Khuluma March 2019

FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS EXPLORE

The centre accepts any wildlife – and Artist Branko
even fertilised eggs. ‘We had a case Dimitrov and his
where unfortunately a mum spotted wife, Buba, in their
eagle-owl got shot on a farm near Belfast,’ gallery on Teding van
says Frith. ‘The farmer knew the owl had Berkhout Street
been nesting, and went to the nest and
found two chicks and two eggs which he ‘In 1991, the trouble started in trees. The area’s present municipality dam
brought to us. One of the eggs was fertile, Yugoslavia. I was not interested in being was built in 1965, and stocked with 17 000
meaning it had an embryo in it. So we a part of the violence,’ he says. ‘If I had trout fingerlings the following year. Fish
immediately put it in an incubator, remained, I would have been expected would come to shape the town’s future.
hatched it, and then our surrogate owl to pick up a gun and shoot people, which
Molly raised it for us.’ I was not prepared to do. South Africa Today Mavungana Flyfishing
was the only country to grant visas to (flyfishing.co.za) is one of several local
In total, the centre has 90 resident birds my family. In the beginning, it was very businesses catering to those casting
that cannot be released due to ‘physical difficult. But I believe that if you have an for rainbow and brown trout in surrounding
or mental issues,’ she says. They also ability and are prepared to keep on trying, lakes. It claims to be South Africa’s largest
have leopard tortoises confiscated by the you must eventually have success. fly-fishing outfitter, catering for young and
SPCA, and a serval cat named Butternut. Now my work is shown around South old at its premises, which features a 20m
Africa – I am content.’ casting pond inhabited by pet rainbows,
Frith has managed the centre together golden trout and black bass.
with Magdali Theron, who hosts daily In his Dullstroom studio, Branko paints
public flight demonstrations, since evocative explosions of colour and light, Its founder, zoologist Jonathan Boulton,
2014. ‘It’s just the two of us here and often landscapes with moody skies, while says that – as a rule – he ‘would rather be
we really run around,’ says Frith. ‘Often it listening to the haunting strains of Chopin. fishing’. Mavungana is based in a sprawling
gets hard to go fetch our patients, so we His self-built home offers 360-degree converted house in Naledi Drive at the
really appreciate it when members of the views over the escarpment. town’s entrance, with lawns and a pond
public bring them to us, or agree to meet where wannabe anglers are offered casting
us halfway.’ While Branko paints, Buba manages the lessons. ‘Instructors explain the gear
gallery; it is a family business and Zoritza and how to cast on the lawn. It’s tricky, as
Waylaid raptors aren’t the only and Anjelina are artists too. ‘We are vegans flies weigh nothing, they’re made of fluff
Dullstroom residents to have defected so prefer to cook at home,’ says Buba. and feathers,’ says Jonathan. ‘The art
from Eastern Europe. One of the ‘We like to go out to explore nature, there and challenge is to lure trout with the fly,
town’s more enigmatic characters is is so much to see here.’ which is made to resemble actual food. So
Branko Dimitrov, owner of the famous you’re trying to fool Mother Nature with an
Dimitrov Art Gallery in Teding van In 1893, Dullstroom was named after imitation of nature.’
Berkhout Street. The tall, black-bearded Dutch merchant Wolterus Dull, who
expressionist painter (who will render founded the village’s first trading store He says trout fishing quotas depend
your portrait in vivid brushstrokes if you and planted its trademark elm and beech on individual landowners, but that
book in advance) speaks English with
slight hesitation, perhaps expected of
a Serb who emigrated to South Africa
in 1993. Branko, his wife Buba, and
their daughters Zoritza and Anjelina,
moved to Dullstroom 11 years ago.
He says the Highveld sky with its
stark clouds reminded him of his
childhood village in the far southern
reaches of former Yugoslavia.

kulula.com MARCH 2019 51

EXPLORE FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS

Both Mrs
Simpson's (on the
left) and the Walkersons
Hotel (check out its
views on the right) serve
incredible fresh trout

(below)

generally fly-fishing is For those eager to DULLSTROOM DIGS Pictures: Shutterstock; Mia Louw, Mavungana Flyfishing Centre, Dimitrov Art Gallery, South Africa Tourism
governed by a catch- hit the town’s culinary
and-release principle. scene, Mrs Simpson’s Walkersons Hotel & Spa
Restaurant, also If you have deep pockets (it’s R2 635
Jonathan moved to in Teding van Berkhout per person for a Lakeside Suite),
Dullstroom in 1994. Street, is a preferred splash out on a weekend retreat at
He recalls how the haunt. Founded by this sumptuous country hotel 10
town has swelled since couple Bryan Wolmarans and minutes east of Dullstroom. A cluster
the 1990s, when it Stephen de Meyer 14 years ago, the of stone-clad buildings overlooking
consisted of the Dullstroom Inn flamboyantly decorated restaurant has dams, the food is said to be great with
and a handful of shops. ‘Traditionally bright walls covered in portraits, with rows warm service (even though it is
it was made up of hardworking cattle of vintage clutch bags and shoes donated no longer owned by the original
farmers, mielie farmers and trout farmers,’ by diners. Known for their signature Walkersons) and with an excellent spa.
says Jonathan. ‘Then, as the town grew, fresh deboned trout (supplied by On the R540 toward Lydenburg,
more and more pubs shot up, competing Lunsklip Fisheries, a trout farm in the 013 253 7000, walkersons.co.za
for clients; I mean there was a happy hour nearby Kwena Basin), it’s named after the Kliphuisjes
at a different pub every day of the week. American divorcee, Mrs Wallis Simpson, Set among tranquil blue gum trees,
People joked that Dullstroom was a small the late Duchess of Windsor, who caused Kliphuisjes o ers self-catering units
fishing town with a big drinking problem.’ a stir in 1930s London society with with a communal patio and braai
her intended marriage to British king area 500m from Dullstroom’s main
Today, at the village’s cosy bar, Wild Edward VIII. drag. Apart from superb views, perks
about Whisky, you will find what’s A notable regular is Wallis, the include beautiful old-school décor
believed to be the southern hemisphere’s couple’s furry tiger-striped cat. ‘Wallis and well equipped kitchens complete
biggest whisky selection and an incredible has been here for 14 years as well,’ says with washing machines and tumble
variety of tasting menus to help guide you Stephen. ‘She has numerous godmothers driers for laundering muddy clothes.
through well over 1 000 different single and friends, gathered from among 264 Blue Crane Drive, 079 610 2732,
malts and blended malts, bourbons and our returning diners – many of them kliphuisjes.co.za
single grain whiskies – most are Scotch, become friends.’ Stephen, who moved
but there are Irish, American, Japanese, to Dullstroom in 1993, says he takes joy the local residents, who tend to be kind
Australian, Indian, Welsh, Belgian, from the town’s community life. ‘I enjoy and nurturing towards each other.
Canadian and even South African whiskies,
too. Plus a few other spirits. ‘Well, most of them,’ he adds as an
afterthought, his eyes rolling at the
thought of those unruly souls one finds
even in the most genteel places
on earth.

52 MARCH 2019 kulula.com





RISKY BUSINESS EXPLORE

HOW TO

GET
AHEAD

IN COMEDY

No matter how boring he claims he is,
Riaad Moosa is probably always going to be the

most interesting person in the room.
And the funniest

Pictures: xxxxxxx Did you turn to comedy as a refuge
from boredom?
No. I actually don’t mind being the boring
person in the room.
Comedy seems a pretty left-field choice
for the boring guy…
I often think about that. I ask myself, ‘Why?
Why would I gravitate towards this thing?’
I was never the class clown. I never wanted
to be the centre of attention. I just liked
jokes. But there’s this weird dichotomy.
When I’m on stage, I want people to think
what I am doing is the best thing in the
world. But when I’m off that stage,

kulula.com MARCH 2019 55

walking around in the real world, I don’t from Indian fathers: ‘You got 90%? What
want people to recognise me. happened to the other 10%?’ But at the
So it’s not about being in the spotlight? same time, I’ve always felt supported
No, I think I’m primarily driven by by both my parents, and they were proud
a preoccupation I have with the art of me.
form. The art of stand-up. That’s the Have there been jokes you’ve
main thing. Ultimately, I’m a conflicted regretted telling?
person who doesn’t feel comfortable There have been jokes that haven’t worked
anywhere, but I feel like I need to do and I don’t understand why they don’t
this – I need to be doing stand-up. And work. I guess I’m always trying to figure
I need to be appreciated for doing it. It’s out how to make those jokes work. Some
something I have a natural affinity for and of it is never going to be funny. But there
I think comedy protects me from being are certain things that I keep in the back
depressed. I am quite a serious person. of my mind and keep coming back to until
If I didn’t have comedy, if I didn’t look at eventually it finds a space.
life in that playful way, I’d be depressed. Is there a science to it?
Comedy is a drug, really. Yes. There’s definitely a science to it. But
Is it true that you were an instant hit as there’s also something else, some magic.
a comedian? So you can have all the nuts and bolts of
I was lucky, because people laughed from stand-up nailed down, but then there’s this
the start. I didn’t always have amazing
shows. I have messed up. You always kulula.com
mess up. But I wasn’t one of those
comedians who – when they start out –
aren’t funny, and then they become funny
over time. The problem, though, is that
the bar was set so high, I never had an
opportunity to relax into it. I was always
trying to sustain that initial success.
Have you always felt a lot of pressure
to succeed?
I think mostly self-imposed pressure.
A naturally ingrained thing. Probably
because of the fact that my father’s
extremely hard-working. I saw him
working all the time. He is in his sixties
now and he still works like a horse. It
was that classic thing that you hear

56 MARCH 2019

RISKY BUSINESS EXPLORE

Pictures: xxxxxxx other aspect that can’t be explained… and then I go out and I stand up on stage The voice inside is saying, ‘I’m in the zone!
Intuition? and I talk as I build the joke. All the ideas I’ve got to stay in the zone! I can’t leave
Exactly. It’s that intuitive space where all are there but nothing is written or scripted. the zone. If I leave the zone, I’ll become
the magic happens. Nothing. a mere mortal! A normal person with
The stuff that can’t be scripted? That sounds terrifying. weaknesses!’
I always used to write everything down Yes, I go out there and I talk and I mess up Are you brave?
– I’d be conscientious, methodical, and and I adjust on stage as I go. According to No, I’m not. I think coming from my
I’d get all the laughs as expected. And what’s happening in the moment. Because background and doing comedy is already
that’s great. But I always felt I lacked there’s so much to play with. And, yes, a big risk. As a person, I’m conservative.
something – and that something was it is scary. But it’s also thrilling because I’m motivated by my need to do something
looseness. I just never had that looseness there’s a lot to be gained from playing in the that is new. I need to be in a category
that some comics have. I blame it on my moment. You discover just how amazing our of one. I need to offer something that
conscientious mind, and my need to be brains are. And once you’re in the zone, you is unique. And because I have this high
prepared. But I wanted to know what it can flow with it. It’s almost like you’re not expectation of myself, I feel that I haven’t
would feel like to come onto stage with thinking, and the comedy just flows. And yet found my comedic voice. But I know I’m
that looseness… I find I get to be more authentic when I play much closer to it than I’ve ever been.
Where you’re improvising? in that space. Is this the voice of reason or maturity?
Yes. That’s what I’ve been trying to do. For Is it scary when you’re in that zone? Well, the older you get, the more
my last show, Life Begins, I intentionally Being in the zone is fun. Being in the zone introspective you become. There are so
never wrote anything down. I have ideas is the best. But then a new fear comes up. many different layers to you.

kulula.com MARCH 2019 57

EXPLORE RISKY BUSINESS

You also realise how honest you can get My mom will say, ‘You know, Riaad, the after doing this for 20 years.
with your comedy and you don’t have to message you’re sending about gender What has comedy taught you?
play superficially… dynamics when you talk about your wife So much. Most importantly, comedy has
So with experience comes honesty? isn’t good’. She doesn’t necessarily say it helped me live in the moment. I’m not,
Yes. If you want people to get you and you to me all the time, but I know what she’s by nature, an ‘in the moment’ person, but
want to be unique, you go inside thinking and I know how she feels. stand-up forces me to be in the moment.
– you get real on a personal level. You Is it still scary going onto stage? Comedy also protects you from letting
don’t talk about things that everybody I’ve learnt how to delay anxiety. I just your head get too big, because in order
can talk about. Each of us is unique, so refuse to engage with the nerves and fear to be funny, you must bring yourself down.
if you go inside, your material is going to be You’re talking about returning to
unique. If you do generic humour, anyone until the show your roots?
can take your material. There’s is about to Yes. The cool thing about comedy is that
a proliferation of comedians these days, happen. it’s a leveller. Other artists – pop singers
so the more individual and personal That’s my and movie stars – can exist high up there
the focus of your comedy, the more strategy somewhere. But if you’re a comedian, you
unique your offering. need to bring yourself down. You must be
Does that mean you have no able to connect with real people. This is
boundaries on stage? why a lot of comedians who make
Well, no. My mom is my voice of a name for themselves, and start living
sensitivity and responsibility. So when I’m lives that are detached from everybody
telling my jokes, I’m conscious of what else, cease to be funny. You will notice that
she would say! Some comedians talk many great comedians will at some point
about ‘freedom of speech’. They say, ‘I’m gravitate back towards wherever they
expressing myself, so you must take
what I say as a joke’. But I feel started. People like Seinfeld
a responsibility to the sensitivities and Chris Rock all end
of the people in front of me. up returning to the
Even if I’m tackling hard first little comedy
ideas, I have to be respectful club where they
and understanding, and began their careers.
do it in a responsible way. You won’t see
Beyoncé returning

MY MOM IS to that little bar she Interview: Keith Bain, Pictures: Sven Kristian
MY VOICE OF once sang in before
SENSITIVITY AND she was discovered,
RESPONSIBILITY but comedians crave
those authentic
58 MARCH 2019 spaces. They will bring
themselves back down to
earth because that’s where
the humour is.

kulula.com









THE SPANDEX SPREAD EXPLORE

Men
in

tights

Is extreme exercise the new ‘midlife crisis’? From the rise of the
Mamil (middle-aged man in Lycra) cyclist to the popularity of endurance running and cycling

events and cultish CrossFit, midlifers appear to be pursuing fitness challenges in record
numbers. What are they chasing – or running away from? Carla Hüsselmann discovers

how spandex has become the ultimate antidote to the midlife malaise

kulula.com MARCH 2019 63

‘ O ur planet may be home to Watch how he wrestles
30 million different kinds his spare tyre into eye-
of animals and plants; with wateringly tight Lycra bib
each individual locked in its own life-long shorts and a blindingly
fight for survival,’ narrates the mellifluous neon elasticised jersey,
David Attenborough in his award-winning which anthropologists debate may
documentary, The Life of Mamils. be a 1980s throwback to his heyday
‘Everywhere you look, on land or in the as Benoni High’s cycling champ
ocean, there are extraordinary examples
of the lengths living things go to stay alive. self-destructive mating ritual only ever ‘Caffeine coursing through his veins,
This is no more apparent than in the case observed in the male widow spider. our Mamil desperately fights for pride of
of that most unique two-wheeled breed position. But fails dismally, getting chicked
of urban Mamil: the middle-aged man ‘We travel now to Johannesburg’s by the lesser-spotted female rider. This
in Lycra. Or as they refer to themselves, notorious Dainfern hill to view our Homo ultimate humiliation sees him retreating to
“The Velominati: keepers of the cog”.’ the back of the gang, cowed, knees flailing.
cycopath in his natural habitat,
‘This extraordinary creature is so where maintaining ‘But surprisingly, our Mamil doesn’t
bizarre that, when specimens of it were dominance is a constant return home to lick this debilitating
first spotted on South African roads, struggle. Watch closely psychic gash. Instead, he grits his teeth,
people thought it must be a fake, or as a peloton of Mamils, rearranges his chamois, averts his gaze
a joke. But it’s not. It’s real. It’s alive. It’s from the transparent Lycra shorts in
hogging your road. Perpetually racing each with their characteristic front of him – and continues peddling. He
against the clock to that quixotic finish scrawny upper bodies, grind knows that a mere 74km away he’ll find
line, this toothless hunter has devised a watering hole with its soothing supply of
extraordinary survival mechanisms to away at their photogenic guilt-free liquid hops…’
combat irate motorists, his mutinous wife bikes and rise to challenge
and unassailable age. the resident alpha male,
Pharmstrong.
‘He’s developed the most complex,
what some would even call baffling,
body in the entire animal kingdom, often
drawing parallels to that of the Homo
teletubby. Watch how he wrestles his
spare tyre into eye-wateringly tight
Lycra bib shorts and a blindingly neon
elasticised jersey, which anthropologists
debate may be a 1980s throwback to his
heyday as Benoni High’s cycling champ.
He tames his tackle in his shorts’ chamois
hammock and then waddles outside into
the chilly dawn to the click-clack of
his Italian-designer cleated heels.

‘See as he steals into his
garage and surreptitiously swops
his steed’s wheels for carbon
fibre ones that he paid for in
cash so his wife won’t notice
his deception. A wholly

64 MARCH 2019 kulula.com

THE SPANDEX SPREAD EXPLORE

Not for the
weak-willed, the
Standard Bank Ironman
African Championship
happens in Nelson
Mandela Bay, Port

Elizabeth, on
7 April

BORN TO RACE? is predicted to grow to $62 billion biking, has also seen middle-
by 2026. In SA, the market aged enthusiasts swelling its
The poster boy for ‘the noughties’ version is booming too with record ranks, confirms Sarah
of the midlife crisis’, as described in a report numbers of midlifers taking Harrop, marketing and
by UK retail analyst Mintel, the Mamil up cycling, confirms Dave communications manager
was first identified in 2010 when a huge Bellairs, director of the Cape for the Absa Cape Epic. ‘The
upsurge in sales of bicycles to men aged Town Cycle Tour Trust, untamed African MTB race’
35 to 44 was recorded on Mud Island. which oversees the world’s sees teams paying R82 900
largest timed cycling race, for a week of arguably
Apparently men grappling with the happening on the Mother City peninsula masochistic riding crafted
bumpy ride of midlife now coveted this month. ‘We saw 35 600 entrants at
sweaty pedal power over throbbing last year’s Cycle Tour; 22% of the entire by the route’s aptly-named designer,
horsepower, buying premium racing field comprised men aged 40 to 49, while Dr Evil. ‘Last year 38% of our entrants
bikes instead of that Ferris Bueller- 6% were women in this age group. Another were aged between 40 and 49, and
inspired Porsche. Rather than chasing 20% were men aged 50 to 59, and 5% 22% were between 50 and 59. Our
after 20-something female projections were similarly-aged women. Midlifers Masters (a team in which both riders
of their lost youth, these modern-day made up more than half our field,’ he says. are over 40) and Grand Masters (both
warriors ‘with all the gear and no idea’ ‘A conservative estimate of the value of riders over 50) categories are extremely
were now pursuing cyclists half their the average bike in the Cycle Tour would competitive, with the Masters leaders
age up hills, or their Tour de France be around R15 000 – they vary in price normally among the Top 20 finishers,
demigods on bespoke cycling holidays in from about R4 000 to R200 000 – giving us and the Grand Masters not much further
the Alps, wrote jesting journalists. an estimated total value of just over half a back,’ says Harrop.
billion rand.’ And that’s just for the bikes.
On a more serious note, this segment’s This burgeoning interest isn’t unique
buying power hasn’t flagged: in 2016, the Road cycling’s muddy sibling, mountain to mountain biking, says sports
global bicycle market was valued at broadcaster and self-confessed Mamib
$45 billion, according to Statista.com, and

kulula.com MARCH 2019 65

EXPLORE THE SPANDEX SPREAD

(middle-aged man in baggies) Coming up on
Gerald de Kock, citing the 9 June, the 94th
growing number of midlifers Comrades Marathon
is an up run this year,
starting at Durban

City Hall

signing up for other extreme events

like the Comrades ultra-marathon, the

Dusi canoe marathon and the Ironman

triathlon. ‘Many South Africans are

besotted with endurance adventures; the

longer and tougher, the better,’ he says.

‘Why? I think it has its roots in the 1980s

when televised events like the Comrades BUT IS IT A it as a key transitional stage, says Dr
captured the public’s imagination.’ ‘MIDLIFE CRISIS’? Thuraisha Moodley, a Joburg-based
clinical psychologist. ‘As 40 looms, people
Stand at the start of any marathon search for renewed meaning and purpose
in the face of an abrupt awareness of
these days and the majority of the field Canadian psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques mortality. Signs of ageing are now hard
to ignore and only heightened by our
are aged 40 to 49, observes Michelle coined the term, ‘midlife crisis’, in a 1965 youth- and beauty-obsessed culture, and

Carnegie, editor of the running site, Run24, study, which examined the careers of amplified by social media. It
can become overwhelming for
and a marathon veteran of 25 years. ‘More artistic geniuses like Dante (the poet) and those comparing themselves
to the aesthetic of the “desired
and more middle-aged women are right found abrupt changes in their working body” of 20- and 30-year-olds,’
she says.
there beside their male counterparts, style or declines in their productivity
Dissatisfying life choices are
in many cases outrunning them. We’re around the age of 35. Later suddenly thrown into sharp
relief and leave some 40-somethings
inspired by exceptional athletes like Tanith the term was assimilated into grappling with a feeling of failure – and
often trying to find relief by trying to
Maxwell, who at her debut Comrades popular culture to describe the

last year finished fourth in the women’s existential angst of middle age

category in a time of 6:20 – that at the and consequent freak-out in its

age of 42. As long-distance sweetheart clichéd form of roaring sports

Charné Bosman, another perfect example cars and 20-something lovers

of longevity, says, “I might be 42, but it for jumpstarting erratic libidos.

feels like I’m 30. Age is not a handicap. Although there’s scientific debate

I believe I can still achieve anything I’ve as to whether this ‘midlife passage’

set my mind to”.’ actually exists, psychologists recognise

WHEN EXERCISE IS cost of your health, your relationships So, for example, if your motive is “I
A MIDLIFE CRISIS or your psyche. run to manage my stress and to socially
connect with others”, then there’s no
Overtraining, exhaustion, neglected It’s vital that a midlifer organises point in getting obsessed with personal
injuries, over-competitiveness, their sport around their life, rather bests, or in sacrificing all social events
overspending on expensive gear than their lives around their in order to train,’ he says. ‘You need to
(and lying about it), obsessiveness, exercise, advises Clinton Gähwiler,  aim for doing a minimum in all your
exercise addiction, and neglecting a psychologist at the Sports Science important life areas, so that you can
or avoiding your partner and family Institute of South Africa. ‘You have keep doing everything that matters to
responsibilities – all of these can to be clear about your motive for you on a sustainable basis. For want
point to a midlife crisis, rather than engaging in a particular form of of better words: develop a marathon,
a correction. As you age, it’s important physical activity and ensure that your rather than a sprint mentality.’
you live an active life, but not at the approach is congruent to this motive.

66 MARCH 2019 kulula.com





THE SPANDEX SPREAD EXPLORE

For at least
35 000 cyclists,
crossing the Cape Town
Cycle Tour finish line
on 10 March will rank
among 2019's most
memorable personal
accomplishments

relive lost youth. Sometimes this leads more to life than beer and boerewors,’ he and jokes levelled at Mamils and other
to more extreme reactions including relates. ‘At my 49th birthday, a friend gave middle-aged weekend warriors, but I’d
anxiety and depression, Moodley says, me a card that read, “Life begins at the rather see an overweight man or woman
and anaesthetising their problems with end of your comfort zone”, which really in Lycra on a bike or running, than wasting
alcohol and drugs, or even work and struck me. I’d been cycling for about 20 their lives away on a couch.’
plastic surgery. years, but I was overweight and arguably,
more interested in the coffee stops than Of course, there’s a degree of pure
But, increasingly, people are responding in exercising. That card made me realise escapism from the pressure of midlife
to the anxieties of middle age not by that I needed a new challenge; to push the responsibilities – and indulging your inner
clinging to the last vestiges of expiring limits of what I knew I was physically and child with all the blingy bells and whistles
youth, but by taking on challenges that mentally capable of. that cycling affords, says
seem to belong to the young alone. De Kock. ‘In a podcast I did on why people
By pushing the limits of what they’re ‘Within a year, I found myself in Iceland mountain bike, one of the most common
physically capable of through endurance tackling a 250km trail running race. I’ve responses from men was: ‘To be with my
athletics, argues Medium.com journalist since completed the Comrades and an mates for a few days and get away from
Paul Flannery in his much-discussed Ironman. There’ve been many criticisms the missus!’ But the irony is that couples
article, ‘Extreme athleticism is the new are increasingly cycling together, and
midlife crisis’. ‘The focus is less on what many events are focusing on including the
happened before the crisis and more on entire family.
what happens after. Call it the midlife
correction,’ he writes. ‘For some, their new obsession may be
a “midlife crisis”, but for most of us, it’s
Take Bellairs’ experience as a case in a lifestyle choice: we live in a beautiful
point: ‘I’m one of the midlifers who wake country with incredible outdoor activity
up in their 40s to the realisation that there’s opportunities, so we want to spend as

kulula.com MARCH 2019 69

EXPLORE THE SPANDEX SPREAD

Men and
women with
something to prove slog
it out against the elements
and tough terrain during
the biggest XTERRA event
in the world, held each
February in Grabouw

For some, their new obsession may be a Pictures: Mike Rose, Tobias Ginsberg, Maridav/shutterstock.com, sportpoint/shutterstock.com,
‘midlife crisis’, but for most of us, it’s a lifestyle Tom Kuest-Fotograf/shutterstock.com, lcswart/shutterstock.com,
choice: we live in a beautiful country with incredible Kuznetcov_Konstantin/shutterstock.com,
outdoor activity opportunities, so we want to spend

as much time outside as we can

much time outside as we can. For me, it’s But chiefly, Carnegie appreciates how overcome a feeling of lack of control over
a form of therapy too, because I always endurance exercise makes her feel like their lives,’ adds Moodley.
feel better about myself and the world a ‘superwoman before breakfast’ – and
during and after a ride,’ says well, less middle-aged, a term she still What has helped Bellairs stare down
De Kock. his midlife malaise is what endurance
struggles to ascribe to herself. athletes call ‘the dark place’. ‘This
Like many women ‘I’ve crossed the line of many normally happens late in a marathon when
her age, the endless a Comrades thinking, “If I just everything feels like it’s going wrong and
battle against did that, then surely I can do you’re in the worst pain you’ve ever been in,’
‘flabby thighs’ keeps anything”, which helps me he explains. ‘You have to embrace that pain
Carnegie running, persevere when things get and push through it, which in turn makes
she says – as well as tough in my daily life.’ you newly appreciate what your body and
the early-morning Fitness not only promises mind are capable of accomplishing. I’ve
therapeutic chats with a jaded midlifer a newly-toned learnt that just like I have to push through
her running buddies. And as much physique and a healthier lifestyle this dark place in endurance events, I have
as she adores her kids, escaping endorsed by their doctors, but it to learn to work through my midlife fears,
for an hour or four means she also offers them ‘an opportunity accept them and keep moving forward,
doesn’t have to listen to ‘someone for mastery and a sense of becoming a healthier, more balanced
shouting “mommy” 439 times!’ achievement, which helps them version of myself.’

70 MARCH 2019 kulula.com







On an interminably long and epically boring train trip
across Russia, Darrel Bristow-Bovey stumbles upon
this weird thing we’re all in – this thing called life

74 MARCH 2019 kulula.com

FROM SIBERIA WITH LOVE EXPLORE

Frozen
wasteland:
The Trans-Siberian Railway
traverses the Amur River near
the city of Khabarovsk in far-
eastern Russia just after the
first winter snow

ou like?’ said the chef. fine labial motor control because he did all side to side to resemble movement. On
He bent down beside me and this without once touching the cigarette and on, Siberia stretched, somewhere
put his big grimy face next to with his hand. When you’re the chef on the behind the haze: on and on and on and on.
mine and pretended to also look out at Trans-Siberian Railway you have a lot of And on.
the passing country. He chuckled at his time to practice your smoking.
own joke. I don’t know if the Trans-Siberian has
‘You like Siberia?’ he said again. ‘Yes, Siberia is beautiful,’ he said, changed now but when I took it across
‘Is beautiful, yes?’ chuckling more as he shambled away to the right-hand top of the map in a Russian
And he chuckled some more and the kitchen to do something terrible to winter it was exactly as a young man
coughed and took a deep drag of his potatoes. It felt like he had made this joke wants it to be: as solid as a shipyard, as
cigarette and exhaled the smoke like a lot over the years. bolted and welded as the Soviet state, all
a dusting of dirty snow. He flicked the ash iron and glass, staffed by heavy-faced,
and moved the cigarette from one corner Outside the window was a white haze, pock-marked attendants dressed in black
of his mouth to the other and inhaled depthless and featureless, the world seen who spent their days drinking vodka
again and held it, savouring the smoke through milky cataracts. At one minute somewhere beyond the reach
like wine, and exhaled again but more like it felt as though we were falling through of passengers.
a steam engine this time. He must have clouds at terminal velocity, the next as
had very well developed lip muscles and though we were completely motionless, The passengers were Mongolians and
actors in a movie set with crewmembers Chinese and dour Russians who all stayed
just off camera shaking the walls from thoroughly drunk. There was a wood-

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EXPLORE FROM SIBERIA WITH LOVE

Scenes from
a window: In the
bleakness of winter,
Siberia’s train stations
look like pastel

palaces

panelled dining car that looked attractive If you decide to simply stay in Russia and
until you spent any time in it, and served go across to Vladivostok on the Sea of
a sort of food but only sometimes. You Okhotsk, it’s even longer.
were far better off taking your own and
buying what you could at occasional The Trans-Siberian is the purest and
railway platforms in the middle of literally most honest journey in the world. It is
nowhere where citizens wrapped in the essence of travel. One of the great
blankets sold boiled eggs or packets of secrets about travel that is seldom told –
dried fish. either because travellers are too invested
in burnishing themselves and making
Siberia, you must understand, is others envious, or because, like women
very big. It’s bigger than we can easily who have given birth, afterwards some
comprehend. When we drive across the protective mechanism prevents them from
Karoo we whistle at the size and space but remembering just how painful it was at the
you could fit the Great Karoo into Siberia time – is that travel is really very boring.
30 times and still have enough space left
over to hide England without a trace. When For every sunrise snapshot over the
you step onto the Trans-Siberian, you’re Himalayas or exotic anecdote about an
not entirely sure how long you’ll be there, interesting stranger, there are hours and
especially in winter with blizzards and hours of airports and bus stations and
storms and all of Asia to delay you. If you taxi rides and metro stations and hot,
take the side-branch down to Mongolia dreary highways. There are nights spent in
and China, you’re on for almost a week. small rooms in dull hotels, staring at the
incomprehensible TV because

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FROM SIBERIA WITH LOVE EXPLORE

you’re too tired to go out. There are long Staving off
days trudging between sights that don’t boredom: Vodka is
speak to you and empty afternoons sitting used to help pass the
at lonely lunch tables thinking ‘Is this it? time, and even hopping
What now?’ off at remote outposts
provides meagre relief
Travel is very often like watching from the boredom
a game of American football: there are
brief bursts of colour and motion in which MARCH 2019 79
things are happening, although you aren’t
always sure what, interspersed with
long passages in which it seems nothing
will ever happen ever again. We don’t
remember those boring times, though,
except to make them seem somehow
heroic. We remember the picture moments
and the stories. We tell ourselves that
we endure the other parts in order to
get to the good stuff, but I wonder now
if that’s true.

At first it was exciting to be on the
Trans-Siberian, leaving Moscow and
heading eastwards into the unknown,
crossing the Ural Mountains at Kirov and
leaving Europe behind, feeling the vastness
of Siberia opening up before me like
a white outer space. Yes, I thought!

kulula.com

EXPLORE FROM SIBERIA WITH LOVE

This is why I travel! To venture into White noise: I travel to experience life, I thought at Pictures: Mikhail Varentsov/shutterstock.com, Serjio74/shutterstock.com, Grigorii Pisotsckii/shutterstock.com,
the mystery! Despite exotic- once: to see life from different angles Serkant Hekimci/shutterstock.com, Adwo/shutterstock.com, O.C Ritz/shutterstock.com, Serkant Hekimci/shutterstock.com
sounding place names, under different suns, to know it more fully
I seized hungrily on the new sights: the under the cover of than if I’d stayed home. And that sounded
snowy fields that ran away to the snowy endless snow, good, but the longer I sat there, the more
mountains, the dark groves of birch trees everywhere starts I realised that it’s not true. Because when
and white frozen creeks, the stony ridges to look the same you sit with it long enough, like a prisoner
lined with birches like eyebrows. On clear in a cave, it becomes clear that life isn’t
nights, the sunsets turned the snow red always-present, ever-unchanging nothing- the restless highlights, the sights and
and made the shadows purple. At first at-all, those questions led to a much more sounds, the novelties and incidents. Just
I thrilled to each new place name – terrible question: Why do I travel at all? the opposite: this is life, sitting here, doing
Tyumen, Ishim, Omsk, Ulan-Ude, Amazar nothing, breathing and being. This is what
– the tiny settlements of low smoking It’s good to discover such questions life is, me alone with me, and I seek those
roofs and blue trodden snow paths leading on a long, boring train journey with days other things because they distract me
to nothing, the shaggy white dogs like and days ahead, because that boredom from it.
overgrown wolves. prevents you from eagerly seizing the
first and easiest answer and being Just like TV or Twitter or alcohol or any
But as hour led to hour and day led to satisfied with it. other sensation that arrests our attention,
day, alone in my small kupe compartment, we seek travel in order to turn away from
my eyes started to tire with repetition and the silence and stillness that frightens us,
an unusual restlessness took me. I walked that leaves us abandoned with ourselves. It
up and down the train and saw the same takes a deep, deep boredom to reveal it to
faces doing the same nothing as they’d us, a boredom that is almost unendurable,
been doing the day before. I became bored. but once we’ve penetrated the wall of that
I was too bored to do anything. I had a book boredom, passed through it and emerged
I was enjoying but I was too bored to read. as though from a long grey tunnel – there
I ached, I silently shrieked for variety, for we are. There is life waiting for us, life in its
change, for stimulation. On day three or simplicity, an event in itself not
four we approached Slyudyanka on the a repository of events.
shores of Lake Baikal, the deepest lake in
the world, the largest by volume. Almost ‘Boredom is the resistance before
one quarter of all the fresh water in the understanding’ – that’s what my maths
world is in Lake Baikal, a vast wide well teacher told me once in high school, and
1 600 kilometres deep, and I counted there in the empty, freezing Siberian hills,
down the hours till I could so much as warm and safe and moving perhaps fast
catch a glimpse of it, something new, or perhaps slowly or perhaps not at all,
something to see, but as we rocked toward I understood it for the first time. It’s an
Slyudyanka, a storm blew up, the moisture understanding that’s hard to hold on to.
from the lake wrapping the train in wet Time passes, as it does even when you’re
wool, offering views only of whiteness bored, and soon enough it was Vladivostok,
underneath whiteness as we blew by. and things happened again, and sights
were seen and I managed to avoid life
My heart broke. This is a waste of time, a little longer.
I thought. This is a waste of life. What’s
the point of travelling if travelling only
means moving? And no stimulation?

And as I sat sluggish in my long, slow
state of half-awareness, staring out at the

80 MARCH 2019 kulula.com





B YOUR PLANK OR MINE? EXPLORE

It may simply be a plank modified O
with fins or wheels, but the A

guaranteed stoke provided by
a board keeps its riders reaching
for the sky. Carla Hüsselmann

joins three top South African
boarders who are smashing world
records while carving out lives that

are filled with adventure

R

pictures: xxxxxxx D

kulula.com MARCH 2019 83

EAT, SLEEP, KITE… REPEAT environment that it cleanses your mind – to her ‘wave list’. Off the coast of West
of daily stresses, leaving you fulfilled and Africa, Sal is one of Cape Verde’s northerly
Pro kitesurfer and SA wave kitesurfing serene,’ says the 24-year-old. islands, all forged from volcanic fury. With
champion Lydé Heckroodt spends her its golden sands, glassy sea, desert, dry
year pursuing the exhilarating harmony ‘Kitesurfing is a constant challenge, both valleys, salt marshes, dormant volcanoes
of wind with waves, testing her mettle physically and mentally; it’s about pushing and a unique gastronomy drawing from
against the world’s top competitors. From to better yourself every day and breaking Creole, Portuguese, African and Brazilian
the rejuvenating Indian Ocean enveloping new boundaries.’ flavours, Sal is the most popular island in
Mauritius to the azure Atlantic Ocean the archipelago.
lapping the Cape Verde islands and the Last year, Lydé was lucky enough to
wild Southern Ocean off Australia’s add the island of Sal – a kitesurfing utopia
dramatic south-west coastline, the world’s
varied seas are her permanent playground.

‘The ocean’s unique combination of
power and peace keeps me fuelled and
extremely humbled – it’s God’s absolute
masterpiece. You’re constantly in such
an open, undistracted and undistorted

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YOUR PLANK OR MINE? EXPLORE

‘It has a world-class right-hand point be opening a restaurant called Avocadish spots: Big Bay in Bloubergstrand, Stilbaai
break, a joyful local culture, and is home in Minneapolis in the States, where the and Durban.
to Cape Verde’s amazing national dish, dishes will be centred around her favourite
the cachupa, a slow-cooked, hearty stew food, the avocado. What’s her most treasured kitesurfing
made with beans, corn kernels, vegetables dream? Of course, it’s living on island time
and fish or meat,’ enthuses Lydé, whose When she’s not gallivanting round in the South Pacific archipelago of Fiji
other passion is food. She is, in fact, a chef the globe, you’ll find her carving up the with its endless stretches of vibrant reefs,
too, and in between vying for a podium waves with her father, who taught her teeming aquatic life, thrilling winds,
position on the World Tour this year, she’ll how to surf, and her brother, a former super-fun waves, and glorious culture
pro-kitesurfer, at their favourite local and hospitality.

kulula.com MARCH 2019 85



YOUR PLANK OR MINE? EXPLORE

SAILING THE OCEAN’S SKY

It looks like the unforgiving surface of the
moon: rocky hills and desert stretch as
far as the eye can see, the monotony only
broken by the thin sliver of a man-made
canal, brightly-coloured sails and the
quaint Namibian town of Lüderitz.
Brutal 50-plus knot winds whip sand
and even rocks skywards – the idyllic
conditions for the world’s top speed
windsurfers to smash records at the
2018 Lüderitz Speed Challenge.

Buzzing with adrenaline, Karo van
Tonder knows that if she loses her focus
for just one second, she risks losing her
board and sail to the furious elements
– and possibly suffering a career-ending
injury. Africa’s female slalom and speed
windsurfing champion stands in the
starting block, looks down into the
choppy, icy canal that’s only 30cm deep
and 7m wide and focuses her thoughts
and breathing, bringing her heart rate
down and blocking out the distractions
of the flying sand and rocks, the narrow
treacherous canal walls, the male
competitors twice her size, the fear in their
eyes and lodged deep inside her.

Karo’s board looks worryingly tiny at
only 39cm wide, and its sail too powerful
for her small frame, but she accelerates
from zero to 40 knots in seconds and guns
it down past the starting line. Her first
couple of days competing saw her hitting
the 1km-long canal in pure survival mode,
hanging onto her sail for dear life as the
monster gusts roared through her, and
often ended in tears and exhaustion. But
today she’s confident, having fine-tuned
her gear and worked out how to turn the
homicidal elements to her advantage.

The speed freak hurtles down the hairy
passageway, gliding over the rushing
water with the world moving past in
a blur.

kulula.com MARCH 2019 87

EXPLORE YOUR PLANK OR MINE?

She hits an average of sheltered by the reef and open – the conditions change daily and you
41,25 knots – landing her sea sections where it’s a little more can have a completely different sailing
the new African speed challenging. The only danger is crashing experience every day.’
record and making her the into the reef and coming away with
fifth fastest woman in the a broken fin and reef scars, which is par For Karo, windsurfing is ‘magical’.
world! But Karo will have to for the course!’ It was here in 2017 that ‘The feeling of the water gliding under
wait to celebrate this victory, because Karo hit windsurfing headlines when my board, the wind blowing through my
as she unclips from her board at the end she became the first woman ever to hair and the world moving past at such
of her record run, a strong gust of wind complete and win the gruelling 80km a fast pace is an awesome out-of-body
rips her sail out from underneath her left Défi Wind Mauritius event. experience. Only the forces of nature
arm, leaving her with the agony of are used to power you forward and it’s
a dislocated shoulder. But it’s Langebaan on the west coast just you, your board, the wind and the
of the Western Cape that truly has the water playing together to create pure
Thankfully, this isn’t the norm when 29-year-old’s wild heart: it’s where her movement and joy. It’s a very freeing and
it comes to competitions, laughs Karo, dad taught her to sail when she was empowering feeling to be able to work
who’s now fully recovered from her 13 and where she lives with her with only nature creating so much speed
shoulder injury late last year. ‘Take the husband. ‘It’s one of the best spots in the and power – and to see the world from
paradise-like conditions we raced in at world for windsurfing due to its this perspective. It makes the rest of my
the Mauritius Attitude Challenge last wide range of wind strengths and tides life seem like a breeze.’
year where I took the win. The water is
so clear and blue that you can see the
colourful coral reef clearly – it literally
feels like you’re flying. On race days,
you cover 50 to 80km across waters

88 MARCH 2019 kulula.com

36ONE BCI Flexible Opportunity Fund 36ONE SNN QI Hedge Fund
36ONE BCI Equity Fund 36ONE SNN Retail Hedge Fund
36ONE BCI SA Equity Fund 36ONE SNN Absolute Alpha Retail Hedge Fund
PPS Managed Fund

CHASING AN boundaries. This idea that a skater from metres apart and suspended three
IMPOSSIBLE DREAM Athlone couldn’t achieve skateboarding storeys high, with Table Mountain as the
heights just made me rebel by doing sweeping background to his gnarly feat.
He remembers how his world shifted tricks that would be so dangerous that ‘I was prepared for the worst as
irrevocably when, at age nine, he tried it would be impossible to not see what I I knew the danger of doing it – it was the
riding a skateboard for the first time. was capable of.’ most scared I’ve ever felt in my life. But
He knew with absolute certainty he’d I wanted to prove myself and motivate
found his calling: he would become The headstrong young man put the Cape Town community, showcasing
a world-renowned skateboarder. his body on the line, dead set on that we’re capable of impacting the
Unearthing a battered, bright orange, mastering the techniques of one of the world if we believe in the skills we
oddly-shaped skateboard in his parent’s most complex sports. ‘There are the possess. I thankfully landed it – it’s this
garage, the determined little dude spent fundamental tricks all skaters need to level of focus and motivation that I still
hours every day after school practising learn, but then you come to understand carry with me to this day.’
by himself until the street lights came on that the technicality has no end: all
in his road in Athlone. these tricks can be flipped into and It was also this feat that saw Jean-
combined with others, doubled and marc launching his charity, Fill The
However, even when he started sometimes tripled. They can be turned Gap, which distributes skating gear to
winning local competitions, Jean-marc 180 degrees, 360 degrees and further. underprivileged youngsters, in essence,
Johannes was told that his was an It can take days, weeks, even months to filling the gap between the dream of
impossible dream. ‘On the Cape Flats perfect one combination. Once I land children who want to skateboard and
it wasn’t considered normal to take a new trick, it’s a feeling like no other – whatever is prohibiting them from
up the sport of skateboarding and you make the impossible a reality.’ fulfilling that dream, he says.
make a success of it locally, let alone
internationally,’ he explains. But he didn’t In 2013, determined to literally reach Still, although Jean-marc was
want to chase a middle-of-the-road for the sky, he devised a death-defying achieving locally and internationally,
dream: in fact, the more people insisted trick that many wrote off as unthinkable: finding sponsorship was an ongoing
he was wasting his time, the more it he would launch himself between two battle, particularly in 2016 when he was
made him want to push far beyond shipping containers, which were four invited to compete in the FISE World

90 MARCH 2019 kulula.com

YOUR PLANK OR MINE? EXPLORE

Pictures: Ruben Petrisie, Fuad Esauck, Joos Bester, Jarryd Tiltman, Graham Ray Wiles, Lyle Series AM in Chengdu, China. ‘I was anywhere in the world right now it would an Olympic athlete at the 2020 Summer
Minnaar, Ference Isaacs, Cedric De Rodot, supplied down to my last board and footwear and be Indonesia as they have the most Olympics in Tokyo where skateboarding
had no sponsors, so I skated as though it delicious spicy food.’ will make its debut and give its top
was my last day on the board.’ He went athletes the premier athletic stage
on to win SA’s first international gold The 28-year-old has now set his they deserve.
medal for skateboarding – and hasn’t sights on his ultimate dream: becoming
stopped harvesting medals, awards
and records since. In 2017, he broke
the Guinness World Record for the
most nollie heelflips under one minute,
managing to pull off 14 of these crazy
rotating jumps – and 18 in 2018.

From Kimberley to Paris, Lebanon to
Bali, his board has taken him to places
he could only ever imagine as a boy.
‘Chengdu is the most fascinating city
I’ve ever been to, due to its history, food,
customs and way of life. It can definitely
be overwhelming culturally and the
food is the weirdest I’ve ever tried, but
it’s so advanced, even though you’re not
allowed access to email, Instagram,
or even Google. A Buddhist temple in
China, the Eiffel Tower in Paris and the
rice farms of Bali’s islands are the most
amazing sights I’ve seen. If I could be

kulula.com MARCH 2019 91

087 944 1882 | [email protected]



From Dull and dreary to kulula.com
the bland, benign and

just plain Boring, we join
Anthony Sharpe on a tour
of seemingly banal places

94 MARCH 2019

TRAVELS IN TEDIUM EXPLORE

here are more Boring people
in America than there are Dull
folk in Scotland. While this might
seem like a contentious statement to
some (and an obvious one to others),
it’s really not a matter of opinion;
local censuses confirm it as fact.
Around 8 000 people inhabit the small
American town of Boring, Oregon, while
a mere 80 dwell in the little Scottish
hamlet of Dull, Perthshire.
While Boring might be a little lacking
in high-end culture and nightlife, if you’re
into hiking, mountain biking, heart-
stopping mountain views, alpacas
(there’s an alpaca farm in town), good
coffee, wildflowers and a Goth float
parade (for real, it’s held every August
on the Clackamas River which is pictured
here – black wetsuits and eyeliner are
encouraged), it’s really nothing like
its name.
The same could be said for Dull,
situated in jaw-dropping Highlands
countryside, where visitors can
significantly increase the local population
count while cruising lochs, white-water
rafting, hiking, exploring castles, walking
alongside waterfalls and gazing in awe at
possibly the oldest living thing in Europe:
a yew tree estimated to be between
3 000 and 9 000 years old.
Instead of shrinking under the
embarrassment of their dreary town
monikers, residents of both Dull and
Boring have embraced them – in 2012,
they became unofficial twin cities to
promote tourism. In 2013, the towns
created the League of Extraordinary
Communities, inviting the remote
Australian county of Bland to join. And
while there’s really nothing boring, dull or
bland about Boring, Dull or Bland,
one does wonder about the reputations
(or lack thereof) of a few other places
on the planet…

kulula.com MARCH 2019 95

EXPLORE TRAVELS IN TEDIUM

IT’S BIG, EH? TOO TAME COLD AND COLOURLESS

What’s this all ‘aboot’? The USA’s Like murder and mayhem? Then avoid If extreme weather, wild parties,
northerly neighbour is often called Lichtenstein. The landlocked European drunkenness and fisticuffs don’t
the most boring country in the world. country has seen about three murders sound all that boring to you, then
It has far fewer mass shootings in the past three decades. It’s not Antarctica might be a good bet for
than the States, is cleaner, more surprising, really – at just 160km2 in size your next vacation. But for those
affordable, and its citizens are cited with a population of around 38 000, scientists, engineers and technicians
as being among the most polite in Lichtenstein is so tiny there isn’t even living in research bases like McMurdo
the world. The biggest problem with room for a fugitive to hide. The country Station and Palmer Station, the biggest
Canada seems to be that life there also hasn’t had an army for the past challenge is overcoming boredom.
isn’t challenging or stressful enough. 150 years. Instead of murdering each See, there’s not much to do for fun
other or their neighbours, the locals when you’re holed up in a compound
Of course, once you get past the engage in more benign activities, like surrounded by thousands of kilometres
excellent quality of life, you still denture production: around 20% of the of frozen, treacherous wasteland. Not
have the vastness of Canada’s great world’s false teeth originate here. much except drink. And so folks here
outdoors to contend with. After drink – so much so that drunken brawls
all, who wouldn’t get bored with Then, of course, you have to contend have become a common occurrence, as
800 000km2 of untouched wilderness with the drudgery of exploring ruined tensions exacerbated by cabin fever and
to explore, where you might run into castles (like the beauty above), hiking countless shots of whisky boil over.
nary a soul for days on end? across verdant mountains, downhill
and cross-country skiing, picturesque Of course, the world’s driest continent
Vanilla Canada even has its own winelands, ancient cathedrals and the (unless you count said scientists,
Boring Awards, which crowned the sort of peaceful, quaint atmosphere engineers and technicians) has been
capital, Ottawa (that's its Notre Dame that makes you feel as if you’re walking attracting bold adventurers for over
Cathedral with the Maman spider around in a postcard. Sounds awful, right? a hundred years, drawn by its very
sculpture, above), as the country’s inhospitality to discover its secrets and
most boring city. Funny thing is, conquer its challenges by sea, on foot
for the most boring country’s most and dragged behind a pack of yelping
boring city, Ottawa has kilometres of huskies. And anyone who isn't moved by
riverside bike and jogging paths, the sight of seals lolling on an ice floe or
a bunch of fascinating museums, multitudes of penguins marching across
a bustling bar and restaurant scene, the all-white emptiness probably lacks
the world’s largest escape room a pulse.
and the world’s largest outdoor
ice-skating rink, all packed into a melting
pot of English and French influence.
Yeah, probably a total snoozefest.

96 MARCH 2019 kulula.com