2020-06-01 Reader's Digest USA

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The Best FIND YOUR

STRESS PLACE
BUSTER
A Small Town’s
By DAN HARRIS
INSPIRATION
20
From the book IF YOU LIVED HERE
PAINS
A New Way to
to Never
Ignore SAY
THANK
From THEHEALTHY.COM
YOU

By GINA HAMADEY

Weird &
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Reader’s Digest

CONTENTS

FIND YOUR 64 84
HAPPY PLACE ...
inspiration health & medicine

We Moved to the 20 Pains to
“Worst Place Never Ignore
in America”
When is a twinge no big
It started out as some- deal, and when is it a
thing of a joke. We’ve warning that something
been living here for needs attention fast?
four years now—and
loving it. by jen babakhan and
tracy middleton
by chris ingraham from thehealthy.com
from the book if you
lived here you’d be 100
home by now
life well lived
kyle garrity/getty images Features 74
58 On Dad’s Trail, Forever
fascinating facts
love & kindness He taught his son how
Weird and Wonderful to ride and all the rules
My Thank-You Year Inventions on the road of life.

How writing 365 notes From a bicycle that by taylor brown from
of appreciation recon- rides on water to a garden & gun
nected the author to pillow that stops all
what’s important in life. snores, these 18 news- 106
worthy gadgets will
by gina hamadey make you smile in drama in real life
appreciation—or
utter disbelief. I Was Scammed by
My Best Friend
by andy simmons
She swindled him out of
$92,000 and forced him
into bankruptcy. But he
finally got justice.

by johnathan walton
from huffpost.com

Reader’s Digest Contents

Departments

6 Dear Reader
8 Letters

everyday heroes

10 The Serial
Samaritan

by genevieve looby

13 The TP Exchange

by rob nikolewski
and hayne palmour iv
from the san diego
union-tribune

quotable quotes

14 Octavia Spencer,
Kelly Clarkson,
Hasan Minhaj

i won!

16 The International
Cherry Pit Spitting
Championship

everyday miracles

20 A Little Life
Saved, a Big
Friend Made

by kristen warfield

On the Cover

Photograph by Yasu + Junko

A Small Town’s Inspiration ....................................

A New Way to Say Thank You................................

Weird & Wonderful Inventions ............................

The Best Stress Buster ...........................................

20 Pains to Never Ignore .......................................

2 june 2020 | rd.com

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Reader’s Digest Contents

how to Humor 116 joleen zubek (2). carol yepes/getty images (mask)

24 Find Peace 18 The Genius
Anytime, Anyplace All in a Day’s Work Section

by dan harris and 38 116 Story Time Is for
jeffrey warren with Life in These Everyone
carlye adler from United States
the book meditation by meghan cox
for fidgety skeptics 51 gurdon from
Laugh Lines the book the
we found a fix enchanted hour
52
29 Fix Spotty Wi-Fi, Laughter, the Best 120 Brain Games
and More 122 Word Power
Medicine 128 Photo Finish
13 things 99

34 The Truth About Humor in
Wildfires Uniform

by elizabeth yuko 38

the food on
your plate

41 I Am Tuna

by kate lowenstein
and daniel gritzer

news from the
world of medicine

46 Shifting Sleep
Cycles, and More

your true stories

115 Signs from Above
and an Ode to Dad

41 Send letters to [email protected] or Letters, Reader’s Digest, PO Box 6100,
Harlan, Iowa 51593-1600. Include your full name, address, e-mail, and daytime
phone number. We may edit letters and use them in all print and electronic
media. Contribute your True Stories at rd.com/stories. If we publish one in a
print edition of Reader’sDigest, we’ll pay you $100. To submit humor items, visit
rd.com/submit, or write to us at Jokes, 44 South Broadway, 7th Floor, White
Plains, NY 10601. We’ll pay you $25 for any joke or gag and $100 for any true
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inquiries at rd.com/help, or write to us at [email protected] or Reader’s
Digest, PO Box 6095, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1595.

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Reader’s Digest

DEAR READER which we arrange to “lose” hundreds matthew cohen
of wallets in plain sight and count how
Staying many get returned. Last time we did it,
Positive in 2013, Helsinki proved most honest,
but New York City scored well, with
After stocking up at the shop- 8 out of 12 wallets returned. Now my
ping center we both frequent, Connecticut town faced its own little
my friend John was half a mile wallet test with the anxiety of a pan-
up Danbury Road, at the mom-and- demic as a backdrop.
pop wine store he likes, when he
reached into his pocket to pay. Uh- On his drive home, John was feeling
oh. No wallet. bereft. This was going to be a living
nightmare. Then his cell phone rang.
The stay-at-home order had just “Is this John?” a man said.
been issued in our state, and the last
thing anyone needed was to be cut off Five minutes later, John and the
from all bank and credit cards with no man, name of Alex, met up at a local
driver’s license. You can imagine how gas station. Alex stood next to his big
John felt. tree-service truck and told John how
he’d spotted the wallet and braked to
He retraced his steps. Car. Kohl’s. a stop in the middle of busy Danbury
The Stop & Shop parking lot where Road to retrieve it. Then his son, rid-
he’d loaded everything up and ing shotgun, went to work, apparently
then wiped it down because no using teen whiz-kid savvy to suss out
way was the coronavirus getting John’s cell number from social media.
near his 80-year-old mother. Now Alex, grinning from ear to ear,
She has asthma, and he was handed John his billfold.
headed to her home to deliver
some goods. John was dumbfounded at their
determination. “Here, let me pay
But the wallet wasn’t you or something,” he said, of-
anywhere. He must
have left it on his roof fering the $20 bill from his wal-
and driven off. let. No, said Alex, he couldn’t
take money; he needed noth-
If you’ve read RD
for long, you know ing. John thanked him
the wallet test, in again, and they began
to part. Then John
had another idea.
“Hey, do you need
toilet paper?”
Alex looked sheep-
ish. “Well, my wife

6 june 2020

gregory reid ( wallet), artisteer/getty images (money) PLEASE ALLOW THIS fight back against
ISSUE TO HELP YOU a foe like this is
FIND THAT HAPPIER for each of us to
stay as positive as
PLACE, IF IT CAN. we can. Through
the Depression,
has been looking ...” he conceded. World War II, 9/11,
John handed him several rolls from and other times
his newly purchased stash. of great change, it
has been the role
“Thank you, thank you!” Alex ex- of Reader’s Digest
claimed, as if John were the hero. to help readers do
that. Please allow
I write this column at a terribly un- this issue to help you find that hap-
certain time. By the time you read it, pier, more optimistic place, if it can,
six weeks or more after the magazine with its stories of gratitude and family
has gone to press, COVID-19 may have and kindness, and of an even more re-
killed many more of my town’s resi- markable toilet paper exchange.
dents than the 12 it has so far—I can’t “The spirit of this guy,” John recalls
know. Our economy may be recover- of his exchange, shaking his head. “He
ing or in ruins—I can’t know. I can’t was just so sweet.”
know how many of us will have been And please share stories of local
brought low by this unprecedented heroes and kindness from your own
medical crisis. life. Across America, neighborhoods,
workplaces, hospitals, churches, com-
But there’s one thing I do know, munity groups, and whole towns and
with no uncertainty. The best way to cities are coming together to help
others. Our annual Nicest Places
search is a powerful way to put them
in lights. Now is when we rely on you
to go to rd.com/nicestplaces to tell the
world about them.
Just write from the heart. It’s urgent
for us all to hear positive stories, now
more than ever.

Bruce Kelley,
editor-in-chief

Write to me at [email protected].

rd.com 7

Reader’s Digest

April issue

I await each Reader’s Digest issue with the (age 12) Tulsa, Oklahoma
anticipation of a child awaiting Christmas.
Seeing the April cover was tantamount to The Food on Your Plate
getting everything one wants for Christmas.
The unsolved murders article was great. I have to tell you how
The detective work that goes into solving much I enjoy these arti-
crimes amazes me. cles by Kate Lowenstein
and Daniel Gritzer.
—Charles Dougherty Hicksville, New York They are so cleverly
written and informa-
How to Connect with Building bombing in tive. I love the recipes rd photo studio (2)
Strangers Oklahoma City 25 years too. Please pass along
ago. I wondered if my best wishes to
As I worried about young victim Joseph those two talented
starting a 14-day quar- Webber survived the people and tell them
antine (my son might bombing, so I went on to keep up the good
have been exposed to the Internet and found work. I think, next to
COVID-19), I got a big that he did indeed, and the jokes, their articles
laugh at this article. he went on to attend are my most favorite.
Thanks for always pull- university. He seems to —Kay Falerios
ing me out of my funk. have grown into a fine, Santa Margarita,
—Mary Jensen compassionate young California
Woodbury, Minnesota man. Knowing that
certainly made the Why Are Military
Heroes in the story all the more Families on
Heartland inspiring. Food Stamps?
—Marion Baldwin
Thank you for your Winfield, Illinois I was shocked, dis-
article on the Alfred mayed, even angry to
P. Murrah Federal read that we don’t pay
our soldiers enough
to live on. This is

8 june 2020

disgraceful! How can How I Know It’s Spring DELIGHTFULLY
we ask them to risk WACKY TEAM NAMES
their lives but not pay My first sign of spring
them enough to live is not the early blooms ✦ As far as funny team
decently? of the crocuses or the names go, here in Macon,
—Wayne Guthrie little snowdrops but the Georgia, we had a minor
Collierville, Tennessee beautiful bright yellow league ice hockey team
color of the forsythia named the Macon
Piece of Mind bush in full, glorious Whoopee.
bloom.
When I was supposed —C.D.M. via rd.com —Avery Oakes
to be doing my home-
work, my father and A Very Special duluth, georgia
I often worked jigsaw Tax Break
puzzles. Now my hus- ✦ My basketball team
band and I have a The story of Michael was named Tee and
puzzle in process most Evans paying an elderly Cookies (Tee was our
of the time. I’m an art- woman’s real estate coach), but it took us
ist and my husband taxes brought tears seven years to win a
is an engineer, so we to my eyes. What a game. So I don’t think
approach it quite differ- wonderful man. I wish it has to do with the
ently, but we get it there were more peo- names being offensive—
finished and have a ple like him in the our name was sweet,
good time together. world, now more than but victory eluded us
—Donnie Gene Woods ever. anyway.
Ridgecrest, California —Evelyn Mitchell
Fredericksburg, Virginia —Mrs. Markell
Raphaelson West

laurel, maryland

at a seriously creepy manor house

Select Editions, our curated reading

rd.com 9

Reader’s Digest

EVERYDAY HEROES

An imperfect man finds the perfect way to give back

The Serial
Samaritan

By Genevieve Looby

J ean-Paul “J.P.” LaPierre is no When he got sober, about two de-
stranger to long, strange trips. cades ago, LaPierre started running
When he was young, he worked as in as many marathons as he could. To
a master pastry chef, then as a real es- date, the 54-year-old storage facility
tate agent. But at age 30, he discovered manager has crossed the finish line
crack cocaine. Within months, he went 32 times. Without a doubt, his most
from living in a penthouse to sleeping recent race was the most memorable.
under a Massachusetts bridge, a bridge
that happened to be on the route of LaPierre had flown from Boston to
the Boston Marathon. LaPierre would Chicago last fall, sleeping in O’Hare
watch the runners speed past, long- Airport to save money. Early on the
ing to take part, join the throngs, pull morning of October 13, he boarded
his life together. Marathons became a the city’s Blue Line L to head to the
symbol and an inspiration—surviving Chicago Marathon. The train was full
for the long haul. of energized marathoners. LaPierre
took a seat next to a fellow runner

10 june 2020 | rd.com Photograph by Christopher Churchill

“Sometimes in life
you’re called

upon, and you’ve
got to act,” says

Jean-Paul LaPierre.

Reader’s Digest

and began chatting. Before long, The two men fought for the gun—and
LaPierre noticed a man who seemed their lives.
to be homeless moving from pas-
senger to passenger, asking for spare “You don’t move!” LaPierre
change. His demeanor struck LaPi- shouted, leaning into the armed man
erre as “really weird,” especially the with his left side. The man tried shov-
way he stared down anyone he felt ing past him, but LaPierre muscled
hadn’t given him enough. him back against the door, grabbing
the gun and handing it to a passenger,
At the Cumberland station, several who quickly walked it off the train.
stops before the one for the marathon,
most of the passengers suddenly fled But LaPierre wasn’t in the clear.
the car. LaPierre, startled, rushed out The man had accomplices who now
to see what was going on, only to hear surrounded LaPierre and began to
panicked people shouting that the threaten him. His one chance to save
himself, he believed, was to be more
“YOU DON’T MOVE!” menacing than the bad guys. Look-
LAPIERRE SHOUTED, ing the original crook in the eye, he
growled, “I’m a boxer. I’ll break your
LEANING INTO head in one punch!”
THE ARMED MAN.
“Let me go!” the man begged. Then
man asking for money was, in fact, the police swarmed the train, and
armed and robbing people. LaPierre let them take over. He had a
marathon to run.
Just then, the armed man himself
exited the train car and hopped onto This was not the first time LaPierre
the next one. LaPierre followed him. has jumped into the fray. In 2015, he
“I could not walk away knowing there helped rescue a one-year-old and his
were innocent children and people mother from a car wreck. Last sum-
just trying to get to a race,” he says. mer, he volunteered to search for a
python that went missing from a back-
The man was standing in the mid- yard cage in Newton, Massachusetts.
dle of the car when he turned and saw (He found it.) And a few years back,
LaPierre, his head down, bull-rushing he helped foil a CVS drugstore rob-
him. LaPierre plowed into the far bery. “I just happen to be at the right
larger and younger man, pinning him place at the right moment,” he says.
against the closed doors. “Once I got a
few feet from him, I knew he wouldn’t LaPierre knows there’s more to why
be able to react fast enough to shoot he’s become a serial good guy than
me,” he told the Chicago Sun-Times. that. “I’ve lived a hard life,” he says.
“But I believe change starts within
yourself. For the last 25 years, I’ve tried
to make myself into a good man.” RD

12 june 2020

Everyday Heroes

The TP
Exchange

By Rob Nikolewski and
Hayne Palmour IV

from the san diego union-tribune

hayne palmour iv/san diego union-tribune/zuma press B ack in March, when the Jonny Blue, above, said his sign made
COVID-19 virus had just started drivers ask themselves why people were
its deadly trek across the coun- hoarding toilet paper.
try and people were panicked about
shortages of just about every staple quickly, Blue handed them off in an
of daily life, Jonny Blue focused on impromptu TP stock exchange.
one particularly urgent need. Blue,
a 33-year-old physical therapist and “This guy said he just ran out and
avid surfer from Encinitas, California, was going to a bunch of stores and
saw reports of people hoarding toilet couldn’t find any,” Blue said as cars
paper. He came up with a simple yet whizzed by. “Somebody had given
brilliant solution. me some, so I gave it to him. He was
stoked. He was like, ‘Do you want me
One Saturday morning, Blue took a to pay you?’ I said, ‘No, man. Take it.’”
piece of cardboard, wrote “Share Your
Toilet Paper” on it in huge letters, A moment later, a driver in a
and camped out on the corner of El white pickup truck slowed down just
Camino Real and Encinitas Boulevard. enough to toss out a roll to add to
Blue’s burgeoning bundle.
“It just inspired me to remind peo-
ple, listen, if you have a lot of some- “People are loving it,” Blue said.
thing, that probably means there are “They’re honking, smiling, laughing.
people who don’t have very much of it It’s kind of a rough time right now.
because you took it all,” Blue said. “So People want a sense of community.” RD
sharing it is probably a good thing to
keep in mind.” san diego union-tribune (march 14, 2020),
copyright © 2020 by san diego union-tribune.
The response was immediate and reprinted by permission of zuma press,
positive, with motorists honking sandiegouniontribune.com.
horns in support. Drivers stopped
to drop off spare rolls, and, just as

rd.com 13

Reader’s Digest

QUOTABLE QUOTES

A couple that golfs together stays together.
Where else can I walk six miles and talk to my husband

for four hours without distraction?

—Norah O’Donnell, journalist

When I was younger, I had an ego. But it gets in the way.

—Anthony Hopkins, actor

A party without cake is really just a meeting.

—Julia Child, chef

They say every generation is defined by a great struggle.
Our kids will never know there was a time you had to choose

between being on the Internet or being on the phone.

—Hasan Minhaj, comedian

The world is not yours for the taking, but for the trying.
Try hard.

—Scott Galloway, entrepreneur

o’donnell hopkins child minhaj

My husband and I have both forgotten anniversaries.
He was hunting, and I was, like, asleep.

—Kelly Clarkson, singer and tv host

In a dream, Brad Pitt offered me a helicopter ride.
But it didn’t have lights, so I had to shine a flashlight.

I’m sure it means something!

—Octavia Spencer, actor

You’re never too broken to be fixed.

—Jonathan Van Ness, tv personality

POINT TO PONDER

Families are like pieces of art—you can make them from
almost anything, any kind of material. Sometimes they look like

you and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they come
from your DNA and sometimes they don’t. The only ingredient

you need to make a family is unconditional love.
—Mitch Albom, author

getty images (7)

clarkson albom spencer 15

Reader’s Digest

I WON!

The
International

CHERRY PIT
SPITTING
Championship

kevin bartz, age 53,
Edwardsburg, Michigan

So what’s your trick? some learned neuro- family interest and
One of the keys is curl- muscular factors. would practice with
ing your tongue, kind of us in the driveway on
creating a tube to shoot You sound like a high occasion. However, we
the pit out of. A lot of school biology teacher. couldn’t persuade her
it is the trajectory, too, I am a biology teacher to spit competitively in
so that when it hits the and a football coach. public with us.
ground, it rolls. My per-
sonal record is 58 feet But pit spitting might be After all these years, do
10 inches. genetic, right? You come you still like cherries?
from a family of spitters. I love cherries, but the
That’s so unfair! Not I do, and all three of my official competition
everyone can roll their children are spitters. My uses tart cherries, so
tongues, you know. daughter Chloe [shown they aren’t that good. RD
Approximately 75 per- above, with her dad],
cent of the human pop- who is in college, won The International
ulation can roll their last year. She’s been do- Cherry Pit Spitting
tongues. It is thought ing it since she was five. Championship has been
that tongue rolling is held in Eau Claire,
purely genetic, but that Did your wife approve of Michigan, every year
is most likely not the teaching the kids to spit? since 1974.
case. There are proba- She liked the shared
bly also environmental
influences as well as

16 june 2020 | rd.com illustration by John Cuneo

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All
in a Day’s

WORK

Tanned, relaxed, and “You can call me dude or keep the ponytail … pick one.”
unshaven, I landed
at the Denver airport man: Uh, no, I wasn’t. The Customer Is (NOT)
after returning from fd: I definitely know
my bucolic Caribbean you. Are you in law? Always Right
vacation. As the cus- man: No, I’m not. ✦ Customer’s child is
toms agent handed my fd: Well, I must have doing a project on
passport back to me, seen you at a confer- dinosaurs. Customer
she cheerily welcomed ence somewhere. cannot believe our
me home by declaring, Which university are bookstore doesn’t have
“Back to reality for you!” you with? a single book with
—Bruce Neal man: I don’t work at a actual photographs of
Colorado Springs, university. real dinosaurs.
Colorado fd: Well, what’s your — @Waterstones
name, at least? Picc
My friend’s dad, man: Matt Damon. ✦ While I was working
a professor, travels a —not_a_frog at a gas station, a guy
lot. Once, when return- on reddit.com asked me for a refund
ing from a conference on gas he just pumped
in Australia, he spotted
a familiar-looking man
but didn’t know where
he knew him from. So
he confronted him.
friend’s dad: You look
familiar. Were you at
the conference this
week for international
trade law?

18 june 2020 Cartoon by Mike Shapiro

Reader’s Digest

If you put away the clean laundry on the She answered angrily,
same day that you wash it, I feel like that’s “I don’t know, there
what you should lead with on your résumé. could be more.”
— @PanickedIdiot
— @abbyhasissues ✦ I watched a woman
demand that my
science photo library/getty images (bread), jeniphoto/getty images (soup) because he changed pick out toys and coworker give her a
his mind. squeak them into the haircut. I work at
— @ObscureAaron phone for him until he a bookstore.
✦ I work at a pet- heard the “right one.” — @lindseyfever
supply store. A cus- — @kristinneuman
tomer once called to ✦ When I worked at a Anything funny
set up a delivery. video store, a woman happen to you at work?
Among the items he asked if we had a copy It could be worth $$$.
wanted was a dog toy, of Three Dalmatians. For details, go to page 4
but he didn’t know To clarify, I asked, or rd.com/submit.
which one. I had to “Three Dalmatians?”

THE MILITARY-TO-ENGLISH DICTIONARY

We can thank soldiers and sailors for the words umpteen,

skedaddle, and raunchy. Here’s more military slang that

deserves widespread use in the civilian world.

Crumb catcher: Geardo: a soldier who
mouth obsesses about gear

Five-sided puzzle Gofasters: sneakers Soup sandwich:
palace: the Pentagon a situation that has gone
Ink stick: pen horribly wrong
Flight suit insert: pilot
Jesus slippers: military- Voluntold: forcibly
Football bat: an odd way issued shower footwear volunteered for an
of doing something assignment
Left-handed monkey
Fruit salad: ribbons wrench: a nonexistent —military.com
and medals worn on item recruits are tricked
a uniform into looking for

Galloping dandruff: Oxygen thief: someone
lice who talks too much

rd.com 19

Reader’s Digest

EVERYDAY MIRACLES

A Little Life Saved,
a Big Friend Made

By Kristen Warfield

W hen Mike Mushaw swabbed coach had encouraged him and his
his cheek to join the na- teammates to register.
tional bone marrow registry
nearly three years ago, he never really “The odds are you’re just going to
gave it a second thought. After all, he sign up and probably be in it for the
did it only because his college football rest of your life,” Mushaw, a student at
Central Connecticut State University,

20 june 2020 Illustration by Gel Jamlang

told NBC. “You probably won’t get from the transplant, enough to live
a call.” a more normal life. Instead, after a
few weeks, the doctors at Children’s
About six months after the sign-up, National Hospital in Washington,
he did get a call. The now 21-year-old DC, came back with shocking news:
linebacker’s bone marrow matched Eleanor’s condition hadn’t just
a patient in Virginia. Mushaw had to improved—Mushaw’s bone marrow
decide whether to go all in. It would had cured her.
mean spending a night in the hospi-
tal and undergoing general anesthe- “She’s doing amazing,” Mushaw
sia, which carries some risk. And he’d says. “Better than they ever expected
likely never know whether his dona- her to be. It was a little surprising just
tion worked. because of how serious her condition
was, but it was more of a relief and
“Right away I said yes,” Mushaw happy feeling than anything.”
told WTNH. “Once they took 17 vials
of blood, I was like, ‘All right, this is “WHEN THEY TOLD
real. This is going to happen.’” ME IT WAS A LITTLE

Mushaw didn’t know it at the GIRL, I GOT A
time, but his donation would go to a LITTLE CHOKED UP.”
five-month-old girl named Eleanor
who was sick with a rare immuno- Mushaw didn’t know any of this
deficiency disease that was diagnosed until months after his donation. In
when she was only three months old. most cases, the donor and recipient
Eleanor had rarely left her house remain anonymous to each other. But
other than to travel to the hospital or about six months after the procedure,
the doctor. Her immune system was Eleanor’s parents sent him an e-mail
far too weak to risk even the most ca- to thank him for saving her life.
sual human contact. As the days and
weeks passed, her condition had be- “When they told me it was a little
come only more dire. girl, I got a little choked up,” Mushaw
says. “Just to hear that someone so
“Eleanor was going to die without a young has the odds stacked against
bone marrow transplant,” her mother, her and her only hope is in your bone
Jessica, told NBC. “The options were marrow is a heavy feeling.”
to either get a transplant or face fatal-
ity in toddlerhood.” (The family has But their surprising connec-
chosen to withhold its surname to tion was only beginning. Mushaw
maintain privacy.) asked whether he and Eleanor could
FaceTime regularly so he could check
Still, there was no guarantee of suc-
cess. Eleanor’s family had hoped that
she would have some improvement

rd.com 21

Reader’s Digest Everyday Miracles

on her progress. “It was amazing to around and jumped for joy with her
watch her and be a part of her life,” parents, pointing at the field as she
he says. “It felt amazing and surreal watched Mushaw play.
to see it all, just knowing her situa-
tion. Now she’s a perfect, normal little “They sent me a picture during the
two-year-old.” game when she was watching and
pointing to me,” Mushaw says. “After-
Eleanor kept tabs on him, too, by ward, when I saw my phone, I just
watching his football games on TV. In couldn’t stop smiling at the picture. I
August, about a year after Eleanor’s set it as my background.”
life-changing transplant, Mushaw
invited her family to drive from Vir- He wasn’t the only one smiling.
ginia to Connecticut to meet at one “I had waited by that point well over
of his games. From the stands one a year to finally give a hug to this guy
weekend in November, little Eleanor who saved my daughter’s life,” Jessica
stood dressed in a royal blue jersey says. “We felt like we were on cloud
with Mushaw’s number printed on the nine all weekend getting to spend
back. On the front of her jersey was time with him and have him be with
“Be the Match,” the name of the orga- Eleanor. I don’t think I’ve ever smiled
nization that facilitated the donation. that much.”

Mushaw himself, by then a senior, In January, Mushaw reunited with
was wearing his own special symbol Eleanor, this time in Virginia, to cele-
that day: a pair of cleats with Eleanor’s brate her birthday. It will likely be the
name printed on them. first of many celebrations together. “As
a parent, it feels really great to watch
Tiny shouts of “Mike! Mike!” could someone love your kid as much as you
be heard from the stands as the little do,” Jessica says. “We were two com-
girl cheered on her very own hero: a plete strangers, and now we’ve be-
six-foot-two, 225-pound linebacker come such a big part of each other’s
with a very generous heart. She ran lives.” RD

Mis-Nomenclature

The funny bone isn’t a bone; it’s a nerve.
Catgut isn’t made from cats; it’s made from sheep.
French fries were invented not in France but in Belgium.

Koala bears aren’t bears; they’re marsupials.
A ten-gallon hat holds only about three quarts of liquid.

22 june 2020 | rd.com

GOOD NUTRIENTS.
GREAT TASTE.

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you an optimal mix of nutrients for everyday health.

MUSCLE HEALTH

Protein

IMMUNE HEALTH

Antioxidants*

BONE HEALTH

Calcium & Vitamin D

HEART HEALTH

Omega-3 ALA

27

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* Vitamins C & E and selenium.

©2020 Abbott 20203129/February 2020 LITHO IN USA

HOW TO peter dazeley/getty images (chair), weeraya siankulpatanakij/getty images (sign)

Find Peace

Anytime, Anyplace

Meditation is simpler than it sounds. Follow these
directions from a skeptic who tried and liked it.

By Dan Harris and Jeffrey Warren with Carlye Adler

from the book meditation for fidgety skeptics

24 june 2020

Reader’s Digest

I f you had told me as recently as a and anxiety. Studies also show medi-
few years ago that I would someday tation can reduce violence in prisons,
become a traveling evangelist for increase productivity in the work-
meditation, I would have coughed my place, and improve both the behavior
beer up through my nose. and the grades of schoolchildren.

In 2004, I had a panic attack at Things really get interesting when
work. Unfortunately for me, that you look at the neuroscience. In re-
meant in front of millions of people, cent years, researchers have been
as I was delivering the news, live, on peering into the heads of meditators,
ABC’s Good Morning America. In the and they’ve found that the practice can
wake of my nationally televised freak- rewire key parts of the brain involved
out, I learned that I had undiagnosed with self-awareness, compassion, and
depression. For months, I’d been hav- resilience. One study from the Harvard
ing trouble getting out of bed in the Gazette found that just eight weeks of
morning and felt as if I had a perma- meditation resulted in measurable de-
nent low-grade fever. creases in gray matter density in the
area of the brain associated with stress.
The panic attack ultimately led
me to embrace a practice I had al- The second thing that changed
ways dismissed as ridiculous. For my mind about meditation is that it
most of my life, to the extent that I’d does not necessarily entail a lot of the
ever even considered meditation, I “weird” stuff I feared it might. Contrary
ranked it right alongside aura read- to popular belief, meditation does not
ings and Enya. Further, I figured my have to involve folding yourself into
racing type A mind was way too busy a pretzel, joining a group, or wearing
to ever be able to commune with special outfits. The word meditation is
the cosmos. And anyway, if I got too a little bit like the word sports; there
happy, it would probably render me are hundreds of varieties. The type of
completely ineffective at my hyper- meditation discussed here is called
competitive job. mindfulness meditation, which is
derived from Buddhism but does not
Two things changed my mind. The require adopting a belief system or de-
first was the science. In recent years, claring oneself to be a Buddhist.
there has been an explosion of re-
search into meditation, which has I began my practice slowly, with
been shown to reduce blood pres- just five to ten minutes a day, which
sure, boost recovery after your body is what I recommend everyone aim
releases the stress hormone cortisol, for at the start. (Frankly, if you find
strengthen the immune system, slow time for even one minute a day, you
age-related atrophy of the brain, and can count that as a win.)
mitigate the symptoms of depression
The practice does get easier the

rd.com 25

Reader’s Digest

longer you keep at it, but even after Bring your full attention to the feel- peter dazeley/getty images (chair), weeraya siankulpatanakij/getty images (sign)
doing it for years, I get lost all the time.
Here’s a random sample of my mental ing of your breath coming in and out.
chatter during a typical session: Pick a spot where it’s most prominent:
your chest, your belly, or your nostrils.
In. You’re not thinking about your breath;
Out. you’re just feeling the physical sensa-
Man, I am feeling antsy. What’s the tions. To help maintain focus, make a
Yiddish term my grandmother used to quiet mental note on each in breath
use for that? Shpilkes. Right. and out breath, like “in” and “out.”
Words that always make me giggle:
ointment, pianist. Every time you catch yourself wan-
Wait, what? Come on, man. Back to
the breath. dering, escort your attention back to
In. the breath. This third step is the key.
Out. As soon as you try to focus on your
Likes: baked goods. breath, you’ll start having all sorts of
Dislikes: fedoras, dream sequences, random thoughts, such as: What’s for
that part in techno songs where the lunch? Do I need a haircut? What was
French accordion kicks in. Casper the Friendly Ghost before he
Dude. Come. On. died? Who was the Susan after whom
In. they named the lazy Susan, and how
Out. did she feel about it? This is totally nor-
In. mal. The whole game is to notice when
Alternative jobs: papal nuncio, in- you’re distracted and begin again. And
terpretive dancer, working double time again. And again. It is like a biceps curl
on the seduction line ... for the brain. It is also a radical act:
You get the idea.
To give you a sense of exactly how
simple it is, here are the three-step

Sit comfortably.

floor, go for it. If not, just sit in a chair,
as I do. You can close your eyes or, if
you prefer, leave them open and ad-
just your gaze to a neutral point on the
ground.

26 june 2020 | rd.com

How to Find Peace Anytime, Anyplace

WHEN YOU’RE READY TO TAKE IT FURTHER

✦ Count your breaths any of the innumerable ✦ Give guided audio
from one to ten, and ways the mind can cook meditations a shot.
then start over. Breathe up that anything else Some people wrongly
in, one, then out. is supposed to be assume that guided
Breathe in, two, then happening—“just this meditations are a form of
out, and so on. breath.” training wheels—or
✦ Some people like to ✦ Recruit an image. cheating. I disagree. In-
recite a short phrase to Sometimes I imagine structions are quickly
help them stay focused. the in breath as a gentle forgotten. Having some-
“Just this breath” is a wave moving up the one in your ear can be
good one. It reminds us beach, pshhhh, and on really helpful. My advice
not to start anticipating the out breath, the wave is to experiment with
the next breath, or to recedes, sssssshh. Back both audio and solo
think about the last and forth. Find an im- meditations and see
one, or to imagine in age that works for you. what works best.

You’re breaking a lifetime’s habit of head, the more you can make room
walking around in a fog of rumination
and projection, and focusing on what’s for entirely new thoughts and feelings
happening right now.
to emerge. It has enabled me to take
People assume they can never med-
itate because they can’t stop thinking. even more delight in my work, my
I cannot say this enough: The goal is
not to clear your mind but to focus wife, and our son, Alexander, who
your mind—for a few nanoseconds at
a time—and whenever you become suffuses me with warmth whether
distracted, just start again. Getting
lost and starting over is not failing at he’s offering me a chicken nugget
meditation. It is succeeding.
or wiping macerated muffin on my
I have been mediating for eight
years, and I am still plenty ambitious. sleeve. I am less in thrall to my de-
However, these days I’m not as sweaty,
agitated, and unpleasant about it as I sires and aversions, which has given
used to be. Meditation has helped me
sort out my useless rumination from me a wider perspective and, at times,
what I call constructive anguish.
a taste of a deep, ineffable unclench-
I have learned that the less en-
chanted you are by the voice in your ing. In sum, meditation empowers

you to tap into what lies beneath or

beyond the ego. Call it creativity.

ljupco/getty images Call it your innate wis-

dom. Some people call it STEP 3
You’re
your heart. Ew. RD done!

adapted from the book meditation

for fidgety skeptics by dan harris

and jeffrey warren with carlye adler,

published by spiegel & grau, an

imprint of penguin random house

llc. copyright © 2017 by dan harris.

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magone/getty images WE Reader’s Digest
FOUND rd.com | june 2020 29
A FIX

9 Tricks to
Improve Your Life*

1

Give Broth to
Your Thirsty Pet
pets Some dogs
and cats are too
stubborn for their
own good. If
yours won’t stay
hydrated, coax
her to the water
bowl by adding
a teaspoon of
low-sodium
chicken or bone
broth. Just be
sure it’s free
of onions and
garlic, and
change the
water daily.

*From RD.com and thehealthy.com

Reader’s Digest We Found a Fix

2 4

Best Bleach Where Else Cleanliness Can Pay
Practices
money You can save the cost of replacing a burned-out
home Many of us recently hair dryer by vacuuming the dust regularly from the
rediscovered the versa- back vent. Over time, dust collects there and clogs it,
tility of this old-time which in turn makes the motor work harder. That can
disinfectant but might cause the blow-dryer to burn out faster.
need a refresher on some
basic dos and don’ts. 5
Do dilute bleach with
water before cleaning Fix Spotty Wi-Fi Signals
with it, but don’t keep technology Electronic devices such as
your solution in a plastic radios, televisions, and even computer
bottle for more than a
few days. The bleach can
degrade some contain-
ers, and it can lose its
potency when exposed
to light. If your solution
has no bleach “smell,”

it’s time to toss it.

3 tetra images/getty images

Clean Bugs Off
Your Car

auto In the heat of
summer, dead bugs can
get stuck to a car’s paint
job. Wax such as Rain-X
will help keep those little
pests from sticking.
For those that hold on,
try wiping them off with
a fabric softener sheet
dipped in water.

30 june 2020 | rd.com

Having a plan, no matter what your plans are.
That’s the Benefit of Blue.SM

Discover Medicare options
that fit your budget and lifestyle.

BenefitOfBlue.com

Blue Cross Blue Shield Companies are independent licensees of the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association

Reader’s Digest We Found a Fix

6 8 marilyna/getty images

Stop Your Garbage Chop Onions
from Stinking Up Without Tearing Up
the House
home Summer heat cooking You may have
can sometimes cause seen Sunions in Costco,
garbage cans to Whole Foods, or Price
give off an Chopper and wondered,
unpleasant What are those? They
odor. Reader are a new onion cross-
Michael breed designed to
Sienkowski virtually eliminate the
of Norwich, standard onion’s tear-
Connecticut, jerking ability. The good
has a sugges- news is they are not
tion: “If you grow genetically modified.
mint, cut a fresh sprig But there is one potential
and place it in the garbage drawback: Some culinary
can every day. It keeps experts say that Sunions
the can smelling fresh all taste sweeter and
season long.” milder than traditional
yellow onions.
7
9
Relieve an Eyestrain Headache
Need a New TV?
health Try some acupressure on a pressure point Now’s the Best
known as Yu Yao. Using the tips of your fingers, press Time to Buy
the middle of each eyebrow for a minute, then release.
This can also help alleviate the tension that builds up money If you’ve been
from blocked sinuses. waiting to buy a new
TV, now is the time.
Early March through
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lots of closeouts on the
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32 june 2020 | rd.com

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Reader’s Digest

13 THINGS

The Truth About
Wildfires

By Elizabeth Yuko

1 It may seem as wildfires have occurred 4 Preventing for-
if wildfires have in the past ten years. est fires (which,
multiplied in recent The 2018 Camp Fire, like bushfires, are
years, but that’s not the which claimed 85 lives a subset of wildfires)
case. Since 2000, there in Northern California, first became a large-
have been on average was the deadliest in a scale concern after
72,400 fires annually, century. the attack on Pearl
according to the U.S. Harbor, as people wor-
Forest Service. Last year 3 Combating ried that our World
saw 49,786 fires. In 2018, large-scale fires War II enemies would
there were 55,911. could prove more target the mainland.
challenging than ever The Forest Service
2 The real problem this year. To help teams enlisted an ingenious
is the intensity of of firefighters access not-so-secret agent:
the blazes. In 2015, a blaze quickly, they Smokey Bear. The
for the first time, fires often live together in Smokey Bear Wildfire
burned more than “fire camps.” But health Prevention campaign is
ten million acres na- officials fear that if still on the job; in fact,
tionwide. It happened the COVID-19 virus it’s the longest-running
again in 2017. In persists, that kind of public service advertis-
California, eight of communal living will ing campaign in Ameri-
the state’s 20 worst be dangerous. can history.

34 june 2020 Illustration by Serge Bloch

5 The worst of wildfires is lightning. explosive substance
wildfire in terms According to the Natu- called Tannerite. The
of lives lost was ral History Museum of explosion was rigged
the 1871 Peshtigo Fire Utah, lightning strikes to produce the appro-
in Wisconsin, in which the earth more than priately colored cloud
at least 1,200 people 100,000 times a day. of smoke: pink or blue.
died. Never heard of it? Anywhere from 10 to Instead, it touched off
Perhaps that’s because 20 percent of those a fire that ultimately
it was overshadowed by strikes cause fires. burned 47,000 acres of
another terrible blaze the forest.
that happened the 7 One of the most
same night: the Great bizarre human- 8One of the many
Chicago Fire. sourced wildfires challenges of
occurred in Arizona’s dealing with wild-
6 Humans still Coronado National For- fires is that they can
cause more than est, in 2017. It wasn’t overtake even a very
four out of five a camping bonfire that fast human. According
wildfires, through care- got out of control; it to National Geographic,
lessly tossed cigarettes, was a gender-reveal the fires can travel up
poorly extinguished party, CNN reported. to 14 miles per hour, or
campfires, and arson. A man shot a rifle at about one mile every
Another major sparker a target laced with an four minutes.

rd.com 35

Reader’s Digest 13 Things

9 Unlike people, and completing 40 sit- wildfire created up-
wildfires move ups in a minute. drafts and eddies that
uphill much more changed the wind pat-
quickly than downhill. 11Wildfires also terns more than a mile
Fire needs air to burn, burn money. In away. The blaze also
and a steep hill allows 1991, the Forest caused the formation of
more air to come from Service spent 13 per- dense clouds called
below the blaze than cent of its budget on pyrocumulus clouds.
from above it, which in “wildfire suppression.”
turn encourages the fire By 2025, fires will eat 13 Beetles of
to climb. up two thirds of the the genus
agency’s money, at Melanophila
10 It’s no won- an estimated cost of are actually attracted
der, then, $1.8 billion. to fires—they’re some-
that to join times called fire chasers.
a “hotshot” crew— 12 If a wildfire They prefer to lay their
a specially trained gets large eggs in freshly burned
team that travels to the enough, it can (or still-smoldering)
most dangerous fires— actually affect the local wood, according to the
firefighters have to meet weather. Researchers American Museum of
certain physical re- who studied the July Natural History. It turns
quirements. These in- 2014 El Portal Fire in out their eggs are safer
clude running 1.5 miles Yosemite National from predators in a just-
in 10.6 minutes or less Park learned that the burned landscape. RD

Working-from-Home Haiku

Cherry blossoms fall
And gently float downriver

On my screen saver.

Is it Thursday? Or
Is it Friday? I don’t know.

Everything’s a blur.

Got a midday snack.
It’s not fruit or healthy food.

HoHos are my shame.

john tomkiw

36 june 2020 | rd.com





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LIFE

in these
United States

I was perusing the “I think we’re named after computer passwords.”
shelves at a bookstore
when a customer asked
an employee where
the birding section was.
After pointing it out,
the employee asked, “Is
there anything specific
you’re looking for?”

“Yes,” said the cus-
tomer. “My husband.”
—A.H. via rd.com

Our fourth grader “Jesus would heal him He shrugged. kaamran hafeez/the cartoon bank
so he could carry his “I don’t remember the
celebrated his birthday own cupcakes.” name of the group.”
on crutches, so he —Rachel Nichols —Wade Hampton
couldn’t carry the Richmond, Missouri Martinsburg,
cupcakes into school West Virginia
without help. I asked I had a chance encoun-
our sixth grader, Noah, ter with a pastor My 85-year-old
to help his brother who told me about a grandfather was
carry them in. wonderful event held rushed to the hospital
at his church. “We with a possible con-
“I could,” he said, had a singing group cussion. The doctor
“but I’d prefer not to.” the other day that per- asked him a series of
formed without instru- questions:
Spotting a teaching ments,” he said.
moment, my husband “Do you know where
asked Noah, “What “A cappella?” I asked. you are?”
would Jesus do?”

Noah answered,

38 june 2020

Reader’s Digest

carol yepes/getty images “I’m at Rex Hospital.” I would prefer that the sun die
“What city are you forever than apply sunscreen to
in?” my children one more time.
“Raleigh.”
“Do you know who I — @robcorddry
am?”
“Dr. Hamilton.” LAUGHTER IS
My grandfather then GOOD MEDICINE!
turned to the nurse
and said, “I hope he More proof that
doesn’t ask me any sometimes people
more questions.” need a bit of humor
“Why?” she asked. to get through the
“Because all of those tough stuff:
answers were on his
badge.” ✦ Somehow reassuring in the midst of coronavirus
—Webb Smith shopping frenzy to know that people still have
Marietta, Georgia the sense not to buy chocolate hummus and buffalo
hummus.
Concerned that he — @noahgo
might have put on
a few pounds, my ✦ CDC: To prevent coronavirus, stay home, avoid
husband exited the physical contact, and don’t go into large crowds.
bathroom and asked, Introverts: I’ve been preparing for this moment my
“Do you think my chin entire life.
is getting fat?” — @CrowsFault

I smiled lovingly and ✦ Prediction: There will be a minor baby boom in
replied, “Which one?” nine months and one day in 2033, we shall witness
—Julie Echelmeier the rise of the QUARANTEENS.
Corder, Missouri —mustbethedragon on imgur.com

Got a funny story ✦ Due to local cases of #COVID-19, the Puyallup
about friends or (Washington) Police Department is asking all
family? It could be criminal activities and nefarious behavior to
worth $$$. For details, cease. We appreciate your cooperation in halting
go to rd.com/submit. crime & thank the criminals in advance. We will
let you know when you can resume your normal
behavior. Until then #washyourhands.
— @PuyallupPD

rd.com 39



Photographs by Joleen Zubek Reader’s Digest

the

FOOD
ON YOUR
PLATE

I Am Tuna ...

Actually, King
of the Sea

By Kate Lowenstein
and Daniel Gritzer

Y ou may think of me as palat-
able and bland, the sight of me
packed into cans reminiscent
of school lunches and childhood pic-
nics. But here’s what they don’t tell
the kids: There’s very little that’s tame
about me. One of the ocean’s fastest
fish, I can grow to be 1,500 pounds
of pure muscle. I fetch millions at
Japanese fish markets. Forget the
“chicken of the sea” pabulum. I am
the Schwarzenegger of the sea, super-
lative and dominant.

Consider my body: My slick skin
defines hydrodynamic elegance, my
half-moon-shaped tail resembles a
dragster’s, and my dorsal fin collapses
into a pocket on my back just like the

rd.com | june 2020 41

Reader’s Digest

door handles on a Tesla. Given what FOR GREAT NEW YORK
a baller this all makes me, it should DELI–STYLE TUNA SALAD
come as no surprise that I’m hon-
ored in cave paintings dating back In a medium mixing bowl, very finely
to 3000  BC. Phoenician coins from flake 2 drained 5-ounce cans tuna
2000 BC feature Hercules on one side (water-packed is fine) using a fork.
and me on the other. Five years ago, Mix in 1 cup mayonnaise, ½ cup minced
modern Navy scientists pinpointed white onion, ½ cup minced celery,
just how perfectly evolved I am for 3 tablespoons minced fresh dill, and
efficient speed: They modeled their ¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons sweet
new underwater spy drone, the relish or dill pickle relish (or a combo!).
GhostSwimmer, on me. Maybe it’s Season with salt and pepper. Makes
time they renamed their vaunted enough for at least 4 sandwiches.
SEALs the TUNAs.
variety, easier to catch and can in bulk
OK, you’re wondering how I can be and thus accounting for $18 billion of
both such a ho-hum part of everyday the $42 billion worth of me that gets
life and so high-rolling. How is it that sold hither and thither each year.
a can of me costs a dollar while the
same little puck-size quantity of my No matter the species, I’m always
raw meat could go for $100 in a dif- lean and mean, with meat very high
ferent context? in protein and low in fat. That leaves
human diners with two ways to go:
I’ll tell you how. The fish you collo- You can eat me raw or almost so, with
quially call tuna is actually seven spe- edges seared and the inside still red,
cies of fish. Bluefin is the largest, as or you can cook me through and ac-
long as a BMW sedan and at the top of cept that I’ll dry out quickly. Ameri-
the food chain. (A single bluefin sold cans in particular have devoured me
for $3 million last year.) Along with in the driest possible way: super-
the only slightly less prized bigeye heated into shelf-stable cans. Until
and yellowfin species (the ahi steak the ’90s, you ate more and more of
popular in poke bowls and at the fish- me every decade for 50 straight years!
monger’s), it is one of the three sushi-
worthy tunas.

On the other end of the spectrum
is the smaller albacore tuna, plus my
stepbrother, skipjack. Biologically
speaking, skipjack is in a different cat-
egory of tuna from the others, if you
look solely at the evolutionary tree. But
commercially it’s my most important

42 june 2020

The Food on Your Plate

It’s true that I can be delicious “ventresca,” is silkiest of all. But if
canned, provided you don’t go light mayo is going to be involved, none of
on the mayo—or, for a more heart- that matters much. Mix me with on-
healthy and deliciously fatty tuna ions, celery, capers, and the like (some
salad, the olive oil. In terms of taste, of you add halved grapes for a sweet
any old can from the supermarket will crunch), and you have a flavorful,
do, whether skipjack (“light”), alba- high-protein filling for your sandwich.
core (“white”), or yellowfin.
When you do splurge on my high-
If you want to do right by the ocean, end versions, either as sushi or by
however, opt for troll-caught or pole- ordering that rosy-red ahi steak at
and-line-caught tuna. These “one fish, your local fish joint, keep a few things
one hook” methods nab me without in mind. Take a pause on eating my
nearly as much bycatch. Longlines bluefin brothers for a while, because
and purse seines, or huge nets, often they are in deep trouble. In the north-
wipe out entire schools, including ern Pacific and in the Southern Hemi-
tuna too young to have had a chance sphere, the current populations are
to reproduce. And lately there’s re- estimated to be only 3 to 4 percent of
newed concern about mercury levels what they were before you overfished
in my meat (including in my steaks). us. If all you humans made that one
For the record, since cans of “chunk sacrifice, we could recover pretty
white” and “solid white” albacore have quickly. Don’t forget that getting rid
nearly three times as much mercury of an apex predator like me has grim
as canned “light” skipjack, it’s rec- repercussions all the way down the
ommended that young children and food chain. RD
women of childbearing age dine on me
in that form no more than once a week. Kate Lowenstein is a health editor
currently at Vice; Daniel Gritzer is
My tinned meat will be more fla- the culinary director of the cooking
vorful and less chalky if packed in oil, site Serious Eats.
while my belly meat, in cans labeled

What’re the Odds ...

… of finding a four-leaf clover? One in 10,000.

… of seeing a black cat? One in three. According to the ASPCA,
33 percent of cats taken in by shelters are black.

… that Friday will fall on the 13th? On average,
a Friday the 13th occurs once every 212.35 days.

rd.com 43

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