The Healer's Art • 2020 • Issue 4

the the
HEALER’SHEALER’S
art art2020 2020ISSUE 4ISSUE 4

This issue is dedicated to This issue is dedic

Our Nation’s Bravest Our Nation’s B

For months, frontline healthcare workers have helped, seFrovredm, oanntdhsp, rfortoencttleinde healthcare workers h
our communities during the COVID-19 pandemic. Physicoiaunrsc,onmurmseusn, imtiesdidcuarl ing the COVID-19 pan

hospital operations continue to perform their duties withohuotspeixtcaelpotpioenradtieosnpsitceontinue to perform the

these pages and authored by physicians and physicians-int-htreasienpinagerseparnedseanutthaored by physicians and
source of hope in the quality and humanity of a generationsooufrcdeooctfohrosptheaitnwthilel quality and humanity
humbly follow in your footsteps. humbly follow in you

On the cover: theOn the cover:

Common Ground HEALEaRr’tSCommon Ground
ISSUE 4
2020

a foreword
from the Creative HeArts Faculty Advisors, Spring 2020

Here in the midst of a global pandemic, an emphasis on wellness has taken the front
seat for many of us, even if it is just a heightened awareness that we must protect and
cultivate our wellness in order to build resilience and navigate even the most challeng-
ing times. More and more we realize the pursuit of wellness can take on many forms,
and is not limited to meditation or exercise (although these are wonderful things!), but
can also be making music, cooking and enjoying a delicious meal, connecting with
loved ones, and of course, welcoming and embracing the creative process to bring for-
ward poems, sculpture, paintings, drawings and photographs that tell our story. Our
talented students each year compile this collection of works that tell their story and
share them so generously with us. I hope you take a moment with each of these, and
while exploring their unique perspective, also recognize the collective story we share.

Sandra Quezada, MD, MS

Associate Dean for Admissions
Assistant Dean for Academic and

Multicultural Affairs
Assistant Professor of Medicine,
Division of Gastroenterology and

Hepatology
University of Maryland School of

Medicine

To all of our extraordinary artists and to our read-
ers as well -- art and expression have always been an
integral part of staying well and being resilient. In
these unprecedented times, this collection of art is all
the more meaningful. Please enjoy these pieces and
reflect on our human response to such immense trag-
edy. Also, please take time to appreciate the gifts (like
these) that we are still lucky enough to experience
despite our daily uncertainty and struggle. I would
like to offer my personal thanks and appreciation to
Fatima and Michael whose hard work made this all
possible.

John Allen, MD

Assistant Dean of Student Affairs
Assistant Professor of Medicine
University of Maryland School of

Medicine

the Creative HeArts Team

Zahur Fatima Sallman, MS4

The last four years starting this group with Michael and growing it into what it has become
today with our classmates have been more meaningful than I could put into words. I hope
that Creative HeArts and The Healer’s Art continues to live on in the ways we reflect on
experiences in medical school and encourage our colleagues and mentors to do the same.
They’ve helped me stay anchored to my reasons for choosing this path and I couldn’t be
more grateful to everyone who has ever supported its mission.

Michael Sikorski, GS2

Four years later and on our eighth publication, the Creative Hearts team and our en-
tire medical school community continues to amaze me with their creativity. While I
will continue on board as a dual-degree candidate, I offer my deepest gratitude to the
founding Creative Hearts team, consisting of my former classmates who graduated in
May 2020 and to the newly minted Dr. Fatima Sallman, co-founder and friend.

Dahlia Kronfli, MS2

I am so grateful that Creative HeArts exists to remind us to pause and reflect on the
privilege, vulnerability, and humility we encounter in our journey in medicine. Art has
always been a powerful medium for me to express what I’m going through and connect
with others, and I’m delighted that we have a space here at Maryland to encourage that.
Thank you to everyone who has supported us.

Christine Yuan, MS1

Creative HeArts has reminded me to not lose sight of the humanistic side of medicine.
Being a part of this team has given me the opportunity to reflect on my experiences, at-
tribute deeper meaning to them, and also carve out time for hobbies that keep me whole.
For me, that’s design, drawing, music, or anything that involves creating things with my
hands honestly! I also love seeing the creative sides of our talented faculty and classmates.

Isha Darbari, MS1

The moment I saw a Creative Hearts publication from a college friend, I was inspired by the
level of creativity, wisdom, and vulnerability. For years, I would only paint happy beaches
and mountains as an escape from reality; but this journal has inspired me to also use art
for acceptance and reflection. Not only does the Healer’s Art allow us to learn a little more
about our classmates and ourselves, but it also emphasizes that we are all on this journey of
highs and lows together.

2 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Alyssa Schledwitz, MS1

When I was an admitted student at Second Look Day, a friend showed me the latest issue
of The Healer’s Art and I knew that I wanted to be a part of this process. Creative HeArts
reminds me that I belong to a community of people who are not only bright and hard-
working, but introspective, sincere, and unafraid of vulnerability. It also inspires me to
continue with my own creative endeavors and make time for reflection.

Chaoyang Wang, MS1

Piano and painting have both been hobbies of mine for several years now, so I joined
Creative HeArts to stay in touch with my artistic side and encourage others to embrace
theirs. I believe that medicine is an art in itself and reflecting upon our experiences in
medical school and beyond, through whatever medium, is an important part of our
growth as future doctors.

Alexis Green, MS1

Music has been a source of peace for me for as long as I can remember. It has been an honor
to work with the Creative HeArts team to provide outlets for our colleagues to tap into all
that art has to offer us. During turbulent times, reflection through the process of creating
can be powerfully healing, and it offers us avenues to do the important work of caring for
ourselves in order to best serve those around us.

Lavanya Garnepudi, MS2

While time often feels limited, Creative HeArts has provided me with an incredible outlet
to pursue hobbies that I have held on to for years. I’m so grateful to have had the opportu-
nity to work with such a wonderful and talented group of individuals!

Chelsea Alvarado, MS4

Being part of the Creative HeArts team during the last four years has been one of my great-
est privileges during medical school. I’m so proud that we’ve been able to engage so many
medical students in the arts and humanities with our journal and I’m endlessly thankful
for the inspiration to keep up with my own artistic work. As our class approaches gradu-
ation, I hold this group close to my heart and will look back fondly on all the work we’ve
done!

The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020 3

contents

Foreword from Faculty Sponsors.................................................................................................. 1
From the Creative HeArts Team................................................................................................... 2
The Days are Long, but the Years are Short Chaoyang Wang, MS1.......................................... 6
Momentary Bliss Lucy Wang, MS3............................................................................................... 7
The New Normal Andrea Theodoru, MS3................................................................................... 8
Bloom Lavanya Garnepudi, MS2.................................................................................................. 9
A Can of Beans in Quaratine Gaia Cicerchia, MS2.................................................................. 10
A Series of Pauses Sara Ashai, MS1............................................................................................. 10
Renewal Zahur Fatima Sallman, MS4 ....................................................................................... 12
At the End of Every Neph ron Lies a Pot of Gold Jessica Palmer, MS1.................................. 13
Common Ground Dahlia Kronfli, MS2..................................................................................... 14
Overwhelmed Christine Yuan, MS1........................................................................................... 15
Unfinished projects Meghna Ramaswamy, MS3....................................................................... 16
Blazing Through Madeline Clark, MS2...................................................................................... 17
What if I fall? Isha Darbari, MS1................................................................................................. 18
The Second Puberty Daniel, MS2................................................................................................ 19
Psychiatry Murals Vy Do, Recovery Committee, et al............................................................. 20
Spring Cara Dooley, MS4............................................................................................................. 22
NABS ANATOMY.04: INDUCTION, MAINTENANCE, EMERGENCE Nabid Ahmed, MS4... 23

4 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

For more submissions including multimedia & videos,
please visit the Creative HeArts website,

creativeheartsumb.wixsite.com/thehealersart
and Instagram @TheHealersArt

Mirrors Nicole Mair, MS3............................................................................................................24
Rocky Mountain Healers Donna L Parker, MD, Faculty.........................................................25
Are You Satisfied with Your Care? Andrew Pak, MS3..............................................................26
A Space to Feel It Michaella Reif, MS4.......................................................................................27
7:59 PM The Long Night Anonymous, Medical Student.........................................................28
An Interview with Dr. Laundette Jones Maria Novitskaya, MS1............................................29
Outreach Jocelyn Wu, MS1..........................................................................................................30
BCG Ankur Vaidya, MS4.............................................................................................................31
Calle de Colón, 1 Michael Sikorski, GS2....................................................................................32
Trooper Landing Aloise Diedrich, MS4.....................................................................................33
Visual Art in Healing Kimia Abtahi, MS1.................................................................................34
A Special ICM Day in the Cancer Center Jessica Palmer, MS1..............................................35
Reflections on My Dad’s Diagnosis Laura (Lucy) Murnane, MS1..........................................36
100 Years of Medicine Nick Bishop, MS2...................................................................................38
Paagalapan Ankur Vaidya, MS4..................................................................................................40
Golden Hour Kavita Bhatnagar...................................................................................................41
New Beginnings Chelsea Alvarado, MS4...................................................................................42
Dark Sunrise Mary Melati, MS2..................................................................................................43
At the End of the Day Saad Shamshair, MS4.............................................................................44

The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020 5

The Days are Long,

but the Years are Short

Chaoyang Wang, MS1

I spend a lot of time in my desk chair at home studying. I fidget and spin around every so often, almost
like the hands of a clock. I notice that once I get into a routine with long, busy days and weeks, the months
would start to pass by really quickly. The scenery outside my window changes every month, but it’s only
when I look back that I realize how quickly all four seasons of the year have passed, with me in my room, on
my chair. The flow of time during these past several months has been peculiar- I understand why so many
describe the feeling this way: the days are long, but the years are short.

6 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Momentary Bliss
Lucy Wang, MS3

Even in the most troubling of times, we can always retreat to the comfortable corners of our minds. Even
when we cannot go anywhere, we can still dream, muse, wonder. We can imagine wild, wondrous places
and escape to them at any time. We are always the captains of our thoughts; our minds, our mental space...
is our creation. We can always find moments of bliss.... if only we stay present. Our reality is not life as it
happens to us, but life as we interpret it.

The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020 7

The New Normal

Andrea Theodoru, MS3

8 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Bloom

Lavanya Garnepudi, MS2

I can’t remember the last time I looked up at and around my surroundings while running outside.
Normally, I’m running and chatting with a friend as we run our usual loop by the harbor. If I’m alone, I’m
plugged in, listening to a podcast or music, sights set straight ahead. I’m thinking about the next thing on
my to-do list, not even having finished my current “to do” activity.
But today, my 11th day of practicing physical distancing, I look up when I go on my daily run through
the neighborhood. Suddenly, my breath feels deeper and slower. The air smells crisp and clear. The sun
is out, and the clouds seem to dance through the sky. The flowers on the trees are blooming, giving away
the slightest sign that Spring has arrived. Shoots of bright green grass peek through the barren ground,
Winter is leaving. There’s a flock of birds perched on a tree that take off in unison as a gust of wind blows.
I smile and wave at the person walking their dog as I veer off the sidewalk onto the pavement. They wave
and nod back, both of us silently acknowledging the new normal we must adapt to, and the need to
maintain appropriate distance.
In a world where there is so much uncertainty, concern of what is happening, and fear of what is to come,
Nature has been my escape. An escape from the copious amounts of time I spend staring at a computer
screen studying pathophysiology, and an escape from constantly refreshing and reading the latest news
updates.
Nature is a reminder that we are part of something larger and something timeless. We are far more inter-
connected than we ever imagined. May we take this time to slow down, reflect, reset, rise to the occasion,
and bloom together.

The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020 9

A Can of Beans in Quarantine

Gaia Cicerchia, MS2

A flash of tin
ripples under
the jaws of
a can opener.

An escape
from a busy day
that evolved and bubbled
like black beans that
simmering,
become a stew.

Aromas flooding— A Series of Pauses
taking you out
of the worry bubbling Sara Ashai, MS1
simmering, stewing
in your mind. COVID-19
In this moment, A time for reflection. The world is telling us to pause, so
a can of beans Pause.
can be life giving For me, this means letting go and accepting my insecurities, it means
too. working on those insecurities, waking up every day and letting go
of comparison, believing in myself and realizing how blessed I am
to be in medical school.
Pause means to give my brain a rest- to let my brain come out of the
habitual and cyclical world I have created for it.
Pause means to give my heart a rest, to be kind to myself, to be
proud of myself, to live my life for myself.
Pause means to let other parts of my body previously at rest to move-
instead of loading my chest with the strain of medical school, open-
ing it up with the angel pose.
Pause means to get out and use my legs and see more clearly; to see
this spring bloom, to smile.
Pause means to get out of my own head, my own rut to accept the
change and seek the new, to seek reform,
To seek the unseen of medical school, of this world, of me.
To pause.

10 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

(cont. from pg. 10)
I lay on my bed before a small group session.
I feel exhausted, I feel tired, I can’t think clearly.
My brain feels chaotic.
I didn’t get a good night sleep.
That pours over into my morning.
I have an appointment with my dermatologist early in the morning.
I feel embarrassed because through the chaos of medical school, I didn’t get time to refill my prescription.
The doctor tells me I should have time to fill my prescription.
And that’s when I feel inadequate.
I feel inadequate.
Why do I feel inadequate?
I let one interaction bring me down and go into the cyclical brain of thoughts I have created for myself.
I try studying, but I can’t.
I can’t.
Small group is in 20 minutes, I have to get it together.
I can’t think, so I go to my bed and lie down.
I play some meditation music.
I flip through pages of a Creative Heart’s publication.
And then I write.
I have 2 minutes to just close my eyes and pause.
And I think to myself, it’s okay.
It’s okay.
It’s okay.
It’s okay.
It’s in these 2 minutes where I can reset because sometimes you only have 2 minutes.
120 seconds.
60 seconds.
I breathe.
There goes my alarm.
Now it’s time to go sign into Zoom, be present, and show up.
To show up because medical school is a blessing.
It’s a blessing.
But even when you are blessed it’s important to pause.
It’s been this pause that has given me the courage to seek the new and come out of my comfort zone.
It’s been this pause where I lay on my bed and see the raw talent in the Creative Heart’s publication.
It’s been in this pause where in The Healer’s Art, I seek the unseen of medical school.
It’s strange how it’s a global pandemic, so tragic, that puts the world in a pause.
It’s strange how it’s a global pandemic in which I realize I need to pause.

11The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Renewal

Zahur Fatima Sallman, MS4

The power of a volcano, the destruction it can leave behind, is undeniable. Wherever it goes, you can see for
miles, as the molten lava has destroyed everything in its path. Trees become like carcasses, white-washed and the
color of bone. Homes, schools, someone’s livelihood, buried somewhere deep underneath.
Stepping foot on a volcano crater in Hawai’i for the first time in my life, it felt as though nothing could ever grow
over it again. Yet I was wrong. Life finds a way to flourish under the direst of circumstances. The ‘Ohi’a is the first
to make its home on lava flows, a stubborn shrub with bright blossoms called Lehua. I’ve been thinking of it since
I first saw it growing on the otherwise barren Kileaua Iki crater in Hawai’i.
I remembered it when I visited an old church in the small town of Kalapana to teach middle and high-school
students instead of an actual school, theirs was destroyed by a volcano eruption two years ago. I intended to teach
them about the path to medical school, but they taught me about resilience and courage instead.
I remembered it when I felt how close-knit the community is in Hilo, where people treat each other more as Oha-
na than neighbors or strangers. It was even manifested in the way I saw physicians interact with their patients.
I remember it now as I sit in my home, distant from friends and loved ones while a pandemic rages against the
world, destroys so many lives, and irreversibly changes others.
The ‘Ohi’a Lehua has become a symbol to me of persistence against all odds. It finds a way to persist, even flourish.
So will we.

12 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

At the End of Every Nephron

Lies a Pot of Gold
Jessica Palmer, MS1
13The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Common Ground

Dahlia Kronfli, MS2

A tribute to anatomy and Above & Beyond’s fourth studio album.

14 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Overwhelmed
Christine Yuan, MS1
@cyudoodles

February 22, 2020:
I had time to draw today because our ICM class was cancelled.
Yes, I should probably use the extra time to work because I
am SWAMPED but taking time for self-care is important too.
I am working on being kinder to myself and not judging my

worth based on productivity.

15The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Unfinished Projects
Meghna Ramaswamy, MS3

16 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Blazing Through
Madeline Clark, MS2

In this winter landscape scene, I highlighted the gorgeous winter light of the setting sun. By
layering watercolors, I accentuated the intense glow that the sunset brings to the early after-
noon on a cold winter day. Rather than letting this fleeting moment of day pass as a mere
precursor to the onset of darkness, I commemorated it to find and appreciate the beauty in
the short days of winter.

17The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

What if I fall?
Isha Darbari, MS1

What if I fall? Oh, but my darling,
what if you fly?
Merriam-Webster
Defin ition of f ledge \ ‘flej
intransitive verb
of a young bird : to acquire the feath-
ers necessary for flight or independent
activity
also : to leave the nest after acquiring
such feathers

In med school, it can be easy to dwell on the possibility of failure- it constantly feels so close, and so consequen-
tial. I happened upon this quote ("What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?") a few months ago, during
a particularly strong period of self-doubt and academic struggles. As is natural in times of challenge, I decided
to procrastinate; so that day, I googled 'how do birds learn to fly?"
For years, scientists thought that birds were naturally born with the ability to fly. In reality, while it's true that this
is partly based on innate characteristics, birds must also develop the skill via training, reinforcement, and lots of
falling - quite like med school.
While it's true each of us has our own innate and developed skillsets, we are all here because we have the nec-
essary traits to succeed in medicine. It can feel discouraging sometimes if we see others seemingly flying with
ease, while we're still adjusting to our new feathers. But with practice, and the inevitable but necessary falls in
between, we will all one day learn to fly. :)

18 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

The Second Puberty

Daniel, MS2

Whether we like it or not, we all had to go through that rather awkward time of our
lives that people call, “puberty.” It is a time for physical growth, a time for rebellion against
parents, and a time for your first crush. Most importantly though, it is a period when we
begin to ponder about our place in our milieu. I think that this process of maturation and
identity development began for me as well in my teenage years, even though it has yet to
meet its end.
Going through medical school, I find myself in the midst of a second puberty—
minus the growth, unless you count the horizontal growth that seems to be limitless. As I
prepare to delve into the ranks of physicians, arguably some of the most respected people
in the world, I realize that I am having to develop attributes that deserve this respect. Yes,
these attributes are exactly what one may guess them to be: sympathy, kindness, respect
for others, humanism, and more. These terms were not unfamiliar to me as my family, my
teachers, and the medical community often emphasized their importance. I might even
dare say that I applied these attributes in some of my interactions with others. However, as
I meditate more on what it means to be a respected physician, or a respected person for that
matter, I realize that there is a difference between practicing these attributes out of profes-
sionalism and being a person who embodies them.
My big mistake was the adoption of the idea that professionalism was the goal.
Professionalism is not a goal. It is rather the bare minimum we must retain for a functional
community. Professionalism is not an unfaltering proof of maturity and growth. It is simply
a sign that we have learned to go through the required motions. I think that most people
already know this. The problem is that many people, including me, are satisfied with this
bare minimum. Please do not take this the wrong way. I believe that professionalism is a
good thing. We need more of it in our communities. However, as I meditated about this
time of maturation, this second puberty, I realized that I should not be satisfied at the level
of professionalism. I should reach even higher to actually become that individual for whom
acts of kindness and words of compassion come as naturally as breathing. I hope to shoot
for that higher level of maturity and sympathy such that even when I miss, I will still land
among the stars of professionalism.
During puberty, the brain goes through many transformations and remodeling of
neural pathways. Note of importance is the fact that these changes are highly influenced by
those around the individual. While my brain may not be experiencing the drastic changes
that occurred during my adolescence, my character is certainly being remodeled during
this second puberty. Knowing this, I am exceedingly grateful for many of the medical staff,
fellow colleagues, and patients in this Maryland community because they constantly re-
mind me what it means to embody compassion. While I am uncertain exactly how I can
become whom I seek to become, I know that people in my life will not hesitate to help and
guide me in the right direction. This will take time—of this I am sure. Will this growth ever
end? I am unsure. However, I hope that with every step that I take, I will move closer and
closer to joining the ranks of those who, whether they realize it or not, inspire others with
their effortless acts of compassion.

19The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Psychiatry Murals
Vy Do, @vyyendo, vyyendo.com,
Recovery Committee, Dept. of Psychiatry,
& The Creative HeArts Team

In January 2020, the Recovery Committee in the Psychiatry Units at the University of Maryland
Medical Center recruited D.C. based artist Vy Do and the Creative HeArts team to lead in the
design and creation of a pair of murals to brighten up the Adult and Geriatric Psychiatry Units.
Dozens of medical students contributed the chalking and painting of these masterpieces.
To the right, we share with you some of the feedback from the wonderful patients on the Unit.

20 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

“It simply provides more color in an otherwise “Helps distract from the mundane +
bland space. Paint colors & other touches are problems I face inside + out of this
critical in my opinion to patient recovery.” place. Thank you, it’s b-e-a-utiful!”

“When walking through the hallway to “Individualized positive art sharing-
my room I get a chance to look at the much love & respect. Thank you
art and read a slogan that helps me.” guys very very much. Gracious!”

“It makes the unit more vibrant!”

“The slogan is a good one, I like the twist you did. In N.A. we say “It brightens up every-
‘you’re to go through to grow through.’ You have it in reverse, thing and my mood
but it means I still have to work through my situation and grow lifts. It looks beautiful
comes after I over come that huddle—growth.” and I love the quote.”

21The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Spring
Cara Dooley, MS4

22 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

NABS ANATOMY.04: INDUCTION,

MAINTENANCE, EMERGENCE
Nabid Ahmed, MS4

“My Lord, increase me in knowledge.”
Induction, maintenance, emergence: the three stages of general anesthesia,
and the three stages that depict our journeys as medical trainees.

23The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Mirrors
Nicole Mair, MS3

24 year old female with history of recent incarceration, multiple substance use disorder, and
depression presents to the family medicine clinic for prenatal care. Standard. How quickly I’d
grown accustomed to that tiny snapshot of a life quite unlike my own. And yet, despite how
deeply I care about each of my patients, the emotional ravine between our worlds is palpable.
Two sharp, unceremonious knocks on the door of Room 18, and I enter. “Ms. Lach? Hi, I’m
the medical student.” Two fatigued, disinterested eyes drag themselves away from an iPhone
screen to meet mine. In that moment, a feeling of familiarity creeps into my chest, descending
into my stomach. Have I met this woman before? “Okay… hi.” Her piercing brown eyes sit in a
pale face with soft features, framed by dark brown shoulder-length hair that could probably use
a washing. Already skeptical, one eyebrow lifts on her forehead as she waits for my next move.
Suddenly, I know where I’ve seen this face before. How many times did I make this same face
as a teenager to my mother as she tried to snap a quick photo of me? It doesn’t feel great to be
on the receiving end of that look. As my eyes sweep from her face down to the baggy T-shirt
still concealing her pregnancy, past her bright turquoise acrylic nails, and down to her worn
sneakers, a full-length mirror materializes in the halfway space between her and me. No longer
am I analyzing her – I’m peering back into my own eyes. In the mirror, I see myself in another
life just as real as my own. In this alternate reality, I might have been born in a trailer park to a
single mother addicted to heroin, rather than the suburbs to two engineers whose major vice
was morning coffee. Or maybe I attended inner city public schools, and was taught by teachers
who were overworked and under-paid, instead of learning within the pristine walls of a much
better-funded county. How easy it would be for this 8-by-10 room to spin on its axis, placing me
onto the exam table and the 24 year old woman in front of me into a white coat and stethoscope.
I wonder if this mirror goes both ways.
Patient-identifying details have been altered for confidentiality.

24 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Rocky Mountain Healers
Donna L Parker, MD, Faculty
25The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Are You Satisfied with Your Care?
Andrew Pak, MS3

26 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

There is always a space to feel it
and it’s not when you’re rocking on stiff feet
pockets bursting of paper names
scrambling to recite
with confidence
with calculated empathy A Space to Feel It
with robotic efficiency
a sufficient story.
Not his story, or hers. Michaella Reif, MS4

A story for them,
for those others around you
also looking for a space to feel it
but whose feet have calloused to the search.

There is always a space to feel it
and it’s not in the blank pixels
anchoring that single red value
that tells you poison is power over that
which eats her,
that gowns will be starched and daily
not glitter and occasional,
not celebratory,
not asked for.
That redness peeks out
from masked optimism,
one of few subtle clues
that burst from the flicker
like pain from the stomach
here to ruin.

There is always a space to feel it
and it’s not as you slip out of white
and blend into the throngs
and bustle to bed
because you are allowed to leave.
Sometimes, anyway, you are allowed to leave.
So you can tame that deep corner
that aches to be known,
that lures you to action,
strong enough to guide you,
labile enough to collapse you,
but which you conquer daily
until you can find the space.

27The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

7:59 PM The Long Night
Anonymous, Medical Student

28 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

An Interview with

Dr. Laundette Jones
Maria Novitskaya, MS1

I first met Dr. Laundette Jones when she lectured to our
MS1 class about breast cancer. She had an infectious en-
ergy about her which made it clear that she is a beacon of
wisdom and positivity. I was inspired to interview her after
I read a Baltimore Times article about her titled,“U of M
professor and breast cancer researcher was once homeless.”
Scan this QR code to hear Maria’s interview with Dr. Jones!

29The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Outreach
Jocelyn Wu, MS1

30 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

BCG

Ankur Vaidya, MS4

BCG Vaccination in Surat, India. A vaccination to help prevent against tuberculosis
and leprosy that is not mandatory in the United States.

31The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Calle de Colón, 1
Michael Sikorski, GS2

“Ella es caótica, cercana y orgullosa
Te hará pensar que baila sólo para tí.
Puede ser que la conozcas, tal vez te haya enloquecido
Si la viste paseando por el Rastro los domingos
Puede ser que la conozcas, si te digo que su nombre es Madrid
Es Madrid.” – Marwan (excerpt from “Puede Ser Que la Conozcas”)

32 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Trooper Landing
Aloise Diedrich, MS4
33The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

VKiimsiua AabVltahiAsi, MurSta1 iln AHretaliinngHealing

AArrttwwoorrkkininhhoossppitiatalslshhaassbbeeeenn sshhoowwnn ttoo iimmpprroovvee ppaattiieenntt eexxppeerriieennccee aanndd cclliinniiccaall oouuttccoommeess,,
ssuucchh aass sshhoorrtteerrlelennggtthhssooffstsatya,yi,nicnrceraesaesdedpapianintotloerlearnacnec,ea,nadnddedcreecareseadseadnxainextiye.tPy.a tPieantitesnts
tipcecetipnnhhaavvrrciceliielismdrsmdrffeeeeedednanrarniniressercnecesneeseecasddsca-t-.t.b tituboppiuAaoAarnaarsefnsfettettegiieeaedegdornarnn oisnnsddttiudundgosslgoggaaiafgniglonttnafeiiegrodssgnsswffrsrtdtaawiceairosccoasrectatnnedpisiarosao.seedpnrnsaaa.ecrsswsahacnne,hiewtxdId,xh aiactaaImmrhmebbcpapomreeltlseteteettoatsdsleeystroertaolgfdryrfcreveeovcicgaeisolosrlunveeuvcaeceeaaolrtnrlnliayyloaed.r.anrctHHtbnttioloodohtufhppnaeamebtethfflcoyuuuucofellopleulyyushml,h,dlotdmmuyhtbeoaoboepstgrerhepreetaollphhiahptlcacaooohitectgsssdeppraetadiihlitftpinaecaaihnilelttshsslfiohcocnaastoalghplnnsfoaieoptwmtmefiatllaioofsnolvsvgfleoelofrooiiwnnrf

34 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

A Special ICM Day in the Cancer Center
Jessica Palmer, MS1
35The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Reflections on my Dad’s Diagnosis
Laura (Lucy) Murnane, MS1

I was heading to Johns Hopkins Hospital, it was think scientifically and depersonalize my family’s
10 o’clock in the morning, and it was Thanksgiving experience was more than appealing, so I made a
Day. “Working?” my Lyft driver inquired sympa- mental note to look up this paper at home. Having
thetically as I climbed into the back of his Toyota just taken a Molecular and Cell Biology exam less
Corolla. “Oh, no, I’m, um, visiting my grandpa,” I than twenty-fours before arriving at the hospital, I
managed. “He’s in the hospital.” This was a lie. I was started rambling off random facts I knew about the
actually visiting my dad, who was recovering from molecular mechanism of cancer, even though these
a radical prostatectomy for prostate cancer the day facts were from one sole lecture, even though that
before. It caught me off guard that I seemed unable one sole lecture was specific to breast cancer. Re-
to share the truth with this stranger. However, I gurgitating PowerPoint slides seemed easier than
settled comfortably into this new version of real- internalizing the fact that my strong, fearless, self-
ity. “I’m heading to my parents’ house after, though, sufficient father was suddenly tethered to IVs and,
in Bethesda,” I added, “so that’ll be nice.” My Lyft for the time-being at least, fully dependent on us.
driver locked eyes with me in the rearview mirror, A few days later, with my dad home from the hos-
smiling and nodding. I bolted out of the car when pital, I settled onto my parents’ couch to peruse the
we reached our destination. invasive species paper my mom was so vehement
The shiny floor of the new Johns Hopkins inpatient about. The overarching concept made a lot of sense;
building seemed obnoxiously sterile and mod- cancer cells are similar to the native flora and fauna
ern on Thanksgiving. Would it kill them to put of one’s body, but the cancer cells are able to out-
out some fall foliage or a papier-mâché turkey? I compete these native microorganisms due to cer-
thought. The hospital was pretty empty, but I felt a tain adaptations, not unlike invasive species over-
strange camaraderie with the other visitors I passed running endemic ones in an ecosystem. I didn’t
in the halls; I’m sure none of us expected to be here read much beyond the abstract, but I couldn’t seem
on this day. When I got to my dad’s room, he did to get the article out of my mind. I kept thinking,
look better than the day before, and, comfortingly, aren’t we all thrust out of our known “ecosystem”
my mom seemed her usual self, organizing things and into a new one when ourselves or a loved one
around the room and chatting up the poor nurse is diagnosed with a serious illness? And don’t we all
who happened to be working that day. But I didn’t have to, in some sense, adapt or die when thrown
hug my dad. He just looked so breakable and pale this curveball?
sitting in the tan hospital chair with a catheter flow- My first thought when my dad told me he had pros-
ing out from under his gown. I still regret it. tate cancer was that it would probably be okay. I
“You know, a few colleagues of mine were recently had only been in medical school for two weeks, but
discussing a paper comparing cancer to an invasive prostate cancer had already been brought up as a
species,” said my mom, a marine scientist, after I very common but highly curable cancer. However,
had settled into the room. “I really think it’s go- I could tell by the look on my normally calm, ratio-
ing to be the future of oncology.” I had certainly nal dad’s face when he told me the news that there
never heard this analogy before, but the chance to

36 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

was something more to it. He started to explain that lihood that is taken over by these warlike, multiply-
his cancer’s Gleason score was high, and that his ing cells. The lens through which a patient and their
doctor had seen one of his lymph nodes “light up” family previously viewed the world is immediately
on an abdominal CT scan. My two weeks in medi- shattered by the unexpectedness, the anxiety, and
cal school were more than enough to know this was the immenseness of a cancer diagnosis.
not a good sign. My family is lucky. My dad’s surgery was success-
The hardest aspect of my dad’s diagnosis was the ful, and his pathology report came back 100% clear.
way it shook up my sense of normalcy. All of sud- He can now be declared, cautiously, cancer free. For
den, going to my parents’ house would induce a now, our world has tilted back to its normal axis,
sense of apprehensive dread; I would often feel but- and the unease caused by the cancer cells’ invasion
terflies in my stomach and an unmistakable sensa- seems farther and farther away with each passing
tion of nausea as I turned onto the Bethesda exit off day. But I vow to never forget this experience when
of I-495. It was much easier to throw myself into I am practicing as a physician. I will strive to re-
medical school- where most of my classmates had member that what is just another day at work for
no clue what was going on with my family- than to me may be the scariest day of my patient’s whole
face this new reality at home. life. I will strive to remember that our appointment
Eventually, after a rather invasive biopsy, the doc- may be the moment that knocks my patient’s world
tors determined there was no prostate cancer in my off its axis.
dad’s abdominal lymph node. We all exhaled a lit- I am now considering a career in oncology. It
tle. However, his oncologist cautioned, we wouldn’t would be a privilege to guide patients and families
truly know if the cancer had spread or not until my through the jarring uncertainty of a cancer diagno-
dad’s prostate was taken out and the surrounding sis, to accompany them on this journey of an eco-
tissue biopsied after surgery. system- of a life- invaded. Amongst the exams, the
The surgery was scheduled for the day before competition, the stress of medical school, I remem-
Thanksgiving. I was determined to be an adult ber that it is an honor to pursue this profession; it
about it- after all, I thought, only a child would is an honor to be let in during the hardest moments
be so selfish as to put her own affections for a silly of people’s lives.
holiday above her father’s health. Yet I couldn’t help
my tumultuous emotions from continuously bub-
bling up throughout the autumn months. It was so
difficult to care so much, and yet be able to do so
little. It was so difficult to face the new, uncertain
adventure of medical school just when the com-
fort and security of my family seemed to have been
ripped out from underneath me.

If cancer can be thought of as an invasive species,
then what is the ecosystem it is invading? Before
my dad’s diagnosis I would have unequivocally said
it was a person’s body- their organs, their tissues,
their cells. However, I now think the ecosystem
overrun by cancer is broader than this; it is not just
a person’s physical body, but rather their whole live-

37The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Nicholas Bishop

Eldersburg, MD

Columbia, Pennsylvania Baltimore, Maryland
1920's 2019

38 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

My great grandfather, Samuel McNeal, graduated from
Jefferson Medical College in 1925 and I am slated to graduate from University
of Maryland School of Medicine in 2022. I have thought about how medicine has
changed over the ~100 years between my great grandfather and I, and the list is almost

never ending. But more importantly, I have
realized a core thing that has stayed the same within medicine:

Treating Patients with Compassion.

Dr. McNeal treated patients in his rural hometown of
Columbia, Pennsylvania for over 50 years and worked as an army doctor throughout

WWII; while here in Baltimore our hospital mostly treats patients residing in West
Baltimore. Despite these differences in backgrounds, all these patients come to
physicians in times of need and look to us for help. That help looks vastly

different in 2020 than it did in 1925 from a medical standpoint, but the basic tenant
of caring about

who the patient is
remains. Dr. McNeal was known
in his community for connecting with patients on a personal level, learning
about their families and going beyond “what the medicine required”. He went
above and beyond treating patients in Columbia at their homes, their small
community hospital or even his own home.

As I continue in my medical training, I hope to emulate these
qualities of compassionate care for my patients as Dr. McNeal did. In today’s
world of medicine, it is easier than ever to see patients as a number instead
of a person. We are bogged down with 10-minute patient visits, endless electronic
charting and a frustratingly complex healthcare system. However, despite these
challenges, we still see many physicians going above and beyond for the care of their

patients- showing great
compassion and humility towards their patient’s situation and ailments.

 
Medicine will continue to change with new discoveries and new
challenges in the years ahead– but treating patients compassionately will
remain a staple of our profession. And when we struggle to remain in this
mindset, we should look back to those that came before us, like my great grandfather

Dr. McNeal, and realize it is our duty to
continue the tradition of being compassionate,

humanistic physicians.

Nick Bishop, MS2

39The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

The image is of my great grandmother during a
visit my father and I had with her in her nurs-
ing home. She is slowly developing dementia
and would repeatedly speak in circles, having a
conversation last about three minutes before she
would be surprised to see us again. Due to the
cultural stigma associated with her forgetfulness,
change in behavior, and circular speak, my great
grandmother endured a period of difficulty sever-
al years ago as her dementia set on. Conservative
members of the family refused to accept that she
had a medical illness affecting her ability to think
and act clearly – they seemed to only notice that
she was no longer able to complete her activities
of daily living and ended up placing her in a nurs-
ing home because no one knew how to deal with
her “craziness”. The word “dementia” in Hindi is
“ (paagalapan)” which translates directly
to “madness”. The acceptance of mental health
as medical illness is still not as prevalent in In-
dian culture as it is in the Western World. Forms
of dementia are interpreted as craziness, losing
one’s mind, and the disease is often not taken se-
riously as a loss of cognitive function. Conserva-
tive Indian culture places a strong emphasis on
will power and self-discipline, and therefore any
diversion from normal behavior is seen as weak-
ness. The culture is also incredibly stubborn and
difficult to change. This image captures my great

Paagalapan grandmother as a human, regardless of whatever
pathological process may be affecting her mind.
Her age is written on her face and is representa-
tive of all the memories she has yet to be affected.
Ankur Vaidya, MS4 Although she may change and one day forget, this
image as she happily greeted me a fifth time that
morning will be unforgettable.

40 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Golden Hour
Kavita Bhatnagar, MS4
41The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

New Beginnings
Chelsea Alvarado, MS4

42 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

Dark Sunrise
Mary Melati, MS2

I have come to learn that there is beauty in everything, and
it is up to us to see it, especially in the darkest moments.

43The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

At the End of the Day

Saad Shamshair, MS4

I often reflect on how sunsets can be beautiful no matter where in the world we are.
Here are some of my favorite sunsets captured over these past four years. And as the
sun sets on this chapter of our lives, we all have so many more sunsets to look forward
to wherever we go.

44 The Healer’s Art ◆ 2020

opyright © 2020 Copyright © 2020

may be used, reproduced, editeAd,llstroigrehdts, orersterravnesdm. Nittoedpainrtaonfythis publication may be used, reproduced, edited, stored, or transmitted in any
ission from the publisher and authorms aonf noerrigwinhaaltwsooervkesr. without written permission from the publisher and authors of original works.

w Printed in Maryland, USA Published May 2020 w Printed in Maryland, USA

am go towards programming and futuArenypudbolnicaattioionnsst.o the Creative HeArts team go towards programming and future publications.