TheTimesMagazine29January2022

29.01.22 / Angela Hartnett: 10 fast pastas

EAT! / Operation Red Meat!
SPECIAL / The Low Carb Guide

Magazine of the Year

MaroSuper

The England rugby star
who wows on and
off the pitch

COCAINE
IN THE KITCHEN:

THE REAL
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CHEF
THE ULTIMATE
LITTLE BLACK BOOK

The experts’ secrets
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33 ANGELA HARTNETT 29.01.22 43 INDIAN BASICS

EAT! SPECIAL

40 LOW-CARB

50 OPERATION RED MEAT

54 NADIYA HUSSAIN

5 Caitlin Moran Vogue’s fashion advice is not for me. 7 What I’ve learnt Bridgerton’s Adjoa Andoh. 9 Spinal column: Melanie Reid Why
I don’t like eating out. 10 Cover story Maro Itoje The England rugby star on race, statues and politics. 18 Queen of the deep The record-
breaking freediver. 24 The poster boy for Muslim dating When Muhammad Malik posed on billboards looking for a wife, he had
thousands of responses. 30 The future of AI Can we control superintelligent machines? 33 Eat! special 24 pages of the best recipes.
62 Kitchen confidential The chef who cooked on cocaine. 66 The Brit dressing America Why Emma Grede is big in Bel Air. 71 Little Black
Book: Times experts reveal their secrets. 80 Giles Coren reviews Burnt Orange, Brighton. 86 Beta male: Robert Crampton I want a valet.

ON THE COVER: PORTRAIT BY ROBERT WILSON. STYLING BY PRUE WHITE. COAT, ACNESTUDIOS.COM; TROUSERS, DIOR.COM

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EDITOR NICOLA JEAL DEPUTY EDITOR LOUISE FRANCE ART DIRECTOR CHRIS HITCHCOCK ASSOCIATE EDITOR JANE MULKERRINS ASSISTANT EDITOR TONY TURNBULL FEATURES EDITOR MONIQUE RIVALLAND CHIEF SUB-EDITOR AMANDA LINFOOT
DEPUTY ART DIRECTOR JO PLENT DEPUTY CHIEF SUB-EDITOR CHRIS RILEY PICTURE EDITOR ANNA BASSETT DEPUTY PICTURE EDITOR LUCY DALEY CONTRIBUTING EDITOR BRIDGET HARRISON EDITORIAL ASSISTANT GEORGINA ROBERTS

The Times Magazine 3



CAITLIN MORAN

Why Vogue’s fashion tips are all wrong

My style icons are little girls and old ladies

A h, my friends, it’s that When does anyone same and with the same guiding principles:
time of the year. Vogue wear an all-white comfy, colourful, slightly berserk, easy to go
has released its “10 Trends outfit, unless they’re to the toilet in. It is, as the young people say,
for spring/summer 2022” a dentist or a ghost? “a mood”. A great one.
– something I presume it
ROBERT WILSON presumes will cause us to As I said, I was pretty envious. That
all run to our wardrobes night I was going to a “posh” party and really
and simply set fire to wished I could go in some leggings covered in
anything missing from dinosaurs. But this time, I actually noticed how
the list, but which in reality will be something I comfort myself when temporarily jealous of
we read “for a laugh” while wearing the same infant school style: “Don’t worry,” a quiet voice
pair of jeans and “nice” top we were wearing in my head said. “Only another 20 years to go.”
in, come to think of it, 2017. God, this fabric
has washed well. Big yourself up, poly-cotton When I interrogated this voice, it regarded
mix from Zara! me with surprise for a couple of minutes and
then said, in a very matter-of-fact way, “Well,
What’s “on the menu”? Inevitably, it’s all you can go back to wearing whatever you want
the things we’ve had before at some point or once you’re over 65.”
another. Miniskirts; stripes; all-white outfits;
see-through blouses/dresses; bootcut jeans… And in a sunburst, kaleidoscopic moment
I mean, I started to zone out around “stripes”, of revelation, I realised that young girls
astonished by the sheer chutzpah of claiming and old women have exactly the same style
they’ve “returned”. When are we not wearing aesthetic: they just don’t give a f***. Obviously
stripy things? Fifty per cent of what middle- some older women prefer to be “chic” or
aged women wear is “a stripy top”. You might “athletic” or “sexy”. But for me, the classic
as well say, “Having a pancreas is BACK older woman – the one I plan to be – is
BACK BACK!” It’s a simple medical fact walking around in a purple dress, leggings and
that we are all born with a) a pancreas, and thermally insulated boots, topped with a large,
b) a couple of stripy tops. That’s just nature. ratty leopard-skin hat that looks as if it might
have a robin’s nest in it. She may or may not
And as for the rest – when does anyone be pushing an elderly dog in a pram.
wear an all-white outfit, unless they’re a dentist
or a ghost? And see-through blouses? Hahaha, That well-established Grey Gardens/
don’t be silly. Tits live “under cardigans,” not eccentric old lady/Mad Cat Woman vibe is
“in some mad string bag from Gucci”. generally regarded to be one of the lowest-
status looks a woman can assume. It tends to
My problem with fashion is that a couple of provoke either pity, mild disgust or an instant
years ago I had the kind of perceptual epiphany makeover on Ten Years Younger.
that is usually the province of a shaman going
on a vision quest in the guise of eg a leopard, For me, however, it’s actually the highest
but which I had while eating a banana and status look – it’s someone who is absolutely
walking through our local playground. done with trying to look “put together”,
fashionable or sexy. It’s someone done with
I was, as always, jealously noting the caring what anyone else thinks and who has
amazing outfits being worn by girls under the returned, in their old age, to the freedom they
age of seven – outfits which they had clearly had when they were four, five or six. Other
chosen themselves. There’s a certain aesthetic people’s voices – fashion editors, other girls, boys
girls of that age have: they won’t tolerate – haven’t got in their head yet. Or – 60 years
anything “itchy” or “too tight”, that “gets in after they made a 7-year-old girl suddenly
the way” or is “boring” or “sad”. They’re all in want to get a crop-top from Brandy Melville
dresses, worn over leggings, accompanied by “because that’s what all the other girls are
wellington boots – all comfy, brightly coloured wearing” – they have finally been exorcised.
things, easy to put on. It’s a kind of timeless,
eternal Pippi Longstocking x Peppa Pig You’ll note Vogue’s “fashion forecasts” never
mash-up, and exactly what I wore at their age include looks for little girls or older women,
40 years previously. There are other iterations because they know there’s no point. Those
of course: flowery tights under yellow shorts females are dressing straight from the soul,
with fairy wings; sunhats; HUGE sunglasses; and from joy. You can’t bamboozle them into
ra-ra-skirts; Crocs. But the effect is always the dressing like a dentist. It’s just all of us in
between who aren’t as smart, or free, as little
girls and old women. n

The Times Magazine 5



What I’ve learnt Adjoa Andoh

Bristol-born actress Adjoa Andoh, ‘I go around
59, has performed with the Royal incognito – I dress
Shakespeare Company, in films
including Adulthood, and plays Lady like a bloke and
Danbury in Netflix’s Bridgerton. She have short hair’
is married to lecturer Howard Cunnell,
with whom she has three children,
and in 2014, delivered a TedX Talk
about raising a transgender child.
She lives in London.

I go around incognito – I dress like INTERVIEW Susan Gray PORTRAIT Liam Daniel
a bloke and have short hair, so I’m
NETFLIX rarely recognised. But two girls nervous breakdown in sixth form, hit with my uncle’s size 15 plimsoll. network of early Eighties
spotted me in John Lewis, saying, and instead of getting the grades I only ever got 6/10 in RE black women’s conferences.
“It’s the eyebrows! The eyebrows!” to go to Cambridge I got three Es because she did not want to I’m a hippie from the Cotswolds.
I admire my 21-year-old self. at A-level. The wheels came off. show favouritism. I get my energy from drugs:
I loved her spontaneity, and her After A-levels I felt like I was I share this shot of extra paranoia vitamin C, black garlic, neem,
skill at watching what others done with education. I worked all the self-employed have about lecithin. Every morning I rattle,
were doing, knowing what to at Lloyds in Wotton-under-Edge. work. Essentially, if you’re not taking supplements religiously.
steal and what to copy. Banking wasn’t for me: I was busy then you’re not going to eat. I don’t know if they do any good
I decided my husband was clockwatching by 9.30am, and There is a sense that if you stand or are a placebo.
worth a look, even though he had my station rarely balanced, so my still you sink, a sense of being I have been a Leeds United
exacting standards. We met at colleagues had to stay late while driven forward. supporter since I was four. I love
the Battersea Arts Centre. He ran they uncovered that day’s mistake. Jackie Kay and I were girlfriends sport, will watch any sport, so it’s
the bookshop and I was part of My mother was head of religious for a while and friends for life. a sadness to be rubbish at it. n
a theatre company. A colleague education and a games mistress. I met Jackie [the former Scottish
had gone for a part-time job there At school my one corporal poet laureate] and Bernardine Adjoa Andoh narrates the introduction for
and said, “Honestly, you’d think punishment was from her, for Evaristo when we were in our classical album Continuum. Bridgerton
I was going for a job at the British chewing during games. I was early twenties, through the returns to Netflix on March 25
Library, the questions he asked.”
As the first in my group to have a
baby, at 22, I knew someone would
look after my daughter, Jesse, while
I was working. I was pregnant on
my first professional job, so got
fatter as the tour went on.
I feel I’ve spoken enough about
my trans son, Liam. He’s now 25
and trying to make his life in the
world, after the restrictions of the
pandemic. When my three kids,
Jesse, Daisy and Liam, and my
grandson have a good day, and
my parents and stepmother are
well, I’m happy.
I only discovered I was dyspraxic
when my eldest daughter was
diagnosed at nursery. Directing
neurodiverse drama students
I tell them to see these
conditions as giving us extra
juice. They make us more
empathetic. They’re not a minus.
Living in a London squat, I learnt
to lay bricks and pour concrete
floors. If you wanted a window in
place for bedtime, you needed to
learn how to glaze during the day.
Going to secondary school a year
early was too much. I had a

The Times Magazine 7



SPINAL COLUMN
MELANIE REID

‘I’m reliant
on diet pills
– otherwise
eating a meal
is torture’

MURDO MACLEOD A nyone who’s gone for action, I have an overwhelming sense my head reclined like Jacob Rees-Mogg, ordering my
lunch with me recently is too heavy for me to hold up and I’m going to companions to ignore me and carry on. “I’m
might have noticed die unless I can rest it on something. Visions listening, even though I can’t open my eyes.”
something slightly odd. of cool, fresh pillows taunt me and my arms
While they’ve been start to thresh around in distress. Feebly Hypotension is a side effect of paralysis. My
studying the menu and I start trying to undress to cool down, like autonomic nervous system controlling the flow
pondering soup-and-cake a hypothermic climber lost on a mountain. of blood round my body has been knocked out.
versus mains-and-coffee, When I eat, especially hard or dry food, the
they might have clocked In the distance I may even hear something blood rushes from my brain to my stomach.
me furtively popping a pill. And looking moaning like a distressed walrus. I realise The problem’s got much worse as I’ve got
faintly anxious. it’s me: crying out because I am becoming older. It’s life-limiting and I face a miserable
disinhibited and want the misery to end. There’s choice: live on a saucer of porridge five times
Eating has become really problematic. a black lid coming down on my forehead. My a day like a sick dog, or delay eating anything
For quite a while now, my hors d’oeuvre by brain is leaving me. I don’t hear celestial music until evening, when an ephedrine pill raises
necessity is a tiny, bitter 10mg of ephedrine, an but honestly it does feel a bit like I’m about to my blood pressure and Dave puts my legs up.
amphetamine-type drug, because without it… snuff it, and it’s jolly disagreeable.
Well, you really wouldn’t enjoy sitting opposite So many ironies abound here. Like millions
me in a public place and having to deal with At this point, if I’m on my own, I have to of people, I spent my life in low-level conflict
the consequences. marshal what little agency I have left and with food. I wasn’t by any means the worst
try either to get outdoors to cold air, or to put addicted or the most blighted, just one of the
Here’s what happens if I eat a plate of food my head down. One time an attack came on tribe who are permanently a bit dissatisfied
without taking any. For 15 minutes, perhaps 30, so badly in the kitchen the Aga became my with their bodies and fed up with themselves
sometimes longer, I’m fine. A phoney calm. pillow, because the risk of burning myself was for being unable to resist eating too much.
Then everything gradually goes pear-shaped. a better prospect than the side effects of lack
of oxygen to the brain. And now here I am, endgame, reliant on
Like some tedious stage routine endured what was one of the original abused diet drugs,
hundreds of times, I know it off by heart. First Other times I’ve made it outside to the simply because I haven’t the self-control (or
of all, ever so subtly, my peripheral vision garden table and planted my face on the wet time) to eat regular tiny portions. Besides,
starts to swim. Then my feet become very hot. wood. People who’ve witnessed it say I go very it’s darkly funny: ephedrine is performance-
Then my upper body. The skin all over my white and haggard, and those who are practised enhancing – ha! – in sport and is a favourite
body starts to crawl. My ears begin humming at it will scoop up my legs onto a chair and “fat-stripper” for freaky body builders. And for
and I can’t concentrate on what anyone’s rest my wheelchair back on its anti-tippers. me it just means I can eat in public without
saying. The only way I am able to keep In restaurants this amounts to a small scene. people thinking I’m dying. n
functioning is by cupping both hands around
the side of my eyes, like blinkers on a After ten minutes in that position with @Mel_ReidTimes
racehorse, forcing me to focus forwards. my eyes tightly shut, I’ll either fall asleep or Melanie Reid is tetraplegic after breaking her
slowly start to feel human again. I’ve been neck and back in a riding accident in April 2010
It’s at this point, if I take no preventative in restaurants where I’ve stayed at the table,

The Times Magazine 9

‘I WOULD
NEVER DUCK
A TACKLE
TO PROTECT
MY FACE’

Next week he will be
lining up in the second
row for the England rugby
team in the Six Nations.
But when he’s not on the
pitch, Maro Itoje can
be found modelling,
studying black history or
contemplating a job in
politics. A sports career
doesn’t last for ever, he
tells Michael Odell

PORTRAITS Robert Wilson STYLING Prue White

Maro Itoje, 27,
wears, opposite,
vest, dunhill.com;
jeans, levi.com.
This page: suit,
dolcegabbana.com

Playing for Saracens against Worcester Warriors, December 2021

GETTY IMAGES, @MAROITOJE/INSTAGRAM just can’t help wondering: what is a noting Itoje didn’t seem to have many scars. “The one over my left eye is from when
Ralph Lauren fashion model thinking (Itoje has modelled for Marks & Spencer I was 15 when I got headbutted in a tackle,”
about as he dives into a ruck? as well as Ralph Lauren, and once appeared he says, giving me a tour. “My lip is damaged
on the cover of Tatler with the Duke of and I’ve had operations on a broken jaw and
England rugby international Maro Cambridge’s cousin Lady Amelia Windsor.) a hand. My teeth are showing some impacts
Itoje considers the question. He touches and my shins are like a battleground.”
the pearl dangling from his left ear I’m sitting opposite him in an east London
thoughtfully. photo studio. He’s 6ft 5in. Even in a normal- With forwards, it’s the cauliflower ears
sized chair, he squishes himself up like a dad though, isn’t it? His ears look OK.
I “Honestly, that never crosses my in one of those tiny plastic seats at a primary
mind. On the pitch I’m never thinking school parents’ evening. His size 13.5 shoes look “I don’t want outrageous cauliflowers;
about clothes or fashion shoots. I’m like the sort of thing you’d strap to the roof of I’ve got little ‘caulis’. But, if you want to win,
totally immersed in the cause. I want that a car before heading off on a canoeing holiday. you forget pain and risks. Your whole body
ball. I’m part of a team that wants to win.” is on the line.”
But I don’t know what Jones was moaning
So you never face down a snarling pack of about. Close up, there they are. Bruises, It’s a good time for England. The team
bruisers and think, “Guys, not the face, OK?” bumps, welts, surgical scars. performed well during last year’s autumn
internationals, beating Australia and edging
“Never. I would never duck a tackle to
protect my face. That thought literally never
occurs to me.”

Rugby union’s Six Nations Championship
is almost upon us. Itoje, a formidable forward
who plays in the second row of the scrum
for London-based Saracens and who is an
England regular, is waiting to hear if he has
been picked. The phone call from coach Eddie
Jones could come at any moment.

“Or not,” the 27-year-old says, chuckling.
“I mean, you never take it for granted. To be
given that place is the privilege of a lifetime
and plenty of players want it.”

The call duly comes, with Itoje named
in Jones’ 36-man squad for the tournament.
So that means next up for Itoje is a five-day
England training camp in Brighton: endless
tactical seminars, weights and Wattbike
sessions and chin-ups with a 74kg weight
strapped round the waist. Most daunting of
all are the 6am calls for “bacon and eggs”.
Guess what? It’s not breakfast. These are
extra, individualised workouts with more
weights, or focused stretching, or sometimes
simply fighting, wrestling on the floor with
a member of the coaching staff.

Off the field, nutritionists will work to
get Itoje – who has won three European
Champions Cups and four Premiership titles
with Saracens, and since making his England
debut aged 21, two Six Nations Championships
– to his optimum playing weight, a sweet spot
around 18st 5lb.

“You need to be just the right composition
of muscle and fat,” he says, sipping a sad-
looking cup of tea with oat milk.

But the food, the training, that’s relatively
easy. At elite level, all players are in good nick.
So what else is there?

“This,” says Itoje, tapping a temple.
“Ninety-five per cent of players are at a
physical peak, so the marginal differences are
now mental. That’s what Eddie Jones and the
team are so good at. We become this wall of
mental strength.”

When Jones first met the teenage Itoje
he told him he was a Vauxhall Viva who
needed to be a BMW. Jones also seemed a
little sceptical of his interest in modelling,

12 The Times Magazine

With England team-mates at a training session, 2020 With the Junior World Championship trophy, 2014 free-flowing team, I loved it. To me it seems
In 2012, the year he signed his first professional contract crazy that I might never have found it.”

He attended a Black Lives Matter march. On the Itoje’s journey is also symbolic.
Colston Four court case: ‘I wasn’t unhappy with it’ Traditionally, rugby union has been very
white and middle class. In 2003, when
out South Africa to avenge their 2019 World is concussed or the fly half is sin-binned? We England won the World Cup, they had one
Cup final defeat. rehearse the emotions that arise and I think black player, Jason Robinson. Now the squad
I am mentally stronger than I’ve ever been. is about 30 per cent black.
Itoje played in that 2019 final, when I’m becoming the player I know I can be.”
England were favourites to win. But after In 2020, Itoje’s cousin Beno Obano, who
he accidentally knocked team-mate Kyle The rise of Maro Itoje has been meteoric. plays rugby for Bath, made a documentary
Sinckler unconscious after just two minutes, As a child he played basketball and represented for Amazon called Everybody’s Game. A
they seemed to go to pieces. Itoje has England in junior shot-put competitions. He 2019 survey had shown that 37 per cent of
described the defeat as the worst experience was 11 years old when he picked up a rugby international players were educated at private
of his life, on or off the pitch, and refused to ball for the first time – 8 years later, he was school, but Obano describes in the film how
wear the runners-up medal. captain of the England Under-20 team that he discovered the game despite growing up on
won the 2014 Junior World Championship. an estate in Peckham, south London. Another
“But now I use that feeling. You remind player, England prop Ellis Genge, grew up on
yourself what losing a World Cup is like. And “My family is Nigerian and rugby isn’t a Bristol council estate. He is the most vocal
part of our training is scenario planning. What really part of the culture, so it took a while interviewee in the documentary and says what
happens if we go 14 points down in the first for me to be introduced to the sport. But initially put him off rugby was that he thought
10 minutes? What happens if our biggest player the physicality of it and the beauty of a it was for “wankers wearing chinos”.

“Ellis is always quite fruity with his
language but yes, there are still class and
race issues,” says Itoje. “It’s changing though.
I believe kids from disadvantaged backgrounds
could revolutionise the game. When they play
it, they have that hunger. But it’s interesting
to me the subtle signals we receive that tell us
this sport or that sport is meant for you or not
meant for you.”

Itoje is not from a hardscrabble life himself.
He was born in Camden, north London,
to dad Efe, a teacher, and mum Florence,
who works in property. He went to a north
London prep school called Salcombe, then
a state boarding school called St George’s
in Hertfordshire (also attended by current
England captain Owen Farrell). Aged 16,
Itoje won a scholarship to Harrow, the alma
mater of Winston Churchill. Sometimes other
kids used his “English” name, Miles. As a
prefect, he wore a top hat and bow tie and
carried a cane.

“I was very fortunate, I know that,” he
says. “And you can’t argue with education as
a route to realising potential. But I want young
hopefuls to know that, these days, private
school is not the only route into the sport.
There is a lot of talent going to waste because
young people don’t know that.”

He loved Harrow, though he has said the
teaching of black history was deficient. These
days he is something of an activist. In 2020,
following the murder of George Floyd in
Minneapolis, Itoje attended a Black Lives
Matter march in Hyde Park, London. And
when the statue of slave trader Edward
Colston was tipped into the docks in Bristol,
he applauded the wider cultural awakening
afoot across the country. He watched the
recent “Colston Four” court case with interest.

“It was a sound verdict but it is a tricky
one. Overall I wasn’t unhappy with it. I think
that whole episode marked a great change

The Times Magazine 13



MAROITOJE/TWITTER, PAUL EDWARDS/THE SUN, RICHARD POHLE in terms of how a young generation, black and With Jay-Z – Itoje is part of his Roc Nation roster “I don’t believe there’s any malicious
white, thinks about history and racism.” intent. But it is weird how an African-
Swing Low, Sweet American spiritual has become a drinking
That view must make the England dressing Chariot? ‘I don’t believe song about banging a few beers. I mean,
room a pretty interesting place. In 2020, Itoje there’s any malicious it’s kind of fascinating how something can
appeared on BBC Radio 4 presenter Nick intent when fans sing it’ become so detached from its roots. But once
Robinson’s Political Thinking podcast and the you know the original context, what do you
pair discussed the fallout from the George Above: at Wimbledon in 2019. Below: at the Signature do? I don’t believe in policing personal choice.
Floyd murder. African Art gallery in London, May 2021 I have never thought the fans have meant
anything negative by singing it.”
Robinson pointed out that Itoje’s England
colleague Courtney Lawes was angry that Itoje is only 27 but he can sound like
BLM protests had been hijacked by “angry a wise old man, weighing things carefully,
lefties”. Lawes further tweeted, “England is not seeing both sides. He hosts his own podcast
a racist country,” and even took the trouble called Pearl Conversations (his nickname
to admonish Manchester United star Marcus is “the Pearl”). In a chat with former New
Rashford for a widely lauded free school meals Labour spin doctor Alastair Campbell, the
campaign (Lawes suggested Rashford should latter told him always being known for one
encourage parents to be financially secure and thing could be a burden. Itoje would always be
married before having children). Itoje didn’t an England international, regardless of what
want to respond directly to Lawes’ comments. he achieved in the future.
But what he did say was interesting. He
asserted that some black people had to “Not if I become the prime minister of the
“unpack” their “internalised racism”. UK or president of Nigeria?” asked Itoje. It
was quite the riposte. Is he seriously thinking
What did he mean? about a career in politics?
“Black people are conditioned to think
certain things. For example, TV, books, media “Politics is a rough game – in many ways,
and societal norms have dictated that our view I would say rougher than rugby. In rugby you
of beauty is Eurocentric. Believe me, there are see them coming. And you know what they
a lot of black men in the UK who do not find want: the ball. But who knows? All I can say
black women attractive. In my opinion that’s is it really interests me.”
due to media images, TV and adverts. I don’t
think this, but let’s say I didn’t find Chinese Few England players can have had quite
people attractive. I might be able to square such a fully formed geopolitical outlook. On
that but when it’s your own race, that shows social media he comments on China’s Belt
a bias that’s been internalised within yourself. and Road policy in Uganda, the scourge of
This isn’t a case of a couple of hundred police brutality in Nigeria or the career of
black men – it’s a general trend. And it’s recently deceased Colin Powell, America’s
predominantly black men towards black first African-American secretary of state.
women, not the other way round. From my He admires recently retired German
experience, black women love black men.” chancellor Angela Merkel and Labour
Itoje says he has seen the devastating effect leader Sir Keir Starmer.
this has had on black women’s self-esteem.
“The culture of skin bleaching and skin- “I liked Alastair Campbell’s book [Winners:
lightening creams is still a massive issue in the And How They Succeed] because it clearly
UK, America and Africa. It’s another example defines the differences between objective,
of how we have been sold the idea that lighter strategy and tactics. All great leaders have
skin is better.” that knowledge.”
“I think black men in the UK need to
be educated. People get defensive when Do his team-mates ever tease him about
you talk about this stuff and I wish it wasn’t his interests?
that way. It’s not meant to be an attack on
anybody. It’s just that black women should “No, never. You only get humbled if
be shown love – I hope they know what you’re cocky and I don’t think I am. I’m
I think of them.” not the only one with outside interests.
The aftermath of George Floyd’s death Some of them are obsessed with brewing
triggered widespread soul-searching across the perfect cup of coffee. Others race cars
education and the media, from museums or play golf. I can’t play golf to save my life
to boardrooms. The world of rugby is not – they respect that.”
immune. England governing body the RFU
has reappraised its stance on the fan anthem Itoje credits family and education with
Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, a 19th-century his own success. Efe and Florence arrived
African-American slave song. It has stopped in the UK from Nigeria in the Nineties.
selling merchandise that includes the lyrics They were loving but strict, his father telling
and no longer displays the words on its him he could pursue his rugby career as
electronic stadium billboards. Is that enough? long as he made it to university. Itoje made
his debut for Saracens while still a politics
undergraduate at the School of Oriental and
African Studies (part of the University of
London) and made his England debut the
year he graduated.

The Times Magazine 15

GETTY IMAGES. OPENING SPREAD: GROOMING, BROOKE SIMONS AT CAROL HAYES “I’m grateful for being pushed. Even just ‘With Nigerian families, Lions tour of New Zealand as the team’s
MANAGEMENT USING DR SEBAGH AND COVER FX. JEWELLERY, MARO ITOJE’S OWN in terms of dress, my mother wanted me to you know who’s in media director. Campbell recalled seeing
look sharp, look proper. And my dad, well… charge. Education was Lions team members relaxing in the hotel bar.
Just say he walked in this room right now. drummed into me as He had a bad feeling. There was no hunger.
There are only two chairs – he’d expect me the key to everything’ There was no fear.
to stand up and offer him one. He might not
take it, but he would like the gesture. It’s a With his family after a British & Irish Lions match, 2017 The tour was a disaster – the Lions lost
generational thing. My mum and her siblings every Test match – a lesson that has not been
called their father ‘Sir’. With Nigerian families, In rugby, that’s hard. Because, unlike lost on Itoje.
you know who’s in charge. Education was Premier League football, club rugby is subject
drummed into me as the key to everything.” to a salary cap that, due to the economic “Yeah, you need the ‘fear’,” he says. “You
impact of the pandemic, was actually reduced need that sense that it’s life or death to really
Itoje is his own man now. He campaigns by 28 per cent at the end of last year. Itoje is perform and get the best out of yourself.”
for Black Curriculum, a social enterprise an Arsenal fan and friendly with members of
pushing for the wider teaching of black history the team. Doesn’t he ever envy those Premier Locating it is the job of England team
in schools. Last year he co-curated a London League pay rates? psychologist Dr Andrea Furst. Every England
art show called A History Untold showcasing player has their own tailored psychological
African art and also backed a campaign to “Like I said, I don’t go out there trying treatment plan. With Itoje, though, Furst
distribute spare tablets and computers to to earn £1 billion.” He smiles. “But there is a doesn’t have to try to motivate him. She
underprivileged students during the pandemic. problem with the salary cap – it’s about double has to calm him down.
in France and Japan, so it means we will lose
“I’ve had lots of advantages. It feels like the big-name players. The big names make “I guess my file probably says I need to
a duty to do good where I can,” he shrugs. games exciting and, to be honest, some channel my desire better. For example, in an
matches I watched in lockdown were not opposition lineout I want to try to steal the
Even when, last year, Gavin Williamson, great. You need those big personalities.” ball even though statistically it’s very unlikely
education secretary at the time, held a Zoom you can do that. In the past I have gone in
call with Itoje to discuss the computer appeal Itoje is one of those big personalities. too strong, accidentally hit another player and
and then gave a newspaper interview Rugby has its own weird vernacular and that cost us a penalty. That brings unnecessary
erroneously trumpeting his meeting with “shithousery” is slang for gamesmanship pressure for the whole team. I need to contain
Marcus Rashford, Itoje remained dignified. – ie winding up the opposition or nagging that desire sometimes.”
Wryly amused, even. the ref over every infringement. Fans
love it and Itoje has been called England’s He doesn’t seem to have contained that
“Due to recent speculation I thought it was “shithouse-in-chief” for the way he gets in desire to win today. Itoje is enjoying a “bye
necessary to confirm that I am not Marcus the opposition’s faces. It’s the same at club week” – Saracens don’t have a game – so it’s
Rashford,” he tweeted. level. In 2018, while playing for Saracens up to him to decide how much training he
against Glasgow Warriors, a video of him does. This morning he got up early, ate a
“What can I say? He made a mistake,” he sarcastically applauding a disallowed Warriors bagel, drank a protein shake and then went to
says with a smile. try went viral. the gym and did a whole body weight-training
session (he did his upper body and lower body
Itoje would rather concentrate on the big “I suppose I can be quite vocal,” he says earlier in the week, he tells me). After that he
stuff, like getting more black schoolchildren to carefully. “But my energy is directed toward did a running session, then went home and
learn about 14th-century Malian king Mansa the team and myself. In the process, maybe prepared himself a Nigerian delicacy called
Musa. I must admit, I’d never heard of him. I rub some people up the wrong way.” egusi soup (it contains melon seeds, vegetables
Musa was the richest man who has ever lived, and sometimes meat).
apparently. He travelled across his vast West There it is again – that megawatt smile.
African empire with a retinue of 60,000. His chat with Alastair Campbell covered “Training is not work to me. It’s what
the importance of team motivation. Campbell I love,” he says.
“It’s so interesting that we hear about Jeff is a rugby fanatic and in 2005 he went on the
Bezos or Bill Gates, great and wealthy figures He lives in north London with his brother
from today. But one of the richest men who Jeremy, who plays rugby for a local team in
ever lived was Mansa Musa. So many great Harrow. In the evening they watch sport or
moments in black history have been lost and listen to Nineties R&B artists like Boyz II Men
that’s a pity, because what you are exposed to or Tevin Campbell. Itoje also tends his
shapes who you are.” collection of tropical fish.

Now he’s planning for his own future “I have koi and blue orfe, some shubunkins
beyond sport. He reckons he has another and until recently I had a black sturgeon
eight years in the game and then, aged 35, called Naomi Campbell because she’s so
he will retire. He is currently doing an MBA beautiful. There’s something about fish. They
at Warwick Business School with a view are calming when my head is full of stuff.”
to developing a post-rugby career. Like his
sporting heroes Muhammad Ali and Shaquille When England line up for their opening
O’Neal, Itoje could be one of those who game against Scotland next weekend, Itoje
transcend their sport. No wonder billionaire should earn his 51st England cap. At some
rapper and entrepreneur Jay-Z has signed him point on the walk from the dressing room to
to his Roc Nation management company. the pitch he’ll have to forget about modelling,
art and politics. Is that hard?
“Jay-Z is more than just his music – and
ultimately I want a career beyond sport. “No, it isn’t hard to get your head in the
Rugby is my life, but careers are short game,” he says. “There’s a lot of love among
and risks are huge. I’m not clamouring for the team from the moment you’re in camp.
£1 billion, but I want to look after my family Everything you do, it’s all about England. The
and extended family.” outside world feels like another place. There is
nothing except that drive to win.” n

16 The Times Magazine



SHE TAKES A
BIG BREATH
DIVES 122 METRES
AND STAYS
UNDER WATER
FOR 7 MINUTES

Alenka Artnik, 40,
photographed in Dahab,
Egypt, by Kalindi Wijsmuller
and, opposite, diving
at the 2021 World
Championship in Turkey,
by Federico Buzzoni

Alenka Artnik is a record-
breaking freediver who has
plummeted to depths no
woman has reached before.
She tells Ben Machell why
her traumatic childhood
spurs her to go deeper

NANNA KREUTZMANN, DAAN VERHOEVEN lenka Artnik is a professional do you do?’ They were very interested. They Artnik moments before her record-breaking dive of 114m in Sharm
freediver. She can hold her breath wanted to know where I had come from.” el-Sheikh, Egypt, November 2020
for seven minutes and, wearing
just a neoprene wetsuit and These are reasonable questions. How does Artnik on Long Island in the Bahamas, photographed by her
carbon-fibre monofin, reach ocean an anonymous Slovenian woman in her mid- partner, fellow freediver Florian Burghardt
depths where it is darker than thirties just show up and dominate one of the
midnight and barometric pressure most psychologically demanding pursuits ever Fewer people can reach
conceived by humans? To answer this properly depths of more than
A squeezes her body like a sponge, takes some time, however, and requires us to 100 metres the way
causing her arteries to constrict understand that, rather than being defined by Artnik does it than
and her lungs to shrink to the Zen-like calm and control, the first three decades have spacewalked
size of tennis balls. of Artnik’s life were the opposite. Instead, grief,
trauma and feelings of hopelessness dominated. stress and responsibilities while her own needs
Artnik competes in a form of freediving More than once, she had considered killing were entirely overlooked. “I never had space
known as the constant weight discipline herself. One night, in 2010, Artnik found in my family,” she says without bitterness.
(CWT). Whereas some divers will make use herself standing on a bridge in the Slovenian “Because of all these crazy people around,
of heavy sleds to help them descend and capital of Ljubljana and peering down at taking all the space and attention.”
air-filled balloons to help them return to the the dark water beneath her, weighing up
surface, CWT divers must swim down and whether to jump. “For so many years, I was Though a hard-working and conscientious
back up again under their own power. Their very, very unhappy. I was drowning,” she says. student, she was never once asked by her
discipline is, as a result, considered the purest “Drowning deeper and deeper and deeper.” parents what, for example, she might like
and most prestigious form of the sport. to be when she grew up. Amid the chronic
Artnik is slim, with fine features and dark instability of the apartment, such dreamy,
Yet for all the physiological strain involved hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. She is abstract conversations served no practical
it is perhaps, above all things, an exercise open, warm and prone to a poetic turn of function. “There was never a question of,
in calm and control. To excel at this type of phrase, particularly when describing either ‘What am I going to do with my life?’ The
diving, you must be able to enter an almost the sensation of being in the water, or the only question was survival.”
Zen-like state as you begin your descent. The struggles that had dogged her for so long.
very act of thinking wastes valuable oxygen,
while fear – even if just a fleeting doubt – will She now lives near Geneva with her
cause your heart rate to rise, increasing the partner, Florian Burghardt, who works in
risk of blackouts. To freedive is to enter a cold, finance but is an accomplished freediver
counterintuitive world that most of us are not himself. But she grew up in the port of Koper,
remotely equipped to handle. The statistics a Yugoslavian city which, in 1991, became part
underline this: the number of people who have of the new country of Slovenia. Artnik lived in
made it to depths of more than 100 metres an apartment with her parents and her older
(328ft) in this way is far fewer than the sister and half-brother from her father’s first
number of people who have spacewalked. marriage. Her father, Franc, was a plumber. He
was also an alcoholic who, later in life, would
And no woman has ever gone deeper than be diagnosed with borderline personality
Artnik. In July last year, she set a record of disorder. Her brother, Simon, was a decade
122m in the Bahamas. Using her monofin older than her and became addicted to heroin
and “dolphin kick” technique, she swam like while she was still in primary school.
a mermaid to a depth of 80m, then stopped
moving altogether and allowed momentum Between them, father and son made the
to carry her the remaining distance. After small apartment a crucible of chaos, uncertainty
grabbing a Velcro tag attached to a plate and strife. Franc would regularly go missing.
suspended at her target depth, she turned “And so me, my mum and sister would have
around and kicked her way back towards to go out at night looking for him, because
sunlight, her eyes shut, her face still and he didn’t come home and we knew he’d be
expressionless, like someone in a deep, drunk somewhere,” she says. “Or we’d have the
enchanted sleep. The underwater footage of police coming to our home because they were
her completing the dive is both moving and looking for my brother. That was normal.”
eerie. “When I’m free-falling, the sensation is
beautiful,” she says. “I feel like I’m just this Explosive arguments would prompt
drop in the ocean. I feel like I belong there.” Artnik to retreat to her bedroom with her
cat, Snezinka – Snowflake – whom she would
Artnik is 40, but even a few years ago she cuddle and whisper to. When she was ten, her
was a virtual unknown. She arrived at the 2016 parents divorced, though Franc continued to
World Championships in Turkey having only live in the apartment. Money was perpetually
taken up the sport in earnest the previous tight. At night, she would hear her mother
year. Representing Slovenia, she promptly broke weeping and worry that she was going to kill
two CWT records. “People were like, ‘Who herself. “I had a father who was an alcoholic,
is this girl?’” says Artnik, smiling. “It was a a brother who was a drug addict and my
surprise.” In the days that followed, she found mum probably wanted to end her life several
herself approached by the coaches of other times. Because being in between those two
nations, who regarded her with puzzlement was a horrible nightmare.”
and peppered her with questions. “‘How were
you able to do that? How do you train? What She became the quietest, smallest part
of this dysfunctional unit, absorbing all the

20 The Times Magazine

Artnik diving in
Dean’s Blue Hole in
the Bahamas, 2019

The Times Magazine 21

DAAN VERHOEVEN Artnik found solace in sports, particularly ‘It’s not just physical; the She learnt about something called the
kayaking, in which she showed considerable mind has to be ready mammalian diving reflex, an evolutionary
promise. “It helped me keep my sanity, basically.” to go deep.’ Can she go adaptation that triggers a series of protective
But her mother eventually remarried and deeper? ‘I don’t want reactions in our bodies once we are submerged
moved out of the apartment, and her older to put limits on it’ in water. Your heart rate slows to conserve
sister left for the capital, Ljubljana, as soon as oxygen. Blood is diverted away from your limbs
she was old enough. With Simon also absent, of looked up and said to the universe, ‘I can’t and towards your vital organs and chest cavity,
in and out of treatment programmes, it left do it any more.’” helping to prevent your lungs from collapsing
Artnik alone with her father for the first time. under the increasing pressure. Your spleen,
It was, she says, an act of surrender. An which serves as a reservoir of blood, contracts,
Though now sober, his borderline admission to whoever was listening that she releasing more oxygen into your circulatory
personality disorder manifested in intense no longer had it in her to carry the weight of system. So we are, she says, better suited to
mood swings and what seemed to Artnik, her family’s dysfunction. She had spent almost surviving in deep water than many of us may
now a teenager, a deliberate effort to leave her a decade trying to show the world that she instinctively assume. “We all came from the
feeling both unsure of herself and of his love. was not OK. But having finally admitted it to sea,” she says brightly. “It’s very interesting.”
It was as if she were a dog, she says, and he was herself, a funny thing happened. She began to
the owner, sometimes throwing a ball for her feel better. Not great. But at least, not quite so But, of course, it’s not that simple. By
to chase, but at other times only pretending to bad. “It was like I was taking off this invisible the time Artnik left the Red Sea, she was
throw it. Testing and teasing and seeing what backpack,” she says. “And then life started able to dive to a depth of 92m and, shortly
kind of reaction he got. “If you’re living with happening for me.” afterwards, announced herself at the 2016
people with borderline personality disorder, it World Championship in Turkey, winning both
can be really, really hard. All the time it’s like A year later, an ex-boyfriend who had the monofin and bifin events. And to do that,
back and forth,” she says, speaking quickly. taken up spearfishing invited her along to you cannot simply rely on your mammalian
“It’s manipulation. Emotional manipulation.” the pool where he and some friends trained, diving reflex to keep you alive.
swimming lengths underwater to build up
Already insecure, finding herself the brunt of their stamina. Artnik joined in. Though not in By then, she had mastered the essential art
her father’s emotional maladjustment almost great shape physically – “If they had taken a of “equalising”, a process in which freedivers
pushed her over the edge. In her helplessness, blood test, they would have put me in detox continually shift air into their inner ears in
she contemplated killing herself, just to show because I was still drinking way too much” order to counter the mounting pressure that
him the pain he was causing. “It drove me – she found that she immediately enjoyed would otherwise see their eardrums rupture.
crazy to the point where I wanted to jump the sensation of being submerged. She bought She had learnt too of the danger posed by
from the balcony. To show him how desperate some fins (freedivers do not call them flippers) nitrogen narcosis, a disorientating phenomenon
I was. And how desperate he made me feel.” and signed up for a weekend underwater also known as “the rapture of the deep” that can
course in a swimming pool. By the end of the affect divers the deeper they go. “It’s almost
Instead, she too fled to Ljubljana. She second day, she was completing length after like being a bit drunk. But that means you can
got a job at a skateboard shop, abandoned length after length without coming up for air. lose orientation. You can lose your sense of
her passion for sports, and instead tried to It was uncanny. Nobody could quite believe time. And that means you can black out.”
lose herself in a party lifestyle. Having spent what they were seeing as she continued to
her entire childhood trying to keep herself glide, back and forth, beneath the surface. Artnik has never yet lost consciousness,
together, as Artnik entered her twenties, she “I just felt like… this is me.” although it is not uncommon among CWT
began to unravel. “I was hurting myself. It was freedivers, particularly on surfacing. Fortunately,
like a valve,” she says of this attempt to lose She realised very quickly that swimming rigorous safety protocols – including the
herself in hedonism. “It was the only way underwater was everything her life on land was presence of several scuba-equipped safety
I knew how to open up and show people that I not. It was quiet. It was peaceful. It requires divers and intense medical screening – mean
was f***ed up. That I needed help. I expressed you to calm your ego. “It’s a place where you that fatalities are rare during professional
that through partying and drinking too much.” don’t need to prove yourself. It’s a place where competitions and record attempts.
you don’t need to fight for your life. It’s a place
She felt disconnected and alone, as though where you just… are,” she says. “And you have Nevertheless, in 2013 the American
she were trapped “in a vacuum”. She kept a right to be there. It is the biggest feeling of Nicholas Mevoli died after sustaining lung
drinking and partying and bouncing from freedom. And I felt that immediately.” injuries during a world record attempt during
one relationship to another. And what made which he seemed to momentarily hesitate
it worse was that she knew she could do Artnik and her father had, gradually, before then continuing his descent to his
something far more meaningful if only she repaired their relationship. But when he too target depth. But Artnik believes the fact that
knew how. “I knew that I was a smart girl. died of cancer, it seemed that there was little she does not push herself during her dives is,
I knew that I had talents. I knew that I had keeping her in Slovenia. Having already found though it sounds contradictory, the secret of
a good heart,” she says, frowning. “I just herself drawn to freediving and spent some her success. The struggles she had experienced
couldn’t place them. I couldn’t find anything time training in the open-water discipline, earlier in her life mean that, today, she has
I could express myself through. It was like I she decided to commit to this new passion. perspective on what is important. “All the
was deliberately sabotaging myself.” Renting an old cottage near Sharm el-Sheikh heaviness that happened has helped me take
in Egypt, she spent nine months doing “super- life not so seriously,” she says. This, in turn,
In 2004, her brother died as a result of his intense” training in the Red Sea, mastering means she doesn’t really get too worked up
addiction. The night before, he had tried to the practicalities of diving to great depths. about whether she breaks records or not. “And
call her but she had been too tired to answer. that automatically takes some of the stress and
That same year, her mother was diagnosed some of the expectation away. So you’re not
with cancer; she would die in 2009. Not attached to a particular outcome or result.”
long after, Artnik found herself on the bridge,
wondering whether she should jump. She This lack of expectation is relaxing which,
was, more than anything else, just exhausted. as we now know, is the ideal state in which to
“When I was standing on the bridge, I kind dive. “So that hard life? It is a gift now,” she

22 The Times Magazine

Artnik sets another says. It helps, of course, that something about
record, reaching a depth Artnik and the life she has led means she is
of 122m in the Bahamas primed to seek this out: the need to surrender
and the “beautiful” sensation of sinking down,
on July 21, 2021 down, down. It is only later that it occurs to
me that perhaps Artnik’s brother had, with
heroin, been trying to achieve something not
so different.

She also works incredibly hard strengthening
her lungs with a variety of breath-holding
exercises. But with the right kind of training,
she insists, most people are capable of holding
their breath for far longer than they realise.
“Most people don’t even know how to breathe.
And just by doing a few minutes of correct
breathing, it doesn’t just calm your mind,
but you can start to take advantage of your
lung capacity.”

In fact, much of Artnik’s waking life seems
to involve strengthening her lungs. She will
pound lengths while holding her breath.
She will do squats while holding her breath.
Yesterday, she hiked up a Swiss mountainside
breathing only through her nostrils. She is, she
insists, a great person to have around before
kids’ birthday parties, such is her balloon-
blowing prowess. “Which is very good training
for the respiratory muscles,” she says, holding
up a finger. “Blow, blow, blow.”

She jokes that perhaps she has inherited
the same constitution that allowed her father
and brother to survive their addictions as long
as they did. But, ultimately, what really allows
Artnik to swim to the depths she does is her
outlook. “You cannot really go deep until the
mind is ready. It’s not just the physical aspect.
The mind has to be ready to go deep.”

But how much deeper can she go? The
men’s CWT freedive record stands at 130m.
Physiologically, men possess the advantage of
having relatively larger lungs and spleens. But
psychologically? Artnik is Artnik. If she can
do nine more metres, then nobody will have
ever dived further on one breath. She thinks
she can still go deeper, but then she also
thinks that humans, as a species, can still
go deeper. Just how far? She doesn’t know.
“I don’t want to put limits on it,” she says. But
even if she doesn’t go deeper, that’s not a big
deal. “I’ve always said that one day I might
wake up and feel that I’ve done everything
I was meant to do in freediving. And I’m totally
OK with that. It will be a new page in life.”

For the time being, though, she is still drawn
to the depths. She says that often she will have
these incredibly intense dreams in which she
is descending and then dolphins approach
her and they are able to communicate.
I ask, only half-joking, if she ever feels
an urge to simply let herself keep sinking
for ever? To surrender completely to the
sea? She smiles. As much as she loves it, she
says, she knows that she must always return.
“I know that I belong here,” she says. “On
the surface.” n

The Times Magazine 23

IBDSAOCTEHHSEEHLBEOIRLWLFABONORTARTRDOEAL:
FIND A WIFE?

Whtwrslhoeuoeichoaisnteekrotmidnivrnviesonhig.drngiSafssttoolhh.pfrTw,oohtdrhuohaedesstevoaai2opntta9uiedapn-rtyspsgfMeetoesuacfauirtntrm-seeptolideaMolmdsrrostusinnMazsigenmahuergd?ehsalveatfrectrmeroohatnmmlielsyhaiahnradlogsiMepreafluikl

INTERVIEW Ben Machell

Muhammad Malik
photographed in London

by Tom Jackson



meet Muhammad Malik at an upmarket His billboard in Perry Barr, Birmingham
coffee place in Borough Market, not
far from London Bridge. We order
our drinks – Americano for me, hot
chocolate for him – and make polite
small talk while we stand and wait. He
lives, he says, way out in west London,

I near Heathrow, but works in Holborn
as a financial technology consultant. He

spends a lot of time on the Piccadilly

Line and punctuality is not always his strong

suit. He likes to tell himself that high-quality

hot chocolate provides all kinds of health

benefits, even though, deep down, he knows

he just has a sweet tooth. The barista hands

us our mugs and we move to a quiet corner.

Malik, who is 29, sits upright and smiles.

He has large, expressive eyes, wears a nice

cable-knit jumper and, every now and then,

will absently stroke his thick black beard.

During these moments, I am conscious

of the fact that there are many women – unable to find the right girl. He did not everyone wanted to rib him about his sudden

hundreds, probably thousands of women have options. “It’s tough out there,” he says. fame. He was, they gleefully told him, a “viral

– who would swap places with me in a Knowing of his predicament, a friend sensation”. By the end of the first week, he

heartbeat. Over the past few weeks, Malik approached him with a radical suggestion. had received more than 1,000 messages. By

has become one of the most pursued men What if they paid for a load of roadside the second week of January, that number had

on the planet, as a result of an audacious billboards advertising his availability? The more than tripled.

billboard stunt, sponsored by Muzmatch, a friend worked for Muzmatch and told him In person, Malik projects an appealing

Muslim dating site. Women flock to his social they would cover the cost of the adverts. sense of self-awareness. But he admits he

media profiles and try to attract his attention Malik chewed it over. On the one hand, it is also frazzled by all the interest, like the

by replying to his posts with kisses, winking would be a little embarrassing. But then, on protagonist of a fairytale who, having once

emojis and any number of other digital the other hand, it would be funny. Plus, well, been cursed by scarcity, is now cursed with

dropped handkerchiefs. it might actually work. So he agreed. “It was magical abundance.

They leave coy voice notes in his like, what’s the worst that can happen?” So, for example, he now has to try very

Instagram direct messages. They send He posed for photos, reclining with a

emails introducing themselves replete with

photographs, personal histories and their MUZMATCH SAID IT TWHOEUWLDORCSOTVETRHATTHCEACNOHSTASP.PHENE?’
educational qualifications. These online THOUGHT, ‘WHAT’S
approaches occur hourly, and such is his
global appeal, it has become impossible
to predict where the next one will come
from. “There’s been a flood of lovely,

beautiful women from Tanzania recently,”

he says. “There have been messages from hard not to lose himself in the thrill of the

loads of countries. From every continent.” He cheerful grin while pointing to a sign reading constant attention. “Making sure that I’m

is, romantically, what you might call a man “Save me from an arranged marriage”. not a victim of dopamine slavery, constantly

with options. A website address where prospective partners checking my phone and looking at the

A few weeks ago, though, things were not can get in touch, findMALIKawife.com, was number of people who are following me. And

like this at all. Malik had been thinking about also listed and which, when you visit, includes I’ve been tested by that,” he says. He has to

love and marriage for a while. “That if there information about Muzmatch. At the start of turn his phone off and spend time in prayer

was someone who I could, you know, add to January, these adverts were plastered across and meditation. He also feels duty-bound to

their happiness and they add to mine, then billboards in areas of London, Birmingham and respond to every inquiry he receives, which is

that would be a beautiful thing.” His criteria Manchester with large Muslim communities. a delicate job when it comes to saying thanks

was straightforward: a Muslim woman in her Almost immediately, his phone began to but no thanks. “I feel I’ve got to communicate

twenties who shares his spiritual side, who glow with messages. The first were from in a very empathetic way,” he says, brows

can keep up with the “banter” of his loud mates who had seen the posters and thought furrowed. “So if a lady is not geographically

Punjabi family, but who also has a grounded it was hilarious. The next wave of messages nearby, say they’re in east Asia, or they’re in

quality that would help temper his own were from women he already knew. “They a different age range and a lot more mature

tendency towards extroversion and scattiness. said, ‘Oh, I didn’t know you were actually than myself, how do I deal with that?”

“If you look at my desk, it’s an absolute mess looking,’” he says, mimicking a sort of sudden Then there are the women who, perhaps,

of Post-it Notes and books I’ve opened and feline interest. “‘Let’s have a chat.’ That was are in touch for the wrong reasons. Some

read the first chapter of,” he says. “So somebody probably day two.” of the applicants from “less well-developed

who is more organised, to be honest.” And then very quickly, everything went countries”, he says, are transparently hoping

But, for whatever reason, he had been mad. He walked into his mosque to find that to use a marriage in order to relocate to

The Times Magazine 27



the UK. “Which is sad, because it makes me SVEEXRYISONPPOOTSKIRTEY.PT‘TOHNEIRTEE’TSOTMHAUTSHLIUMGSE. IN FACT, IT’S THE
realise what we have in terms of comfort and DESIRE. HUGE’
opportunities here.”
STYLING: HANNAH ROGERS. GROOMING: NATASHA BULSTRODE AT ARLINGTON ARTISTS. point is that it’s the opposite. “There’s that might find meaningful relationships if they
MUHAMMAD MALIK WEARS SHIRT, MR P (MRPORTER.COM), AND TRAINERS, CONVERSE.COM There are also the would-be social media huge desire. Huuuge desire,” he says. “It was spent more time listening to the suggestions
personalities who hope to piggyback on really difficult. You’d get back in the changing of friends and family members, rather than
Malik’s newfound celebrity. “Women who room after playing sports, the testosterone is feeling they have to do it all alone, online.
have only reached out to me for clout. Who pumping through you and you want that kind
normally seek out rappers or footballers, and of stuff. There’s that classic saying that there This is not stopping him from spending
who are ‘influencers’ or strippers or have an are these two wolves inside you. One telling his evenings working through applicants. Does
OnlyFans,” he says, meaning they have a profile you to fulfil your desires, but the other he ever see someone’s photograph and just
on a website that allows them to produce thinking more long-term and strategically.” feel instant attraction? He nods. “Sometimes
personal, often intimate videos for their fans you might think she is absolutely stunning,
in exchange for payment. Malik says he doesn’t He went to university in London, where jaw-dropping,” he says. “But it’s important to
want to be too quick to judge. “I’m more than he studied accounting and finance. He says go beyond face value. Lust is important, and
happy to have a conversation with that person that in order to retain his “inner peace” it’s important to be attracted to the person
to see if they’re genuine.” But he wouldn’t hold and not succumb to the temptation of you’re interested in. But it’s got to be about
his breath. “Maybe they’re not the person I’m sex, he redirected a lot of that energy into values. Is this a person you can wake up to
going to be spiritually aligned with.” philanthropic work. While a student, he in 50 years and feel content?”
organised a drive to raise money for Great
Malik grew up on a council estate in Ormond Street children’s hospital. He set So far, after all the hundreds of messages,
Hounslow, the only child of Punjabi parents up stand-up comedy nights to help fund the Malik says he has a shortlist of three women
who were, he says, relatively old when they construction of clean wells in Africa. More that he sees as real possibilities. “I’ve been
had him. He went to Tiffin, a boys grammar recently, he travelled to Lesbos on a charity very honest with them and told them that
school in Kingston upon Thames. Having mission to provide support for Syrian they should keep their options open and I’ll
previously attended an Islamic school, he refugees. Professionally, he says that he has keep my options open, but that there’s merits
found that he soon developed a more outgoing always tried to use his skills to help improve in having further conversations.” So far, partly
personality as he entered adolescence. Caught the world around him. A start-up company because of the pandemic, partly because
between the urban world of his estate and he was involved in was designed to help he’s been a little overwhelmed, he hasn’t had
the more genteel environment of Kingston, entrepreneurs find ways to tackle social any face-to-face dates yet. Instead, he’s been
he became a “social chameleon”, adaptable problems. Right now, he’s working to develop having phone calls with the women and, in
and well liked. He put on magic and comedy tech solutions to what is known as the one case, their family. He’s looking forward to
revues – The Malik Show – and excelled “poverty premium”. “Which is the problem of the “IRL” – in real life – meetings though, and
at drama. This all complemented his finding yourself, by virtue of being less well getting to know them better.
interpretation of his faith perfectly. “Even off, burdened with the worst tariffs and the
putting a smile on somebody’s face is a worst insurance rates, all that kind of stuff. It’s “Whether that’s going to a restaurant and
huge act of charity, according to what the a trap, basically. And we’re trying to help.” seeing how they deal with a waiter, or how
Prophet said, right?” they deal with a busker on the street, that’s
So it turns out that the girls of Kingston how you really get an understanding of
But as he and his friends went deeper into and Hounslow’s loss was pretty much someone.” He would also expect his date to
adolescence, something changed. Gregarious everybody else’s gain. When he was in his be accompanied by a chaperone. This person
and looking not unlike a “young Zayn Malik”, early twenties, he says that he considered only needs to be in visible range during the
he would attract female attention. “And I’ll looking for someone to get married to, only date, rather than sitting with them at the
be honest, I would initially entertain, chatting to realise that he still wasn’t mature enough. table, but he acknowledges that many people
to a few girls and stuff like that,” he says, He signed up to “courses on self-awareness might find the idea alien. “But from a spiritual
only a little self-consciously. Every time, and emotional intelligence” and now feels perspective, it stops that internal wolf being
though, he found himself backing away from like he’s ready. “I feel like I’m aligned with like, ‘Let’s go to a hotel room,’ which would
this interest. “I realised it was going to take the person I wish to be in the future.” take away from the purity.”
me down this path, and obviously not being
intimate with anybody is an important part Despite the billboards’ tagline, Malik says The billboards will only be up for another
of my faith, and making sure that intimacy is that he doesn’t really feel he needs “saving’’ week or so, after which he hopes things may
tied to commitment.” In other words, sex was from an arranged marriage. He explains that start to calm down. Before he leaves our quiet
not going to happen. This would sometimes sometimes people conflate arranged marriage corner of the coffee shop, he says that, despite
leave the girls in question disappointed or with forced marriage, and while he has no the number of women who have got in touch,
confused. “It was like, ‘I have to leave it there. issue with the former provided that everybody he doesn’t mind if nothing comes of it all.
You’re an amazing girl. And I’m sorry. But involved has “complete autonomy” in their
I can’t.’” This meant he developed a reputation decision, the latter is “completely wrong” “It seems quite ironic, as somebody who
among his female peers. “It was like, ‘Malik is and impermissible under Islam. The Prophet put myself out there, but I’m actually really
great. But he’s frigid.’” Muhammad, he says, annulled the marriage content as a single person,” he says. “And
of a woman who came to him and said that I feel I could live very, very beautifully on
So while his friends were clumsily navigating she had been forced to marry her husband. In my own. Over the past year, I came to the
a new world of sex and relationships, bragging fact, despite having his billboards paid for by realisation that, in life, you don’t deserve
to each other about their “body counts” and a dating site and having a Muzmatch profile anything, and that anything that is given
the number of girls they’re dating, Malik, himself, Malik wonders if more young people to you is a blessing from God. So I’m happy
like many Muslim teenagers, found himself as I am,” he finishes, smiling softly. “Anything
observing from the sidelines. And what’s really else is a huge bonus.” n
important to understand, he says, is that sex is
not kryptonite to young Muslims. The whole

The Times Magazine 29

CAN’T GET YOUR
HEAD AROUND
ARTIFICIAL
INTELLIGENCE?
ASK THIS HUMAN

Forty per cent of us talk to AI assistants
every day – and artificial intelligence is
rapidly taking over every area of our lives,
from self-driving cars to robotic assassins.
British computer scientist and world-
leading AI expert Stuart Russell says
we urgently need to understand the
potential of superintelligent machines
– before they turn on us

INTERVIEW Damian Whitworth

Stuart Russell, 59,
photographed by
Richard Ansett.

Continues on page 58



BEST FOR FOOD PULALNDOUKTEEP

24 pages

Eat!of recipes

Angela Hartnett. Top right: ANGELA HARTNETT’S
parmesan and butter pasta 10 EASIEST, FASTEST

PASTA SAUCES

NAAN! HOW TO MAKE
INDIAN BASICS

THE DELICIOUS
LOW-CARB GUIDE

VEGANS, LOOK AWAY
OPERATION RED MEAT

NADIYA HUSSAIN’S
APPLE CAKES

All recipes serve 2 generously.
Just add 200-250g pasta of your choice

1. PESTO minutes until lightly browned. Place the 2. BROCCOLI, ANCHOVY, CHILLI
parmesan in a food processor and add the
• 150g pine nuts basil leaves, garlic, pine nuts and olive oil. • 125g sprouting broccoli, stems halved
• 150g parmesan Season to taste with freshly milled salt and • 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 large bunch of basil, leaves picked pepper. Blend for a few seconds to bring the • 1 pinch of dried chilli flakes
• 1 garlic clove pesto together until it is smooth. Check the • 8 anchovy fillets
• 250ml olive oil seasoning before stirring into pasta. • 25g ricotta salata or pecorino, grated

Heat a frying pan over a medium heat. Add Blanch the broccoli in a pan of salted
the pine nuts and toast them for a few boiling water, stalks first then tops,

34 The Times Magazine

PHOTOGRAPHS Romas Foord Eat! PASTA

cooked until soft. Remove and set the 3. BROAD BEAN, PEA AND MINT Cook the pasta in salted boiling water as per packet
pan aside, keeping the water. Add the instructions. While it’s cooking, place another pan
pasta to this water and cook as per • 2 tbsp olive oil over a medium heat and add the broad beans
packet instructions. Heat the olive oil • 200g broad beans, podded with a large pinch of salt. Once the broad beans
in a pan, add the chilli and anchovies, • 400g frozen peas have heated through, add the frozen peas and
gently heat, then add the broccoli. • Handful of fresh mint, lemon rind mint. Place a lid on the pan and heat gently for
Allow to break down and form a sauce, 3 minutes. Drain the pasta and toss with the veg
then add the pasta. Toss well with a and feta and a few spoons of the pasta cooking water to
drizzle of olive oil and a spoon of the emulsify. Add the lemon rind and finish with
cooking water. Top with the cheese. diced feta and milled black pepper.

The Times Magazine 35

4. SAUSAGE AND FENNEL Heat the olive oil over a pan and add 5. BASIC TOMATO SAUCE
the diced fennel, chilli and fennel seeds.
• 2 tbsp olive oil Cook for 10 minutes until soft. Add the • 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 small bulb of fennel, diced sausage and lightly cook to lose the • 1 onion, finely chopped
• Pinch of dried chilli redness (around 3-4 minutes). Pour • 1 x 400g can of plum tomatoes
• Pinch of fennel seeds in the tomatoes, season and cook for • 1 clove garlic, finely chopped
• 250g Italian sausages, cubed 30 minutes until the sauce thickens. • Sprig of rosemary (optional)
• 1 large tin of tomatoes

36 The Times Magazine

Eat! PASTA

Heat 2 tbsp oil in a large pan 6. PEPERONCINI OLIO AGLIO Add 4 tbsp oil to a pan over medium heat,
over medium heat. Add the finely add the garlic and fry gently until the
chopped onion, and cook for • 4 tbsp olive oil garlic becomes soft, without browning.
15 minutes. Add the tomatoes to • 2 cloves of garlic, peeled and Add the chilli flakes, then add cooked
the pan, using a fork or wooden pasta to the pan and finish with chopped
spoon to break them up. Stir in finely chopped parsley and parmesan, with a sprinkling
the garlic and add an optional sprig • 1 tsp chilli flakes of breadcrumbs if you like.
of rosemary. Cook for 30 minutes • Handful of parsley and parmesan
until the sauce thickens. • Handful of breadcrumbs, fried in The Times Magazine 37

butter and oil until golden (optional)

Angela Hartnett is chef-patron and pepper and swirl, stirring and tossing 8. CLAM LINGUINI
of Michelin-starred Murano until you achieve a sauce. Add the pasta
(muranolondon.com) and and toss to coat the pasta. Grind some • 2 cloves garlic, sliced
Cafe Murano (cafemurano.co.uk) fresh pepper on top and add a sprinkle • 2 tbsp olive oil
of cheese to finish. • 500g small clams, cleaned
7. CACIO E PEPE
and rinsed
• 1 tsp black peppercorns • Glug of white wine
• 160g pecorino • Handful of flat-leaf parsley

Toast the peppercorns in a dry, hot pan
until you start to smell the pepper
without it burning. Remove from the pan
and crush well in a mortar with a pestle.
Cook the pasta according to the packet
instructions. Drain the pasta and reserve
a couple of cups of pasta water. Add this
cooking water to the pan, add the cheese

38 The Times Magazine

Eat! PASTA

Cook the pasta in salted boiling water 9. CARBONARA 10. PARMESAN AND BUTTER
for 2 minutes less than the packet
instructions. Add the garlic to a pan • 150g pancetta or streaky bacon, cut into strips (Page 33)
with the oil and cook until soft and not • 3 medium eggs, plus one yolk • 75g salted butter
coloured. Add the clams and white • 60g parmesan, grated • 200g parmesan
wine to the pan and cover over high • Handful of flat-leaf parsley, chopped
heat for 2-3 mins until the clams open. Cook the pasta in salted boiling water
Drain the pasta and toss into the clams, Cook the pasta as per packet instructions. Add as per packet instructions. Melt the
then cook for another two minutes to 1 tbsp oil to a pan with the pancetta and fry it butter in a pan over medium heat.
reduce the sauce and coat the pasta. until it releases the fat. Drain the pasta, add it to Drain the pasta, add to the butter and
the pan and toss to combine. Beat the eggs and toss with the parmesan to coat the
yolk, add the parmesan and toss with the pasta. pasta. Add a touch of the cooking
Serve with parsley and milled black pepper. water and more parmesan as needed. n

The Times Magazine 39

ytoHueyw’roenl’towbeClaiervbe!
mdeeGlaHiicalosinolcdufrastorhpmloeroCKsttaaealtidrnieec-shrai:incdh

Carbs
6.3g
Calories
74

PHOTOGRAPHS Susan Bell

Eat! LOW CARB

Carbs
6.5g
Calories
653

Chicken wrapped in bacon
and, opposite, low-carb
mash, recipes overleaf

Eat! LOW CARB T here’s no shortage of eating plans Classic Italian tomato
designed to help you lose weight, from sauce with broccoli
intermittent fasting to calorie counting alla sorrentina
to low-fat diets, but many doctors
now believe that the key to long-term Carbs
healthy weight loss lies in controlling 13g
Calories
one’s intake of carbohydrate. Most 393

obviously that means cutting out sugar, but

also many of the starchy foods that form a

staple of our diets such as potatoes and pasta.

That was bad news for the chef Giancarlo

Caldesi, who despite eating what he

considered a healthy diet of unprocessed

home-cooked food, was devastated when given

a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes and told he

should embrace a low-carb lifestyle. With

the help of his English wife, Katie, he gave

up bread, pasta and rice – no mean feat for

an Italian – and has since lost 4st and been

in remission for the past eight years. Now

the couple, who run Caldesi in Campagna

restaurant near Bray in Berkshire, have

written The Low Carb Weight-Loss Cookbook,

full of the recipes that helped him achieve it.

Dr David Unwin, who wrote the foreword,

trialled a low-carb diet among patients at

his GP practice nearly ten years ago and has

found it produced significant improvements

in blood pressure, liver function and heart

health. Average weight loss has been 1st 10lb

and he says more than 100 of his patients

have had similar success to Giancarlo in

reversing late-onset diabetes.

The key is to eat healthy protein and fats

such as meat, fish, eggs, dairy and nuts, plus

“a rainbow” of vegetables and berries, but to

restrict carbs to 130g (about half the average

western intake). So it’s goodbye to breakfast

cereals, bread, rice and cakes, and hello to

cauliflower mash. Tony Turnbull

CHICKEN WRAPPED IN BACON 1. Preheat the oven to 220C (240C non-fan). Per serving of swede mash: 2.6g net carbs,
Serves 4 (page 41) Cut each chicken breast into four even-sized 0g fibre, 0.6g protein, 5.6g fat, 60 calories
pieces. Wrap each piece in one rasher of
Per serving: 6.5g net carbs, 2.2g fibre, bacon and put them on a roasting tray. Per serving of pumpkin mash: 6.3g net carbs,
59.3g protein, 42.2g fat, 653 calories Add the onion, mushrooms, red pepper 0.5g fibre, 1.3g protein, 5.6g fat, 74 calories
and herbs to the tray. Scatter over a little
If you don’t have fresh herbs, a sprinkling of seasoning and pour over the oil and vinegar. Per serving of celeriac mash: 7.7g net carbs,
dried oregano or thyme also does the trick. Toss everything together with your hands 1.8g fibre, 1.8g protein, 5.6g fat, 90 calories
and tuck the herbs underneath.
• 4 medium (600g) skinless chicken breasts 2. Cook for 15-20 minutes until the chicken Pumpkin, cauliflower and some root
• 16 thinly cut smoked streaky bacon rashers is cooked through. Scatter over the spinach vegetables, such as celeriac and swede, are
and stir through. Serve straight away. perfect for making mash with a fraction of the
(about 250g) carbs of the potato version. Celeriac mash, for
• 1 onion, roughly sliced into wedges DELICIOUS LOW-CARB MASH example, contains under 8g carbs per serving
• 200g chestnut or other mushrooms, halved compared with potato mash at 24g. As many
• 1 red pepper, cut into strips Serves 4 (page 40) root vegetables are fibrous, a food processor
• 12 sage leaves (optional) or stick blender gives a better creamy texture.
Per serving of sprout mash: 5.4g net carbs, Some veg are more absorbent than others, so
and/or 4 rosemary sprigs 3.8g fibre, 3.6g protein, 5.6g fat, 91 calories you may have to alter the amount of milk you
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper use. To reduce the carbs further, use almond
• 6 tbsp extra virgin olive oil Per serving of cauli mash: 3.3g net carbs, milk or cream instead of cow’s milk.
• 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar 2g fibre, 2.2g protein, 5.6g fat, 73 calories
• 100g baby spinach leaves Continues on page 47

42 The Times Magazine

THE MINI PULLOUT

INDIAN BASICS

Chapati, buttery naan, crispy pakoras – and dal. How to make the easiest dishes

Chapati, page 46
The Times Magazine 43

12

RECIPES
Rohit Ghai

PHOTOGRAPHS
Maya Smend

JEERA ALOO TAREKO ALOO
(POTATOES) (CRISPY FRIED POTATOES)

Serves 4 Serves 4

Jeera aloo is one of the most popular Indian dishes. It’s vegan and easy I love this dish, which I learnt to make in Nepal. Nepali cuisine is
to make using a handful of basic ingredients. robust and flavourful, a blend of Indian and Tibetan influences.

• 500g potatoes • 2 tbsp rapeseed oil • 1 tbsp cumin seeds • 2 green • 2 tsp mustard oil • 1 whole dried red chilli • ¼ tsp carom (ajwain)
chillies, finely chopped • 1 tbsp finely chopped ginger • ½ tsp ground seeds • 2 garlic cloves, chopped • 1 onion, sliced • 1 tomato, deseeded,
chopped • ¼ tsp ground turmeric • ½ tsp ground cinnamon • ½ tsp
turmeric • 1 tbsp ground coriander • ¼ tsp red chilli powder, or to
taste • Generous pinch of asafoetida • 2 tbsp chopped fresh coriander ground cumin • 750g fried potato slices (see below) • 2 tsp lemon
juice • Salt and pepper, to taste • 1 spring onion, chopped
• Salt, to taste • 1 tbsp lemon juice
1. Heat the oil in a pan, then add the dried whole chilli, carom seeds
1. Cook the potatoes in boiling salted water until tender, making sure and garlic. Add the sliced onions and tomatoes and sauté for 2 minutes.
they don’t overcook or break up. Once drained and cooled, peel the 2. Stir in the ground spices. Add the fried potato slices and lemon juice

potatoes and cut them into cubes. Set aside. and cook for another 2 minutes. Season with salt and pepper and
2. Heat the oil in a pan on a medium heat, then add the cumin seeds scatter over the chopped spring onion.
and let them sizzle. Immediately lower the heat so that they don’t burn.
To make fried potatoes
Add the chopped green chillies and ginger, ground spices and Peel the potatoes, parboil for 5 minutes and drain. Slice into wedges
asafoetida, and sauté for a few seconds. about ¼cm thick and, in batches, deep-fry them in oil at 160C until

3. Add the boiled potatoes to the pan and toss with the spices. Let the brown and crispy.
potatoes cook for 2-3 minutes on a medium heat, then mix in the
coriander. Check the seasoning and add the lemon juice to finish.

44 The Times Magazine

INDIAN BASICS

34

ALOO PYAZ MIRCH BHAJIA BUTTER NAAN
(PAKORAS) Makes 8
Serves 4
A naan is a soft, pillowy, folded and triangular-shaped Indian-style
These crispy pakoras are best served with green chutney. flatbread traditionally made in a tandoor. It’s widely available in
supermarkets, but it is even tastier made from scratch.
• 150g onions, finely chopped • 150g potatoes, peeled and chopped
• 2 tbsp chopped ginger • 4 garlic cloves, chopped • 5-6 Padrón chilli This goes really well with any Indian food. I especially like to serve
butter naan with black lentils (see recipe overleaf).
peppers or mild green chillies, deseeded and halved lengthwise
• 5 tbsp gram flour (besan) • 1 tsp carom (ajwain) seeds • 1kg refined white flour or self-raising flour • 1 tsp baking powder
• Pinch of salt • 2 tsp sugar • 1 egg • 240ml milk • 20ml rapeseed oil
• ¼ tsp ground turmeric • ½ tsp red chilli powder • 250ml rapeseed
oil, for deep-frying • ½ tsp chaat masala • 2 tsp butter

1. Put the chopped onions, potatoes, ginger, garlic and green chillies 1. Sift the flour with the baking powder and salt. Add the sugar,
into a medium mixing bowl and add the gram flour, carom seeds, egg and milk and knead well until you have a medium soft dough,
adding a little water if you need it. Rub the dough with a little oil
turmeric and red chilli powder. Mix well with your hands, adding a little
water to coat and bind everything together. and keep it under a damp cloth for 1 hour.
2. Divide the dough into 8 equal-sized balls. Rub each one with a little
2. Heat the oil in a deep pan. Once it’s hot, start dropping in spoonfuls oil, then press first the sides then the centre of each dough ball to give
of the vegetable mixture – you can use your fingertips or a tablespoon. it a round flat shape. Pat it out to about 15cm in diameter. Brush with
Deep-fry the pakoras until golden all over, then drain on kitchen paper. oil and dust with flour, then fold it in half to make a semicircle. Rub

Sprinkle with the chaat masala. with oil and dust with flour again, then fold in half.
3. Roll out with a rolling pin or press with your fingertips, making sure

the edges are properly thinned out. Stretch it on one side to make a
triangular shape.

4. Cook the naan in a preheated oven at 180C (200C non-fan) for
4-5 minutes, or on a griddle, until crisp and lightly browned on both

sides. Serve hot, topped with the butter.

The Times Magazine 45

INDIAN BASICS

56

DAL MAKHANI CHAPATI
Serves 4 Makes 6

One of the most popular dishes, dal makhani is made with whole black Chapati is a type of Indian flat bread made from really simple
lentils and split chana lentils cooked with butter and cream and ingredients – wheat flour, salt and water.
simmered on a low heat for that unique flavour.
• 250g whole wheat or multigrain flour • Pinch of salt
• 100g black lentils (sabut urad) • 25g split chana lentils • 1 tbsp rapeseed oil
• 1 tbsp Kashmiri chilli powder • 1 tbsp ginger and garlic paste
• 50g salted butter • 1 tbsp vegetable oil • 75g tomato puree or 1. Put the flour, salt and oil into a bowl and mix well, then add
75ml warm water and mix well with your hands, adding more water
blended fresh tomatoes • 1 tsp garam masala • Salt, to taste
• 50g double cream • 1 tsp crushed dried fenugreek leaves (up to 150ml) until you have a soft dough. The mixture should be
neither too dry nor too wet.
1. Pick over and wash the black and split chana lentils, then soak
overnight in plenty of cold water. Drain. 2. Divide the dough into 6 equal pieces and roll out each one
to a thickness of 2-3mm.
2. Put the drained lentils into a pan with 750ml water. Add a pinch of
salt and half the Kashmiri chilli powder (you can add half the ginger 3. Heat a pan or griddle until hot, then slide the rolled chapati on to
the hot surface and cook for 1-2 minutes, until it starts to puff up. Flip it
and garlic paste too if you wish) and cook until soft.
3. Heat half the butter and the oil in a pan and add the ginger and over and cook on the other side for 1 minute. n
garlic paste (or the remaining half if you added half to the lentils
earlier) and sauté until golden. Add the tomato puree and sauté on Extracted from Tarkari: Vegetarian and
a high heat. Add the rest of the chilli powder and sauté till the tomato Vegan Indian Dishes with Heart and Soul

is reduced and cooked. by Rohit Ghai (£25, Kyle Books)
4. Add the cooked lentils. If the mixture is too thick, add water,
a little at a time, until it reaches the right consistency. Add the
garam masala and adjust the salt, then simmer on a low heat until

totally soft and well blended.
5. Finish with the rest of the butter, the cream and the fenugreek leaves.

46 The Times Magazine

Low-carb recipes Continued from page 42 Giancarlo’s Tuscan For the classic Italian tomato sauce Eat! LOW CARB
roast chicken thighs (serves 6)
• 400g low-carb vegetables, such as celeriac, • 5 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
pumpkin, swede, Brussels sprouts, Carbs • 1 red onion, finely chopped
cauliflower or broccoli or a mixture 7.6g • 1 garlic clove, lightly crushed
Calories • 1 tsp salt
• 25g butter or extra virgin olive oil, 648 • Freshly ground black pepper
plus extra to serve • 2 x 400g tins of Italian plum tomatoes
CLASSIC ITALIAN TOMATO SAUCE
• 25-75ml cow’s milk, almond milk, WITH BROCCOLI ALLA SORRENTINA For the broccoli alla sorrentina
cream or crème fraîche Serves 2 (page 42) (serves 2)
• 125g mozzarella
• ½ tsp ground nutmeg (optional) Per serving of classic Italian tomato sauce: • 400g broccoli florets
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper 6.9g net carbs, 1.3g fibre, 1.8g protein, 11g fat, • One third quantity of classic
1. Peel and dice the celeriac, pumpkin and/or 139 calories
swede into about 2cm cubes; cut the ends off Per serving of broccoli alla sorrentina with Italian tomato sauce
the sprouts. Cut the cauliflower and broccoli classic Italian tomato sauce: 13g net carbs, • A handful of basil leaves
into small florets and chop the stalks into 6.9g fibre, 22g protein, 26g fat, 393 calories • 15g parmesan or pecorino,
1cm dice. Steam or boil the vegetables, adding This classic baked pasta dish is normally made
the cauliflower and broccoli stalks a minute with potato gnocchi, but we have substituted finely grated
or two before the florets, until just tender. potatoes for broccoli. The tomato sauce
Drain well. contains no sugar, unlike shop-bought sauce. 1. To make the sauce, heat the olive oil
2. Blend the cooked veg with the remaining The sauce recipe serves six and keeps in the in a saucepan over a medium heat and fry
ingredients in a food processor or with a stick fridge for up to five days or can be frozen. The the onion and garlic for 7-10 minutes until
blender until you have a soft, smooth mash. broccoli alla sorrentina serves two, but you softened and translucent. Season with 1 tsp
Season and dot with butter to serve. can double the quantities as necessary. salt and some pepper.
2. Add the tomatoes and rinse out the tins
with a little water, then add this to the pan
too. Bash the tomatoes with a wooden spoon
to break them up. Reduce the heat and
simmer, uncovered, for about 40 minutes.
The sauce should be thick and not watery.
Taste and season as necessary.
3. Tear the mozzarella into about 10 pieces
and put into a sieve over a bowl to get rid
of any water. Cut the broccoli into bite-sized
florets and cook in a pan of boiling salted
water for about 5 minutes until the stalks
are just tender. Drain.
4. Heat the grill to high. Put the broccoli into
an ovenproof dish and pour over the tomato
sauce. Scatter over half the basil leaves, the
mozzarella and parmesan or pecorino. Grill
for 8-10 minutes until the cheese is golden
brown and bubbling. Serve topped with more
basil leaves.

GIANCARLO’S TUSCAN ROAST
CHICKEN THIGHS

Serves 4

Per serving: 7.6g net carbs, 5.7g fibre,
67g protein, 37g fat, 648 calories

This is an all-in-one, easy recipe that can be
left in the oven to cook while you get on with
something else. Alter the vegetables according
to what you have – cubes of pumpkin, swede
or butternut squash add sweetness. Italians
cook chicken such as this for a long time so
that the meat falls from the bones and the
skin crisps to a golden brown.

• 4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• 1 long rosemary sprig

The Times Magazine 47

Sea bass in Mediterranean
acqua pazza sardine bake

Carbs Carbs
6.2g 9.7g
Calories Calories
447 347

• 4 garlic cloves, skin on and lightly crushed This dish is all about cooking the fish quickly MEDITERRANEAN SARDINE BAKE
• 8 small chicken thighs, bone in and skin in water (acqua) that is turned “crazy” (pazza) Serves 4
with the addition of tomatoes, chilli and salt.
on, about 1kg Use the ripest tomatoes you can find. Per serving: 9.7g net carbs, 4.6g fibre,
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper 24.3g protein, 22.9g fat, 347 calories
• 1 aubergine, cut into 3cm cubes • 4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• 2 courgettes, cut into 3cm slices • 2 sea bass or bream fillets, skin on Don’t be put off by tinned fish; they are just
• 8 cherry tomatoes • Salt and freshly ground black pepper as nutritious as their fresh counterparts.
• 1 brown or red onion, cut into 8 wedges • 1 fat garlic clove, finely sliced
• 100ml dry white wine, stock or water • Half a red chilli, depending on • 200g green beans, trimmed,
or courgettes, cut into batons
1. Preheat the oven to 160C (180C non-fan). strength, finely chopped
Drizzle a little of the oil over a roasting • 10 cherry tomatoes, halved • Salt and freshly ground black pepper
tray and lay the rosemary and garlic on • 1 tsp tomato puree • 1 small red pepper, cut into thin strips
the base. Season the chicken thighs all over • 75ml dry white wine • 1 small onion, finely sliced, or 3 spring
with salt and pepper and put them on top, • 1 thyme sprig or ½ tsp dried
skin-side up. Arrange the vegetables around onions, finely sliced
the chicken and season. Pour the rest of the thyme (optional) • 4 tins (84g drained weight per tin)
oil over the chicken and vegetables and roast • A handful of flat-leaf parsley,
for 30 minutes. sardines or mackerel, drained
2. Remove the tray from the oven and baste roughly chopped • 8 cherry tomatoes, halved
the chicken and vegetables with the cooking • 1 tbsp capers, rinsed (optional)
juices. Pour the wine around the chicken but 1. Heat half the oil in a large frying pan over • 1 fat garlic clove, finely sliced
not over the crispy skin. a medium heat. Season the fish all over with • 4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil (from
3. Return the chicken to the oven and roast salt and a little pepper. Fry the fish fillets for
for a further 20-30 minutes until cooked about 5 minutes, skin-side down, until the skin the sardine tins or a bottle)
through. Serve with the juices from the pan is crisp. Transfer the fish to a warm plate and • 1 tsp dried oregano
poured over the chicken. set aside; discard the oil from the pan. • A pinch of chilli flakes or a little fresh
2. Add the remaining 2 tbsp oil to the pan and
SEA BASS IN ACQUA PAZZA fry the garlic, chilli and tomatoes for 1 minute, chilli, finely chopped (optional)
making sure that the garlic doesn’t burn.
Serves 2 3. Add the tomato puree, wine, 75ml just- 1. Preheat the oven to 180C (200C non-fan).
boiled water, thyme and parsley and bring Cook the green beans or courgettes in boiling
Per serving: 6.2g net carbs, 2.2g fibre, to the boil. Allow it to boil like crazy until salted water for about 5 minutes until just
19g protein, 34g fat, 447 calories the liquor reduces by half – this should tender. Drain and set aside.
take about 5 minutes. Return the fish to 2. Assemble the beans or courgettes, red
the pan, skin-side up, and cook in the sauce pepper, onion, sardines, tomatoes, capers, if
for 2 minutes. Serve. using, and garlic in a large, ovenproof dish.
Tuck the sardines between the beans and push
the garlic into the vegetables so that it doesn’t

48 The Times Magazine

Per serving with dates: (see intro if you prefer to make a larger, Eat! LOW CARB
15.1g net carbs, 3.5g fibre, shallower cake).
4.7g protein, 19g fat, 256 calories 2. If using the dates, soak them in 150ml
With erythritol: just-boiled water for a few minutes, then
4.2g net carbs, 2.4g fibre, mash them to a pulp with a fork or use a
4.4g protein, 19g fat, 212 calories stick blender. If using erythritol, dissolve
it in 100ml just-boiled water in a small
Carbs saucepan over a medium-high heat.
4.2g Set aside.
Calories 3. Melt together the chocolate and
212 125g butter in a bain-marie (a glass
or metal bowl set over, but not touching,
hot water in a saucepan over a medium
heat) or in a small bowl in the
microwave. Set aside to cool.
4. Separate the eggs into 2 mixing bowls.
Add the date or erythritol mixture to the
egg yolks and stir through with a hand
whisk or large spoon. Then add the
chocolate mixture to the egg yolks and
stir again to combine.
5. Whip the egg whites until just firm
enough to stand in peaks. Use a large
metal spoon to fold the egg whites
into the chocolate mixture. Pour into
the prepared cake tin and smooth the
surface. Bake for 30-35 minutes. It is
ready when the crust feels firm but
there should be a slight wobble to
it; it will continue setting as it cools.
Remove from the oven and leave to cool
to room temperature before removing
from the tin.
6. Serve the cake at room temperature
or put it into the fridge once cool, where
it will keep for a couple of days. Note:
the cake is quite fragile. n

burn. Drizzle over the oil, then scatter over without the sickly sweet taste. If you prefer Extracted from The
the oregano, chilli and some salt and pepper. a slightly wider, shallower cake, you can use a Low Carb Weight-
3. Bake for 30 minutes until the onions are 24cm cake tin and cook for 5 minutes less in Loss Cookbook by
starting to brown and the tomatoes have the oven. It can be eaten in small squares like
softened. Serve. a brownie with soured cream or Greek yoghurt. Katie and Giancarlo
Caldesi, published
STEFANO’S SQUIDGY • 125g butter, plus extra for greasing by Kyle Books on
CHOCOLATE MOUSSE CAKE • 8 Medjool dates, stoned and roughly March 3 (£20)
Serves 12
chopped, or 100g erythritol (sugar substitute) The Times Magazine 49
Warning: this cake is addictive. It’s nut-free, • 200g dark chocolate (at least
sugar-free, flourless – and uses dates or sugar
substitute to achieve the same mousse-like 85% cocoa solids)
texture of a shop-bought chocolate cake • 6 eggs

1. Preheat the oven to 170C (190C non-fan) and
grease a 20cm high-sided, spring-form cake tin

oPeration reD Meat VLOEGOAKNASWAY!

That’s Veganuary (almost) done – so here’s something for carnivores to get their teeth into

I t sometimes feels like the
traffic is all one way towards
veganism these days, so let’s
hear it for the meat eaters.
Sales of beef, lamb and pork
were actually up last year
– by about 12 per cent – so
you are not alone in your love of a
traditional Sunday roast or plate of
sausages and mash. Here Jane and
Jimmy Barnes, the “first couple of
Australian rock’n’roll” who spent
lockdown in the kitchen instead
of on the road, share four of their
favourite red-blooded meals, from
a slow-roasted shoulder of lamb to a
breakfast pan of campfire ham and
eggs. Proof, if you will, that meat is
the new rock’n’roll. Tony Turnbull

GRILLED LAMB CUTLETS
WITH BROWN SUGAR
CARROTS
Serves 4

This is a quick and easy meal.
Ask your butcher to French trim
the cutlets as they look the best.

• 2 carrots
• 80g butter
• 1 heaped tbsp brown sugar
• 12 French-trimmed

lamb cutlets
• Extra virgin olive oil and

sea salt, to serve
• Mashed potatoes, to serve

1. Peel the carrots and cut into
rough rods the size of your little
finger. Boil in well-salted water
for about 10 minutes or until soft.
2. Drain the carrots and return
to the pot. Add the butter and
brown sugar straight away so
they melt through the carrots.
Keep warm.
3. Meanwhile, heat up a chargrill
pan until it’s smoking. Sear the
cutlets for 1½-2 minutes on each

50 The Times Magazine