2020-06-01 Reader's Digest USA

BACK PAIN HERNIATED
DISK
Dehydration, stress, Herniated disks
inactivity, a poor are twice as
diet, or the wrong common in men
wardrobe (high as in women.
heels or too-tight
outfits) could be
to blame for back-
aches. If your back
hurts when you first
get out of bed in the
morning, the pain
may be from osteo-
arthritis. Pain in
the lower and upper
back, on your side,
or in your groin can
be a sign of a uri-
nary tract infection
that has spread to
the kidneys. A her-
niated disk can hit
the nerves in your
spinal cord, caus-
ing pain.

CHEST PAIN when you take a deep breath, you may
have costochondritis.
Chest pain can be a
scary red flag for a FATIGUE
heart attack—and you should call 911 You might blame your exhaustion
if you think you’re in cardiac arrest on an insanely busy schedule or just
or if you also experience shortness feeling lazier than usual. But anemia,
of breath, cold sweats, nausea, light- depression, diabetes, heart disease,
headedness, overwhelming fatigue, and sleep apnea are other possible
and/or a feeling of doom. But those causes.
pangs in your chest could also be a
sign of anemia, shingles, pancreati-
tis, a stomach ulcer, a panic attack,
or lung cancer. If the pain gets worse

96 june 2020

Health & Medicine Reader’s Digest

FEVER women. If your nausea is accompa-
nied by pain in the upper right side
A body temperature of 100.4 degrees F of the abdomen, you may have had a
or above is normally a sign that your gallbladder attack. If you have back
immune system is working to fight pain and a fever along with nausea,
off an infection, such as strep throat, chances are a urinary tract infection
influenza, or COVID-19. But if you also has morphed into a full-blown kidney
have abdominal pain, you might have infection. Stomach ulcers and pan-
appendicitis; tenderness and swell- creatic cancer can also cause nausea.
ing in your legs, deep vein thrombo-
sis; skin that is red and painful to the RASH OR HIVES
touch, cellulitis; a cough or shortness An intensely itchy, blistering rash can
of breath, pneumonia; or bloody urine signal celiac disease, while dark skin
or pain when you urinate, a urinary patches called acanthosis nigricans
tract infection. are often a sign of diabetes. A red, an-
gry rash can be a symptom of leuke-
HEARING PROBLEMS mia. A painful rash that appears in a
strip on one side of the face or body is
If you didn’t spend last night at a characteristic of shingles. And if
rock concert and your ears are sore, you’ve recently been hiking, you may
it could be an ear infection, referred have Lyme disease or Rocky Moun-
pain from an infection in your teeth tain spotted fever.
or jaw, or temporomandibular joint
(TMJ) syndrome. If you’re experienc- ACNE
ing hearing loss on one side or a con- Although most acne can be attrib-
stant ringing sensation (tinnitus), you uted to clogged pores or fluctuating
might have a tumor in the temporal hormones, blemishes can also indi-
lobe, the part of the brain responsible cate leaky gut syndrome, polycystic
for processing sounds and language. ovary syndrome (PCOS), or stress.
Some diuretics for heart disease,
chemotherapies, and antibiotics can BREAST PAIN
damage your ears, as can type 1 and “The vast majority of women who
type 2 diabetes. come in with breast pain do not have
cancer,” says Diana Ramos, MD, co-
NAUSEA AND VOMITING chair of the National Preconception
Health and Health Care Initiative.
Feeling queasy is often a side effect Other culprits could be pregnancy or
of motion sickness, pregnancy, or an infection. Men who feel breast pain
gastroenteritis. But heart attack might have testicular cancer.
symptoms can also mimic stomach
problems such as nausea, vomiting,
or overall GI upset—especially in

rd.com 97

Reader’s Digest

CONSTIPATION AND
DIARRHEA

Going to the bathroom too

much—or too little—can be a

sign of celiac disease, Crohn’s

disease, irritable bowel syn-

drome (IBS), leaky gut syn-

drome, depression, or too much

protein. If constipation becomes

severe and persistent, it could

indicate colorectal cancer. Con- KIDNEY
stipation or diarrhea accompa- DISEASE
nied by bloating or needing to In one study,
urinate often might mean ovar-
36 percent of patients

ian cancer. NSAID pain relievers, with chronic kidney

magnesium-containing ant- disease had half-white,

acids, and proton pump inhibi- half-brown nails.

tors can cause the runs, while

narcotics, diuretics, iron supple-

ments, and antacids can stop you up. can signal that you’re not making

enough stomach acid.

NAIL PROBLEMS

When your nail bed is concave, or VISION AND OTHER EYE PROBLEMS

spoon-shaped, you have a condi- Blurred vision that worsens over time

tion known as koilonychia, which is may be cataracts or glaucoma. Bleed-

usually caused by anemia. Suddenly ing in the retina may signal diabetes.

swollen skin near the cuticles with Antihistamines, sleeping pills, anti-

nails that are bulbous can be a sign of anxiety pills, and some pain reliev-

lung disease. Tiny little dents along ers cause eye dryness and redness by

the surface of the nail are associated reducing tear secretion. And cancers

with psoriasis or alopecia areata. that start in the brain or spinal cord

Nails that are white with a pink or can affect vision, while those that start

brown band at the tip are associated in the pancreas can cause jaundice—

with kidney, liver, or heart prob- yellowing of the whites of the eyes. RD

lems. Melanoma can appear under

your nails as a black spot on the nail With additional reporting by Charlotte

bed or a dark-colored line. Brittle nails Hilton Andersen, Alyssa Jung,

that peel or split can be caused by an Marissa Laliberte, Karyn Repinski,

underactive thyroid. Ridges in nails Jenn Sinrich, and Lindsay Tigar

98 june 2020

Reader’s Digest

“It’s the officer’s foxhole.”

Humor in “Without a letter of mine losing it over
from public affairs, the railing alongside
UNIFORM we’ll have to take your several other soldiers.
camera.”
Anyone wanting to “I never knew
take pictures on our I did the only thing you had such a weak
base’s airfield needs a I could do: I pulled a stomach,” I said.
letter from public notepad and pen from
affairs, which happens my bag and wrote a “It’s not weak,” he
to be me. One day, letter giving myself per- replied. “I’m throwing
while out snapping mission to take photos. up just as far as the
photos, I was stopped The MPs read the letter, rest of these guys.”
by the military police, saluted, and left. —George Mahathy
who asked for my let- —Joe Macri Franklin, Tennessee
ter from public affairs. Winchester, Virginia
Your funny military
“But I am public Aboard a troop carrier story could be worth
affairs,” I said. crossing the Atlantic, $$$. For details, go to
I noticed a seasick pal rd.com/submit.

Cartoon by Bill Thomas rd.com 99

LIFE WELL LIVED

On
Dad’s
Trail,
Forever

He taught me
how to ride and all the

rules of the road

By Taylor Brown

from garden & gun

G rowing up in St. Peters-
burg, Florida, my dad
had a paper route on
his bicycle and then
his scooter—perhaps discover-
ing then his love of two wheels.
I picture him as a teenager on
his Vespa, sky blue with bloody
clouds of rust, crackling and

100 june 2020

Reader’s Digest

illustrations by Armando Veve rd.com 101

Reader’s Digest

smoking across the bridges of Pinellas and we were on country roads south
County. The evening papers, hot from of the Florida line. When we stopped
the press, are rolled like warm loaves for gas, I pulled up next to him, overly
in his leather satchel. His taillight is a excited, and my foot slipped in a patch
red ruby in the falling darkness. of gravel. Almost in slow motion, I
dropped the bike, 600 pounds of Mil-
Fifty-six years later, in the fall of waukee iron. I could see the pain and
2017, I left my home in Wilmington, frustration in his face. But instead of
North Carolina, on Blitzen, my 1989 lashing out, he gritted his teeth and
Harley-Davidson Sportster—a bike my brought his emotions to heel, even
dad and I had built together—bound
for New Orleans. My route would take FOR ME, THERE’S
me down the old coastal highway, NOTHING AS
U.S. 17, stopping overnight at my par- THERAPEUTIC
ents’ house south of Savannah, where
I grew up, before heading across the AS A LONG RIDE.
Gulf Coast to New Orleans. My longest
solo ride yet. as he thumbed the new dents and
scratches in his once-perfect machine.
I wasn’t even out of town before the
bike gave me trouble, a slight misfire. I “Happens to the best of us,” he
called my old man. We usually spoke told me. True, everyone who rides a
a few times a week. I’d been riding motorcycle will drop one sooner or
on the back of his Harley since I was later. Still, how easy to forget in the
in grade school. When I was in my heat of the moment. Rick Brown—my
teens, we’d hunted the back roads of dad—didn’t. I believe that’s one of the
South Georgia for places to ride our great lessons I learned from him: that
dirt bikes. Now, with me in my thir- character often requires us to place
ties, we were becoming closer friends what is right over what is easy.
than we’d ever been. We’d worked
side by side on Blitzen with hardly a Back in Wilmington, after a few
tiff—no small feat when wrenching minutes on the phone, we decided
on a 30-year-old motorcycle. What’s that Blitzen’s misfire was only a fleck
more, we’d begun to share a love of of rust or debris that made it through
riding like never before. I still remem- the fuel filter—the engine was throb-
ber the knowing light in his eyes when bing low and steady now, like a me-
I described the feeling of my first long chanical heart.
solo ride.
I hit the road.
I’ll never forget the first time he let On rides like these, I always avoid
me ride his prized 90th Anniversary the interstates, just as he taught me.
Harley-Davidson Wide Glide. I was 16,

102 june 2020

Life Well Lived

There’s so much more to see on the marshes and blackwater rivers, bound
back roads and byways. The roadside for Georgia. My old man met me in
produce stands and junk shops, the downtown Savannah. We ate lunch
Pentecostal churches and mom-and- and went to a bookstore and sat at one
pop restaurants and gas stations that of the hotel bars high over the water,
serve coffee in tiny Styrofoam cups— watching the river traffic chug past. It
the best coffee in the world when was an unexpectedly special day. A gift.
you’re just off your motorcycle, rain-
soaked and shivering. The next night, we sat side by side at
the kitchen counter while we planned
For me, there’s nothing as thera- the next legs of my trip. I made note
peutic as a long ride on the back cards as he traced his fingers across
roads. It feels like the wind gradually the worn atlases he’d used time and
blows away the nests of doubt and again. I was taking many of the same
anxiety that gather inside us. I think roads he’d ridden in times past, fol-
on motorcycles we are uniquely vul- lowing his path across the Gulf Coast.
nerable. We are, perhaps, closer to
death, and that puts the lesser worries There are sons who want to be like
of everyday life back in their place. their fathers and sons who don’t. I’ve
never doubted which I am.
After spending the night in Charles-
ton, I took off early the next morning, When I slung my leg over Blitzen
riding south over the green-brown the next morning, our note cards were
safe in my front pocket, in a plastic

sandwich bag to
protect them from
the elements. It
was October 16,
two days before
my 35th birth-
day. In a photo
taken that morn-
ing, I’m wearing
my secondhand
black leather

courtesy taylor brown Dad and me in
2016, suited up
for a fundraiser,
the Distinguished
Gentleman’s Ride

rd.com 103

Reader’s Digest

jacket and my red backpack, and my When I got the call from my mom,
dad’s old weatherproof duffel is tied I was at the lodge in Wakulla Springs,
over the back of my saddle. south of Tallahassee. I’d just arrived. I
knew from the sound of her voice that
The weather was foggy. I rode something had happened, though de-
over the bridges and causeways of tails were scarce. There had been an
the Georgia coast, where the water accident. A concrete truck had pulled
looked pale beneath the mist, almost out in front of my dad on his way
white, winding through the darkened home from lunch, on Highway 17 just
cordgrass of the falltime marsh. I rode north of the Florida line—the same
down Highway 17 through a string of highway I’d ridden that morning.
small towns, skirting the Okefenokee
Swamp and the Osceola National For- I was at the local airport, about to
est, making my way to the Panhandle. rent a car for the drive home, when
Mom called to tell me he was gone. I
I still have the note cards that tell found myself standing in the parking
me the towns—Folkston, Macclenny, lot, staring up at the sky. It was sun-
Sanderson, Lake City, Branford— set, and the sky was almost the color
along with the trip checklist my father of fire. I thought how many times Dad
gave me, listing such necessities as had ridden south to watch this same
“Tire patch kit/pump” and “Duct/elec- sky turn to flame.
trical tape” and “Cigars/lighter/cutter.”
I started out early the next morn-
Around lunchtime, I stopped in ing in the rental car, leaving Blitzen
Mayo, Florida, where I took photos under a cover in the parking lot. My
of the Udder Delight ice cream shop. sister took the red-eye from San Fran-
I texted with my old man. He’d rid- cisco, and I picked her up at the air-
den to a diner called Steffens near the port on my way home. When we got
Georgia-Florida border for lunch and there, Mom had a big manila envelope
sent me a photo of a die-cast 1940 Ford
coupe sitting on a shelf there—a model
like the bootlegging car from my novel
Gods of Howl Mountain, which we’d
“researched” together at vintage car
shows and moonshine festivals.

He told me he’d checked the
weather and the heavier rain was
staying north of my route. He said
Wakulla County, Florida—my night’s
destination—was partly cloudy and
88  degrees. I didn’t reply. I was al-
ready back on the road.

104 june 2020

Life Well Lived

labeled with a single word: IF. Inside the axle bolt free with an ancient cres-
were letters addressed to each of us. cent wrench when a man appeared. I
Here is a little of mine: followed him to his rusted-out Ford,
and he produced a fancy Snap-on
Taylor, ratchet set. He went inside for break-
If you are reading this, something fast, where there weren’t even any
windows to make sure I didn’t run off
has happened to me. I assume it was with his tools, and told me to come
sudden and I didn’t have the chance find him when I was done. I can’t tell
to say goodbye and for that I am truly you how much that meant to me.
sorry ...
The next day, I made it to my aunt’s
I know this is a difficult time but in New Orleans, where my dad always
remember the good times we share—
Sun & Fun, Sturgis, dirt bikes, Moon- I THINK OF MY DAD
shiners’ Festival, Blitzen, Austin, and EVERY TIME
on and on. I have truly enjoyed all
the time we spent together throughout I THROW MY LEG
your life (other than a couple of times OVER THE SADDLE.
playing golf :) ) ...
stopped on his long rides, and Blitzen
What I want to stress in this letter is broke down right in her driveway, as
how much I love you and how proud if the machine knew just how much it
that I am and always will be ... meant to me to finish the ride for him.

I don’t need to tell you that it takes He may have left the world too
a special kind of man to write letters early for us, but I take some comfort
like that. Though he shied away from in knowing he would have wanted to
speaking of it, his relationship with go too soon rather than too late. Rick
his own father had been fraught with Brown would have wanted to die with
difficulty and pain. How easy it would his boots on, and he did. He died doing
have been for him to follow that same what he loved, and that is rare indeed.
pattern with his own children. In-
stead, he went against the grain. These days, I’m more vigilant than
ever on the bike. But there’s no place
A week after the accident, one of I feel closer to my dad. I think of him
my closest childhood friends drove every time I throw my leg over the sad-
me back to Wakulla Springs. I needed dle. I think how much I learned from
to finish the ride. him, how lucky I am to be his son. RD

I left early the next morning for New garden & gun (june/july 2019), copyright © 2019
Orleans. I stopped at a gas station and by taylor brown, gardenandgun.com.
realized my chain was loose. I was sit-
ting in the parking lot trying to break

rd.com 105

Reader’s Digest

Photograph by Joleen Zubek

DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

I WAS

SCAMMED

BY MY

BEST
FRIEND

She swindled me out of $92,000,
forcing me into bankruptcy and
destroying my once sunny outlook.

But I finally got justice.

By Johnathan Walton

from huffpost.com

rd.com | june 2020 107

Reader’s Digest

I
fell hard for one of the oldest cons
in the book. But this scheme wasn’t Today, she’s in jail, probably won- previous spread (inset) and this page: courtesy johnathanwalton.com
cooked up by some fictional Nigerian dering how on earth she became the
prince soliciting me through a sketchy victim of one of her own victims.
e-mail. I fell under the spell of an im-
mensely lovable woman who inserted Allow me to explain.
herself into my life and became my She introduced herself to me as
best friend. She was also an interna- Mair Smyth in May 2013, when she
tional con artist on the run. joined a group of angry neighbors in
my living room to discuss what to do
She snared me in an age-old con about losing access to our building’s
called the Inheritance Scam, ultimately swimming pool because of a legal spat
bilking me out of nearly $100,000. She with a neighboring building.
simultaneously destroyed my sense of “I can help,” she told us. “My boy-
self and darkened my once joyful out- friend is a lawyer who can get the pool
look. As she was ruining my life, she back!”
was also scamming dozens of others I liked her immediately. We all did.
around the world by impersonating She was brash. Funny. Intelligent and
psychics, mortgage brokers, psycholo- outspoken. Ironically, for someone
gists, lawyers, and travel agents and who turned out to be a liar and a con
even pretending to be a cancer victim. artist, she came across as a woman
who would always “tell it like it is.”
She was a true queen of the con,
using disguises and plastic surgery to
alter her appearance. I was a reality
TV producer, working on shows such
as American Ninja Warrior and Shark
Tank, and I never saw through her
masterful performances. She might
have gotten away with cheating many
more people if she hadn’t turned me
into a vigilante. I started my own in-
vestigation, uncovered other victims,
and helped bring her to justice.

108 june 2020

Drama in Real Life

Soon Mair became more than just a
neighbor or even a close friend. She and
my husband (right) and I were family.

Constitution,” she said. “See that sig-
nature at the bottom? That’s my great-
uncle’s.” I had no idea that, like her
shoes, that tale was fake.

Mair brought me Irish tea and pas-
tries and regaled me with stories of
how when she was a young girl, her

OVER SEVERAL MONTHS,
I LENT MAIR $15,000.
I WASN’T WORRIED.
SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

She also came across as extremely grandmother, who was supposedly
wealthy. She wore expensive Jimmy in the Irish Republican Army, would
Choo shoes and once showed me her take her to the top of a bridge and
closet filled with more than 250 pairs. teach her how to hurl Molotov cock-
I later discovered they were all fake. tails down on British soldiers. I was
captivated and horrified.
After our initial meeting in my
apartment that night, Mair invited When I tearfully confided in her
my husband, Pablito, and me to din- that part of my family had disowned
ner. Over the next year, she frequently me for being gay, she pounced. “My
wined and dined us at fancy restau- family disowned me, too!” she said as
rants and always insisted on picking she fought back tears. “They’re trying
up the bill. “I have a lot of money—let to get me disinherited.”
me pay!” she’d plead convincingly.
Mair told me that an uncle, the pa-
We’d hang out almost every evening triarch of her family, had recently died,
in our barbecue area, exchanging in- and her cousins were dividing up an
timacies under the cool Los Angeles estate worth 25 million euros (about
sky. Mair told us she was originally $32 million). She said she was sup-
from Ireland. One night she pointed posed to receive 5 million euros as her
to a framed document hanging in share of the inheritance and showed
her living room. “This is the Irish me angry text messages and e-mails

rd.com 109

Reader’s Digest

from her cousins threatening that she person would forfeit his or her share. courtesy johnathanwalton.com
wouldn’t get a dime. “You’d better be careful!” I cau-

Mair told me she had taken a lot of tioned her. “One of your disgruntled
family money with her when she left cousins might try and set you up!”
Ireland many years ago, so she never Many of her family members certainly
needed to work. But she claimed she appeared to hate her. Why wouldn’t
enjoyed working, so she got hired at a they set her up? I thought.
travel agency where her family did a
lot of business. On July 8, 2014, my phone rang.
“You have a collect call from an in-
Fourteen months into our friend- mate at the Century Regional Deten-
ship, Mair and I were like sister and tion Facility. Press one to accept,” the
brother, even ending our phone calls computerized voice instructed me.
with “I love you.” She told me that her It was Mair. I quickly pressed one.
barristers (I had to look up the word “You were right!” she sobbed. “I was
to learn that it means “lawyers”) were arrested today. My family set me up to
having trouble trying to secure her make it look like I stole $200,000 from
inheritance and that they had warned my job.”
her about a clause in her uncle’s “I told you this would happen!”
will stating that if any family mem- I yelled. I was distraught. I found a
ber were convicted of a felony, the bail bondsman and paid him $4,200

110 june 2020

Drama in Real Life

A queen of the con, Mair took
on dozens of personas, using
disguises and even plastic
surgery to change her look.

to get her out of jail. That’s when I immediately paid back the
first learned that her legal name was $4,200 I used to bail her
Marianne Smyth, not Mair Smyth. But out of jail, so I felt confi-
she paid me back the next day, when dent she’d pay me back any
she was released from jail. Or, rather, other money I loaned her.
the married man she was dating at the
time paid me back. Little did I (or he) But that’s the thing: The
know she was scamming him too. term con artist is short for
confidence artist because
As the months passed, Mair showed these individuals are skilled
me e-mails from her lawyers assuring at gaining your confidence
her that the case against her was fall- and then using it to scam
ing apart. I had no idea those e-mails you out of your money.
were from fake accounts she had cre-
ated herself, just like the messages she Over the course of sev-
claimed were from her cousins. eral months, I lent Mair
nearly $15,000. You’d think I’d be
Then, almost three years into our worried about giving her that much
friendship, she told me that the dis- money, but I wasn’t. Not only was she
trict attorney prosecuting her case my best friend, but she also claimed
had frozen her bank accounts. So I she was about to inherit millions of
started lending her money. She had dollars. I never even considered that
anything sinister could be taking
place.
One day, Mair called me and said
the DA was demanding $50,000 to
dismiss the case against her. I didn’t
have $50,000 in cash. But I did have
an 840 credit score. So I let her charge
the $50,000 on my credit cards to get
the criminal case against her dropped.
A few months later, Mair was arrested
again. She said the judge had charged
her with money laundering, some-
thing to do with her using my credit
cards, and punished her with 30 days

rd.com 111

Reader’s Digest

I was a TV producer, not
a detective. But I was
determined to get justice.

in jail—a “slap on the Her bank accounts had never been sally peterson
wrist.” She assured me, frozen. There was no wealthy Irish
once again, that as soon family or inheritance. She’s not even
as she got out and re- Irish! Those were all lies she used to
ceived her inheritance, entrap me.
she would pay me back.
I went home and collapsed in my
Mair called me col- husband’s arms. “How could I let this
lect from jail every day. happen to us?” I sobbed.
When I said I wanted
to come visit her, she Eventually, my pain was replaced
begged me not to. “I don’t want you by breathtaking anger and the deter-
to see me like this,” she said. But I in- mination to do something.
sisted. So I logged on to the jail’s web-
site to schedule a visit. That’s when The day Mair was released from
the true devastation she had wrought jail, I confronted her in the parking lot
on my life started to reveal itself. outside our apartment building. She
denied everything. “That’s not true,
The website showed that Mair was Johnathan! That’s not true!” she pro-
serving time for felony grand theft. tested as tears streamed down her face.
This was no slap on the wrist.
But I was done believing anything
I took the day off and rushed to a she had to say. I balled up my fists,
Los Angeles courthouse. With trem- clenched my jaw, and walked away.
bling hands, I reviewed every record I We never spoke again.
could find from Mair’s case. I discov-
ered she had lied to me about every- I went to the police days later, in
thing. I suddenly couldn’t breathe. March 2017, and filed a report. The of-
ficer interviewing me seemed skepti-
I learned that the $50,000 I let her cal that there was anything they could
charge on my credit cards had gone
to pay $40,000 as part of a plea agree-
ment to a felony grand theft charge she
faced for stealing more than $200,000
from the travel agency she worked for.
Had she not been able to come up
with that $40,000, she would have re-
ceived a five-year jail sentence, not the
measly 30 days she actually served.

112 june 2020

Drama in Real Life

do. “Don’t give strangers your money” She used this particular scam a lot.
were his parting words. So I started A police detective in Northern Ire-
my own investigation.
land told me that authorities in Belfast
I dug up Mair Smyth’s high school had been looking for Marianne Smyth
yearbook and learned that she was for years. The detective said she had
born Marianne Andle in Maine and worked as a mortgage broker in 2008
graduated from Bangor High in 1987. and had scammed many people and
She later moved to Tennessee, where, then vanished.
according to estranged family mem-
bers I spoke with, she claimed she had All in all, Mair Smyth used at least
breast cancer and allegedly scammed 23 different aliases and has been
friends and neighbors out of thou- charged with fraud and grand theft in
sands for “treatments.” They told me Florida and Tennessee.
Mair was oddly obsessed with wanting
to be Irish. In 2000, she went to Ire- I was determined to get justice and
land on vacation. She ended up mar- called the Los Angeles Police Depart-
rying a local and stayed for nine years. ment every day.

In the same way that wooden stakes THE PROSECUTOR WENT
kill vampires and silver bullets kill OVER IN EXTREME DETAIL
werewolves, publicity kills con art- EVERY DOLLAR MAIR HAD
ists. I began turning my pain into a
profound sense of purpose. I started SCAMMED FROM ME.
a blog, johnathanwalton.com, detail-
ing how Mair had scammed me. Soon, A year after I’d last seen her, Mair
other victims of hers from all over the was arrested and charged with grand
world started reaching out. theft for scamming me. She was re-
leased on her own recognizance. I
I heard from one who claimed Mair never went near her, but one month
had scammed her out of $10,000 by before trial, Mair filed for a restraining
impersonating a psychologist. She order against me, asserting that I was
allegedly tricked our landlord out of threatening her with violence. It cost
$12,000 in rent by pretending to have me $1,500 to hire an attorney to fight
cancer. Mair had iron-deficiency ane- her bogus claim. “If a judge grants
mia and would purposely avoid iron- the restraining order, you would be
rich foods so she could get admitted prevented from testifying against
into hospitals for iron infusions. her at her criminal trial,” my lawyer
While sitting in a hospital bed, she’d explained.
ask a nurse to take her picture and
then e-mail that photo to her vic- Could this be her checkmate move?
tims to better sell her cancer story. I wondered. I was apoplectic.

rd.com 113

Reader’s Digest Drama in Real Life

Thankfully, the judge refused to bankruptcy because of what she had
grant the restraining order, and Mair’s done to me. And the 24 court appear-
trial proceeded. The prosecution pre- ances I made even before the trial—
sented a mountain of irrefutable evi- for continuances, pretrial motions,
dence. Though she was charged with and hearings—meant I missed a lot of
scamming only me, the judge allowed work and lost even more money. Not
testimony from three other victims to to mention the cost of hiring private
demonstrate a pattern. investigators in multiple states and
countries to ferret out all her scams.
Mair did not testify in her own de-
fense. As witnesses described how she But it was worth it.
had scammed them, she just sat there On January 9, 2019, Marianne
with an emotionless look on her face. Smyth was found guilty of conning
That was probably her biggest tell to me out of $91,784—the money she
the jury. She was a brilliant actress had borrowed plus thousands of dol-
while she was conning people, but lars of interest that had accrued on my
remarkably, she didn’t know how to credit cards. She was sentenced to five
act innocent. years behind bars.
Besides me, only two of Mair’s other
The only defense her attorney had marks reported her to the police. That
was that I was making the whole story enabled her to continue scamming
up. Supposedly I had persuaded all of people for years. Most of her victims,
the other witnesses—people I didn’t like most victims of any con artist,
even know before Mair scammed were too ashamed to tell anyone what
me—to lie under oath. He was terrify- had happened to them.
ingly convincing. I am now suspicious of everyone
and everything. Making new friends is
The prosecutor went over in ex- not something I’m good at anymore.
treme detail each dollar Mair had And I’m ashamed too. But my desire
scammed from me. Reliving that to stop her from hurting other people
experience in front of a roomful of is much stronger than my shame. RD
strangers ignited fury and embarrass-
ment and regret in a new, painful way. huffpost.com (august 16, 2019), copyright © 2019
by johnathan walter.
I spent two years pursuing
Marianne Smyth. I had to file for

The Fast and the Furious

The speed limit is the maximum speed you can go by law and also basically
the minimum speed you can go without ticking everybody else off.

lordpounce on reddit.com

114 june 2020

Reader’s Digest

YOUR A Little Bird Told Me
TRUE
STORIES On a self-imposed COVID-19 isolation, I felt
increasingly depressed from living alone.
in 100 Words After a long, spiritless walk, I remembered to
feed the birds before settling in for the eve-
An Ode to Dad ning. Loading the feeder, I noticed a chicka-
dee (my favorite bird) alighting on a nearby
When I was a little girl, my branch. As I stepped away, the bird flew
father always let me help to the feeder, pausing on a perch. Looking
him with car and home re- me straight in the eye, it sang a high-pitched
pairs. Afterward, he used “cheep, cheep,” then grabbed a seed and
to say, “I couldn’t have flew off—a thank-you I’ll never forget! Tears
done it without you!” If he welling up, I knew God had not forgotten me.
deemed a job too danger- His little messenger reminded me of that.
ous, he would seat me out
of harm’s way and have —David Gregorski Coventry, Connecticut

him. He insisted this

— indiana
litchfield, ohio
To read more true rd.com 115

Illustration by Hallie Bateman

Reader’s Digest

THE
GENIUS
SECTION

10 Pages to sharpen
Your Mind

116 june 2020

STORY TIME IS
FOR EVERYONE

Reading aloud, even to other adults,
yields surprising rewards

By Meghan Cox Gurdon

from the book the enchanted hour

joleen zubek (man on stool), getty images (4) N ot long ago, Linda Khan brought as gifts. Her father had always
was sitting by a hospital been a reader, but lately he didn’t
bed in Houston, feeling have the energy or focus. She picked
ill at ease. Beside her lay up Young Titan, Michael Shelden’s
her 88-year-old father. His biography of Winston Churchill, and
heart was faltering. He needed surgery. started to read it out loud.

What troubled her almost as much “Right away it changed the mood
as his health was the fact that all day and atmosphere,” she says. That after-
the two of them had engaged in noth- noon, Khan read to her father for an
ing but depressing small talk. She hour. It was a relief and a pleasure for
and her father had always had good both of them. Reading gave the daugh-
conversations, but now he seemed ter a way to connect with her father and
to be sunk in querulous contempla- help him in a situation that was other-
tion of his predicament. He talked wise out of her hands. Listening al-
about the lousy hospital food, the lowed the father to travel on the sound
tests, the doctors, the diagnosis, the of his daughter’s voice, up and out of
potential outcomes. The scope of his the solipsism of illness and back into
once wide-ranging interests seemed the realm of mature, intellectual en-
to have shrunk to the size of the room. gagement, where he felt himself again.

“It is really hard to sit with a person “He’s in and out of the hospital a lot
in a hospital,” Khan says. “It feels like now,” Khan says, “and I always read to
there’s nothing to talk about except him.”
their medical situation.”
That may be just what the doctor or-
That day in the hospital, her eye fell dered. In a 2010 survey in the United
on a stack of books that people had Kingdom, elderly adults who joined

rd.com 117

Reader’s Digest

weekly read-aloud groups reported why, since 2014, volunteers at the tetra images/getty images
better concentration, less agitation, American Society for the Prevention
and an improved ability to socialize. of Cruelty to Animals have read to the
The survey authors attributed these animals under the group’s care.
improvements in large part to the
“rich, varied, nonprescriptive diet of “Ten or fifteen years ago, I was es-
serious literature” that group members sentially the only person who worked
consumed, with fiction encouraging with the neglect and abuse cases,”
feelings of relaxation and calm, poetry says Victoria Wells, the organization’s
fostering focused concentration, and senior manager for behavior and
narratives of all sorts giving rise to training. “I used to sit with them, in
thoughts, feelings, and memories. front of their kennels, and play guitar
and sing. I used to play the Beatles.
The second-century Greek doctor I noticed that the dogs who were
Antyllus even prescribed daily recita- very fearful, in the back of their ken-
tion to his patients, recommending it nels shivering and cowering, would
as a kind of health-giving tonic and slowly creep forward to the front.
declaring that “epic verse is the best They would appear to be listening,
for one’s health.” and they would become very relaxed.”

An epic poem might be a tall order, The dogs’ response to music led in
but in truth almost any kind of read- a natural way to the idea of reading
ing to another person can be benefi- aloud. It was a practical means of al-
cial. That seems to be especially true lowing a larger number of volunteers
for Alzheimer’s patients, according to to minister to recovering animals.
a 2017 University of Liverpool study Some volunteers keep the animals
of 800,000 men and women with de- apprised of current events by reading
mentia. “Reading a literary text to- the newspaper, some choose chil-
gether not only harnesses
the power of reading as dren’s books, and others
a cognitive process; it prefer adult fiction. On
acts as a powerful so- the day I stopped by,
cially coalescing presence, a retired opera singer
allowing readers a sense of
subjective and shared ex- was reading the sci-fi
perience at the same time,” thriller Logan’s Run to
the study’s authors wrote. half a dozen dogs.

We are not the only spe- “The dogs really en-
cies to benefit from this joy the reading,” Wells
kind of oral medicine. says. “The fact that it’s
Dogs do, too, which is not threatening but it’s
attention all the same is
what’s most beneficial.

118 june 2020

The Genius Section

We noticed that it really does assist that right before she started to read
in the standard behavior treatment. the Churchill biography to her fa-
The dogs are much more receptive to ther, she was tempted to put the book
us, and they seem more comfortable down. It felt odd and even improper
in their kennels in general ... I think to presume to read to a man who, for
it’s that soothing, even tone of voice her entire life, had always been strong
and the presence of somebody to keep and independent. She didn’t want
them company that really, really ben- him to feel patronized. Her fear was
efits them.” misplaced; they both ended up loving
the experience. Like so many others
Readers get rewards too. For Neil who brave the momentary weirdness
Bush, the late-life hospitalizations of of reading to another adult, they were,
his famous parents, George H. W. and to borrow a phrase from Wordsworth,
Barbara Bush, became opportunities surprised by the joy of it.

WE ARE NOT THE ONLY Who wouldn’t want that? One night
SPECIES TO BENEFIT years ago, a friend of mine wandered
FROM THIS KIND into his family’s living room after sup-
OF ORAL MEDICINE. per and picked up a copy of Michael
Shaara’s Civil War novel The Killer
to repay a debt of gratitude. “When I Angels. Without thinking much about
was a kid, [my mother] would read to it, he started to read the preface out
me and my siblings,” he told a reporter loud. Immediately, he was joined
in the spring of 2018. With his parents by his eldest son, who was about 12
in and out of care, he said, “we’ve at the time. A moment later, his wife
been reading books about Dad’s for- came in, followed by the couple’s two
eign policy and, more recently, Mom’s young daughters, who at six and eight
memoir.” were not perhaps the target audience
for an introduction to Robert E. Lee
Bush went on, his voice thick with and Joshua Chamberlain but wanted
emotion: “And to read the story of to be part of a family moment. Within
their amazing life together has been a few minutes, everyone seemed so
a remarkable blessing to me, person- comfy and engaged that my friend
ally, as their son.” kept reading. It went on for an hour
that night. He picked the book up
Reading to a spouse, sibling, or again after dinner the next night, and
parent might seem so far outside the the next, until he had finished it. RD
normal range of most people’s regu-
lar activities as to be eccentric and excerpted from the book the enchanted hour by
a little peculiar. Linda Khan told me meghan cox gurdon, copyright © 2019 by meghan
cox gurdon. reprinted with permission of
harpercollins publishers.

rd.com 119

Reader’s Digest

BRAIN GAMES

Quick Crossword 1 2
3 4
easy It’s beach weather,
so place these waterside 5 6
retreats in the grid. 7
9 8
MYRTLE
ORANGE 10
CHIMNEY
PISMO
CRANE
MIAMI
OCRACOKE
LANIKAI
KALALOCH
BRIGHTON

Summer Camp maria amador (4)

medium Abigail, Oliver, Rosa, and Blake all attend the same summer camp, where
they can cook, kayak, rock climb, and zip-line. Each child has a different favorite
activity. Can you figure out who likes what best based on the following clues?

✦ Abigail’s favorite
activity isn’t rock
climbing.

✦ Oliver is afraid
of heights.

✦ Rosa can’t do her
favorite activity
without a harness.

✦ Blake likes to keep
his feet on the
ground at all times.

120 june 2020

The Genius Section

Full Circle

easy What number should appear in place of the question mark?

1432 2143 3214 ?

Shorthanded Double Trouble

difficult Which cards are missing in the third and medium Rephrase each
fourth hands? item below as a pair of
rhyming words. Hint:
marcel danesi (full circle, shorthanded). emily goodman (double trouble) A phrase’s number is also
the number of syllables in
each word in the answer.

1. A purse from northern
Europe

2. A manly tortilla chip
covered in cheese

3. An eatery with a blasé
attitude

4. A docile teenager

5. An association special-
izing in spontaneity

For more Brain Games,
go to rd.com/
crosswords.

For answers, turn to page 126.

rd.com 121

Reader’s Digest The Genius Section

WORD POWER 9. kalimba n.
(kuh-'lim-buh)
What do an academic, a debacle, and a a tea service.
Miami Beach clambake have in common? b thumb piano.
They are words spelled with letters from only c motor scooter.
the first half of the alphabet, a to m—like all
those in this quiz. (Answers on page 124.) 10. blackball v.
Next issue: the second half of the alphabet. ('blak-ball)
a exclude socially.
By Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon b demand money.
c cancel without notice.
1. affable adj. 5. malleable adj.
('af-uh-bull) ('mal-ee-uh-bull) 11. ebb v.
a easygoing. a cruel. (eb)
b humorless. b sickly. a rise slowly.
c qualified. c pliable. b decrease.
c encourage.
2. filial adj. 6. Gallic adj.
('fih-lee-uhl) ('gal-ik) 12. jackal n.
a ornamental. a Scottish. ('jak-uhl)
b of sons and daughters. b French. a wild dog.
c on horseback. c Roman. b trickster.
c thatched hut.
3. edifice n. 7. allege v.
('eh-duh-fiss) (uh-'lej) 13. addled adj.
a steep cliff. a compare and contrast. ('ad-uhld)
b inspiration. b approach cautiously. a egg-shaped.
c large building. c assert without proof. b confused.
c extra.
4. calcified adj. 8. fallible adj.
('kal-sih-fyd) ('fal-uh-bull) 14. imam n.
a hardened. a autumnal. (ih-'mom)
b wasted away. b fertile. a electronic message.
c rusted through. c imperfect. b atomic particle.
c Muslim prayer leader.

15. fiddlehead n.
('fih-duhl-hed)
a edible fern.
b large crab.
c violinist.

To play an interactive version of Word Power on your iPad,
download the Reader’s Digest app.

122 june 2020 | rd.com

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Reader’s Digest The Genius Section

Half-Time Notes

Three different prefixes can signal a half: There’s semi-
(as in semicircle), hemi- (hemisphere), and demi- (demigod).
As it happens, all three prefixes occur in music—and in one
case, in the same word. A hemidemisemiquaver is a 64th note,
or a half of a half of a half of an eighth note, which is called a
quaver. The shorter the note, the longer the name!

Word Power 6. Gallic (b) French. 12. jackal (a) wild dog. c squared studios/getty images
Crepes are a classic What is the mayor’s
ANSWERS Gallic dish. office going to do about
the pack of jackals on
1. affable (a) easygoing. 7. allege (c) assert the loose in our town?
Guillermo is always without proof. At the time
affable, even when facing you allege my dog dug 13. addled (b) confused.
big deadlines at work. up your azaleas, he was Uncle Paul can get addled
actually at the vet. when he doesn’t take his
2. filial (b) of sons and medications.
daughters. “Is some 8. fallible (c) imperfect.
filial respect too much The captain may think 14. imam (c) Muslim
to ask around here?” he’s always right, but prayer leader. Local
Mom joked. even his judgment is imams, rabbis, and
fallible sometimes! priests formed a task
3. edifice (c) large force to promote
building. The Gothic 9. kalimba (b) thumb religious tolerance.
edifice will be restored piano. My niece taught
by a team of experts. herself to play Mozart 15. fiddlehead (a)
sonatas on the kalimba. edible fern. We’re serving
4. calcified (a) hardened. salmon on a bed of
Mary’s political opinions 10. blackball (a) exclude sautéed fiddleheads
only calcified as she grew socially. E.J. was black- for lunch.
older. balled from the garden-
ing club after she missed Vocabulary Ratings
5. malleable (c) pliable. four meetings in a row.
After her first yoga class, 9 & below: blah
Emily found that her 11. ebb (b) decrease. 10–12: mild
muscles weren’t all that Tamika’s enthusiasm for 13–15: ideal
malleable. knitting began to ebb
after she made a few mis-
shapen scarves.

124 june 2020 | rd.com

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Reader’s Digest The Genius Section

BRAIN GAMES mlaauuksgeh!
ANSWERS

See page 120.

Quick Crossword

across down
5. myrtle 1. pismo
7. lanikai 2. miami
8. crane 3. brighton
9. ocracoke 4. orange
10. chimney 6. kalaloch

Summer Camp

Abigail likes to zip-line,
Oliver likes to kayak,
Rosa likes to rock climb,
and Blake likes to cook.

Full Circle 8 Caption Contest

4321. Moving right, the What’s your clever description for this nature picture library/superstock
last digit in the circle be- picture? Submit your funniest line at
comes the first digit in the RD.COM/CAPTIONCONTEST. Winners will
next. The other three dig- appear in a future Photo Finish (PAGE 128).
its stay in the same order.
Reader’s Digest (ISSN 0034-0375) (USPS 865-820), (CPM Agreement# 40031457), Vol. 195, No.
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nacho 3. Nonchalant
restaurant 4. Acquiescent
adolescent 5. Improvisa-
tion organization

126 june 2020 | rd.com

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PHOTO FINISH

Your Funniest captions

Winner
“Yes, dear, we’ll visit your mother as soon as I finish cutting the grass.”

—Ron Haney Milton-Freewater, Oregon
Runners-Up

“After you’re done mowing the lawn, you can get the toothbrush
and sweep the driveway.”

—Susan Grannell Dunedin, Florida
First day of basic training at barber college.
—Barry Caulfield Little Silver, New Jersey
To enter an upcoming caption contest, see the photo on page 126.

128 june 2020 | rd.com

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