Khuluma December 2017

SOUNDS FROM THE UNDERGROUND TRAVEL

BREAKING BEATS voxes – ghost calls that sound like memories of hero-worshipping a ten-
aspirated shouts. Any vocalisations tend to year-old kwaito producer whose album
Drawing on elements of various be brief and the emphasis is on the effect went platinum. ‘I was probably five and I
genres – deep house, tribal house, created by how they’re said rather than remember wanting to be like him. He was
kwaito, hip hop – gqom is a style of what’s said – phrases and words taken from my neighbourhood and he was like
house music that emerged somewhere from conversations, chants, and even the king.’
around 2009, most prominently in the snippets of modernised African nursery
townships of Durban, and has in the rhymes might be sampled. Lwazi’s path to producing music was
last year begun taking international through dance. ‘We were a crew of five
dance oors by storm. e name Gqom is decidedly a product of a dancers. We did a Durban style of pantsula
derives from a Zulu word referring to younger generation’s dance habits, and the called “bang” and we’d dance at township
the rhythmic, persistent thud or moan aim of gqom is expressly to induce dancing shows and rallies and events like Miss
that onomatopoeically describes the – it’s hypnotic, repetitive, and instantly Clermont. That’s how I fell in love
sound made when grinding maize – it strikes you as being ‘all drums, zero treble’. with music.’
is equally suggestive of the beat of It’s that simple.
a drum. ‘My cousin was a rapper and wanted me
Gqom’s global in ltration has largely The predecessors of the sound are to make beats for him, so he got me the
been thanks to the mad deck skills outfits like Naked Boys, Rude Boyz, DJ Fruity Loops software and I taught myself
of DJ Lag, a 22-year-old self-taught KB and Distruction Boyz, but leading the to produce. That was 2010 and I was 15.’
producer who has been taking his charge in recent years, and currently
feverishly danceable tracks to clubs in guiding gqom’s global expansion is Lwazi Lwazi quickly outgrew his cousin’s
the world’s party capitals. Asanda Gwala, a young producer-DJ hip-hop and found himself experimenting
While it’s a mashup of existing styles, who catapulted out of nowhere and to create a sound that he resonated with.
the resulting sound is distinctive, landed himself the title ‘King of Gqom’. ‘I shifted my style and got into house
de ned by a haunting minimalism He’s self-taught, goes by the moniker DJ music and a few dance groups asked me
and the dark, repetitive beats that Lag and even after more than a year of to produce tracks for them to perform
are produced. international gigs still seems wide-eyed at to. That’s how I got into gqom – I started
‘ e tracks are rarely planned,’ says the unexpected momentum of his rise to producing beats for people to dance to.’
Lwazi, who has emerged as the genre’s music glory.
driving force. ‘I get a buzz to throw The first track he made that became
down a track and I just do it. I go It all happened by accident, he says. He popular was called ‘Crash’. He says that
to the computer without any idea, had no specific aspirations of becoming he made it in an attempt to emulate the
but when I get to the laptop, I know a DJ, although he does have childhood sound of a song by the Naked Boys, who
something is going to come up. I know might be considered gqom’s earliest
that when I start working the sound
will emerge. It starts with a kick, and
once I have the drum kick in place, the
rest will ow.’ He adds synthetically-
created sounds and recorded clips
into the mix, uses downloaded synth
plugins, and adds delay and reverb
to esh a track out. e nal result
is minimalist, high on energy, and
bass-heavy.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 101

TRAVEL SOUNDS FROM THE UNDERGROUND originators. ‘They do a style of music
called Sgubhu, which is similar to gqom,’
That’s how I got into gqom says Lwazi. ‘They were the first guys
– I started producing beats for to make a track that was house music
people to dance to. with broken beats. So I tried to create
something similar, but inadvertently did
something else.’ Lwazi’s experiments
involved a mash-up of house and hip-hop,
and by happy accident his patterning
resulted in the gqom sound.

‘Gqom is ultimately a mixture of
different genres,’ he explains. ‘Maybe
three different genres in one track – a
bit of hip-hop, a bit of house, a bit of
traditional music, with a lot of drumming.
We call it “broken beats”. It’s as simple
as that.’

And perhaps its simplicity is the key.
Like the rave anthems of the 1990s,
psychedelic trance and the rhythmic
drumming of the Khoisan people, it’s music
that lures you into a tripped out state,
a shortcut into a trancelike euphoria.

102 DECEMBER 2017 kulula.com





SOUNDS FROM THE UNDERGROUND TRAVEL

DJ LAG’S DURBAN

CLUB Uhuru was the rst club
I ever performed in; it’s in my
neighbourhood – in Clermont.
It’s a two-level club, with a
restaurant upstairs and a large
dance oor below. Zazi Road,
073 463 2182

Gqom is about creating an escape. Its BEACH In December, I like
function is to make you dance and Virginia Beach – it’s really
forget your problems. chilled and not too crowded.

Photographs: Ysanya Perez, Jonathan Ferreira, Tyrone Bradley, Krisanne Johnson / all Red Bull Content Pool, Kent Andreasen And yet there is something more, This rule-bending aspect is significant, RESTAURANT In Clermont
something edgier – some have alluded because it seems that the genre is there’s Tate’s Kasi Grill, it’s a shis’
to gqom’s apocalyptic quality. A lot of overwhelming part of a youth movement nyama and the best place to
this has to do with the so-called ‘ghost that includes an element of cultural hang out in summer for a meal
calls’ that can be found in a lot of Lwazi’s rebellion. Lwazi says gqom’s emergence and drinks. 121 Zazi Road, 082
music. Combined with the jerky rhythms, was in the face of feeling alienated by 833 1810
drones and industrial sounds, hissing deep house music – because it is too slow.
steam, warrior ululations, and marching ‘Gqom is all about a sound that matches PARTY My idea of a great year-
beats, these ghostly chants add a haunting how we dance and move,’ he says. end celebration is Fact Durban
quality to the stripped back minimalism. Rocks. It’s a huge event that
In its early days, in fact, there was happens in July and on NYE. It’s
The main thing, though, affirms Lwazi, is widespread sentiment that gqom was too at People’s Park, outside Moses
that gqom is about creating an escape. Its rough, too raw – major house producers Mabhida Stadium and this year
function is to make you dance and forget outright rejected it and radio stations features the likes of Black Co ee,
your problems. If that isn’t achieved, then refused to play it. But in clubs and in taxis, Cassper Nyovest and gqom
the song has failed – it isn’t gqom. it flourished. And Lwazi says that it is only stalwarts Distruction Boyz – it’s
when Okmalumkoolkat started rapping to hosted by DJ Tira. 31 December,
KingIce, who is one half of the Naked gqom tracks, that it suddenly penetrated factdurbanrocks.com
Boys, says gqom is more complex than the mainstream and made its way onto
people assume, and that it is incorporate elements of traditional music,
predicated not simply the airwaves. such as maskandi, in gqom, too.’
on the synthesis of As much as the music is
broken beats and a rebellion against the Now that sound is creating quite a stir
drums, but on established house scene, internationally. Not only has Lwazi spent
a layering and it has its roots in tradition, the last year performing in clubs and at
rhythm that too. ‘Durban's secret is the festivals across the northern hemisphere,
consciously culture,’ says Lwazi. ‘We but the next DJ Lag EP is being released
smashes Durbanites are proud of by a London record label in March.
existing house our culture and we express
music rules. that in our music. We ‘Overseas, they tell me gqom is the
“new age techno”,’ says Lwazi. ‘They hear
it, they dance to it, they go crazy.’

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 105





TRAVEL THE COAST WITH THE MOST

seasideI DO LIKE TO BE BESIDE THE
Mzansi’s coast stretches for over 2 500 km, spanning two oceans,
two conflicting currents, an endless succession of marvellous
beaches, and wondrous seaside towns and beautiful cities. It’s a
coastline studded with enchantment and scenic delights – plus
a few distinctly South African sights and sounds to charm even
those squeamish about the water.

108 DECEMBER 2017 kulula.com

THE COAST WITH THE MOST TRAVEL

SEASIDE PHOTO OPS: ART VS. ATROCITY

Durban’s inimitable, unpretentious prop in Cape Town. Much criticised
sand-sculptors fashion weird and and vandalised, the two and a half
wonderful scenes from wet beach sand metre tall stainless steel sculpture of
creating impermanent artworks in lieu a pair of Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses
of sandcastles, and survive off tips. It’s a was created by artist Michael Ellion,
unique form of artistic entrepreneurship although the concept is hardly unique –
resulting in everything from Madiba Swiss artist, Marc Moser, created giant
tributes to renderings of African wildlife rose-tinted spectacles called Sea Pink
and scale reproductions of the nearby back in 2011 (versions of his sunglasses
Moses Mabhida Stadium. For a small have really done the rounds and are
donation, they let passersby create currently installed in the Danish town
photographic keepsakes of their one-of- of Aarhus, 2017’s European Capital
a-kind rustic sculptures. of Culture). Nonetheless, back in Sea
Meanwhile, on the grass Point, on any given day, passersby can
common alongside the be seen climbing onto the controversial
Sea Point Promenade,
Perceiving Freedom has sculpture while someone
during its three-year stands with their back to
existence become the sea immortalising the
probably the most moment. It’s also turned
popular seaside photo out to be a pretty nifty
jungle gym.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 109

TRAVEL THE COAST WITH THE MOST

THE UNEXPECTED We humans tend to associate apes and monkeys with
BEACHCOMBERS jungles and forests and seldom connect our closest relatives with the
ocean. ‘Cape Chacma baboons have inhabited the Western Cape for over
Tracing their genetic bloodline to a million years,’ says Kathy Kelly of Baboon Matters Trust (baboonmatters.org.za). ‘Their
a hardy hybrid that’s resulted from natural habitat includes our beaches, where they forage for mussels and other aquatic life.
centuries of evolutionary selection, It’s very unique behaviour for primates.’ Although regularly spotted in tourist hotspots such
Nguni cows have been revered in as at Cape Point, the Cape Peninsula’s baboon population has whittled down to a mere
southern Africa for generations, 11 troops. ‘In spite of their rightful place in our natural heritage, intensive agriculture and
cherished as symbols of wealth and ongoing urbanisation has brought them into increasing conflict with humans, which is often
prestige in traditional amaXhosa, fatal for baboons,’ says Kelly, whose organisation disseminates information on coexisting
amaZulu and emaSwati culture, and with baboons, and emphasises that ‘a fed baboon is a dead baboon – feeding them can
treasured as spiritual interlocutors, cause problem or aggressive behaviour, which can lead to their removal by authorities.’
while their patterned hides have
spawned a poetry of praise-naming
based on metaphoric associations
with natural phenomena. Along
the Wild Coast it’s common to spot
free-roaming cows, grazing where
they like and chewing the cud while
basking on the beach. No-one can
quite say for sure why these super-
independent cows love being on
the beach, but it’s safe to assume
that it’s a clever way of harvesting
salt that they ingest by licking
themselves and which they require

as part of their diet and for
milk production. Nguni
cattle are recognised
for their intelligence
and independence, and
are seemingly capable

weather-forecasters, too –
you’ll know for certain that
a storm is inbound when you see
them making a sudden, swift dash
from the beach.

110 DECEMBER 2017 kulula.com





THE COAST WITH THE MOST TRAVEL

TWO TIMELESS OFF- Just outside the seasonal
THE-GRID SEASIDE Postberg flower reserve, and
VILLAGES marked by the Anglican Church
of St Peter at Stofbergfontein, the
Nqileni sits somewhere just time-trapped hamlet of Churchhaven
beyond the edge of the known was founded in 1863 by a deserter
world, after veering off the N2 and from an American merchant ship.
then plotting a course through Once a little whaling community,
donga-filled roads that twist it’s seldom mentioned on maps,
and turn through the faraway and maintains a stoic presence
Wild Coast countryside. As in a remote, isolated part of the
lagoon. Besides the church and its
the crow flies, big bell, the restored whitewashed
it’s not too far cottages make do without any
from well-known facilities whatsoever – there’s no
Coffee Bay, but seems grid electricity or running water, and
many light years from even the road running past it has
civilisation – a humble closed to traffic. With weathered
amaXhosa village where wood and bits of rope and maritime
oldies sit outside shebeen flotsam gathered on their sun-stained
huts gossiping over homemade beer verandas, most of the cottages
and relishing the mesmeric green of are maintained as shabby-chic
the rolling hills that tumble towards self-catering rentals, perfect
the river that languidly spills into for idling away days spent
the sea. Far from disconnected, the listening to the therapeutic
community here owns an award- lap of water against the
winning eco-backpackers set on the shore; book these through
river estuary behind a dune forest and perfecthideaways.co.za.
within stumbling distance of a wild,
wondrous stretch of untamed beach Churchhaven is seldom mentioned on
dotted with whale bones, donkeys maps and maintains a stoic presence in
and sunbathing cows. The lodge a remote, isolated part of the lagoon
relies on solar power for electricity
and has hot water ‘rocket showers’ in
its communal bathroom. Along with
good company, villagers offer canoe
trips up the Xhora River and horse
trails along the beach and up along
the river onto hills overlooking the
village and the ocean. bulungula.com

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 113

TRAVEL THE COAST WITH THE MOST

A PAIR OF OLD FOGIES Words: Keith Bain, Photographs: South African Tourism, Supplied, Ev Thomas/shutterstock.com,
Maslowski Marcin/shutterstock.com, lcswart/shutterstock.com, Hannes Thirion/shutterstock.com,
Completed in 1824, Green Point Quality Master/shutterstock.com
Lighthouse in Mouille Point is South
Africa’s oldest surviving lighthouse Marking Africa’s bottommost tip, Cape Agulhas – literally ‘Cape of the
and source of ‘Moaning Minnie’ – the Needles’ – is notorious for its winter storms and 30 metre freak waves that
contentious foghorn that’s been letting out have helped sink countless ships. A boardwalk leads to the cairn marking
its three-second bovine bass-drone during the point where the Indian and Atlantic oceans meet – the lighthouse,
heavy mists since 1926. Even before the though, is some distance away, slightly east of the official East-West divide.
foghorn was installed, it drew protest Built in 1848, it was South Africa’s third lighthouse, and – after Green
letters, and in the 1970s, the lighthouse Point – the second-oldest still in operation, having gone through various
keeper received at least one telephonic phases: a fire fuelled by sheep’s tail fat burned until 1905, then its light
death threat from an irate local driven mad came from an oil-burning lantern, a petroleum vapour burner, and, from
by the ceaseless moans. 1936, a four-kilowatt electric lamp powered by a diesel generator. It was
decommissioned in 1968 because its sandstone walls were crumbling, but
re-entered service in 1988 after extensive repairs.

114 DEECMBER 2017 kulula.com



Thirstland
Road trips can be cathartic, especially when you’re
in the desert with no spare water for miles,
writes Clifford Roberts.

116 DECEMBER 2017 kulula.com

pictures: xxxxxxx DESERT WONDER TRAVEL

I ’m driving on a desert road. Self-
contained, insulated from the world
outside. Circumstances have led
me to do this leg alone. For some reason,
I give in to the urge to stop. There’s no
trace of visible life on the other side of the
windscreen, bar the ribbon of white gravel
ahead and behind me. I open the door and
step into a vacuum. The noise of the cabin
is gone, now replaced only by the slow tick
of the hot engine.

This is Namibia, but it could be
anywhere that’s far from everywhere else
– the isolation in this vacant landscape is
intense, all-consuming. I have water on
my mind because it’s impossible not to
dwell on the thing that isn’t here. Aside
from the dryness around me, there are the
drought-imposed restrictions back home;
the constant subconscious reminders that
it’s the absolute last thing I can forget on
any excursion; and, the plastic empties
rattling under the seat. Now, every first
sip at every new overnight stop brings the
briefest pause as I taste and savour, like
rolling a pebble on my tongue. Water can
taste so different, y’know?

Back in the car, The National’s lead
singer Matt Berninger croons: ‘Today, you
were far away and I didn’t ask you why. /
What could I say? I was far away. / You just
walked away and I watched you. /
What could I say? How close am I to
losing you?’

Indeed, I think.
The trip involves driving
north from Windhoek to Etosha,
westwards to Damaraland, then
towards the coast to Swakopmund
and south to Sossusvlei. From
there, back to the start
via Mariental.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 117

TRAVEL DESERT WONDER It’s the need for water that makes us
stop in Uis, a small settlement in the
This page, top Erongo region where there used to be a
to bottom: From above, tin mine. It was near here that an elderly
Namibia's Skeleton Coast looks couple of German tourists got lost, ran out
like a work of art; an abandoned of fuel and perished a few years ago.
VW Beetle languishes alongside
a windmill in the desert; animals The town is a grid of narrow streets
make the most of a waterhole and little square houses. Gardens with
in Etosha National Park. sand for lawn are adorned with rocks
Previous page: Part of Namibia's and thick-stemmed desert plants. Others
have recycled bottles and tyres as
thrill is the existence decorations. Pinned to the noticeboard
of seemingly endless, at the convenience store is an outdated
timetable for the weekly truck delivery of
empty desert. Uis’s drinking water.

The journey is defined by two distinctly Later the same day, we check into a
separate experiences – destinations, one modern hotel in Swakopmund and the
thing; the roads between, another. There’s challenges of life in the desert fade. A
the arrival at the edge of Etosha Pan for newspaper article tells of visiting Texans,
the first time and the picture of silhouettes here to share ideas on water conservation
diced by the heat of a flat, white horizon; and their preference for water
the Salvador Dali telephone poles buckling preservation over water creation.
in the haze and the occasional car wreck
marking the road to Henties Bay; the Somehow, water’s apparent
airborne view of vast flatlands that ubiquity in the urban, landscaped
merge with the soft curves of the Namib’s setting just makes it even more
massive red dunes; and, lone wooden invisible. Cool sea mists drawn
relics of 19th-century diamond camps inland are incongruent with
incapable of rotting away in the dry air, like the scarcity of the resource,
ghosts trapped in purgatory. in spite of a little note in
the room that urges you
‘There’s water. You just have to dig for to re-use your bathroom
it,’ says Jaap Smith, our guide on a drive towel. I can’t shake the
along the sandy bed of the Huab River that unease as I stand in the
winds like a python through the hills of shower, feeling the water
Damaraland. The last time the river flowed run over my skin. I think
here was eight years ago, but the plants of those newcomers to this
along the banks and in the river course land who were ill-prepared for
are tinged with the greenery of life. We the reality of life without water:
occasionally come across a pit where oryx genocidal German colonialists,
have scraped for tell-tale mud. Life here early explorers, prospectors.
has deep roots or knows how to dig.
kulula.com
118 DECEMBER 2017





DESERT WONDER TRAVEL

Clockwise,
from top left: The
writer strikes camp
alongside ancient rock
formations; flamingoes in
Etosha National Park;
Dead Valley at dusk;
a cheetah in Etosha.

Of the so-called Dorsland (thirst-land) rising to 479 mm nature. The last time
migrant boers of the 19th century who two years later, but water flowed here was
sought a haven in this wilderness, Czech decline steadily to last in 1997. It was a raging
explorer Dr Emil Holub wrote: ‘Such was year’s dismal tally of flood that broke the banks,
the end of the undertaking by a party just 68 mm. For 2017, the submerging the canyon in its
of headstrong men, who, in ignorant devoted observer has taken entirety for a few days as the sky
opposition to reform, and from the motives to marking the passing of individual shattered and fell into the land.
of political ill feeling, rushed with open months whenever a few drops fall, the It’s in a pensive mood that a quiet
eyes to the destruction that awaited them.’ scrawl speaking of incessant weight secondary road brings us to our next
and wait. arrival in the district of Mariental.
I read that and make sure there are a Suddenly, the air is different. It’s barely
couple of extra litres in the car for the long It’s almost inconceivable how this perceptible, but the sweet moisture
road to Sossusvlei. landscape owes its appearance in large is unmistakable after days of hot, dry
part to water, in fact, along with wind and dustiness. Low, faded scrub gives way to
At another small dot on the map deep geological turbulence, and the cultivated lands of clumpy chocolate
called Solitaire, made famous by its great violence with which it invades soil. One row stands out; a mirror of
desert bakery’s apple crumble, I come all the usual tranquillity of the reflected sky between two neatly
across another unsettling water-related Namibian space. ploughed ridges. The decadent
public notice: annual rainfall figures. The contrast of flood irrigation after
statistics begin at 2009 with 223 mm, When we get out of the car at days of dry land and sharp, white
Namib-Naukluft National Park, I sunlight hits me unexpectedly.
struggle to discern the Sesriem Canyon A flock of white egrets hops
from the arid, rocky surroundings at around in the mud and, a short
first, but just a few metres away a way away, a lone farmer
pathway drops 30 metres between spreads sloppy water with
the upright, labyrinthine walls of his spade. I switch off the
the canyon sides. It’s a dramatic car’s air-conditioner and
and often-visited scar that is
testament to the violence of

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 121

TRAVEL DESERT WONDER

Top to
bottom: Zebra drink
at an Etosha waterhole;
giraffes at Etosha's
Rietfontein waterhole;
Epupa Falls on the border

between Namiba
and Angola.

wind down the window. More fields appear, time. Photographs and the plants at the Pictures: Galyna Andrushko/shutterstock.com, Radek Borovka/shutterstock.com, ingehogenbijl/
then a farmyard full of implements Botanical Garden are the only reminder shutterstock.com, LMspencer/shutterstock.com, GuilhermeMesquita/shutterstock.com, francesco
and large, heavy-tyred vehicles. A sign of the wilderness we’ve just come from. de marco/shutterstock.com, matthieu Gallet/shutterstock.com, paula french/shutterstock.com,
declares this a ‘SuperFarm’, cows rest The aloes in the garden are all dead, their maramade/shutterstock.com, Efimova Anna/shutterstock.com, grop/shutterstock.com
under shade cloth, and 100 metres seeds apparently dormant. The water
down the road is the turn-off to the table hasn’t recovered from the
local abattoir. past drought.

Mariental is home to Namibia’s largest Again, the wait.
water reservoir, Hardap Dam. Popping ‘You should see the
in for some tourist information at the flowers in the Namib
local municipality, I suspect the fact is a after the rains,’ says
the optimistic owner of
comfort to the gardener who keeps the 4x4 rental agency
the sprinklers running at midday on a when we drop off the
patch of lawn below the flagpoles. vehicle. ‘Windhoek had
water restrictions last
We are the only visitors at year. We were all showering
the dam the next day and in buckets and such, but it’s
sit alone on the restaurant back to normal now. Everyone has
terrace overlooking the already forgotten.’
expanse of grey-green It’s a short flight back to South Africa
water. Small islands break and late when we get back to our
the surface while the dam wall suburban house. In the dim light flooding
brings a sobering interruption to the backdoor, I note that in spite of our own
its alluring, organic appearance. drought, everything in the garden seems to
In the distance, a pelican drifts have hung on. Clung to life, somehow. The
quietly, a heron flies by, then a desert is the last thing on my mind.
pair of Egyptian geese. I open a tap and drink from the pool in
So much water, yet so my hand. The water is cool and sweeter
desperately little. than ever.
Back in Windhoek at the end of it
all, we explore the city to pass the

122 DECEMBER 2017 kulula.com









YOU SCREAM, I SCREAM TRAVEL

ICEAWCARREDASMSUMMERTIME’S HOTTEST

Pictures: Supplied Remember when eating ice cream was a simple vanilla,strawberry
or chocolate choice? And fancy meant adding a flake? Not
anymore. South Africa now has a plethora of contemporary

and gourmet ice cream establishments. Whether it’s organic,
cryogenic or vegan that suits your foodie foibles, there is an ice
cream to match the mood. With choice comes confusion. Even
the most discriminating ice cream eaters are becoming dazed and
disorientated. In order to give you the inside scoop, Anna Trapido
has selected the best, the most outrageous, the creamiest and the

iciest that you need to get your hands on right now.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 127

THE SACRILEGIOUS
SOFT SERVE AWARD

Eish Kream, Durban

We all scream for ice cream but the jury is out as to whether we should scream out
against the hipster tendency to repurpose junk food. Durban’s Eish Kream spaghetti
soft serve comes out of a super sexy machine as squiggle shaped sweetness in cool
flavours including café latte and Nutella. eishkream.co.za

THE ICEMAN COMETH AWARD THE MRS THATCHER
CLASSIC SOFT SERVE
The Soft Machine, Cape Town AWARD
The definition of an intellectual is surely someone who thinks of Tudor folk music
rather than the ice cream truck when they hear ‘Greensleeves’. Admit it – almost Casbah Roadhouse, Brakpan
all of us have a Pavlovian response to the tune. The chaps at Soft Machine Legend has it that as a young chemist in
send out organic, soft serve ice cream in very delicious but indisputably the 1950s, the future UK Prime Minister
posh-nosh flavours (think milk tart with cinnamon spice snaps) Margaret Thatcher was part of the team at
from a vehicle that looks like an ice cream truck conceived by Dairy Queen Laboratories that developed
Martha Stewart. thesoftmachine.co.za methods for pumping air into sweetened
milk thus creating Mr Whippy Soft Serve.
Culinary killjoys observe that there were
already soft serve ice cream machines in
the USA in the 1940s. Even if it’s not
true, what a metaphor for the
‘free’ market: getting us to pay
for air! Whatever you think of
the Iron Lady’s politics, only
those incapable of joy dislike
the aerated, minimally-
nutritious confection that is
classic soft serve.

Best enjoyed without irony
and in a classic polystyrene
textured cone at Brakpan’s
Casbah Roadhouse.
casbahroadhouse.co.za

128 DECEMBER 2017 kulula.com

YOU SCREAM, I SCREAM TRAVEL

HONOURABLE
MENTION

Those seeking succour in
classic flavours should head
for Fusion Specialty Store in
Grahamstown, where chef Virginia
Engelbrecht makes the smoothest,
creamiest, old-school ice cream
imaginable. All ingredients are
organic, additive free and locally-
sourced for added comfort.

fusion-foods.co.za

THE GELATO GEM AWARD

La Cremosa, Maboneng, Joburg
Gelato is not simply the Italian word for ice cream. Gelato has a lower percentage of
buttercream than ice cream and is served slightly warmer so flavours are more immediate
and intense. It also has less air churned into it giving it a denser, richer mouth feel. At
La Cremosa, Mauro Benedetti and Sandro Tomassetti are real Romans serving the real
deal. Their amarena black cherry ice cream is pefect. gelatolacremosa.com

THE BRIDGET JONES HONOURABLE
AWARD FOR EMOTIONAL MENTION
ICE CREAM EATING
The Nutella Fluff flavour
Hartford House Hotel, Mooi River, KZN liquid nitrogen frozen ice
Feeling blue? Neuroscientists at London’s cream at the Musgrave
Institute of Psychiatry recently used Rooftop Night Market’s 312
magnetic resonance imaging to show
that a spoonful of ice cream lights up Below Zero in Durban.
312belowzero.com
the same pleasure centre in the
orbitofrontal cortex of the brain THE EMPEROR NERO AWARD FOR ICE
as winning money or listening CREAM INNOVATION
to your favourite music. Early
morning ice cream is always Nitrocreamy, Cape Town.
cheering. Add in a touch of Ancient Emperor Nero frequently ordered slaves to schlep ice and snow from
Mzansi childhood nostalgia the Alps to Rome where it was combined with fruit toppings to create a sort of
and happiness is guaranteed. sorbet. Think how happy Nero’s ice-fetching slaves would have been if Cape Town’s
Nitrocreamy had staged one of its legendary pop-ups in 37 AD – light-weight liquid
At Hartford House Hotel, the nitrogen is used to chill the ice cream. Think flavours such as lemon and cardamom
breakfast menu includes stewed fruit or honeycomb and roasted almond. Relative to old school techniques, the ingredients
topped with Maltabella (sorghum porridge) are frozen so fast that smaller ice crystals form, resulting in a super-smooth texture.
ice cream. Chef Constantijn nitrocreamy.co.za
Hahndiek also does a
damn fine goat’s milk
ice cream for those
in need of lactose-
intolerant love.
hartford.co.za

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 129



YOU SCREAM, I SCREAM TRAVEL

HONOURABLE
MENTION

The popcorn cream with
torched marshmallows and
honeycomb from Pete’s Super

Natural Ice Cream, which
is available at the Organic
Emporium in Bryanston,

Joburg. facebook.com/
PetesNatural

THE 57 CHANNELS AND ALWAYS
SOMETHING ON AWARD

WhiskAway, Pretoria
Karien van Emmenes’s plentiful range of unique flavours really taste of what it
says on the label. The apple pie ice cream is completely convincing, the Espresso
Banting is deliciously dark. The cashew caramel flavour could be no other nut.
Ice cream addicts will find WhiskAway at the Hazel Food Market in Pretoria every
Saturday. whiskawayicecream.co.za

THE CHILDPROOF HONOURABLE
AWARD
MENTION
Kyoto Garden Sushi,
Cape Town The utterly addictive
White Anglo Saxon turmeric ice cream
Protestants tend to think of
ice cream as super sweet at Unframed Ice
kiddie cuisine. But why Cream, Cape Town.
waste the good stuff on
youth? Kyoto Garden Sushi unframed.co.za
serves superb, subtle and
Pictures: Avian/shutterstock.com, szefei/shutterstock.com, THE TASTE WHAT YOU gorgeously grown up green
Ekaterina Garyuk/shutterstock.com, Supplied TWEET AWARD tea ice cream, toasted tofu
with ginger ice cream and
Cold Gold, Stellenbosch black sesame ice cream.
Made from activated charcoal, black ice kyotogardensushict.com
cream is the Instagrammable eat du jour.
Those wishing to taste what they tweet
can find it at Cold Gold in Stellenbosch
where the activated charcoal liquorice
ice cream is selling like hot cakes. Be
warned there can be side effects to being
extremely cool – some doctors say that
activated charcoal can absorb medication
(such as birth control pills), making the
drugs ineffective. coldgold.co.za

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 131



DO THE SUMMERTIME SHIMMY TRAVEL

Tune!pictures: 31moonlight31/shutterstock.com, supplied
Mzansi’s two biggest dance music
acts now spend more time on foreign
shores than they do at home, but both
are back in South Africa for a string of
summertime gigs.

NO SUGAR REQUIRED

Black Coffee tells us about his musical
roots and his love of Africa.
Although I was born in Durban, I grew up
in Mthatha in the former Transkei. That’s
where I fell in love with soul music. When
I was young, one of my neighbours played
his records so loudly that eventually I knew
all his songs, word for word. One of the
records he’d play was Curtis Mayfield, the
great soul, funk, and R&B singer, and that
made a deep impression. I also recall my
uncle playing Peter Tosh for us when I was
very young – that has to be my earliest and
fondest musical memory.

I still have a big connection with the
former Transkei – I return whenever
possible. Growing up near the Wild Coast,
we would go there often, and some of my
fondest memories are of those

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 133

TRAVEL DO THE SUMMERTIME SHIMMY

TAKING ON I moved to Joburg family outings. It’s an incredible,
THE WORLD because it’s where enchanted place, affording a sense of
everything happens. peace and untouched tranquillity that’s
Nkosinathi Maphumulo, It’s fast-paced and you unlike anything else on earth. It remains
aka Black Co ee, is work hard here, chasing unspoiled – as though modernity can’t get
among the world’s your dreams. at it.
foremost house music
producers. He started I moved to Joburg because it’s where
DJing when he was 17, everything happens. It’s fast-paced and
and was catapulted into you work hard here, chasing your dreams.
the limelight when he And it’s always been that kind of place, just
was chosen to participate like New York – if you can make it there,
in the Red Bull Music you can make it anywhere. If you want an
Academy. It ignited his album to hit the big time in this part of the
producing career and world, it’s got to first take off in Joburg.
spurred the release of his
I got into DJing because I loved dancing.
rst album in 2005. He I was part of a pantsula group. But before
won ‘Breakthrough DJ of that, I sang with the school choir, which
the Year’ at the 2015 DJ really deepened my appreciation of the
Awards in Ibiza where voice as an instrument. Choral music –
he has a regular gig and singing in harmony – is deeply entrenched
he was probably the throughout African culture. Vocals and live
most talked-about artist instruments are still important in
of 2017. is month, my music.
he’ll be doing his regular
summertime residency House music means different thing
at Shimmy Beach Club to different people. To me, it’s a kind of
in Cape Town, and is spiritual music, because it has elements
the headline act at Vic of gospel and jazz which have emotional
Falls Carnival on New resonance. It can be loungey, it can
Year’s Eve. be groovy, it can have a club vibe. But
whatever it is, it involves an emotion. So
134 DECEMBER 2017 house music in my world takes you into
a trance – when you get into it, when you
really, really listen, it makes you connect
with a world you’ve never even imagined.

My first foreign gig was in Swaziland,
around the time my first album released in
2005. I’ll never forget that crowd – a warm,
incredibly-welcoming people who know
how to find refuge in music. Music is a
place where they find freedom and for me
that’s such an amazing thing.

I feel strongly about Africa’s future.
Musically, we’ve slowly been discovering
our sound, and I think we’re ready to stand
up and tell the rest of the world to take

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DO THE SUMMERTIME SHIMMY TRAVEL

Being brought up in Africa has instilled an incredible
sense of pride in me, and when I’m away, I miss the
people, the vibe, and our unique energy

notice. I have tried to do things within interesting and colourful people live; it’s
house music that are utterly different a joyous place. I’m greatly inspired by
to anything that’s happened before. I our diversity and the strides we’ve taken
try to push the envelope quite far. In to integrate such varied cultures and
my album, Africa Rising, for example, we ethnicities. I see the dancefloor as a great
used full-blown orchestras to create a place to celebrate that integration.
sound that could really show the world
what we’re capable of doing here in Africa. MZANSI’S GOLDEN BOYS

I’ve played all over the world, but my Dominic Peters and Dave Poole, aka
roots are right here – this will always Goldfish, reveal what floats their boat.
be home. As much as I love New York There’s a soundtrack to growing up in
and Amsterdam, Hong Kong and Sydney, Africa. If you’re in a taxi, the music that’s
I’ll always return to South Africa. Being playing will be deep house or there’ll be
brought up in Africa has instilled traditional music; there’ll be entire radio
an incredible sense of
pride in me, and stations playing genres of music that
when I’m away, I are not being played anywhere
miss the people, else in the world. There are
the vibe, and some radio stations here
our unique that play South African
energy. South music exclusively. They’re
Africa is where not necessarily the pop
I laugh most. music channels, but the
This is where music they’re broadcasting
the world’s most is being produced nowhere
else in the world.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 137

TRAVEL DO THE SUMMERTIME SHIMMY

That’s something incredible – it means THE GOLDFISH SURF
there’s a lot of music innovation. TRILOGY

Just having grown up at the tip of Africa Dom and Dave try and surf
means we do things differently from wherever they can in the
young guys making music in Berlin or world. ey’ve even tried in the
California. By being cut off from the rest of Seychelles, but say it’s a bit at.
the world to some degree, geographically, ‘Madagascar’s a great surf
your influences tend to differ from people destination, very underutilised
producing music in Europe or the US. and quite unexplored. Many of
There are a few overt African influences in its surf spots don’t have names
our music, and also more subtle, intangible and there are many areas that
ones. Simply because our surroundings are haven’t been surfed before.
different, there will be a different sound.
When we go overseas, we have a different ere is a famous o shore wave
take on things and that’s refreshing for called Flameballs, though. It’s
listeners overseas. They may not be able the most terri ed I’ve ever been
to put their fingers on it, but we do sound in the water – while tackling
different. And we think it’s a strength. massive 8- to 10-foot surf, I
snapped my leash and had to
When we were at school, we were swim in over the hard coral reef.
hugely into Maskandi, a style of music It was pretty hardcore.’ – Dom
that’s really taken off in South Africa ‘Lake Malawi is so massive, it’s
like a sea – there are even waves.
In the a ernoon, when the wind
comes up, there’s a bit of swell,
and there’s some pretty great
body sur ng. Body sur ng in
fresh water is quite a novelty.
And then we got warned not
to swim at night because of
the chances of being eaten by a
crocodile or bitten by a hippo.
Not the usual sorts of warnings.’
– Dave
‘While sur ng in Plettenberg
Bay I’ve had a couple of run-ins
with those men in grey suits.
Once was on my 19th birthday.
I was riding a wave and noticed
that this shark was riding the
same wave. I could have literally
stuck my hand out and poked
him in the eye. I decided not to,
though.’ – Dom

138 DECEMBER 2017 kulula.com





DO THE SUMMERTIME SHIMMY TRAVEL

That’s the platform that electronic
music has given us – it breaks things
down to their essence.

Interviews: Keith Bain, Pictures: Aaron Polikoff, Greg Ewing, Al Nicoll Photography, and Jonathan Ferreira, THREE SECOND And then there’s Vusi Mahlasela, who is a We were
Karel Chladek, Suguru Saito / Red Bull Content Pool, supplied MEMORY freaking legend. always into the

Dominic Peters and David One of the things that attracted us to songwriting
Poole are jazz-trained dance music and specifically house music side of
musicians who have gone is the freedom that comes with certain electronic
on to become South Africa’s rigid formats, such as four-beats-to-a-bar music. And
most successful electronic with the kick drum hitting each beat. That’s we liked the
dance music duo. As quite rigid if you think of it in a musical challenge of
Gold sh they have a packed sense outside the house music paradigm. making accessible
international performance Once you accept that rigidity, however, it music – in other
schedule and are now based opens up so many possibilities in other words, we wanted to get
in San Diego where they areas. Because you’ve accepted that this our message across with the least amount
recently recorded Late Night is how the rhythm will be, but everything of complication. That’s the platform that
People, their h album. else can be whatever you want and can electronic music has given us – it breaks
fit together. So it really does work well things down to their essence. And every
is month (and next) they with improvisational music forms such ingredient is important. It’s like Italian
can be seen live at Shimmy as jazz and blues. That’s been our cooking. There might only be three or four
Beach Club, Cape Town, for strength, the blending of those styles ingredients, but put together in the right
Submerged Sundays. And with electronic music. combination, they can be very powerful.
they’re playing Kirstenbosch The fun thing about electronic music is
Gardens on New Year’s Eve. that there are no rules, and there is an
gold shlive.com ever-increasing array of technologies to
enable us to make music in all sorts of
– it’s basically guitar-based African pop bizarre ways.
music, and we loved listening to that. Of Despite the amount of time we
course, Cape Town is steeped in Cape spend overseas, often in incredible
jazz which is a very unique sound with locations, coming home to Cape Town
important names – like Abdullah Ibrahim is always a treat. It’s still probably the
and Basil Coetzee – attached to it. We’re best-kept secret in the world as far as
influenced by many of the usual suspects city lifestyle goes. A city where, on your
– Youssou N’Dour, Hugh Masekela, Miriam doorstep, you have the most incredible
Makeba, Papa Wemba, Oliver Mtukudzi. natural beauty, cosmopolitan atmosphere,
and amazing creative energy. It’s an
inspirational place that has huge influence
on our music. We’re massive nature
lovers, obsessive surfers, and love to be
outdoors. And that’s all taken care of
in Cape Town.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 141

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MZANSI’S HOPE SPOTS TRAVEL

heartEARTH’S BLUE
South Africa has so many spectacularly beautiful
seascapes with rich, diverse marine habitats and 24 Marine
Protected Areas (MPAs). It’s why the grande dame of ocean
conservation, Sylvia Earle, declared six Hope Spots here in
2014. These special conservation areas are critical to the
health of the ocean. According to the Sustainable Seas Trust,
less than three percent of the sea is considered protected.
Compare that to on land, where 12 percent is safeguarded in
the form of national parks or heritage sites. Each Hope Spot
– or Ikhaya lethemba, Home of Hope – has been created in
order to fight for an ocean equivalent. It’s our duty to protect
these six unique ocean treasures. It’s our planet, our only

home, after all. sst.org.za/hope-spots

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 145

ALGOA BAY, CAPE WHALE COAST, WESTERN CAPE.
EASTERN
CAPE. This 200km-long coastline reminds us of our history of dependence on the sea
with shell middens and artefacts dating back to the Stone Age, pre-colonial Khoi
Home to and San traps and the old whaling station at Betty’s Bay. It’s also home to our
the largest iconic Marine Big Five: African penguins, great white sharks, Cape fur seals,
populations whales (humpback, Southern right and Bryde’s) and dolphins.
of African
penguins, it’s a
refuge for calving
whales, bottlenose
and humpback dolphins
and visiting orcas. The resident
shark species are the pyjama shark
(or striped catshark) and the leopard
catshark (endemic to SA), and its
Cape gannets spend the
year waiting
for the annual
migration
of millions
of sardines.

146 DECEMBER 2017 kulula.com

MZANSI’S HOPE SPOTS TRAVEL

FALSE BAY,
WESTERN CAPE.

Stretching from Cape Point to Hangklip,

it is an area of dense kelp forests, which

act as a sanctuary for large reef fish,

abalone (perlemoen) and small sharks.

pictures: xxxxxxx ALIWAL SHOAL, KZN. One of the top 10 dive sites in the world, this rock

reef is home to abundant marine life including corals, colourful reef fish and a wide
variety of sharks including ragged-tooths, tigers, blacktips, and hammerheads.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2017 147