Implementation Guide - Meta Moment

IMPLEMENTATI ON GU IDE

META- MOMENTS

© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC TM



“

Between stimulus and response, there is
a space. In th at space lies our freedom
and power to choose our response. In our
response lies our grow th and freedom.

—VI KTOR E. FRANKL

”

© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC TM

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Table of Contents

Overview of Meta-Moments C284
Benefits of Taking Meta-Moments C286
The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment C287
C289
Something Happens C290
Sense C292
Stop C294
C296
See Your Best Self C298
Strategize C299
Succeed C301
C305
Meta-Moment Strategies
Meta-Moments Strategies
Using Meta-Moments in Your Daily Life

LESSON 1 C307
Introducing Meta-Moments: Steps One, Two and Three C308
C314
Lower Elementary C322
Upper Elementary

Middle School

LESSON 2 C329
Introducing Meta-Moments: Step Four C330
C336
Lower Elementary C342
Upper Elementary

Middle School

LESSON 3 C347
Introducing Meta-Moments: Steps Five and Six C348
C354
Lower Elementary C356
Upper Elementary

Middle School

LESSON 4 C359
Everyday Use of Meta-Moments C360
C364
Lower Elementary C368
Upper Elementary

Middle School

Meta-Moments FAQs C371

Student Worksheets C375
1.1 Proactive Meta-Moments Worksheet C376
1.2 Proactive Meta-Moments Worksheet C377
1.3 Proactive Meta-Moments Worksheet C378
1.4 Proactive Meta-Moments Worksheet C379

Meta-Moments

What is a Meta-Moment?

When I get a Emotions can hurt us or help us. They can hurt us when they control
phone call from us. One snide remark can destroy a teacher-student relationship forever.
an angry parent One roll of the eyes can break a colleague’s trust. One angry outburst can
or an angry cost you your job. Whether you’re on the delivering or the receiving end,
taxpayer, unchecked emotions can wreak havoc in our lives.
I now take a
Meta-Moment On the other hand, when we regulate our emotions with effective
before I respond. strategies, they can help us to focus on important tasks, make effective
(Dr. Herb Brown, decisions at work, enjoy healthy relationships, and manage life’s ups and
Superintendent, downs. Indeed, effective emotion regulation is a prerequisite for success.
Oceanside To both get along with others and to get ahead in life, we must be skilled
School District) at regulating which emotions we express to others and how we express
them. This requires a “tool box” of effective strategies.

We coined the term, Meta-Moment, to describe a unique process for
effectively managing the space in time between an emotional trigger
and response. A Meta-Moment is always there for the taking, even
if it’s not immediately apparent. Consider the student who is anxious
about an upcoming test and shuts down, the teacher who is frustrated
by an underachieving gifted student and says something unkind, or the
principal who is being pressured by a demanding parent and loses it.
At first glance, there seems to be no space between the trigger (the test,
the student, the parent) and the response (shutting down, being unkind,
or losing it), but there is. That space must be managed effectively to
promote personal well-being and both academic and professional growth.

The importance of Meta-Moments and their impact on our own and our
students lives is profound! It is not enough to “just calm down” before
moving forward. Merely taking a deep breath or counting to ten does
not suffice. The Meta-Moment—a research-based, six-step process for
prolonging and managing the space in time helps people respond
to their emotions with their best selves in mind and gain mastery of their
lives. The process is:

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C284 © 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC

Meta-Moments

1. Something happens: We realize a trigger has set off
an emotional response.

1. Something Happens

2. Sense: We recognize the shifts in our thoughts,
body, and behavior.

2. Sense

3. Stop: We catch ourselves and focus on our breath to
avoid being swept up by our emotions.

3. Stop

4. See your best self: We activate an image of our “best
self” to change our mindset.

4. See your best self

5. Strategize: We choose an effective emotion
regulation strategy.

5. Strategize

6. Succeed: We respond effectively.

6. Succeed! TM

© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC C285

Meta-Moments

Some of my staff There are two types of Meta-Moments – Proactive and Responsive.
have said that Proactive Meta-Moments are forward looking and allow us to anticipate
this has been a situation and problem-solve before the trigger occurs and the
a life changing full-blown emotional response takes over. Examples of times that
program for teachers may use a Proactive Meta-Moment are in planning for an after
them… they are school meeting with a parent about a challenging student, before sitting
leading a much down with an inexperienced assistant teacher to offer advice, or on the
better existence way to reprimand a student who has been bullying his peers. Examples
because they of times that students may use a Proactive Meta-Moment are before an
are taking those upcoming test, posting inappropriate Facebook messages, or dealing
Meta-Moments.” with a younger sibling. Responsive Meta-Moments are in “real time”
(Mrs. Rhonda and help us to respond effectively to unexpected, challenging
Gelbwasser, situations — when something stressful or frustrating happens and you
Principal, notice that “shift” (lump in your throat, churning in your stomach, heat on
Oceanside your face, sweat on your palms, etc.) and you then feel anxious, angry, or
School #6) frustrated. Responsive Meta-Moments take more practice, because they
take place after or while being hit with a full-blown emotion. The more
we practice Proactive Meta-Moments, the easier it becomes to use
Responsive Meta-Moments.

Benefits of Taking Meta-Moments

Quite simply, people who take Meta-Moments live better lives. They
use emotions as cues for how to act at home, at work, and in everyday
life. Over time, they shift from old, automatic, maladaptive responses to
new, intentional, and adaptive responses. In turn, they build a repertoire
of effective strategies to help them achieve their goals. Educators and
students who take Meta-Moments on a regular basis report that they
experience (1) greater awareness of their feelings, (2) better ability to
detect emotional shifts, particularly unpleasant ones, (3) greater skill in
reducing the intensity of their emotions, (4) more effectiveness in using
helpful emotion regulation strategies, (5) improved well-being, including
less stress, anxiety, and frustration, and (6) an overall sense that they are
both more pleasant and productive at home and at school.

TM

C286 © 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC

The Six Steps
of the
Meta-Moment

© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC TM

The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

1. Something happens: We realize a trigger has set off
an emotional response.

1. Something Happens

2. Sense: We recognize the shifts in our thoughts,
body, and behavior.

2. Sense

3. Stop: We catch ourselves and focus on our breath to
avoid being swept up by our emotions.

3. Stop

4. See your best self: We activate an image of our “best
self” to change our mindset.

4. See your best self

5. Strategize: We choose an effective emotion
regulation strategy.

5. Strategize

6. Succeed: We respond effectively.

6. Succeed! TM © 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC

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The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

Step 1: Something Happens

An emotion is a response that gets us ready to take action when something happens.
Emotions arise due to our appraisals of external events (e.g., someone says something
you consider a betrayal of trust) or internal events (e.g., you recall an encounter you found
stressful). We call these appraisals triggers. Triggers are signals that something we value may
be at stake. We get angry when we see injustice, jealous when we fear we will lose someone
we love, and anxious when we’re not in control of our future. Emotion triggers can be a result
of a thought (e.g., your anticipation about an upcoming difficult situation), a person’s action
(e.g., someone says something to hurt your feelings.), a place (e.g., the vibe you get
in a meeting or from a classroom), or an event (e.g., witnessing a difficult interaction).

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© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC C289

The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

Step 2: Sense

Emotions cause changes or shifts in cognition (thoughts), physiology (bodily sensations),
and behavior (actions). Let’s take a closer look at each.

Cognition. When we experience an emotion, our thoughts often change. Our attention
focuses on the event that caused the emotion. Anger shifts attention outward to an obstacle.
Sadness shifts attention inward to a loss. Emotions also change how we perceive the world;
we’re more optimistic when happy and more pessimistic when sad.

Physiology. When we experience an emotion, various bodily functions are activated. When
we’re afraid or anxious, our heart rate increases and we perspire more. When we’re sad,
our heart rate slows down. These changes prepare the body to respond to the event that
precipitated the emotion. For instance, the increased heart rate that accompanies fear moves
blood more quickly to the limbs, enabling a “fight” or “flight” response.

Behavior. We express emotions through our faces and bodies. Anger brings a furrowed
brow and clenched fists; happiness brings a smile and raised cheeks. By conveying emotions
with facial expressions and body language, we tell others what we’re feeling. For example,
slumped shoulders and a downward gaze communicate sadness. Behavioral reactions
to emotion mostly happen automatically and are what emotions “look like.” (continues)

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The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

Step 2: Sense (Continued)

Sensing cognitive, physiological, and behavioral shifts early is critical to effective emotion
regulation. Emotions are adaptive only when we attend to them, express them appropriately,
and manage them effectively. Take, for example, a stress response. It is designed to be an
asset. By releasing chemicals that help to speed the heart rate, constrict our pupils, dilate the
bronchi in the lungs, and redirecting blood flow to the muscles, our body’s natural response
to stress prepares us to focus on danger and run away with fuel and stamina. However, when
we are stressed for too long, we are bathing ourselves in chemicals and hormones that can
impair our immune systems.

TM

© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC C291

The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

Step 3: Stop

The power of pausing--of stopping in your tracks and breathing—is the next step in the
Meta-Moment process. If we don’t pause and breathe, emotions can take over. Indeed,
emotions often “hijack” the brain in such ways that make wise decision making becomes
impossible. Breathing is not only relaxing; it’s been scientifically proven to affect the heart,
the brain, digestion, and the immune system. Compared to other systems in our body (e.g.,
endocrine, cardiovascular), the respiratory system is unique. Breathing is the only visceral
process that can be overridden with conscious thought. When voluntary control overtakes
metabolic breathing, the area of the brain in charge shifts from the medulla and pons to the
cortex, which helps with self-regulation. Breathing has a profound impact on our physiology
and our health. For thousands of years, yoga practitioners have used breathing or pranayama,
which means “control of the life force,” as a tool for affecting both the mind and body. Most
importantly, breathing exercises can be used to train the body’s reaction to stressful situations
and reduce the production of harmful stress hormones. Slow, deep breathing through the
nose stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, the one that calms us down. When we
are calm we can make wise decisions about how to regulate our emotions. Moreover,
research indicates that slow, deep breathing exercises offer an impressive array of physical
and mental health benefits. For instance, deep breathing has been shown enhance immune
function and reduce hypertension, asthma, autonomic nervous system imbalances, and
psychological or stress-related disorders. It does this by enhancing parasympathetic activity
and decreasing sympathetic (or excitatory) nervous activity – improving respiratory and
cardiovascular function, and decreasing the myriad harmful effects of stress on physical and
mental well-being.

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C292 © 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC

The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

Step 3: Stop (Continued)

The three basic breathing exercises we recommend are:

1 Belly Breaths or breathing in and out through your nose slowly, focusing on relaxing/
extending the stomach,

2 Breathing into Body Parts, specifically breathing into areas of the body that are tight such
as the neck and shoulders or lower back, and

3 Breathing with a Simple Mantra or a guided breathing exercise where we focus on key
words such as: “in/out,” “deep/slow,” “calm/ease,” or “smile/release.” In the most difficult
situations, we may need to separate ourselves physically from a trigger or at least take
a small step away in order to build the necessary space to pause and breathe.

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© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC C293

The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

Step 4: See your best self

Here, we introduce an original technique for choosing the most effective action in any
emotional situation. In this step, the goal is to access a quick mental representation of our
“best self,” taking into consideration our values and goals, the reputation we want to have,
and the ideal outcome for the situation in which the trigger occurred. By asking people to
consider their best selves within the context of managing their emotions, we are inviting them
to activate a positive representation of themselves behaving in a healthy and productive
manner. This helps to ‘push’ or ‘bias’ one’s behavior toward being more pro-social. Invoking
a positive image of the self in the midst of regulating an emotion also inhibits access to
negative representations, and consequently shifts the brain’s focus to searching for and using
adaptive versus maladaptive regulation strategies. Regular practice of activating positive self
images trains the brain to react more positively, building more neural pathways for healthy
emotion regulation over time. Setting positive intentions regularly also affirms an “I can do
this” attitude, which speeds up the cool down process during heated, negative emotional
experiences.

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The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

Upper Elementary students in Australia create “best self”
self-portraits.

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The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

Step 5: Strategize

In this step, we highlight research-based strategies that help students and educators regulate
emotions and behavior effectively in order to both realize their best selves and achieve their
desired goals. Gradually, individuals fill their “toolbox” with effective thought and action
strategies that help to shift thinking and behavior. One effective strategy is reframing, by
which people construe a potentially unpleasant situation in a way that changes its impact. This
strategy reduces the negative emotional experience, while enhancing well-being and
interpersonal relationships. Suppression, by contrast, inhibits emotional expression. While it
prevents potentially inappropriate behavior, it doesn’t provide subjective relief from unpleasant
emotions. Suppression also has substantial physiological and cognitive costs on our bodies
and minds, respectively.

Everyone needs a toolbox of effective thought and action strategies. Because, for the most
part, we cannot leave the situation (action strategy) when we are in school, we need to rely
on modifying how we think in order to regulate our emotions effectively. In everyday life,
reframing (thought strategy) may not be sufficient for regulating emotions. Doing something
active or productive, like exercise; maintaining healthy eating habits, and taking other actions
may be necessary over time.

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The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

Step 5: Strategize (Continued)

The first two strategies we suggest everyone learn and practice are: positive reappraisal
and positive self-talk. When we reappraise, we change the way we think about a situation.
For instance, our unpleasant thoughts and desire to yell at a student who is acting foolishly
may shift to a mental image of the child’s hectic home life, building empathy and helping
us to respond in a more constructive manner. Positive self-talk pertains to what we can say
to ourselves to shift our emotion. Reminding ourselves that we have just 15 minutes left of
a difficult lesson, that we should not let someone get to us, or that we just need to calm
down are examples of private self-talk. Later in this document, we provide a list of effective
strategies that can be used to regulate emotions. We also review some of the ineffective
strategies we tend to use.

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© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC C297

The Six Steps of the Meta-Moment

Step 6: Succeed

The final step in the Meta-Moment process is ‘succeed’. Here is where the hard work of the
previous five steps pays off. By this point, we have accurately identified the trigger (Something
happens), recognized the shifts in our thoughts and actions that occurred with the feeling
(Sense), paused and breathed (Stop), evoked an image our ideal self (See your best self), and
used an effective strategy to regulate our emotions (Strategize). Now we are ready
to synthesize and use this information so that we can respond with an action plan that will
promote personal well-being, and both academic and professional growth. This action plan
need to be practical and evaluated to ensure that it is effective and aligns with your best self.

TM

C298 © 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC

Meta-Moment
Strategies

© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC TM



Meta-Moment Strategies

Meta-Moment Strategies: Building your Toolbox After I led 4th
graders through
Each of us at some point or another has learned ineffective emotion a proactive
regulation strategies. These ineffective strategies are learned primarily Meta-Moment
through poor modeling from parents, caregivers, and other adult role activity, students
models including teachers. said they felt
so much more
This section is divided into three sections. First, we describe ineffective relaxed and that
strategies. These strategies are labeled as such because they tend to either they wanted to
make situations worse or do not address emotions directly, in turn making remember to do
even more difficult to manage. Many of these ineffective strategies have this before an
long-term negative consequences for academic or workplace performance, upcoming test.”
mental and physical health, problem solving, and relationships. We then (Emotional
discuss two types of effective emotion regulation strategies – thought and Intelligence
action. Thought strategies help individuals shift or change their thinking Coach)
about the situation and action strategies are things individuals actually do
to regulate the emotion effectively.

Older students and adults can begin to practice effective strategies once
they are understood. Younger students, however, will need to practice/
roleplay each strategy in hypothetical situations before trying it in the
real world. Repetition is the key to permanence for students and adults
alike. Using scenarios from television, storybooks, social studies lessons,
and literature are ideal ways of teaching students to think critically about
different emotion regulation strategies. For example, a scenario around the
emotion of anger (e.g., a short vignette about a friend or younger sibling
who broke a student’s toy) could be presented. Students could then be
taught the strategy of reframing. A discussion could take place, asking
students to brainstorm as many ways as possible to view the situation in a
positive way. This will allow them to see that there are many perspectives
and not just one way of viewing a situation. A second example could be for
visualization. Students could imagine themselves in their favorite places at
home or school. They would then be asked a series of questions to help
them describe the details of their images: What does it look like? How do
you feel? What do you hear?

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Meta-Moment Strategies

1. Mostly ineffective strategies that should be dropped from your toolbox

Strategy Definition Example

Avoidance Intentionally not getting involved; keeping others from Not dealing with a bullying situation in your classroom

knowing about your concerns

Rumination Persistent and recurrent over-thinking and worrying; Obsessively thinking about what’s going wrong in

mulling over problems repeatedly your classroom to the point that you cannot sleep

Acting out Behaving inappropriately or aggressively toward Saying something hurtful to a student

another person or object

Rationalization Attempting to justify uncomfortable or controversial Thinking that your twenty years of experience justifies

feelings or actions with logic instead of giving an the way you handled a situation in a negative way.

honest explanation; making excuses

Projection Denying (often subconsciously) your own thoughts Asking, “Why is everyone in this school so bitter?”

and feelings and instead ascribing them to others when you are the one who’s bitter

Regression Handling emotions by reverting to an earlier stage Pouting in a meeting when you feel frustrated

of development rather than handling them in an or disappointed

adult fashion

Self-denigration Belittling or criticizing yourself Telling yourself that you are the worst teacher after

an unsuccessful lesson

Self-blame Feeling responsible for causing unpleasant feelings, Holding yourself responsible for a student who failed

often leading to helpless feelings and negative thinking your class even when it’s not your fault

Other-blame Making others feel responsible for something they Using a colleague as a scapegoat for something you

may or may not have been responsible for did wrong

Wishful thinking Forming unrealistic or overly optimistic beliefs and/ Believing that a student will eventually ‘‘figure it out’’

or making decisions according to what might even when that’s unlikely

be pleasing to imagine rather than reality

Denial Rejecting a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept Not listening to negative feedback from colleagues

even in spite of overwhelming evidence

Procrastination Putting off important tasks to a later time by either Waiting until the last minute to plan a lesson or grade

replacing them with tasks of lower priority or with student papers

activities that bring enjoyment

Withdrawal Separating yourself from people to avoid unpleasant Not going to a meeting because you do not get

or difficult emotions along with one of your colleagues

Suppression Deliberately trying not to think about an emotion, Pushing negative thoughts about a colleague

situation, or uncomfortable thoughts out of your mind

Poor health habits Making poor choices that affect your physical health, Eating junk food and staying up late playing

such as not eating regular meals, overeating, or not video games to deal with anxiety about work

getting enough sleep or physical activity

Using substances Using drugs, alcohol, or tobacco to manage emotions Binge drinking to manage a difficult relationship with

an administrator in your school

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Meta-Moment Strategies

2. Mostly effective strategies that should be added to your toolbox

Strategy Definition Example
Breathing
Positive reap- Inhaling and exhaling air, expanding the chest Taking a few, slow deep breaths to relax before
praisal
and belly entering a stressful meeting
Positive self-talk
Distraction Putting a positive spin on the way you see a situation, Thinking to yourself, “His parents are in the middle
Mindfulness
such as reminding yourself of another person’s life of a divorce, and things are tough at home.
Acceptance
or situation That could be why he’s so frustrated with his
Mental space
Visualization school work recently.”
Physical space
Telling yourself or repeating in your head something Saying to yourself, “I really know this material.

that will help you through a situation I’ve practiced this lesson over and over. I can do it!”

Focusing on the important aspect(s) of a situation by Not paying attention to a colleague in a meeting who

disregarding what’s unimportant is making strange facial expressions

Bringing your complete attention to the present moment Concentrating carefully on your words, facial

expressions, and body language when communicating

with someone difficult with whom you would rather

not be speaking

Allow yourself to experience the emotion, knowing Allowing yourself to feel disappointed after a negative

that is normal and okay to feel evaluation knowing that those feelings are normal

and temporary and that the review will motivate you

to work harder

Take a short “time out” or mental break to collect Deliberately pausing before entering a meeting

yourself (usually coincides with breathing) to take a breath and clear your mind

Thinking of something, someone, or some place that Visualizing yourself sitting on your back porch

brings you feelings of joy or relaxation in the summer when feeling burnt out

Putting physical distance between you and the trigger Stepping back from a heated argument with

of uncomfortable feelings a colleague to calm down

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© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC C303

Meta-Moment Strategies

3. Effective strategies that should be added to your tool box.
These strategies require time and planning and enhance long-term
health and well-being.

Strategy Definition Example
Meditation Engaging in a formal practice of training your minds Spending five minutes each morning in a quiet place
or self-inducing a state of consciousness to realize focusing on your breath or repeating a mantra
Seeking spiritual some benefit, for instance, cultivating a specific
support feeling like compassion or attending to a focal point Attending a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque
Physical activity (like the breath) for services
Constructive Praying or believing in a higher power to help you Going to the gym or attending a yoga class regularly
activity manage a challenging situation
Participating in an activity such as stretching, Finding time in your life to engage in activities you
walking, or another form of exercise enjoy, such as cooking, painting, gardening,
Engaging in hobbies or other productive activities or creative writing
as a way to promote general well-being Watching a favorite TV show alone or with others
each week
Entertainment Listening to music, reading a book, watching Separating two students in your classroom who
television, or playing games to relax antagonize each other regularly
Modifying the Changing aspects of a circumstance, such as the Discussing with a friend your feelings of frustration
situation location of objects or individuals about a difficult work situation
Finding support Calling a friend or family member to seek advice Recognizing that your feelings of incompetence are
from others or support due to the fact that you would be better at teaching
Shifting the goal Realizing that your attempts at success are not a different grade level of students
working because you need to modify your goal(s) Spending time learning about an aspect of a new
lesson you need to deliver in order to relieve
Focusing on Working hard to tackle an issue by learning more your anxiety
solving the about it and getting others’ perspectives Channeling your rage about bullying into involving
problem yourself in a state committee to change legislature
Taking action for Letting others, perhaps including an authority know
a cause or social about the problem; rallying for a cause Realizing that your best efforts at managing stress
issue are not working and making the decision to see
Seeking Going to a qualified professional (e.g., a professional to support you
professional help psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, or
counselor) for counseling

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Meta-Moment Strategies

Using Meta-Moments in Your Daily Life

Materials: Proactive Meta-Moment Worksheet

The first step to mastering Meta-Moments is to make a commitment to practicing Proactive
Meta-Moments in your daily life. Regularly using Meta-Moments gives you the experience
and credibility to teach the technique to others.

1. To start your journey, choose a specific issue, situation, or interaction that consistently
evokes an unpleasant emotion (anger, frustration, anxiety, stress) that you have difficulty
managing. Some examples are:
• Supporting a student who constantly whines about homework (Annoyance)
• Dealing with pressures at school, including state test preparation and student perfor-
mance (Stress)
• The need to constantly check your phone/email in meetings and at home (Anxiety)
• Working with a colleague who is condescending or arrogant (Anger/Contempt)
• Entering a chaotic home after a long day and draining commute (Frustration)

2. Complete the questions on the Proactive Meta-Moment Worksheet 1.1, which bring you
through the Meta-Moment process

3. Set your goal of taking daily, Proactive Meta-Moments.

4. Remember that initially it is not easy and that you will have to make a deliberate effort to
practice Meta-Moments, knowing and accepting that you will not always succeed.

5. Realize that you are the role model for others and that other people may not have the
same goals as you do.

6. Give others (close friends and colleagues, family members) permission to remind you and
alert you when you might need to take a Meta-Moment.

7. Revisit your Meta-Moment worksheet regularly. Analyze your patterns. Which step in the
process is presenting you with the greatest challenge? Are you relying on just one strategy
to regulate your feelings? Have you tried other strategies?

8. Finally, recall that developing your best self is a life-long process.

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© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC C305



© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC 1LESSON

Introducing
Meta-Moments
Steps One,
Two and Three

TM

Introducing Meta-Moments Lesson 1 | Lower Elementary

RECOMMENDED GRADE Lesson 1:
LEVELS: K - 2 Introducing Meta-Moments:
Steps One, Two, and Three
Purpose: To provide
students with a formal Lower Elementary
introduction to the Meta-
Moment (Steps 1, 2 and 3) Procedure
1. Introduce Meta. Introduce students to the new character, Meta,
Learning Objectives:
Students will be able to… through the images on the poster, the cut-out images on a Velcro
• Describe the first board, or the images pasted on popsicle sticks.

three steps of the Today I’m going to introduce you to Meta who will help us handle our
Meta-Moment feelings. Meta will help us handle unpleasant feelings in a helpful way
so that we do not say or do things to hurt other people’s feelings and
Materials and so that we can feel good about ourselves.
Preparation:
Students will need… 2. Introduce Step 1, Something Happens. Remind
• Meta-Moments poster students that everyone experiences many
• A Velcro wall with each unpleasant emotions (as they likely know from
using the Mood Meter), and that today’s lesson
Meta-Moment character is on the feeling of anger and ways to handle
cut out and stuck to the this feeling. At this point you may have already
wall; or popsicle sticks read a storybook to students that discussed
with each of the Meta- this emotion.
Moment characters
• Paper with a pen, Let’s get started! Look at the first picture of Meta. The arrows mean that
crayons, or markers something happened to Meta. In fact, we’re going to focus on a time
when something made Meta feel angry. What kinds of things do you
Optional Materials: think could have made Meta angry? (Examples include someone took
• A book or two that: (1) his toy or his mom or dad told him he could not play outside when he
wanted to.) [Accept 3-4 responses from students]. What kinds of things
tells a story in which a make you angry? [Elicit more responses.]
character demonstrates
the feeling of anger, and Ensure students’ responses make sense for the feeling of anger.
(2) is appropriate for a Ensure the theme around the responses pertains to unfairness
read aloud; examples or a goal being blocked. Compliment students for coming up with
include: Sophie’s Angry, lots of reasons that children get angry.
Angry Day or Llama,
Llama Mad at Mama

Time: 30 minutes,
repeated with different
emotions throughout
the year

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Introducing Meta-Moments Lesson 1 | Lower Elementary

Remind students that everyone gets angry and that it is normal, but Evaluation:
what matters most is how we handle our anger. Students will be able to
(1) share what makes
Remember, it’s normal to feel angry. Each of us gets angry at times. them feel angry, (2)
describe how they think,
Now, let’s imagine Meta is angry because his friend took his toy without how their bodies feel, and
asking. Sometimes we say and do hurtful things when we feel angry. the facial expressions
Today, Meta will teach us helpful ways to handle our angry feelings. First, and body language they
let’s think more about the feeling of anger. experience when angry
(this same lesson should
3. Introduce Step 2, Sense. Show students the second image of Meta. be repeated for other
Point out that Meta’s brain is thinking certain emotions, like nervous),
things, his body is feeling a certain way, and that and (3) demonstrate how
he is showing his feelings on his face and body. to take three-second
breaths.
When we get angry, lots of things happen. We
think different things, our bodies feel different, CASEL
and we behave differently. Remember, Meta is Competencies:
angry because someone took his toy without asking. Students will develop
the following CASEL
What might Meta be thinking right now? [Elicit student responses, and recommended
list them.] competencies:
• Self-awareness
What might you think if someone took your toy without asking? [Elicit • Self-management
student responses, and list them.] • Social awareness
• Relationship skills
You might have to provide a few examples like, “I don’t like my friend • Responsible
right now” or “He’s mean.”
decision making
How might Meta’s body feel on the inside now that he is angry? Would
his body feel relaxed or tight? [Elicit student responses and list them.]

Ideally get students to talk about and demonstrate how their body
would feel.

Next, focus on what the face and body look like.

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What do our faces and bodies look like when we get angry? [Ask for
students to stand up and show their faces and bodies.] Make sure to
point out changes in eyebrows, mouth, stiffness in the body, shoulders,
and clenched fists.

Note. Reviewing pictures and dialogue from storybooks helps to
demonstrate how children think, how their bodies feel, and what the
face and body look like when feeling angry. The more students see
examples and demonstrate, the better.

Students should then draw a picture of themselves that resembles the
Step 2 picture of Meta, and if able to write, describe the thoughts they
have when they feel angry, what happens inside their body, and what
their face and body look like.

Next, let students know that when our faces look angry, our bodies get
tight, and we have lots of angry thoughts, it is important to stop and
breathe.

4. Introduce Step 3, Stop. Show students the third image of Meta where
he is holding the stop sign. Here you will teach them how to do
3-second
belly breaths to calm down.

Notice that Meta is holding a “stop” sign. What do
you think the stop sign means? Why would Meta
need to stop or pause when he’s feeling angry?
[Elicit student responses.]

One very important thing Meta could do is take a few deep breaths to
relax. Breathing helps us to calm down when we feel angry. Who has
practiced a breathing exercise to calm down? [Elicit student responses
and ask them to demonstrate; compliment students.]

Today, we are all going to practice a special breathing exercise.
First, I want everyone to sit up (either at their desks or on the carpet),

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place your hands on your knees or thighs, and make your back really
straight. It’s easier to breath when we have good posture.

Okay, everyone, follow me. For the first one, watch my hands. Let’s
breathe in through our noses slowly as I raise my hands. [Raise your
hands slowly over 3 seconds, asking students to breathe in slowly
through their nose while gently pushing their bellies out.]

Now, let’s breathe out slowly for 3 seconds. [Lower your hands, and
ask students to breathe out slowly using their noses].

Let’s try it one more time. This time, put your hands on your belly to
feel how your belly goes in and out. Compliment students on their
ability to follow directions and be calm.

Now we can try it with our eyes closed. Ready? Let’s all breathe in
slowly for 1, 2, 3 seconds, now let’s all breathe out slowly for 1, 2, 3
seconds. Let students know they can count silently to themselves for
both the in and out breath when they practice this at home, or any time
they feel they need to feel more relaxed.

Remind students that nose breathing is different than mouth breathing.
When we breath in and out through our noses it helps us to calm down
more quickly than when we use our mouths. (You can remind them of
a dog panting to demonstrate the difference between nose and mouth
breathing.)

How do you feel now that you have taken some deep breaths? [Wait for
responses.] In most cases, students will say calmer and more relaxed.

What’s different about how you look and feel now that you have
breathed deeply? If you drew a picture of yourself now, how would it
be different than the picture you drew when you were feeling angry?
[Elicit a few students’ responses.]

Why is it helpful to take deep breaths when you feel angry or upset?

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[Elicit a few students’ responses.] Remind students that it is important
to take deep breaths to calm down so that they can think more clearly
and make better choices about how they behave.

Let students know they should practice this 3-second breathing
exercise whenever they feel angry, frustrated, or nervous. They can
practice this anywhere at any time. They can do it with their eyes open
or if they are comfortable, with them closed. They can do it with other
people or do it quietly by themselves.

5. Wrap up and review. Review the first three steps in the
Meta-Moment process.

Conclude the lesson by reviewing the first three steps and then asking
students to share what they learned in the lesson. Remind students
that the first step was to recognize what makes them angry. Ask
students to share, once again, what things tend to make them feel
angry. Then, ask them (1) what they think about when they are angry,
(2) how their bodies feel when they are angry, and (3) how their faces
and bodies look when they are angry. Finally, remind students about
the importance of deep breathing to help them calm down. End the
lesson with one more set of breathing exercises. (Make sure students
understand that breathing in and out through the nose for 3 seconds is
the good way to calm down).

To close the lesson, remind students that we do not just get angry from
the things that happen to us, but also from (1) things that happen to
other people (like watching a friend’s feelings get hurt) or (2) by just
thinking about things that make us angry.

Finally, remind students that it is normal to feel angry and that
everyone feels angry sometimes. What is most important is that we
regulate our emotions effectively to be our “best self.” That’s what
Meta is teaching us.

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A second grade student’s drawing of Step 2: Sense

© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC TM

C313

Introducing Meta-Moments Lesson 1 | Upper Elementary

RECOMMENDED GRADE Lesson 1:
LEVELS: 3 - 5 Introducing Meta-Moments:
Steps One, Two, and Three
Purpose: To provide
students with a formal Upper Elementary
introduction to the Meta-
Moment (Steps 1, 2 and 3) Procedure
1. Introduce Meta. Introduce students to the new character, Meta,
Learning Objectives:
Students will be able to… through the images on the poster.
• Describe the first three
steps of a Meta-Moment Today we are going to learn a new tool that will help us handle our
feelings. The tool is called a “Meta-Moment.” Meta-Moments will help
Materials and us handle unpleasant feelings in helpful ways so that we do not say or
Preparation: do things to hurt other people’s feelings. Meta-Moments also can help
Students will need… us to feel good about ourselves.
• Meta-Moments poster;
• Paper with a pen, crayons, 2. Introduce Step 1, Something Happens. Remind
or markers students that everyone experiences unpleasant
emotions (as they likely know from using the
Time: 30 minutes, Mood Meter), and that today’s lesson is on the
repeated with different feeling, annoyed – the act of being irritated or
emotions throughout bothered by what someone is doing.
the year
Let’s get started! Look at the first picture on the Meta-Moment poster.
Evaluation: The arrows mean that something happened to make Meta feel annoyed.
Students will be able to (1) Today we’ll focus on times when someone says or does something that
share what makes them makes us feel annoyed. What kinds of things could Meta’s friends or
feel annoyed, (2) describe family members have done to make Meta annoyed? (Examples include
how they think, how their someone pushed him and didn’t say sorry or someone interrupted him
bodies feel, and the facial and was rude.) [Accept 3-4 responses from students.]
expressions and body
language associated with What kinds of things make you annoyed? [Elicit more responses.]
feeling annoyed (this same [Elicit more responses.]
lesson should be repeated
for other emotions,
including nervous), and (3)
demonstrate how to take
3-second belly breaths.

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Ensure students’ responses make sense for the word, annoyed, as CASEL
opposed to angry or enraged. The responses should be about things Competencies:
that are irritating as opposed to major injustices like someone being Students will develop
bullied. Compliment students for coming up with lots of reasons for the following CASEL
getting annoyed. recommended
competencies:
Remind students that everyone gets annoyed and that it is normal, but • Self-awareness
what matters most is how we handle ourselves when we are annoyed. • Self-management
• Social awareness
Remember, it’s normal to feel annoyed. Each of us gets annoyed at • Relationship skills
times. Let’s imagine Meta is annoyed because his friend would not stop • Responsible
bothering him about playing a game that he didn’t want to play. In the decision making
past, when friends would bother Meta he would say things like, “leave
me alone” or “you are so annoying.” But today, Meta wants to teach us
helpful ways to regulate unpleasant feelings like annoyed.

3. Introduce Step 2, Sense. Show students the second image of Meta.
Point out that when we feel annoyed, our thinking
changes, our bodies feel a certain way, and we tend
to show the feeling on our faces and in our bodies.

When we are annoyed, lots of things happen. We
think different things, our bodies feel different, and
we behave differently. Remember, Meta is annoyed because his friend
keeps bothering him to play when he doesn’t really want to play.

First, focus on the thoughts. Spend a few minutes eliciting responses
from students.

What might be some unpleasant thoughts you would have if your friend
kept bothering you to play and you didn’t want to play? [Elicit student
responses and list them.]

Second, focus on the how the body feels on the inside. Ideally, get
students out of their seats and have them close their eyes to picture
how their bodies would feel.

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I take How might your body feel on the inside when you are annoyed? [Elicit
Meta-Moments student responses and list them.]
constantly in my
life... at least five Third, focus on how our faces and bodies look when we are annoyed.
to ten a day... Make sure to point out changes in eyebrows, mouth, stiffness in body,
I’ve taught [my shoulders, and clenched fists.
children] about
it; instead of What does your face and body look like when you are annoyed? [Ask
lashing out, let’s for students to stand up and show their faces and bodies.]
take those deep
breaths. Now, ask students to draw a self-portrait of “annoyed” that resembles
(Mrs. Kristine Step 2, Sense, on the Meta-Moment poster. The portrait should show
Ryan, 4th what each student’s face and body would look like (make sure each
grade teacher, includes eyebrows, mouth, torso, shoulders, and hands in the picture),
Oceanside what each would be thinking (using a thought bubble), and how each of
School #3) their bodies would be feeling (activated) on the inside.

Ask students to share their self-portraits with partners or the class.

Next, let students know that when we notice these “cues” in our minds,
on our faces, and inside our bodies, we need to stop and breathe. If
we don’t stop and breathe, we often allow our unpleasant feelings to
take over. When our unpleasant feelings take over, we often say or do
hurtful things and then do not feel good about ourselves.

4. Introduce Step 3, Show students the third image of Meta where he is
holding the stop sign. Here you will teach them
how to do 3-second belly breaths to calm down
when unpleasant emotions are taking control.
Notice that Meta is holding a stop sign. What do
you think the stop sign means? Why would Meta
need to stop or pause when he’s annoyed? [Elicit
student responses.]

One very important thing Meta could do is take a few deep breaths
to relax. Breathing helps us to calm down when we feel angry. Who
has tried focusing on their breathing to calm down? [Elicit student
responses and ask them to demonstrate; compliment students for their
demonstrations.]

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Introducing Meta-Moments Lesson 1 | Upper Elementary

Today, we are all going to practice a special breathing exercise. First, I
want everyone to sit up [either at their desks or on the carpet], place
your hands on your knees or thighs, and make your back really straight.
It’s easier to breath when we have good posture.

Okay, everyone, follow me. For the first one, watch my hands. Let’s
breathe in through our noses slowly as I raise my hands [raise your
hands over a total of 3 seconds, asking students to breathe in slowly
through their noses while gently pushing their bellies out]. Now, let’s
breathe out slowly for 3 seconds [lower your hands and ask students to
breathe out slowly using their noses].

Let’s try it one more time. This time, put your hands on your belly to
feel how your belly goes in and out. Compliment students on their
ability to follow directions and be calm.

Now we can try it with our eyes closed. Ready? Let’s all breathe
in slowly for 1, 2, 3 seconds. Now, let’s all breathe out slowly for 1,
2, 3 seconds. Let students know they can count 1, 2, 3 silently to
themselves for both the in and out breath when they practice this at
home or any time they feel they need to feel more relaxed.

Remind students that it is important to take deep breaths to calm down
so that they can think more clearly and make better choices about how
they behave. Also let students know that nose breathing is different
than mouth breathing. When we breath in and out through our noses
it helps us to calm down more quickly than when we use our mouths.
(You can remind them of a dog panting to demonstrate the difference
between nose and mouth breathing.)

How do you feel now that you have taken some deep breaths? [Wait for
responses.] In most cases, students will say calmer and more relaxed.

What’s different about how you look and feel now that you have
breathed deeply? If you drew a picture of yourself now, how would it
be different than the picture you drew when you were feeling angry?
[Elicit a few students’ responses.]

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Why is it helpful to take deep breaths when you feel angry or upset?
[Elicit a few students’ responses.] Remind students that it is important
to take deep breaths to calm down so that they can think more clearly
and make better choices about how they behave.

Finally, let students know they should practice the 3-second breathing
exercise whenever they feel annoyed, angry, frustrated, or nervous
about things. They can practice this anywhere at any time. They can
do it with their eyes open or if they are comfortable, with them closed.
They can do it with other people or quietly by themselves.

5. Wrap up and review. Review the first three steps in the Meta-Moment
process.

Conclude the lesson by reviewing the first three steps followed by
asking students to share what they learned in the lesson. Remind
students that the first step was to recognize what makes them
annoyed. Ask students to share, once again, what things tend to make
them feel annoyed. Then, ask them (1) what they think about when
they are annoyed, (2) how their bodies feel when they are annoyed,
and (3) how their faces and bodies look when they are annoyed. Finally,
remind students about the importance of deep breathing to help them
calm down. End the lesson with one more set of breathing exercises.
(Make sure students understand that breathing in and out through the
nose for 3 seconds is the good way to calm down).

Finally, remind students that it is normal to feel annoyed and that
everyone feels annoyed sometimes. What is most important is that we
regulate our emotions effectively so that we behave with our “best self”
in mind. That’s what Meta is teaching us.

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Optional Activity: Create a role-play activity where you, the teacher,
demonstrate Steps 1, 2, and 3 of the Meta-Moment process. For
example, in one school that uses RULER, a teacher asked an assistant
teacher to interrupt her abruptly during a lesson by walking across the
classroom crumbling a piece of paper loudly—this was her “trigger” for
feeling annoyed: Step 1, Something happens. The teacher then said
something sarcastic to the assistant teacher, rolled her eyes, and noticed
her breathing got faster and that her posture got stiff: Step 2, Sense.
Then, the teacher went over the scenario to demonstrate the importance
of noticing the shifts, and both stopping and breathing: Step 3, Stop in
order to calm down and regulate the emotion effectively.

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A fourth grade student’s drawing of Step 2: Sense

TM © 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC

C320



Introducing Meta-Moments Lesson 1 | Middle School

RECOMMENDED GRADE Lesson 1:
LEVELS: 6 - 8 Introducing Meta-Moments:
Steps One, Two, and Three
PURPOSE: To provide
students with a formal Middle School
introduction to the Meta-
Moment (Steps 1, 2 and 3) Procedure
1. Introduce Meta. Introduce students to the idea and meaning of the
LEARNING OBJECTIVES:
Students will be able to… Meta-Moment through the diagram below and followed by images
• Describe the first three on the poster (or PowerPoint).
steps associated with
taking a Meta-Moment a. Hand one blank Meta-Moment Worksheet 1.4 to each student

Materials and b. Display image below on PowerPoint or blackboard
Preparation:
Students will need… c. Today we are going to learn a new tool called a “ Meta-Moment.”
• Meta-Moments poster or Meta-from students.
PowerPoint slides
• Meta-Moments STIMULUS / TRIGGER Meta-Moment
worksheet 1.4
• Paper with a pen or Successful Response
markers
Ineffective Response
Time: 30 minutes,
repeated with different d. Ask students, “How many of you have behaved in a way that you are
emotions throughout not proud of as a result of intense, unpleasant feelings?”
the year.
e. All of us, at some point or another, have “lost it.” Our emotions have
Evaluation: gotten the best of us. When we experience unpleasant emotions like
Students will be able to anxiety or anger, we often revert to our “habitual” responses. We
(1) share what makes don’t take time to problem solve in the moment to choose and use
them feel annoyed, (2) effective strategies. The Meta-Moment is a process we will learn to
describe how they think, help us manage our emotions effectively.
how their bodies feel,
and how their faces and
bodies look when feeling
annoyed (this same
lesson should be repeated
for other emotions,
including nervous), and (3)
demonstrate how to take
3-second belly breaths.

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2. Introduce Steps 1 and 2, Something happens and Sense. Remind CASEL
students that everyone experiences unpleasant emotions and that Competencies:
today’s lesson will focus on helpful ways of managing the feeling Students will develop
of irritation – the feeling of being annoyed and bothered by someone the following CASEL
or something. recommended
competencies:
a. Show an age-appropriate scene from a movie that demonstrates • Self-awareness
a moment where a teenager was irritated and either lost control • Self-management
or behaved in a way that resulted in negative consequences. Ideally • Social awareness
the scene should demonstrate irritation leading to a conflict that • Relationship skills
makes the situation worse. Record a few ideas for scenes here: • Responsible
decision making
Idea 1:

Idea 2:

Idea 3:

Debrief the scene through a series of open-ended questions: What,
in your opinion, was the character feeling and thinking? What were the
outward signs – in the character’s face, body, and voice? What was
triggered the character’s irritation in the scene? How did the character
respond to this trigger? How did the other character(s) respond?
What was effective or ineffective about each person’s response?
What was the end result of the way each character responded?

b. Now, let’s try this in our own lives.

i. Introduce students to Step 1, Something
Happens. Show students the image of Step 1.
Think about a time in the last week or so that
you felt irritated and didn’t respond effectively
or in a way that made you feel proud. Using the
worksheet, describe in detail your trigger and
your ineffective response. If you want, you can
draw it.

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The staff can’t ii. Introduce students to Step 2, Sense. Show students the image of
stop talking Step 2. When we are irritated, lots of things happen.
about We think different things, our bodies feel different,
Meta-Moments. and we behave differently. As you think about one
They even particular moment when you felt irritated, describe
brought stories how the feeling influenced your thinking, how your
and examples body “felt,” and how you expressed
to share this the feeling in your face, body, and voice (how you
morning
(Principal, looked). Describe in writing or a drawing.
Valley Stream)
iii. Debrief Steps 1 and 2. First, ask students to share the different
triggers they described for irritated and their typical ineffective
responses. Then focus on the thoughts, bodily sensations, and
expressive behaviors associated with the feeling. This can be done
as a large group exercise or in pairs. Ideally students will act out
as well as talk about the different components.

iv. Finally, let students know that when we experience unpleasant
emotions like irritation, we want to avoid behaving in ways that
we will later regret. Teach them the idea that there are no “do-overs.”
When we say or do hurtful things to another person, our behavior
is not reversible; it may remain in the person’s memory forever.
For this reason, taking a Meta-Moment is so critical. Paying attention
to our triggers and the shifts they create in our thoughts, body, and
behavior are the first two steps to building greater self-awareness
and to becoming better at managing our behavior.

3. Introduce Step 3, Stop. Show students the image of Step 3. Teach
students the importance of stopping or pausing to breathe. Inform
students how breathing helps to calm our minds and bodies. Teach
students how to do 6-second breaths.

a. Today, we all are going to practice a special breathing exercise.
Please sit up straight and place your hands on your knees or thighs.
It’s easier to breath when we have good posture.

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b. Okay, everyone, follow me. For the first one, watch my hands. Let’s
breathe in through our noses slowly as I raise my hands. [Raise your
hands for a total of 6 seconds, asking students to breathe in slowly
through their noses while gently pushing their bellies out]. Now,
let’s breathe out slowly for 6 seconds. [Lower your hands and ask
students to breathe out slowly using their noses].

c. Ask, Who found this breathing exercise challenging? [Wait for
responses. For many students, six seconds will feel like a very long
time.] Spend a minute discussing how important it is to collect
ourselves and be calm in today’s fast-paced world. We generally
react quickly and habitually; breathing allows us to have more control
over how we react.

d. Let’s try it one more time. This time, if you would like, you can try
it with your eyes closed. Ready? Let’s all breathe in slowly for 1, 2,
3, 4, 5, 6 seconds, now let’s all breathe out slowly for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
seconds. Let student know they can count to 6 silently to themselves
for both the in and out breath when they practice this at home
or any time they feel they need to feel more relaxed. Also let students
know that nose breathing is different than mouth breathing. When
we breath in and out through our nose it helps us to calm down more
quickly than when we use our mouths. (You can remind them of a
dog panting to demonstrate the difference between nose and mouth
breathing.). You also can explain, briefly, how the sympathetic and
parasympathetic nervous systems function to add scientific rationale
for the importance of slow, deep breathing through the nose.

i. When we are triggered, the sympathetic (arousing) nervous system
is activated. This system mobilizes its energy to “react.” It creates
the fight or flight response – preparing the body to respond to the
threat by either attacking (flight) or fleeing (flight).

ii. When we breathe slowly using our noses, the parasympathetic
(calming) nervous system is activated. Here, processes are
activated to help the body conserve energy. Slower heart rate and
reduced blood pressure are associated with the parasympathetic
nervous system.

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e. Debrief. How do you feel now that you have taken some deep
breaths? [Wait for responses.] In most cases, students will say they
feel calmer and more relaxed. What’s different about how you look
and feel now that you have breathed deeply? If you drew a picture
of yourself now, how would it be different than the picture you drew
when you were feeling irritated? [Elicit a few students’ responses.]
Remind students that it is important to take deep breaths to calm
down so that they can think more clearly and make better choices
about how they behave.

f. Finally, let students know they should practice the 6-second
breathing exercise whenever they feel irritated, angry, frustrated,
or nervous about things. They can practice this anywhere at any
time. They can do it with their eyes open or if they are comfortable,
with them closed. They can do it with other people or quietly
by themselves.

4. Wrap up and review. Review the first three steps in the
Meta-Moment process.

Conclude the lesson by reviewing the first three steps. Then, ask stu-
dents to share what they learned in the lesson. Remind students that
the first step was to recognize what makes them feel irritated. Ask
them to describe (1) what people tend to think about when they are ir-
ritated, (2) how one’s body tends to feel when irritated, and (3) how the
face and body look (and voice tends to sound) when irritated. Finally,
remind students about the importance of deep breathing to help them
feel calm. End the lesson with one more set of breathing exercises.
(Make sure students understand that breathing in and out through the
nose for 6 seconds is a useful way to calm down).

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Introducing Meta-Moments Lesson 1 | Middle School

Optional Activity: Create a role-play where you, the teacher, demonstrate
Steps 1, 2, and 3 of the Meta-Moment process. For example, you could
ask an assistant teacher to interrupt you abruptly during a lesson by walking
across the classroom crumbling a piece of paper. This would demonstrate
your “trigger” for feeling annoyed (Step 1, Something happens). Then,
you would say something sarcastic to the assistant teacher, roll your eyes,
start breathing louder and faster, and stiffen your posture. (Step 2, Sense).
Then, you would review the scenario to demonstrate the importance
of noticing the shifts, and both stopping and breathing (Step 3, Stop)
in order to calm down and regulate your irritation effectively.

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© 2013 Emotionally Intelligent Schools, LLC C327