Holeich Tamim

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ספר הולך תמים
One who walks with purity
In loving memory of Ze’ev ben Dov, Hugo Paluch z”l
Published by Yeshiva College and Hamaor Centre
Project Management: Rabbi Leron Bernstein, Rav Alexander Zev Wineberg and Ory Smadja Design and Layout: Dan Chazen
Editing and Proofing: Rabbi Ilan Raanan, Rabbi Eliezer Auerbach, Rabbanit Mira Glicksberg, Shirley Saacks and Ronit Janet
Production: Cheryl Harton-Hotinsky and Beverley Rau
For any responses to the Torah articles contained herein, or to order more copies of this
journal, please email [email protected]
© Yeshiva College and Hamaor Centre 2017. All rights reserved
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ספר הולך תמים
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
Foreword
Dov and Nicole Paluch
Foreword
Yeshiva College
Foreword
Hamaor Center
Hugo’s Torah – Parshat Nasso
Barmitzvah Drasha, Hugo Paluch z”l
BEIN ADAM L’CHAVEIRO
RELATIONSHIPS
Returning To A World Of Loving Friendship
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PAGE 9 PAGE 10
PAGE 12 PAGE 17
PAGE 20
PAGE 23
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PAGE 26 PAGE 29
PAGE 32
PAGE 34
UOS, Chief Rabbi Dr Warren Goldstein
What Do You Twitter? Loshon Hora In The Social Media Era Kollel Menachem Lubuvitch, Rabbi Yonason Johnson Walking In The Ways Of Hashem
Yeshivah Gedola Johannesburg, Rabbi Hillel Bernstein Loving Another Jew
Hamaor Center, Rabbi Zevi Wineberg
Good and Bad Jealousy
Hugo’s Barmitzvah Teacher , Rabbi David Chiger Renovations Without Reservations
Yeshiva Lerabbonus Pretoria, Rabbi Chaim Finkelstein נשואין And קידושין The Mitzvah Of
Yeshiva College, Ory Smadja
Arguments For The Sake Of Heaven
Waverley Shul, Rabbi David Nossel
Carrying The Burden With His Friend
Hirsch Lyons, Rabbi Darryl Froom
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CHESSED
A Deeper Meaning Behind Tzedaka
Bnei Akiva South Africa, Rabbi Daniel Kaplan Chesed Is More Than Kindness
Mizrachi South Africa, Rabbi Shmuli Kagan Authentic Leadership – Giving A Smile With Tzedakkah Yeshiva College, Rabbi Leron Bernstein
The Boy I Wish I Had Never Met
Hatzloah | Netcare, Dr Reuven Jacks
BEIN ADAM L’ATZMO
SELF DEVELOPMENT
Determining A Person’s Value
Hamaor Center, Rabbi Berel Rodal
The Snake 2.0
Shomer Emunim, Rabbi Adam Eliyahu Saffer Spiritual Maturity
Sunny Road Shul, Rabbi Danny Sackstein Infinite Potential
The Academy, Rabbi Ramon Widmonte Who’s Who In The Zoo?
Keter Torah, Rabbi Moishe Schnerb
BEIN ADAM L’MAKOM
TEFILLAH
Do A Shul And A Beit Hamedrash Require A Mezuza?
Chevrah Kadisha, Rabbi Jonathan Fox Darkness And Light
Or Chadash, Rabbi Ari Taback
The Magic Of A Shul
Sandton Shul, Rabbi Tzadok Shmuel Suchard The Custom Of Reciting The Piyut Yigdal Blairgowrie Hebrew Centre, Rabbi Yitzchak Bacher Can One Fulfill The Mitzvah Of Night Time Shema While Reciting The Bed Time Shema
Kollel Erev Lubuvitch, Rabbi Shlomo Raitport
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PAGE 44
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PAGE 53 PAGE 55 PAGE 57
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PAGE 63 PAGE 65
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PAGE 69 PAGE 71
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PERSPECTIVES
Positivity In The Life And Teachings Of R’ Akiva
PAGE 73 PAGE 76
PAGE 78
PAGE 79
PAGE 81
PAGE 118 PAGE 116 PAGE 114 PAGE 113 PAGE 111 PAGE 110 PAGE 109 PAGE 105 PAGE 103 PAGE 101 PAGE 99 PAGE 93 PAGE 87
Mizrachi Melbourne, Rabbi Danny Mirvis Bringing The Redemption
Kollel Beth Hatalmud, Rabbi Binyamin Wurzburger Console Console My People
Chabad of Melbourne, Rabbi Shloimeh Nathanson Tammuz 74
Yeshivas Meshech Chochma, Rabbi Shimon Wolpe Two Ideas Regarding Shabbos Observance
King David Schools, RabbiiJRusictiknySweeafine HEBREW ARTICLES
בירור בברכת "שפטרני מעונשו של זה"
Yeshiva College, Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Tanzer shlit”a "כל נדיב לבו" - צדקה שניתן על תנאי
Hamaor Center, Rabbi Levy Wineberg
בענין ירושה והיאך לכתוב צוואה
JHB Beth Din, Rabbi Tzadok Shmuel Suchard בענין הכנסת אורחים
PHC & SA Rabbinical Association, Rabbi Gidon Fox הקשר בין אהבת ה' והמצוה ללמד תורה
Ohr Somayach Glenhazel, Rabbi Yechezkiel Auerbach ביאור בפלוגתת ר"ע ורשב"ג אם צום העשירי הוא עשרה בטבת Ohr Yisrael Shul, Rabbi Dov Tanzer
עין טובה – בלי עין הרע
Adas Yeshurun, Rabbi Yossi Salzer
ביאור בנרות חנוכה שכבו בערב שבת
Torah Academy Schools, Rabbi Reuven Finkelstein בענין אין מערבין שמחה בשמחה
Shaarei Torah, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Salzer
בענין מצוות הצדקה וגמילות חסד
Yeshivat Maharsha, Rabbi Shimon Pinski
מחלוקת בית שמאי ובית הלל בדין היושב בסוכה ושולחנו בתוך הבית Kollel Yad Shaul, Rabbi Eliezer Auerbach
עיונים במצות קדושים תהיו
Ohr Somayach Sandton, Rabbi Ze’ev Kraines 'שיטתם של רבן גמליאל וחביריו בענין 'כמות' ו'איכות Northcliff Shul, Rabbi Pesach Fishman
TRIBUTES
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PAGES 120 - 126


FOREWORD
DOV AND NICOLE PALUCH
On the morning of Hugo’s accident I was privileged to join him in learning about Mezuzot.
When I came to learn, Hugo had invited his friends whose parents could not make it to the Generation Sinai learning morning.
My last interaction with Hugo was learning Torah together. The last act that I saw him do was chessed in inviting his friends to learn with us.
This is why Nicole and I are so excited about this Torah Journal being produced in Hugo’s memory.
This journal brings together Hugo’s love of Torah with his obsession with chessed and mitzvot of bein adam lechavero, beween man and his friend.
Please G-d the messages in this journal should inspire our community to continue Hugo’s message of seeing every individual and treating them with respect
in the true Torah way
.
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FOREWORD
YESHIVA COLLEGE
Dear Friends,
We find ourselves traversing a most unimaginable path. The passing of Hugo, Ze’ev ben Dov z”l, has left a gaping hole within us all - one which we will carry forever. We feel this deep pain, as we reach out to Dov and Nicole and the Paluch and Rubin families, wishing them endless strength and comfort at this tragic time. The world we lived in before, is not the world that we live in today.
This beautiful young boy, shining with chein, from his internal middot through to his external smile, left our world tragically, and we are left with the impossible challenge of working out how we move forward, one step ahead of the next, in a future that we could never have planned for, nor one which we want to contemplate.
Victor Frankl, holocaust survivor and founder of logotherapy suggests a paradigm when faced with incomprehensible tragedy. Encapsulating the core of his philosophy, he writes that, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Our defining response as Jews has always been to find every opportunity to force light into the darkness, no matter what. When we are faced with destruction, we search for the means to build. Rav Kook zt”l directs us through his uplifting words, “The Pure Tzadikkim do not bemoan evil, but increase in righteousness; do not bemoan heresy, but increase in belief, do not bemoan foolishness, but increase in wisdom.” This is a most demanding response, but it is one that has sustained us and motivated us, as a people, throughout our existence.
Throughout this tragedy, this too has been the response of our remarkable community. It is astounding to consider the far-reaching impact Hugo has had on the world. People, near and far, have been touched and moved - inspired to live lives imbued with more meaning, filled with increased kindness, chessed, tolerance, sensitivity, unity and love - the world Hugo was creating through his actions every day on this earth.
Hugo had an innate love and thirst for learning Torah. No matter what situation he found himself in, he would always strive to learn more and further immerse himself in a Torah environment. And so too, the community responded in increased Talmud Torah and Tefilla, b’zchut Ze’ev ben Dov z”l.
Hugo turned 14 the day before he passed from this world and left us with the legacy of a boy who walked both in this world and in the world above. On that day, the relevant chapter of Tehillim for his fifteenth year became Tehillim Ch. 15. These descriptions composed by David HaMelech could not be more apt. One verse, in its entirety captured his essence most beautifully,
"ה ֵל ת ִמים ֹפ ֵעל ֶצ ֶדק ְו ֹד ֵבר ֱא ֶמת ב ְל ָבבו"
“One who walks with purity, affects righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart.” (Tehillim 15:2)
In our pursuit to perpetuate the legacy of Hugo, we, Yeshiva College, as his ‘Beit Medrash’ collaborated with, Hamaor Center, his ‘Beit Knesset’ to reach out to our unified community to be ‘mechadesh’ and share Torah in his merit. Both our institutions regularly put out Torah publications
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and here we seized the opportunity to work together, exemplifying the achdut that Hugo imbibed. We are completely overwhelmed by the response of the Rabbanim and teachers across our community, who all invested tremendous time, effort and wisdom to contribute wonderful Torah articles l’ilui Nishmat Ze’ev ben Dov. Thank you to all of you and to all those that have worked tirelessly to put this sefer together in a very limited timespan, to commemorate the shloshim of Ze’ev ben Dov z”l.
We chose to call this sefer, ‘Holeich Tamim’ - ‘One Who Walks with Purity’, as this phrase so beautifully captures Hugo’s unique blend of middot.
Hugo walked this world with a humility, hopeful optimism and tenacity that was undefeatable. His face shone with a purity that was always other-worldly and with this strength, he unapologetically cared for others at every opportunity that he found, and in all those that he created. It is one thing to stand still and be pure, but it is something special to push forward at every moment with mission and purpose, and retain that purity and naivety - Hugo had the rare gift to be able to do this. He was ‘holeich’ and ‘tamim’ simultaneously.
Yaakov Avinu boldly envisioned the connection between heaven and earth, with a ladder rooted firmly in the ground, reaching high into the Heavens. Yaakov is described as an ‘Ish Tam, Yosheiv Ohalim’ (Bereishit 25:27) - retaining his purity when blending two seemingly opposite realms together. Hugo had the remarkable ability to be completely present in this world - delightful, humorous and even cheeky, and at the same time completely pure, innocent and caring. An angelic boy running from heaven down to earth, and from earth back up to heaven again.
“The Torah of Hashem is perfect (Tmimah), restoring the soul; the decrees of Hashem are enduring, making the simple, wise” (Tehillim 19:8). The Torah itself is described as Tamim, and teaches us Halacha - the way we are to walk in this world. Please G-d, may the Torah learnt through this publication be a zchut for Hugo, and be a comfort for his dear family.
We miss Hugo dearly - taken from this world so unexpectedly. The next steps he takes in this world are now ours - his family, friends, teachers and all those that he has touched. It is up to us to take those strides to fulfill his unfinished legacy. We do this through the Torah we learn, the acts we perform and the kindness we show. These were what propelled Hugo each day of his life and are the very legs of our world, “On three things the world stands - on Torah, on Service and on Acts of Loving Kindness” (Pirkei Avot 1:2).
We now walk this journey without Hugo and for Hugo. Yehi Zichro Baruch.
Rabbi Leron Bernstein Rabbi Avraham Tanzer shlit”a
Managing Director Rosh Yeshiva Yeshiva College Schools
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This publication is, IY”H, coming out just before, ’Bein Hametzarim’, where we mourn the loss of our precious Beit HaMikdash. We know that the tikkun for this destruction caused by sinat chinam (baseless hate), is to rebuild the world through ahavat chinam (baseless love) and we hope that these Torah articles will inspire greater conduct bein adam l’chaveiro (interpersonal) as a zchut for the neshama of our dear Ze’ev ben Dov z”l and to P”G usher in the rebuilding of the Beit Hamikdash and a time when, “He will destroy death forever, and Hashem, our G-d, will wipe the tears away from all faces, and will put an end to the reproach of His people over all the earth— For it is Hashem who has spoken.” (Yeshayahu 25:8).
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FOREWORD
HAMAOR CENTRE
Dear Rabbis, Lay Leaders and friends in our Johannesburg Jewish Community,
The recent tragic passing of young Hugo Paluch has left all of us bereaved. As a Kehilla, we stood together in those tense days when Hugo’s life was in the balance. We recited Tehillim, prayed, flooded the hospital corridors, and we felt the anguish of Dov and Nicole and the entire Paluch family. Now that he has passed on, we share their grief.
With the end of Shloshim, it becomes imperative to engage in rebuilding the ruins. B”Nyan (“building”) to replace churB”N (=“destruction”, but also “the void” of (an absent) “son”.
What is the most appropriate type of “building”? Our Sages expounded the verse
ישעיהו פרק נד :יג
ְוָכל־ָב נ ִי ִל דיְיֹקָ וקְו רב ְש֥ל ם ָבָנ ִי : “When all your children learn Hashem’s Word, they will be builders of abundant peace”.
We build by increasing Torah study.
To this end, Yeshiva College and Hamaor Centre, which serves as the Beit Midrash and the Shul for the Paluchs in recent years, undertook to publish this book of Torah articles about Tzedaka and Acts of Benevolence etc. These matters were so close to Hugo’s heart, and by studying them his soul lives on among us and continues to inspire us. This also is a source of comfort to his dear parents and family, and indeed to the entire Kehilla.
We are grateful to Hashem that this book has come to fruition and thank all those involved. Most notably Rabbi Leron Bernstein of Yeshiva College who managed the project, Ory Smadja who co-managed, Dan Chazen, Cheryl Harton-Hotinsky, Beverly Rau and Shirley Saacks who facilitated the collecting of articles, editing and publishing of the book, the editors Rabbi Ilan Raanan, Rabbi Eliezer Aurebach, Rabbanit Mira Glicksburg and Mrs Ronit Janet and all the contributors.
For Hamaor, this book is part of a series of Community wide Torah journals that we have been publishing over the last few years. We hope that this book will arouse further discussion on the topics addressed and will be published in future journals.
May the A-lmighty grant us all joyful occasions and nachas for the future, individually and communally.
Rabbi Levy Wineberg
Dean
Hamaor Center
Rabbi Berel Rodal
Shul
Hamaor Center
Rabbi AZ Wineberg
Learning Center Hamaor Center
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HUGO’S TORAH – PARSHAT NASSO
HUGO PALUCH Z”L
BARMITZVAH DRASHA
Hugo delivered his Barmitzvah Drasha on the 12th of Sivan 5776, exactly one year before he passed away, on the 12th of Sivan 5777.
In Sefer Mishlei 1:8 we learn the famous words,
ש ַ מע ב ִני מ ַ סר ָא ִ בי ו ַאל־ ִת טש ת ַ רת ִא מ ׃
“My son, heed the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the Torah of your mother”
It became evident while producing this publication, that in this drasha, Hugo taught from Rabbi Milston, Torah teacher of his mother, and from the Radomske Rebbe, a direct ancestor of his father. He also quotes the Kli Yakar, Rav Luntschitz, renowned for his commentary in which he masterfully ties many things together in his, ‘precious vessel’. May Hugo’s beautiful Torah Chidush below, a most fitting introduction to the Torah articles written in his merit, be a source of comfort for his dear parents. ------
This morning in Shul I read from Parshat Nasso. The Parsha begins by continuing with the division of the work to be done by the different families of the Leviim. Kehat, Gershon and Merari. Rabbi Milston brought an interesting insight into the division of the work.
The Torah tells us that the family of Kehat was mentioned first and received the most important tasks of looking after the Aron Hakodesh. The question is why was this not given to Gershon who was the firstborn?
The Keli Yakar explains that Hashem specifically did not want to give the important role to the firstborn to show Bnei Yisrael that there is no spiritual order in Judaism. We need to learn that spiritual attainment is entirely dependent on the efforts of the people involved and not on where they come from? Which family or who they know.
This links in very nicely to the end of the Parsha that deals with the sacrifices that each tribe brought. Each tribe brought exactly the same sacrifices, but the Torah still mentions 12 times what the tribes brought. Why go into so much detail?
The Radomske Rebbe explains that although each tribe brought the same thing, to each tribe it symbolized something different. The Torah is teaching us that each tribe brought their own experiences and perspective to the offering. This very same act was differently coloured by the individual nature of the tribes.
As with the drasha on the Leviim families, once again the Torah is showing us that it is all about our own efforts. We may all be doing similar things, but the result will depend on us individually.
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ENGLISH ARTICLES
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Dear Friends,
RETURNING TO A WORLD OF LOVING FRIENDSHIP
CHIEF RABBI, DR WARREN GOLDSTEIN
UOS
This is an essay about “returning to a world of loving friendship” during the nine days that lead up to Tisha B’Av and it is in the honour of Hugo Paluch, who was a loving friend to so many people. Hugo was a talented young leader, an activist for good, working on projects to make the world into a better place and raising funds for many worthy causes. Hugo was a very special young man, who brought happiness to his family and all who knew him. I know of countless stories of remarkable acts of kindness of his. His parents, Dov and Nicole, are beloved friends to me and my family and to so many others, and our special community’s inspiring and united response to this tragedy, is testimony to the greatness of the Paluch family.
In the merit of all the good that Hugo did, and which he continues to inspire us to do, may Hashem bless his family, and indeed all of us, with comfort, strength and goodness.
With blessings,
Chief Rabbi Warren Goldstein
Returning To A World Of Loving Friendship
Often in life a whole world is contained in a single phrase. There is a particular phrase that encapsulates the times that we will soon find ourselves in, the nine days of intensive mourning and sadness, that lead up to the commemoration fast on the 9th of the Hebrew month of Av, the 24 hour fast of Tisha B’Av. This fast recalls the destruction of the two temples, the exile, the persecution, the suffering and all the sadness our people have gone through. The Talmud relates that on the first recorded 9th ofAv in history the spies came back with their negative reports about the land.
A single word
There are many different dimensions to the history of this day: historically, emotionally and religiously. The prophet Jeremiah uses one word to sum it up. It’s the word at the beginning of Eicha, the Book of Lamentations, which is read as one of the laws and customs of the Tisha B’Av service. Jeremiah describes the invasion of Jerusalem at the hands of the Babylonian empire, the destruction, the burning down of the Temple and all of the contents of the Temple and Jerusalem being plundered and looted by the invading Babylonians and the people forced into exile, with the opening three words. It says: “Behold, she sits alone”.
At first glance it doesn’t seem to make sense. The city of Jerusalem has just been destroyed, its Temple is burning, people are being exiled, terrible calamities have taken place and he sums it up in that one word – alone. Why is that word used to sum up the essence of the suffering and the essence of what we are commemorating on this day?
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The Talmud links the loneliness of the city of Jerusalem, the Temple and the people who were exiled at that time, together with the loneliness of the person who was sent out the camp in the desert. The Torah describes a particular spiritual disease that manifested itself physically as a sign of a person’s wrong-doing called tzara’at, which is often mistranslated as leprosy. It’s not actually a physical disease, it was a spiritual disease with physical symptoms which the Talmud says comes as a result of lashon hara, speaking badly about people. It only occurred during biblical times when people were on the right level to interpret it. If a person contracted what was called tzara’at, he was sent out the camp to sit alone. “He shall sit alone outside the camp”. The Talmud links the sitting alone outside the camp with tzara’at, together with the loneliness that is described of the city of Jerusalem at the time of her destruction.
What is the connection? The one is obviously that the destruction of Jerusalem and the Temple, was brought about by the wrong-doings and the sins of the people at the time as the Talmud records. And that’s why a major theme of this period is repentance, to undo the wrongs that were done in the past. But there could be something else, because there is another passage in the Talmud which says that a person who has this tzara’at and is sent out the camp, it’s as if the person is dead – that a part of them has died. And it similarly says that a person who lives in absolute desperate poverty where they can hardly survive, that kind of crushing poverty is also a form of death.
The need to give
How do we understand that? Rav Chaim Shmulevitz, one of the great Rabbis of the 20th century who was a great teacher and leader in the Mir Yeshiva, explains that the human being has a great need to give to other people. G-d implanted in our souls a need to give. When we are isolated from other people in such a way that we are unable to give to anybody, then the human spirit is crushed. So the person who has tzara’at and is forced to leave the camp, is alone and isolated, so they cannot give to anybody, and therefore, that is a form of death. A person who is living in crushing poverty also can’t give to anybody because they are so consumed with survival and finding the next piece of bread and the next coin in order to survive, that they are unable to give to other people.
Using that explanation we can understand a little bit more about the city of Jerusalem where it’s described as she dwells alone. Jerusalem, the Jewish people and the Temple, dwell alone at that point of the destruction. Meaning: at that time the people were consumed with the top priority of survival. There was no opportunity to give, to shed light in the world as is the mission of our people. We were denied all of that in that terrible destruction and therefore the comparison to the person who contracts tzara’at, becomes a very real one because it’s saying we didn’t have that capacity to reach out.
What’s interesting about the word badad – alone – is that it encapsulates the devastation and the destruction, yet it teaches us something very important for our day-to-day lives. That a very important part of being a functioning, happy and productive human being, is to be a person who gives to others. If you don’t give and reach out to others, then an important part of our soul is not being nurtured and we never really are alive. That’s part of the very essence of what it means to be alive. And, therefore, the prophet could find no better way to describe the plight of Jerusalem than ‘alone’.
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‘Alone’ is not about the physical company, it’s about actually doing, and this is a question that each one of us has to ask in our own lives – can we help others? Are we helping others and are we making a difference to other people’s lives? Because that’s when we really become alive and that is when we don’t feel isolated and alone in the world – when we are making a difference to others and we are needed and are helping others.
A world of loving friendship
There is another message which is connected to this word ‘alone’. Judaism has a philosophy and a message for life but it also has lots of rules. We have 613 commandments and each one of those commandments is divided into further instructions and rules. There were those which were mandated and legislated by G-d Himself through the Torah, and then there was the Rabbinic legislation that came afterwards – and that’s all of what makes up Judaism. However, what is the philosophy that holds all of these 613 commandments together?
The Talmud says, “Let the son of a friend build a place of friendship for the friend in the portion of the friend for the sake of his friends”. What does it mean by this? Who are all these friends? The explanation of the Talmud is as follows: One of King Solomon’s names was Yedidyah, which means the friend of Hashem. So then it means let the friend of G-d, who is King Solomon, the son of the friend referring to Avraham as he is a descendant from Avraham, come and build the place of friendship – which is the Temple. It’s a place of friendship – for the friend. Who is the friend that you are building the place of friendship for? For Hashem. In the portion of the friend, which is the portion of the tribe of Benjamin in which the Temple was built because Benjamin is described as the friend of Hashem. And he should do it for the sake of all the friends, for the atonement of all the friends, which was the Children of Israel.
Let’s try and understand what this means, because seemingly, what is the repetition of this notion of friendship and loving friendship? Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, one of the great Rabbis of the 20th Century who passed away a few years ago, said that in this passage is contained the philosophy of Judaism. That Judaism is not about the laws, although it is about the laws; it’s not about the rules, although it is about the rules; it is not about the details, although it is about the details. It is all of these rules and details and laws that are contained within a broader philosophy of two Hebrew words that he says sums up the essence of Judaism – Olam HaYedidut, the world of loving friendship. It is a loving friendship between us and G-d. That the commandments, the mitzvoth, that we fulfil, are commandments which are part of a loving relationship that we have with G-d, and to enter into that world, is to enter into a world of loving friendship with G-d. He draws this whole philosophy out of this passage. The Temple is a place of loving friendship between G-d and the world. And that’s why the ultimate vision for the Messianic Times is a time when all the nations of the world will come up and serve in the Temple in Jerusalem recognising and engaging in this relationship with G-d.
Within this is then contained that whole philosophy of Judaism. And Rabbi Wolbe says every component of Judaism fits into this. Some of the commandments are Bein Adam L'Chavero - between one person and his fellow, which are commandments about interpersonal relationships – how to speak to people, what one needs to do for the poor and how to engage with sensitivity, kindness and compassion with every person. Then there are the commandments between Adam Le’Makom which deal with the relationship between us and G-d. Rabbi Wolbe says that all of this is about the world of loving friendship. There is the world of loving friendship between one person and another and there is the world of loving friendship between a person and G-d. But
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even the laws between one person and another, are also part of the loving friendship with G-d because G-d includes every dimension of all of these different commandments of Judaism. For example, the Shabbat day is a day dedicated to G-d. But it’s also a day of dedication to family and to community and to spiritual emotional upliftment.
And that is why, he says, idolatry – the service of false idols – in Talmudic terminology is called Avodah Zarah which means the strange worship. Why strange worship? A stranger is the opposite of a friend. When one engages with G-d as we should do in accordance with His Will then we are in the world of loving friendship. When we move away from that, then that is the world of strangeness. And that’s why he says that in Hebrew the word for cruelty is achzar – which is related to the word zar meaning stranger – because cruelty is where you behave as a stranger to another human being. When one acts with cruelty, then one leaves the world of loving friendship and goes into the world of strangeness and alienation because the Torah commands us to act with kindness, compassion and sensitivity. When we are disconnected from G-d and disconnected from the purpose which we were sent into this world to do, then we feel strange and isolated from ourselves.
At a circumcision, the blessing we say is, “We bless G-d who has sanctified the young friend, the friend from the womb”. Since when did the baby become everyone’s friend? Hardly anyone knows him. But it means that this is the baby who is born into the covenant and born into this world of loving friendship, and therefore he is called the yedid.
Returning to G-d
We can understand now why the prophet chose the words, “Behold she dwells alone”. Because the destruction of Jerusalem, the Temple and the Jewish people at that time was really a removal and a stepping back from the world of loving friendship. The Temple that represents this loving relationship with G-d to the extent that it is called the house and the home of friendship, had become destroyed because the people were alienated from G-d. And the destruction only came about because of the alienation. That’s why the major theme of these days, and even more so on Tisha B’Av itself, is not just mourning or what we call availut, but also teshuvah, repentance – reconnecting with G-d and returning to that world of loving friendship.
There is a magnificent passage in the Talmud where it compares the emptiness of Jerusalem at that moment to the emptiness of a nest. It says that the Divine Presence hovered over the city of Jerusalem at that point of the destruction and it compares it to a bird that hovers over its nest when the young have been taken or killed and the eggs have been removed. And it says that it hovers over alone.
So the word ‘alone’ in those opening words of the Book of Lamentations, according to the Talmud, could also refer to the aloneness, so to speak, of G-d. That He hovers over the nest, the holy city of Jerusalem and it is deserted and empty of its people because of the destruction.
So not only were the people alone, but G-d was alone too. And it makes sense because if you are in a relationship of loving friendship, if one party is estranged from the relationship then the other party is alone as well. You can’t be together and alone at the same time. If the one party steps back from the relationship and they are alone, then so too is the other party.
Tisha B’Av really is an attempt to find each other. We go into this day of the pain and mourning and we sit on the floor and fast with the lights dimmed while mournful dirges are recited. And we attempt to find G-d to say that we want to rebuild that loving friendship and find our way
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back to Him so we can rebuild our lives. Today, thank G-d, we have seen great miracles as the Jewish people have returned to Jerusalem and the city is bustling with people. Yet at the same time, we realise that we do live in times of destruction as well, that there is so much that we long for in terms of peace in Israel and for the true spiritual glory of Jerusalem to return. For the rebuilding of the Temple and the final redemption of the world. So while we take cognizance of the great miracles that have been done in our times, we realise with a heavy heart how much pain and destruction there still is and that we long for the end of that.
That’s what the 9th ofAv and these days of mourning are all about – to realise what is lacking in the world; that the Temple which stood in its glory in Jerusalem, symbolic of loving friendship. We long for its rebuilding as a symbol of the regeneration of this loving friendship. Yet we know that we can rebuild this relationship with G-d in our own lives and that G-d is waiting to embrace us in that loving relationship.
But we realise at the same time that the ultimate redemption is when G-d’s relationship with the world as whole is restored, not only as individuals or communities, but the world as a whole. And the Talmud says that one of the questions we are asked when we come to the next world is, did you long and yearn for the redemption? We realise what we are missing, the lacking of the current situation. This Shabbos before Tisha B’Av has a special name – it is called Shabbat Chazon, the Shabbos of the Vision. The Great Vision of Isaiah the Prophet who gave direction to our people all of those generations ago and whose message, given to him by G-d, still rings with clarity today. As we go into that Shabbos of vision, we pray that we will be able to see with clarity the vision of G-d for the world, and we pray for the final redemption to come to the world so that indeed all human suffering can come to an end. As the famous verse says “May G- d cause death to vanish in life eternal and may G-d wipe away tears from all faces” and may we see the redemption speedily in our days.
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WHAT DO YOU TWITTER? LOSHON HORA IN THE SOCIAL MEDIA ERA
RABBI YONASON JOHNSON
KOLLEL MENACHEM LUBUVITCH
Social media has revolutionised the way we communicate. Facebook, Blogs, WhatsApp and of course Twitter’s short 140 character “tweets”, enables us to communicate our thoughts instantaneously across the world.
Parshas Metzora describes the purification of the Metzora. There are many negative qualities for which a person would be afflicted with Tzaraas, but the most famous is for the sin of Lashon Hora, slanderous speech.
The Metzora is treated Middah Kneged Middah. Just as Lashon Hora causes the person spoken about to become socially isolated, the Metzora had to experience the same isolation by being sent out of the city. As part of their purification, the Metzora would bring 2 birds. Why birds? Says the Talmud (Arachin 16a), because like the speaker of Lashon Hora, they Twitter!
Guarding our speech is an important part of Yiddishkeit. At the end of every Shemoneh Esrei, we ask Hashem to guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking deceitfully. Many great tragedies, including the sale of Yosef, the decree that Bnei Yisroel could not enter Eretz Yisroel and the destruction of the second Beis Hamikdosh and subsequent Golus, came about because of Lashon Hora. The Chofetz Chaim lists 17 Issurim Deoraisa which are possibly violated each time Lashon Hora is spoken.
Some Halachos
The halachos of Lashon Hora have been set forth by Rabbi Yisroel Meir Kagan of Radin, also known as the Chofetz Chaim after his magnum opus on guarding our speech. The Rebbe referred to the Chofetz Chaim as someone who championed Ahavas Yisroel (and in this merit his Mishna Berura was accepted throughout the world). Some Halachos of note include:
● Lashon Hora is specifically true information which is negative or harmful to another person. False slander falls into a different category known as Motzi Sheim Ra.
● Lashon Hora applies even when not spoken out of hatred or intent to do harm.
● The Issur of speaking Lashon Hora applies when spoken about any Jew, whether male or female, adult or child, whether they are alive or deceased. It makes no difference if they
are a related to you.
● Lashon Hora should not be spoken even between family members or between husband
and wife.
● It is forbidden to accept or believe Lashon Hora. One who accepts Lashon Hora is even
worse than the one who spoke it (Kitsur Shulchan Aruch 30).
● Lashon Hora can be spoken, written or even implied through hints and gestures.
מכה רעהו בסתר Anonymous Pashkvilin (or blog comments) also violates ●
● A mis-understood halocha is that when Lashon Hora is already public knowledge, there is
no further violation on speaking it. In truth, if the intention is to further the Lashon Hora, or it is spread to those would not otherwise know, it remains ossur no matter how many others have already heard it.
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● Lashon Hora about Talmidei Chachamim violates the posuk את דבר ה' ביזה (YD 343:6). The Chofetz Chaim writes that when slanders a Rov who paskens shaalos, this can cause great damage by encouraging people to stop asking shaalos or follow piskei halocha.
● If and when matters arise which need to be discussed or communicated as a Toeles, they need to be done in a forum and manner which is appropriate (in private and without embarrassment) and only in a manner which can be constructive and in consultation with a Rov or Mashpia.
A Word on Technology
Technology has changed our lives so much and brings with it its own halachic considerations. The Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch said that a spoken word will reach rabim (not only those present). A written word reaches the entire world, and the printed word is for all generations.
This pisgam is applied in the positive sense; words of Torah which are written or printed will impact for all time. It is also true on the converse. Lashon Hora which is spoken, will have a limited reach. But Lashon Hora which has been printed, is ledorei doros.
This is much more the case with social media. An email or blog can go viral, reaching literally the entire world within minutes. One click could lead to destroyed reputations, destroyed relationships and friendships, loss of parnasa, compromised shidduchim, and all too common with internet bullying, lead to loss of life R”L.
The digital “footprint” means whatever is uploaded or put into cyberspace, remains forever. Spoken Lashon Hora will eventually be forgotten or become old news. But in cyberspace it remains forever and the damage is perpetuated. If we take the famous parable of the pillow and retrieving feathers, online it is a virtual impossibility.
The Chassidic Approach
Lashon Hora was traditionally a rarely discussed topic in Chassidic circles. This was not chas veshalom because the halachos are not important and need not be studied. Rather, it is because Chassidus emphasises the assured way to control our speech – by increasing Ahavas Yisroel and speaking positively about others. In the Alter Rebbe’s words;
"Therefore, my beloved and dear ones, I beg again and again that each of you exert himself with all his heart and soul to firmly implant in his heart a love for his fellow. And, in the words of verse “let none of you consider in your heart what is evil for his fellow.” Moreover, [such a consideration] should never arise in one’s heart [in the first place]; and if it does arise, one should push it away from his heart “as smoke is driven away,” as if it were an actual idolatrous thought. For to speak evil [of another] is as grave as idolatry and incest and bloodshed. And if this be so with speech, [then surely thinking evil about another is even worse]; for all the wise of heart are aware of the greater impact [on the soul] of thought over speech!" (Tanya Igeres Hakodesh 22).
The ultimate way to overcome negativity and darkness, is by focusing on the positive and bringing light. In a Sicha on Parshas Emor (Likkutei Sichos 27), the Lubavitcher Rebbe observes;
The Midrash teaches that Lashon Hora kills three people – the one who speaks it, the one who hears it and the one of whom it is being said. It is understandable why the ones who hears or speaks Lashon Hora is affected negatively, because they are involved in a sin. But why should the innocent person about whom it is said, be affected?
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The Rebbe explains that speech reveals that which was hidden. When we speak negatively about others, we harm them by bringing their faults into the revealed state. Until then, their faults may have been hidden and unexpressed. When we ‘reveal’ it through our speech, we bring that fault into the “world of speech”, activating it and bringing it out into the open. This is the negative impact on the one spoken about. The label becomes self-fulfilling.
The Torah is interpreted מכלל לאו אתה שומע הן. From the negative we can deduce the positive, and the good is always infinitely more powerful than the negative.
Speaking positively about others and complimenting their strengths and qualities, creates an infinite goodness. When we make a point to focus on and emphasise the virtues of another person and reveal that in our speech, we reveal it within them and help them to actualise those very virtues.
In his famous Tefillah the Noam Elimelech writes Place into our hearts that we should see the qualities of our friends and not their shortcomings. And that each of us should speak about their friend in a way which is upright and favourable before You.
Shlomo Hamelech says, Life and death are in the hands of the tongue) Mishlei 18:21). Our tongues, our blogs, online comments and email and social media accounts are powerful tools which literally hold the balance between life and death, between Golus and the Geulah which are all awaiting. How we use them and what we use them for, is in our hands.
Let’s unleash a revolution of Lashon HaTov and go viral with words of positivity. Let’s print words which will impact generations with Ahavas Yisroel and Achdus Yisroel. Let’s see and focus on the good qualities in others and always try to judge them favourably. Remember to compliment others and praise their actions. A word of support, acknowledgement and encouragement, can go a long way.
So the next time you “tweet”, fill your 140 characters with words which will promote peace and harmony, respect and love and do your part to eradicate the world of negativity and darkness. Those 140 characters may just have the power to bring the Geulah.
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WALKING IN THE WAYS OF HASHEM
RABBI HILLEL BERNSTEIN
YESHIVAH GEDOLA OF JOHANNESBURG
I was privileged to teach Hugo at Hirsch Lyons and afterwards privately. Hugo had a great thirst for Torah and was well-known for his amazing love of Chesed which he did so much of in his lifetime, and even more afterwards! May his memory be for a blessing, and may Hashem send comfort to his special family, and to all of us!
The following is based on Shiurim I heard from my teacher, Rabbi Azriel Chaim Goldfein Ztz"l.
The Torah states in Devarim 28:9 - "And you shall walk in His Ways." This is a command to emulate Hashem which is repeated 8 times in the book of Devarim (Ahavas Chesed). This Mitzva is not merely one out of 613, but a major area of Avodas Hashem. The Mesillas Yesharim (Introduction) brings the Posuk in Parshas Eikev (10:12-13) when Moshe Rabbeinu says to Bnei Yisrael that all that Hashem wants of them is the following. He goes on to list five areas of Avoda which include all of our duties in this world. They are fearing Hashem, walking in His Ways, loving Hashem, perfecting one’s intentions and thoughts, and keeping all of the practical Mitzvos. Each constitutes one of five major areas of our duty in this world, of which the second is walking in Hashem's Ways. Therefore, we see how important this Mitzva is, and it is necessary to define what is included in this Mitzva.
The Gemora in Sota 14a states that Rabbi Chama B'Rabbi Chanina said: "What does the verse 'You shall walk after Hashem' mean?... It means that one should emulate the character traits of Hashem, i.e. just like Hashem clothes the naked (as He did for Adam and Chava), so too you should clothe the naked. Just like Hashem visits the sick (as He did to Avraham after his Bris Mila), so too you should visit the sick. Just like Hashem comforts the mourners (as He did to Yitzchak after Avraham died), so too you should comfort the mourners. Just like Hashem buries the dead (as He did when Moshe Rabbeinu died), so too you should bury the dead.”
From this Gemora we learn that the way to fulfill the Mitzva of "walking in Hashem's ways" is by performing acts of Chesed. Therefore, a person would transgress this Mitzva if another person needs help in some way and he refuses to help him, even though he is able to do so. This is indeed brought in Sefer Ahavas Chesed (Introduction).
There is another way the Sages learn this Mitzva as well...
The Sifrei (close to the end of Parshas Eikev) comments on the words "to walk in all His ways" (Devorim 11:22), and writes that these "ways" refer to the ways of Hashem (also known as the 13 Attributes of Hashem, from Shmos 34:6-7), "Hashem, Hashem, G-d, Compassionate and Gracious....". The Sifrei goes on to state that we must emulate the traits of Hashem. Just like Hashem is Compassionate and Gracious, so too you should be. Just like Hashem is called a Tzaddik and Chossid, so too you should be a Tzaddik and Chossid.
From the Sifrei we learn that another way to fulfill this Mitzvah is by working on perfecting one's character traits, that his middos should be similar to Hashem's 13 Middos. Therefore, one would
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transgress it if one does not strive to constantly improve himself and his character. This is, indeed, brought by the Sefer HaChinuch (Mitzvah 611).
It is also possible to transgress both approaches of this Mitzvah, i.e. doing Chesed and perfecting one's Middos... In Sefer Chofetz Chaim (Positive Commandments 14) he says that by speaking Loshon Hora, one would transgress this Mitzvah in both ways, because the person is simultaneously developing bad character in himself and damaging another, which is the opposite of Chesed!
It comes out that the Mitzvah of "Walking in Hashem's ways" has two ways to be fulfilled - both in character and emotions, and also in action. By correcting one's middos, a person emulates the characters of Hashem, and by performing acts of Chesed a person emulates the actions of Hashem. We can understand why correcting one's middos to emulate the 13 Attributes of Hashem, is considered emulating Hashem's ways as those are His ways, but regarding doing Chesed why is Chesed specifically the way to emulate the actions of Hashem? Surely, there are many more actions a person can do that emulate Hashem, for example, repaying a loan or paying one's workers, just like Hashem rewards peoples’ actions? What about the whole Parsha of Tzeddaka, surely that is included in this Mitzvah, just like Hashem provides sustenance to the entire world!?
The Maharal (Nesiv Gemilus Chasodim Perek 1) asks this question, and explains as follows. He says that it is not as easy as it sounds to fulfill the Mitzvah of "Walking in His ways" by performing acts of Chesed, because one has to do them like Hashem does them! To explain further, he says that there are 3 different levels of giving to another. There is Din (law), i.e. giving because it is one's duty; Rachamim (compassion) - giving because one feels for another; and Chesed (kindness) - giving because one wants to give. Only in the third one (Chesed) is one able to emulate Hashem, but in the first two, it is impossible to properly emulate Hashem. The reason is that when a person gives either because he is dutifully fulfilling the law, like by paying a worker or repaying a loan, he is motivated to give because of the requirement to give. Similarly, when a person gives out of compassion for another, like most cases of Tzeddaka, he is also motivated by something external. He is motivated by the feeling for another person's difficult situation and that is what is causing him to give. Both of these are unlike the way Hashem gives. When Hashem gives, even though He is rewarding a good deed, or fulfilling a need that someone has, like sustaining the world with food, His motivation to give is not at all because of the law or the difficult situation people are in. Hashem gives because He wants to give! He gives because He loves giving! He gives because that is why He created the world: in order to be able to give! He gives because Hashem is totally good, and desires to do good!
Accordingly, for a person to emulate Hashem in action, he must give to others out of a pure desire to give and not because the situation calls for it. He must give because he loves Chesed, and is looking for opportunities to give! This is the Mitzvah of "Walking in His ways" - to be a giver like Hashem is a giver, to love Chesed because he wants to give! This is the third level mentioned above - Chesed, which is much greater than Din and Rachamim.
This is why the Posuk in Mishle (16:6) states that with Chesed (and Emes, which is explained to mean learning Torah) sin is atoned for. Chesed is such a great level that it connects him with Hashem and he is now far away from sin, and his sins are atoned for. This is referring to Chesed done for the desire to do good, which makes him likened to Hashem.
But how is it possible for us to do this? Isn't this level way above humans who are made of a body that constantly desires physicality, and only really gives if the need calls for it? That is not true. We
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are made of a body and a soul, and just like the body pulls one down, the soul pulls one up to be close to Hashem. We are created B'Tzelem Elokim (in the image of Hashem), and therefore have the ability to do acts like Hashem - to do good because we just want to do good!
There is another reason why it is within our ability to act this way. A Jewish person has the DNA of Avraham Avinu who reached this level. When he was in pain after his Bris Mila, Hashem made the day very hot so that no travellers would pass by and require Abraham to help them. Avraham wasn't satisfied with that. He didn't want to be exempt from welcoming guests. He went outside to look for guests. Why? Avraham had instilled within himself the Middos of Hashem and he desired to do good because he loves doing good, not for any other reason! Hashem then sent him 3 angels which provided him the opportunity of doing Chesed. Avraham's goodness was so great that his descendants many years later, continued to reap the rewards of his Chesed! The Gemora (Bava Metzia 86b) states that in the merit of Avraham's kindness with the angels, his descendants merited the Manna, Clouds of Glory and Well in the desert! We descend from Avraham Avinu and are therefore capable of following in his ways!
It now makes sense why the Mitzvah of "Walking in Hashem's ways" includes both emulating the Middos of Hashem and doing Chesed like Hashem. The essential Midda of Hashem is Tov - goodness (the 13 Attributes are called Kol Tuvo - all His Goodness), and the natural outgrowth of that is doing good for others. Similarly, Rabbi Yochanan Ben Zakkai said (Avos 2:9) that the trait of Leiv Tov (good heart) is inclusive of all the other positive traits. A good heart means someone who does good and wants good for others. This is how we fulfill the Mitzvah of "Walking in the ways of Hashem"!
Please G-d we should all be blessed to emulate Hashem, both in character and in action, and Hashem should bless the entire Kehilla with His abundant blessings of goodness!!
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LOVING ANOTHER JEW
RABBI ALEXANDER ZEV WINEBERG
HAMAOR CENTRE
In Tanya Chapter 32 the Alter Rebbe addresses an unspoken question with regards to the Mitzvah of Ahavat Yisrael.
The Torah stipulates the extent that one should love another; “like oneself”. The question here is an obvious one; How can one possibly love another like he loves himself? The love for oneself is unlimited, unconditional and reaches the depths of one’s being, whereas the love for another is limited, somewhat conditional and not completely essential to one’s being! Perhaps in rare cases one may feel a love like “oneself” towards a close friend, but here the Torah requires this love to be to each and every Jew. The question is amplified when we explore the essence of love. We find that there are two types of love: One type of love is known as an essential love – it is a love without cause or reason, it is a love intrinsic to one’s soul. The other type is a logical love – a love based on a cause or motivation.
One loves oneself intrinsically, but one loves another for a reason. It is impossible for one to love another person with ‘essential love’ because as long as the other person is ‘another’ he will not share the same essence as oneself. Based on the above it seems impossible to fulfil the mandate of loving another Jew as “oneself”!
Many commentators deal with this question. Perhaps the most startling of these opinions is that of the Ramban (רמב"ן ויקרא פרק יט פסוק יז( and others who maintain that the term of “oneself” is somewhat figurative and not to be understood literally. The Tanya’s explanation is based on the Kabbalistic teaching that all Jews are intrinsically connected because they share a common G-dly soul. Therefore, when one loves a fellow Jew, he is not loving “another”, rather, he is loving someone who is part of him. This is like how one loves a child as “oneself” because one’s child us connected and part of oneself.
The Alter Rebbe prefaces with another explanation which seems different to his main explanation. This first explanation is “Who knows whose G-dly soul is greater?” This is apparently saying that although Jews may be different and separate, non-the-less it is possible to love all Jews, even simple Jews, for on their soul level they may be great. Although this first answer is a virtuous attitude to have toward another Jew, it seems not to answer the key question, ‘how does one love another like “oneself”’?
In answer to this I would like to reference to a talk of the Lubavitcher Rebbe in Likutei Sichot Vol.18 Parshat Behaalotcha. He explains with tremendous insight and depth that in this first answer the Alter Rebbe is also addressing the essential question. The Alter Rebbe is saying in the first explanation that one should love another Jew as “oneself” even as the other Jew is an individual and not only as part of a singular whole. The reason this is possible is because each soul is like a limb in a body, each one carries its uniqueness and speciality, but this doesn’t take away from the fact that all the limbs are part of one body ans stem from the same root cells. The same is true with a Jewish soul. This uniqueness does not stand us apart from another Jew. Rather, it is a unique expression of the general soul shared by all Jews. Thus, we are one on our level of uniqueness as well. It is therefore possible to love another Jew “like oneself” even when focusing on the uniqueness and specialty of each and every Jew.
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GOOD AND BAD JEALOUSY
RABBI DAVID CHIGER
HIRSCH LYONS | HUGO’S BARMITZVAH TEACHER
Writings from Hugo’s Barmitzvah Parsha, Nasso.
פרק ה, {יא} וידבר ה' אל משה לאמר: {יב} דבר אל בני ישראל ואמרת אלהם איש איש כי תשטה אשתו ומעלה בו מעל:
The Parsha deals with a Sota, a promiscuous woman. The Gemorah (Sota 9) comments on this Parsha with the following:
The Sages taught in a Baraita in the Tosefta (4:16–19): The sota placed her eyes, fixed her gaze, on one who is unfit for her, i.e., another man, so this is her punishment: That which she desired, i.e., to be with her paramour, is not given to her, as she becomes forbidden to him forever. And that which she had, i.e., her husband, was taken away from her, as she is now forbidden to him as well. This teaches that anyone who places his eyes on that which is not his, is not given what he desires, and that which he had is taken from him.
And, so too, we found with regard to the primeval snake who seduced Eve, for he placed his eyes on that which was unfit for him, as he wanted to marry Eve. Consequently, that which he desired was not given to him, and that which was in his possession was taken from him. The Holy One, Blessed be He, said: I initially said that the snake will be king over every domesticated animal and non-domesticated animal, but now he is cursed more than all the domesticated animals and all the non-domesticated animals of the field.
The baraita continues: And so we found with regard to Cain, who desired to inherit the whole world alone and Korah, who desired the priesthood and Balaam, who desired Balak’s money and Doeg, who was jealous of David and Ahithophel, who was also jealous of and Gehazi, who took Naaman’s money and Absalom, who wanted the kingdom and Adonijah,who also wanted the kingdom; and Uzziah, who wanted to be the High Priest and Haman, who wanted to kill all the Jews. All of these were people who placed their eyes on that which is unfit for them, and consequently what they desired was not given to them, and what they had was taken from them.
The following is adapted from the Maharal (נתיב העושר פרק ב): Someone who looks at another person’s portion in life with jealousy, not only does he not get what he desires, but he also loses what he has. The Gemora lists many examples of this principle, people who had all they needed to fulfil their purpose in this world but were jealous of others and this began their downfall.
Yet every single human is born with this trait. What toddler does not feel jealousy when their sibling gets a treat from their father and he does not?
Hashem blesses us with the attribute of jealousy as a tool with which we can motivate ourselves to progress and improve. When we see colleagues giving over high levels of Torah Chidushim, we should be jealous of them and this should inspire us to learn harder to reach similar levels. Our sages teach us (Baba Batra 22a) “Jealousy among teachers increases wisdom”.
One should nurture jealousy that will drive him to do good, but one should subdue jealousy when it does not motivate positive actions.
How does one control this negative jealousy? How can you say to yourself you don’t want something someone else has when the reality is you do desire it?
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When you are able to believe that everything, EVERYTHING, absolutely everything, comes from Hashem including your wife, children, livelihood, everything in this world is a gift from Hashem and He wants you to have it. What you don’t have, Hashem does not want you to have. A person with this mind-set will not be jealous. We cannot change the will of Hashem through jealousy. A person, who lives with faith, lives in serenity without jealousy or worry, appreciating what he has and looking to grow spiritually.
Hugo, I am jealous of you. You have left this world in a mighty chariot, escorted by the pure Torah you learnt. I am envious of the vast amounts of chessed you achieved in such a short amount of time. I am Jealous of the position I am certain you hold in Gan Eden. This jealousy which “increases wisdom” drives me to emulate your ways and do more good.
ה' ישמרך מכל רע, ישמר את נפשך, ה' ישמר צאתך ובואך מעתה ועד עולם.
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RENNOVATIONS WITHOUT RESERVATIONS
RABBI CHAIM FINKELSTEIN
YESHIVA LERABBONUS PRETORIA
(The following is a brief extract of a lengthy lecture and is not meant to be authoritative nor exhaustive)
Let us introduce the topic of discussion with the Gemara in Bova Basra 23b: People who disrupt their neighbours with offensive material such as smoke and foul odours, have no claim of entitlement, for even if the offended neighbour never officially complained at the outset, he may complain any time he wishes. Leaving the guilty party liable to remove his hindrance with no counter claim of entitlement. The early codifiers, the Rishonim, extend this idea to all obnoxious hindrances like dust and chaff, that a guilty neighbour can be forced at any given time to cease his activities when others come forward to complain (cf. Tur Choshen Mishpat siman 155 corresponding to # 36 37).
The Yad Rama (#108 ad loc) rules then, that one may be prevented from doing renovations to one's home when they involve dust flying into the property next door. And even if the neighbour complains after a period of construction, this disgruntled neighbour can still lodge his complaint against the renovation, leaving the renovating party with no option but to discontinue his work, and since the dust is a noxious substance, the offender has no counter claim of entitlement. Since none of the Yad Rama's contemporaries dispute his ruling, the Halacha seems to emerge that when renovations cause concrete and dust to waft over into adjoining properties, the neighbours can indeed call for the cessation of those constructions. If that is the case, then how is it ever possible to do construction work in one's property, for all demolition and building will invariably cause irritants to fly into another's property?
Before addressing the issue, let us first understand two concepts. The first concept is "chazoka", entitlement to continue a project since no complaints were lodged beforehand. The second concept is "meakeiv", preventing a neighbour ab initio from setting up pernicious activity, but if one did not vocally prevent the offending neighbour, then one forfeits his right to complain again. Some harmful activities can be prevented with no time limits, yet some activities can only be prevented initially, and once the opportunity to complain passes, the offender is afforded the liberty to continue his activities with impunity. How we determine which activities can merely be prevented and which ones can actually be stopped mid-way, is not clear cut, and is subject to a three-way dispute among the early codifiers.
The basis of these three opinions is the way they reconcile two seemingly contradictory passages between the Babylonian Talmud and the Jerusalem Talmud, for the Babylonian Talmud (cf. supra) maintained that smoke drifting over from the neighbour's property can always be contested, irrespective of the frequency of the smoke, yet the Jerusalem Talmud (Bova Basra chapter 2) sets a limit, that an aggravated party can lodge a complaint only against constant smoke, yet smoke which doesn't constantly drift over into ones property cannot be contested. Do these two Gemaras dispute one another?
The first opinion to reconcile the two passages is the Nimukei Yosef (Bova Basra 12a) that the Babylonian Talmud was referring to heavy smoke produced by intense furnaces, the latter being unbearable by nature. This type of smoke can always be contested by a neighbour and can force
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the offender to relocate his furnace, irrespective of the frequency of the smoke. The Jerusalem Talmud, by contrast, was dealing with small oven fires whose smoke is tolerable, provided the smoke is infrequent. The second opinion to reconcile the two passages is Rav Chasdai (cited in the Nimukei Yosef ad loc) that the Babylonian Talmud was dealing with constant smoke wafting into another's property. Such a situation is unbearable irrespective of the intensity of the smoke, and can thus be contested at any point by an aggrieved neighbour. The Jerusalem Talmud was dealing with infrequent smoke, which although bothersome is not unduly intolerable, hence the aggrieved neighbour who has sanctioned the smoke thus far has effectively acquiesced entitlement to continue producing smoke. The Yad Rama follows this approach too. Now, although these opinions differ regarding a chazoka over infrequent smoke hindrance, viz. that the Nimukei Yosef would provide entitlement to produce infrequent light smoke and Rav Chasdai would provide this entitlement even to heavy yet infrequent smoke, they both concur that infrequent smoke may still be prevented initially. A third opinion presents itself now, Rabbi Yisroel Isserlein in his responsa Trumas Hadeshen (vol 2 #137) absolves the maker of any infrequent smoke entirely; not only does he establish a right to continue, chazoka, but cannot be prevented either from the outset. Accordingly, the Babylonian Talmud addresses only constant smoke as being a hazard that can always be contested by an aggrieved neighbour, no matter the thickness of the smoke, yet the Jerusalem Talmud permitted one to release infrequent smoke with impunity and is not expected to relocate his ovens, irrespective of the thickness of the smoke.
The above three opinions give us an indication as to which activities can be prevented, but once left to continue, cannot be contested, and which activities can even be contested at a later date. According to all of these opinions, hazardous substances which are emitted on a constant basis, making the neighbouring property unusable, can be called to restriction, especially when the substances are detrimental to the neighbor’s health. However, activities which do not render the neighbouring property unusable since they are infrequent, are the types of activities, which are permitted to perpetuate according to all opinions, once the occasion to contest has passed and according to Rabbi Isserlein, cannot even be prevented in the first place!
The key to dealing with all neighbourly disputes is explained by Rabbi Yaakov Loberbaum in his epic commentary, the Nesivos Hamishpat (siman 155 # 19), that the Torah has granted a person free and unfettered use of their property, and sometimes this freedom may impede on one’s neighbour's right to free and unfettered use of their own property. Now, how do we weigh up which property owner takes precedence, for by favouring the offended neighbor, the property owner no longer enjoys free and unfettered use of his own space, yet if we allow one person to hinder his neighbour then the latter has lost free use of his own space? The balance lies in the ability of one property owner to control his hazards, in which case he is expected to do so, and the inability to prevent irritations from finding their way into his neighbour’s yard. When forces are beyond a person’s control and are necessary for the normal functioning of a home, like smoke which is a product of fire, essential for heating and cooking, yet is impossible to control its direction, then it is up to the aggrieved party to take the steps necessary to protect himself (provided he can take these measures) and the rights of the producer of the substance are favoured.
With this is mind, the dispute over infrequent smoke production becomes clearer, that the Torah does not expect a property owner to live without an oven or even a furnace if his property is his work space. Yet the Torah does expect a person to take whatever steps are necessary to prevent his neighbour from being inhibited in his own space, so all opinions concur that unrelenting smoke can be stopped, as it prevents the neighbour from utilizing his own outside space. However, infrequent smoke, which allows a measure of freedom to the neighbour to still utilise his yard, can be maintained and according to Rabbi Isserlein, cannot even be prevented.
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The same logic would apply to our query of renovations which disturb the neighbours with dust and noise and all the aggravation of home improvements. If a schedule can be arranged to allow a disgruntled neighbour use of his outside area for laundry, entertainment etc., then the renovating neighbour should try to oblige when construction times are under his control to some degree. If the construction work renders the entire area unfit for use, leaving a neighbour with no access to his own outside area, then all these opinions would concur that since the aggrieved party has no way of redirecting the dust and has effectively lost the use of his property (albeit temporarily until construction work is complete) he can protest and call for the cessation of any construction which interferes with his property. When the renovations allow a neighbour for part of the day to access his outside area, which may not be the ideal times for him then according to the Nimukei Yosef, Rav Chasdai and the Yad Rama, he has one opportunity to protest and prevent such disruptions. If he chooses to remain silent then he has acquiesced to the offender and may not protest again. So even according to the Yad Rama, there is room for renovations without reservations. According to Rabbi Isserlein a disaffected neighbour cannot even protest once, for the disturbance is not a constant one and can be worked around, albeit an inconvenience to the aggrieved neighbour.
Whether the Halacha follows the stringent opinions or Rabbi Isserlen regarding acquiring an immediate right to renovate with no restrictions (provided the aggrieved party can still access his yard at some time of the day), is subject to a dispute among the Shulchan Aruch and its commentaries
(עיין טור חושן משפט סימן קנה כנגד סעיף לז, ושו״ע שם סעיף לז שפסקו כדעת היד רמה. אולם הרמ״א פסק כמהרא״י, וכן פסק הגרעק״א בקונטרס מילי דנזיקין, ודבריו נאמרו בקיצור בפ״ת שם סק״ז. אולם הש״ך מצא מקום
לדחות דברי המהרא״י וצידד כדעת היד רמה. וכן פסק אדמו״ר הזקן בהלכות נזקי ממון כדעת היד רמה).
However, all the varying opinions would agree to an amicable and workable solution between disputing neighbours, to reach the ideal of renovations without reservations for both parties.
American poet Robert Frost wrote that good fences make good neighbours. However, the truth is that good neighbours make good neighbours, and being a considerate neighbour can go a long way in creating real shalom amongst our community, something Ze’ev ben Dov would have surely wanted.
28

נשואין AND קידושין THE MITZVAH OF ORY SMADJA
YESHIVA COLLEGE BOYS’ HIGH SCHOOL
The last סוגית I had the tremendous privilege of learning with our dear Chaim Zeev ben Dov z”l were from מסכת קידושין. Many times our discussions, naturally, centred on the definition and halachic nature of קידושין and נשואין. As a result, I intend to use this essay to explore the halachic essence of the mitzvah of קידושין as debated by the primary ראשונים and אחרונים, as well as highlight and analyse several fundamental insights1.
קידושי is -קידושין regarding how to categorize ראשונים There is a central dispute amongst the :דין a mitzvah; or is it simply aאשה
The רמב"ם in מ"ע ריג) ספר המצות) writes that there is a positive mitzvah “שצונו לבעול בקידושין” “we הלכות is consistent with this view in רמב"ם are commanded to acquire by kiddushin”. Similarly, the is ברכת אירושין writes that the רמב"ם where the (ג:כג) הלכות אישות as well as in )א:א-ב( אישות .ברכת המצוה classified as a
Likewise, the תקנב( חינוך) follows the view of the רמב"ם and holds that קידושי אשה is a mitzvah. “ :)כתובות פרק א סימן י"ב( writes ראש Conversely, the
ברכת אירושין
קידושין as ברכת המצוה is not a ברכת אירושין is of the opinion that ראש It is clear, therefore, that the
is not an independent mitzvah”.
Regarding שחיטה the מ"ע קמו) רמב"ם( considers “to slaughter a live animal and chicken and afterwards eat its meat” as a one of the 613 mitzvoth. The 2ראב"ד takes issue with this and argues that it is only aלאו הבא מכלל עשה mitzvah written in the Torah as a positive commandant but .ספר המצות fulfilled in a passive fashion and not a mitzvah in and of itself, to be included in the Likewise, the ראב"ד argues with the רמב"ם’s (מ"ע קמט-קנב) classification of "בדיקת סימני דגים"as a mitzvah. The כסף משנה clarifies that the position of the ראב"ד is that it is not logical to count a non-obligatory act3 as one of the 613 mitzvoth, after all if one decides not to eat meat, there is no obligation to ritually slaughter an animal.
However, the ראב"ד does not object to the רמב"ם’s counting of tzitzit as a mitzvah (מ"ע יד), this despite the fact that tzitzit is apparently also voluntary in nature as one who decides not to wear a garment of ד כנפות is seemingly not obligated in the mitzvah of tzitzit4.
הרב אשר וייס שליט"א Several ideas incorporated into the article were originally heard from 1
ספר המצות published in some editions of the ראב"ד and ב"י of the השגות In the 2
3 For further applications of מצוה קיומית-a non-obligatory mitzvah, see חזקוני shmot 12:18 and The GRA)מעשה רב (קפה regarding .ישוב הארץ regarding the mitzvah of (אה"ע קב) אגרות משה eating matzah on chol hamoed Pesach as well as
אלה לעול על האדם לקיים “ defines that mitzvoth were given (ר"ה כח( רש"י .מצוות קיומיות the seemingly contradictory nature of צ"ע ?yolk on man to fulfil the will of G-D”, how then can a mitzvah be both ‘a yolk’ as well as voluntary“ רצון ה"
סוכה כו to הרב יוסף שלום אלישיב זצ"ל For an alternative view see written shiurim of 4
.
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There are those who ask about the text of this
blessing (
(, why do we not say: Who has sanctified us with His commandments and
commanded us to betroth a woman? It seems to me that this blessing is not a blessing over the
performance of a mitzvah, because the mitzvah is fulfilled with procreation”


Yet this seems to be due to the vast difference in nature between the mitzvah of tzitzit and the mitzvah of שחיטה- the obligation to wear tzitzit begins as soon as one dons a four-cornered מצוה חיובית 2.garment1 and as a result, once such a garment is put on it becomes an absolute However, with regard to שחיטה, the act of slaughtering is always preformed before any act of eating, and as a result, when the mitzvah of ritual slaughter is preformed, there doesn’t ever exist any obligation to do so as one is free to decide not to eat and as a result, will not have any obligation to slaughter.
Nonetheless, קידושי אשה is seemingly similar to שחיטה in that it is not obligatory, only one who chooses to take a wife is required to acquire her first3. If one doesn’t choose to marry, קידושין is not applicable4.
However, unlike שחיטה, the ראב"ד, perplexingly, doesn’t take issue with the רמב"ם’s counting of )מ"ע ריג) as a mitzvah קידושין
:ראב"ד seems to agree with the view of the רמב"ן5 Furthermore, on the face of it, the
The רמב"ם questions the רמב"ן’s conclusion that the rabbinic mitzvoth of נר חנוכה and מגילה are included in the record of 613 mitzvoth, after all if rabbinic mitzvoth are included, the רמב"ן should have also counted the mitzvoth of נטילת ידים and עירוב, which he omitted.
In defence the רמב"ן defines that the distinguishing characteristic of נטילת ידים and עירוב is that they are not stand-alone mitzvoth but rather only exist to permit what would otherwise be prohibited (carrying) and to make pure what is otherwise impure and even דאורייתא mitzvoth of that nature (such as שחיטה) are not included in the count of 613 mitzvoth.
Therefore it is clear that the רמב"ן, like the ראב"ד, agrees that מצוות קיומיות are not included in the ?קידושין s including’רמב"ם too doesn’t object to the רמב"ן tally of 613 mitzvoth. Nevertheless, the
Perhaps the ראב"ד’s silence on a comment of the רמב"ם, doesn’t necessarily imply agreement and as a result, our above question is based on an assumption that is not necessarily valid. This is the view of the ברכי נפשי6 (ח"ב ט:א) who mentions (and in some cases demonstrates) 200 cases where the ראב"ד is silent on a statement of the רמב"ם, even though he differs with those very same issues in other places.
However, the view of the vast majority is that silence on the part of the ראב"ד does, indeed, indicate agreement7.
However, it seems clear that קידושין is vastly different to שחיטה .שחיטה is purely a מתיר in that it doesn’t exist as a halachic entity in and of itself but rather, its entire purpose is to permit meat and chicken that would otherwise be forbidden due to the sins of אבר מן החי and נבילה. The same is true with בדיקת סימני דגים, whose sole function is to distinguish between the kosher and non-kosher fish. As a result, the ראב"ד does not include such mitzvoth as part of the 613.
On the other hand, קידושין is different as it is not purely a מתיר (mechanism necessary in order to sanction certain activities) created to permit the otherwise prohibited, rather, it serves a positive
תוס יבמות צ See 1
ח"ב סימן מד )former chief Rabbi of Israel - הרב אברהם שפירא זצ"ל of( מנחת אברהם See 2
הלכות אישות beginning of רמב"ם See 3
4 Mitzvat קידושין is not dependent on פו"ר as even one who has a son and daughter is still required to perform קידושין when acquiring a wife
שורש א 5
הרב יעקב חיים סופר שליט"א 6
שו"ת יבי"א (ח"ז אה"ע ס"ח אות ד) in הרב עובדיה יוסף זצ"ל as well as שדי חמד (ח"ו סימן אות ב) See the list brought in 7
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ראב"ד purpose as an essential component of enacting marriage1 and is consequently counted by the as one of the 613 mitzvoth.2
Likewise, this is evident when comparing the language of the רמב"ם in the context of קידושין to that of שחיטה: by קידושין the רמב"ם writes that the mitzvah is “לבעול בקידושין” “acquire by kiddushin”.” implying that the קידושין in and of itself is the mitzvah. However, in regards to ”writes that the mitzvah is “to ritually slaughter and afterwards to eat the meat רמב"ם the שחיטה suggesting that שחיטה is only a mitzvah when followed by consumption of the meat3.
1 This is further demonstrated by those Rishonim who are of the opinion that a פנוי who cohabits with a פנויה has not committed any Torah prohibition, clearly therefore, קידושין cannot be just a מתיר as such a scenario would then certainly be prohibited on all levels.
2 Put differently, is the mitzvah required (in the positive sense) or is it just that the opposite reality is forbidden i.e. Non- ritually slaughtered meat. For more clarity on the logical distinction of חיוב and שלילה, see מפענח צפונות ו of הרב מנחם מנדל כשר זצ"ל as well המידות לחקר ההלכה ב of הרב עמיאל זצ"ל former Chief Rabbi of Tel Aviv
תשס"א publication, Kedumim Yeshiva ’חזון קדומים‘ in הרב זלמן נחמיה גולדברג שליט"א For an alternative answer see article by 3 page 305
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ARGUMENTS FOR THE SAKE OF HEAVEN
RABBI DAVID NOSSEL
WAVERLEY SHUL
"And Moshe sent to call for Datan and Aviram..." (Bamidbar 16:12).
Rashi sees in this verse a very important lesson in life. He comments:
"From here [we learn] that we don't hold onto arguments, for Moshe went after them to make peace with them with words of peace."
At first glance the lesson Rashi is pointing out to us is a simple one - the same as Hillel taught us in the Pirkei Avot: 'Love peace and pursue peace!' (Avot 1:12). But on deeper reflection, if that is the lesson, then something is not quite right here.
If Moshe went after Datan and Aviram in his love for and pursuit of peace, why does the verse say that he SENT for them? Does sending for them sound right? Indeed, according to the translation of the Artscroll Chumash Moshe SUMMONED them! So where does Rashi see in the verse that Moshe went after them in the pursuit of peace? The plain sense of the text is that Moshe was calling them not for a peace from his heart, but for a piece of his mind....
Furthermore, the deeper message from our Rashi is not, that in the pursuit of peace one needs to run after others to stop arguments. It cannot be - for Moshe did not do that. Rather, the message is about something else.
Arguments, you see, are not necessarily bad, and so they do not necessarily need to be stopped! In fact, another Mishna in Pirkei Avot (Avot 5:20) teaches that all arguments that are for the sake of Heaven will have continuity. And which are the arguments for the sake of Heaven: those between Hillel and Shammai. Hillel and Shammai argued a lot. So did the 'schools of thought' that they created. So did all the Rabbis of all the generations, right up to and including today. In fact, all Jews love to argue. It's the Jewish thing to do!
But there are two caveats: the first is that the argument must be for the sake of Heaven. This means that it must not be for the purposes of victory or one-upmanship. It must be for the benefit of a better destination, a better 'over there' ('shum' - the root of the Hebrew word for Heaven 'Shumayim').
With that we can understand why Hillel and Shammai and their schools were forever arguing: because the very arguments were valuable in bringing about a better destination. Shammai always gave the most precise approach and Hillel always provided the flexibility. They argued vehemently as to which approach will bring about the required destination.
The second caveat is that arguments must not descend into personal attacks. Argue the Rabbis did, but judge they did not. They may have held very different views, but they always respected and cared for each other. They married into each other. In truth, this is what marriage is largely about: two completely different people who see the world in completely different ways, who think that the other one is completely wonky, and yet are able to refrain from judging. Instead, each one maintains respect and care for the other.
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And now we can understand our Rashi a bit better. Rashi learnt from the fact that Moshe SENT for Datan and Aviram, not that he was trying to stop the argument, but that he did not want to 'hold onto arguments' - meaning that he did not want to let the argument turn into a reason for lack of respect and care.
Moshe knew that Datan and Aviram were not happy with him. He realized that if he went there personally, they would most likely shut the door in his face, and so he sent for them. No, he did not summon them. He used intermediaries to try and mediate. He sent for them to show them that he was willing to hear their side of the argument. He did so out of love and care. Unfortunately, they were not up to returning the sentiment. They refused to 'go up'.
What a life lesson. Nowadays the closest we get to this teaching is the well-known expression of 'playing the ball and not the man', but Moshe and Rashi were much greater than that. They were able to play the ball and still make the other person feel as if they were on the same side....
And they have passed the ball into our hands for us to play the best set peace that we can.
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“CARRYING THE BURDEN WITH HIS FRIEND”
RABBI DARRYL FROOM
HIRSCH LYONS
The Mishnah in Pirkei Avos1 lists this as one of the 48 ways to acquire the wisdom of Torah, which literally means to “carry the burden with his friend”. We have to try to understand the following.
● What exactly does this mean?
● Why would this be a way to acquire Torah?
● How does one fulfil this?
Midrash Shmuel (R”Shmuel De Uzida) writes that נושא בעול עם חבירו means to feel the suffering of one’s friend and support him in whatever way possible. He explains further that the next one of the 48 ways is מכריעו לכף זכות and it is juxtaposed to teach you that it is not enough to support him slightly and have him carry most of the burden, or even equal share. Rather, one should relieve him of most of the burden so that he is tilting towards becoming whole again.
The Maharal of Prague2 provides a similar definition of נושא בעול עם חבירו and explains that the reason why this is a means of acquiring the wisdom of Torah is that one who has this trait, demonstrates that he is part of the klal and the Torah is meant for the klal. We see that to acquire Torah you have to be part of the klal, it was not given to an individual.
?נושא בעול עם חבירו Where do we see in the Torah an example of
וירא When the Torah describes Moshe Rabbanu as an adult, the first thing that is described is
?he saw their burdens. What does this mean בסבלותם
Rashi3 writes that he used his eyes and heart to feel the pain upon them (the Jewish People).
The Midrash4 states that he actively saw to it that they wouldn’t suffer as much. He would physically help them and pretend he was doing this to help Paroh.
נושא בעול עם חבירו We see from both Rashi and the Midrash 2 different aspects of
● Rashi is focused on the thoughts and emotions related to feeling the pain of others and
the Midrash is focused on the actions expressed as a result.
Rabbi Simcha Zissel the alter of kelm, has a wonderful essay on this topic and
he notes that all of the actions leading up to the episode with the s’neh (burning bush) reflects different expressions of נושא בעול. We also see what made Moshe become the leader.
Firstly we see how:
● Moshe saw the suffering of the Bnei Yisrael as they were oppressed by the Egyptians ● He felt the suffering of an individual who was been attacked by a fellow Jew
אבות פרק ו 1
:דרך החיים ו 2
רש"י שמות ב:יא 3 שמות רבה א:כז 4
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● He stood up for the suffering of the daughters of Yirso, despite the fact that he wasn’t in any position of authority and was in fact just a stranger in a strange land
● He then took care of the sheep who were thirsty
Moshe merited talking directly to Hashem at the s”neh because of his compassion for the Jewish People and the Midrash comments that Hashem spoke to Moshe specifically from a thorn bush to show that Hashem too was עמו אנכי בצרה, with him in his pain and He also כביכול was suffering with the Jewish people.1
From here we see that נושא בעול עם חבירו is a form of emulating Hashem and we find the mitzvah of emulating Hashem in two different forms.
The Gemora in Sotah2 presents the mitzvah to emulate Hashem as an action- oriented mitzvah. Just as He clothes people, and visits the sick and comforts mourners, so too we should engage in these activities.
The Gemora in Shabbos3 presents it as a trait-oriented mitzvah. Just as He is compassionate and merciful, we too should be compassionate and merciful.
R Asher Weiss4 explains that both of these ideas are complementary. There are people who are very kind and compassionate, but are very busy or very lazy and never get around to helping others. There are also people who are engaged in many acts of kindness, but are not compassionate by nature. Therefore, the Gemora teaches us to emulate G-d, both in our actions and in our traits.
There is another wonderful example of נושא בעול עם חבירו with Moshe Rabbanu when there was a war with Amalek5 When the Jewish people were fighting Amalek, Moshe Rabbeinu had to raise his arms to inspire the Jewish people. When they started to get heavy, rocks were placed under his arms.
The Gemora in Taamis6 asks why didn’t they place pillows under his arms? The Gemora answers because Moshe Rabbeinu wanted to feel the suffering of the Jewish people at that time and therefore, he insisted specifically on rocks.
From here we see that Moshe did not just feel sorry but internalized it and could not bring himself to be sitting in “luxury” while other people were suffering.
?נושא בעול עם חבירו How does one Express
1. Through Thought
2. Through Tefillah
3. Through action
שמות רבה ב:ה 1
סוטה יד 2
שבת קלג 3
מנחת אשר על התורה, פרשת בהר 4 שמות יז:ח-יג 5
תענית יא 6
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Through thought
The Gemora in Sotah1 states that Bilam, Iyov and Yisro were consulted about Paroh's plan, Yisro ran away and he was not punished, but Iyov kept silent and was punished with tremendous suffering.
R”Chaim Shmulevitz explains that Iyov was punished specifically with suffering because the instinct of someone who is suffering is to scream even though he knows that screaming is not going to help the suffering. Iyov knew that screaming at Paroh wasn't going to help, but if he felt the suffering of the Jewish people, he should have done so anyway, or made some other statement of protest just like Yisro
Through Tefillah
The Gemora Sotah2 discusses whether prayer should be recited aloud or quietly and concludes that one’s transgressions are private, but one’s suffering should be made public because when the public hears about someone’s suffering, they will pray for the individual.
The Gemora in Brochos3 states that one who has the opportunity to pray for a friend and doesn’t do so, is considered a sinner. The Gemora adds that a talmid chacham should become sick when he hears about the suffering of someone else.
R Alexander Ziskind of Horodna4 writes that the mitzvah of ואהבת לרעך כמוך is a prerequisite to prayer. One must be happy when a friend is the beneficiary of something good, and suffer when a friend goes through hard times. ואהבת לרעך כמוך is expressed through thought and through action.
R Avrahm I Kook5 writes that the reason why tefillah b’tzibbur is more effective in that when we daven with others, we don’t only think about how to improve ourselves but how we can help others. This is the highest form of prayer.6
Through action
.את העני עמך When the Torah describes the mitzvah of lending someone money it states
Rashi comments that the Torah uses this phraseology to teach us that we should put ourselves in the shoes of the poor person.
Rabbeinu Yona writes that this idea doesn’t only apply to tzedakah, it applies to all types of chesed. We should actively pursue the good wellbeing of others.
Rambam writes the mitzvah of ואהבת לרעך כמוך includes anything that we would want others to do to us were we in the same situation. Effectively, we need to place ourselves in the shoes of others to determine how we can improve their lives.
We see from all the above sources how important it is to נושא בעול עם חבירו that if we want to acquire the crown of Torah, we have to not just feel the pain of others, but to see what we can do ease the pain of others, by taking action whether its physically easing the burden or emotionally easing the burden, We also see that a very important aspect of davening is to daven for others, we have the mitzvah of emulating Hashem, who is נושא בעול and we learnt that it is an action-oriented
סוטה יא 1
ברכות יב. 2
יסוד ושורש העבודה א:ז 3 עין איה, ברכות ח 4
רש"י, שמות כב:כד 5
שערי תשובה ג:יג 6
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mitzvah and a trait-oriented mitzvah. One way that one could help effectively is by placing ourselves in the shoes of others to determine how we could improve their lives.
Most of the notes written here have been taken from the writings of Rabbi Simcha Zissel of kelm as well as a shiur written by Rabbi Joshua Flog.
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A DEEPER MEANING BEHIND TZEDAKA
RABBI DANIEL KAPLAN
BNEI AKIVA SOUTH AFRICA
Tzedaka is a very common and well known Miztvah that people are accustomed to doing. We are commanded in many places in the Torah to look after the needs of the poor.1 Moreover, it brings shalom to the world2 and it appears, to be more accepted by Hashem then the beloved Korbanot.3 So let us try and delve deeper into a greater understanding behind this mitzvah.
The simple but beautiful message about giving tzedaka is that we not only care for ourselves, rather, we have the opportunity of building relationships with other people and caring for our fellow human beings. There would be no point to the world if we came here just to live in our own dalet amot (personal space) and worry solely about ourselves.
I believe we see this clearly in the pesukim that talk about giving tzedaka:
“When there is a destitute person among you, any of your brothers, in one of your settlements in your land that the Lord, your God, is giving to you, you shall not harden your heart and you shall not shut your hand against your destitute brother. Rather, you shall generously open your hand to him, and extend to him any credit necessary for providing that which he lacks.... Beware lest there be a lawless thought in your heart saying, “The seventh year, the year of remission, is approaching,” and you treat your destitute brother with miserliness and refuse to give to him.... You shall surely give to him, and let your heart not feel bad when you give to him, because for this the Lord, your God, will bless you in all of your deeds and in all of your endeavors.”4
The pesukim clearly describe two body parts which are essential to performing this mitzvah: the hand and the heart. It is easy to understand why we would require our hands, as it is the limb that carries out the actual ma'ase (action) of doing the mitzvah. But why is the heart mentioned so many times, what does the heart have to do with tzedaka?
I believe the heart is critical in the kiyum (fulfilling) of the mitzvah. One could give tzedaka begrudgingly without any emotion and may well do the action of giving, but without care and love, one has not fulfilled the essence of the mitzvah. The giving needs to happen out of love, not only because we are commanded to give, but rather because we care deeply about other people.
It is also interesting to note that the word tzedaka comes from the word tzedek.5 (righteousness and justice). Part of creating a community and country is to build a social system of right and just laws, so that it will govern a healthy and normal society. Therefore, when we give tzedaka we are not only giving charity, but we are also bringing economic justice to the world. In essence, tzedaka is a backbone of the functioning of a good society.
1 Vayikra, 19:9-10, Vayikra 25:35, Devarim 15:7-11, Devarim 24:19-20. 2 Pirkei Avot5:13
3 Mishlei 21:3
4 Devarim 15:7-10
5 Rambam More nevuchim part 3 chapter 53.
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There is a classic question posed. Which is greater, to give 50 cents every day or a once off donation of 1 million rand? The Rambam1 quotes this kind of example and elaborates that it is much better to give smaller amounts on a regular basis than a once off larger donation, because it engraves inside us the middah (trait) of giving and that we will ultimately become more generous people. This is echoed by the sefer HaChinuch2 and Rabbainu Yonah3.
Tzedaka is so powerful that Chazal have equated it to all the rest of the mitzvot.4 How can this be?
I believe the answer to this question is that tzedaka is a foundation to our Emunah in Hashem. Parting with our money is not easy, no matter whether we are rich or poor. We like to believe that it is our money and we want to have control of what we do with it. Therefore, tzedaka is really hard to give both voluntarily, or as a commandment. However, if we view our money in this world as a “deposit” from Hashem, and that we are just the “accountants” and messengers, then we will realize that the money doesn’t belong to us, we are just carrying out the will of Hashem.5 This is a great level of Emunah and if we have such a great bond and base of belief in Hashem, then the other mitzvot become easy to do.6
In conclusion, tzedaka is an all rounded mitzvah which encompasses many facets of our lives. It strengthens our relationship with Hashem and our fellow human beings. It helps build a functioning society and it builds our own personal world by making us more refined and giving people.
May we all be zocheh (merit) to seeing the final redemption soon as the Gemara writes in Bava Batra “Great is charity, for it brings near Israel’s deliverance.” 7 and may we continue giving and partnering with Hashem in perfecting the world.
Bvirkat Torah Ve’avoda
1 Peirush Harambam Avot, 3:15
2 Sefer Hachinuch66
3 Rabbi Yonah of Gerona, Sheirei Tshuva 3:35-36
4 Gemara Bava Batra 9a.
5 Tur Yoreh Deah 247 and Rabbanu Bechaya’s chovot Halelavot 4:5 6 See the Slonime Rebbe- Nitivot Shalom, Devarim- parshat shoftim. 7 Bava Batra 10a
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CHESED IS MORE THAN KINDNESS
RABBI SHMULI KAGAN
MIZRACHI SOUTH AFRICA
Parents are interesting people. I always marvel at individuals who are imbued with such love and care that they create opportunities to give. From the moment two people decide they would like to be blessed with a child, they proclaim a readiness and desire to create a being to whom they will have to be committed, to such a point that the infant's life depends on it. They want to bring into their lives a recipient for the abundance and generosity they feel in their hearts. They long to give.
This behavior is the true manifestation of the midah of chesed. It is the want to initiate kindness and not to have to wait for the opportunity to be charitable. Avraham Avinu is the embodiment of this character trait as we witness in Parshat Vayera1 where he is upset by the absence of wayfarers as he heals from his brit milah which took place three days earlier. He is a sick person exempt from the mitzvah of hachnasat orchim but not being able to give, makes him feel even worse! It is no wonder his name of Avraham, which begins with אב, suggests parental care. It is not surprising that such a person becomes the “Father of many nations.” 2
This character trait is different from rachamim, mercy or compassion, as one gives charity often because of the need of the recipient. We feel compassion to someone who is lacking and we are moved to fill that void. Chesed, on the other hand, causes the giver a sense of “need” – a desire to share. A true ba’al chesed is someone who intrinsically wants to give regardless of there being a receptacle. This, so to speak, is why Hashem created the world – He wanted to create something which would accept His kindness. This is what drives parents to give birth to children – they “need” someone to bestow their intrinsic kindness.
Nevertheless, Avraham’s midah of chesed is expressed in other ways besides the generosity he shows. The leadership and vision which characterize Avraham is also a symptom of chesed. He was a person that desired and initiated a complete paradigm shift of the ideology found in the world at that time. He was ready to stand up against leaders and begin a revolution. He accepted upon himself the yoke of mission and shared his vision with the masses. As Hillel Hazakein teaches us - “in a place where there is no leader, strive to be one.”3
I would like to explore these expressions of chesed in more detail, revealing that a person’s character traits, deeply influence a person’s behavior in a much broader manifestation than one realizes. We will investigate events of the Avraham’s life as our example as he is famously and deservedly known as the embodiment of chesed.
Avraham the iconoclast
An iconoclast is a one who destroys images of religious worship – one who breaks idols. One of the more well-known Midrashim introducing us to Avraham, describes him taking care of his father Tersach’s idol store. While Terach was out, Avraham smashed the idols telling his father on
Rashi explains Hashem made it particularly hot that day so there would be no wayfarers, to allow - Avraham to בראשית פרק יח: 1 heal from his recent brit milah. Hashem sent angels in the form of travellers to allow Avraham to have someone to give to.
2 -בראשית פרק יז (ד) ֲא ִני ִה נה ְב ִרי ִתי ִא ת ְו ה ִיי ת ְל ַאב ֲהמ ן ִים 3 אבות ב:ה
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his return that the biggest idol was the culprit. Terach argued that idols are inanimate objects with no power to which Avraham agreed, asking his father how then one could pray to them. Avraham was then taken to Nimrod to be placed in the fiery furnace for his rebellion.1
Less literally, iconoclast refers to someone who attacks cherished beliefs. We would call him a revolutionary. Avraham was the ultimate iconoclast. He risked his life questioning the status queue, not because he chased honour or status, but because he believed that ideology of paganism was false, immoral and damaging.
Many of us have opinions that may not be so popular, but how many of us act to change them. Complacency is one of the plagues of our time. Activism is losing its allure and many “humanitarians” are driven by money and ego. Avraham was driven by chesed, not only because he wanted to make the world into a better place, but because he had initiative, courage and passion. He was proactive, renewing monotheism that had been lost by the masses.
A startling example of Avraham’s uniqueness and solitude is his “nationality.”2 Avraham is known as ה ִע ְב ִרי because he comes from the land of Israel, situated מעבר הנהר, on the other side of the Euphrates River. The Midrash though takes this description to refer to his ideological position – he was on one side and the world was on the opposite.3
Avraham the teacher
There were always adherents of Monotheism. Adam knew there was one G-d who created and maintains the world. Ten generations later, Hashem appointed Noach to save the world. The Torah describes Noach as a צדיק, who walked with G-d.4 The verse though describes his righteous in relative terms to his generation. Rashi explains this contextualization is viewed by some as complimentary, praising Noach for his character despite the evil influence of those around him. Alternatively, others view this limitation in a negative sense, that when comparing Noach to Avraham who had been born ten generations later, he would not be considered as much. The question stands out – what would Avraham had done differently to Noach had he constructed the ark?
The Ark took 120 years to build.5 Rashi explains the lengthy duration was in order for people to ask about it and hopefully bring the world to repent. Unfortunately, this did not occur, and the righteous Noach embarked on the journey with his family alone. Somehow Noach was unable to spread his tremendous belief and outstanding value system beyond himself. In contrast to this, we see Avraham not only worked out the existence of Hashem himself, growing up in the home of an idol merchant, but spread monotheism to the masses. When Avraham was commanded to leave Charan, Rashi describes his entourage including those who he and Sarah had influenced to embrace Hashem and believe in one G-d.6 The Rambam describes in more detail how Avraham would travel, gathering crowds of followers, writing books, and spreading awareness and understanding of Hashem until he had tens of thousands of students7. Avraham, again fuelled by
1 בראשית רבה (וילנא) פרשת נח פרשה ל בראשית רבה (וילנא) פרשת נח פרשה לח 2 בראשית פרק יד:יג 3 בראשית רבה (וילנא) פרשת לך לך פרשה מב: רבי יהודה אומר כל העולם כולו מעבר אחד והוא מעבר אחד 4 בראשית פרק ו (ט) א לה ת ְל ֹדת ֹנ ַח ֹנ ַח ִאי ַצ ִדיק ת ִמים ה יה ְב ֹד ֹר תיו את ה ֱא ִהים ִה ְת ַה ל ֹנ ַח: 5 רש"י בראשית פרק ו פסוק יד 6 רש"י בראשית פרק יב (ה) אשר עשו בחרן - שהכניסן תחת כנפי השכינה... 7 רמב"ם הלכות עבודת כוכבים פרק א: ....והתחיל לעמוד ולקרוא בקול גדול לכל העולם ולהודיעם שיש שם אלוה אחד לכל העולם ולו ראוי לעבוד, והיה מהלך וקורא ומקבץ העם מעיר לעיר ומממלכה לממלכה עד שהגיע לארץ כנען ...עד שיחזירהו לדרך האמת עד שנתקבצו אליו אלפים ורבבות והם אנשי בית אברהם ושתל בלבם העיקר הגדול הזה וחבר בו ספרים והודיעו ליצחק בנו...
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his midah of chesed, began a revolution and shared it with whomever he could. His son Yitchak would continue and solidify his movement, and he would build a family, eventually becoming a nation whose task is to be a moral light to world.
Avraham the adventurer
The first time the Torah mentions a communication from Hashem to Avraham is with the command to travel.1 But this journey was one without a clear destination. Avraham had to leave his foundation – his land, his birth place and his family, that which made him who he was. It was clear he was leaving what he knew, but was going towards the unknown. Avraham is tasked just “to go.” A Chinese proverb states: “A ten thousand mile journey begins with a single step.” Avraham’s greatness is his willingness to start, to explore, to trust, and to envision. This act of initiation fueled by hope and purpose is a manifestation of his chesed –the readiness to move regardless of destination. Along the way to Israel, Avraham did not keep to himself. His shared his journey with others, allowing them others to discover the truth. Wherever he traversed, he raised the flag of morality, charting new horizons of values through his adventure.
Interestingly, Avraham’s profession was also one which never allowed him to sit still. He was a shepherd, which suited his character. He was a person who was always searching for new sources of nourishment, especially when it came to feeding others. His home was the safe haven and moral compass for fellow wayfarers, using every opportunity to connect to new people2.
Avraham and Pesach
The Zohar3 and the Tur4 both point out that each of the three festivals correspond to one of our forefathers. It should not be startling that Avraham links in with Pesach, which is the festival marking beginnings. Pesach is found in Nissan, the first month of Jewish year, and is the first of the three pilgrimage festivals. The chag has to fall in Israel’s spring, where trees begin to blossom and the first crops are ready to be harvested. Pesach marks the birth of the Jewish nation, the sea splitting as a mother’s waters break allowing the newborn to emerge.
Our exit from Egypt was a passive experience, paralleling Nissan's zodiac of the lamb. As a shepherd leads his flock, Hashem led us to new pasture. Hashem revealed Himself to a people who had yet to earn that revelation and through His chesed inspired us to begin the journey towards achieving the level of Matan Torah at Mount Sinai.
Hugo – an example of chesed
It is well known, especially now, how Hugo was an example of chesed. He was not only a kind person, which I saw regularly during our lessons as he cared for others, especially those needing encouragement and help. Hugo was an activist! I did not know about his various initiatives to help the less fortunate and his drive to fundraise for institutions he was not even a part of at the time.
1בראשית פרק יב (א) ַוי ֹא מר ְי ֹק וק אל ַא ְב רם ל ְל מ ַא ְר ְצ ִמ ַל ְד ְת ִמ בית א ִבי אל ה א רץ ֲא ר ַא ְר א 2 בראשית פרק יג (ז) לדוגמה 3חלק ג רנז\ב 4 טור אורח חיים הלכות ראש חודש סימן תיז:...לפי שהמועדים נתקנו כנגד אבות פסח כנגד אברהם .. שבועות כנגד יצחק ... סוכות כנגד יעקב..
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He initiated projects and pushed others to contribute. Most people, especially his age, are more interested in themselves, but Hugo wanted to make a difference to others.
He would not accept the status queue regarding his own expectations either. He wanted to achieve in Torah regardless of his background and was willing to work hard, stubbornly refusing to accept what others may have limited him to.
The word אב is made up of the first two letters in the Hebrew alphabet. Rashi1 explains the word בן and אב the stone which forms the foundation on which to build, is a combination of ,אבן suggesting both beginning and continuity. Indeed, a man only becomes a father when he creates a child. The chesed Avraham possessed, drove his creative energy to seek truth and change, and inspired the spreading of his vision and his generosity to the world. A parent longs to create that continuity through his child; chesed driving him to create something from nothing.
Hashem Created the world in order to give and consequently we, who are created in His image and especially as children of Avraham, share that quality. Our families, our communities and our surroundings need us to give generously of our resources, our vision and our leadership and in so doing, contribute to the messages taught by the quintessential parent and revolutionary, our father Avraham.
Hugo was an אבן and we must build on what he founded and continued from his parents and in doing so, will continue what he started.
1 רש"י בראשית פרק מט:כד אבן ישראל - לשון נוטריקון אב ובן, אבהן ובנין, יעקב ובניו.
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AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP – GIVING A SMILE WITH TZEDAKAH
RABBI LERON BERNSTEIN
YESHIVA COLLEGE SCHOOLS
I have always been astounded and inspired by the way in which Halacha formulates the Mitzvah of Tzedakkah.
In the Chumash, the primary source for the Mitzvah of Tzedakkah is found in Devarim 15:7-8
ִ כ י ־ ִי ְה י ֩ה ְב א ְב ֜י ן מ ַא ַ ח ד ַא ח י ְב ַא ַ ח ד ְ ע ר י ְב ַא ְר ְצ ֲא ר ־ ְי ה ו ה ֱא ה י ֹנ ת ן ל ל ֹא ְת ַא ץ א ת ־ ְל ב ְב ְו ל ֹא ִת ְק ֹפ ץ א ת ־ י ְד מ א ִ ח י ה א ְב י ן ׃ ִ כ י ־ פ ֹת ַח ִת ְפ ַ ת ח א ת ־ י ְד ל ְו ַה ֲע ב ט ַת ֲע ִב י ט נ ד י ַמ ְח ֹס ר ֲא ר י ְח ַ ס ר ל ׃
“If, however, there is a needy person among you, one of your kinsmen in any of your settlements in the land that the L-rd your G-d is giving you, do not harden your heart and shut your hand against your needy kinsman. Rather, you must open your hand and lend him sufficient for whatever he needs.”
Based on this, we conventionally understand that Tzedakkah is a pragmatic commandment, to serve the purpose of distributing wealth amongst those in need, and in so doing, support society as a whole. In the most simple terms, the world is made up of ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’. In pursuit of building a functioning society, this Mitzvah comes to ensure that those that are blessed with wealth, share some of that wealth with those less fortunate than themselves. This is evident in the verse above where the closing clause is to, “lend him sufficient for whatever he needs”- provision of resources to enable those less fortunate to subsist.
The Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 247:1 codifies the Mitzvah of Tzedakkah as such,
ִמ ְצ ַות ֲע שה ִל תן ְצ ד קה ְכ ִפי ַה ש ַגת יד, ְו ַכ ה ְפ ע ִמים ִנ ְצ ַט ינ ב ְב ִמ ְצ ַות ֲע שה. ְו י לֹא ַת ֲע שה ַב ַ ֲע ִלים עי ניו ִמ נ , נֱאַמר:לֹא ְתַא ץ את ְל בְב ְולֹא ִתְקֹפץ את יְד (ְד בִריםטו,ז).ְו כל ַהַ ֲעִלים עי ניו ִמ נ ִנְק רא ְבִלַיַעל, ְכִאל ע בד ֲעב ַדתכ כִבים. ְמֹאד י ִל ז הר ב , ִכי אְפ ר יבֹא ִלי די ְ ִפיכ ת דִמים, ימ ת ה עִני ַהְמַב ק ִאםלֹאִי תןל ִמ יד,
ְכע ְב דא ְד ַנח ם ִאי ַ ם ז .
“It is a positive commandment to give tzedakah according to the achieving hand, and a few times we were commanded about it in the form of positive commandment. And there is a negative commandment in one who turns his eyes away, as it is said: “You shall not harden your heart nor shut your hand” (Devarim 15:7). And all who avert their eyes are called wicked, and it’s as if their worship is idol worship. And much so one is to be cautious about it, because it is possible that it will lead to bloodshed, that poor person who asks will die if there is none giving to his hand, like the story of Naham Ish Gamzu.”
Upon further investigation though, I believe that the actual handing of money to the poor person is but a peripheral detail in the wondrous Mitzvah of Tzedakkah. This becomes evident as the Mitzvah is refined through the Halachik process.
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IT’S NOT WHAT YOU GIVE, IT’S HOW YOU GIVE
There is a very specific condition in giving Tzedakkah, that has always intrigued me, and it challenges our conventional understanding of the Mitzvah’s purpose. This component of the Mitzvah is evidently critical to the Mitzvah - as without it, one loses all merit and reward, no matter how sizeable the contribution of money given.
The Shulchan Aruch writes further on, in Yoreh De’ah, 249:3,
צ ִרי ִל תן ַה ְצ ד קה ְב ס בר פ ִנים יפ ת, ְב ִש ְמ חה ְבט ב ל בב, ִמ ְתא נן ִעם ה ע ִני ְב ַצ ֲער ְמ ַד בר ל ִד ְב רי ַת ְנח ִמין. ְו ִאם ְנ ת נ ְב פ ִנים ז ֲעפ ת ְו רע ת, ִה ְפ ִסיד ְזכ ת .
Charity should be given with a pleasant countenance, with happiness and good-heartedness, sympathizing with the poor person over his plight and speaking comforting words to him. If someone gives with an angry and scowling face he has lost his merit.
The Be’er Heitev comments on this,
זכותו. אפי' נתן לו הרבה ועובר על לא ירע לבבך וגו'. סמ''ג:
“His merit: Even if he gives a lot and he transgresses, “Don’t be evil in your heart.””
The Be’er Heitev drives this point home by emphasizing that the quantum of the contribution has no bearing on the fundamental need to do kindness to this person, when giving the money. It doesn’t matter how much you give, if it’s not accompanied by a sincere smile, then you have effectively undermined the essential nature of the Mitzvah.
This vital element of invoking the appropriate middot when giving Tzedakkah, is conveyed in the Gemara in Bava Batra 9b,
ואמר רבי יצחק כל הנותן פרוטה לעני מתברך בשש ברכות והמפייסו בדברים מתברך בי"א ברכות הנותן פרוטה לעני מתברך בשש ברכות...
“And Rabbi Yitzḥak says: Anyone who gives a peruta to a poor person receives six blessings, and whoever consoles him with words of comfort and encouragement receives eleven blessings...”
One who engages the poor person on his level and treats him with dignity and respect, receives far greater brachot than the person who simply gives the money. Perhaps, one can say that when he performs the Mitzvah in this manner, he also brings far more bracha into the world. When one gives to the poor but does not identify with the poor - one remains on one’s pedestal, looking downward and providing for the indigent with pity. However, when one engages with the poor person on his/her level, one looks into the eyes of the poor person and realizes that our eyes are not so different, our faces are similar and our hearts beat with the same rhythm. At that moment, one gives to one’s fellow human being, one’s brother and one’s friend. And when he gives, he is not losing of his wealth, but rather gleaning from the shared bracha of a blessed interaction of connection, compassion and camaraderie.
John Ruskin, a renowned thinker of the 19th Century, summed it up beautifully saying, “A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money.”
Perhaps, the earliest source for this beautiful lesson, can be found in an allusion contained in the bracha given by Yaakov Avinu to his son, Yehuda, when he identifies him as the future leader of Bnei Yisrael,
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ל ֹ א ־ י ס ר ב ט ִ מ י ה ד ה ְ מ ֹ ח ק ק ִ מ ב י ן ַ ר ְ ג ל י ו ַ ע ד ִ כ י ־ י ב ֹ א ש י ל ה [ ִ י ל ] ְ ו ל ִ י ְ ק ַ ה ת ַ ע ִ י ם ׃ ֹ א ְ ס ִ ר י ַ ל פ ן ע י ר ה [ ִ ע י ר ] ְ ו ַ ל ֹש ר ק ה ְבִ ני ֲאֹת נ ִכ בס ַב ַיִי ן ְלֻב ְבַדם־ֲע נִ ביםסותה[ס ת ׃] ַחְכִליִ לי עיַ נ ִים ִמ י ִין ְל בן־ִ ַ נ ִים מ ח לב׃(פ)
“The scepter shall not depart from Judah, Nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet; So that tribute shall come to him And the homage of peoples be his. He tethers his donkey to a vine, His donkey’s foal to a choice vine; He washes his garment in wine, His robe in blood of grapes. His eyes are darker than wine; His teeth are whiter than milk.1”
The Gemara in Masechet Ketubot 111b, interprets this verse, drawing out our profound teaching,
דאמר רבי יוחנן טוב המלבין שינים לחבירו יותר ממשקהו חלב שנאמר ולבן שנים מחלב אל תקרי לבן שינים אלא לבון שינים
“As Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One who whitens his teeth to his friend by smiling at him is better than one who gives him milk to drink, as it is stated: “And his teeth white [leven shinayim] with milk” (Genesis 49:12). Do not read this expression as leven shinayim; rather, read it as libbun shinayim, the whitening of teeth.”
Rabbi Yochanan gives us a most remarkable image - in proclaiming that the giver is obligated more in showing the white teeth of his smile, than in giving the white milk of his wealth. At that moment, the poor person realizes that he has wealth himself in that he too can always offer an inexpensive smile, and once again, a sense of dignity and brotherhood prevails from the interaction. We are in this world not to be ‘holier than thou’ givers, but rather benevolent sharers of Hashem’s bounty and bracha.
I believe that the Halacha is essentially teaching us that the Mitzvah of Tzedakkah is far more about the redistribution of dignity than it is about the redistribution of wealth.
This understanding is reinforced by the case in which one does not have money to give, where the obligation to engage with the poor person remains as relevant,
ִאם ַאלל ה עִניְו איןל ַמהִי תןל ,לֹאִיְגַערב ְוַיְגִביַ ק ל ע ליו, א לאְיַפְי סנ ִבְד בִרים,ְוַיְר אה ִלב ַה ב ְרצ נ ִל תן ל , א לא אין יד ַמ ש גת. ַה ה: ְו אס ר ְל ַה ֲח ִזיר ה ע ִני ַה אל רי קם, ֲא ִפל אין נ תן ל ַרק ְ ֹר ג רת ַא ַחת, נ ֱא ַמר ַאל י ֹ ב ַד ִנְכ לם(ְתִהִליםעד,כא).(ְל ן ַה ר ְלַק ןסי'ר''ן ְב ם הַרְמַב''ם).
“If a poor person requests [charity] and he has nothing to give him, he should not rebuke him and raise his voice,
but say appeasing words and show good-heartedly that he would like to give but that he just can not afford to. Rema: It is forbidden to turn away a request empty-handed. He can even give the smallest amount, as it says 'Do not let the oppressed retreat disgraced.'"
At all times, the goal is to build and foster the dignity of the other. The money only serves as a means to this and only when it is delivered on the platform of a caring and loving heart.
IS THE MITZVAH OF TZEDAKKAH FOR THE GIVER OR FOR THE RECIPIENT?
Based on the above, we can see that essentially the Mitzvah of Tzedakkah is a path to self- transformation for the giver, where we are called upon to operate with an elevated code of morality and care for all those around us. The Mitzvah is perhaps aimed less at lifting up the ‘have-not’ but rather to transform the ‘have’ - putting him on a path of self-realization through revealing his
1 Bereishit 49:10-12
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essential nature of kindness and goodness1. This then illuminates every other aspect of the person’s life and should invariably lead them to live a life surrounded by Mitzvot and goodness. In the verse that we quoted initially, we can see the essence of the Mitzvah shifting from, “and lend him sufficient for whatever he needs” to the element of, “do not harden your heart and shut your hand against your needy kinsman”.
The Mitzvah is intended to cause a revolution within the giver, and we can now understand why this Mitzvah garners such elaborate praise from Chazal throughout Shas,
"Tzedakah and acts of kindness are the equivalent of all the mitzvot of the Torah"
(Talmud Yerushalmi, Peah 1:1)
"Greater is tzedakah than all the sacrifices" (Masechet Sukkah 49b)
"Great is tzedakah, for since the day that the world was created until this day the world stands upon tzedakah" (Midrash Tanna d'Vei Eliyahu Zutta 1)
Perhaps that is why even someone who is indigent himself is also obligated in the Mitzvah of Tzedakkah2. More than that, it fortifies for the giver, his essential definition as a Jew. As the Gemara in Yevamot 79a teaches,
אמר שלשה סימנים יש באומה זו - הרחמנים והביישנין וגומלי חסדים רחמנים
“The [Jewish] people possess three characteristics: they are merciful, modest and perform deeds of kindness.”
The Rambam brings this down in Hilchot Issurei Bi’ah 19:17, in expounding that one who does not show these characteristics raises suspicion as to the validity of their Jewish lineage,
ְו כן כל ִמי י ב ַעז ת פ ִנים א ַא ְכ ז ִרי ת ְוש נא את ַה ְב ִרי ת ְו אינ מל ל הם ח סד ח ְ ִ ין ל ְבי תר א ִ ְבע ִני ה א. ִסי מ ני ִי ְש ר אל ה ֻא ה ַה ְקד ה ַב ְי ִנין ַר ֲח מ ִנים ְוג ְמ לי ֲח ס ִדים.
“And so too, anyone that is arrogant or nasty and hates others, and doesn’t exercise kindness with them - we have increased suspicion that perhaps he is a Givoni.”
The Mitzvah of Tzedakkah is intended to shift and illuminate all aspects of the giver’s life - turning him into a wholly different person3.
WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH YEHUDA AND HIS SCEPTER?
As we saw above, our central teaching is alluded to in Yehuda’s bracha from his father, Yaakov Avinu. Chazal make an effort in deriving this teaching from the words of the bracha, but why is it found specifically in the bracha given to Yehuda.
The Bechor Shor4, in his comment on this verse, explains that this description of white teeth is relevant to Yehuda, because it describes the character traits of one who is fitting to be king. He
1 The verse states in the negative, “do not harden your heart”, implying that our default position should be to have an open and caring heart.
כל א דם ַח יב ִל תן ְצ ד קה, ֲאִפל , עִני ַהִ ְתַפְר נס ִמן ַהְצ ד קה ַח יב ִל תן ִמַ ה ִיְתנ ל -248:1,2SA,YD
3 Wechangeouressentialdefinition,asweincreaseinourperformanceofthisMitzvah.Itislogicalthereforethatsucha ַה ְצ ד קה ד חה את .247:4 ,Mitzvah has the ability to ward off evil decrees - which we can escape through changing ourselves - SA,YD ,ַהְ זר ת ַה ק ת
4JosephbenIsaacBekhorShorofOrleans(12thcentury)(Hebrew:י סף בן־ִיצ חק ְבכ ר־ ר)wasaFrenchtosafist,exegete,and poet who flourished in the 2nd half of the 12th century.
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explains that the whiteness of his teeth should be whiter than milk, representing purity of character,
“...And his teeth are whiter than milk i.e. A beautiful person with a good reputation and sense of honesty, as is required for Kingship.”
"...ושיניו לבנות מחלב שהוא אוכל וי"ל ...ושיניו לבנות מן החלב כלומר אדם יפה ובעל תואר והגון למלכות..."
In the context of the Chazal that we have learnt based on this verse in its relation to Tzedakkah (i.e. “Greater to show your white teeth in a smile, than to give white milk”), I believe that there is a most powerful and profound lesson in leadership to be found here.
I believe that the reason we learn this by Yehuda, leader of Bnei Yisrael, is because within this seemingly innocuous precondition of the halacha, we find a vital key in understanding authentic leadership. I believe there are two very profound lessons in leadership here.
This precondition of smiling and caring when we give Tzedakkah is very subtle and can so easily be overlooked and under-emphasized, but we have learnt now that it is actually the essence of the Mitzvah. When one leads, one can easily fall into the trap of ensuring to simply, ‘tick all the boxes’ as one moves from task to task. In colloquial halachik language, one looks for the quick path to just be ‘yotzei’1 the requirement of the halacha and then move on to the next task. We learn in this halacha, that if you miss the subtlety, then you miss the whole Mitzvah! Just as when you give, you can’t just be ‘yotzei’ through a heartless action, so too when you lead, you can’t do it without being completely genuine and sincere. A leader who seeks to simply ticks the boxes, will turn around to see that there are not many followers left in the wake of his ‘efficient’ path to ‘getting things done’. The actions of a true leader are always informed by the essence of the task and the overall mission being performed at any given moment.
The second lesson in leadership here is that we don’t move people by just giving to them with our eyes closed, but rather by caring for them with our eyes wide open. The human condition is engaged more by the heart than by the hand. Yehuda is to learn from this lesson that you cannot ‘buy a nation’, as leaders with endless resources will mistakenly think, but a leader has to sincerely care for the wellbeing of the people entrusted to them. Such an ethic would certainly not tolerate the proclamation of, “Let them eat cake”2. An authentic Torah leader must first and foremost open his heart, if he is to reach into the hearts of his followers.
In depicting the connection between kindness and leadership, Franklin D. Roosevelt said so eloquently, “Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.”
Authentic leadership is exactly what typifies Yehuda. He is the brother that takes the bold step forward3 to face his brother, Yosef, in the poignant moment of Teshuva - putting his life on the
1 Short for ‘Yotzei Yedai Chovato’ - trans. exit from one’s obligation by fulfilling it.
2 The quotation, as attributed to Marie Antoinette, was claimed to have been uttered during one of the famines that occurred in France during the reign of her husband, Louis XVI. Upon being alerted that the people were suffering due to widespread bread shortages, the Queen is said to have replied, "Then let them eat brioche.” Although this anecdote was never cited by opponents of the monarchy at the time of the French Revolution, it did acquire great symbolic importance in subsequent histories when pro-revolutionary historians sought to demonstrate the obliviousness and selfishness of the French upper classes at that time. (Wikipedia)
ַו ִי ַ א ֜ ליו ְיה דה ַוי ֹא מ ֮ר ִ בי ֲא ֹד ִנ ֒י ְי ַד בר־ נא ַע ְב ְד ד ב ר ְב א ְז ני ֲא ֹד ִני ְו ַאל־ ִ י ַחר ַא ְפ ְב ַע ְב ד ִ כי כ מ ְכ ַפ ְר ֹעה׃ 44:18 Bereishit 3
Then Judah went up to him and said, “Please, my lord, let your servant appeal to my lord, and do not be impatient
with your servant, you who are the equal of Pharaoh.
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line to save his younger brother Binyamin. He is also the same Yehuda that faces up to his misdeeds with Tamar, calling out, “Tzadkah mimeni”1. Yehuda imbibes authentic leadership - not worrying about how things look, but rather ensuring that Tzedek (‘Justice’ - root of ‘Tzedakkah’) - the right thing - is done, no matter what the outcome to his personal position.
Jewish Kings are not infallible Pharoahs that presume themselves to be gods. Jewish Kings are learned, compassionate, kind and authentic - walking in the Ways of Hashem, called upon to live ethical lives in bringing down the Infinite Wisdom of Torat Hashem to the People.
We learn in Mishlei 24:16, that leadership is not about never failing, it’s about being genuine enough to fall and then get up again, over and over.
כי שבע יפול צדיק וקם ורשעים יכשלו ברעה
“Seven times the righteous man falls and gets up, while the wicked are tripped by one misfortune.”
Setting the paradigm of leadership for us all, Yehuda’s bracha is that he must lead with both the scepter and the smile. The Mitzvah of Tzedakah, in the most subtle and profound of ways teaches us this too, “As Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One who whitens his teeth to his friend by smiling at him is better than one who gives him milk to drink”.
May we always merit to be in the position to share both the white of our teeth and the white of our milk, as we traverse this world - one filled with endless opportunities to share our love, care, resources and dignity.
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Post-Script for our dear Hugo z”l, Ze’ev ben Dov z”l.
It is with a broken heart that I write these words in honour of Hugo z”l. What most of us need to learn through Halacha, Hugo exhibited through his essence, in the way he lived every moment of his precious life. Hugo never just did Tzedakkah, Hugo was Tzedakkah. Hugo could never fathom just ‘giving’ a coin to someone, to fulfill the requirement of the Mitzvah of Tzedakkah. Hugo, at such a young age, set the ultimate example of how to give - with love, care, sensitivity, warmth and the ‘Hugo smile’ that is ingrained in our hearts forever. To those he cared for, his smile was his gift, the coin (or hot lunch) was the afterthought.
Hugo led and continues to lead us with his signature humility, sincerity and kindness - a most authentic leadership ethic that, with the help of Shamayim, we should all strive to implement in our daily lives.
“Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.”
ַו ַי כר ְיה דה ַו י ֹא מ ר צ ְד קה ִמ ִני ִ כי־ ַעל־ כן ל ֹא־ ְנ ַת ִ תי ה ְל לה ְב ִ ני ְו ל ֹא־ י ַ סף ע ד ְל ַד ְע תה׃ 38:26 Bereishit 1
Judah recognized them, and said, “She is more in the right than I, inasmuch as I did not give her to my son Shelah.”
And he was not intimate with her again.
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