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Published by ashley, 2021-11-04 20:22:40

She Rose Interior Proof

She Rose Interior Proof

she rose

talking about how we finally did it. We have a beautiful baby girl. She
was with his mother for the night. We were leaving to go to Florida in
three days. Everyone, includinghis mother, was enjoying themselves.

We made the toast, smashed the cake on each other’s face, and then,
we said thankyou to our guests. We left to change our clothes and go to
the Jamaican Club. Some of thewedding party went with us to the club
in the limo. The rest of our friends met us at the door. It was very cool
getting out a little baby limo. My cousin from NY was hanging outwith
me. She was a few years older than I was. We used to party all the time
when I usedto go to NY. Her boyfriend was a DJ. She was ready to get
the celebrations on with us too. The best man went to Eastern with
me. I introduced him to one of my girlfriends. They got married a few
months before us. We saw them parking several blocks up the street.
They jumped in the car with us too. Although it was a baby limo, it was
enough room for everyone to get in.

My husband went upstairs to make sure everything was set up for us.
The hostcame toward us and said, “Mrs. J. and the wedding party, you
may follow me.” We allwent upstairs. We had a long table close to the
front window. They brought us so muchfood and drinks. It seems like
it was not going to ever stop. I looked up at my one andonly brother,
who did not like my husband, was walking in with his oldest son. I
wasthanking God for answering prayers. My brother loves me so much
he was putting thepast behind him. I was not expecting him to come,
but he was ready to party. We all hadenough drinks in us while we were
floating, and it was time to dance the night away. Wewent downstairs
and walked towards the back. My husband was on the other side of the
room watching me. He had this sexy look on his face as if he was saying
she is my bride.

I was smiling thinking he is my husband. The tall dark handsome
smooth man with his moves was waiting for me to get to him. We were
about to dance the night away. I was walking across the dance floor.

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Then unexpectedly, this tall girl came from out of nowhere. She jumped
in front of me. She said, “ReCe! ReCe! Is that you?” I stopped andsmiled.
My cousin from NY and my girlfriends were all waiting behind us. She
said, “I used to model with you. Do you remember?”

I said, “Yes! How are you doing? Wow! It has been years! We were like fifteen or
sixteenwhen we were modeling for Ms. Pinky at Chapter III. Well, it was nice
seeing you.” Now,I could see this rough around the edges man going through his
control changes. He yelledover the music, “ReCe get your butt over here! You
are just going to stop in the middle of the floor. Then start talking!” I am baffled
by how he was speaking to me. “I am sorry...Why are you pulling my arms? Stop!
You are embarrassing me! Boy! You have lost yourmind! I got married to you
today. My father is at home! You are not my father!”

“Yeah! You are acting as if we all are not here together. You should have kept on
walking.”

“Bamma, who do you think you are talking to?” Wesley jumps in to defend me.
He already has this build-up from going to the police station. “You are not her
father. Donot put your hands on my sister again!” They start fighting on the
dance floor. The women were screaming, and the people were running to jump
in. Somehow, we were able to get them apart. The security was pushing us all out
of the front door. I am standingin front of the club dreaming of being in Florida
on my honeymoon. This is not my wedding night. This cannot be happening
right now. Everyone was yelling and laughing,“Joe, they just got married.” Joe
is a name the guys call to each other. You could hear allof Joe’s. “Joe that punk
was pulling on his wife,” for a couple of hours, and went on, and on. I was
standing there watching my world spinning in my mind. It was going around,
and around. I could see us, and our baby girl on the beach with the blue water,
and drinkswith an umbrella.

I snapped out of it when I saw my brother coming down the street with a red
security steering wheel bar in his hands. It is used to keep your car from being
stolen. Tonight, it was going to be used to whip some butt. My nephew was

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she rose

following behind his dad just in case anyone tried to jump in the fight. They
were boxing as if they were strangers. I jumped in between them. My husband,
who I love and just married hours before, and my brother who I love and known
all my life. I am crying, “Please you all donot do this. This is my wedding night.
Wesley, please just go home! Nephew, please getyour dad and take him home.
Black! I am ready to go!” I go to grab him by the arm to walk to the car. He
pulled his arm away from me and say, “B*tch get off me! Go with your brother.
You are taking up for him. You are taking his side.”

“WHAT? Do you realize we just got married today?” I am trying to hold it
together. My friend Sherry (who introduced me to him), my friend Gee (she is
the wife of our best man. I introduced them to each other. Gee worked
with me), and my cousin from New York were all trying to get us in
our baby limo. My new husband’s family calmed down enough to get
in the car. I was sitting by the window shaking my head in disbelief.
We pulled off headed back to my house. All the people I named were
riding inthe limo with us. My husband started going off and called me
another B*tch! I took my Candie’s Clogs off and busted his lip with
the heel of my shoe. Everyone started screaming, “RECE!” Blood
went everywhere! I was screaming and I was ready to fight!It was as if I
was having an outer body experience. The driver, scared and swerving,
pulled over. We all jumped out of the car.

Everyone left, but my best friend Sherry stayed with me. We were both crying.
Hewas bleeding like crazy! Sherry looked at his mouth and suggested we go to
the hospital.I was livid! My night was not supposed to be like this. It felt like I was
having a nightmare.We had to leave from Georgia Ave and Missouri Ave NW,
Washington, DC to go back to Landover Hills, MD, a twenty-minute ride.

We went to our house and changed our clothes to put on something comfortable,
then we left to go to the hospital. We were close to PG Community Hospital in
Cheverly.He wanted to go to Doctor Community Hospital instead. As soon as
we walked in, they called him to the back. I started to go in the back with him,
but I was so mad at him for ruining my night I changed my mind. It was well

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after midnight by now, and I fell asleepwhile waiting. I heard the nurse calling
my new name, “Mrs. Johnson! Mrs. Johnson.” Ittook me a minute to wake up.
She informed me my husband would be coming out shortly. When Black came
out from the back, he could barely talk. I looked up at him andit looked like I
saw stitches. I was so tired; I wasn’t sure what I was seeing. The nurse said, “Mr.
Johnson’s incident tonight caused him to get seven stitches in his lip.”

“What? Stitches! So, what happens next?”

“His stitches will dissolve by themselves. He will have to come back in a week. We
will check to make sure it has healed properly. He wants to make sure he does
not do a lot of talking for a few hours.” Blah, Blah, Blah! I do not know what
else she was saying.I was thinking about how to get out of this marriage. Sherry
told me I could get an annulment since we had just gotten married. Monday
was Columbus Day, so I had to wait until Tuesday to start making phone calls.
I started with DC, since we got married in DC. I called the Superior Court
Family Division, but because we live in Maryland, theycould not do it. Then I
called Maryland State Court house and they could not help me because we got
married in DC. I felt stuck with this man. No, No, No! This cannot be howmy
life is supposed to be.

“God, I wanted to make things right with you. Now, I am stuck. No
Honeymoon. A one-month-old baby! A jerk for a husband! God! Please, please
help me! Lord, I am sorry for all my sins. I promise I will not go against your
will again. I should have just had a baby and not get married. Where are the
marriages like my parents? Why did you not do it for me? You did not stop
me from not marrying him.” I tried to blame God, butit was me who
was not listening. I prayed and cried so many tears.

I had an idea. “Let’s go to counseling! We need counseling. Hey Black, I am
sorryI hit you in your lip. Do you think we can go to counseling, so we can
work on keeping our marriage and family together?”

“Ree, I do not know about somebody telling us how to live after we tell them
all our business. I do not want to pay the man to fix us. We can just start going

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to your church.” Church? I could not believe he said he wanted to start going to
church. We wentto get him a few dress clothes to start as a family going to the
church my parent’s attend.When Sunday came, we got up on time, got dressed
and headed out the door. We arrivedat the church on time. Sunday school just
ended, and service was about to start. My parents were happy to see us there.
Well, I know my mother was happy. My dad knew what had been going on.
He was not feeling any man messing over his baby girl. He alsoknew that my
brother and Black got into a fight. However, he was cordial.

After church we were supposed to go to my parents for Sunday dinner, but
Black goes crazy saying he wants to go home. Furthermore, he refuses to let me
go saying I need to be home with his daughter. I am looking at him wondering
who he was talking to. I had to remind him again that I was his wife, not his
daughter. I tried to keep the peace, so we go home, and he wants to go to the
club in my car! No, sir! We start arguing.I told him to just go. I have peace when
he is gone. I do not want to fuss and fight. The arguing continued every day and
every night he would leave the house.

I heard on Radio 1340 AM, the gospel station, that Todd Hall was coming to
a church near me in Marlboro Pike and Alabama Ave. He was doing a revival.
I needed tobe revived. To my surprise, his mother said she wanted to go to the
revival with me. I was truly happy. We can start over and enjoy each other as
mother and daughter-in-law. The evening services were only supposed to be for
a few days but turned into a month- long revival. Todd Hall is a prophet, and
he was calling people out and telling them whatGod said and was doing in their
life. He had the line for sowing a seed. It was a large amount of money. Service
was normally over around ten or eleven pm. On those days it would go longer,
I would be right there until it was over after midnight.

One night Prophet Hall was preaching. I was sitting in the middle of the
sanctuary.It was not anyone walking or moving around. A tall dark skin male
was walking down the first aisle. I was really focused on the Word, so much
so I did not realize it was my husband. His mother and I were adjusting our
seats to move over for him. He just startedgoing off telling me, “I am not sitting

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down. You need to come on and go home. This doesnot make any sense you
have my baby out in the street this late at night. You have been in church every
night since this man has been in town. It is ridiculous. He got all y’all sitting
here and not taking care of your home. You are leaving now.” Now, mind you
thepreacher was still preaching. People were looking. I was embarrassed. His
mother was shocked at how he was acting. I just got up and left. I did not
want to cause any more attention. In my mind I was angry at this fool
in church! The entire ride home I was crying. I was asking God to help
me. God, what have I gotten myself into?

I went to work every day, five days a week, and had to deal with these crazy
women; I worked with at the police communication. A few of them were my
sister’s friends. I trusted only a few of them. One of the young women there was
a police cadet with me. We graduated from high school the same year. She was
on the basketball team at her school. When we were going to the academy half a
day while in school, she askedme a few times, “ReCe what is up with you? Can
I take you out?” I was so crazy about boys and men I was not thinking about
letting a girl take me on a date. My exact words to her were, “I am strictly D…
Yeah! That right there. I love a man! There is nothing a woman can do for me or
too me.” We were both working as dispatchers.

When I got off work, I went straight home. As soon as I walked through the
door,this fool left out talking about how he was tired of babysitting. “Babysitting?
What? Thisis your child, too. I am not paying for daycare when you do not
work. You fake hustler. You fake Jamerican! I am tired of your lies. I am tired
of you!” Here we go again… Arguing! He pushed my buttons so he could leave
the house. He would get in my face talking trash. I was so heated I grabbed a
knife. “I will kill you if you get in my face again.I am sick and tired of your verbal
abuse. I am tired of you mistreating me.” Our neighborscalled the police. They
were banging on our door.

“OPEN UP! THIS IS THE POLICE!”

I am standing there with a knife in my hand. They asked me to put the knife
down.They must have thought my life was in danger. They did not realize his

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life was in danger.I gave the officer the knife. It was as if I was having an outer
body experience, or something had overtaken me. When I let the knife go, I
came to myself. They were talkingto him asking him if he hit me. It was as if
they never saw me with the knife. I was goingto stab him to death. I hated my
life. They told him to leave and cool off. They asked mewas I okay? In addition,
they did not want to get any more calls about domestic disputes.I assured them
I was good. Our baby was in the bedroom sleeping peacefully through allthe
commotion. I was ready to end my life. This was too much!

I could not take any more. My family did not know what I was dealing with.
My friends had no clue. I was thinking of the best way I could end all this
misery. Take somepills? Nope! I cannot swallow. I do not like taking medicine,
but I should. Nope, I do notwant to hang myself. Nope! I do not want to….
This is crazy. I love myself too much to kill myself. I love my daughter too much
to leave her with this crazy man. So, God, it is you and me. I need you right
now. It was as if I heard Him say, “I have been here all thetime. I never left you.
I turned you into a warrior girl for real.” Every night I slept with aknife under
my pillow. If he thought about fighting me, he was going to die. Hit me again!

Exit Plan “Hi Mom, what are you doing?”

“Hi, daughter! Where have you been?” My father in the background, “Is that
Dore?”

“Yes, this is ReCe.”

My dad, “Is she alright?”

My mother, “So, how are you doing?”“I am okay, Mom.”

“How are your husband and the baby?”“She is right here. She is doing well.”

“Oh! Did you eat?” My parents love to feed the world. “Did you cook? Oh, you
donot know how to cook,” she chuckled.

I said, “Mom, I cooked some fresh greens, black eye peas, and baked
somechicken.”

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“Really? We are coming over for dinner. No, I am kidding. Well, it was nice to
hearfrom you. Y’all take care.”

“Okay, Mom, I will talk to you later.”

It was 1995. William Becton, who was a new artist from Washington DC,
releaseda CD titled “Broken.” I played the entire CD repeatedly. I knew every
song, the prologue,reprise, interlude. I played the CD so much, it had scratches.
I knew the part it would skip to the next song. My favorite was “Be Encouraged.”
The next CD I played just as much was Karyn White’s “Superwoman.” I felt
myself getting stronger. I checked out ofthe marriage. Every day I got home, I
would get my baby and leave back out of the house.I would drive to every store
in the area to get packing boxes. I did not know where I wasgoing, but I knew
for sure I was getting out of this crazy house. He can stay here all by himself.
I tried to make it work, and I refused to fight anymore. There will be no more
disrespecting.

I walked over to the wall where my house phone was hanging. I picked up the
handset and called my mother. “Uh, hello! Mom! Mom! I told a story! We are
not okay. Iwas trying to make my marriage work! It is not working! We keep
fighting. I do not knowhow you and daddy do it! You all have been married
forever. This is crazy. He is a liar. He is a cheater. He does not want to work. I
have to go. I do not care anymore what otherswill think. I want to find a place for
my child and me to go. I went to the rental office andasked to be released from
the rental agreement. He agreed to stay in the apartment to paythe full amount.”
My brother told my mother there were several vacancies where he lives.We went
to his house. If you know my brother, he talks to the world. He told everyone I
was his baby sister, and I was moving into the building soon.

In this case, it paid off because he knew the property manager. The property
manager took us in all the units that were available so I could choose which
one I wanted.My brother lived in Building 102. I chose 104. I still had to
go downtown to the main building located at 13th and L St NW. The
management company was William C. Smith. They had thousands

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of properties in the DC area. My mother was going to put it in her
name since this would be the third apartment I rented. I was unsure
if they would approve of me. Miss Trina, the woman who was helping
us looked at me and asked whowould be staying in the apartment. My
mother answered she was. Nevertheless, the woman said she was going
to put it in my name. “I have a feeling this is for you. Try it and if it does
not work, we will use your mother. You will hear back from us in two
to three days.”
The next day, Miss Trina called from the William C. Smith Management
Companyto congratulate me on my new home and asked when I could pick
up the keys? I wasstuck for a few minutes. I was so excited to be finally leaving
him. Thank you, Jesus! Myfamily was so happy to finally come and rescue me.
They had the U-Haul truck and twovehicles. I had been packing for weeks. I
did not have to get ready, because I was ready.
I had to figure out this new way of living, the life of being a single mom. I had
noclue how to do it. In a way, I had already been living it. He was there, but he
did not do anything. Maybe it wouldn’t be as difficult as I thought.

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Chapter 5

PEEP TOE

CURIOSITY

I was not divorced, but I was living a single life. Things would be so much easier
if we were given instructions on how to raise a child, but that isn’t the case. I had
to learnfast. Fortunately for me, my family was around me. Financially, I was
able to live and take care of my child because I was not receiving child support.
I still worked the rotatingshift from 7am – 3pm for two weeks and switched to
3pm – 11pm for two weeks. I still did not have the weekends off. It was time for
me to add some fun back in my life. I calledone of my bridesmaids, Cinnamon.
Like me, she was a single mother of two children, a boy and a girl. She always
was a good mother taking care of them. Cinnamon and I bothwere raised with
both of our parents in the home. After Eastern High, Cinnamon and I used

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to go to all the clubs. Cinnamon is 5’4”, 160 pounds, and she always wore
make-upeven in high school. She loves to sing and was always smiling about
something.However, when we hung out, I had to get up to go to work while
Cinnamon slept all day.One day I was tired and told Cinnamon that I was not
going out with her again until she got a job.

Months went by without me seeing Cinnamon. I found out she was working
as a sales associate for Aida Communication on Florida Ave NW, Washington,
DC. I finallywas able to get her on the phone. Cinnamon asked how I was doing
after the separation of Black and myself. I told her all was well. I was getting
back on track with my life. Sheinformed me she needs to talk to me in person to
get me her update. I told her it was cool.Let us make it happen. When I called
her there was no answer so, I went to her job. Her co-workers told me she was
at lunch, so I decided I was going to wait for her to return. As I was walking
back to my car, it was a car parked behind me. I saw a woman who appeared to
be Cinnamon leaning over kissing this man. I was not trying to stare too hard.
The woman got out of the car with the biggest glow ever. It was my girl smiling
brightly. She was rocking a sexy long pink dress, some sexy heels matching the
dress, herbig hoop earrings with a matching necklace. Her nails were so long. I
do not know how she was able to do anything. When Cinnamon realized I was
standing there, she said, “Ree!” We hugged and laughed. Cinnamon said, “Did
you just see that?”

“Yes, I saw you kissing ma’am. Who is he?”

“Yes, we need to talk.”

“Cinnamon, I have been calling you. What is going on?”

She said, “Ree, call me tonight at 8:00 pm. I will tell you everything. I also
have agig coming up. I need you to sing back up for me. We will talk about
everything tonight. I love you, Ree! I have to get back in there.” I drove off
wondering who this new personwas. When 8:00 pm came around, I called her.
Cinnamon’s voice was shaking. I could tellshe was nervous about what she was
about to share with me. She said, “Ree, you know you are my girl. I. Um…”

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I said, “Cinnamon if you do not spit it out. Please say what you need to say!
Whatis going on? Are you pregnant?”

“Girl, no! I am dating a woman.”“Wait, you what?”

“I am dating a woman.”

“I am confused. I saw you kissing a man in the car.”“She is not a man.”

“CINNAMON! It looks like you were kissing a dude.” As you can imagine, I
hadso many questions going through my head.

She went on to tell me she was doing a singing showcase for a major
record labelin a few weeks, so they could sign her to their label. She asked
me to sing back up for her.She gave me the address for rehearsal. I printed
out the direction from MapQuest to getme there. As I was driving, I was
listening to my cassette tape, but my mind was on myfriend kissing a
woman who looks like a man. I arrived and many of the faces were
familiar. I knew the homeowner. His name is Tone. Tone was this fine
chocolate six-foot,deep dimples, and beautiful white teeth male. Did I
say dark chocolate, DC firefighter?He was playing the keyboard. Since
I was a police cadet, I knew a lot of police officersand firefighters. He
was friends/co-workers with Cinnamon’s daughter’s father,Blackmon.
Blackmon sang in our high school choir with us as well. He had a very
sexysultry voice. He could sing any song and the women went crazy. A
few more people wereplaying in the band. Gee, Yandi, and I sang back
up. We harmonized well with each other.Blackmon and Tone were going
over our songs we were going to sing. When they started playing “Tell
Me Something Good” by Rufus and Chaka Khan, everyone started
rocking from side to side. All the 70s babies started boom sha-ka-la-ka
with our hips and adip, singing loud! Cinnamon sang the high notes
as if she was Chaka herself. It felt sogood! We all were excited. Gee
started choreographing all the dances for the showcase.We were a real
R&B band. Cinnamon had tickets to sell for the showcase. I was so
competitive, I wanted to sell the most, which I sold 75 tickets. The event
was at Heart and Soul Café.

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It was showtime! We were in the back getting dressed. You can hear the crowd
pouring in the café. It was getting louder, and louder. The music was playing.
The drinks and food were flowing around the room. We were about to do it.
We were about to become famous. My girl Cinnamon was about to get her
start to stardom. There was standing room only. I saw all my coworkers and
friends from MPD in the building. These people were ready for a show. Gee,
Yandi, and I took our place behind the mics on the stage. The band got in their
place. We were ready! Cinnamon opened her mouth on a high note! “Welcome,
everyone! Thank you all for coming out!” She gave a special shout out to her
lover, Hudson who was standing at the foot of the stage. Hudson was smiling
so hard, proud of her woman. Gee’s lover was standing in front of the stage as
well. They were screaming loudly. We were dancing and singing our butts off.
Cinnamon did not know how to dance. Gee gave her low dance movements. We
had her back. She just needed to stick to singing. The band was jamming. The
energy in the room was as if we were playing at The Capital Center in Landover,
MD at a huge concert. Our last song was “Tell Me Something Good.” We had
the entire room jumping.

We did it! We got a standing ovation! Cinnamon thanked her band, us (her
background singers), and everyone who attended. I do not think I had ever
noticed so many lesbians in my life before in one place, all at the same time.
Gee and her lover, Charm were very popular in the gay community. They sold
tickets to all their friends andassociates. Gee said, “ReCe, you are my sister. We
want you to hang out with us. I will call you tomorrow.” Cinnamon said, “ReCe
is not going to go with us.” Charm and Hudson said at the same time, “Yes, she
will.” Charm went on to say, “You are my wife’ssister. Nothing will happen to
you. You will be the straight girl hanging with us.” As theywere talking, it made
me remember my co-worker, who is also a lesbian, always asking me out. I
would say to her with such conviction, “I am strictly…” which meant I did
notwant anything but a huge phallus. Hmmm, I am sure she would not mind
taking me to the spot to meet them. She could be my date so that no one would
bother me. Wait, couldit be a switching circuit, which works by changing from
one stable state to another? I justchanged my shoes to my rainbow flip-flops.

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Chapter 6

FLIP FLOP

ATTRACTION TO SAME-SEX

It was a Friday night. I showed up to The Delta Elite Social Club on 10th Street
inWashington, DC with Redd, my co-worker. That is where Gee and Charm
told me to meet them. Everyone was shocked the straight girl just showed
up with a dominant lesbian. I was fresh meat in a den of lions lying in wait. It
was as if I smelled like a perfumecalled straight and everyone wanted to try it.
I recognized so many faces. I was just as shocked to see them, too. I did not
realize so many people I knew and grew up with werein the life. I never would
have guessed it. I guess they never would have thought they would see me walk
through the doors of a gay club on women’s night since I was strictly…!

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The club was like entering an underground world. It was dark and smoky, but
theatmosphere was electrifying. I wondered what had happened to many of
these women.It was as if they had disappeared off the face of the earth. Here
they are in a place with flickering lights. It was like watching a switching circuit.

Charm walked us over to the VIP table to where my sister Gee was sitting.
Clearly,Redd had been in the life for a while. I can tell she frequents this place
because as we cross the room many of the women acknowledged her. However,
it was clear she had never been to the VIP section by her reaction when we
walked over to the table. The clubwas packed with people standing around, the
dance floor was full, and we had to push through all of them to get to the VIP
table. In places like this, tables were few. We got tothe table, and it was as if the
sea parted. As packed as the club was, the VIP provided us with breathing room
the rest of the club did not have. When Gee saw me, she lit up withexcitement.
I was not sure if it was because I showed up or who it was accompanying me.I sat
next to her and looking at her was like looking in the mirror. She was tall and
chocolate just like me. We both wore long flowing ponytails. You know the one
you clipped on and could interchange. She had beautiful wide darks eyes that
could capture anyone’s attention. To accent her eyes, she would wear white liner
on the top of her eyelids. Everyone’s eyes were on us. Charm said she would be
back because she needed to go put her name on the list. I was not sure what
that meant because we were sitting in the VIP. Gee and I just sat there laughing
and talking.

Next thing I know, I heard an announcement over the mic. The dance floor in
front of us clears, and out walks Charm to the center of the floor to perform.
Charm lip-synced and danced to Ginuwine’s “Pony.” Watching Charm move
across the floor was hypnotic.Charm had smooth medium cocoa brown skin;
she was lean and tall with defined muscles on her arms. She wore her hair
in short tracks with a feathered bang over her right eye. She was dressed in
blue Dockers, a wife-beater, a button-up khaki shirt, and timberland boots. She
moved as a professional dancer as everyone watched. She slitheredover toward
our VIP table and right up to Gee. She performed a sexy dance right there for

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everyone to see. Gee gave her wide smile showing all her pearly whites enjoying
herwoman and putting her on display.

I was intrigued by everything going on around me. The energy was
inviting andhad me wrapped all the way up. Even though Cinnamon
was my girl and introduced me to the new world, I was hanging with
Gee and Charm. We started going out regularly. I was like their little
sister. Charm would have Gee and me on her arms as we hung out
night after night in different gay clubs, like The Edge over by Mirage
and The Bachelor’sMill on 8th ST SE by the Navy Yard where Charm
would perform and so would Gee on occasion. When you saw Gee and
Charm, you would see me. People would say, “Aye,Charm, who’s that?”
She would reply, “That’s my sis.” I was still straight, but the more and
more we hung out the more curious I got.

Late one night, my curiosity got the best of me. I called Redd and asked her
whatit was like to use a dildo. Yes, you read it right, Ms. Strictly… I wanted to
know what it was like to be probed by a dildo from another woman. Redd came
over, even though wenever got into a relationship, though she wanted to, and
I had my first official encounter in the other world. Circuit Switched! I was no
longer the straight girl. I am sure you are wondering how the experience was for
me. There was a lot of imaging going on. She wasa light complexion very athletic
female who was very good at basketball. She probably should have played for
the WNBA. Her dildo matched her complexion as if it was hers. Her breast size
is 32A. It was not too obvious in the dark we were the same sex.

It did not take me long to jump in the game of lip-synching. My sister and
brother had to perform at several shows weekly. We practice a lot for them.
These two had mastered the game. Gee was in the living room playing “On
and On,” by Erykah Badu. She came up with adding me to the skit. I was the
little girl in the video who was gettingher hair done. She really brushed my hair
like in the video. It was a cameo appearance. Itdid not stop there. When you
hang with the “Celebrities,” your popularity will grow. It was not long before
everyone knew Gee’s sister, ReCe. Before we hit the clubs, I had togo to work

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for eight to sixteen hours to dispatch. It was hard to find parking at 300 Indiana
Ave NW. I would have Gee drop me off at work. Gee kept my daughter while I
was at work, so I did not have to pay for daycare. Gee and Charm would never
let me gohome. They gave us our own room in their house. It was one big happy
family. Gee has a son and a daughter. Charm has a daughter too. The seven of
us lived in the brick red house on 16th St SE.

Since Gee was great at cooking, she loved to have a hot meal ready when
we got home. I could tell my baby was well-loved and cared for all day. We
all were raised in the church. Gee’s grandfather is the founder of one of the
largest organizations in the country. Charm’s mother is a missionary for another
megachurch in Washington, DC. We all gave our life to Christ at a very young
age. One evening after dinner Gee and I started singing, “His Eye is on The
Sparrow,” the version by Lauryn Hill and Tanya Blount. Remember, we both
sang in Eastern High School Choir. Gee was Lauryn and I was Tanya. We kept
singing it and Charm was in the hallway where we were, and we started
worshiping God. The Holy Spirit fell upon us at that moment. We were
speakingin tongues. The three of us stayed right there for a while. Gee
was on the steps. Charmslid to the floor by the front door, and I was
stretched on my face. The night ended withus quiet and weeping.

We would be in the club and several of the performers would lip-sync to
YolandaAdams, “The Battle is Not Yours.” I am glad they would have the lights
down because I cried every time, they sang it. I was going through my own
mental battle wondering if being with a woman was right or wrong. I know
what they taught me, but I was feeling accepted and loved. I knew God loved
me. I felt this sense of belonging. I was single andnow convinced I was ready for
a relationship with a woman. Oh! My!

Here comes this cute male in the gay club a little shorter than me. I was
wonderingwhy this straight male was here. However, there were people who
had family support them no matter what choice they made. He walked over to
Charm. They were talking and laughing. Charm said, “That is my sister, Boy!”
The house music was jumping, and the dance floor was jammed packed. I could

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not hear all the conversations, but I heard that loud and clear. Charm and
Gee were overprotective about me. Well, it turned out Charm was talking to a
woman named Shorty. Shorty was built like a man. Clean, baldhead, turquoise
blue Hugo Boss shirt, fresh blue jean shorts, crisped white drop socks, and new
butter (brown timberland). Shorty and I eventually started dating each other.
It did not take me long to realize women were acting like men. Shorty would
run away from her girlfriend’s house to be with me. Our work schedule was
opposite makingit convenient for us to have time apart. I did not know about
the girlfriend. Missy found out about me and was making threats of what she
was going to do to me. I do not take threats too well. So, I did my own reach
and found out where she lived. She lived in the Car Barn. What I did not realize
was I had been to her house before with my sister. My sisters Pattie and Missy
were sister girls too. When we went over one day on our lunch break when Pattie
had to pick something up from her. Missy was talking about her pieceof trade as
Pattie would call it. According to Wikipedia and my personal knowledge, trade
is a gay slang term that refers to the casual partner of a gay man or to the genre
of such pairings. Trade originally referred to casual sex partners, regardless of
sexuality. I knew how Pattie talked, so I never assumed Pattie and Missy were
talking about Shorty,a dominant female. Which happened to be someone I was
dating as well. Just like men, she was doing the same thing.

I did not beat Missy up, nor did I go to jail. I refused to be second. I was not
fighting over no darn woman. Bye, Shorty. Shorty ended up leaving her. In our
short time dating, Shorty met a few of my friends. One was a successful DCPS
teacher. She was in the pink and green sorority. She was the biggest Mickey
Mouse lover I knew. Her entire house had M.I.C.K.E.Y. everywhere. We met
through a mutual friend. She lived all the way in Germantown, MD, which
was easily a three-hour trip from my house. Well, she was having a breast
reduction. I surprised her and went to stay with her to care for her scars as they
healed. She had a very immature lover. I wanted to help my sister get back
on her feet. Weeks after she recovered, we went to a straight (Heterosexual)
party. I gave her a cute blue jean off the shoulder dress. She told me she liked

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it when I wore it at the 9:30 club weeks back. What I missed was that she and
Shorty connected on that day. They were seeing each other behind my back.
I was in shock my sister would date my ex-lover. I forgave them both. As you
can imagine, we were no longer close. We would be in the club and here they
come. Shorty and Mickey’s lover were the perfect couple. You all know it did
not last long.

By hanging out in the club several times a week I met a lot of people.
The feminine women were my sisters. The dominant women were
my brothers. In “The Life” we arefamily! We would celebrate all the
holidays together. The biggest party we had every year in DC was
DC Pride which were predominantly African Americans held on
Memorial Day weekend. We would have a Police week, which ended
on the same weekend. Capital Pride is a week later. There were parties
all over the city. At a few ofthe events, Charm was the MC and Gee
and I were her guests. One of the baddest promoters is Ms. Vicki.
I do not know how she pulled thousands of women together every
year, but The Wet Club was the place to be. She had every theme
you could imagine. We had beach parties. So, let’s think about the
name The Wet Club. It was women in the shower. It was Wet ’n Wild!
There were women dancing in cages, climbingup poles, and sliding back
so eloquently. You had my brother, Charm talking trash andhyping
up the crowd. There were dollar bills flying everywhere. Everyone was
gettingpaid! Then, we would go back to our regular routine.

I became enamored with one of the Officers at my job. After a few conversations,
Officer Chop and I started dating. We worked the same shift, and she would
bring me lunch and money every day. She loves Will Downing, so when I found
out he was comingto town, I surprised her and brought tickets for his concert
at DAR Constitution Hall. Many officers had a legit side hustle. Chop was no
different. One of her clients was the owner of Whitesands Realty company. I
shared my future goals with Chop, and she always had words of encouragement.
One day I was hanging at my parents’ house in Northeast DC. Chop’s office

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was on North Capitol Street, in Northwest DC about ten minutes driving
from my parents. I had shared with her a few weeks prior I was readyto be a
homeowner. My rent was only $419, and I was making too much money not
to own. The problem was I had gone to all of these programs, and they would
not help me because of my credit. After being with my daughter’s father I could
never get back on top.

I hear my new Kyocera flip phone ringing. I ran from the hallway to the dining
room to answer it. Chop was whispering, “Babe! Where are you?” I told her I
was still atmy parents’ house. I asked her what was going on and she asked me
was I sure I was ready to buy a house? I told I was, and she asked me again was
I sure? I said, “Yes! Whyare you asking me that?” She told me I needed to come
to her office immediately. I knewChop to be a businesswoman with multiple
streams of income. She owned several properties in Washington, DC. I told her
I would be there in five minutes. Wait! She is still the po-po and I have the nerve
to tell her I will be flying down Florida Ave. I was dressed in an all-red pleather
outfit. I had a white long-sleeve blouse with my black patent leather boots. Yes,
I was cute! I realized later I was dressed for what was about tohappen next.

I arrived about eight minutes after we hung up. I pulled in front of the
building, jumped out and went inside. She was still with her client. He was
a light complexion, 6’1”, light brown hair, million-dollar smile, mixed race
Jamaican. He was with his business partners. I found out later they were all
friends, who were close like family. These men were all dressed in their Kenneth
Cole Suits with black shiny Kenneth Cole shoes. Chop smiled at me when I
walked through the door. She said, “Hi babe!” I was cheesing so hard. She was
so sexy. Her client was looking at me in the mirror. He turnedhis chair all the
way around and said, “Damn! Chop this is your lady?” Chop was lookingover
her glasses smiling. She introduced us, “Terry meet ReCe. ReCe this is Terry,
my client and my brother. He is going to help you get your house.” I’d had so
many people tell me no! I tried the government programs, several real estate
agents, Homestead USA,you name it, I called them.

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Terry’s grooming session was complete. He had a fresh haircut, and his facial
hairwas in place. He was still in the mirror smiling. You could tell he was feeling
himself. Hiscousin Carl was another fine brother! Oh my! He was chocolate
with jet black waves deeper than the ocean. He too was well groomed. Then, you
had Mr. Bates. Mr. Bates wassexy too! I love my chocolate. I know I am dating
Chop, but her clients had it going on. Chop said, “Babe leave your car here and
ride with them. They will explain everything to you, you are in good hands.”

We went to a party where we ate and hung out for a little while. After
eating, Terryput on his business hat. “Ms. ReCe, I know you are ready.
This is what I need from you,all your creditors, proof of employment,
proof of income, tax documents, place of residence, and bank account
information. I need you to meet us at the address in three days. We
are a one stop shop. We have the Real Estate Agent, Lender, Home
Inspector, Title company there.” We handled our business, finished our
food, drank our lastcocktail, and left.

When I got back to my car, I called Chop and told her they were cool.
She told meI deserved it and that she believed in me. Having her in my
corner I had enough energyto go home and look for the papers Terry
requested. Next day I called Terry to let himknow I had everything he
needed. He was proud of me and told me to go ahead and meethim at
the office. Bates was there to get me started. I gave him my paperwork
to start the ball rolling. Terry finally arrived. “Hey, Ms. ReCe,” he said in his
Jamaican accent. “Areyou ready to go looking at houses?” I was shocked he was
asking me this so fast. I said yes! We went in and out of so many homes. Many
of the homes were very old. However,I have an eye to envision what I want my
house to look like. I did not see anything I likeon the first day, nor a few days
after. Finally, we went to a house two blocks from wheremy parents lived. This
was it! I knew it when I walked in the front door. It had spiral stairs. The walls
were knocked out. The living room and dining room were huge open spaces
divided by the staircase. There was an exposed brick wall and a glass wood fired
stove in front of it. The kitchen had a bathroom inside of it. Wait! There was a

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stove witha commercial grill attached to it. There are were no upper cabinets
on the wall. The cabinets were low. It had a pot rack and a nook in the back of
the kitchen.

I walked up the stairs to the second floor and the wall had bamboo wallpaper.
Onthe right-hand side, there are three huge Plexiglas. You can look in the room
on the otherside of it. It appeared to be a platform you had to step up. In the
corner was a bar area. The opposite wall had bamboo matching the wall in the
hallway. It was the second bedroom. The owner knocked the wall down to open
it up. It was a bedroom in the backwith two arches in the second half of the
room. The front room was huge with bay windows. is is my house is what I
am thinking. The master bedroom closet had slidingmirror doors. Yes! I love
this house. I went into the basement. Now, it’s creepy because they removed the
regular stairs. It was like a catwalk. It had a square piece of wood on the left.
Step down to the square piece of wood on the right. It was very steep. However,
the basement was unfinished. All exposed brick walls with a front and back
door. “Terrythis is my house.” I called Chop. “Babe, Babe can you put your
sirens on so you can get here now? I know this is my house. I want you to see it!”

She always laughed at my excitement. She told me to give her a few minutes to
getthere. “I am not putting on my sirens, ReCe. Girl, you are crazy.” I said,
“10-4.” That is the language for the police. It means I understood. Chop arrived
shortly after we hung up. I was like a big kid. I gave her a tour of my new home.
She kept looking over those glasses smiling. We went back to the living room.
She asked me, “Do you like it?” I said,“I LOVE IT! This is my house!”

Terry, the voice of reason, spoke, “We will put a contract on it, but we need to
continue to search for more homes just in case this one does not go through.”
I knew theWord of God said all I needed was a little faith, the size of a mustard
seed. We all left thehouse to go our separate ways. As we were pulling off, I said
to them, “This is my house!The address is 911. I am a 911 dispatcher.” I will
go, reluctantly, to keep searching for more homes. I did not care how many
contracts were on the house. It was mine! We foundout later there were seven
offers on the house. I prayed they would accept my offer. Theycame back to tell

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me a few of the offers fell through. Thank you, Jesus! However, it wastwo very
strong contracts. Their offer and two people were on the contract. I told them
we can continue to look, but I already have my house. Terry called to meet him
at the office. I arrived at the office with such conviction of knowing 911 10th
Street was my property.

What he does not know is I drove around the property day and night. I claimed
it every day as if I already lived there. I would watch the neighborhood. I noticed
the peoplewho lived in the house next door. It was a family of about thirteen
people who lived there.Remember, I grew up two blocks away, so I knew a lot
of people in the area. I asked questions. Terry told me I needed my $1,000.00
for my earnest money deposit. I was excited! I knew we were getting closer
to closing the deal. I called Chop and said I need to get my earnest money
deposit to Terry in the next few days. She asked me if I was stillat his office. I
informed her I was still there going over paperwork. She told me she was on her
way. Chop arrived and went over the paperwork with me again to make sure
everything was on point. Then, she asked me to take a ride with her, which I
did withouthesitation. We went to the Fort McNair Army base. There is a credit
union located on thebase. She asked me to give her a few minutes and she’d will
be right back.

I am sitting in the car excited to become a 1st-time homeowner. I am
thinking about packing my apartment, getting a moving truck, and
wondering who will help me move? My mind is going. My baby girl
and I will have our own house. I had to get her registeredfor preschool.
She is going to the Capitol Hill Cluster School. Yes, we are getting this
house. I was in a daydream. Chop jumps back in the car with a piece of
paper in her hand.She was handing me what looks like a Certified Check
for $1,000. I started screaming andcrying! What is this? Really? Seriously?
She said, “Yes babe. This is my gift to you. Go get your house.” She took
me back to White Sands Realty. My eyes were probably red fromcrying
the entire way there. All the hell I have gone through. This woman comes
into mylife and helps me get on the right path. Terry was standing there

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smiling hard. He had toknow what she was going to do. What I did not
know they had already purchased my house too! The other contracts fell
through. We went to closing April 30th. I had everyonewho was available
ready to help me move. I immediately went to my sister Gee’s house.I
walked in the door shouting with my keys in my hands.

“Come on you all! Let’s go to see our new house! Thank you, Jesus! We have
a house. Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!” Gee came running to hug me!“Ree, you
did it!”

“Gee, God did it!”

We all moved in. We moved from a one-bedroom apartment to a three level,
three-bedroom house. After I had been in my house for a month, I was ready
to go get my dream car, which was a Mercedes Benz. Terry’s friend had a dealer’s
license to go to buycars from the auction. We drove to Pennsylvania to buy my
car. I got money back at the closing of my house. I was able to pay cash for my
car. I purchased a Gold 300 E MercedesBenz with leather tan interior and
wood grain, heated seats. I was so proud of my accomplishment. I thanked
God for turning my life around. I thanked God for bringing Officer Chop in
my life for this moment. We are still friends. I will always love her. I wasthe side
chick. Yes! She had a live-in girlfriend with a child. The relationship worked for
us. However, I was no longer willing to be on the side.

The Bachelor Mills was our club, and we went there on Sunday and Tuesday
nights for shows. Tuesday nights were for amateurs. I decided to enter the
contest. You guessed it… My first solo performance was a gospel song, and I
sang “I’m Encouraged”by Vanessa Bell Armstrong. It is an upbeat song. I was
in the dressing room nervous as heck. One thing I knew how to do for sure was
to give God praise, even in the club. Theperformers would be in full costumes,
and because I came to win, I had on my old choir robe. They introduced me as
my music started playing. I opened the curtains and workedthe room. When
you perform, the audience gives you money. Here came my biggest fan,my sister
Gee dropping a hundred one’s over my head. Charm looked like she was goingto

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cry. A proud brother. They taught me well. I was determined to do my best. The
crowdwas up and clapping. I took them to church. The queens were dancing…
saying YESSSS!I walked off like a winner! They were screaming! Wow! I was
proud of myself. Every performer was great.

While the judges were tallying up their scores for us, they had a few pros
to perform. The baddest dom exotic female dancer came to the stage,
who went by the namePressure. She was from Baltimore. I saw her in
the dressing room, but I did not realize she was going to entertain us
tonight. Pressure came out in her black chap motorcycle pants with the
buttock out, her build was like a bodybuilder. She had on a black leather
sports bra. She had zero fat on her body. She had on her cowboy hat,
boots, and grey contact lenses which made her look exotic. She had
the fem, drag queens, and the fem boys going all in! Everyone loved
Pressure. When it was time to announce the winner, the MC told us
we did a wonderful job. They called the second runner up. The crowd
was applauding! Then, they called the first runner up! Mz. ReeeeCeee!
Everyone was going crazy! WOW! It was like I won 1st place. I felt sorry
for the 1st place winner because everyone was so happy for me to get 1st
runner up, nothing else mattered.

Pressure came over to me to congratulate me and gave me a hug and her
number. We started dating for a while. We started performing at different clubs
together. We practiced often. One of our favorite songs we performed was
remixed by KeKe Wyatt featuring Avant was “Nothing In This World.” It was
a hit! We vibed well together and our performance showed it. The crowd was
tossing dollars everywhere. Gee and Charm were always supporting. My sister
was picking up the coins as the audience wasdropping them. We went on to do
more. We performed the Avant and KeKe song, “My First Love.” Pressure had
on a black suit, and I had on a red sexy body shape dress with my black stilettos
that were star-studded. As girly as I am, I agreed to perform in anothercontest

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at the Mills. It was for Halloween. It was a reverse role. Here I go! I wore an all-
black male suit. Pressure wore my red sexy body shape dress. Her body was so
cut up. Every curve on her body fitted my dress perfectly. She had a bald head.
Here is the goodpart. She put on my 5” black stiletto heels. She was looking like
a boy in a dress. We putmy gorgeous bob wig on her. It was the finishing touch.
The crowd did not expect what we were about to do. The drag queens who
would perform songs by female artists like Patti Labelle were performing songs
by male artists like Luther Vandross. We had fun and made a lot of money.
Meanwhile back at home, I felt like Pressure was not completely honest with
me.Her actions were very familiar to me. She was acting just like the men in
my past. I am not doing this, we are done sir, ma’am. It was fun while it lasted.
I will be by myself. Bynow, I have been dating women for a while now. I am
realizing people are people. Cheaters, cheat! The dominant woman I have been
dating was acting just like the men I dated in the past.

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Chapter 7

FLATS

THE CEREMONY

Gee, Charm, and I continued enjoying our life. We had built such a bond. I
lived only minutes from them now, and they still wanted me to stay at their
house. Gee and I took our daughters’ shopping. We were getting ready for
the holiday season. We went tobuy our Christmas Tree and I began shopping
for my family. I brought the Jackson 5 Christmas CD. This is when Michael
Jackson was Lil Mike. Growing up my sisters wouldplay this album repeatedly.
I know every song. It was funny because growing up our record had a scratch.
When I would listen to my CD, I was programmed to skip the part with the
scratch. I had everyone in the car singing to the top of their lungs. We had the
Christmas cheer.

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While we were out with the children having fun, Charm was at Union Station
working. She was a security guard when she was not at the nightclub rocking
the mic. We decided to go through to see the three beautiful big wreaths on
the front of Union Station. Union Station was packed. There were people
everywhere in all the stores. I hadto go to my store Victoria Secret. I love to get
cute sets.

My sister Gee was somewhere smelling fragrances. When I walked over to the
fragrances, she was smelling the testers. She felt somebody watching her being
serious choosing which one she was going to get. When she turned and saw it
was me, she startedcracking up laughing. We went to the cash register to buy
our products. The lines were so long.

As we were walking out of the store, we saw Officer Charm, and her co-worker
Toya. Charm is acting like her name, Charming. She pulled me away from the
group to tell me that Toya liked me. I had a feeling she was going to say that!
I refused because I wasn’t interested, and she was short. We walked back over
to them. She had a dark complexion with Pencil Curls in her hair. She was a
little thick too. You could tell she cared about her appearance. Her uniform
was pressed. Her shoes were shining. She was well put together in her uniform.
I saw her watching me, licking her lips, and smiling. I was cordial. She asked
me if she could buy my lunch. I said no, thanks. She was trying tobe all smooth
laughing at me. We got our food and sat down in the food court. While Officer
Toya was walking around doing her security duties, Gee tried to convince me,
but I let her know I did not want to see or date anyone at this time.

Later, I saw her watching me. She was so short and heavy set. Her hair is as fly
asmine with her curls and she is dressed like a boy, but from the neck up she
looks like a girl. She came and spoke to me, being very pleasant. We eventually
started dating. We got serious enough to go around our family. Her mother
attends one of the area’s mega churches. She loves her child, so she accepted
me. Her brothers were married with children. Like me, she was the youngest of
her family. She was spoiled or well loved, depending on one’s perspective. They
were clear that they hated the sin but loved bothof us. It looked as if they were

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accepting the life we have chosen to live together. Her mother had some cool
sisters. We drove to New Jersey to hang out with her family for their reunion.
All the cousins, aunts and uncles were simply showing us love. She wouldstay
at my house. We would do the family thing. We would go to work, come home
cookand eat as a family. Every Sunday, I would get my daughter dressed and
send her to church with my sister. I would give her my tithes. Even though I
was living a sinful life.I still prayed. I still loved God.

Eventually, Toya began changing and I did not know what was going on. She
hadstarted drinking a lot. It was no longer social. It appeared it was more than
drinking, butI did not have any proof. She had started hanging down the street
in the next block in this house in the basement. It was an afterhours joint.
I never was led to go there. It was like she was operating under a spell. Her
eyes were changing colors. She no longer had the beautiful smile. She was not
keeping her hair in the cute pencil curls. She kept callingout sick from work.
Eventually, they fired her. I did not understand what was going on.I thought
we had a great line of communication. We went to her aunt’s house, and she
would not stop drinking. On the way home we started arguing. I was fussing
becauseshe would not give me the key. I thought for sure we were going to die
that night while riding down North Capitol Street. She was screaming at the
top of her lungs. She was sodrunk.

I was begging her to stop the car. We were driving so fast down the
street. I wascrying and pleading the blood of Jesus. I did not want to
die like this. I started trying tograb the steering wheel. I do not know
how we ended up on New York Ave. She went toturn jumped the curb.
The car stopped. She put it in the park, and we began to fight. She
jumped out of the car, and, I climbed over to the driver’s side, put
the car in drive andfloored the car to run her over. She jumped out
of the way. I missed her, but I left herthere. What happened? When
my adrenaline came down. I drove back around to get her.It was late at
night and a long way for her to walk home by herself. I told her I do
notwant to argue or fight, not to raise her voice at me, or hit me! We
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I am so glad that my sister had my daughter. I went to work and decided we
wouldtalk about it later. I was working a new job. I had resigned from the police
department. I was a contractor for Bell Atlantic. Bell Atlantic and GTE had
merged to form Verizon. Iwas hired to be an Executive Assistant to a VP who
was from Canada. He had a team of100+ people who I supported. One of my
business partners was his acting EA, and she knew they needed a permanent
EA for him and helped me get the position. This was myfirst experience as a
Contractor. My salary jumped about $25,000+. Toya called me at work to see if
I was ready to talk. I told her we would talk later because I was working. Iasked
her if she was looking for a job. It must have struck a nerve because she started
acting like a crazy lady all over again. Well, enough is enough. I told her I would
no longer go through this arguing and truly not fighting. Toya was talking crazy
over the phone. I told my girlfriend to listen out for my team. I would be back
in a few. She asked me is everything alright. I told her I’d be right back. I worked
in Virginia. My job was about 20 minutes from my house. It seems like I got
home in five minutes. My purpose was to put her out.

I walked in the door and heard her talking about me. She didn’t even
know I was in the house. She called me B’s and said I could kiss her A. I
ran up the steps and scaredthe heck out of her. “Get out of here. This is
my house, and you got to go!”

She said, “B… put me out.” She jumped up and came towards me. I
looked at mysteps. My immediate thought was I would go to jail for
murder. Because I was going topush her down those stairs. Her big
butt will probably break her neck. I snapped out ofit as she brushed
by me. I pushed her back. We started fighting. I have on a long sleeve
black shirt, and a black, red, and white plaid skirt with these red ankle
boots. I do notknow where the strength came from. I lost it. I was so
mad at her. All I wanted her to dowas to leave. I did not want to fight
her. She was my friend. I loved her as well. “Howdid we get here? What
has gotten into you? What has gotten into us? Who the heck haveyou
been around?” I looked out my bay window. There were a few police cars
parked atthe corner of 10th and I Street.

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I ran down the steps to ask them to help me to remove an unwanted
guest. Little did I know my life was about to change forever. I saw a few
officers who were my friends. I am extremely happy because I used to
dispatch them. The female officer had a crush onme. She saw me looking
stressed. “ReCe, what’s wrong?”

“I need you all to help me get this unwanted person out of my house.”
Little did I know they were on the scene down the street with their
official. Toya put on her bright orange sweatsuit. She busted out of the
house yelling look at what you did to me. Our eyes got extremely big! I
could not believe what I was looking at. Toya’s eight braids werenow three.
Her head was bald from the middle of her head to her right ear. I could
not believe I beat her that bad. All I heard was, “This is a domestic
dispute. Are you all a couple?” I am in shock. I am looking at her like
who the heck did that to you. I know I did not do it. Meanwhile, she is
yelling, “Yes! We are a couple!” The female officer looked at me and said,
“ReCe go in the house.” I was trying to think quickly.

“Can I please go and change my clothes and shoes.” They said,
“Hurry up.” I quickly called Gee and Charm. “Get to my house now!
I am about to go to jail.” Theythought I was playing. “I am changing
my clothes now.” They heard the police radiodownstairs in my house.
Before I could change my clothes, they were there. I came downstairs
and the officers began telling us what was going to happen. I told Gee
andCharm to get my daughter from my sister when she got out of
school. This is my firsttime getting arrested so I should be out in a few
hours. “Listen out for me to call y’all in a few to come pick me up from
Central Cell Block (CCB).”

They put me in the back seat of the car. They put her in the police wagon.
I workedfor the police department for eleven and a half years and here
it is, almost a year after I left, I am getting arrested and going to the same
police station I used to dispatch for. is was a horrible nightmare. How
embarrassing is this moment? I am listening to the police radio. They had to

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run my name. These were my old coworkers taking in my information.
I could only imagine…I had to be the laughingstock.

We walked in the station. They put her in a cell with bars. I was across from her
inthis room with about four other women. It had a bunk bed with no mattress
on it. It was just metal springs. I knew I would be getting out in a few hours.
Out of nowhere, you could hear this woman screaming, “Let me out of here!
Look at what you did to me! I look like Fire Marshall Bill!” Fire Marshall Bill
is a character from In Living Color. Shewas so bald. It appeared she went to
the barbershop to get a haircut from the middle of her hair to her right ear. It
was not me! There is no way I could have done this to her. Noway possible! I
could hear the men who were in the cell next to her saying, “Damn shorty,your
girl did that to you?” All the women in the holding room where I was located
exclaimed, “You F*** her up!”

“I can roll with you.”

“Girl, you’re straight and she tried to turn you out.”

I don’t want to talk to them though. The door to the room had a vertical glass
window. There were too many officers to count who came and looked through
the window. I have family members who are officers too. I was able to see one
of my cousinsand told her to let my sister know where I was and not to tell
our parents. Fortunately, I got a release to come out to answer a phone call. A
sergeant who knows my parents had already called them before checking on me.
The whole time I kept thinking Gee is on herway to get me out of this mess, do not
call my parents. And guess what? She never showedup. I couldn’t understand why
she did this to me because I knew she had my daughter. Why the heck did you
call my parents? What did you call them for?

After standing there posing for the camera, taking my official mugshots, my
old officers, were all coming in the building to see Dispatcher 214. Next up,
fingerprints. I amtrying to hold it together and not cry. Then, you could hear
the loud voice again. “Let meout of here! Look at what you did to me! I look like
Fire Marshall Bill! Toya could see meas I was walking back to the holding room.

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She lowered her voice. “Stink, Stink.” Her voice got louder as she was pulling on
the bars like an animal in a cage. She was bangingon the bars! “Stink! I love you!
I am sorry! I made you do this to me.” I just looked at herand rolled my eyes as
the officer guided me back to the cell room.

A lady who called herself Big Redds. She was straight ghetto, began talking to
me!“Hey boo! Don’t worry about her. I will take care of you. I would never fight
you.” She started touching me. I was so numb that I didn’t even entertain her.
She was rubbing herhands over my head as she was saying, “You will be okay.
Is this your first time getting locked up?” I think I was shaking my head yes. As
you can imagine, so many things were going through my mind. What am I doing
with my life? God, please forgive me. I am so sorry.

Bigg Redds was still asking questions, but I was zoned out.

“Boo! I will love you and I will take care of you. You are pretty. Damn! You do
not look like you were in a fight. There were more officers peeping through
the window to make sure it was Dispatcher 214. Everyone was gone. I did not
know what time it was, but hours have gone by. I could still hear this tired
hoarse voice sounding like a broken record. “Let me out of here! Look at what
you did to me! I look like Fire Marshall Bill! Stink! Stink! I love you. I am sorry!
Then a male inmate said, “Shut up already, Fire Marshall Bill!” My eyes were
getting heavy. I was so sleepy. The only place to sit is on the metal bed, and I am
cold. Left in these four walls all by myself. This is my first offenseever. I thought
I was going to be released on my own recognizance. When I woke up, they
were taking me straight to the Marshall Cell Block instead of CCB. I was in the
backof a wagon. Toya and I ended up riding down with a few other women.
She was on one side, and I was on the other. When we arrived at the Marshall
Cell Block, I did not knowany of the officers. I was starting to believe this was
a blessing. If I had gone to CCB, I would have known all the police officers.
To use the restroom, we had to stoop over a little toilet bowl which was in an
open area.

I felt like I was in a twilight zone. Our group was moved into another area.
We were getting one step closer to seeing the judge. There was a lady who kept

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coming to speak with a lady who was in the room with us. She was beaten by
her boyfriend one time too many times. She finally took matters into her own
hands. She stabbed him. He was holding onto his life. They came in the room
to advise her she may be charged for 1st degree murder. I was in there quietly
praying for everyone. We were getting closer togoing into the courtroom to see
the judge. It was so much chaos going on with the prisoner. I could tell a few of
them it was their first time being arrested like me. Then youhad your regulars.
It was a normal routine. Finally, they called us. If I can be very honest,I do not
remember anything the judge said, but you are free to go home. We were out
thedoor. I was still upset for allowing this to happen to me. All these years I never
have beenarrested. Thank you, Jesus it is not on my record. This has been the
worst 31 hours I everhad. She still lived with me. We rode home together. When
we got to the house, we bothagreed to never disrespect each other. Differently,
no more fighting. We were friends anddid love each other.

One day, I arrived home from work. She was already at my house waiting
to take me out to dinner. I told her I had to go shower and change my
clothes. She drove this oldbeat-up car. I was not getting in it. We drove
my Mercedes. Of course, she was showing off driving it. She is my
partner, so I allowed her to chauffeur me. She was dressed upwith her
collar button-up shirt with nice black slacks and square toe shoes. We
went to avery nice restaurant. She had the waiter bring me beautiful
roses. It was not a specialoccasion. She stood up and got down on one
knee. She grabbed my hand and slipped this beautiful diamond ring on
my finger. She asked me to be her wife. I am shocked. My mind was
going a million miles. I left the room for a minute. It is not possible. We
can’tdo this… It is not legal in DC (2001). It’s not possible. Before I knew
it, I said Yes! We left and celebrated. I could not wait to let my sister Gee
know what had finally happened to me. Finally, someone who is faithful,
loyal, and honest to me.

Gee and Charm went into planning mode. You know Charm was the Emcee
for “The Wet.” She called the promoter and told her to make this happen. “We

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are going to plan the baddest wedding at the club on September 29th, 2001. It
happens to be ReCe’s birthday. She will be 30! It will be a big day for them. Let’s
do it! She loves all of us!” Ms.Vee said, “Absolutely, I love new ideas.” Chile, Ms.
Vee was always about her coins. Wewill be the first to do this. Besides the club
already was going to have a big white tent inthe parking lot with chairs in it.
We will set it up for a ceremony. Gee and I started with the planning. The color
scheme, food, private guest, cake, etc.! The color scheme was trulyeasy. We have
eight colors to choose from. pink for sexuality, red for life, orange for healing,
yellow for sun, green for nature, blue for art, indigo for harmony, and violet
for spirit. Before becoming synonymous with fabulous pride movements, the
rainbow flag has stood for many social movements. My favorite color is red.
Since I had red and blackfor my first wedding. We will use all the colors. We
ordered our cake from the Giant foodstore located on the corner of 8th and
O Street NW, DC. Who knew we would have all the rainbow colors on the
cake? The baker was a dominant female. She admitted she hadnever designed
a rainbow cake. But she was family, so she was elated to design it for us.Our
plans were underway. We knew who was on our private guest list. The both of
us invited our immediate family. We understood everyone’s beliefs. We did not
expect themto come. It was intimate and cute. My Supervisor Dawn even came
to celebrate us. He gave us a beautiful African statue. In the club, there were
several dressing rooms in the back. We had a great team of people working to
get everything all set up. My sister Gee was my maid of honor, and she was
beautiful in her form-fitted red dress. We had a singer who had everyone in tears
when he sang “Ribbon in the Sky.”

It was a gorgeous day outside to have a ceremony under a tent. It was a thousand
people on the inside of the club waiting for us to finish our private commitment
ceremony. There were no legal documents. It was my 30th birthday which was
a double celebration for me. We partied and had a grand ole time. Some habits
cannot be broken. The bliss lasted a few months. Toya started hanging with
people who appeared to be up to no good. I could not tell if she was using drugs
or not. She truly was becoming an alcoholic. I was working hard for a bright

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future. She did not have any ambition, so she had to go. I wanted more for me
and my daughter.

I was putting the pieces back together. Of course, I was still hanging with my
sisterand Charm. After that, I met Spark who was eight years older than me. I
once had a crushon her. She and Charm called each other cousins. She had this
swag about her. She was always well dressed. Besides her dark skin, her teeth
were better than a Colgateadvertisement, they are so bright and white. Spark
was about 5’10”, was well groomedwith a nice shape up and freshly maintained
locs. In the beginning she had to close somedoors before we got into a serious
relationship. She was a supervisor at the local cablecompany. Finally, a mature
dominant woman. It didn’t take long for the community toknow we were one.
One of the things we both loved to do was travel. We once went ona huge
group trip with her friends to Deep Creek, Maryland. It was about three
hoursfrom Washington, DC, and we rented three huge houses for the trip.
Her brother, Pat,was the ringleader. Him and his lover set it up for everyone
to come. It was gays andstraights on this trip. Most of them worked at the
cable company too. Spark was my best friend, lover, and confidant. Finally,
someone who gets me! When we stepped out it wasthe perfect combination.
Spark was very mature. Many of her good friends were mucholder than she
was. I could even imagine how life was for them years ago. They werecalled
lipstick lesbians or dykes. A lipstick lesbian is a slang term used to describe
gay (lesbian) and bisexual women who exhibit feminine gender attributes,
such as wearingmake-up (thus, lipstick), wearing dresses or skirts, and perhaps
having other characteristics associated with feminine women. The term dyke
is a slang term, used as anoun meaning lesbian and as an adjective describing
things associated with lesbianism.It originated as a homophobic slur for a
masculine, butch, tomboyish girl, or woman.They were old school for sure.
What I loved about the older lesbians is they have beentogether for years and
their relationships reminded me of my parents. Most of them havebeen with
their lovers for years. It made me think I could truly be happy in a relationship
with a woman for the rest of my life. I must be honest. I was struggling. Finally, I
am witha good woman who also loves God and understood me.

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Chapter 8

COWBOY BOOTS

RIDE ON

She is coming around the mountain when she comes. I have to get on my high
horse and get out of here! We were the best of friends, traveling out of town
on so manytrips. We even went to her hometown of Rochester, NY. Her family
loves me. My familyloves her. The year of my parents 50th Wedding anniversary
we wanted them to travel all year. My dad was fearful of flying, but I was able
to talk my father into flying to Rochester, since it is a 45-minute flight. Who
would have ever thought in my wildest dreams my parents would fly with me
and my lover to meet her parents? My baby and I would jump on the road and
drive to Rochester, NY. This time was special. Although it was weird, it was so
cool for our parents to bond. They loved us so much it never felt likethey didn’t
want us together. I always heard people say they love the person and hate the

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sin. My parents stayed in a hotel near her parents’ house. We stayed at her older
sister’s house. This is where we stayed every time, we went up there.

We took my parents on a tour of the city. We drove by the Kodak building.
I was excited to see the building, we could not miss it. The Kodak Tower was
recognized as a landmark in the Rochester Skyline. It meant a lot to me because
I always took lots of pictures. When we went from a Polaroid camera to the
box camera I was in love. The entire trip was amazing. We went back to the
airport on the last day after we said our goodbyes. My dad always told me
what “The Bible” said. He didn’t throw the Bible up in my face. He simply
enjoyed meeting my lover’s family. It was a great time! We cameback home to
our normal working lives.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR! IT’s 2006!

We were at a house party with some of Spark’s older friends. The parties were
always classy and fun. I was always amazed at how all these beautiful same sex
couples were embracing each other. Although we were at a party, we stopped
to pray and give God glory for seeing another year. I was hanging with my
love. I felt a little weird at 12’oclock because I was not actually in a church. I
was brought up in the church on New Year’s. I was always told, how you bring
your year in will set the tone for how your year is going to be. Who knew
2006 would be the year I would come around the mountain? At this moment,
I am loving my best friend. It’s January, and we started making plans to travel
throughout the year.

My cell phone rang. It is my Babe. I answered, “Hey Babe!” She normally plays
on the phone, but her voice sounded different. “Babe what’s wrong?” I am
thinking Lawd, please don’t let it be any of her family in Rochester. “Babe
what’s wrong?” Her brother passed away and one of her good friends “Duck”
was in the hospital fighting lung cancer.My God! I prayed for her strength. We
made plans to drive to NY. I was able to get timeoff my job to ride with her. We
drove straight to her mother’s house. The church memberswere bringing big pots
of home cooked meals and baked goods. It was enough food to feed an army.

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The family is well loved. One of her other brothers came from North Carolina
with his lover. He is the comedian in the family, the one you will see at church
dressed sharper than a steak knife. He was keeping the family laughing and
crying at thesame time. Mom was showing her strength. She appeared to be at
peace. She was busy encouraging everyone to be strong because her son was in
a better place.

On the day of the funeral, Spark was going through changes. She’s never wore
anything feminine since I have known her, but her mother was not playing with
her coming into the church with pants on or looking like a man. Well, there’s
a first time for everything. We tried to make sure she had the right shoes. You
know me, I am so feminine all I wearis dresses and at least 5” heels. My lover
on the other hand, not so much, and it was hardto watch her struggle while
wearing a dress.

During the part of the service when people were allowed to make remarks, most
were sharing how he had received Christ as his Lord and Savior. No matter what
you thought you saw, he was saved. I was in my head thinking I do not want
people to try to convince others about my life. I had checked out of the service
for a few minutes to think,what would people say about me? How am I living
my life?

After the service, the rest of the day was a blur to me. We were back at the
house,and I was sitting in the living-room talking to Spark’s brother “Sharp-
dresser.” I shared with him my thoughts from the comments at church. I called
him brother. “Brother, you are active in your church and gay too. You are bold
and confident. You are always servingat church. Today, it hit me so hard. I am
saved. I gave my life to Christ. I don’t have a church home right now, but I do
have a relationship with God. I do not want to die anytime soon and not have
a church. And Brother, everyone was trying to convince us your brother was
saved and made it in heaven. I don’t want to try to convince people. I want my
life to speak for me. I am not saying his life didn’t. All I am saying they made
me sad standing in front of the congregation sounding as if they were in court
pleadinga case because he was gay. He did make it to heaven.”

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Brother, with his anointed self, was not on joke time. He looked at me and
said, “ReCe, you pray and ask God to lead you to a good church, where they
are preaching theBible. Get with the mothers of the church. You listen to them
and get all the wisdom theyhave to offer. God loves and cares for us. You will be
just fine.” He made me feel better.I was still thinking, ‘this little light of mine
I am going to let it shine.’ We continued to bewith the family the rest of the
evening. We went back to her sister’s house to get some rest, so we can get on
the road the next day. We hugged her sisters, brother, niece and nephew. Here
we go around and through the mountain. We always saw the Amish families
riding there buggy and horse. Many would be walking on the road as well. It
does not matter what community you are in, there should always be love. They
all appeared to love each other.

I get a phone call from Spark, and she doesn’t sound happy. We need to get
to thehospital to see Duck. Duck is a big-time promoter in the gay community.
Everyone knows her around the country. I would even say in some other
countries as well. Her parties always have hundreds of women at times, and
many times she had to turn people away at the door. Duck and Spark were like
brothers. We got off work and met at my house. I jumped in the truck with
Spark to go see Duck. They had her in ICU. Because we were on her list to
visit, they allowed us to go in. I hate going into hospitals. I don’t like the way it
smells, or the beeping noises from machines. I feel sick going into the hospital
to see the sick, but this is our family. When we walked in the room I gasped.
She had lung cancer. It was extremely hard to be in there, but she was so happy
to see us. We all criedand prayed for God to heal her. I am so glad we took time
to visit her. I know it was hardfor Babe. They were very close, and to see her like
this right after she lost her brother wasa bit much.

We continued to work, travel, and play. My daughter was a cheerleader,
so we went to a lot of her competitions. Most of them were out of town.
We went to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for one of her competitions.
It was cool because my oldest sister and her children lived one hour
away from the competition, and we got tickets for them to come to see

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her. Their team was good, and they won 1st place. We were proud of
her representing DC. Spark and I always turn any event out of town to a
vacation. They weregreat even if it was just for a few days.

The following week, I checked my phone to noticed I had a lot of missed
calls. It’s my sister/friends from the police department who I use to
dispatch with. I knew something had happened, so I tried to brace
myself for this news. They told me to lookat the news. I do not watch
the news. It is depressing, so I ask them to tell me what is going on.
When I finally turned the news on flashing across the tv screen all you
can see is D.C. Police O cer Kills Herself at 911 Center. I was in shock!
Nooooo! Noooo! What happened? She had everything going for herself.
She was happily married. She had an older daughter, and I was told she
had just had a son as well. She was one of my favoritepeople when I
work as a call taker and then a dispatcher. I shadowed and learned a great
deal from her. She always encouraged me to do me. I started questioning
God “Why didshe do this?” I was having so many thoughts. I went back
to the times when I had suicidal thoughts. I was always too scared to
commit suicide. When I was going through those thoughts, I somehow
pulled myself together to get to someone who could help.

I pulled up at the church where service was being held. I remember
walking in this beautiful Cathedral. All my old co-workers were outside
and packed inside. I was trying to keep a straight face, but all I could
think over and over in my head was “Why friend? Why did you do
this?” I could not stay there too long. I paid my respects and left.Spark
and I love hanging with our friends, but there was nothing like being
at home. Of course, she had her apartment in Southeast, but my home
was her home. We would chilland have family time watching movies.
On Sunday, I would get up like I was getting ready for church. Well, I
was getting ready for church. It was called Bedside Baptist. I know you
all heard of this church before. You probably used to go there too. Or
are you still a member? I would watch Bishop T. D. Jakes. If I could be honest

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with you, a few short years ago, I used to watch him on tv, go to his conferences
and went to the stage play “Woman thou Art Loose.” At some point, I started
getting annoyed with his voice.I was in the world living my life sinning and
I didn’t want to hear his voice because I knew I would be convicted. But now,
I started hearing again. I would listen to the sermon as if I was in person at
the Potter’s House. I would cry like a baby. I would shout and domy dance. I
praised God like no one was watching me. I still sent my daughter to church
with my sister. I never wanted her to be out of the house of the Lord. I didn’t
want to feellike a hypocrite. I lived with a woman who I truly loved, and she
loved me. However, there is no greater love like God.

Some nights we would fall asleep with the TV on and all the lights out. I would
wake up in the middle of the night crying. I would get out of bed, run to the
bathroom down the hall outside of my daughter’s room and fall on my knees.
I would throw up in the toilet. It reminded me of morning sickness. I would
be purging in the toilet. I would get myself together, wash and brush my teeth.
When I returned to bed, she would be fastasleep. I would climb under her and
cry myself back to sleep. She would say, “Baby it’s going to be alright.” This
happened several times a week for a few weeks. It was something I could not
stop. I did not have any alcohol to drink, so it was not a hangover.I was not
pregnant, so it was not morning sickness. All I could do was get on the floor and
hold on to the toilet bowl for dear life and ask God for forgiveness. My daughter
would come to me and say, “Mommy are you alright?” I knew God was doing
somethingon the inside of me. My eyes were watery, and my stomach muscles
were contracting asif I was pushing out something. I could not explain it.

Here we go again. We received the call we did not want to hear. Duck did
not make it.

Another funeral! God, I do not want to go anywhere anytime soon. I want to be
right withyou. We arrived at this huge mega church in Southeast and all you see
is lesbians. Therewere more than 300 lesbians alone at her funeral. Spark and
I walked in and went down the middle aisle to view the body. While everyone
was free as can be, I felt something inthe atmosphere. I was not too sure of

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exactly what it was, but I knew for sure this churchon the hill had the presence
of the Lord dwelling there. Duck was known in thecommunity from her job as
well. My sister Tee, and her childhood bestie were sitting in front of us. When
the clergy came out to start the service, it was game over. Clearly, the church on
the hill is where Duck worshipped. It was a beautiful sanctuary. They started
singing songs I remembered from childhood. I stood up and started praising
Him. Wesat in the front of the church, so I didn’t pay attention to the 200 or
more people behind us.

Here we go again, another family was trying to convince us she was saved and
made itto heaven. Then, here comes a queen. In the gay community according
to Wikipedia gayslang, queen is a term used to refer to a flamboyant gay man.
They also go by she. She was on 1000 with her energy. She got up there and had
the church in an uproar as if theywere in the club about to give up dollars. She
had the mic and looked like she was aboutto twirl, twirl, kick baby and twirl.
The queen was one of the most well-spoken MCs in the gay community. She was
very posed and classy. However, you know when you are amongst family you are
ready to perform, baby. You are always ready to serve the people.Meanwhile, I am
watching the clergy on the pulpit. Their faces were tight. They were notplaying
with what was going on in the church and the atmosphere. One of the female
clergy walked up to the mic in the pulpit and started praying to switch the
atmosphereto make it conducive for the man of God to preach. She introduced
the Pastor in the wheelchair to come up to preach the eulogy.

I was watching everything. My sister, Tee turned around to get my attention to
ask me if I remembered him. I said his face looked familiar. She said we knew
him fromdown the way. Anytime someone mentions down the way, it means
Lorton prison. He was a friend of our brother Wesley. They used to sing in the
gospel prison choir when I was a little girl. The only thing that was puzzling
to me was he was not in a wheelchair back then. He preached the eulogy. You
know the eulogy is not for the deceased. It is forthe one remaining to get their
souls right with God. When he did the altar call, so many people walked up
to give their life to Christ or re-dedicate. Remember, it was over 300. Idid not

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count, but it appeared to be about 50 people who were bold enough to walk
upto the front. I am sure there were many like myself who did it in my seat. This
is betweenGod and me.

It’s time for another road trip. My cousin Lovie was getting married! She is
my older cousin on my dad’s side of the family. Her father and my dad are the
youngest twoout of nine children. As a child, I always would go to Brooklyn,
New York to visit my uncle, aunt and their children. I really do not know how,
but Lovie and I were many yearsapart in age, but we were very close. She was
like a big sister to me. We would talk on the phone and pray together. She
always loved and supported me. Whenever she cameto DC, she would always
have somewhere to stay. She is a true testimony that God is good. She had a
stroke. She was not able to walk, talk, nor use any activities of her limbs.Did I say
she was a praying woman? I will not tell her story, but God’s story is He healed
her. We packed the car and hit the road. It was my sister Tee, my niece Keo,
Spark and Iwho rode to New Jersey for the wedding. We stayed at my cousin’s
home, who is Lovie’sbrother.

My family can cook. We smelled breakfast, so we hurried up and got dressed.
It felt like it was my momma and daddy cooking, but it was my cousin and
his wife throwing down in the kitchen. One thing for sure, you will always get
some good food, laughter, and a lot of love from my family. We all went to get
ready for the wedding. I wanted to get there early so I could get a good seat at
the end. I want to take pictures of the beautiful bride walking down the aisle.
Here comes the bridge. I mean bride. You willsee why I said bridge at first. I
wanted to make sure you were paying attention.

My cousin was beautiful and had a big Wilson smile. Her eyes had this twinkle
init as she glided so eloquently down the aisle of her church. Her Pastor was
so anointed and blessed their union. We were praising God like it was Sunday
morning church service. He was preaching their nuptials.

The reception was a PARTY! My new cousin is Jamaican. The Wilson’s? We
know how to get it in. Do you all remember my cousin who came to my

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wedding from NY? Well, her husband is the DJ. I call him DJ Superman,
which is a long story. Now, this party was jamming. Everyone in the
building was on the dance floor. Wait! Lovie The Bride was not partying.
The line for the bar was moving fast. Oh! Did I mention it is topshelf?
It’s not bottom shelf liquor at this party. When he put the reggae on you
know I ran to the dance floor. I had to wind my body. I pulled Spark
on the floor with me. You know she was smiling showing her pearly
whites. Most of the people in there were fromNew York and Jamaica so
this was a perfect blend. You heard people saying “Hey, Ho!”Jamaican’s
saying “Ya Mon” “Big up.” The drunk man in the back near the bar
was grabbing himself bending over, moving side to side. Next thing you
know he stood up tall, threw his right hand up in the air and made a lot
of noise as if he was shooting a gun.I guess this was everyone’s favorite
part. The crowd went wild. Drunk, Drunk said loud “Rudeboys.” He
has his own groove going on.

Then the atmosphere shifted. The music stopped. You saw this beautiful
Angel standing next to the DJ. It was the bridge. She stood there with the
mic in her hands so gracefully waiting with the biggest smile for everyone’s
undivided attention. She said, “On behalf of my husband and I, we want to
thank each and every one of you for comingnear and far,” as she looked around
the room. She thanked her new in-laws for travelingfrom Jamaica. She turned
her head to the right to acknowledge us for coming from Washington, DC. She
thanked everyone who participated in making their day a success.She was still
smiling as she looked at all of us with a twinkle in her eyes.

“This party was for you all. I do not drink; the open bar was for you. Did I
mention, it was top shelf? The music and DJ, it was for you.” Lovie continued
with her speech. “Family, if you want to know how I party. Oh yeah! I party!
I just don’t party like this anymore. I want you to meet me back at the church
where we got married. I will show you how I get down.” I was so convicted. I
already told you her pastor was preaching hernuptials. I know Sunday morning
service would be on fire. Ever since I could rememberwe always partied when I

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went to New York. If my cousin is partying for Jesus I want tostay. I looked at
my sister Tee, Spark and my niece. I said, “Um... I want to stay. Are westaying?”
I guess she convinced all of us. They all said yes at the same time as if they were
glad, I mentioned it first. We enjoyed the rest of our night. We went back to
my cousin’s house. Personally, I could not wait for the morning to come. I
wanted to hurry up to get to the house of the Lord. We all showered and went
to sleep. We woke up and headed back to the church. When we pulled up it was
cars everywhere parked abreast. There wasno parking at all. We drove around
the block. The church had people standing out front trying to get in the small
church. There were so many people on the steps trying to get out and into the
building. We were all being pushed into the building.

We finally got in and found a seat. The church did not have a standing room.
Thefloor is hardwood, and with all the weight from the people it felt as if we
were going to fall in. The benches were so close together, I banged my knees
trying to sit down. I was so excited about the presence of God I felt, the pain
in my knee went away. This truly was not church the way I grew up. I had an
epiphany. This was not the religious doctrineI was used to. I was at church with
my lover. We had on pants. Everyone in the church was open and free to praise.
I was not used to not being judged one way or the other. Tears ran down my
face, as I tried so hard to hold them back. Before I knew it, I was caught up
in the spirit. I was lifting my hands. Then, I began to dance like David. I had
to get out of the row. I told y’all the benches were close. Of course, I hit my
knee again, but it didn’t stop me from shouting. Of course, my sister, niece and
cousins were shouting(praising God) too. I mean we all used to dance on the
dance floor at the club. Now, we are giving it up for Jesus. This was the first
time I could truly say I went to church as I was. I was in a lesbian relationship.
I went to church with jeans on! Oh my! Even to thisday I will not step foot in
my parents’ church with pants on. Now, I felt free to praise Him! I could not
believe how I was caught up in The Spirit. It was bigger than the musicplaying.
It was a refreshing encounter with God. When church was over, we said our
goodbyes and headed back to DC.

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I felt different. I knew I was in a relationship with my best friend. We had the
best time ever. She treated me so well. Finally, someone who loves and respects
me. We are ateam! We tried to go back to working and hanging out with our
friends. I was quiet whenwe went back to the clubs. I was convicted when the
entertainer would perform a gospel.It was different than before. I knew it was
time for me to leave this life. I was torn becauseI met the best people, those who
love you unconditionally. They love God, too! They praised Him. They are my
family and friends. When we got home from work it was silent.We would try
to cuddle and watch tv. We would fall asleep with the TV on and all the lights
out. Then, it started happening again. I would wake up in the middle of the
night crying. I jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom, and fell on my knees. I
would throw upin the toilet just like before. Again, purging in the toilet. I would
get myself together, washand brush my teeth. When I returned to bed she said,
“I know.” I should have known shewas very attuned to me.

In July 2006, Spark called me and stated she was going to stay at her apartment
that night when she got off work. Her neighbor advised there were new
people living in her building. She lived on the ground floor. She pretty much
lived with me; they never see her at home. This night I was at peace with
her decision. My daughter and I had mommy daughter time. We cooked and
watched movies. I put her to bed. I went into myroom and turned the lights off
and turned on the TV. Apparently, I fell asleep. This is thenight my life changed
forever. I was awakened by the Holy Spirit. I felt Him touching myhands and if
he was drawing me to Him. I woke up crying and speaking in tongues. I was
saying, “Yes, Sir. I am coming” I thought I was dreaming. I saw a Spirit leaving
outof my room. I could not really talk. I was not speaking English. Tears were
coming down.I kept saying “Yes, Sir… I am coming.” The moment I realized
my light was on and myTV was off is when I knew I was not dreaming. It was an
encounter. I saw the back of theSpirit. I got out of the bed and fell to my knees.
I prayed and cried out to God.

God, please forgive me for all my sins, known and unknown. You have created me.
I do notwant to live my life without you. I am in a relationship with a woman

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whom I love. Please giveme the strength to walk away. God, guide me in the way
I am to go. God, please give me the wordsto say to her. I do not want to hurt her.
God gave me a vision of the church he was leading me to. It was the church
I went to for Duck’s funeral with the 300+ lesbians in attendance. God
today is only Wednesday. I want to keep this feeling I have to make it
to Sunday.No matter what, I am going to church. I want to rededicate
my life to Christ. Keep mymind and my heart stayed on you, Lord. In
Jesus name. Amen!

After spending time with God, it was time for me to go to work. I had
to drop mydaughter off to my parents’ house, so they could take her to
school. I was drunk in the spirit as I was driving to work. Our radio
station WHUR 96.3 had started a newsyndicated show with Steve
Harvey. Most Washingtonians were upset about him coming to DC.
However, I was led to listen. He came on at 6:00 am. He started with
an inspirational talk. It was confirmation to what I had just experienced
hours ago. He spokeabout needing a spiritual walk with God. I arrived
at work, Discovery Communicationin Silver Springs, MD. I had to walk
to the building from the parking lot which was dark.I was always at work
extremely early. I was the first one from my team in the office. I called
my sister Tee. She answered the phone and was still half asleep. I told
her my encounter. She broke out in high praise. “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Thank you, Jesus! Thankyou, Jesus! Yes! God! You’re a good God!”

If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she was in church. It
sounded like she was doing a praise dance on the other end of the phone.
I am sure she woke my parents up. Their room was next door to hers. I
am on the other end crying again. My sister always loved and supported
me in everything I did. She loves Spark. It did not have anything to do
with her at all. The very next call I made was to my favorite male cousin.
He is a Minister. Remember, it is before 7:00 am. He answered, “What’s
up, cuz?You good?” I could barely talk. I am overjoyed. I said, “Cousin
I am better than good.” Next thing I know I was speaking in tongues

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