December 2016

by Pam Thompson
All of us, regardless of our background or culture, experience a number of transitions throughout our lives. They may be a change in a relationship, career, home, or in our health. We can choose to embrace and learn from these transitions, or to resist them.
William Bridges in his book Transitions: Making Sense
of Life’s Changes (2004) differentiates between a change and a transition. He views change as external and situational, such as moving to a new city or becoming a parent. He sees a transition as the internal work we do to reorient and redefine ourselves and incorporate external changes into our lives.
Life experience and research show that if we don’t do the internal transition work, we
will keep repeating the same patterns in our lives. For example, a man or woman
who marries 3 times and keeps choosing similar partners and revisiting the same issues, never resolving them and remaining unhappy, because they haven’t taken the time to get clear on who they are, and what they want in their lives.
So how can you embrace and learn from life transitions?
Bridges, based on 30 years of research, has identified 3 phases people go through regardless of the type of transition they
are experiencing: 1) an ending; 2) a neutral zone; and 3) a new beginning. Each phase has work associated with it to help us embrace and learn from the transition, and evolve.
PHASE 1 – ENDING
An ending is the end of a relationship, job, or career.
The “work” associated with
this phase is letting go and celebrating the positive aspects and lessons learned from it.
A personal example is a recent move I made with my partner from the interior of British Columbia living in the dream home we purchased 8 years ago, to a city on Vancouver Island where we know hardly anyone. We moved because my partner was headhunted and offered a position that was too good to turn down. We decided to sell our 5-bedroom home and downsize to a 2-bedroom apartment. It’s been a huge adjustment, more than I could have imagined, as I’ve moved many times.
eydisauthenticliving.com 51


It took a few weeks after we decided to put our house on the market for me to “let go” of the house and realize that “home” is where my heart is, and I can make a new home anywhere I choose. I released and let go
of a lot of furniture, clothing, jewelry and possessions. The process enabled me to give to people who didn’t have a lot and to experience the joy of giving. I’m now in the process of celebrating that I no longer have a lawn to mow, a garden to “put to bed” or a driveway to shovel. I am celebrating the “lightness”, freedom and joy I feel from not having so much “stuff” and surrounding myself with carefully chosen possessions that bring me joy.
PROVEN STRATEGIES FOR EMBRACING THE ENDING PHASE
Go back over your life and think about your experiences with
endings (the loss of a loved one, death of a pet, a move or a friend moving away). Reflect on these and notice if there is
a pattern in how you deal with endings. Do you avoid saying goodbye? Do you quickly move on and try not to think about the experience or the feelings associated with it? Are you comfortable with this pattern? Has it been serving you well or would you like to change it?
Write a letter to a person you
are leaving (partner or employer) outlining a number of things you’ve learned from that particular job or relationship. Then burn
the letter ceremoniously. At the same time, feel the positive things about the experience and release any resistance you have to moving forward.
PHASE 2- NEUTRAL ZONE
In this phase, you may feel stuck, angry, confused and uncertain of
what to do next. The main work of the neutral zone is “getting clear” and envisioning the relationship, career or home of your dreams.
When Alan and I decided
to move we took some time to envision the home of our dreams. Using the stem I
see, and taking turns, we shared and wrote down all the characteristics we wanted in a new home. For example, I see:
A 2 bedroom apartment with a view of the ocean and mountains
A swimming pool
Friendly neighbours
A sense of community
A gym in the facility or close by
The ability to walk to work ...
Guess what, after looking online, within a short space of
52 | Eydis Magazine


time, we found an apartment that met all our specs!
The interesting thing about
the transition journey is that it
is NOT unidirectional. In other words, you can move from the neutral zone back to the ending before moving successfully through to the new beginning.
Initially, I experienced much excitement and joy at the adventure of living in a new city and creating a new home. I found a yoga studio about 12 minutes walk away and started cycling, which I hadn’t done
in years. I walked and cycled everywhere. However, after about 6 weeks things began
to change. When we sold our house and our furniture arrived we lived in chaos for a time. There was so much “stuff” and nowhere to put it all. I had to make some decisions to let go of things I initially thought would fit. I became easily angered and felt “hemmed in” by the small space. I became upset with the quality of workmanship of our recently renovated apartment;
it was certainly nowhere near what I was used to. After looking around for another place to rent, I realized our view and location is amazing compared to what
is available in this low-vacancy market. So I made the choice
to “suck it up” and make our apartment a home that I would enjoy living in. I started to think about all I am grateful for and appreciate in our new place. I’m now feeling ready to move on to the next phase of the transition journey.
PROVEN STRATEGIES FOR EMBRACING THE NEUTRAL ZONE
Get in touch with and acknowledge your feelings, rather than pushing them down and not experiencing them. This begins the process of healing from the inside out.
Express your feelings through journaling, dancing, painting, drawing ... .
Spend time in nature. Go for
a walk by yourself in a nearby park or plan a hike with a friend. Being in nature is grounding, helps us clear negative energy, relax and clear our mind. Reach out to a friend, counselor, or coach for support.
PHASE 3 – THE NEW BEGINNING
The third phase of the transition journey is when you take action toward the vision you created in the Neutral Zone. This phase can be likened to a butterfly breaking out of its cocoon. It can be a time of real transformation, particularly if you’ve taken the time to learn and grow during the neutral zone.
PROVEN STRATEGIES FOR EMBRACING THE NEW BEGINNING PHASE Post the vision of a relationship, a home, the job of your dreams (you created in the neutral zone) in a place you can see it. It can be written and also made into
a vision board. Make a point of looking at it and saying it
aloud at least once a day and ideally twice (in the morning and evening before retiring as if you’ve already achieved it.)
Develop an action plan. List key activities to move you toward your vision with realistic timeframes. Include descriptions of what success will look and feel like when you’ve completed each action.
PARTING THOUGHTS
The next time you face a life transition, I encourage you to think about Bridge’s model and try out some of the strategies. From my own journey and work with clients around the world, I know that if you want a life of positive health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace, it is helpful to understand the transition journey and do the work associated with each phase. A life coach can assist you with this process.
Pamela Thompson, BN, MSc. is a certified life & business coach, keynote speaker, facilitator, global health & management consultant, & author of the #1 Best Selling
book “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide
for High Achieving Women”. She has a diverse background and experience as a nurse, university professor, project manager and consultant in 5 continents. Pam is passionate about supporting women to thrive in life and in business, and speaks and writes about balanced and mindful leadership. She is President of Creative Life Coaching - http://creativelivingcommunity.com/
Personal Facebook: https://www.facebook. com/pamela.thompson.52831
Business Facebook: https://www.facebook. com/CreativeLivingCommunity
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ pamthompson2009
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ WomensCoachPam
eydisauthenticliving.com 53


Self-Growth




Soul
UNCHAINED
56 | Eydis Magazine


by Shari Alyse
Sometimes things don’t go as expected. Dreams you have, seem to keep eluding you each time you try to reach out for them. The person you thought would always be there for you or simply love you the way you hoped to be loved, just isn’t showing up in that way. The job you thought
you wanted doesn’t hold the joy you thought it would. Everything and every person around you just doesn’t seem to hold the magic you were hoping for.
So what do you do? Do you throw in the towel? Do you concede to the idea that maybe you’re just not meant to be happy and your life is not meant to be blessed like other people’s lives are? Do you start questioning your purpose in this world and start believing that perhaps you’re not worthy of having the life you desire? Maybe you’re finally at the point where it just seems easier to stop challenging yourself, lie down and let life have its way with you.
DO NOT DO IT!
There are reasons why
the things you want aren’t showing up the way you want them to.
eydisauthenticliving.com 57


DISILLUSIONED?
This might sound harsh,
but you might actually be deluding yourself as to what you truly want. The job you think you need in order to
be happy might only be
your desire because you mistakingly think it will fill some unfulfilled part of you. No job, person or material possession will ever occupy that empty space within you. That space is longing for a deeper connection with you. Your true job is to figure out what it is that you really want to
give rather than what it is you want to take. You have to dig deep and figure out what lies beneath the surface of your desires. Maybe the reason you want that “in the spotlight” job is because you really want to feel loved. Perhaps you never felt seen as a child and this is your chance to show up and off for the world. This is your chance for all the world to never ignore you again because your face is right in theirs. And while you might achieve those accolades,
the truth is, they won’t last or after awhile, they won’t even
matter to you. You see, nothing can make you feel seen except YOU. Only you can really believe you are worthy of being here and no job or person will do that for you. You will find that out quickly. Choose something to do that serves people rather than yourself. In that service, you will find your joy and ultimately start seeing who you really are. I’m encouraging you to take a closer look at why you are choosing a particular path, whatever path that may be, and decide
if it’s really about your love for it or for what you feel you will gain from it.
So, the object of your affection just isn’t everything you had hoped for. You worked and waited so hard to be in a relationship and suddenly you find yourself still not happy. Maybe you knew all along that this wasn’t the right person but you also knew that they had some great qualities and maybe, just maybe, you could make it work. Maybe they
fed a certain part of you that felt unsatiated. Temporarily, they will feed you but you
will still find yourself yearning for more. You see, when you stop expecting others to be a
58 | Eydis Magazine


certain way and you just allow • them to show up as they are,
then you will really know love
and a beautiful relationship will
be born and flourish. Anything
in between that just isn’t real.
It’s not fair, it’s not honest and
it’s not love. That doesn’t mean
that it won’t work out, but it
might be a rockier road while
the two of you try to navigate
your way through it. Love • flows. Sure, there are naturally some bumps along the way,
but not because either of you are placing those obstacles there. Life can be challenging at times but we don’t have
to make it more challenging because we are not showing up as ourselves or because we aren’t letting someone else. Something to really think about: If you find yourself unhappier in a relationship than being alone, it’s time to pack up those bags and hit the road. Scary? Sure, but
not any scarier than staying somewhere where you’re • feeling more alone than if you
were actually alone.
SO NOW WHAT?
No matter where you are in your life and what challenges you might be facing, you can get through them. You do not have to roll over and let them keep compounding until you finally have a breakdown. Here are some things to think about to help you figure out if where you are is where you want to be.
Take stock of what is going on in your life and really look at you. Take a look around and figure out if everything and everyone that is present in your life
is really aiding you along your journey or hindering you.
Take a look and see
if what is showing up
in your life is really in alignment with who you think you are and what you truly desire in your heart. Not in your mind and Ego, but your soul. Your soul is always guiding you, always nudging you, always kicking you in the ass when you need it, but you so often ignore
it and then wonder how you end up in the situations you do.
Remind yourself that challenges often show up when we aren’t on the path we truly seek. We often get knocked off course so we can navigate our way back to our true paths. Allow the challenges you’re facing help guide you to a breakthrough instead of a breakdown!
live your truth and follow your heart, things show up where and when you need them to. The money, the friends, the place to crash, the ride you need, the job opportunity, etc., but you must be willing to take that leap. You must be willing to trust that when you do, all your needs will be met. It’s time to turn that dimmer switch on your soul back up, suit up and jump back into the game! Your spirit wants to be set free and it’s time to let go of all the things that are keeping you chained and tethered to comfort that’s not really comfortable. It’s time to love yourself enough to give yourself and the world what you are really here to give. YOU! Your whole being filled with light, love, freedom and no barriers!
Shari Alyse is the Co-Founder of The Wellness Universe and the CIO (Chief Inspirational Officer) of Soul Ventures, Inc., a company focused
on being a catalyst for positive change on the planet. Shari is also a motivational speaker and author who has dedicated her life to uplifting and helping to reignite the light
we each have shining within us. Along
with partner and Founder of www. TheWellnessUniverse.com, Anna Pereira (CEO/Soul Ventures, Inc.), they have built a thriving community of world changers and thought leaders whose soul mission and purpose is to use their lives to better the world. Shari believes we all have unique gifts to offer the world and once we learn to embrace, celebrate, and share these gifts, we truly can light up the world.
Trust me, I know it’s scary to make big changes, however, when you are ready to really
eydisauthenticliving.com 59


DOESN’T FEEL LIKE
A WORK RELATIONSHIP
by Carol Benson
Do you dread
going to work on Mondays? Or how about team meetings? Project deadlines? The challenging personalities that bring chaos and eggshell- stepping to those who come into their space? And of course, let’s not forget that in your workplace there are NO CLONES OF YOU!
Wouldn’t work (and life!) be grand if that were the case? You wouldn’t have to pick up the slack of others or clean
up their oversight messes. Deadlines would be met on time. Quick fixes wouldn’t be necessary. Interruptions, that for some seem to be life and death in the moment begging for your undivided attention,
would become a thing of the past. Your work life would be a whole lot less stressful with no relationships to navigate. Yes, a clone of you would be the answer it seems.
And as far as I know that
hasn’t happened yet. So in the meantime, while waiting for your life at work to become simpler,
60 | Eydis Magazine


there are some other options available to you right now.
First off, stress does not easily lend itself to experiencing inner nourishment in your
life or business. In fact, stress negatively impacts a toxic work culture overall. According to a recent survey from the Harvard T.H. Chan School of
Public Health in collaboration with National Public Radio and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation found that nearly half (44 percent) of working adults report that their current job affects their overall health, but “only 28 percent of those believe that effect is a good one. The survey identified the following areas of job-sourced negative impact on stress levels (43 percent), eating habits (28 percent), sleeping patterns
(27 percent) and weight (22 percent).
Other recent data shows that
36 percent of workers suffer from work-related stress and that costs U.S. businesses $30 billion a year in lost workdays. Experts acknowledge that many of these health problems can be corrected if companies adopt
a much more significant role creating a “culture of health”
in the workplace where workers feel empowered to pursue living a healthier life, not just access to after-work yoga classes or fruit in the break room! (http:// news.harvard.edu/gazette/ story/2016/07/the-high-price-of- workplace-stress/)
So how does this impact you and all of your work relationships?
Well, you can’t hide from relationships. They are everywhere; including in the workplace. Imagine how your daily work life would positively shift if you actually found a commonality of purpose and other needed ingredients with your co-workers and teams?
Any stress would be almost nonexistent for you and them.
You may be wondering how this could be possible and if it’s so easy, how come it hasn’t come to your workplace yet, right? Skepticism is an opening for learning more information.
In our consultations and trainings with executive leaders and owners, there seems to be a widespread angst on how to keep up with the fast-paced global marketplace; which has impacted not only revenue
and growth but also employee satisfaction. There’s some confusion on how to shift from the “way they’ve been doing business” to including more
of a local and global focus on positive impact. And sadly for many, they place more focus
on the bottom line profits than on their business teams. We’ve found that even in “triple bottom line – conscious businesses this continues to be true.
“Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.”
--Helen Keller Simply putting together
teams with a common focus isn’t the answer. It doesn’t address how to positively shift the team culture to connect, communicate and cooperate within the steps needed for a common outcome.
Each individual has a basic human desire to be
eydisauthenticliving.com 61


acknowledged for their contribution to the business
and working with others.
There are now trainings such
as mindfulness that forward- thinking businesses are providing for their employees. So the basic need of inner comfort and quieting the mind when it gets too active, is a critical portion of working from the “inside out” to develop more resiliency when facing a stressful co-worker or interaction at work.
“Great things in business are never done by one person. They’re done by a team of people.”
-Steve Jobs
In our experience working
with business executives and business owners, there’s a lot more to it than putting together a highly educated, degreed and experienced team of individuals. Each individual has their own modus operendi and personality quirks that can either lend to
a cohesive team or take away from the effectiveness and productivity of it. What they’re bringing to the table is much, much more impactful if they include others on the team.
So quieting your mind can be
a first step but then you must master some level of skillfulness to co-relate to others in a way that’s not only effective but also mutually fulfilling.
Now for many people who have been on a focused
success track, they’ve become immersed inside of their
own “get it done” style of productive effectiveness. It may appear that they are controlling or rigid in how they “do” things. And that can leave others feeling ignored, judged or insufficient in their own skillsets. Not exactly a safe environment for shining as part of the team, is it?
When you take all the individual team member personalities and put them together it can be a stressful mess! And when you get stressed-out being around all of these quirky personalities, that will negatively impact all the brain power areas you need to be successful in your work role and responsibilities. Yes, stress will do that!
62 | Eydis Magazine


Stress creeps up in surprising ways. Look around at your everyday life and you’ll see it everywhere. From an angry driver on the freeway to someone who cuts you off from a parking spot in the Whole Foods parking
lot. And of course, the recent
U. S. Presidential elections has provoked an outcry of stress reactions across political parties. Anxiousness, overwhelming
fear and “fight or flight” responses impacted by your parasympathetic nervous system firing off cortisol stress reaction hormones.
All of this robs you of your verve and motivation. Not to mention your ability to focus, stay emotionally regulated and ready to work with others at work. When you’re in a state of stress, the last thing you want to do is to interact with all the personalities that surround you! It would be so much easier if you did have your very own “you” clone to deal with it all. But since it’s not happening that way today, there’s another way.
So here are a few beginning tools that may make a difference for you in lessening your workplace relationship stress.
1. Sit with your awareness of how you perceive a co- worker. Really get into a specific time and place where they got under your skin. Pay attention how you were feeling and if that emotion comes up fresh each time you hear their voice or know you’ll see them.
2. Be willing to consider and then practice another way of viewing them. Think
of it as if you’re picking up a different colored lens to see them. Try
on for size alternative feelings of empathy, kindness, appreciation, acknowledgement, etc. instead of all of your previous judgments of them!
3. Step into truly being a leadership presence. To
do this, recall a time when you were unstoppable and feeling really confident. It could be a moment outside of work when everything just jelled seamlessly to create a positive outcome. Pause for a moment and experience the emotional feelings you had. If you’re
really engaging with this memory, you may begin to notice a sense of renewal, connection and joyful ease inside of you.
Doing these 3 tools will give you a fresh opportunity to notice different styles of each one of your co-workers. You may see that the way you are with time management, how you express yourself and overall mindsets are uniquely yours.
As a bonus, when you use your new lens to observe others, you may notice commonalities you didn’t consider previously.
And as for cloning YOU – continue as you are “under construction!”
Carol and Paul Benson are both accomplished mentors, authors, speakers
and trainers.
Carol, a licensed Speech Language Pathologist, specializes in emotional and relational
intelligence strategies and leadership training for business teams. Paul Benson, a multimillion dollar business owner, is well-versed in cooperative team development, sales, negotiation and helping businesses improve their performance using unique best business practices.
As authors of the highly-acclaimed book, “5 Steps to Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis as Opportunity,” (2013, Highpoint Life) Carol and Paul know firsthand what it takes to use a wider scope of mindsets as the competitive edge in a fast-past, ever changing global marketplace.
www.itdoesntfeellikework.com [email protected]
eydisauthenticliving.com 63


6
6
4
4|
PRACTICE RECEIVING DURING THE Giving Season
by Wini Curley, Ph.D.
W
up, it was always
stressful and frustrating for
me to figure out what kind of birthday or Christmas gift to get
|
E
Ey
yd
di
i
s
sM
M
a
ag
ga
az
zi
in
n
e
e
hen I was growing
for my mother. It seemed that no matter what I picked out, it didn’t make her happy. As I got older, I noticed that she reacted the same way to gifts from my


dad. Mom always complained about the color, the style, the size, the use or purpose of the item, or some other feature that dissatisfied her. I remember
many trips to the store to return or exchange whatever it was she had been given. In fact, a common phrase for her to say when she opened a gift was
“What did you get that for?”. You may have someone in your life like this. Hopefully not to this extreme, but you get the picture. When you freely offer
e
5
ey
yd
d
i
is
s
a
au
u
t
th
he
e
n
n
t
ti
ic
cl
l
i
i
v
v
i
in
n
g
g.
.c
co
o
m6
m
65


them a gift or a compliment with warmth and sincerity, what you feel in return is a form of resistance. It may be strong or mild, but it feels like a block against the energy of giving
you are offering. They may say something like “you shouldn’t have” or “anyone could’ve done that job as well”. But how it impacts you isn’t just the words that they say, it is the energy behind the words. You know
the difference between how it feels to you when someone is genuinely open to accepting
a gift or compliment from you, and when someone resists.
How do you feel when someone resists a gift or compliment from you? I feel dissatisfied. When I
offer a gift or compliment, it is an expression of appreciation and/ or care for that person. When they deflect that energy from me, I feel incomplete in my process of giving. The act of delivering the gift or complement has been completed, but the energetic exchange between us still feels incomplete.
The reason for this feeling of being incomplete in my giving brings me to the main point for this story. This is also often a key lesson for clients to who want to reduce stress and strengthen their resilience skills. Here it is. Giving and receiving are not separate things. They are two halves of one whole. It is like breathing in, and breathing out. You must do
both to have a complete cycle
of breath. You can’t only breathe out or only breathe in, even when you try very hard. You end up gasping for air in either case. For an act of giving to be complete and satisfying, there must be someone on the other end willing and open to authentically receive what you have offered. Therefore, one of the very best gifts you have to give is to graciously and authentically receive what has been offered to you.
You can’t change how someone else responds. But you can pay attention to your own reactions. What is your automatic feeling when someone presents you with a gift or compliment? On the outside, you may have
66 | Eydis Magazine


complete composure and offer a warm and polite thank you. But
I am asking you to look at what happens on the inside. How do you feel? Are you simply excited or delighted as well as maybe honored and grateful? Or is there a resistance, either mild or strong, that rises within you? If so, at some level your receiving channels are not fully open. The bad news is - chances are good that the giver senses it. The good news is - you can alter this automatic response.
Here are three tips to help you expand your receiving channels.
Notice Your Resistance - If you are uncomfortable when a compliment or gift is offered, then notice and acknowledge to yourself that you have some resistance. It is much easier to clean up and change a habit when you are aware of it. Don’t beat yourself up for having
the resistance. Bringing it to conscious awareness turns it
from a negative to a positive. Now you can actively work on making a shift to be more open to receiving. Also, notice if there is a difference in your resistance when you are in a professional versus a personal situation or relationship. Maybe you can accept compliments from your family more easily than from your coworkers, or vice versa. Perhaps it is easier for you to receive from women than from men. Is there a particular person or situation that magnifies your resistance? Notice if you have a particular pattern or
threshold where your resistance kicks in. For example, homemade gifts are just fine with you but purchased or more expensive gifts make you uncomfortable. Just notice. These patterns are clues to where you might need some deeper work with a coach to clean up some limiting beliefs that no longer serve you.
Adjust Your Behavior - If your resistance is a pattern, then it may take some “fake it till you make it” behavior changes
to break that pattern. If you
find yourself looking away or deflecting the compliment or gift as somehow not necessary or underserved, adjust those actions. If you are babbling about why you don’t deserve it, take a breath and stop. Make an effort to look in the eyes of the person, and simply say thank you with the most sincerity
that you can muster. The more you do this, the easier it will
become, and the more genuine it will feel. Eventually, you will be able to connect to and receive the energy of appreciation
and acknowledgment being offered to you. Remember, that connection is what makes the giver’s experience complete.
Review and Reinforce - To accelerate your shift, take some time at the end of the day and review any experiences where your resistance to receiving popped up. Look back, and acknowledge yourself for any adjustments in your behavior that you were able to make, even if you judge them as clumsy or imperfect. The simple fact that you were able to notice your pattern and make an adjustment is an accomplishment to celebrate. Allow yourself to connect (once again) to the feeling of appreciation and acknowledgment that was offered to you. In many cases,
eydisauthenticliving.com 67


thank you notes (or a text or phone call) are the perfect opportunity to do this review, as well as to express your gratitude.
Becoming more and more comfortable with receiving can produce some surprising benefits. If you are an entrepreneur, perhaps there is a ceiling on your earning level ceiling that you can’t push past. As you clean up your receiving channels, the flow of money and opportunities can also expand. If you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or underappreciated at home
or work, as you expand your receiving channels you may find that you are better able to ask for, recognize, and accept support. As your ability to receive expands, you will likely notice that what you want and need crosses your path with more abundance and ease.
An advanced moved to opening your receiving channels is to pay attention to a relationship where your gifts are continually resisted. It took me many years to understand what was going on with my mother and her resistance to gifts from me
and Dad. Having a family of
my own opened my eyes to a more natural and joyful pattern of flow and balance between giving and receiving. I accepted the fact that I could not change my mother or her resistance reactions to offers of gifts, help, compliments, and almost any form of kindness. She certainly
had her own life journey and set of experiences that had brought her to that place.
It wasn’t that gifts from Dad and I weren’t good enough. It turned out to be just the opposite. Generosity overwhelmed her, andnotinagoodway. Tousea sports analogy, we were asking someone who was inexperienced at baseball and did not have
a mitt, to catch a 95 mile an hour fastball. She didn’t like it and wasn’t good at it. I finally decided to try some gentle tosses in place of the fastball.
What I noticed was that Mom’s discomfort was less when I gave her small, inexpensive (yes even cheap or tacky), practical items. It became clear to me that she could tolerate receiving at that level and even started to enjoy it. So, I got her little practical things for her birthday or Christmas or Mother’s Day, and she began
to be able to say thank you and not reject them automatically. I would also throw in one “nicer” gift just to test the waters. I finally found the balance that works
for both of us. We never had
a conversation about it, and I doubt that she even noticed the changes I was making. What I do know is that she is no longer felt confronted and completely resistant when I offered her something. She learned to stretch her ability to receive, and I was able to feel complete in my giving (well..., most of the time).
The month of December is a
perfect opportunity to practice the gift of receiving. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or maybe
a few birthdays like my family, there is an abundance of opportunities for giving and receiving. So, double your joy this season and into the New Year. Give as you wish, and
pay attention to the receiving tolerance levels of those who resist. To keep things in balance (like breathing in and breathing out), remember to practice opening your receiving channels to the appreciation, love, and acknowledgment that comes your way. Just remember, one
of the best gifts you have to give is to genuinely receive the gifts and compliments that are offered to you.
Wini Curley, Ph.D. is a Resilience Expert, Speaker, Consultant,
and Executive Coach. She shows leaders and their organizations
how to find their next win whether they are on a roll or in a hole. Over 10 years ago, she shifted from a 25-year scientific career determining cleanup needs to make environmental hazardous waste sites
safe. Now she helps clients clean up toxic thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and practices that contaminate their path to success.
Wini has coached successful leaders and entrepreneurs across 3 continents. She teaches business professionals to connect their hearts, minds, and spirits so they can awaken innovation and experience deeper satisfaction with work and life. Clean up the toxicities big or small at the leadership level, and watch the business heal and flourish.
Learn more about Wini and her programs at www.WiniCurley.com and www. GiftsFromWini.com
68 | Eydis Magazine


Live your authentic life
eydisauthenticliving.com 69


Dear Liberty,
I don’t like talking about my feelings. I’m always afraid people will think I’m silly or stupid.
It’s not so bad in situations where it doesn’t really matter if I say anything like in a group or at a party where other people are doing all the talking. I can usually get away without saying much and people just think I’m quiet.
But it’s a problem in more personal situations, like with my family or friends, and sometimes at work people ask how I feel about something
Dear Liberty
STUCK
BETWEEN A
ROCK AND A
HARD PLACE
by Liberty Forrest
but I’m afraid to say anything, especially if I think it’s going to make somebody mad or maybe someone will be upset with me.
It’s causing a problem now because, in some of my closer relationships, people say I’m putting up a wall or they think I’m mad at them for something, which isn’t the case. At least, not most of the time. I feel like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t! If I say anything, people will be mad at me, but if I stay quiet, they’re mad at me anyway. I don’t know what to do!
Signed,
Stuck between a rock and a hard place
70 | Eydis Magazine


Dear Stuck,
I can understand how you’re feeling. For many years, I struggled to
talk about how I felt, too. It can be really scary. But the only way to get over it is to face your fear of talking about your feelings and do it anyway. Clearly, your relationships are suffering for remaining silent. If you have any hope of fixing them, you’re going to have to speak up.
I would invite you to begin risking sharing your feelings and letting go of your fear of being judged by others. You might fear letting people see “the real you” but if you always let this stop you from truly being yourself, you will never know the full extent
of your capabilities and gifts. And your relationships will only get worse.
Rather than keeping your feelings to yourself so
no one can judge you for them, you would be better
served by learning to trust that you are entitled to feel however you want to feel. Sure, some people might disagree with you or even criticize you, but so what?
You don’t have to let it bother you. They can
feel however they want
- and so can you. Your thoughts and feelings are a reflection of who you are and no one has a right to judge you.
In fact, more often
than not, when people are spouting angry, judgmental nastiness at others, they are really talking to themselves. Let them rant all they want; you don’t have to take
it on board unless what they say really hits home and stirs something in you that you know you would love to change or improve.
Some people will understand and appreciate your feelings; others will not. Just as you can relate
to certain people and their situations, no doubt there are others that you just can’t
figure out no matter how hard you try. At
the end of the day, all
of us are essentially
the same. All of us feel fear, hurt, anger, and embarrassment as easily as we feel love, joy, and happiness.
When you hold yourself back from others and don’t let them see the truth of who you are, you don’t let yourself see it either. Better to come from a place of having faith and confidence in yourself for being who you’re meant to be, and bravely letting the world see who that is.
By allowing yourself
to be vulnerable and authentic, you will connect with the world in a much more deep and meaningful way.
Liberty
Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution.
eydisauthenticliving.com 71


The Butterfly Moment
What is a “Butterfly Moment?”
There is an incredible “HAPPENING” that occurs when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The caterpillar is encapsulated by a cocoon of its own making. It is imprisoned in a state of total immobility and darkness. Understandably, it must be a time of pain, panic and despair. However, as a certain life force of “allowing” takes over, this creature instinctively “lets go and lets God” an incredible transformation occurs. It is a transformation and struggle that is totally personal. Scientist tell us that if you help a caterpillar by cutting it out of the cocoon it will die because this struggle pushes life giving energy deep into its growing wings. In other words, “no pain...no gain.” As life energies slowly break loose the caterpillar from the cocoon, an incredible moment occurs. This caterpillar has a realization. It is a moment when it finally understands that all of this pain, panic and despair were for a reason.
The caterpillar is not what it thought it was! It is one of the most beautiful insects in the world... that can fly!
Can you think of a more “AHA!” moment that this?


QUANTUM LEAP
coaching
John Schalter and Carrie Hall (married) are professional Life Coaches, who specializes in personal growth, relationship and career coaching.
Their solution-focused coaching techniques offer a highly-personalized program tailored specifically to you. With compassion and understanding, they work with you to help build on your strengths and attain the personal growth you are committed to achieving.
Specialized Areas:
• Personal Growth
• Professional Development • Relationship Coaching
• Communication Skills
• Confidence & Personal Power
• Inner Peace
• Achieving Balance
• Health & Weight Issues
To hear more Butterfly Moments from John and Carrie, listen to Empower Radio, Tuesdays at 9:00 Eastern Time.
To find out more about Quantum Leap Coaching go to butterflylifecoach.com or call 586.997.4357
10% of all proceeds are donated to the St Clair Butterfly Foundation where John sits as the Board President
To find out more about the St Clair Butterfly Foundation visit stclairbutterflyfoundation.org


Talk to Tamara
Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. To ask your questions go to eydismedia.com’s home page
and click on Tamara’s picture, under our “Let’s Talk” section.
by Tamara Green
Dear Tamara
I have a holiday party to attend this month but I’m kind of a shy. The event is hosted
by a charity organization where I volunteer. There’s this guy, another volunteer, that I really like and I think he may even like me. However, so far, it’s only been smiles from afar. I want to be brave and talk to this guy during the gala but I’m kind of scared. What pointers could you give me?
Signed,
Quiet and Pining
74 | Eydis Magazine
Dear Quiet and Pining,
Holiday parties are a wonderful opportunity to flirt, flirt, flirt.
And guess what? Men love
flirty gestures because they feel admired and get the validation they need to approach you. Being daring and assertive releases wonderful ‘happy hormones’ and can have very positive and amazing results. In fact, one client of mine flirted with a man that caught her eye at a fundraiser, and they are now in an exclusive relationship.
Flirting can be powerfully effective, yet it does take guts and confidence. It requires being light-hearted and open to fun and new experiences. You may get nervous because you are stepping out of your routine and comfort zone, but that’s okay. Just take a few deep breaths and do it anyway. Follow any or all of the flirty secrets I’ve listed below. Trust me, your brave efforts


“There is nothing
more irresistible and
sexy than you being
totally you.”
Tamara Green
will be well worth it. Don’t be surprised if he ends up walking up to you to start a conversation.
Quick Tip: When signing up for Eydis Magazine, you received a free download for a meditation called Sexy Irresistible You. That’s a meditation that I created to help women tune into their confident and sexy selves. Make sure you listen to the meditation before your holiday party - or any date for that matter. It will set the stage for sexy and flirty fun with this guy.
Want free relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s free 45-minute guidance session where
you will finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles. Whether you are single or are experiencing relationship upset, by clicking here, you no longer have to figure this out alone anymore. Yay!
Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soul-centered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people
to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love
with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She
has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy.
Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; Facebook facebook. com TGreenLoveExpert; youtube: youtube.com/channel/ UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A
eydisauthenticliving.com 75
Tamara’s Hot Flirty Holiday Secrets
Spice things up and wear red. There are many shades of red, so pick one that’s perfect for your skin tone. Again, men are visual. Studies show that men find women who wear red as very attractive. Also, show a little skin with a scooped or ‘V’ neckline. Wear a dress and show off your legs. Come on! It’s the holidays, so wear something festive and slightly revealing!
At the gala, smile at your guy from across the room, look away then smile at him again. He’ll keep his eyes glued on you, for sure! Keep it up until he makes his way over to you.
Men love the adventure of surprise, so write a comment on a cocktail napkin
and hand it to him as you walk by. Make sure you’re smiling while doing this. Extra brownie points for making the gutsy move of winking, as well. What you write could be as simple as, “Nice tie you’re wearing!”
This one definitely takes guts, but it’s very effective. Let your admiration show by using your eyes to take-in every inch of your guy. Start by focusing on his shoes, then pants, moving your eyes up to his shirt (jacket or tie) and finally to his face. Do this slowly and deliberately until your eyes lock with his, at which point you smile, nod your head in approval, and give him a ‘thumbs up.’ Let him know that you like what you see. Then, count the seconds it takes for him to walk over to say “hi”.
Can’t go quite that bold? Then try this one. Wherever you’re sitting, cross your legs and make sure the foot of your top leg is pointed in the direction of your guy. Jiggle or bob your foot up and down while looking in his direction. Let him know that you are “pointing” at him.
Now that you’ve mesmerized him and pulled him into a conversation, smile and say his name often.


by Gary Stuart
2016 has raced by and now it’s the Holiday season yet again! Thank god the endless Election season is over and we can get back to celebration and warmth with our loved ones.
This season is about LIGHT and HOPE and CARE! Let’s make
the best of it especially for the children who get overexcited and hungry for their Christmas and Hanukah dreams to come true.
It can also be a season of GIVING and RECEIVING the PRESENCE of family members and relatives in our lives. Everyone is so
busy that we often forget how connected we are. Many have
76 | Eydis Magazine


Remembering what the Holiday season is really all about,
INCLUSION, ACCEPTANCE, CONNECTION, AND PRESENCE
sadness as they have lost their mothers’ or fathers’ along the way plus many others who didn’t make to the holiday season to celebrate CONNECTION.
Everyone needs to celebrate the
CONNECTION more than the GIFTS as the Gift of Connection and being present together is what matters most. Ironically it’s often those not present this year who cast a pall or shadow on the family festivities. This Poem
from Gems of Inspiration will help you put what’s necessary, in perspective.
Open your heart this season of light. Take stock of what’s really important and let the rest go
eydisauthenticliving.com 77


“REMEMBRANCE” The True Holiday Blessing
As you celebrate this festive holiday season, Give a special blessing to any missing person Or those not with you for any old reason.
Raise a glass to the missing ones,
be they long lost daughters or war-killed sons or your deceased parents or anyone shunned. Set a place at your table for them to take part to let them know they still reside in your heart, which is always the very best place to start.
Include those missing, dearly departed and gone; Remember they have a place and always belong.
In the BIG scheme of things, they did nothing wrong. It’s now up to you to complete their unfinished song.
So now raise your glass and fill it with cheer,
And think of the missing ones as though they were here. Hold onto their memory tightly, as you know they are near. Whisper their name lightly as if they could hear.
That their memory lives on now deep within your soul, To know this and feel this should be the true goal. Happy Holidays to all and may you live to be old,
Then Yule be the missing one. So let it be told
That your loving remembrance is worth more than gold.
connection start with us then the world will follow.
Namaste, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and New Year to as 2017 looms.
Gary Stuart, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Teacher, Lecturer, has been documenting his healing experiences over the past several
decades. As a young student of Primal Therapy and Shamanism, his insightful writings provide a unique perspective on
the correlation between the micro and macro-cosmos, between our inner and outer worlds. His first book on constellations, Many Hearts, ONE SOUL, set the stage for his latest book, Master YOUR Universe:
How to Direct & Star in Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at Amazon.com. He leads workshops and trainings nationally and internationally and resides in Los Angeles.
Visit www.HealingInActionNow.com or www.ConstellationHealingInstitute.com
as old grudges serve no one including yourself. If Ebenezer Scrooge can learn the lesson then so can you. The things of real value lie in wait within your heart. Bitterness and regret will only get in the way of joy or sadness from days gone by. Let the past stay where it belongs behind you. It is what it was and dredging it up will only cause more pain and sorrow. Being “RIGHT” can be an empty reward if it stops everyone cold.
In the end, everything is a gift. Enjoy it savor it and pass it on. What we do from our hearts lightens up our soul. In a perfect world, we would shine like this 24/7/365. The best time to start is NOW and then watch it grow and change your perspective in new ways. If the Birth of a savior can change the world, then certainly a baby step at any age can do the same.
Peace, love, presence and
78 | Eydis Magazine


Give Breath
To the memory of those whose bodies have disappeared from the earth. Speak of them kindly, as they may be near enough to listen.
Give Heart
To all the thoughts and feelings that sometimes refuse to leave even when their emotional charge is gone. Love them as you do life.
Give Ears
To the weight of all words spoken and unspoken whether they be dreams expressed or promises broken. Listen intently....
Give Hope
To the dead, as they live on in our hearts with the memories we gather before we depart. To honor the dead -- this is the start.
Give Love
To any and all as much as you can, as life is too short for the human lifespan. There is nothing better to say than I love you and hope you’re OK
Give Honor
To those who raised you when you were so small, for it is these parents who started it all. Remember to honor them when you’ve grown tall.
Give Respect
To your elders -- never let it refrain, as the baggage, you will inherit will cause you great pain -- because, after all, we’re really the same.
Give Peace
To those who’ve passed, and please let them go. They’ve moved up a notch to go with the divine flow. You’ll be with them again, sooner than you know.
Give everything you can; there is nothing you will lose You have everything to gain from what you hear or say or do.
GIVE!
Peace Is
Peace is having the intelligence to stop and think before you act Peace is taking time to stop to examine all the facts Peace is using diplomacy and finding cultural tact
Peace is not attacking what you fail to understand, but attempting to understand what you can barely comprehend Peace is not acquired by war; this is not what peace is for Peace is not about death and destruction
Peace is about law and not about obstruction
Peace evolves with education and balanced instruction You don’t have to be Einstein to make these deductions
So stop, think and understand before you act
This promotes PEACE and that is a fact
Always remember
World Peace starts in the heart
Together as ONE we are never apart
This is the best place for world peace to start
eydisauthenticliving.com 79


The art of writing is the art of
discovering what you believe.
–Gustave Haubert
80 | Eydis Magazine


Write For Eydis Authentic Living Magazine
eydisauthenticliving.com/be-heard
eydisauthenticliving.com 81


Spiritual
SIMPLY




THE DREAM EXPERTS
What Does Your Dream Mean?
by Kathryn and Patrick Andries
Dear Dream Expert,
I’m on a plane excited to go wherever I’m going. We lift off and go really high then fall. I feel the drop and I suddenly wake up. I’ve had this dream 3 times in a row.
Sincerely,
Up, Up and Away
Dear Up, Up and Away
You are excited about the direction you are heading in life, or the group you are connected with is going in a direction you are excited about following. There is a
lot of excitement, but not a lot of follow through with your goals and ideas. Look closely at the work that needs to be done to fulfill your goal or objective.
Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: [email protected]. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com.
84 | Eydis Magazine


Dear Dream Expert,
Dear Traveler,
I was traveling and had gotten into a vehicle with some other people. It was open and we were standing up. This dream was strange since the environment did not seem real--it looked more like a picture or cartoon, but very modern in style. I felt like an observer until the end of the dream. We began
riding and I was concerned that we were going in the wrong direction, but someone said it was ok. I could see the top of what looked like the Empire State building in the background and knew we were supposed
to be traveling away from it. Then we came to a canal. It was cement with water that
did not look deep. People were racing in it.
I got in with some other people and started to swim. Seems like we had gone a long distance and I was getting concerned. We turned to go back. At some point, some people left the water and walked toward a building. It looked like we were in the desert and there was sand. They said they were going to a talent contest. I said I was not going because I didn’t have talent. Some
of the people decided to walk rather than swim. I thought swimming would be faster so I continued. We were still in this cement canal that was not very wide or deep. When we got to the end I was on the floor in some kind of building. I was looking at mail and tearing up and didn’t want anyone to be able to get my name and address. I tore
out one section that had some notes of mine written in pencil. I looked at people leaving and a lady checked the card of a lady leaving. It was the plastic type credit card you get at casinos. I checked to see
if I had one and there was one in my shirt pocket. I got up to go out and showed it to the lady and she said it was okay, there was no balance owed to me.
Sincerely, The Traveler
You are heading in a particular direction in life that is different and unique than the way you normally head toward a destination or goal. You are now able to be more objective and
be the observer of your actions. However, you recognize that you are heading in the wrong direction. You then decide to get more involved in your life experiences (swimming) and be more of a participant in life rather than an observer. You are concerned about getting to your destination quickly, rather than enjoying the experience of life. There is a part of you that does not feel you have much to offer, yet other parts of yourself recognize you do have talents.
There is some inner communication you are receiving, and you have a concern about others seeing your true identity. You are identifying with yourself in a particular way that does not see much value in yourself.
I suggest you look at the goals and direction you are heading in life and see where you need to make a course correction. It is time to enjoy the journey and not be so concerned with the end result. You also have a theme of not valuing yourself and recognizing your talents that need to be changed in order for you to see your full potential.
eydisauthenticliving.com 85


by Elaine M. Grohman
Our language can be complicated. The same word can be used to mean many different things and the word “space” is one such word. We attempt to understand “space”
as we stand under a night sky contemplating the enormity and mystery of the far distance stars. Space can be perceived as a nearly unfathomable distance away.
86 | Eydis Magazine


Space
THE INVITATION
One can experience an entirely different perspective of “space” when cradling a sleeping child in your arms. This “space” is
a closeness that allows for the experience of awe and wonder
of future possibilities in shared the need for distance, time fleeting moments. alone or seclusion. Space is
often perceived as a distance, Many times people say they whether near or far.
“need space,” often as a
request or declaration of We all need space for rest, for
OF
eydisauthenticliving.com 87


contemplation, for renewal and for clarity. We have erected partitions in our minds, in our offices and in our lives that appear to separate us from one another, whether through the illusion of a flimsy cubicle wall or the walls of space we place between us in our minds.
I would like to share with
you a different concept of “Space,” one in which there is an invitation of inclusion rather than a barrier of separation.
We all need Space. This Space has the potential to open
the doors of possibilities and concepts that we have yet been privy to, and this Space is all around us. There is no distance greater than our self-limiting perspectives, our cultural thinking, and our sometimes misguided, fiercely protected ideas of ourselves. What if we were to become aware of the Space that has always been present, silently awaiting our ability to accept Its’ invitation.
The Space I am speaking of is present in the most densely populated cities, in remote areas of the globe, in every conversation spoken, every email written and every gathering both large and small. It is in our thinking, in our words, and in our actions. It is everywhere, yet it often remains unknown – until we enter into
a shift in perspective. When a shift of perspective occurs you will never see the world or one another quite the same way again. This Space opens us to new concepts, ideas, insights,
and solutions with Its’ joyful invitation to create anew, to use the fuel of the Love that we are to take benevolent Action for all.
Creation is creating constantly, finding solutions, redirecting forces, and literally moving mountains in tiny increments that are nearly imperceptible.
Space can do that too, moving us closer to one another if we are willing to remove our straight jackets of limiting thoughts and free our Minds and Hearts to create collaboratively for the common good.
The other evening I
entered my home with my
Mind full of the things I felt
I needed to accomplish. I
stood at the kitchen sink preparing a meal for some friends and myself. And
then the invitation came. A sound caught my attention
and my heart leaped with a knowing of who was calling
to me. I stopped to listen
and I found myself entering
a new Space. I heard the
call again and stepped
outside into the crisp night
air and listened. “Whoo-
whoo,” echoed through
me in the silence of the evening as I followed Its call. I was entering a Space of inclusion,
of shifted awareness and the language was known to me. I was invited into a greater Space than my thoughts, as I stood on the patio and listened to the Great Owl’s call. “Come outside,
little one,” was the song my Heart heard. “Know that you are not alone, We share this World with you, and we know Her secrets. Join us in experiencing Space that is inclusive and whole.” I entered the Space of a Being as important as myself, a silent watcher of Humanity.
88 | Eydis Magazine


After a time I went back inside, and cleaning the spinach for the salad, I knew I was not wise enough to create the Space
for this plant to grow so that I could be nourished by It and continue Living.
We must all learn to enter into
a different Space, to broaden our Perspectives and our Lives. What we need is already before us.
Hold it in your hands and your Heart will enter the Space of Unity and know that we are truly all in this together.
Elaine Grohman is
a speaker, author, energy healer and angel reader. She has a private practice in Farmington, MI.
For appointments
please contact Lainie Rubio at 248.320.6532 or visit her website at
www.elainegrohman.com
eydisauthenticliving.com 89


ASK THE LIFE COACHES
Understanding the Perfect Storm
by John Schalter and Carrie Hall Schalter
“If you are a ship captain long enough, you are going to experience a “perfect storm.”
This is the third and last chapter of John’s reactions to his recent Dance with Cancer. He has finished treatment and all signs are positive!
For those of you who have never seen the movie or googled this phrase on the internet, a “perfect storm” is defined as “a particularly bad or critical state of affairs, arising from a number of negative and unpredictable factors.” It usually refers to a boat at sea that gets hit by the wind, rain and sea, all in their most dangerous and lethal moments.
Notice the definition doesn’t talk about such things as effort, attitude, talent or discipline. Perfect storms hit you when you least expect. They are almost always a “blindside attack” due to “negative and unpredictable factors.”
Very painful, and yet welcome to Life!
This Fall season has been a real challenge for John. He has been trying to understand his diagnosis of cancer. You see, John’s a guy who always tried to eat right, exercise regularly and
JJ Schalter
tried to “do all the right things” to have a healthy and productive life. Cancer was certainly not on his bucket list.
However, he is also 65 years old. He has been in this game of life for a long time. Like it or not, he hit a perfect storm. If you are a ship captain long enough, you are going to experience a “perfect storm.”
Here’s the wonderful takeaway. Just knowing and acknowledging this makes him feel better. It even empowers him! He can stop beating myself up
for what he did or didn’t do in terms of healthy lifestyle. He now knows who the bad guy is. He also now knows he NEVER NEVER ... wants to experience cancer again, and he will do “whatever it takes” to make that intention a reality.
10 TAKEAWAYS FROM A PERFECT STORM
1Honor your unexpected plight for what it is...a perfect storm...a season you “don’t want!” ever again. Feel it! It will keep your toes in bounds and your eyes pointed to the goal line.
90 | Eydis Magazine


2Acknowledge and write down all the good 10Love. In the game of life, nothing is more
things this season has taught you. All adversity leaves hidden lessons that are pure magic. Soak these up like a sponge.
3Focus on how this season has made you stronger, more mature and resourceful. The experience of a win is easy ... bouncing back from losing is hard.
4Understand the need for adversity and pain. Steel is hardened by fire, not rain (rain makes rust). Muscle doesn’t build until it is ripped apart and then heals. Adversity is a wonderful element of every life.
5Realize that you don’t survive a perfect storm by jumping ship. Grab your ship mate’s hands, open hearts, grit your teeth and weather the storm. The perfect storm is showing you who you really are!
6Embrace the universal truth that “this too shall pass.” Even perfect storms don’t last forever. My cancer treatment is over. PRAISE GOD! Now I need to heal.
7Don’t over analyze. It is what it is ... a “perfect storm.” Get off the mat and the analyst’s couch. Get back on the path to greatness.
8Acknowledge your “three-foot world.” When rock climbing Navy Seals get stuck 100 feet up, they don’t look up or down. They look to the next three-foot hand hold. You “eat an elephant” in bite size pieces.
9Believe that you can return to greatness. Like Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right.” You did it once and you candoitagain. Practicefeelingthisfeeling24/7.
powerful. Love your life partners and love your support group, they are in the foxhole with you. Tap into this power. It will make you strong and in every circumstance. Storms are when heroes shine!
Do these things in life, and you will never lose! (no matter what the life scoreboard says ... and yes even against cancer). Perfect storms will create perfect strength and wisdom. I guarantee it!
In the meantime, always remember that “it all good” and “we are all too blessed to be stressed.”
Peace and Prosperity, John and Carrie
John and Carrie * are Life Coaches and available to help you with almost any life challenge. You can listen to their radio who called “The Butterfly Moment” on the Empower Radio Show to listen to their shows every Tuesday morning for archived on this website (empowerradio.com) If you would like to discuss private sessions call them at 248-568- 7021. The first session is always free and their gift to you. You can email questions to [email protected], or go to Butterflylifecoach.com.
eydisauthenticliving.com 91


PEACE WITHOUT APOLOGY
by Kate Sholonski
Iperiodically notice some people exhibiting signs of annoyance with me, and in some cases, even agitation, when I choose not to join the bandwagon of complainers, worries and attackers of a perceived enemy in reaction to local and world events.
It seems, my positive attitude and approach can be disturbing to others that choose a different path.
Although I notice the reaction of some of my friends, I will not apologize for being at peace.
Thankfully, how we each deal with the issues of life is a personal choice. My preference is to stay aligned with joy and sustain peace “within” regardless of what may be showing up in the “outside” world.
When I have been hooked by
anger and then acted out with righteous indignation (even
in cases when it appeared I
was victimized) my negative emotions never improved the situation in question. What is especially true is that acting out in anger has never . . . repeat .
. . NEVER made me feel better. I understand some of my fellow humans are convinced that
their anger spurs them on to correct a wrong . . . to set things
92 | Eydis Magazine


right, and that vindication and revenge feels good. Perhaps that is true for them. I just don’t choose to roll like that.
What I find to be a particularly interesting comparison is that
I may even choose to take the same steps that those on the fist pumping side of the line may take when an injustice occurs. I make phone calls, write emails and sign petitions to inform
my elected officials of what I believe, although what I say in a letter may differ from others.
I don’t sugar coat situations, but I avoid attacks. I write letters
to the editor in support of that which I want to see more of, rather than complain about what should stop. I donate money to causes that support peace rather than destruction.
I read articles that support peaceful solutions that are in alignment with my beliefs, rather than feed myself with more news and reports that stimulate hateful actions.
Although many of us may take the same stand and in some cases even actions, how we feel in the process of creating change can vary greatly.
Although I understand when people get hooked by an issue many are looking for others to join in the fight believing there is power in numbers, I am very careful with whom I will stand.
Watching how the political parties work in our country are perfect examples of how fear is used to create a movement against the enemy (enemies vary depending on the issue). The bottom line is I resist jumping on a wagon that is destined for perpetrating a movement fueled by fear.
What I have trained myself
to do instead, is to keep my intention on creating a positive outcome. Rather than keeping my focus on battling a wrong, I simply keep my vision on what
I want to see created instead.
I have heard the story that Mother Teresa was once asked to march in an anti-war rally. She reportedly informed the activist inviting her to march that she would not rally against war, but she would be happy to rally for peace.
So which perspective is most productive in the end? The good news is we each get to decide. I will continue to choose a peaceful response since I know my creativity in problem- solving, my effectiveness to create positive change and my ability to encourage others to show up at their best occurs when I stand in the light, not the dark.
Kate transitioned from a 28 year nursing career
to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner
repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles.
It was that concept that led them
to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures.
Kate and her business partner, David Larson have co-authored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection.
They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level.
eydisauthenticliving.com 93


by Janette Stuart
Last year about this time, I was pondering a list
of potential words I’d like to focus on for the upcoming year. This word would become my guiding or focus word
for the year. I will use both guidings and focus words interchangeably in this article.
Use whatever term you like best. Having a guiding word helps call forth more of it into your life. What did I want to call forth more of into my life? Did I want more fun, peace or joy? I had retired earlier that year after working full time for 36 years and the idea of
more fun, peace or joy felt so delicious to me. I had begun doing my souls work as Angel Angles (www.angel-angles.com) upon my retirement and the mission is to spread more love, joy, and peace into the world.
It was wonderful to ponder the possibility of selecting a
94 | Eydis Magazine
THE BENEFITS OF HAVING A
Guiding
Word
FOR THE YEAR


word to guide my choices, my thoughts and my intentions for the year.
A dear friend and I had batted around several different possibilities as
our guiding words for 2016. She considered “shine” or “devotion” as her guiding words and as I mentioned above,
I pondered “fun”,
“peace” or “joy.” My
friend had selected the
word wonder for her
focus word in 2015. She
found that word didn’t
resonate as much as
she intended it to and
looked at other options
for the following year that delighted her more. It is fine to change your mind and select another focus word during the year. My friend also thought perhaps in the upcoming year she might select a guiding word for the quarter. I love that idea also. Do what feels best for you. The magic is still the same.
In the end, she selected the word devotion and I selected the word joy for our guiding words of 2016. We have both delighted in our selections. I see joy everywhere I go, everywhere I look. I am so grateful.
Why have a focus word?
Having a focus or guiding word for the year sets the intention, the expectation and awareness
to call forth more of that item into your life using
the principles of The Law of Attraction. According
to Wikipedia, “The law of attraction is the name given to the maxim “like
attracts like” which in New Thought philosophy
is used, to sum up, the idea that by focusing
on positive or negative thoughts a person brings
positive or negative experiences into their
life. This belief is based on the idea that people
eydisauthenticliving.com 95


and their thoughts are both made from “pure energy”, and the belief that like energy attracts like energy.”
I also let my guiding word assist me when making a decision.
I ask myself, “If I make this choice, will it bring me more _____ ?” Fill in your own focus word here dear one. If the answer is yes, this choice will bring more of your focus word into your life. You will be in alignment with your intention, your guiding word. By all means, say yes. If the choice would not bring you more of what you desire, you may want to decline the invitation, rethink or reframe your response so that you and your choice are more in alignment with your guiding word. The answer may be no or not now in this case.
I have also had words of the month both personally for the past several years and for Angel Angles the past year and a half. Here is a list of the word of
the months that Angel Angles has focused on during 2015 and 2016: Wellness, Love, Joy, Favor, Explore, Grace, Beauty, Surrender, Expand, Peace, Gratitude, and Wonder.
Feel free to borrow any of the words listed here if you love any of them and want to call forth more of that item into your life during 2017. Here are a couple of words that I am considering for focus words for 2017. They are “delight” and “gratitude.”
I believe I will always have love, joy, and peace as an overarching guidepost for every day of my life.
The way I selected the words chosen was to go into quiet contemplation and ask my angels and guides for Divine assistance. I listened to the inner whispers and was open and receptive to the guidance flowing forth. You can also make your own
list by praying and going within, listening to your own wisdom and see what you’d delight with more of in your life.
Sending you
blessings of
love, joy, and peace as you embark upon 2017 with joyous expectation. Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, Happy YOU. I’d love to hear from you about choosing your guiding word and the selection process. Feel free to reach out to Janette@ angel-angles.com via email.
I’m Janette Stuart, Founder of Angel Angles which is my labor of love. I have wanted to express my soul’s work
in a more visible way and am now devoting more time
to Angel Angles since my retirement in 2015. Angel Angles exists to spread more love, joy and peace into the world.
I have always loved to write, I write every day. I write longhand in several different journals as well as type electronically. I have always loved handwriting, the sending of cards and notes, the keeping of a journal or diary.
My first book, “On a Path of Joy” will be available in September. I am thrilled. My
hope is that the book will help the reader develop or enhance their relationship with their Creator.
I am a grateful member of and core blogger for The Wellness Universe. The Wellness Universe is an evolutionary community of members who are positively impacting the world in one or more of the 7 areas of wellness.
As a lifelong empath, I have experienced people’s feelings deeply. I have a deep compassion for my fellow man and love deeply. I choose to live a joy filled life each day and hope to help others do the same. Joy is my focus word for 2016.
I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband of 33 years, Mark, and our rescue boxer dog, Spike. We have a grown son, Max, who is happily serving in the Coast Guard. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor as well as an angelic practitioner.
Besides writing, I am a lifelong learner, who reads daily, I also enjoy walking in nature, sky watching, cooking, RVing along the California Coast and visiting with friends and family. Some of my most requested recipes are Asian Chicken Salad and Sticky Toffee Pudding.
96 | Eydis Magazine


Lynn Darmon
PSYCHIC MEDIUM REIKI PRACTITIONER
Lynn is a Psychic Medium born with clairvoyant, clairaudient and precognitive abilities. She first became aware of this gift at age five. As she grew older her abilities developed, receiving messages from the Other Side, first from family members who’d passed and then messages from loved ones of people around her. Lynn describes this gift of guidance from Spirit as “Second Sight.”
During a reading, Lynn will take you on a journey from your past where she will peek into your childhood, to the present and offer you channeled guidance from Spirit as you continue on your Spiritual Path into your future.
Serving as a conduit between the Spirit World and this world, Lynn conveys messages from those who have passed with the intention of providing validation, healing and further guidance to their loved ones here.
Lynn has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo News, The Oakland Press, The Detroit Jewish News, Eydis Magazine, MY Magazine, Body, Mind, Spirit Radio, the Lisa Bousson Show, and has been featured in the recently published book, “Everyday Oracles,” by Ann Bolinger-McQuade.
31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 www.heavenswhisper.net • [email protected] Facebook: Medium Lynn Darmon
SERVICES PROVIDED:
In person • By phone • E-mail • Skype • In home


Wealth Consciousness
Manifest your destiny




THE RIGHT-BRAIN ROAD TO RICHES
THE MISSING
PIECE TO
FINANCIAL SUCCESS
by Ellen Rogin, CPA, CFP®
100 | Eydis Magazine