Khuluma March 2019

TRAVELS IN TEDIUM EXPLORE

STAID STATE And yet, even Chişinău houses QUOTIDIAN CAPITAL
intriguing oddities like the abandoned
Ah, Moldova! With a name that Soviet circus – an imposing concrete ‘Canberra: Why wait for death?’
sounds like a portmanteau to describe crown topped by a now-headless clown. wrote travel author Bill Bryson
what happens to those bits of food you There are relics of the military past of the Australian capital.
leave festering in Tupperwares in the scattered about, and the city even has Consistently ranked high among
back of your fridge for too long, this its own take on the Arc de Triomphe. the world’s dullest cities, the city
former Soviet state doesn’t appear of Canberra was founded as
at the top of too many travellers’ Out in the countryside of cornflower the legislative HQ after nobody
European itineraries. fields and meadows filled with flowers, could decide whether Sydney or
people still live in the same sort of Melbourne should take the honour.
Visitors to the capital, Chişinău, villages they’ve lived in for hundreds of Instead of a beautiful coastal
will find mostly an urban sprawl of years, each centred around a church – the capital, Australia ended up with
crumbling, Soviet-era apartment sorts of places where nothing ever really one almost 150km inland.
blocks and grey concrete buildings happens. It’s also (not insignificantly)
built in the 1950s under the home to local winery Mileştii Mici’s cellar While many cities grow
Khrushchev philosophy of ‘good, – housing 1.5 million bottles in a 240km organically and some thus end up
cheaper and built faster’. After the underground labyrinth navigable by car, rather haphazard affairs, Canberra
collapse of the USSR, the country it’s the largest of its kind in the world. has quite the opposite problem.
faced an economic crisis, and it Which sounds like a good reason to visit It’s almost a victim of being
remains the poorest state in Europe. Moldova before it’s ‘discovered’. over-designed, with everything so
So things are pretty bleak. consciously laid out that it comes
across as sterile and lacking in
Moldova's spontaneity. If you’re planning
unbelievable a visit, be warned that it’s also
underground wine not the most walkable of places.
cellar with room enough
to be explored by car; and Of course, conscious design has
Parliament House (above right) its perks: Canberra is one of the
in Australia's less-boring- world’s greenest cities, everything
than-expected capital, works, it’s pleasant and quiet, and
has some great museums. And
Canberra really, for some people, basking
like a lizard on a stretch of sand
kulula.com is less relaxing than popping into 99
a museum for an afternoon.

MARCH 2019







CRUEL INTENTIONS EXPLORE

NEVER
A dull

moment

Each year in March, thousands of hardcore mountain bikers from around the world
descend on the Western Cape to test their mettle on what’s widely considered the
pinnacle of the sport. Despite the majestic beauty of the terrain they set off into, what
awaits in the surrounding mountains is relentless pain and suffering. And so too does
glory – if they make it out alive. Aaron Borrill did, but it wasn’t always pretty

kulula.com MARCH 2019 103

EXPLORE CRUEL INTENTIONS Welcome to the Cape Epic, the toughest
mountain bike stage race in the world.
W hat am I doing here? Founded in 2004, this legendary multi-day
It’s still early days event takes riders on an eight-day journey
and I’m already through some of the Western Cape’s
questioning whether or not I belong here. harshest terrain. It’s not for sissies. Your
Having traversed a mere 51km of the first race can terminate without warning – be it
stage, I have many monstrous climbs from an encounter with a wild animal or an
still to negotiate and my mind is already unintentional crash owing to the technical
playing games with me, filling me with and rugged nature of the trails. Add to that
a deep sense of anger and frustration. Why Mother Nature’s mercurial mood swings
am I doing this to myself? How can a sport – extreme heat, rain, mud, sleet and block
I love so much feel so regrettably painful? headwinds are just some of the realities
I know from experience though that these riders will face at some point. There’s no
emotions are just temporary and that easy passage to the finish and every single
euphoria looms on the other side. I simply kilometre is earned. Even the descents are
need to fight my way through my current a challenge.
nemesis – a seemingly endless sandpit
that I’m trudging through, and surely all My first Epic – in 2016 – ended in tears.
will be right with my world once more. I had made it through that hellish sandpit,
If only… and all the way to Stage 5, when another,
more terrifying nemesis struck as the
104 MARCH 2019 route traced its way from Wellington to
Boschendal. After spending the night
in a Portaloo, my immune system was
compromised and a bacterial infection
landed me in hospital for a few days. Race
over. Doctors still don’t know what caused
it but suspect that dirty water from one
of the many streams and muddy puddles
we traversed may have contaminated one

The writer
(above) enjoys a
moment free of suffering;
the race pits riders against
themselves, the elements,
and some gruelling
single-track terrain

kulula.com

Scintillating
views come
standard; and
so does the mud
and grime

of my water bottles. otherwise harmless A considerable fortune spent on proving
I was an emotional viruses. The upshot to yourself and the world that you still
wreck after having to for professionals have a taste for adventure.
withdraw and it took however is that
me a few months they can always My second Epic was a bittersweet
to recover from the come back the affair. Despite the Portaloo tragedy of
disappointment. All the following year to make 2016, I entered the following year, this
hard work and dedication amends – they get paid time teaming up with my wife. We got off
seemingly wasted due to to ride their bikes after all. to a superb start during the Prologue on
something as innocuous as a puddle Amateurs don’t have such Meerendal Wine Estate in Durbanville.
of mud. But this is the nature of the beast; luxuries and riding an event like the Cape The good times were short-lived, though.
one of the many realities of multi-day Epic is, for the majority of the field, a once- Stage 1 brought with it a wave of heat
racing and something that all riders will in-a-lifetime affair with many entrants and humidity so severe, it put paid to over
have to confront at some point or another. going to extreme lengths to secure an 121 riders, including my wife. She was so
elusive entry – this is an expensive way to dehydrated I could barely recognise her
Such disappointments aren’t peculiar earn your self-respect. Or to discover the – she looked as though her soul had been
to the Cape Epic. It happens all the time depths of disappointment. sucked out somewhere in the mountains
in road racing, particularly the three-week Aside from the tens of thousands spent around Hermanus. I was forced to continue
Grand Tours such as the Tour de France, on an entry, there are the costs of alone and spent the next six days riding
Vuelta a España and Giro d’Italia where a bicycle, race nutrition, spare parts, as an ‘outcast’, Epic-speak for a rider
riders push themselves to such extremes training plans and preparation camps. who has lost a teammate and is now
that their bodies become susceptible to riding solo.

kulula.com MARCH 2019 105

EXPLORE CRUEL INTENTIONS

With temperatures in excess of 45°C, There are
the next day was another brutal affair and epic stretches
organisers shortened the stage by 40km through cultivated
for fear of seriously endangering our lives. vineyards and
Even so, the 62km route was brutal, with through wondrous
many defeated riders not quite making
it across the day’s makeshift finish line forests
which, to be honest, looked like a war zone.
kulula.com
The emotional scars of those who
survive every stage is clearly etched
across their sweat- and dust-stained faces.
At the end of each day, their glazed-over
eyes and anonymous stares tell an epic
tale of pain, cramp, dust, blood, sweat and
thirst. And that silent refrain, ‘Is this ever
going to end?’

I went on to finish that race but it wasn’t
how I imagined it would play out. The
remainder of my journey was lonely and
emotionally taxing. While I passed many
slower teams, I secretly envied
their companionship and camaraderie.
Apart from those goading interior voices
that continually chipped away at my
mettle, I had nobody to talk to and this
added to my anxiety and stress.
Plus, there was, of course, the physical
pain. I’ll admit there were times I burst
into tears out there in the wilderness,
but I forced myself to endure, to stay
tough, to be harder than I imagined
possible. You need to be hard. The moment
you show this race any kind of weakness it
will chew you up and spit you out to
die alone.

The magical finish-line moment I’d
anticipated didn’t happen, either. There
was neither a victory celebration nor
a fist pump. Finishing position means very
little. Everybody from the professionals to
the weekend warriors suffers equally and
there’s an undeniable bond shared by all
participants distinguishable by way of
a simple nod of the head, sometimes
even a smile.

106 MARCH 2019





Pictures: Greg Beadle, Karin Schermbrucker, Sportograf, Gary Perkin, Nick Muzik, Supplied It is a brutal CRUEL INTENTIONS EXPLORE
affair, and not
everyone gets to CONQUERING BOREDOM
celebrate at the finish, WITH PAIN
but the glory is
somehow eternal e Absa Cape Epic is no ordinary
race. Some people question the sanity
Emotionally, it was a combination of of those who sign up for a week-long
euphoria and deep sadness – I rolled over stint in the pain cave year a er year
the line, collected my medal and drove – it is a strange phenomenon among
home. In silence. humans that we voluntarily subject
ourselves to such gruelling physical
The race changed me forever, no doubt. ordeals but we all need to assuage our
Certainly, it hardened me. Despite the fear of boredom somehow, perhaps.
agony and torment along the way, finishing
served as proof of my own mental is year’s route starts in Hermanus
toughness, my determination. It was the and culminates at Val de Vie Estate
late, great Burry Stander (a two-time near Paarl, via Oak Valley in Elgin.
winner of the race) who said, ‘If someone It charts a similar path to that of the
comes to me and says he’s done an Epic, 2017 edition, the main di erence
or two or three, he’s immediately part of being an extended stint in Stellenbosch
the club. That person is a real mountain with cameos in Helderberg and
biker. You know they can suffer. You know Jonkershoek. Covering 624km, it is
there’s so much behind the statement. It’s one of the shortest Epics in recent
the race that measures all.’ memory but it won’t be easy – there is
over 16 600m of vertical ascent packed
kulula.com into the race, including the mythical
Groenlandberg climb which makes an
appearance during Stage 3.
17–24 March, cape-epic.com

MARCH 2019 109







Words: Keith Bain, Picture: Keith Bain DISCOVER
People. Ideas. Things.

BODY WORK

Unlike the rather pointless fingernail tattoo trend that enjoyed a brief surge on Instagram last year, genuine skin tattoos
have been around for aeons. The oldest evidence of tattooed human skin was discovered in the Alps. The mummified
remains of Ötzi the Iceman, who lived between 3400 and 3100 BCE, include 61 identifiable tattooed skin markings

comprising simple dots and carbon ink lines. Fast-forward 5 000 years and some major trends predicted for 2019 include
x-ray tattoos, fine-line face tattoos (à la Justin Bieber), inner ear tattoos, sticker tattoos (where a white outline makes the
artwork pop), colour realism micro tattoos, jawline tattoos and – biggest of all, apparently – mixed media tattoos, which
incorporate multiple genres into one dynamic artwork. You can ask about these and other styles, genres and traditions in
Cape Town during the South African Tattoo Convention, where 90 expert tattooists from around the world will gather this

month. Peruse the exhibits or get tattooed by some of the most celebrated artists in the business.
There’ll also be live bands, food trucks, a lifestyle market and a beer garden with sea views.
The Lookout, V&A Waterfront, 29–31 March, southafricantattooconvention.com

Boredom’s benefits 115 Beguilingly bland cars 121 Why investing’s no snooze 131 Monumental puppets 135



REDEEMING BOREDOM DISCOVER

Anthony Sharpe
takes a good, long,
contemplative stare

into the middle
distance at the
surprising benefits
of doing nothing

o have time was at once
the most magnificent
and the most dangerous
of experiments,’ wrote
the French philosopher Albert Camus
in A Happy Death. ‘Idleness is fatal
only to the mediocre.’ Problem is, who
has time to be idle these days? And,
granted the time, who has the will to
be idle, unengaged, even bored? We live
in a world where idleness is linked to
mediocrity. We’re encouraged to busy
ourselves constantly. And are taught to
work harder. All. The. Time.

kulula.com MARCH 2019 115

Conversely, doing nothing is seen as organisations, work addicts are MIND YOURSELF
a sign of irresponsibility or being adrift. highly encouraged, supported and
‘Idle hands are the devil’s playthings,’ even rewarded. Often, the insidious You may have heard the term
says the hoary old chestnut. development of the manic defence ‘mindfulness’ bandied about with
is difficult to counter because such increasing frequency over the past
Being busy, for many, feels good. behaviour is useful to organisations.’ decade or so. The term is typically
Manfred Kets de Vries, professor used to refer to modern, Western,
of leadership development and The irony of it all is that taking a break secular practices of bringing your
organisational change at graduate from work – and active thought, for that mind to the present moment.
business school INSEAD, and one of the matter – can benefit creativity. It’s known ‘Mindfulness is a way of paying
world’s top leadership thinkers, sees in as incubation, one of the four stages attention to yourself and the
our burgeoning busyness an attempt thought to comprise creativity: the mind world around without judgement,’
to block out thoughts and feelings that unconsciously recombining information explains Linda Kantor of the
frighten or disturb us – what he calls acquired during conscious work and Institute for Mindfulness South
a ‘manic defence’. In Doing Nothing producing a novel solution down the line. Africa. ‘Mindful attention allows
and Nothing to Do: The Hidden Value of us to root our attention in the
Empty Time and Boredom he writes, Some believe there is no such thing as present moment, and to work more
‘People resorting to the manic defence unconscious thought – that by stepping skilfully with the tendency of the
search out busyness to ward off the away from a problem for a while we are mind to analyse, or move into the
demons of loneliness, separation, simply clearing our minds of the accrued future or the past.
depression and (above all) death anxiety.’ clutter of partial ideas and solutions.
Some companies like Facebook, Google ‘Mindfulness develops emotional,
We do it to ourselves, for sure, but and Twitter have attempted to harness perceptual and interpersonal
the modern work environment isn’t this effect, making ‘disconnected time’ capacities that allow us to work and
exactly helping – in fact, a part of their working practices. to live with more wisdom and more
says Kets de Vries, compassion,’ explains Kantor. ‘It
today’s work ethos is DIGITISING OUR allows us to notice our biases and
actively fomenting DAYDREAMS assumptions, and to notice and step
this mindset. ‘In out of habitual patterns. All these
contemporary But it’s not just our work capacities can be transformative in
that’s consuming us. Camus our society.’
died half a century before
the popularisation of the This month, the Institute
smartphone, but I wonder is hosting the International
Mindfulness Conference; this
what he would’ve made year’s theme is ‘Mindfulness
of a traffic crossing, Approaches in an African
bus station or train Context’. Cradle of Humankind,
ride these days – of 22–25 March, mindfulness.org.za
the spaces where
boredom, daydreaming moment passes that we don’t dive into
and staring into our digital devices seeking messages,
the distance once news, games, cat videos… anything to
commingled to allow fill the space, to crowd out the dreaded
our minds to drift on sensation of breakfast.
the breeze, free from

focus or distraction.
Now it seems not a free

116 MARCH 2019 kulula.com

REDEEMING BOREDOM DISCOVER

Pictures: Piyapong89/shutterstock.com A study published last year in were measurable thermogenic effects, bored during his graduate studies that
Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social while meditative visualisation was he started studying boredom among
Networking found that ‘those mentally thought to be responsible for enabling teachers and students. And then he
preoccupied with online communication sustained increases in body temperature went on to establish the International
were overall less satisfied with their lives for longer periods. Interdisciplinary Boredom Conference,
and reported less affective wellbeing now in its sixth year, where academics
when they also experienced reduced While not everyone is likely to master gather to discuss the psychological
mindfulness’. That’s all of us, right? the art of using their mind to control aspects of boredom.
their body’s temperature, what the
But it turns out we should be giving Tummo meditators (and others who If this sounds like the sort of thing that
ourselves a little mental breathing use stillness as a regular practice) can might send you into a coma, it’s worth
room. ‘Many executives suffer from teach us is the simple therapeutic value noting that the lectures – on topics as
technostress,’ says Kets de Vries. ‘“Doing of disconnecting from all the worldly varied as ‘A Linguistic Look on Boredom:
nothing” has become increasingly difficult. distractions (including our devices) for a Causes, Trends and Ways of Expression’
There’s much less downtime due to being while. In other words, allowing ourselves and ‘Why do Children Feel like Doing
on call 24/7, and there’s always an app the space to experience some degree of Boring Things? Mechanisms and
to play with. There’s a great danger of nothing happening, of boredom… Functions of Rituals and Stereotyped
digital burnout unless a person can really Behaviours’ – are kept mercifully
manage the information overload – to be LET’S GET BORED succinct by the waggling of a stuffed toy
extremely disciplined on how to handle giraffe that indicates time up.
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp Many of us have experienced boredom
and so forth.’ while studying; it’s an almost intractable Finkielsztein’s gathering isn’t the only
part of the academic experience. Such place to ponder one’s navel. This year,
JUST BREATHE was the case for Mariusz Finkielsztein, London will see the ninth edition of The
a graduate student at the University Boring Conference (boringconference.
The antidote to all this is right in front of Warsaw’s Institute of Sociology, com), a ‘one-day celebration of the
of us. People have been actively doing who found himself so stultifyingly mundane, the ordinary, the obvious and
nothing for years – and we’re not just the overlooked’. Previous topics have
talking about your local city councillor included the shipping news, barcodes,
here. Meditation has been practised in Comic Sans (the computer font), electric
Buddhist, Hindu, Jain, Sikh, Tao and hand driers, toast, sneezing and BBC’s
Bahá’i traditions for millennia – in fact Antiques Road Trip. The idea behind the
most faiths and beliefs embrace some event is that the topics can be boring,
form of meditative practice. but not the content – speakers are
expected to find the fascinating, the
Meditation is basically focussing your weird and the wonderful in their chosen
mind on something – an action, thought or mundanity. If this sounds like something
object – in order to achieve mental clarity you might enjoy, you could also get
and calm. While we typically associate a good taste of the kind of thing on
meditation with sitting and breathing, offer by listening to ‘The Boring Talks’ –
maybe even chanting, it can get pretty a series of fascinatingly dull-sounding
extreme. Tummo meditation involves but rather riveting podcasts produced
sitting in the freezing cold having wet by the BBC (bbc.co.uk) – episode #24
sheets draped over your body. The ability is entitled ‘The Taxonomy of Cornflakes’
of practitioners using this meditation to and might change everything you ever
generate inner heat is the stuff of legend believed about breakfast.
– an academic study found that there

kulula.com MARCH 2019 117







REBELS WITH A CAUSE DISCOVER

Anthony Sharpe
shakes a gear stick at
four new car models
aiming to take dull out
of dependable in 2019

SENSIBLY SEXY me eyes in the form of its new J-shaped beams (hopefully these will all make it
LED headlights. With a 2.0-litre four- to the local market).
The Corolla is not an inherently sexy car. cylinder engine pumping out 125kW of
It’s dependable, reliable, sensible and power, this is hardly a hot hatch, but it Inside the cabin, there’s a nifty
safe – the sort of car you’d take home does have a specially designed six-speed infotainment system built into the 7-inch
to your mother. That’s what Toyota does, gearbox to help you have the maximum touchscreen, and even leather trim on the
and gazillions of people buy their cars amount of fun with that engine. base model. The back seats are a little
because they do it so dependably tight, but they fold down to give you some
and reliably. Of course, at heart it’s still a decent packing room for the groceries or
wholesome car, which is why it ships road-trip luggage (and at around
But it looks like the 2019 Toyota with Safety Sense 2.0, a comprehensive 9 litres/100km, you might be road-tripping
Corolla Hatchback might’ve been suite of driver aids including radar- a lot). It’s really the same dependable,
hanging out with the wrong (read: right) guided cruise control, automatic reliable and sensible car you always knew
crowd. It’s sporting a look with more emergency braking, road-sign assist, – it’s just that now it wants you to sit up
attitude, baring its teeth in a black lane-departure alert and automatic high and take notice.
trapezoidal grille below a pair of dare-

kulula.com MARCH 2019 121

DISCOVER REBELS WITH A CAUSE

SAFE AND SOUND And of course, it’s safe. Forward FOUR-WHEEL SPACESHIP
automatic emergency braking, lane assist
In a world where the crossover (or and departure warning, driver attention For a vehicle named after a fairly
almost-SUV) is becoming the go-to warning and collision warning are all large feline animal, you kind of expect
family car model, it’s easy to look back on there, with adaptive cruise control and a Jaguar to have some growl to its
ye olde compact sedan with a nostalgic pedestrian detection on the nattier (more engine. Indeed, the engines that the
twinge. Clearly someone at Kia thinks expensive) EX model. luxury-vehicle manufacturer has always
so too, because the new Kia Forte popped in its cars have never had too
(below) is every inch the family car The Forte isn’t going to win any awards much trouble producing just this sort of
of yore: spacious but not too big, in the looks category, but you’ll look very noise. But electric vehicles don’t do that –
reasonably quiet and economical. adult picking up the kids. It’s all very they’re essentially silent – and it’s
reasonable, in fact – which is exactly what a problem both for safety (pedestrians
The Forte’s 2.0-litre four-cylinder you want in a car like this. can’t hear them coming) and car
produces a fairly piddly 109kW of power, enthusiasts (because a silent car is kind
but it’s madly efficient, averaging around The new of boring, no?).
8.25 litres/100km. Handling is tight and Kia Forte is a
responsive, all things considered, which madly efficient sedan Which is why Jaguar employed the
is less important for zooming around that looks good in fiery services of Atlanta-based electronic
the track than safely avoiding careening red; the Jaguar i-Pace musician and sound designer Richard
taxis and wayward pedestrians. It’s also (top), meanwhile, is Devine to help them create an engine
a very quiet ride indeed, particularly more like a stealthy sound for the Jaguar i-Pace (above).
at this price point, which is crucial for The result is a car that sounds like
ferrying little ones home without them spaceship a spaceship when you accelerate.
awakening in an eruption of unintelligible And accelerate it does. With its two
kid invective. Plus, it’s got a 433-litre boot, synchronous permanent magnet motors
which is larger than that of a Honda Civic producing a hefty 294kW of power and
– the Forte’s most logical competitor. 696Nm of instantaneous torque, the i-Pace
leaps off the starting blocks and zooms to
100km/h in a not-at-all-boring 4.8 seconds.
Outside the car, people hear a futuristic
hum; inside there are different sound sets
if you engage dynamic mode, and you can
customise these so you never need to get
bored with the way your car sounds.

122 MARCH 2019 kulula.com





REBELS WITH A CAUSE DISCOVER

Pictures: Supplied FLIPPING THE BIRD their electric cars look like electric cars, electric motors pump out a combined
Audi has essentially flipped the bird at the 300kW that’ll do zero to 100km/h in 5.7
Consistent design language. It’s how future by making the E-tron look and feel seconds, despite the whole thing weighing
brands are built, really: creating a very much like the car of the present. in at a hefty 2.5 tonnes due to Audi
recognisable design signature and applying wanting to maintain the bells and whistles
that across all products to create a sense All the fancy electric-vehicle tech of a traditional, mid-size family SUV.
of cohesiveness, of identity. It’s also why is there, but it’s artfully incorporated.
almost all Audis look identical. Line up, Regenerative braking typically takes some And that’s what it is: a traditional,
say, an A4, A6 and an A8 and try to tell getting used to, but here it’s blended mid-size family SUV. It just happens to
them apart. It’s a little odd. with electrohydraulically assisted friction be powered by electricity. Because Audi
brakes, and you can toggle three levels knows that keeping things just familiar
This approach to design is evident in depending on conditions. Air springs and enough is how you convert the masses to
the Audi E-tron, the manufacturer’s first adaptive dampers keep the ride controlled electric driving. And there’s nothing boring
all-electric mass-production car. While and smooth, and it grips like hell. Its twin about that.
other manufacturers tend to try and make

kulula.com MARCH 2019 125





ADVERTORIAL

CONNECT & COLLECTTHINGS WORTH HAVING DISCOVER
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kulula.com 6

MARCH 2019 129



TAYKAINWG TNHE SQUIRRELLING AWAY FOR LATER DAYS DISCOVER
OUT OF
INVESTING If saving up for your
retirement sounds like
a boring chore, you need
to suck it up and start
investing now in order to

make time your ally

M rs Bloggs was always There is an ‘immediate, tangible and life, when we’ll have something to savour.
making excuses for why often emotional response to spending So how do we think of saving in
she couldn’t invest for money now rather than deferring
her retirement. ‘My husband earns more gratification sometime into the future,’ emotional terms? After all, all decisions,
than me, so he should save,’ she’d says Paul Hutchinson, sales manager including investment decisions, are
say. Or, ‘I’d much prefer to spend our at Investec Asset Management. ‘Who not only the result of rational thinking:
extra money on the house or on our wouldn’t prefer that new toy, expensive according to the latest neuroscientific
next vacation.’ car or overseas holiday, as opposed to research, they are made in the emotional
taking your hard-earned money and centre of our brain.
And Mrs Bloggs was not alone. Mrs making a long-term investment?’
Bloggs was among the 94% of South ‘Investing is complex, largely because
Africans who do not save enough for a The trick really is to take the we as investors are complex beings,’
comfortable retirement. psychology of delayed gratification – says Wanita Isaacs, head of investor
not eating the cupcake today so that education at Allan Gray. ‘Today more
And, yes, dear reader, Mrs Bloggs is you can savour it later – and apply it people in the financial industry
silly old me, refusing to get my butt into to something as essential and vital as are understanding the influence of
gear and do the sensible thing. Even saving for later in life. Unfortunately, psychology on investor behaviour and
though I know it’s the right thing to do. with savings and investments, there is no the return that investors get.’
cupcake to remind us of the time, later in
It comes down to human psychology, One way could be to use visualisation to
of course. imagine what the outcome of your

kulula.com MARCH 2019 131

DISCOVER SQUIRRELLING AWAY FOR LATER DAYS

saving might be. Maybe after saving RETIRING COMFORTABLY salary to retire comfortably in 20 years’ Words: Katherine Graham, Pictures: Viktoria Kurpas/shutterstock.com,
millions towards their retirement, time. Or you could delay retirement Roman Samborskyi/shutterstock.com
Mr and Mrs Bloggs are going to take They’re elusive words. ‘Retiring by working part-time and continue
a romantic trip to Venice or go hot- comfortably’ means different things to squirrelling money away.
air ballooning in the Magaliesberg. different people. ‘Generally speaking,
‘Having a goal or dream when you’re 75% of your final annual salary Compound interest is a good reason
investing makes it easier for you to is considered sufficient for many why you want time to be working in
stay motivated,’ says certified financial retirees dependent on their lifestyle your favour and not against you, says
planner Sigrid Madonko of Quintus choices and financial obligations,’ says Andile Jonas, head of marketing at
Wealth. She even recommends making Investec’s Paul Hutchinson. This is Momentum Financial Planning.
a mood board filled with pictures of because many people do not typically
what the future will look like to visualise contribute to a savings fund after ‘Simply put, you can be earning
your savings goals. retiring. ‘Transport and clothing costs compound interest or you can pay
also come down and they may be compound interest,’ says Jonas. ‘If
But let’s be totally honest – the debt free with financially independent you’re earning it, the longer you save,
profile of your average saver does children, but remember medical the more interest you earn. If you’re
not sound like Mr Fun Guy. According expenses often increase in later years.’ paying it, the longer you’re paying off
to Hutchinson, he’s somebody who your debt, the more interest is accrued
started a retirement savings fund in But keeping expenses to and the amount of interest you pay gets
his twenties, has a monthly budget and a minimum after retirement can be higher and higher.’
sticks to it, has a healthy relationship tricky, especially if you find yourself
with money (in other words, he’s in splashing out on a luxury cruise every He recommends paying off your
control of it and not vice versa), doesn’t few years. Hutchinson believes 5% debt quickly and getting a ‘slasher’
cash in on his retirement savings when is the magic number to remember. job to boost your earnings potential.
he switches jobs and visits a financial ‘Choosing the right level of starting ‘A “slasher” job,’ he explains, ‘means
advisor regularly to make sure he’s on income in a retirement annuity is that your day job is a journalist
the right track. key to investors managing their risk and your side-gig is a wedding
of running out of money,’ he says. ‘In photographer: this makes you
But maybe we can learn something short, a retiree should elect a starting a journo-slash-photographer!’
from Mr Saver – like how much of our income of no more than 5% of their
monthly salary we should be saving retirement capital.’ Jonas believes that investing can
every month towards our retirement. be interesting if you approach it in the
Is it 15%? Maybe 30%? Or should we you’ll need to save 30% of your pre-tax right way. ‘It’s like that childhood piggy
be stashing 50% every month? salary to retire at 60, while at age 40, bank, watching it get fuller and fuller
you’ll need to save 60% of your pre-tax and bursting with anticipation about
It all depends on when you start what you will buy.’
saving, says Hutchinson. ‘Thanks to
the wonder of compound interest But Hutchinson tends to agree with
(interest on interest), the value of a that sage investor George Soros who
well-structured investment will increase said, ‘If investing is entertaining – if
exponentially over time,’ he says. you’re having fun – you’re probably
‘This means if you start saving in your not making any money. Good investing
twenties, you’ll need to put aside only is boring.’
15% of your pre-tax income to build up
a nest egg of 40 times your final salary Sigh! Poor Mrs Bloggs will just
for your retirement.’ have to face the facts. Or find ways to
make boring beautiful, as Hutchinson
According to Investec’s calculations, suggests: ‘Rather look for excitement in
if you only start saving at the age of 30, other areas of your life. With regard to
your investments: sit back, relax and let
time be your ally.’

132 MARCH 2019 kulula.com





IF MONUMENTS COULD TALK DISCOVER

I f you thought all the arguments str in gsPULLING
over statues and public
monuments had grown stale, wait out-of-vogue – even hated – monuments, like them, they have their place because
until you see Save the Pedestals, such as the one depicting Paul Kruger they’re about memory and history. So
an unconventional new theatre piece by that sparks debate in the story. perhaps we should put them all together
controversy-garnering choreographer- and let them have a conversation with
director Robyn Orlin. The Joburg-born ‘It’s a very strange story because each other.’ Which, of course, is where
firebrand who is now based in Berlin nothing really happens,’ says Orlin, who Handspring’s gawp-worthy puppets and
has enjoyed a long career producing put the show together in Halle, Germany, Orlin’s unorthodox theatre language come
boundary-eroding work that stretches and worked with one puppeteer from
performers and yanks audiences out of Botswana and another from the Congo. together. You can watch the
their comfort zones – often by forcing ‘It’s really a question about what result of this collaboration
them to participate. to do with these monuments at the Baxter’s Flipside
that celebrate people who’ve Theatre in Cape Town
This new work is Orlin’s first time fallen from favour. The story from 28 to 30 March.
working with puppets. ‘They are suggests that, even if we don’t baxter.co.za
amazing creations,’ says Orlin, ‘and very
beautifully made by Handspring Puppet
Company. And they are big!’ They’re large
enough, in fact, that they dwarf their
human operators.

Loosely based on a short story by
Ivan Vladislavić, the show looks at the
question of what’s to be done with all the

Words: Keith Bain, Picture: Falk Wenzel

kulula.com MARCH 2019 135







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