming to speak to a
healthcare professional about it. Professor
Janice Rymer from The Royal College of
Obstetricians and Gynaecologists’ (RCOG)
states: “We must all work together to raise
awareness of the symptoms and signs of
gynaecological cancer, and break down the
mentality that gynaecological health is a
taboo subject. By encouraging both women
and men to talk about gynaecological health,
we can start to reduce the number of women
who die from gynaecological cancer.” It’s a
bold statement, but ultimately she’s right in
saying that the simple act of talking will save
lives, so let’s get better at it.
24 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
BREAKING THE TABOO OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
INTERVIEW
Mika Simmons
Actress, filmmaker and women’s health activist
Mika Simmons talks to Sarah Bankes about the
importance of shame busting and breaking the
silence when it comes to gynaecological health
What inspired you to want to © Ruth Crafer 2019 THE LADY
make a difference in the area of GARDEN
women’s health? grandmother, my grandmother and my FOUNDATION
I lost my mum to ovarian cancer in 2000. mother were all nurses – so the fact my mum,
In between that and setting up the Lady of all people, didn’t know what the symptoms Mika’s desire to raise
Garden Foundation, I felt I wanted to do an of ovarian cancer were was baffling. awareness of women’s
awareness drive. My mother was part of the health issues soon led her
group of women who set up the women’s Tell us about the work you’ve been to bring together a group
liberation movement. She was an active doing with Doctor Banerjee and how of phenomenal women,
feminist her whole life, and incredibly that came about. all of whom had a very
healthy. She originally trained as a nurse In between losing my mum and when personal relationship with
and then went into being a leader for women; Doctor Banerjee moved in next door to me, gynaecological health. And
her work was very much around women’s I’d had this longing to do something about so, in 2014, the Lady Garden
issues. She was someone who looked to awareness. So when Doctor Banerjee asked Foundation was born. The
alternative therapies to keep her mind and me if I would help her fundraise to do this Lady Garden Foundation is
body well, and to understand her own body. very important research, which has now a national women’s health
So when she was diagnosed with stage 4 come to fruition, I said that I would do it, but charity, raising awareness
ovarian cancer, as a family we were quite only if the Royal Marsden agreed to let me do and funding for cutting-edge
shocked that she hadn’t recognised the an awareness drive as well – and that’s how studies and groundbreaking
symptoms. (The doctors hadn’t recognised the Lady Garden Campaign was born. research into the treatment
them either; they thought she had fibroids.) of gynaecological cancers
I come from a line of nurses – my great- The Lady Garden Foundation has been at The Royal Marsden NHS
funding Doctor Banerjee to create Foundation Trust. Mika and
the fact her fellow founders hope these
my mum, of studies will revolutionise the
all people, treatment of these cancers.
didn’t know the
symptoms of 25
ovarian cancer
was baffling
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
BREAKING THE TABOO OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
DOCTOR BANERJEE
Doctor Susana Banerjee (MBBS MA PhD FRCP) is a consultant medical
oncologist and research lead for the gynaecology unit at The Royal
Marsden. She is also reader in women’s cancers at the Institute of
Cancer Research. When Mika and Doctor Banerjee met in 2007, the
timing couldn’t have been better. Mika was already looking into how
to raise awareness of ovarian cancer, and on discovering that her new
neighbour specialised in ovarian cancer and the systemic treatment
of endometrial and cervical cancers, they immediately formed a
friendship, putting their heads together to tackle the cause.
Lady Garden has Doctor Susana Banerjee’s
helped to bring research has helped to develop
women’s health issues treatments for those diagnosed
to the forefront
with gynaecological cancers
medication to help women live a longer life
once diagnosed with gynaecological cancers. PSYCHOLOGY NOW
The medication we have developed under
Doctor Banerjee has now been green-lit,
which is amazing. When you fund science,
you’re rolling the dice a bit, but of course
you’re going to back someone whose work
you believe in wholeheartedly. Doctor
Banerjee had already made great strides with
breast cancer treatment, so we knew she was
a leader in her field and that her thinking
was leading the way. The medication that
we’ve funded, which is called olaparib, has
only been offered to women in later stages of
ovarian cancer in the past, but it’s now being
offered to women in earlier stages.
Do you think people’s opinions and The Lady Garden
mindsets have changed in recent years? Foundation is a
In 2013, when we first started to think about national women’s
what the branding was going to be for the health charity, raising
project and how we could best get the awareness and funding
nation’s attention to understand that there
was a gap in women’s knowledge, we looked
at what other charities had done before.
Another gynaecological health charity, which
I respect very much, had already tried to do
a campaign called the Vagina Campaign, but
unfortunately it wasn’t successful. I think
times have changed massively. We talked
about why that campaign hadn’t worked,
and I think it was too ‘in your face’; people
didn’t want to hear the word ‘vagina’ around
2011/2012. It’s amazing that today when
you Google ‘vagina’, there are endless news
pieces. I feel like the Lady Garden Foundation
has had a significant role in that change,
because we took a nickname that made us
26
BREAKING THE TABOO OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
Mika Simmons with her mum,
who despite being a nurse,
didn’t recognise the symptoms
of ovarian cancer. This drove
Mika to work towards raising
awareness of these cancers
You have to be phenomenally Mika Simmons with
strong in yourself to really Doctor Susana Banerjee
enjoy your uniqueness
number of women who say to me they didn’t
laugh because we thought it was a bit twee, myths are being smashed in terms of what go to their smear test because they hadn’t Images © Mika Simmons and © Getty Images / David M. Benett
and used it to grab people’s imagination. is considered beautiful and acceptable, and got waxed. It’s that shame of not wanting
It would make people think, ‘What is lady the Lady Garden Foundation has been a someone to see you in your natural state.
garden?’ Then once beneath the surface, we huge part of that by leading the charge in
gave people all the information they needed. terms of talking more openly about our I had a mother who was a feminist. In my
In 2014, you needed to do that. Because of gynaecological health. teens, I’d get home from school and there
the work that we’ve done, and work done by would be a vagina examining workshop in
other charities, such as The Eve Appeal and Why do you think women find my house. The fact that a woman who was
Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, people are now it embarrassing to talk about that forward-thinking still didn’t recognise
much more open about it. gynaecological health, even to her own symptoms is devastating. Shame is
medical professionals? a very real thing that stops people from going
We’re in a period of people trying to I think at the heart of it is comparison and to the doctor.
decloak their shame – both in the press shame. At the very deepest level, we’ve set up
and on social media – and there are the a society where we’ve created these ‘norms’. One of the reasons I did The Happy
new generations coming through where What the ‘normal’ vagina looks like; whether Vagina podcast is because I wanted to
people are no longer willing to not be or not you should have a bush or wax… the create something that enabled women to
unique. We’re in a period where people hear every single variation on how women
are celebrating their individuality. Beauty look after their own health, and to be okay
with it. It’s so easy as human beings to be
affected by those around us. You have to be
phenomenally strong in yourself to really
enjoy your uniqueness.
Of course, there are lots of reasons why
people aren’t going to their smear tests.
There have been massive cuts in terms of
government funding in the NHS, and there is
evidence to suggest that letters aren’t being
sent out in poorer parts of the UK. But I do
think the main reason is that we have shame
around sex, and shame around our sexual
organs, and sometimes we forget that the
vagina is this amazing organ that gives birth
and creates life. But because it’s also this
place where we enjoy intimacy and pleasure,
we get confused about what we’re going to
the doctor for.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 27
BREAKING THE TABOO OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
How do you think people’s mindsets in the room and the feedback we received Through podcasts
can be changed even more? was phenomenal. On the panel were four and panels, Mika is
Talking. My call to arms with the Lady women who had all had incredibly different opening discussion
Garden Foundation was that we all need to experiences based on their backgrounds. The
talk more. Five years in I realised we’re all comparisons were joyful, very funny at times, of gynae health
saying we need to talk more, but we’re not and also quite heartbreaking to hear people’s
actually talking more. There’s a lot more stories about how they became stuck with
being put out in the press, and there’s more their gynae health. Afterwards, a woman
awareness, but in reality are we actually came up to me and said, “I’ve just realised that
talking more? The more open we can be, the I haven’t gone for my smear because of a bad
more power we have for ourselves. experience I had.” She said that just listening
to everyone talking had encouraged her to
I hosted a panel called ‘How To Make Your book the appointment and go.
Vagina Happy’ for International Women’s
Day in March 2019. There were 400 women It was following the success of this panel
that I decided to launch The Happy Vagina
THE podcast, as a way to get people talking and
change people’s mindsets.
HAPPY
The more that women hear each other
VAGINA talk, the more progress we’ll make. And one
of the most important things is to not be
PODCAST judgemental of each other, and to celebrate
differences within us. I worry sometimes
that some of the critical movements at the
Launched in January 2020
and hosted by Mika, The
Happy Vagina podcast
opens up a crucial dialogue
about fundamental female
issues, lack of education
around women’s experiences
and gynaecological health.
Empowering listeners with
information and heartfelt
accounts of female
experiences, the podcast
not only educates but also
entertains and enlightens
in a supportive way. Guests,
including Bryony Gordon and
June Sarpong, discuss their
formative years and current
relationships with their vaginas,
bodies, periods, sex and
getting tested.
Listen to the podcast here:
www.thehappyvagina.co
We’re all saying we need to talk more, but
we’re not actually talking more
28 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
BREAKING THE TABOO OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
moment strongly imply there is a particular periods (for example), as well as women. what it was. But it scarred me. I was already
way of being. When human beings are their Young women are often taken off on their struggling to understand what it was all
highest selves and psychologically free, own to be taught about periods, but periods about myself. My mother threw a party for
they can expect all the different variations are what give us life; the period cycle is what me when I started my period. So there was
of experiences and life, and be okay with brings men and women into the world, and my mum who was celebrating it, me feeling
it. I hope that the more women talk about men should understand it too. As a starting very confused and these boys making fun
their own individual experiences, things point, that would be useful because it would of it. That combination creates confusion
will change for generations in the future and help to normalise periods for young boys. within your own body about what’s okay
people won’t feel such shame. and what’s not okay, and then you spend the
In the workplace, I love what AllBright rest of your life trying to hide your period.
It’s not necessarily about being is doing. It’s doing some work around And it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
completely open. Not everyone needs to making sure there are tampons in offices. Thankfully, it didn’t take me long to get over
speak openly about their gynaecological There’s a movement towards having things that, and I’m pretty free about it now.
health. In fact, in one of the podcasts, June to do with periods being more visible in the
Sarpong absolutely refuses to answer one workplace. It shouldn’t be something we feel The really important thing is for people
of the questions, and that’s great because we should have to hide. to be okay with what they’re okay with. So
that’s who she is. She’s very, very open about if you’re a private person and you would
some other things. The most important things I started my period quite young. I like to be private about the ‘time of month’,
are that you really get to know yourself as was probably the first in my class, and I then that’s okay as long as it’s not coming
a woman, whatever age you are, and you’re remember being laughed at. I remember from a place of shame, and as long as it
okay with yourself in whatever way is right boys making fun of me for having sanitary doesn’t mean you’re not talking to other
for you, making sure that your decisions are towels visible in my bag. As far as I’m people about it. It must come from a healthy,
not coming from a place of fear or shame, concerned, they made fun of me because positive place; from a place of freedom.
because that’s when we really get into trouble they were frightened and didn’t understand
with our gynae health. Mika has welcomed some
Normalising talking well-known names onto
What are the negative implications of about gynae health her podcast
not talking about these issues? through The Happy
If we don’t talk about these things, it means Vagina podcast
we’re often poorly informed and we block
things out. Images © Mika Simmons and © Getty Images / David M. Benett
I just did a round table for The Power
of Women TV [programme], and we were
talking about gynae health. It became
apparent to me that three out of the six
women round the table thought that a smear
test was a test for all five gynae cancers.
These are very educated, grown women.
That’s the negative about not being open
about that area of our bodies and not talking
about it with our children.
There’s a movement to say that these
things should be taught at school and
there should be better sex education at
school. I’m not sure we should be leaving
the mental health and wellbeing of our
daughters in the hands of our teachers. It’s
down to the parents. I think there should
be more education for parents. Parents
should feel able to talk more openly and get
more guidance. It would be fantastic if the
government was able to support parents. Like
I said, I had a feminist mother who talked
about everything, but that may not be right
for every family. Other families may prefer to
address these issues in a more private way,
and that’s okay as long as people are talking.
Do you think there’s more we can Driving real change, Lady
do to encourage men to feel able to Garden is empowering women
talk about female issues without and funding research
feeling embarrassed?
If there were to be just one change in schools,
it should be that young men are taught about
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 29
RETAINING
INFORMATION
We take it for granted, but how do we retain and
utilise information from our environment?
HOW WE 0.2 0.25 0.2-
FORM AND secs secs 0.5
STORE secs
LONG-TERM ATTENTION EMOTION
MEMORIES SENSATION
If something grabs our attention, Events or things that cause an
The time it takes for a we’re far more likely to remember emotional response are more likely Sensory memory is based on receiving
memory to really stick it. Neurons fire as we continue to information from our senses, so sight,
focus, ensuring a memory moves to be remembered because they smell, touch etc. The lingering feeling
activate raised levels of activity you have after someone touches your
from short-term to long-term. in the amygdala, and this arousal arm is the sensory memory fading, and
The thalamus plays a big role in means more information is taken in this first information from the senses is
directing attention. and processed. the starting point for any memory.
30 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
MEMORY AND RETAINING INFORMATION
WORDS LYNSEY PORTER TYPES OF MEMORY
M emory is the capacity to The complex ways we remember…
store and retain information,
then recall it for use when SENSORY MEMORY
needed. It is used by most
organisms to operate in the Sensory memory is evoked through the senses and is the initial
most successful manner they possibly can in perception of something. This is a fleeting memory and will not
their unique environment.
be transferred into short- or long-term unless we focus on
There are three main types of memory: remembering the event.
sensory, short-term and long-term, although
long-term is often split into different types of SHORT-TERM
memory. Sensory memory is a very short-term
type of memory that is evoked through the This type of memory is stored temporarily for up to 20 seconds.
senses. It lasts for a few seconds at most and is It can, however, be confused with working memory, a separate type
not stored. of memory that allows an individual to retain information only for
Short-term memory is a slightly longer- long enough to, say, complete a sum. Unless information is
lasting form – around 20 seconds. It’s the repeated several times to establish a pathway between neurons, it
recording of memories currently being used
– so, remembering a number to dial in the next will decay and be lost.
30 seconds. If the information is repeated,
however, it causes pathways to form between LONG-TERM – PROCEDURAL (IMPLICIT)
neurons in the brain and a phrenological loop
to be created, causing a memory to be stored This kind of long-term memory is how we remember to do things
as a long-term memory. Unless this repeated such as ride a bike. It is where we store our ‘body’ memories –
firing of the neurons occurs, which is forced by our motor skills.
repeating the information, a memory is lost.
LONG-TERM – DECLARATIVE (EXPLICIT)
When we cannot remember something,
it’s generally not because of developing a This type of memory is how we store facts for retrieval, and consists of
degenerating brain disease like Alzheimer’s – things such as names and dates.
it’s far more likely to be that the correct stimuli
have not been presented to prompt retrieval LONG-TERM – EPISODIC
of the memory, or that you did not register or
retain the original information properly. For This is where we store event-related memories and link them together.
example, if you cannot remember where you For example, if you went to a dinner party you wouldn’t remember
put your shoes when you took them off, it
may be that you were not paying attention every moment, but you would recall a collection of events, smells and
when you put them down and consequently sounds that link together when you think of the overall event.
have not transferred the memory from short-
term to long-term in the first place, rather than
having forgotten.
As long as you have registered and retained
the event, correct stimuli would cause a refiring
of the neurons when creating the original
memory, allowing successful retrieval of the
information required. Dependent on its type, a
memory is stored in different areas of the brain.
This helps people to store related information
more easily, as it can be linked to previously
stored related material.
0.5 10 2 © Shutterstock / GoodStudio
secs- mins years
10 mins -2 years
+
WORKING MEMORY HIPPOCAMPAL
PROCESSING CONSOLIDATION
Working memory is when information is
briefly stored in order to be used in the If we need to retain a piece of information, If you use a piece of information repeatedly, the links
or it particularly strikes us, it will travel between the neurons remain strong. These are likely
immediate future. It lasts for a few from the short-term memory, based to stay in place for a long time. Although the pathways
seconds or so, but if repetition occurs, in the pre-frontal cortex, then to the between neurons are changing as we receive, process
refreshing the time limit in which it can hippocampus, where it is processed and and retain new information, repetition and reuse can
survive, it will be retained and can move can move into the long-term memory. cause the pathways to remain and the memory to stay
into short- or long-term. in the brain.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 31
5 MEMORY MYTH BUSTERS
5
MYTH BUSTERS
Our memories of experiences, sensations and
emotions play a huge role in our future behaviours,
but they can often be misunderstood. We’re here to
debunk some of the most common memory myths
WORDS JULIE BASSETT
1 Memories are accurate 2 Memories don’t change
Our memory is by no means perfect. The way we Many people believe that once we have formed
remember things is heavily shaped by our environment, a memory, it will stay the same throughout our
our influences, our beliefs and our interpretation of a lifetime. However, this is not the case. There are
particular situation. The brain is not like a video recorder, a lot of different parts of our brains that work to
accurately and constantly recording events around us, and we’re not form memories – it’s not a simple, linear process. We form
able to ‘rewind the tape’ to replay things we’ve seen. We can learn a emotional memories as well as factual ones. Over time, we
lot from our memories, or – more accurately – the way we remember might recall these memories and approach them from a
things. They can tell us a lot about ourselves if we’re open to exploring new perspective, which might in turn shape a new version
our own minds. We also need to remember that our memories might or interpretation of the memory. What’s more, when we tell
be biased by our own thoughts and feelings, and not always reflective a story many times, we might embellish or add extra details,
of what actually happened. which over time become part of the memory.
32 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
5 MEMORY MYTH BUSTERS
3 You can have a 4 Doing puzzles 5 Constant © Getty Images / VectorMine
photographic will improve study improves
memory your memory performance
We probably all know of Well, they can a bit, but only When it comes to studying
someone who has what we within context. If you do a lot for a test, interview or big
would consider to be a ‘photographic’ of crosswords, for example, you’ll likely presentation, the temptation is to spend
memory – these individuals are seemingly start to use your memory to solve them long hours reading over facts and figures,
able to easily recall information they have more quickly over time. Puzzles are a good frantically trying to commit them to
seen visually in great detail. But the brain is way of keeping the brain active, but they memory. While repetition can help, it is a
not a camera; the term photographic memory may not help boost your overall memory. myth to assume that the more time and
suggests that we can snapshot things we There are other things that do help though, effort you put in, the better you will do.
want to remember, file the mental pictures such as exercise, which requires you to Your brain needs undisturbed rest periods,
away and recall them whenever we like. remember and learn a series of movements and you may find that you actually recall
Some people do have exceptional memories, in order to perform particular actions. It information better after a rest than during
and many others have taught themselves can also increase blood flow to your brain, the period of intense study. It does need to
tricks for remembering and recalling things. which can help with memory function. A be rest with no interference though – so put
There is such a thing as an ‘eidetic memory’, balanced, healthy diet will also help to keep your phone away, turn off the television and
which is often used interchangeably with your memory in peak condition. close the curtains to relax.
‘photographic memory’, but they are subtly
different. People with eidetic memories can
recall an image after only seeing it briefly
once and remember its details, by way of a
lingering ‘after image’. It is typically only seen
in children and rarely in adults.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 33
THE NATURE VS NURTURE DEBATE
THE
VS
NURTURE
DEBATE
The oldest and often the bitterest
debate in psychology continues
into the 21st century
WORDS EDOARDO ALBERT
W hat makes us what we areas of philosophy and science. Going back science of genetics and Crick and Watson’s
are? This question has to the fountainhead of philosophy himself, discovery of the double helix structure of
occupied minds and Plato, the Greek thinker argued that human DNA, there was further evidence for the
stirred up debate for beings are born with certain innate ideas mechanisms of inheritance and how they
centuries and, in the that enable us to recognise the eternal Forms could affect us as individuals. With the
21st century, the controversy shows no signs behind all things. Moving forward, the great completion of the Human Genome Project, it
of abating, although it may be getting a little scientist and philosopher René Descartes might have seemed that the debate was over
nearer to being resolved. But to understand also argued that we are born with innate and Mother Nature had definitively shown
the question, let’s first look at what is meant knowledge, but that this knowledge might herself to be the mother of our personalities
by ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’. require an experience to uncover it, in the and behaviours. But it turned out not to be as
same way that a predisposition to a particular simple as that.
Nature disease would still require a trigger. These
According to the Greeks, it was the four philosophical ideas gained greater weight Nurture
humours that determined our nature. with the belated appreciation of Mendel’s The usual name associated with the idea that
While the idea of the four humours slowly work on inheritance and how this provided a human beings are born a blank slate, a tabula
became discredited, the idea of inherent mechanism for Darwin’s theory of evolution rasa, upon which experience and upbringing
factors determining human personality and to actually be passed on from one generation gets to work, making the newborn into the
behaviour were being developed in other to another. With the development of the result of their rearing, is the philosopher John
34 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
THE NATURE VS NURTURE DEBATE
Locke in his An Essay Concerning Human environment establish itself as the dominant there. However,
Understanding, which first appeared in 1689. paradigm in psychology as behaviourism the storm had
However, there is a far older strand of human and psychoanalysis became the dominant prevented the
thought that also sought to change human psychological schools of the period. surgeon getting
nature. This was magic, in all its various to the hospital.
forms. Magic actually stood in contradiction Bruce or Brenda Rather than send
to astrology, which fixed human destiny them home again,
in the stars. Magicians, on the other hand, The nature versus nurture debate may an assistant surgeon
sought to change and master destiny. sound like a dry discussion best suited for started what was supposed
So while the names might change, the the academic journals, but the answers to to be a routine procedure,
underlying human predispositions have not. the question of what makes us what we are, using an electric cauterising
On the one side, ‘nature’ or ‘fate’ or ‘the stars’ when applied to the real world of people, can machine rather than the usual scalpel.
or our ‘DNA’; on the other ‘magic’, ‘society’, have tragic, life-destroying consequences, But, tragically, the machine malfunctioned,
the ‘environment, upbringing and culture’. none more so than in the case of one David burning off David’s penis. Brian, not
Magicians were the rivals of astrologers, not Reimer. Only David Reimer was not born surprisingly, was spared the operation.
their colleagues, for they believed that they alone: he was the elder of identical twins,
could master fate by their spells. This belief and his younger brother was named Brian. With their little boy mutilated, the Reimers
reached its zenith in the scholar magicians The twins’ parents, Janet and Ron Reimer, happened to catch a TV programme
of the Renaissance: men such as John Dee, were young people who had grown up on featuring the work of renowned psychologist
Paracelsus and Marsilio Ficino. With science farms with little experience of life outside Doctor John Money, a New Zealander who
still in its infancy, many of the best minds of Winnipeg in Canada. They named the elder now practiced at Johns Hopkins University,
the century thought to come to dominance, of their twins Bruce. But when their little where he led the Psychohormonal Research
over nature and the self, through the use of boys appeared to have difficulty urinating, Unit. Money was the leading proponent of
magic, thus making humans into something their doctor recommended that they be the view that gender was not innate but
malleable, something that could be formed circumcised. Still only seven months old, the rather developed as a result of social factors
by the will rather than subject to the young couple took their boys to St Boniface and upbringing, a view that he had come to
unalterable effects of the fixed stars. The idea Hospital, driving through a snowstorm to get as a result of his work with intersex children.
of human freedom grew stronger through
the revolutions of the 18th century, but
then ran up against the dominant scientific
theory of the 19th century: evolution. Darwin
had, apparently definitively, disproved the
alternative version of evolution, known as
Lamarckism, that allowed a role for inherited
characteristics. The Darwinian version of
evolution permitted only natal characteristics
to determine an individual’s fitness to survive.
But despite this setback, the first half of
the 20th century saw the idea of human
beings as blank slates determined by their
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 35
THE NATURE VS NURTURE DEBATE
At a loss at what to do to help their son, the
Reimers wrote to Doctor Money who wrote
back immediately, inviting them to his clinic. UNIVERSAL GRAMMAR
Give me a boy and I will make him a girl
Little did the Reimers know that they were
presenting Doctor Money with a once-in-
a-lifetime opportunity to prove his views
of gender fluidity: that nurture determined In five years, children go from babbling to being fluent in the
gender rather than nature. For having a set language of their parents and they do so without explicit instruction
of identical twins meant that the Reimers in grammar or syntax or anything much at all beyond ga-ga sounds
could provide a control for what Doctor from delighted parents. To explain this, the linguist Noam Chomsky
Money advised them to do: let him turn little
Bruce into little Brenda. With the children proposed that every human being is born with an innate ability to
sharing parents, environment and genetic learn language and that there is a universal grammar of structural
makeup, the only variable would be the rules within our minds that predispose us to learn particular
social influence working on Bruce to make
him Brenda. There was a surgical element languages as babies and children. While still subject to criticism,
involved too. At 22 months, Bruce’s testicles particularly on grounds of whether a universal grammar is detectable
were removed and plastic surgeons made a
behind the varieties of different languages, Chomsky’s ideas have
vulva for him. Bruce was now Brenda, and been hugely influential.
Janet and Ron Reimer, following Doctor
Money’s advice, dutifully set about raising
their new little girl as a girl.
The family made annual visits to Doctor
Money’s laboratory where he monitored so clear-cut. While photos show little Brenda insisted, on Doctor Money’s instructions,
the progress of his experiment. Under the in dresses and with long hair, ‘she’ found that she was a girl. For the Reimers, the strain
name ‘John/Joan’, the case was written up herself an outcast: preferring her brother’s toy proved intolerable: Janet attempted suicide,
and presented as triumphant confirmation trucks over the dolls she was presented with; and Ron became an alcoholic.
that, indeed, gender was a social construct bullied by the other girls at her school, in part According to David’s later account
rather than anything inherent: the triumph of because she would try to urinate standing (although this is denied by Doctor Money’s
nurture over nature. But for Brenda, it was not up; and part of a family in which her parents defenders), there was a darker element to
these annual visits to Doctor Money’s clinic.
Still in awe of the world-famous psychologist,
the Reimers allowed him to make their
children take part in sexual rehearsal play
– all a necessary part of sexual maturation
according to Doctor Money.
But for Brenda, growing up only
exacerbated her alienation. She attempted
suicide and was under psychiatric care. In
the end, aged 14, her psychiatrist persuaded
Brenda’s parents to tell their daughter that she
had been born to them a son. The news came
as a revelation. Brenda took her dresses from
the wardrobe, covered them with petrol and
burned them. But becoming male again was
a difficult and painful task. Oestrogen had
given Brenda breasts: she required a double
mastectomy to remove them. Testosterone
injections – because Brenda’s testicles had
been removed – helped to masculinise him,
and surgeons worked to create an artificial
penis for him. It took five years for the surgery
to be completed, during which time Brenda
changed his name to David.
Although David did marry, adopting the
three children of his spouse, the scars of
the case was presented as his upbringing lingered. Brian, his twin, had
confirmation that gender was slipped into drug use, crime and depression.
David’s case came to public view in the late
1990s, by which time Doctor Money was
suffering from Parkinson’s disease. However,
a social construct in 2002, Brian, David’s twin, committed
suicide. Two years later, David’s wife of 14
36 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
THE NATURE VS NURTURE DEBATE
years asked for a separation. On 4 May 2004, on IQ tests than white people (that Asians Pavlov found that simply ringing the bell
David Reimer took a shotgun from his house, scored more highly than both groups was was enough to stimulate a salivary response
sawed down the barrel and shot himself. largely ignored). In 1969, the psychologist in his dogs. Indeed, Watson went so far as
Doctor John Money died two years later. Arthur Jensen published a paper in the to state: “Give me a dozen healthy infants,
Harvard Educational Review that argued that well-formed, and my own specified world to
The politics of nature and nurture the variance in IQ between white and African bring them up in and I’ll guarantee to take
For David Reimer, the question of whether Americans was 80% due to genetic factors, any one at random and train him to become
nature or nurture determines what we are with only 20% the result of the environment any type of specialist I might select – doctor,
had been deadly personal. It remains a and culture in which the children had been lawyer, artist, merchant-chief and, yes, even
hugely fraught area of research, for it feeds raised. In other words, African Americans beggar-man and thief, regardless of his talents,
into so many ideas of what we are. If we are were less intelligent, on average, because penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations,
taken to be the products of our birth, then they were born that way and, as the title of and race of his ancestors.”
socially and politically this tends to lead to his paper asked – ‘How Much can we Boost
arguments for maintaining the status quo: IQ and Scholastic Achievement?’ – Jensen’s Psychoanalysis was the other main school
people are born with aptitudes and abilities answer was: not that much. Thus the end of psychological thought of the first half
and there is not that much that can be point of the nature school has the tendency of the 20th century. Sigmund Freud, the
done to change these. Most controversially, to shade into outlooks that border on racist. founder of psychoanalysis, thought the origin
inheritance was tied to intelligence, starting in of many later-life neuroses to lie in childhood
the 1920s when the eugenics movement was But what about the implications of traumas or the failure to complete the stages
at its height. According to this view, there are those who believe that we are what we are of psychosexual development – oral, anal,
differences in average intelligence between because of our environments and the way phallic, latent and genital – that were, in his
the various human races; the finding that we are brought up? Surely that won’t be so view, necessary for human flourishing. So
was most publicised by the early eugenicists problematic? Sadly it is. This idea of human again, the childhood environment was the
was that black people tended to score lower nature, which goes back to the philosopher determinative influence on the adult human
John Locke who argued in his An Essay being: nurture all the way.
WHAT Concerning Human Understanding that
a human being is born as a tabula rasa, a This view of human learning received
MAKES blank slate, tends to lend itself to those most further reinforcement in the Bobo Doll
committed to remaking human society experiments carried out by Albert Bandura
YOU HAPPY into some other, idealised state without in 1961 and 1963. In the experiment, young
much thought as to the consequences. children aged between three and five
Genomic sequencing and twin Poor David Reimer was one casualty of observed an adult interacting with a large
studies have led scientists this viewpoint – a boy sacrificed to prove inflatable Bobo Doll (basically a blow-up
to investigate whether it is a scientist’s hypothesis – but there have Mr Blobby). In one scenario, the adult hit or
our genetic makeup or our been far more catastrophic experiments in abused the Bobo Doll, in the other the adult
environment that makes us social engineering carried out in the name ignored the doll completely and played with
of making a perfect human society, from Pol other toys in the room. The child was, after
happy – and the answer seems Pot’s Year Zero in Cambodia to the Cultural a short hiatus, then allowed to play with the
to be that happiness is roughly Revolution in China. So it is clear that this Bobo Doll and other toys in the room. Where
half down to our environment question as to what makes us what we are is the child had seen the adult hit or abuse the
(such as a happy marriage, a a crucial one. Bobo Doll, there was a marked tendency
fulfilling career, good health and for the child to mimic this behaviour.
the other usual aspects of the But what does make us what we are? After There was a marked gender difference too,
good life), and half down to a a century of scientific study, are we actually with boys far more likely than girls to act
genetic predisposition towards any closer to disentangling the twisted skeins aggressively towards the Bobo Doll. For
of inheritance and environment? In some Bandura, this was evidence for his theory that
happiness and fulfilment. So ways, yes. children learn by observation as well as the
it would be possible to have operant conditioning demonstrated by the
everything and still be miserable Strange bedfellows: behaviourism behaviourists. It also added further evidence
and, conversely, to have nothing and psychoanalysis to the view that children were largely formed
and be profoundly happy. Of The first half of the 20th century saw the by their environments when growing up.
course, with most people, the belief that environment was the key influence
actual reality lies somewhere in in human development reign supreme in The gene genie
psychology as a result of the dominance However, by the 1970s, new work on genetics
the middle. of the field by two schools of thought – and twin studies began to call this primary
behaviourism and psychoanalysis – that emphasis on the environment into question.
were in most respects opposed but which did Many of the studies were controversial,
agree on this big question: our environment precisely because of the implications a
makes us what we are. Behaviourism, which view of human beings as determined by
was invented by John Watson and developed their genes rather than their environment
by BF Skinner, sought to understand human would have. However, twin studies, the
beings by, precisely, their behaviour; that Human Genome Project and comparative
behaviour being determined by the sort anthropological studies began to suggest
of stimulus-response conditioning first both the heritability of many features and
demonstrated by Ivan Pavlov. When feeding even the existence of cultural universals.
his laboratory dogs, Pavlov always rang a Twin studies were particularly important
bell before giving the dogs their food. Soon, to start with, because identical twins share
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 37
it is clear THE NATURE VS NURTURE DEBATE
this question
as to what THE FOUR HUMOURS
makes us what
we are is a Good old Mother Nature’s influence on her children has gone under
crucial one a number of different names during human history. The first was the
mixture of the four humours – blood, phlegm, yellow bile and black
the same genetic makeup, whereas fraternal bile – that, according to the Greek physician Galen, determined our
twins, although sharing the same uterine personalities, with traces of this belief still contained in the meaning
environment and upbringing, have the
same genetic relation as ordinary siblings. of words derived from these humours. A sanguine temperament,
Thus if inheritance is more important than produced by a preponderance of the blood humour, is confident and
environment, there should be little difference
in similarity between identical and fraternal optimistic, whereas someone who is phlegmatic is stolid and slow
twins. On the other hand, if genes are more through his or her excess of phlegm. However, this theory did allow
important than upbringing, identical twins doctors to correct imbalances in a patient’s humours by prescribing
should be significantly more similar than food and treatments for the opposite, lacking humour, so that an
fraternal twins. This latter proves to be the excess of blood could be cured by blood letting or eating earthy, cold
case, although the degree of similarity varies foods. Nature’s natal influence was extended through astrology, with
from very high – basic physical traits such the precise location of the planets and constellations at birth being
as height and eye colour – to medium in the supposed to determine the personality and fortune of the newborn
case of personality traits and intelligence. child. The belief was, and remains, hugely influential, and as such is
So clearly, genetic inheritance plays an almost the purest example of the idea that what we are and what
important role in making twins what they are, we become is determined by factors surrounding our birth that are
be that identical or fraternal siblings.
outside our control.
With genetic studies becoming easier, and
cheaper, to carry out from the 1990s onwards, STERILISING THE UNFIT
it swiftly became clear that the extreme view
of newborn babies as blank slates that had Francis Galton (1822-1911), a relative of Charles Darwin, developed
been championed by the likes of Watson and his theory of eugenics after reading Darwin’s work. Convinced that
Money was untenable. In particular, studies humanity would decline without selective breeding, Galton and the
on adoptive children showed unequivocally generation of eugenicists that followed him popularised the idea
that these children showed more similarities that human progress depended on the selective, and encouraged
to their birth parents than they did to their reproduction of people with good traits and the discouragement or
adopted parents. sterilisation of people with bad or undesirable traits. Assent to this
sterilisation was not always asked for or required. The idea became
But while it was clear that genetic popular worldwide in the early 20th century, with many of the most
inheritance played a large part in determining progressive minds of the time, from Marie Stopes to George Bernard
what a person would become, it was clear Shaw, becoming enthusiastic advocates. Indeed, Stopes argued that
that the most determined aspects of a person the products of any mixed-race unions should be sterilised to ensure
were their physical characteristics: height, that they could not pass on their miscegenation. If it was not for the
hair and eye colour, and so on. This was not, opening of the gates to Auschwitz in 1945 and the realisation of the
and never had been, controversial. What ultimate destination of the eugenics road, it would likely have gone
was also slowly becoming clear was that
there was an interplay between genetic and on being an article of faith of the progressive left.
environmental factors in the working out of
many of the more complex characteristics PSYCHOLOGY NOW
in people. Take autism as an example. This
complex developmental disorder has a
strong genetic component shown by the
fact that, among identical twins, if one twin
has autism, then the likelihood of the other
sibling also being autistic is around 75%,
whereas for fraternal twins the chance is
around 30% and for ordinary siblings about
20%. If autism was completely genetically
38
THE NATURE VS NURTURE DEBATE
determined, then there would be 100% there are some studies that even suggest predisposition that causes different neural © Getty Images / Irina_Qiwi
correlation between identical twins, so other certain genetic types are more likely to occur pathways to form in the brain, leading to
factors account for about a quarter of the in matching environments. Consider a youth the eventual referral to a psychologist. The
likelihood of being autistic. who is referred to a psychologist because positive side of this negative feedback loop
of problems he or she has in controlling his is that it can be stopped and even reversed.
The waltz of inheritance or her aggression. It’s likely that he or she New research in the area of neuroplasticity
and environment might have been born with a predisposition in the brain is showing that neural structures
One example of how a genetic cause requires to aggression inherited from his or her are not fixed, as was once thought. Instead,
environmental stimulation to manifest itself parents. But as a child, the expression of that new pathways can form and old pathways
is perfect pitch. This is the ability to hear predisposition produced push back from his be broken. Thus the rigid prison of
a musical note and tell immediately what or her parents and siblings, and then later inheritance and the blank scribble plate
that note is without any reference note. from his or her teachers and classmates. of the tabula rasa are both malleable and
Perfect pitch has a strong tendency to run The child’s slightly above average tendency subject to change. We are, it turns out,
in families, indicating that it has a genetic towards aggression is matched and raised prisoners neither of our birth nor of our
component, and indeed scientists think it by the response of those around him or upbringing. And this is surely the most
may be triggered by a single gene. However, her, so he or she doubles down, forming a heartening message to be taken from the
what is interesting is that the gene itself is not feedback loop building on his or her natural new science of nature and nurture.
enough: to develop perfect pitch, a child –
even though he or she possesses the gene for
perfect pitch – needs to be trained in music
while still young. Even at the most obviously
physical level, that of height, it’s nevertheless
true that a child born to a long line of tall
parents will still exhibit stunted growth if
malnourished when growing up.
Perhaps the most striking, and certainly
the most universal, example of this interplay
between genetic inheritance and learned
behaviour is speech. Children are born with
an innate predisposition to speak. This is
species-specific to us as human beings: raise a
chimpanzee alongside a baby, talking to both
of them, and the baby will be fluent by the
time he or she is five while the chimpanzee
will not be. While there is an inherited,
although vastly complex, predisposition to
speech, the particular language the child
learns to speak is obviously determined
by the environment: while we are all wired
to talk, what we actually say depends
on what we hear. Furthermore, there is a
developmental window in which language
acquisition must take place. In cases where
children have been raised in isolation, or
even among animals, it seems that if the child
has not learned language by eight then he or
she will never develop a full linguistic range:
in the worst cases, he or she will only be able
to say one or two words.
This developing understanding of the
interplay between genetics and environment
– the dance of nature and nurture rather
than their opposition – has begun to render
the old extreme viewpoints obsolete. It is
now quite clear that our genetic inheritance
directly influences us at a multitude of levels,
from the physical, through the psychological
and on to the behavioural. However, what is
also clear is that how these genes express
themselves, and the degree to which they
express themselves, is a result of a complex
interaction with environmental and social
factors. So the contest of nature against
nurture is becoming a search for the ways in
which the two influence each other. In fact,
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 39
WHY DO WE LIE?
WHY
DO WE
It’s not just bad behaviour
– deception is a product of
evolution and it gives your
brain a real workout
WORDS CHARLIE EVANS
Y our dog really did eat your sometimes we need to lie. Throughout
homework, and you have no hominid history, it has been a genetic
idea who took the last biscuit advantage to be a good liar, as it supports
from the sweet jar. Lying social bonds, and therefore you are more
is in your nature, but don’t likely to survive and pass on your genes.
worry – it’s in the nature of most humans. It’s Bending the truth, playing fast and loose with
a technique that has evolved over billions of the facts, telling a tall tale – whatever you call
years, so it turns out you might not actually it, lying is something that most individuals in
have that much to feel bad about. our species find really easy.
Humans are social creatures, and we Although deception is frowned upon by
have our giant brains to thank for this. society, it actually evolved as a way to fine-
They evolved to be so large because we tune our social skills and strengthen our
needed the extra space to be successful at relationships. Have you ever told a friend that
communicating with others and keeping you really loved the dinner they had cooked
our social group happy. This has a lot of for you? Or maybe you have lied to your
mum about accidentally breaking something
advantages. If you can in the kitchen? That’s these evolutionary
build bonds with other mechanisms kicking in, and whether it was
humans you can access to protect your reputation or just avoid
more resources because upsetting someone, it probably worked well
your friends and family will share to protect your relationships (if you didn’t get
food and shelter, helping you out when you caught, that is).
need it. But to keep these close connections,
40 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
WHY DO WE LIE?
We’re not PATHOLOGICAL LIARS
the only
species that Pathological lying is a term that refers to the act of lying so naturally
has developed and instinctively that the individual finds it easier than telling the
deceptive
tactics truth. Sometimes they can even believe their own lies. It is a condition
that can be damaging to the lives of the sufferer as it destroys
Your brain on lies careers and relationships.
Lying is a creative task, and it’s much harder
for our brains than just telling the truth, as Neurologists have discovered that there are physiological differences
it requires remembering lots of different in the brains of pathological liars, who have 22 to 26% more
information to keep the story consistent.
Even more complicated is our ability to lie to prefrontal white matter and approximately 14% less grey matter. It’s
ourselves, an extreme level of deception that thought that this difference means pathological liars are more able to
requires keeping two pieces of information in make connections between different memories and ideas. However, it
our heads and ignoring one. is unknown if the increased white matter is the cause of pathological
Whatever reason you are lying, and lying or if the practice of frequently lying can cause structural
however complex the lie, there are three changes in the brain.
main parts of the brain that you use when
you are being deceptive: the anterior of history, we have relied on our observation
cingulate cortex, which is responsible for and social skills. We learnt how to monitor
monitoring errors; the dorsolateral prefrontal other people’s behaviours for signs they
cortex, which controls behaviour; and the were not telling us the truth: unusual eye
parietal cortex, which processes information contact, signs they might be sweating more,
from your senses. These parts become more elaborating on a story with details that just
active when lying, and they can be seen don’t sound believable, and so on. As our
using functional MRI scanners – a far more ability to lie evolved, so did our ability to
advanced version of a lie detector. detect a lie. This has come in helpful, as not
every lie is told because we want to keep
However, we’ve not always had the our friends. Sometimes lying is used to
technology to help us detect a liar. For most manipulate others for personal gains, such
as scamming people out of money. Being
LYING IS A MATTER
OF AGE – HONESTLY!
While our tendency to lie peaks in our teens, we don’t all make for honest adults
These lighter sections 10% The percentages in the
are the percentages of darker sections are those
people telling one to 34% 39% 45% 11% people who told more than
five lies a day. five lies in a single day.
9%
59%
14% 15%
43%
29%
7%
Lying frequency by age
(over a 24-hour period)
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
Ages 60–77 No lies told.
45–59
18–44
13–17
9–12
6–8
41
able to detect a lie is helpful for keeping our WHY DO WE LIE?
resources safe from dishonest people.
HOW TO CATCH A LIE
Lying is not unique to humans
We’re not the only species that has developed It’s all in the body language
deceptive tactics. The skill has been mastered
throughout the animal world, notably INTENSE EYE CONTACT
by tufted capuchin monkeys, which will
shout out false alarms to scare away older Eye contact usually suggests honesty, and it is tempting for someone
individuals from food, and the polka-dot telling a lie to break eye contact. As a result, they will start making
wasp moth, which mimics the same clicks of
the bad-tasting delicate cycnia moth to ward more eye contact than usual to overcompensate.
off predators. These animals developed these
tactics to protect themselves rather than CONTRARY CONFIRMATION
strengthen social bonds.
Informal language and phrases that express they are being honest
WHEN DO (such as ‘believe me’ or ‘to be totally honest’) hints that someone
WE LEARN might not be telling the truth.
TO LIE?
It’s thought that we learn how FROZEN UPPER BODY
to lie much younger than we
People tend to move less when they are being deceptive, gesturing
probably think, with some with their hands less frequently and sometimes completely freezing
research suggesting it may have
begun as early as six months old. their entire upper body.
Over the years, we perfect the art,
and some estimates suggest by PROLONGED EYE CLOSING
the time we are in college we may
be lying to our mothers once every Usually, people will blink for between 0.10 to 0.40 of a second, but
when someone lies they often have their eyes closed for longer
five interactions. than a second.
The developmental model of lying
was first proposed by researchers HEAD SHAKING
Victoria Talwar and Kang Lee. If someone says ‘yes’ but they shake their head ‘no’ at the same time,
Their work shows that children their body language might be giving away the real answer.
between the ages of two and
three start telling primary lies It is unknown if the
– basic deceptions to cover up increased white matter is the
mistakes or bad behaviour – but cause of pathological lying or
without considering whether the if the practice of frequently
listener will actually believe the lie. lying can cause structural
Around the age of four, children changes in the brain
start to tell secondary lies, more
crafted and complex lies that are PSYCHOLOGY NOW
more believable. By age seven or
eight, children start telling tertiary
lies, using consistent facts and
follow-up statements. This is an
ability that will stay with them for
the rest of their lives.
42
WHY DO WE LIE?
THE TRUTH BEHIND OUR LIES
There are many reasons why we try to deceive others
TO AVOID PUNISHMENT FOR ECONOMIC ADVANTAGE
We have broken the law, made a mistake or There is some financial reward, like a promotion or
committed a misdeed that we want to cover up. a pay rise that we will gain by telling this type of lie.
SOCIAL 16% FOR PERSONAL
AVOIDANCE ADVANTAGE
22%
Some lies are told because We are seeking a
the individual wants to avoid LF non-financial reward, such
people, such as saying they as affection, attention or
are sick or busy to get out of higher social status.
a social event.
TO PROTECT YOURSE PROMOTE YOURSELF 15%
TO
14% © Getty Images / myillo / dane_mark
U IMPACT OTHERS 8% TO GIVE A GOOD
FOR REASONS NCLEAR 5% IMPRESSION
UNKNOWN
7% We want to shape a
The motives for lying are positive image of ourselves
sometimes unclear even to so lie about our character,
the person lying. saying we speak another
language or that we’re an
excellent cook.
2% 5%
4%
2%
NO REAL REASON FOR HUMOUR’S SAKE
Pathological lying is a Some lies are told for the purpose
condition where an of making other people in our social
individual compulsively lies group laugh, such as exaggerating a
to excess, often serving story or making up a funny
little or no purpose. anecdote that did not happen.
MALICIOUS LYING TO FIT IN ALTRUISTIC REASONS
Hurting other people by lying to them is Some deception comes We might lie selflessly for the benefit of other
known as malicious lying and serves to put from a desire to uphold people, such as offering reassurance or
other people down. This is sometimes done as social roles or avoid complimenting them to make them feel better.
revenge or to cover the liar’s own insecurities. being rude in an
attempt to fit in with
PSYCHOLOGY NOW the social group.
43
DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE
YOUR LIFE
Clutter can cause no end of stress whether it is physical
or mental; it makes the place look untidy, swallows
up space, and clouds your judgement, but there is a
wonderfully simple antidote: decluttering
44 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE
WORDS NATALIE DENTON & REBECCA LEWRY-GRAY
B e it broken, unwanted, not of potential dust gatherers is endless, but
needed, outgrown or unloved, questioning who you are and what you want
there are probably many items to achieve will help you to bin or begin.
in your house you could do
without. Or things playing on Why should we declutter?
your mind, a hectic calendar or unworthy Think of decluttering like stripping away
friends. Simply put, clutter is mess; an untidy weeds that are blocking the light from
collection of things that haven’t been put flowers in your garden. With the weeds
away, aren’t needed, or don’t belong in the gone, the flowers have room and energy to
space they are currently occupying. Whether grow. Likewise, freeing yourself of unwanted
it’s dirty clothes piled on a chair, old toys possessions can be quite liberating. It
crammed into an overfilled cupboard, or reduces stress and anxiety, causing the
unopened mail strewn about a counter-top, brain to release endorphins that create an
clutter can amass all over your home like a
plague of unwelcome pests. Decluttering isn’t just a
way to tidy your home; it’s a
People lead busy lives and unless there’s way to live your life
a reason to have a good clear out, such as
moving house or trying to drum up some MAKE IT FUN
extra cash, there’s no urgency or motivation
to declutter, which is why you end up with FINDING THE MOTIVATION
too much stuff, a lot of which you no longer
need or want. Getting started can be one of the biggest hurdles when decluttering,
so it’s important to find the motivation to take that important first
The key to beating clutter is to make step. Search apps like Pinterest for images of how you wish your
decisions – decisions about whether the
item should be kept or not, and if it is to be home to look, or cut out pictures from a home magazine and make a
saved, where it should live, or as Benjamin vision board. Use these to see you through to the end.
Franklin once said: “a place for everything
and everything in its place.” Moving forward, BEFORE AND AFTER
it’s essential the items you choose to keep are
returned immediately to their allotted space Once your place is looking shipshape, it can be hard to remember
when finished with. This sounds simple what all the fuss was about, so why not take some ‘before’ shots
enough, but for many people decluttering before you start to later remind yourself of just how far you’ve come?
can feel overwhelming, especially if you have These can act as motivational tools to keep things tidy, plus they can
a lot of clutter to sort through. People fail to be uploaded with the ‘after’ shots to an online decluttering support
tackle the problem because they don’t know
how or where to start. group to inspire others.
How do we accumulate so much stuff? MANY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK
Sentimentality is one of the biggest reasons
we hold on to things we might not need or Everyone knows a ‘Monica’, so why not invite them and some other
even want. Whether it’s a gift from a loved friends and family over for a decluttering party? Stick on some
one or a souvenir of your past, getting rid of
possessions that hold significant emotional pumping tunes, provide a few refreshments, and let the good times
value can be difficult and painful. But you roll. Your house will be spick and span in no time. You may even find
shouldn’t feel burdened to keep hold of all new homes for some of your unwanted belongings; much better than
these things forever, and there are plenty
of techniques for helping you to deal with giving your helpers a goody bag.
shedding the ones you no longer want.
Stockpiling is another common cause of
clutter. With shops riddled with offers and
multibuys, and advertisers pushing ‘just in
case’ purchases, it’s easy to end up with more
than you bargained for. Stocking up on things
you use regularly is good, but certain food,
cosmetics, clothing and furnishings don’t
always stand the test of time.
Then there are the things we buy because
we believe that they’ll make us happy, often
in the belief that they will ‘better’ us in some
way. Known as ‘aspirational clutter’, these
items can lay dormant for years; exercise
machines, intellectual coffee table books,
sports equipment, camping gear… the list
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 45
DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE
intoxicating rush of positivity that floods your and self worth, which will ultimately help We all have limited space in which to live,
body, urging you to do more. The wave of to improve your mental wellbeing. This can and often that space is shared with others.
good vibes doesn’t end there, as one person’s prompt you to clean other areas of clutter In order to live harmoniously you need
trash is another’s treasure. The warm and in your life, especially useful if you have a to respect one another, and part of that is
fuzzy feeling you get from donating your tendency to pile a lot on your plate. Through respecting the things people own.
unwanteds to charity can be exhilarating, or decluttering, you’ll begin to appreciate what
if you choose to sell your stuff you can put actually matters, and come to see the benefit While it might feel tempting to chuck
the money you make towards something that of quality over quantity, not just in terms of away your spouse’s, children’s or flat mate’s
you actually want, another win-win. ‘stuff’, but also people and how you spend belongings for them, it is important that you
your time. Decluttering isn’t just a way to tidy involve them in the decluttering process and
What’s more, clutter isn’t just a physical your home; it’s a way to live your life. allow them to choose for themselves what
issue. Clutter is the consequence of putting possessions make them happy. Not only is
off dealing with things, and so emotional Think about your values this ethically right, but if you want to keep the
clutter can accumulate just as quickly as Less clutter equals less chaos, which equates home in a tidy status quo moving forward,
worldly possessions. One of the main reasons to less stress, greater calmness, clarity and everyone who shares that space needs to
people have clutter is because they find it perspective. Not only will this do wonders for believe in the same values as you, which are
hard to make a decision: keep or bin? Donate your mental wellbeing and help to reduce to only keep things that make you feel happy,
or sell? Where is the best place to keep it? risk of serious illnesses, but it can also to learn to appreciate what you have, and that
Sometimes it’s easier to do nothing. The improve your relationships and enhance every item you choose to cherish deserves
inability to make decisions can stem from your self-esteem. However, the only way this its own spot where it now belongs.
self doubt and insecurity. Forcing yourself to can truly work is if everyone you share your
make decisions, even small ones like these, living environment with, no matter how old Live your life by your chosen values
will help you to get better at making more or young they are, is on the same page. Imagining how you want your life, your
important choices, building self confidence home, and even yourself to be is one thing,
but making it happen is something else
DIG A LITTLE DEEPER entirely. The good news is that it can be done;
you just have to choose to make a start. For
VISUAL REMINDER some people, that means making a change.
Make a list of all the values that are most important to you and To truly change, you not only have to want
your family then display them in whatever creative fashion takes to change, but believe that you’re capable of it.
Often the desire is there but the belief is not.
your fancy. Alongside respect, consider: dedication, patience, To combat this, you need to spend some time
courtesy, gratitude, commitment, belief in others, forgiveness, working on improving how you see yourself
and in doing so, boost your self-esteem.
appreciation and togetherness.
As is the case with decluttering, do this in
LEARN IT YOUNG small steps and take one thing at a time. Begin
by moving. Literally. Exercise, regardless of
Sit down with your children one at a time and ask them to place all how light or little, is proven to boost your
their clothes in one pile. Tell them to hold an item and explain how it mood and motivation. The more you do, the
makes them feel. They’ll soon learn, as you did, how to instinctively better you’ll feel in your mind, as well as your
recognise what to keep and what to let go. Remember that you’re body. Next up, really look after yourself. This
means drinking enough water, eating right,
there simply as an observer, you must respect their choices. It’s and getting between seven and nine hours
important to be patient too; this is a new experience for them and of sleep a night. Spend less time online and
could take some time By encouraging your child to do this, it will help
to increase their confidence, decision-making and independence. Spend less
time online and
LET THE BAD FEELINGS GO living your life
virtually, and
Just as it’s important to let go of physical things you don’t need, the more time in
same is true emotionally. Emotions such as anger, resentment, guilt the real world
and self-loathing take away from your happiness, so learn to let them with people
who matter
go. Just saying ‘I forgive you’, can really help. to you
46 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
living your life virtually, and more time in the DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE
real world with people who matter to you.
Put effort into the activities you enjoy, and BENEFITS OF
indulge in ‘me’ time without feeling guilty. The DECLUTTERING
more you do this, the more you’ll convince
yourself you’re worthy of it and do deserve By selling items, you can recoup some cash, which is more than
good things. With your self-worth buoyed you had when the item was cluttering up your space. Try to imagine
you’ll begin to believe that you’re capable of
achieving what you want, that you can cope that you are paying a fee every month to store your junk; you’d
with change, that you can declutter your want to stop paying for this as soon as possible, especially as
home, and that you can live your life by the
values you believe to be important. you aren’t using the items.
Regular decluttering makes cleaning your house easier, simply
What means the most to you? because there are fewer things to move around. Decluttering also
Often, day to day routines take up so much makes you physically aware of your belongings – you have to
of your time that it’s easy to forget what’s handle them to know whether to keep or dump. This means
actually important, from spending time with you are less likely to buy multiples or replacements
loved ones to giving yourself some ‘me’ time. because you know exactly what you have and also
LOOK AT where to find it.
Decluttering isn’t an all or nothing task; it is a
YOURSELF process that you may have to restart more
BEING IS BELIEVING than once. This isn’t a reason to beat
yourself up or feel guilty. You’ve made a
What kind of person do you think
you are? If your answers are self- start – keep at it!
deprecating ones such as, ‘I’m 47
bad at organising’, or ‘I’m useless’,
you must change how you view
yourself. To attain success you
need to believe you’re worthy of
success. Now, what kind of person
do you want to be? Then be that
person! The only person able to
stop you is you.
BELIEVE IN THE BUZZ
If you won’t listen to other people
that change is good, then listen
to your instincts. Notice that buzz
of satisfaction you have when
you get rid of something you no
longer need. It feels good, right?
That feeling means you’re doing
the right thing. Enjoy it, let it feed
your positivity and boost your
self-esteem. You’re good at this
and you’re changing for
the better.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE
Accumulating possessions can mimic the STAY STRONG
feeling those things can give you, that excited
buzz that makes you feel as though you’ve SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM OBJECTS
achieved something. But you haven’t.
You are not your possessions. Likewise, the things you own do not
By really looking at your life, you can define your identity – you are still you without them. Don’t hang on to
determine what is actually important to things just because you feel they ‘say’ something about who you are,
you, and hopefully you can begin to realise and don’t do things that make you the person you want to be. Only
that your possessions aren’t. Putting your
life in context will help you to gain some keep something if it makes you happy.
perspective, which in turn encourages a more
positive mindset when getting rid of things GET MOVING
you no longer need.
If you’re stuck for ideas for your ‘most important’ list, get moving.
Start by thinking about all the things Exercise can improve positivity and creativity, two things you’ll find
that give your life purpose: family, friends, essential when putting your life under a microscope. It doesn’t have
relationships, perhaps work or education, to be a five-kilometre bike ride or an hour-long iron pumping session –
maybe leisurely or energetic pursuits.
Imagine yourself in your old age looking even a brisk walk around the block will do the trick.
back on your life – what sort of experiences
do you see yourself having? What are the NEW LEASE OF LIFE
things you think you’d wish you’d done more
of, and those that might matter less? Perhaps If ditching your stuff is tearing you up inside, find a positive way
you long to travel or accomplish something of letting it go. Try offering an item to a friend. Perhaps donate to
creative, like writing a book or composing a charity. Maybe you could repurpose or upcycle it into something you
piece of music. Write all these things down or someone else might want. Or, why not sell it and use the money to
and add to them when something new arises
or your tastes or lifestyle change. do something that’s on your list?
There’s no pressure to achieve these things By extrapolating this thought process to the your answer: it has become a burden and
right now. Instead, set yourself some short- things you own will help you to declutter. is no longer important. Your happiness is
and long-term goals, but be realistic with how Hold each item and ask yourself ‘do I really much more important than an object. What’s
long things take. For now, though, concentrate want or need this?’ ‘Is this important to me more, you don’t have to trash everything!
on getting your house in order. The last and my life?’ ‘Does this item make me happy?’ Sell what you can and use the money to buy
thing you want to do before taking on a large something that is important instead, or better
mission like decluttering is to pile on more Be completely honest and you should still, spend it on a day out or a holiday with
stress. The idea of the list is to use it to put have your answer immediately. If there’s the most important people in your life.
your possessions into context. Once you’re a hesitation, it could be that you want to
aware of what truly matters in your life, you say no, but something is holding you back; Dealing with guilt
can begin shedding yourself of the things that perhaps guilt or reluctance for thinking about Our belongings, regardless of how long
don’t. Then you’re free to spend all the time discarding an item that holds sentimental or we have owned them, have emotions and
you want on completing the rest of your list, monetary value. If this is the case, you have
with ‘declutter home’ checked off.
Understand your needs
19th-century artist and designer William
Morris once said: “Have nothing in your
houses that you do not know to be useful,
or believe to be beautiful,” and the sentiment
is as true today as it was then. But unlike life
almost 200 years ago, mass production, the
internet and moderately disposable incomes
have meant you can acquire possessions
much easier and at a much faster rate than
your ancestors. Combine that with your
instinct to rejoice at gain and grieve loss,
and it’s no wonder you have a house full
of clutter.
Imagine for a second that your house
was on fire – what possessions would
you carry out to safety? Likewise, if you
were stranded on a desert island – what
items would you need to survive? These
hypotheticals may seem silly, but they can
actually offer an insight into what you deem
most important to you and therefore what
you really want to keep, as well as the things
you consider ‘essential’, and so need to keep.
48 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE
Your memories may be triggered by an item
of clutter, but they are not attached by
an unbreakable bond; you won’t lose these
memories when you lose the item
THE THREE When decluttering, try not to feel that ‘Someday’ items
ridding yourself of something is an affront to Do you find that you have held on to clutter
‘C’S OF the person who gave it to you, or that they because it may come in useful ‘someday’, or
will find out and judge you. because you may fit into a piece of clothing
GETTING one day? You very well may, this isn’t a set
Unused gifts thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth holding
STUFF DONE Remember that the things you get rid of are onto for the rest of your life. This is as true for
just things; they’re not the people you love small things like pens and pencils as it is for
American psychologist Salvatore or the memories attached to them. Donating, larger items that can be hired or borrowed,
Maddi said that the combination selling or gifting an item that you have such as specialist sporting equipment.
been gifted is not a rejection of the person
of three attitudes (challenge, who gave it to you. Your memories may be If you find yourself worrying about
control and commitment) can triggered by an item of clutter, but they are changing your mind once you have thrown
help us to achieve things we not attached by an unbreakable bond; you something out, have a think about when
might not want to, or believe that won’t lose these memories when you lose you last used the item, or wore the piece
we can, do. First, challenge how the item. of clothing. It may sound harsh, but if you
you view a stressful situation, haven’t used it recently, you’re unlikely to
such as decluttering, and choose As a counterpoint to your sensitivities, in the future. Instead, pass the item directly
to see it more as an opportunity consider this: the gift giver may have onto someone who will use it, or donate it. If
than a problem. Second, take forgotten they gave it to you. Take a moment this seems unthinkable, give yourself a timed
control of the situation – don’t to try to remember the last few gifts you grace period. Box up the items and store them
allow yourself to be swept along gave them. The gift giver, most certainly, out of sight, then set a reminder to decide on
without focus. Finally, commit to wouldn’t want their gift to cause you worry. the fate of the clutter within six months to a
the task and commit to change. So try to release these guilty feelings when year. If you haven’t gone searching for them
decluttering; they may be causing you more or can’t remember what they were, you don’t
stress than the actual thing! need them. Absolve the guilt.
LEARN TO LET GO
memories attached to them. We might feel SUNK COST © Getty Images / Roi and Roi / Kupalina
a combination of guilt, relief and worry
when decluttering. It’s difficult when decluttering to get past the feeling that you don’t
want to waste the money that you spent on an item. Remember the
Guilt comes in many ways and forms. It
is primarily an emotion but it isn’t a good money has already been spent. Sunk cost is what you’ve already
motivator. Annoyingly, there isn’t one root spent on the item and you don’t recoup when donating, dumping or
cause for guilt, as with so many other gifting it. Either use this as an incentive to start using the item or get
emotions. Guilt often occurs when we rid of it; you’re not going to get your money’s worth by not using it.
believe, whether correctly or not, that we
have caused harm to another. Guilt can be DON’T TURN OFF YOUR EMOTIONS
internally focused as well as external. We
feel guilt that we have wasted money, time There is nothing wrong with the sting of saying goodbye to an item,
and space on clutter that we should not have but don’t keep it from allowing you to let go of clutter. Often, things
bought in the first place, especially if we now that were perfect for you, even not so long ago, may no longer work
view it as a non-essential. Be kind to yourself for you. Ask yourself whether you would buy it again today precisely
and remember that the items we have in our
home have had a purpose at one time or for this reason.
another, and we may have simply outgrown
their usefulness.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 49
IT’S A LAUGHING MATTER
IT’S A
MATTER
Psychologists have discovered that laughter
is not what we think it is
WORDS EDOARDO ALBERT
D id you hear the one about… opposed to being alone. Laughter is a social you will find yourself beginning to laugh
However good (or bad) the behaviour. It is infectious – just like yawning along in response.
rest of that joke might be, the – and is triggered by other people’s presence
one thing we know for sure and their laughter. In fact, try listening to But you won’t be the only one. Contra
about laughter is that the laughter. Just laughter, not the joke that Nietzsche, humans are not the only animals
person hearing a joke is far, far more likely to produced it or the pratfall, but just a genuine, that laugh. It has been observed in primates,
laugh if they are in the company of others, as full-on belly laugh. It’s more than likely that rats and many other mammals, associated
with the same sorts of behaviours that
50
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
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Psychology Now
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