Pearls POW

PEARLS of WISDOM

DIANE MOORE

Pearls of Wisdom
Copyright © 2019 by Diane Moore
All rights reserved. This book nor any portion thereof may be reproduced or used in any
manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for
the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Printed in the United States of America ISBN: 978-1-64550-990-5

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Table of Contents

PREFACE �����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������V
FORWARD ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������VII
INTRODUCTION �������������������������������������������������������������������������������� XI
PART 1 ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������1

PEARLS OF PREPARATION ���������������������������������������������������������1
RISE EARLY �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������1
PREPARATION ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������4
MEDITATION �����������������������������������������������������������������������������������6
PART 2 �����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������9
PEARLS AT HOME ��������������������������������������������������������������������������9
FAMILY �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������11
COOKING ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������13
MEAL PREPARATION ������������������������������������������������������������������16
CLEANING �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������24
LAUNDRY GUIDE ������������������������������������������������������������������������26
PART 3 ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������29

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PEARLS OF BECOMING �������������������������������������������������������������29
SELF-CARE ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������29
BEAUTY AND DISCIPLINE ��������������������������������������������������������32
CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY ������������������������������������������������41
PART 4 ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������45
PEARLS OF LIFE ��������������������������������������������������������������������������45
FAITH ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������47
DEATH ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������48
INHERITANCE ������������������������������������������������������������������������������49
AFTERWORD ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������56
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ������������������������������������������������������������������59
ABOUT THE AUTHOR �����������������������������������������������������������������������63
PEARLS OF WISDOM WORK BOOK ���������������������������������������������65

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PREFACE

This book is a journey through journaling; it will make you laugh at times,
and perhaps cry at others. No apologies; that’s how I do it. It will also
make you meditate occasionally as you discover that your mother and my
mother were very basic, simple, uncomplicated women who only wanted
the best for their families, the best way they knew how. As we travel
together through this book, I have two wishes. For those who have lost
their mothers, may it comfort you immensely; and for those who still have
living mothers, may you learn to appreciate and honor them even more.
My suggestion: don’t rush through this. I believe this book is meant to
heal the brokenhearted and bring down the walls that have been stopping
you from moving into your own destiny. Do not look back; instead, look
ahead as you begin to understand the importance of God creating mothers
and giving them wisdom, even if sometimes they did not know it or
understand.
From the businesswoman to the woman on welfare… we all need this
information.

v

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FORWARD

Diane’s rich insight on lessons taught by her mother mirrors many of the
stories and life lessons I gleaned from my own mother – who happens
to be 88 years young. From foundational home essentials to life-guiding
principles, this book contains invaluable wisdom for women of all ages.
I’ve witnessed Diane raising three children as a single mother while
attending and serving at our church. I can personally attest to the fruits
of wisdom I see in her life. I encourage you to adhere to the priceless
information outlined in this book, so that you too can possess and pass
down the many pearls of wisdom.
Dr. Deloris (Dee Dee) Freeman

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Dear friends,

All it takes is one book to make all the difference in your life. Perhaps
you have received this book as a gift; perhaps you purchased it yourself,
or maybe you know the author personally and just wanted to show your
support. Whatever the reason, I deeply hope that broken hearts will be
healed, broken relationships will be mended, and bridges will be built to
restore the heart and mind of the reader.

To understand something, you must define its intended purpose. Let’s talk
first about what a pearl is. A natural pearl begins its life inside an oyster’s
shell when an intruder, such as a grain of sand or a bit of floating food,
slips in between the two shells of the oyster – a type of mollusk – and
the protective layer that covers the mollusk’s organs, called the mantle
appears.

In order to protect itself from irritation, the oyster will quickly begin
covering the uninvited visitor with layers of nacre – the mineral substance
that fashions the mollusk’s shells. Layer upon layer of nacre, also known
as mother–of–pearl, coat the grain of sand, until an iridescent sphere is
formed.

Cultured pearls are made in the same way. The only difference is that
instead of waiting for accidental circumstance to plant the seed, a “pearl
farmer” embeds a grain of sand into the mollusk.

Whether you are a product of natural birth, in-vitro conception, or
adoption, every person on earth came by way of a mother’s womb.
The goal and intent of the seed, once fully formed and brought forth, is
gradually enveloped via similar principles to those that fashion a pearl.
The mother serves as a cultivator: one who brings forth life, one who

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nurtures, and one who loves. She replicates the same process, reflecting
love and purpose into the hearts and minds of those in her charge until the
two create an iridescent gem, much in the same way as the oyster creates
the pearl. Even if you have not experienced the relationship of a natural
mother, I believe you can almost certainly name someone in your life –
either past or present – who mirrors that relationship.

The foundation of this philosophy comes down to this: You can choose
to live in the past and hold on to unforgiveness concerning a life dealt to
you, or create the life you want for yourself and others, no matter how
difficult it may seem, by understanding how small, positive steps make a
difference over time.

It’s the little things you do every day, things that don’t even seem to matter,
that actually matter the most.

Through this book, I decree that change shall take place, hearts and minds
shall be renewed, relationships shall be restored and generations to come
shall be redeemed back to their original place in history. I pray that you
discover untapped potential while mapping out how to navigate this new
life that you are destined to find, and if you keep looking, will bump right
into. It really isn’t a mystery. It’s been all around you, woven through
your conversations with other people. However, I will say that the key is
to open up your mouth and be bold enough to speak. Be bold enough to
conquer your fears regarding the next steps.

Diane

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INTRODUCTION

I have a 90-year-old mother. She no longer drives a car but misses it. She
now spends her days still enjoying her independence. She still lives on her
own. Meeting new friends as many of her friends have passed away. She
enjoys the simple things in life and imparting her wisdom even when she
does not realize she is doing so. Yet she still manages to unintentionally
drop golden pearls of wisdom – pearls that I used to disregard as “just
mom rantings” in my younger years. If only I had paid half the attention to
my mom, then that I am paying to her now. Her legacy. The wisdom that
she has imparted throughout generations. In this book you will find take-
aways from the wisdom we have shared in each chapter. It is my hope
that in reading our take-aways that you too can remember the endearing
wisdom that has become a part of your legacy as well. Much like the pearl
in its development someone in our lives have shaped and molded who
we are, how we think and what we have shared that has passed through
generation after generations

As the matriarch of our family, my mom has been generous with her
love and knowledge. She has had a major impact on her children, my
children and even, I am sure, future generations with her instructions on
life. Because of her, I know that any material gain we may come across
can’t compare to the most important reward… serving people and being
of service.

Her words of wisdom are not meant to condemn. I am finding that many
in life were not afforded these pearls that were around me every day. I
pray that my mom’s wisdom will be a blessing to all who open the pages

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of this book.
Perhaps, as you read along, you may recall your own special memories of
your mother, or perhaps memories of your spiritual mom, adopted mother,
aunt, schoolteacher or mentor. Each chapter will contain a journal for you
to express your own thoughts and reflections. I hope to pass down this
book to the generations that will follow me as a way of continuing our
family’s legacy… our priceless pearls.

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Part 1

PEARLS of PREPARATION

The state of being prepared or to make ready.

My mother’s pearls have prepared me to do life and do it well. You
see, the simple things often get tossed in favor of new technology and a
faster way of doing things. However, the principles of a simplistic life are
still the best basics of a good life. When all the technology fails, there are
still rewarding ways to live.

RISE EARLY
While I was growing up, I remember the years when my mother raised
us as a single parent, working outside the home. My mother started the
habit of getting up early and taking care of the family prior to leaving the
house. I’m grown now with children of my own, but my mother still gets
up early to take care of her home.
Her routine consists of rising every morning between the hours of
4 a.m. and 5 a.m., cleaning her already clean home, vacuuming, and
sometimes mopping her kitchen floor. Once her morning cleaning is
complete, she fixes herself breakfast and watches the morning news. In
all my 60 years, she has never once broken this routine. It is amazing, as
all her children and grandchildren are exactly the same way.
This has stuck with me for several reasons. When I was a young

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mother, waking up early gave me the extra quiet time that I needed to
refuel. As I got older, I used that alone time to meditate; it also allowed me
to get a head start on my day. And did you know that most hair salons are
empty in the morning? Starting your day early, without feeling rushed, is
a guaranteed way to achieve your goals for that day.

I read somewhere that the main reason women are naturally frazzled
is because we carry the world on our shoulders. We are thinking and
feeling creatures who were created as helpers. A helper is one who
“makes it easier for someone to do something,” by offering their services
or resources. In other words, by definition, women are always pouring
out from themselves into others - as daughters, sisters, wives, mothers,
professionals, friends and more.

So why does it feel so hard sometimes? Because we are often running
on empty. Our wells are often bone-dry. We are working, loving, cleaning,
caring, organizing, arranging, grocery shopping, preparing, nurturing,
and dealing with the mundane tasks that make up every day. We are the
caretakers of both the day-to-day and the long-term, and because we often
give without replenishing, we find ourselves empty.

Allowing for quiet time is essential. Today we call it “self-care.”
Everyone needs to find some way to relax. Whether it’s listening to an
audiobook or practicing yoga, you need something that quiets the mind.

Mom always says, “The early bird gets the worm”, so my day usually
starts around 4 a.m. at the gym. Once I complete about an hour and a half
of my workout, I check my calendar to see what I have scheduled for the
day, and then I move on to emails. In the past, I would buy calendars or
planners that I hardly looked at, let alone wrote in. Now, like most people,

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DIANE MOORE

I govern life from the palm of my hand. One morning while working out,
I received an email from one of my favorite grocery stores stating that the
first person in line at the new grand-opening would have an opportunity
to win a shopping spree! Because my day had already started, it was easy
for me to drop by and be first in line. After camping outside for an hour or
so, and beating everyone there, I received my free shopping spree.

Although I was first in line, humility was necessary. As we waited in
line, I began assisting the staff by serving coffee to the patrons and helped
wherever I could. My mom is a great encourager as well. She always
thinks about others before she thinks of herself.

Preparation also helps prevent poor performance. Before I left the
house that morning, I added a banana and a bottle of water to my bag,
just in case anything came up. As a result, I was not stuck standing in line
hungry without breakfast. My mother taught me first hand to always be
prepared.

Getting up early by myself allows me time to prepare for my day.
I never feel rushed or pressured. When my children were young, little
could be done when they were up, so arising early was an incredible and
resourceful way for me take a long shower or bathe, to read my Bible,
meditate, cook meals and clean up anything that was not taken care of
the night before. In fact, I found the time to write this book by rising
early. In the Bible there is a passage about a woman that recommends
this approach. Proverbs 31:15 reads: ”She gets up while it is still night to
prepare food for her family. She tells her servant women what they should
do.” This woman is called a “Virtuous Woman” – defined, it simply means
a woman with high standards.

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PREPARATION

I am the youngest of five children. Growing up, I watched my mother
juggle two or even three different jobs to provide for her family. We never
went without. In fact, her legacy has been, God Bless the child that got
his own.

Even though she did not make much, she worked and strove to be the
best employee she could. My mother would go on to instill in us that it is
not how much you make, but what you do with what you have that makes
the difference. She did not believe in relying on government assistance.
She organized and prepared her bills, planned her meals for the week,
and taught us the importance of always putting money aside in case of an
emergency; all of which she continues to do today.

I often laugh at how more is caught than taught. My oldest daughter,
for example, is a serious planner. Everything has its own necessary place.
Important documents are always in a special folder. She even spends
her Sunday evenings planning her week. It sometimes can be a little
overwhelming, especially since she has two little ones of her own, but I
never realized where she picked up this habit until I started writing this
book.

My life includes a regular series of planning sessions. From personal
development to savings to various goals that I have, there are numerous
stages. At the beginning of each year, I like to make goals for each area
of my life. One of those goals this year included writing this book. There
is a balance to life. Everything cannot be built on a whim.

With the proper amount of planning, anything is possible. Planning is
essential, not only to stay on track during a process, but also to finishing

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DIANE MOORE

well. This is one of the main pearls I noted while listening to my mother. I
realized that I had a personal responsibility to my growing family.

I remember when my mother came to live with me shortly after my
divorce. One of the first things she shared with me was the importance
of having a weekly meal plan for my household. Trust me: I resisted at
first, because it seemed so much a waste of my time to prepare plans that
would take almost an entire day to do; however, what a beautiful outcome
to it all! I no longer felt the pressure of trying to figure out what to feed
my children each day. I did not have to unfreeze or unthaw a thing, and I
did not have to shove fast food down their throats each day. (Even though
I am sure they would not have complained about that.) No, each day I
had a beautifully arranged smorgasbord of cooked vegetables, meats and
starches that just had to be heated up each day.

It’s funny now to see people paying a premium for meal plans that do
basically the same thing. It just goes to show that they really do add value
and merit to a work/life balance even if you must create your own.

My mom’s wisdom helped me be a better steward over my already
stretched budget and focus on what was my most valuable commodity:
my children During those times of rising early, I found meditation to be
a wonderful way to relax my mind in my quiet times. Here is a list of
scriptures I found helpful.

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MEDITATION

Nehemiah 8:10

The joy of the Lord is my strength

Psalms 23 in its entirety

The book of Proverbs – I like reading a verse each day

Amos 9:13-15 (Message Bible)

Yes, indeed, it won’t be long now. “God’s decree. Things are going
to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the
other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once
– and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the
mountain and hills. I’ll make everything right again for my people Israel
(read all the way down to where it says God, your God says so.

Mark 11:24 (Amplified)

Have faith in God (constantly). I assure you and most solemnly say
to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the
sea!’ and does not doubt in his heart (in God’s unlimited power), but
believes that what he says is going to take place, it will be done for him
(in accordance with God’s will)

For this reason I am telling you, whatever things you ask for in prayer
(in accordance with God’s will), believe (with confident trust) that you
have received them, and they will be given to you.

Luke 6:38

Give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, and

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DIANE MOORE

shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things

not seen.
2nd Corinthians 5:7
For we walk by faith, not by sight.
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.
PEARLS of WISDOM
Diane’s Take-aways:
1. Life is a series of good or bad habits. Getting up early to start
your day will require discipline; however, when you see the
positive results and how it impacts your life and what’s around
you, I guarantee you will feel increased.
2. Prepare for what you want in life. Nothing just happens. Stop
comparing yourself to others and adjust your life around your
wants, needs and desires. Start small and work your way up to
larger plans. But do start.
3. Your destiny will depend upon how you prepare for it. Stop wasting
anymore time. Challenge yourself to prepare and complete what
you start.

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8

Part 2

PEARLS at HOME

the balance of home and family

Right now, I’m imagining you curled up on your couch with a steaming
cup of tea, coffee, or whatever your libation of choice may be, fresh-faced
after a long day, searching for an easier way to do it all. Just imagine me
raising my own hot cup of tea back at you, friend. I get it. Life is a lot
sometimes.

The work you do in and for your home, cultivating a space full of order
and love, is called homemaking; a word that has fallen out of style. Being
domestic is frowned upon these days because everyone thinks that making
money is the only way to succeed. But homemaking is actually defined as
“the creation and management of a home, especially as a pleasant place in
which to live.” What’s wrong with that?

I absolutely love the bold simplicity of that definition. I believe it’s
what we all desire for our homes; that our spaces might be thoughtfully
crafted, orderly, and well managed, and that they will foster life, love and
positive memories.

There are so many taste and styles to a home that I am not going to
tell you how to furnish your home. My take-away here is to focus on
the respect and love a home provides. A home where honor is central.

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A home where children feel safe and are heard. A place where gratitude
and gratefulness are practiced. A place where people want to spend time
and can’t wait to get back to when they’re away. Creature comforts and
things can’t do what people do. I am not suggesting that every day will not
come with its own set of challenges; however, with conflict there must be
resolution. We must learn to value each other.

I do believe that people must be careful to not make their homes into
fancy shrines where they are not comfortable. And yet, I also believe that
you must take care of the things that you have as well. I think my favorite
rooms are my kitchen and family room. It is the gathering spot where we
eat, yet also spend quality time just being together.

My mother, who had a very simple life, was taught by her mother,
who was taught in turn by her mother and so on, for generations before
her. We get so wound up these days about the word “domestic;” however,
when I was growing up children had chores, dinners were prepared, and
household affairs were all a part of the everyday home life.

I must say, I do not regret learning how to wash, clean, iron or cook,
but I used to ask myself why my mom would choose to cook and clean
all day and night. Now I understand that there is a certain level of pride
in seeing your home clean and smelling good. I see those same habits in
myself and my daughters. Establishing pride in our homes is important to
us.

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DIANE MOORE

FAMILY

Born Lizzie Lee Mitchell, my mother was the youngest of twelve
children. Her parents, William and Minnie Mitchell of Cheraw, South
Carolina, were sharecroppers. Growing up, her father worked at the WPA,
and at a young age she would cook breakfast for her entire family before
they all went to work. Once she was out of school, she would clean the
house and begin to prepare dinner. Notice that she had a daily routine,
even when she was younger.

She has often told me that she and her siblings have always been
close. As much as they fuss with each other, I believe her. Her first best
friend was her older sister, Julia. She, her sister and two of her brothers all
moved to Washington, D.C., and would later live in the same apartment
complex for years. They were inseparable. I watched, growing up, how
important family was to her. She would go grocery shopping for them
when it was needed, or simply just to be in their company.

I have asked my mother about her fondest memories of her parents,
and she has always shared with me stories of her mother’s cooking. She
would go on to say they had much better, fresher food than we do now.
She mentioned that on special holidays and birthdays, her mother would
cook all kinds of cakes and cookies for the family.

I have always heard my mom and her siblings talk highly of their
parents. They would say they were good people and that they were taught
to be nice to everyone, to stick together, to treat others right, and to go
to church. These are all pearls of wisdom that my mother has taught my
siblings and me. On occasion, I laugh with my sisters because I’m sure my
mother did not know that she was turning into her own mother. As children,

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she taught us to love God, to be thankful for whatever God blessed us
with, to be respectful to everyone (whether rich or poor), to show love and
empathy, and to always share (especially with family) because everyone
doesn’t have, to stick together, to take care of one another; and to keep
what you have clean, even if you don’t have a lot.

As I sit and look through old family photo albums, I see the joy in all
of our faces. The values that were taught to her and her siblings have been
passed on to her children, as well as her grandchildren. Now, as a great-
grandmother, I asked what the best part of being a “Gigi” is. She laughed
and replied, “Spoiling my babies!”

PEARLS of WISDOM
Diane’s Take-aways
1. Know your history – how can you talk to your children about

people, places, and things if you don’t?
2. Generational curses come from somewhere; for example, why

do so many in your family drink? Why do you have that same
proclivity? Why do they die so young in your family? You need to
know so you can opt out of the cycle for you and your generations.
3. Join ancestry.com so you can find and talk about where, how and
when your history really started, and pass that on so this is a habit
and a lifestyle for the future generations.

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DIANE MOORE

COOKING

My mother was taught by her mother and no doubt her mother probably
taught my grandmother. She believed in fresh foods. In fact, even now I
don’t believe I have even seen my mother open canned anything. I have
seen frozen veggies but never canned. However, I also know if she had
to, she would adjust, overcome and use that can. The taste, once finished,
would hardly resemble where it came from…the can, I mean.

My mother believes in fresh foods because it is what she grew up on.
What I remember most about my childhood is that we always had solid,
healthy meals. I don’t remember ever eating cereal. I don’t eat much of it
today for that very reason. Breakfast was always a good, hearty meal of
grits, bacon, sausage, pancakes, scalloped apples and fresh hash browns
(cut up by hand and cooked with green peppers and sliced-up onions...
am I making you hungry yet?) In fact my lunch for school was packed
fresh each day. Our dinners were all pretty much the same well- thought-
out meals prepared at times on the weekends for the week. Foods were
stretched but not processed. All freshly prepared meals. Eating out was a
rare treat.

The southern cuisine I learned from my Mom has changed over the
years to include healthier choices. It’s funny, I am now teaching my
mother some healthy eating habits and preparation which, by the way,
does not take nearly the time that southern cuisine does.

Nonetheless, I enjoy eating out. I enjoy eating and entertaining in my
home; but for those of you that just have to have that macaroni and cheese,
I make a mean one that my wise mother taught me.

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MY MOM’S FAMOUS MACARONI & CHEESE

A family favorite and staple in our home

serves 4-6 people

1 Box of Elbow Macaroni

4 Cracker Barrel Block Cheese (Extra Sharp)

3 Cracker Barrel Block Cheese (Sharp)

1 Qt of Half-and-Half Whipping Cream Flour

Paprika

1 Stick of Butter 3 Eggs

Instructions for MOM’S MAC:

Let me first tell you. There is no measuring in this recipe. It’s just
plain old hands-on cooking.

I call it the roux:

One (1) quart of whipping cream or half-and-half. I like the thickness
of the whipping cream. Place in a pot turning stove top on medium high.
Do not walk away from it or you will regret it. If it curdles, it’s a wrap.

Crack open two eggs and place in cream. Add 2 slices of butter and
slices of cheese to start just a few. Stir mixture until you see it all melting
into the mixture. Continue to add cheese until mixture slightly thickens.
Add a small amount of pepper. Cheese requires very little season because
the cheese is salty. You can however use a little Lawry’s seasoning salt.
Season to taste. Just dip a finger in and taste it once the mixture is thick.

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It will be helpful to have your macaroni cooking at the same time.
How much depends on how many aluminum trays of mac you’re making.
This quart will do one tray and you want to make sure that you do not
cook your macaroni to long because it will continue to cooking in the
oven.

Pour off water from macaroni and place in a strainer basket. Add cold
water while draining to stop the macaroni from continuing to cook.

Place macaroni into the aluminum pan. Next take your roux and
place in macaroni. In order to get that golden cheesy yellow- look add
smoke paprika to mixture and stir. Slice additional pieces of your extra
sharp cheddar cheese down in the mixture so that cheese can be evenly
distributed throughout the dish. Next place slices of cheese on top of the
mixture as well. Sprinkle paprika all over the top of the dish. Next place
your dish in the oven. When you see your cheese melted and turning
slightly brown at the top, it is ready to come out. Do not serve right away.
Allow the mixture to continue to bake while sitting.

Bon Appetit

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PEARLS OF WISDOM

MEAL PREPARATION
My food preparation moments with my mother were my first teaching
tools of measurement and time. Meal preparation always takes time; it
helped me learn the importance of patience. According to my mom, meal
planning this way allowed her to think further through the way the food
would be used (in order to get the most out of it). For example, a ham
hock could be saved from a Sunday night dinner and used to make collard
greens the following evening. I have learned, any time you can shave
a few seconds off the decision-making process, you’ve increased your
efficiency. Those seconds add up to minutes of your life you’re about to
reclaim.

MEAL PLANNING that WORKS
Typically, I’ll plan four evening meals, one leftover meal and maybe
a pizza for Friday night Family Night. An average week looks like this:
Monday:
Tuesday:
Wednesday:
Thursday:
Friday:
Saturday:
Sunday:

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Meal Preparation for YOUNG CHILDREN
Like I said before, my mother’s meal plans seemed like a hassle at
first. But I came to realize how valuable they are, especially when trying
to balance cooking with caring for young children. Planning ahead is a big
help, allowing you to spend less time each day on the details of cooking
and more time on taking care of your kids.
Here is an example of a meal plan for a house with young children:
Monday:
Fried Chicken, Baked Chicken, Chicken Pot Pie, string beans, and
corn
Tuesday:
Spaghetti (a favorite!), maybe leftover string beans or a salad
Wednesday:
Hot dog and beans and broccoli
Thursday:
Meatloaf, rice with gravy and greens (spinach)
Friday:
Pizza
Saturday:
Eating out on a budget

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Sunday:

Fried Chicken, string beans, macaroni and cheese

Dessert: Make your own sundaes

My children were not picky eaters, which made it easy. Saving time on
planning and cooking made more time available for me to talk with them
about their day, disagreements at school, and more importantly homework
that also needed to be done. Every Sunday I would prepare or prep meals
and place them in Tupperware. Going out to eat was a luxury. Those were
appointed dates that were saved for specific special occasions.

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MY MOTHER’S MEAL PREP
Monday: Tuesday: Wednesday: Thursday: Friday: Saturday:

Sunday:
Monday:
Breakfast: Fried pork bacon or sausage, toast and coffee with cream
and sugar
Lunch: Typically she loves baked sweet potatoes
Dinner: Fried chicken, cabbage, and rice with gravy (she could eat
rice seven days a week)
Tuesday:
Breakfast: Fried pork bacon or sausage, toast and coffee with cream
and sugar
Lunch: Pizza with the works. She loves a particular brand
Dinner: Pork chops with gravy, fresh string beans, and rice with gravy
Wednesday:
Breakfast: Sausage biscuit with butter and jelly (grape or strawberry)
and coffee
Lunch: Turkey sandwich with mayo
Dinner: It depends; often she will take all her leftovers and make a
Veggie Stew

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Thursday:

Breakfast: Fried bacon or sausage, hash browns (the real ones) and
toast with coffee

Lunch: Baked Sweet Potato

Dinner: Baked Chicken with rice, and collard greens

Friday:

Breakfast: Same as above

Lunch: Leftovers from the day before

Dinner: Fried fish, macaroni and cheese with cabbage and baked
sweet potatoes

Saturday:

Breakfast: Pancakes or Waffles, sausage, hash browns, scrambled
eggs, orange juice and coffee

Sunday:

Baked Chicken, collard greens, Macaroni and Cheese, candied yams,
and Corn Bread

Mom went to great lengths to plan ahead, as you can see from her
weekly meal preps for our family.

Today, I am a Vegetarian/Vegan/Pescatarian, eating salmon
occasionally under doctor’s orders for my Vitamin D. In the summer I can
unblock myself and head out for sun, which is also a source of Vitamin D.

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DIANE’S MEAL PLAN

My meals never take long; since they are perishable or frozen it usually
requires weekly visits to the grocery store. Here’s my week:

Monday:

Breakfast

A smoothie - A cup of frozen spinach, 1 or 2 figs (if in season) natural
sugar, turmeric (guard against arthritis) chia seeds, flax seeds, a cup of
almond milk, frozen banana (especially if they ripen quickly), 1 whole
carrot). Blend. I use a Vitamix which I picked up at Costco. It does
the blending on a set time. Before you say they are expensive, I will
admit that healthier food is indeed more expensive; however, I want
to live so I pay the extra. I add a glass of ice to it, to get that smoothie
or shake texture, but I love it as a juice too. I have one every morning.

Lunch

Veggie Taco - Multigrain shell, cut tomatoes, cut cucumbers, cut red
onions, sometimes meatless meat (ground meatless meat). It’s already
precooked so you can add regular taco seasoning., non-dairy Daiya
cheddar-style shreds

Pop in microwave or oven maybe 10 minutes, add salsa

Dinner

Salmon, Organic Salad with artichoke hearts, sliced carrots,
cucumbers, tomatoes and red onion. Any dressing low in sugar and
no mayonnaise.

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PEARLS OF WISDOM

Tuesday:

A smoothie – A variety of fruits and vegetables. I love my vitamix.

Lunch

Meatless meat hamburger, (Costco) love that place, romaine lettuce. I
like to wrap my hamburger in it. I rarely eat bread. I use it for a cheat
weekend.

Dinner: Loads of veggies and I am good. Dessert - Ice cream sandwich
with Almond Milk.

Wednesday:

Breakfast

Smoothie or meatless Morningstar sausage

Lunch

Tuna fish with Soy-free Vegenaise (Better than Mayo). I put the tuna
fish on a salad

Dinner:

Meatless Spaghetti with sliced zucchini, sliced yellow squash, sliced
red peppers, yellow peppers, red onions and sauteed mushrooms. I
spiral zucchini for noodles and use organic spaghetti sauce.

Thursday:

Breakfast

A smoothie or cold pressed juice (hubby fixes great ones)

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Lunch: Left over Spaghetti
Dinner:
Homemade butternut squash soup from my blender with pumpkin
seeds; sometimes I load it with vegetables.
Friday:
Breakfast
A smoothie
Lunch
Butternut squash soup leftovers
Dinner
Date Night. We eat in during the week so we can have a great weekend
exploring new foods. Yes, I am a foodie and take pictures of my food.
I also put my reviews on Yelp, good or bad.
Saturday & Sundays.
I rarely cook on weekends. The weekend is a part of my self-care
days. I use that time to spend with our grands, depending on the
season cook-out or continue to explore restaurants or go back to
favorite ones.

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PEARLS OF WISDOM

CLEANING

It’s interesting how when we are younger, we tell ourselves how we
are not going to be like a person, only to become that exact person years
later. I used to complain about having to clean up every second of the day,
yet, as an adult, I embody my mom and I am happy to embrace chores I
once sought to avoid.

I remember her incessant focus on bathrooms; in fact, bleach was her
perfume. It was that “I clean everything with” product. I can see the neatly
cut out carpet. You know it was a spot with the top and bottom for the
toilet and seat. The mat that came with it. Well, she had pink, peach, and
yellow. Let’s not forget those matching towels that nobody could use. It
was an unwritten rule but guests and everybody else knew not to touch.
Well, imagine taking them up weekly and washing and drying them in a
coin-operated machine.

Imagine waking up every Saturday and having to clean the entire house
as if Jesus Himself were coming to grace your home with His presence.
I vividly remember being assigned the chore of cleaning the bathrooms.
Toilet bowls were all cleaned by hand, as well as the floor. No nook or
cranny went untouched, including the baseboards. Trust me: my mother
knew if you took a short cut, and dealt with you directly. She didn’t allow
do-overs. We were trained to do it right the first time. She would often
say, bathrooms and kitchens say a lot about a person. If your bathroom
or kitchen was dirty, in her mind you were dirty, and she would never eat
anything from your home.

The sink was cleaned with dish detergent and bleach with old rags
and dried down with paper towels. Don’t forget to clean the mirrors with

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DIANE MOORE

Windex, and make sure the medicine cabinet has no dust and is clean
as well. All the medicine had to be taken off each shelf, cleaned off and
neatly placed back. No fingerprints or streaks could be left behind.

Beds were made up military-style. The sheets had to be neatly folded
back in a square with triangle-folded corners. Blankets were placed on
top with that same fold and sharp triangular corners. Pillows were fluffed,
with the labels always on the inside of the standard pillowcase.

Everything had to be polished. You could not skip anything. Each and
every item was removed, polished, and then put back in its place. I can
still smell the Lemon Pledge and see the cut-up old undershirt that was
used as a rag.

Vacuuming was pretty much the same way. We moved everything
off the carpet and away from the baseboards, corners, and windows.
The windowsills were swept down, cleaned, and washed. The carpet
was triangle-trained and I could never understand why we weren’t even
allowed on it. She would take a broom and sweep over the carpet. She
used to say she would know if somebody came into our house by the
footprints.

This was the ritual that was done EVERY Saturday morning.

Sometime during the week, my mom would take a day to wash clothes
at the local laundromat. Mom’s favorite laundry staples are Downy fabric
softener, Bleach, All Free and Clear detergent, and Spray & Wash for
those stubborn stains. Once she has everything she needs, she spies out
her favorite washers, dryers and places to fold before starting her loads

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PEARLS OF WISDOM

LAUNDRY GUIDE
This helpful information can save time and money and ensure clothes
last longer.

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DIANE MOORE

There is a process to doing laundry, and it starts with separating the
whites from the darks and then preparing a separate pile for colors. Bras,
panties and other delicate go into net bags; stockings are washed by hand.
Only the whites get bleach, and every load was washed in cold water. A
secret she taught me was to add iodized salt to the dark loads, to prevent
your clothes from looking ashy.

Once the washing was complete, the drying rack would be full of
items that would never be put in a dryer. You don’t just hang them on
that drying rack either. They are pulled and laid out first. If the item is a
sweater, it’s stretched and placed on a flat surface. She even arranged the
drying rack by stockings, bras and panties, tops and the like. Her shirts,
especially the white cotton ones, would go in a plain plastic bag and were
placed in the freezer. She said that made them iron better.

The laundromat got a lot of my mom’s wealth. She did not play around
with our clothes. If there was no suitable color category or an item was
extremely delicate, it was washed on delicate and by itself. She never
left her clothes unattended, even if that meant staying there all day. If
they were damp, she would start the dryer again. She refused to take wet
clothes home.

Once the clothes were finished, she systematically folded everything,
putting them in categories. There were special folds for everything, all
done the same way. Towels were flattened and folded into the left, then
center, then right, slightly overlapping. Once they were all folded, and in
a category, they were placed strategically into the laundry baskets.

This day could take hours; therefore, she would pack lunch, snacks
and juice. I admired the time and attention to detail she took in doing our

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PEARLS OF WISDOM

things. There was so much of herself put in every act. When she would
finally have a moment at home, all of our clothes were ironed in one
session. Every ironing session included distilled water, heavy spray starch
and Magic Sizing. This was a serious matter. In fact, my mom purchased
a Bergman’s press machine, the same kind that is still used today at the
cleaners. Once pressed, the clothes were hung up to dry from the steam
and starch before being placed in the closets. To this day I still do it this
way, and I must say when I wear my shirts, they stay crisp and never
wrinkle (minus the press machine of course).

PEARLS of WISDOM

Diane’s Take- aways for Chapter 2

Reading this book, my routines may appear to be intimidating because
many people simply do not do them anymore. It also may mean you were
never taught how to do them in the firsts place. However, clearly you
can see that each generation takes on this responsibility differently, but
still gets the job done. To whom much is given, much is required. Which
simply means that whatever you are blessed to have in your life, you are
responsible for keeping it, taking care of it, and maintaining it. How can
you ask for more if you are not faithful with what you already have?

Your kitchen and bathroom speak volumes

These two places are the most frequented in a household. I can tell a lot
about the rest of the house through these two places. I was trained to keep
both of them cleaned each and every day. Dishes left in sinks overnight
was a no-no. Dishes left in drying racks was out of the question. I decided
the best way I could keep them clean was to minimize what I stored in
them too. It’s just easier to clean things without a lot of clutter.

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Part 3

PEARLS of BECOMING

Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of
becoming.

SELF-CARE
If you go back and look at the pictures of how people dressed and
conducted themselves in years past, there was a strong sense of propriety
in one self. As I have told you before, my mother’s white clothes were
always a crisp, blinding white and every article of her clothing, down to
her socks, was ironed to perfection. Her outer appearance mattered to her,
and she put that same sense of pride into her home and her family. But,
between my mother creating a home for us, keeping it clean and working
sometimes three jobs, I noticed she always put herself last. I believe there
should be a certain balance between the two. Whoever told you that self-
care was not okay, or that you should prioritize yourself last, lied. Self-
care means tending to your health, your appearance, your mind and your
heart. If you are not at your best, you are not giving your best to your
family, your work, or others. Simply put, without regular self-care, you
are not living your best life.
Hygiene
My mother is passionate about cleanliness in every way. If you have

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PEARLS OF WISDOM

not figured this out from the previous sections, this includes personal
hygiene as well. When I say I have never smelled my mother I mean it.
She did not play that. Am I dating myself? If you say yes, then you already
feel me. If you do not have a clue, then let me start with you. Your vagina
should not have an odor. If it does, then get to a doctor quickly. I am not
a physician, so I won’t offer any diagnosis. I just know there is a problem
and a thorough gynecological checkup is necessary. As a side note, please
note that Primary Care Physicians are not usually GYN doctors.

Floss

My mother flossed although I didn’t see her do it. I do however believe
that she did not make her mouth a priority and again put her children
before herself even with great health insurance. It just seems back then it
was easier to put dentures in than to save teeth. I remember far more years
of her putting her teeth in a cup of effervescent denture cleaner than I do
going to the dentist to save her teeth.

PEARLS of WISDOM

Diane’s Take-aways

In the throes of being a single parent, dental care was not an important
area for me, although it was extremely important that my children took
great care of this area. Now, and after many years of abuse to my teeth, I
pay a lot more attention to dental health. In fact, it is a priority for me. I
have over the years enhanced my look to include, at one point, caps, and
later veneers. I value self-care to a great degree, but more importantly I
value me and everything about me.

We must do better. Write down a checklist of priorities: You will see

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DIANE MOORE

a list of health care physicians and checkups necessary for self-care. In
addition, here are some basics:

Imagine a cross symbol with your head at the top. Often, we simply
do not prioritize hygiene. Let’s start with the basics. Brush and floss your
teeth. Brush your tongue; 99.9 percent of the time bad breath is a result of
not brushing the tongue, health conditions, or lack of maintenance. Check
your dried mucus (boogers). Second, without being too graphic, ladies
wash under your breasts. Did you know that sweat glands give off an
odor? Lastly, the bottom of the cross represents your vagina.

What is the sign of the cross? Let me explain:

Diane’s Take-aways

1. The cross first is your head and everything attached to it. Your
eyes... make sure you clean the sleep out of them especially the
corners. The nose. Be careful with your ears; using Q-tips will
get you in trouble. If you have a waxing issue, see an ear, nose
and throat doctor. They are the experts. The mouth we discussed
above.

2. Open your arms wide; bacterial odor is not a good sign under your
arms. It means there is something going on in your body. Also, if
you are a woman, please shave your armpits. Hair carries an odor
especially if you perspire a great deal. Again, I am not a doctor;
however bacterial soap or a clinical deodorant used with your
regular deodorant is a good idea.

3. Wash under your breasts. You perspire there too.

4. Your V.J.J. needs to be washed morning, noon and night. You need

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a GYN doctor. Make it a priority.

5. DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS

Every Woman Should Make This Year

Annual Physical

Gyno Exam

Visio n Exam

Bonus Checkups
√ Dermatologist
√ STI Screening
√ Mammogram (if you’re 40+)
√ Therapy

BEAUTY AND DISCIPLINE

I remember the rollers, purple, green, orange, and pink. We used pins
to clamp them with paper, until they got fancy and had the clamps to
match the rollers. Mom used Lotta Body setting lotion; it was this really
slimy stuff that made your hair stiff as a board even after she diluted it to
stretch it out. There were four girls to treat, and herself too. All of us had
relaxers. Of course, the older girls wore their hair out. I was the youngest
and my hair would be placed at times in these four carefully separated
sections, starting with the comb by my nose and coming up to the hairline
to make the part. She would put it in four parts. Twist it and barrette each
one. Seldom did I get to wear it out. And don’t forget the ribbons! She
used to go to some place like a Joanne’s Fabric to buy them. We had every

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color imaginable. Even these were washed and ironed and left to dry. And
you’d better not lose them either. Ask my sisters what happened to them
if they did. It was a beautiful thing being youngest. My mother didn’t
whoop me as hard.

She wholeheartedly believed in whoopings. Trust me, she did. There
was very little occasion to voice your opinion like children have today.
My mom, who spent more time single than married, heavily relied on the
older siblings to take care of the younger ones while she worked. Often
my mother worked three jobs at a time. She’d finish one shift only to start
another. With that in mind, her instructions had to be followed to the letter.
One failed instruction or act of disobedience was dealt with that same day.
Elizabeth did not forget. It’s interesting today how parents have moved
away from discipline. They don’t even communicate instructions clearly.
Often children grow up too soon... see and hear far too much than they
should, and go undisciplined; and you wonder why they are disrespectful.

It was ‘yes ma’am, no ma’am’ in our house. Dennis, my deceased
brother, knew he had better take out the trash. There are some old-school
ways that the younger generations simply never should have left behind.

Now as I have become older and a little wiser, I do have a few
disagreements with her methods that are non-negotiable. I believe
discipline does not necessarily have to encompass fear. For that fear,
I believe, reflected the fear my mother had as well. There were past
mistakes she made that she simply did not want us to make, including
having children before marriage. We obeyed out of fear more than respect
for doing something properly, which was the right thing to do. I see it now
in the way my children are raising my grandchildren.

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PEARLS of WISDOM

Diane’s Take-Aways

Far too many people are sacrificing their hair for something quick or
something fashionable, including their children’s hair. But hair, like nails,
grows naturally if taken care of properly.

Color will destroy hair and follicles. especially if you are still using
lye (an active ingredient in perms). Now, I still have my old-school dryer
but learned natural styles from my children that both save money and also
keep hair healthy and strong because you are not using excessive heat. Too
much heat will damage hair over time. Round brushing and putting stress
on your hair overtime will compromise the natural pattern of the hair. No,
I am not an expert. I am just smarter than the average bear. (Yogi that is).
Recently, after going to my own salon and getting moisture treatments
for my hair, I found my own hydration machine. It puts moisture back
into your hair. Guess what you all – I might as well tell it. It serves two
purposes. It is also a steamer for facials. Yes, Mrs. Diane is exfoliating her
own skin. Taught myself by paying attention to others who did it and with
the help of some YouTube experts who showed me the way.

Here’s a take-away on discipline that you might not want to hear but
Mrs. Diane is gonna tell it like it is. Far too many children are becoming
adults before their time.

They hear too many conversations that should not include them, and
you dress them up like little grown mini-me’s too soon. You are spending
massive amounts of your retirement income on foolishness that you take
selfies with post it and the children lack character and integrity; many of
them are extremely self-centered. We’re not even going to talk about the

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“what” they give you when you ask them something.
Do you know how poorly you are setting them up to handle life?
Do you realize that not exposing them and putting them in places

that could change their destiny and trajectory of your maybe perishing
predicament is dangerous?

For those of you that do not have wealth issues, you ask “do I have to
teach them any of this?” You really do, because if you do not train them to
manage wealth, all that you have amassed means nothing. If you have not
taught them to be compassionate for others, how do you expect them to
be compassionate with you? If you have not taught them to care about the
earth and the responsibilities of citizenship, why should they care about
what you have acquired and given to them?

Wreck the car? Well, just buy me another – you got the money. Have
I painted a picture of why “more is caught than taught?” As a parent you
truly are responsible for what you have raised. Now run tell that.

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SELF-SUFFICIENCY

My mother has always worked in order to assure that she maintained
self- sufficiency. She just found a way and made no excuse for it. It was
just what she did. I was not born into wealth. In fact, my mom only went
to school through the 8th grade. She married early and had children
soon after that. She divorced early, too. I am not knocking systems that
temporarily support women, children and men (fathers are single parents
too) but don’t get comfortable and stay there. I am just saying, my mother
sometimes worked three jobs, leaving my older sister to look out for us.
That experience taught us all self-sufficiency.

I know from experience raising children on my own that it’s tempting
to look for short cuts, easier ways to manage. But my faith and persistence
carried me through. I looked up, and though it appeared to be a struggle
each year, it got better as I became wiser. I looked up and realized I was
doing it.

Self-Sufficiency

Recreate your mind recreate your world

To any of my mothers who are on welfare: earn a living, don’t just
think you deserve a living. There is a difference. So, clean up your house,
pay your rent on time with the money you do have, and stop having all
those babies. Fathers, start supporting the ones you have and don’t make
any more until such time that you can take care of your own self. Don’t
you see what is at stake here? Young man, old man, young woman, old
woman, can’t you see that more is caught not taught? Your children
are now playing those same games you did when you were young and
made mistakes, and the cycle just keeps going around and around. You

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are enslaved by your own mind. It is time to get free and think about
being prideful in who you are, and remember that you were created to be
limitless. Who told you that you can’t write books? Who told you that you
can’t have a business?

Drug dealing is a business. Dealers have a staff, employees, and
customers; they even focus on great customer service to encourage their
customers to come back again and again and again. Can’t you see that
this road will only lead to death and destruction? Are you really so selfish
to not know that people depended on the income they waste on drugs?
Whether right or wrong now you have unemployed your staff? Why not
take that same wisdom and business savvy to get someone to write a
business plan, get a bank loan and start a business in your community?
Do something for the greater good and really start giving of your time and
talents. It’s not enough for me to see you as something bigger: you must
see yourself as bigger too.

MARRIAGE AND COVENANT

Many are asking, why did I put marriage in the section with self-
sufficiency? It’s because a successful marriage requires two single people
who can take care of themselves first.

(“To be or not to be; that is the question.” My answer is yes.)

My mother has been married three times. Earnest is my second go-
round. It has been a revelation to me that deep down inside everyone
desires a covenant relationship.

A marriage covenant is an agreement or contract that should last “until
death do you part.”

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If you have ever been in a marriage then you know that it was a product
of your intelligent choice. A decision that hopefully both of you came to a
mutual agreement to do. It’s an agreement, a contract, and one you should
think about with the right attitude: it takes work to have a great one. You
see, marriage is not that tingling hairs standing up on the back of your
neck, running to each other on the beach in the sand, dancing up in the air
as you run into each other’s arms type of feeling. Nor is it the television
show versions you’ve watched.

Marriage is a 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week, 365-days-per-year job.
It is a covenant. It is an argument over spending too little or too much.
It is a discovery that the person you sleep with has weird habits, and the
possibility that your mate feels the same. It is growing to love another,
at times conditionally and at other times unconditionally. It’s lean years
with no money. It’s abundant years with plenty of money. It’s periods
of redefining the relationship so it won’t go stale. For those who have
children, it’s a period when you realize that bright-eyed boy or girl comes
with sacrifice, disappointments, and tough decisions. For empty nesters,
it’s a feeling of emptiness, deciding what do we do with ourselves, after
concentrating on your children so much that you don’t know yourselves
anymore. The list is endless.

When I look back at my first marriage, I realize that it was about what
each person was willing or unwilling to do to fight for it. In society today,
we make up our own vows; but no matter the words, this still holds true: to
death do us part should still be the attitude that both of you should bring
to the table. Why do we draw up prenups with people we say we love?
Why do we create these escape plans and back-out options? I say they are
deeply rooted in fear, not faith. For faith would remind us that we don’t

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