WEDDING ESSENTIALS AND ESSENTIAL GROOM ISSUE DIGITAL MAGAZINE

Wedding

Inspiration

Debcyor

Candles 4 U

Bring your vision to life with Functions and Events. Whether it’s
a wedding at our beautiful venue,an exquisite wedding, a corporate
gathering, or an over-the-top holiday dinner, we have everything

you need to turn your vision into reality.

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Ntombi and Lwazi Real Wedding at Grasslands Conference and Wedding Venue

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Magical Moments

Brought to you
by

Grasslands Conference
and Wedding Venue

“To have a wonderful life together
and to hold eachother from this day forward

sharing every joy Forever and Ever”

- WE

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TIPS FOR CHOOSING

YOUR WEDDING MENU

I
t is an undeniable fact that one of the most enjoyable aspects of a wedding is the food.
Traditionally, wedding receptions were limited to simple, sit-down affairs. Nowadays there is a wealth of
different options for you and your partner to choose from. Here are a few useful tips to help you to plan
the perfect wedding menu for you and your guests.
TASTING TIME
When you attend tastings with your caterer, make the most of your time. Plan a list of questions before
your appointment. Be sure to bring someone along to get another opinion, and don’t be afraid to change
your mind about a dish, this is why you should preferably have more than one tasting.
THEME IT
You can tie in your choice of menu to your wedding theme. Consider such elements as your venue and
colours. If your venue is at a grand estate or hotel, you will want to choose a menu that ties in with the
ambiance. Likewise if you have a venue that is on the more outdoor side, choose a wedding menu that
reflects this, or even go for a picnic styled setting.
IN SEASON
When planning your menu and discussing the options with your caterers, ask their advice on what
produce will be in season at the time of your wedding. Produce that is in season will not only taste
better, but will feel more authentic too. Summer weddings lend themselves perfectly to strawberry
deserts and freshly squeezed fruit punch, while winter weddings are more suited to roasted root
vegetables and seasoned red wines.
QUALITY OVER QUANTITY
Your wedding menu should be about quality, not quantity. If your guests are too full by the end of the
day, it will be less likely that they will want to dance the night away at your evening entertainment. High
quality foods not only will make your guests feel healthy and energetic afterwards, it will also cut down
on the amount of food left over after the celebrations. Consider spreading the meal over the course of
the wedding reception, for example, tasty light canapés while the photographs are being taken, or a
small buffet with light finger foods during the evening.
KEEP IT SIMPLE
If you are having a hard time deciding on a course, remember to keep it simple. By choosing traditional
meals such as roast lamb and grilled chicken, chances are a majority of your guests will be happy with
the menu you choose.
SOCIAL FOODS
Food can be a great way to encourage your guests to get to know each other. Rather than individual
starters, a platter for each table is a way to develop sociability, and also gives you a great chance to
provide a wide variety of foods for your guests.
With all these tips in mind, you can ensure that your wedding menu is enjoyed by all. WE

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106 | Wedding Essentials 58 Komatie Road, Emmarentia,Randburg
+27 (0)84 880 7869 /+27 (0)84 322 3339

58 Komatie Road, Emmarentia,Randburg
+27 (0)84 880 7869 /+27 (0)84 322 3339

www.lovogliobridal.co.za

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108 | Wedding Essentials

Elegant Weddings

We Specialise in intimate country style weddings, each one personalised to create a uniquely
magical day for the couple and their guests. Here no effort is spared in coordinating the day the
couple will always remember. Both the ceremony and reception can be hosted on the property at

one of their stunning venues.

Portion 199 Pelindaba Road, Broederstroom Hartbeespoort, 0240, South-Africa

012 205 8600 | [email protected] | www.amanzingwe.co.za

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10 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR

WEDDING GUESTS HAPPY

When planning a wedding, it is easy to get swept up in making sure everything is perfect for the Warming it up

couple tying the knot. But there are some simple ways you can make sure you keep your wedding guests happy Similarly, if you plan to host an outdoor affair in the autumn or winter, when temperatures drop, you can consider
on your big day. offering a basket with shawls or blankets for guests who might feel the cold a little more than others. And, in case of
a downpour, it would be good to have some umbrellas handy.
They don’t cost a lot, and won’t add hours of extra planning on your part, but these 10 simple ideas will keep
guests happy on your wedding day. These can be especially handy for elderly guests or children, who will be appreciative of the extra thought you have
Give plenty of notice put in.

Weddings are a big deal and if you are having a destination wedding, or inviting guests from interstate or You could also plan for a coffee, tea and hot chocolate station to be available for people to warm up their hands and
overseas, they will need a lot of notice of your impending nuptials so they can make the necessary arrangements bodies while waiting.
to ensure they can attend.
This bites
Traditionally, invitations go out three months before a wedding, but you might like to extend that out further by
sending out Save the Date cards or magnets. If you are planning a ceremony near a waterway or on dusk, consider providing mosquito repellent or burning
This will give guests plenty of time to know when your big day is, without putting the pressure on you to have citronella candles to combat pesky blood suckers from feasting on your guests.
all of the details locked in.
The wheels on the bus
Set up a website
If your ceremony and reception are at a different location, consider booking a bus or other transport service to get
More and more couples are setting up wedding websites because it’s an easy way to keep all of your guests up to your guests from A to B.
date on the latest arrangements for your wedding.
This doesn’t mean you have to provide stretch limos for everyone. Look at local bus companies who might offer
Easy Weddings has an easy-to-use wedding website tool, where you can list travel details, maps, contact details charter services. Guests will just be grateful you have given them one less thing to think about.
and other information to keep your guests informed right up to the big day.
Remember if you take guests away from their cars, also charter a service to take them back to their vehicles at the
Location, location end of the reception.

If you are planning an outdoor wedding in the summer or spring, it’s nice to look for a location that provides For when nature calls
some shade for your guests.
If your ideal location doesn’t offer that, consider hiring a gazebo or marquee for them to sit or stand under, or It might be the furthest thing from your mind, but it pays to take notice of the bathroom situation if you are
provide parasols for guests to provide some relief from the sun. thinking of a more natural location.

Beating the heat If your guests have to walk for more than a few hundred meters to get to a single-stall toilet, you may want to
consider bringing in temporary bathrooms.
If the temperatures are on their way up around your wedding date, plan ahead by arranging portable fans, extra You don’t have to go for the building site bright yellow option, there are classier styles available.
shade and/or bottles of water for your guests.
Show the way
If you are having an outdoor wedding, perhaps even provide a large pump bottle of sunscreen towards the back
of the ceremony or reception set-up and get your celebrant or MC to inform guests that it is available – you don’t If you are not providing transport for your guests, share as much information as you can to help them get to your
want your guests to get sunburn! venue and then back to their hotels safely.

This can be done by creating a personalised Easy Weddings website, or you can add the details on a map with the
invitations.

Getting home

Sometimes guests can have way too much fun and perhaps drink one too many vinos during the reception.

Find out in advance which taxi companies operate in the area around the reception and collect their number or
even business cards and have them readily accessible to guests at the reception so they can call a taxi and get back
home or to their accommodation safely.

110 | Wedding Essentials

Our beautiful and tranquil wedding & confrerence venue, situated in the Sabie River Valley,
Our venue boasts a bontanical view, rustic reception area and an onsite accommodation suited

for 100-150 guests.
Sabaan offers a wide range of activities for the whole family. Ideal destination for scenic trips
to well known locations in Mpumalanga such as Pilgrim’s Rest, God’s Window and The Kruger

National Park.
Enjoy the facilities here and spend your days relaxing. We also offer you a fairytale Wedding.

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58 Komatie Road, Emmarentia,Randburg
+27 (0)84 880 7869 /+27 (0)84 322 3339

www.lovogliobridal.co.za

112 | Wedding Essentials

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a REAL Wedding for Andre and Karen at Fairway Lodge & Spa

114 | Wedding Essentials

To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow–this is a
human offering that can border on
miraculous.

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Forever Yours

Goedgedacht Game Lodge & Wedding Venue is a venue that is
serene and relaxing with the extra benefit of being snuggly fit amongst the rolling

hills 23 km outside Groblersdal. When you are at the Game Lodge, you are
completely at one with nature and it will be a Wedding Day to
forever remember

+27 82 872 0160 | [email protected] | www.goedgedachtgameranch.co.za

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HOW TO ENSURE YOUR VENDOR IS LGBT

FRIENDLY SAME-SEX MARRIAGE ADVICE

Upon first glance, it can be hard to determine which wedding suppliers embrace Check their social media

same-sex marriage. Because weddings are such a highly visual event, most suppliers have a heavy presence on
social media, which is great news for couples who want to do some covert browsing before
Planning the perfect wedding can be stressful enough without having to navigate which suppliers they reach out. As with their gallery, you can have a quick scroll through their images to
are open to working with same-sex couples to celebrate their love and commitment. check for any same-sex couples they may have worked with before.

There are some easy ways you can covertly scope out suppliers you would like to work with before Keep an eye out for little elements like Mr and Mr signage or Mrs and Mrs cake toppers.
you make contact to get a feel for whether they have the creative ability to think outside the square You can make a shortlist of suppliers who show they are willing to go above and beyond to
of tradition and bring your ceremony ideas to life. source special elements for a same-sex wedding.

Using these handy tricks means you can potentially avoid the awkward conversation that Research blogs
essentially involves you coming out again.
Check out blogs dedicated to same-sex marriage and you will be sure to see some
Check their gallery name-dropping of suppliers that other couples have worked with before and can
recommend. You will also find suppliers who may have expressed an unwillingness to work
Every supplier will have a gallery that shows off their past weddings. Have a scroll through and with same-sex couples on a ceremony and this will be an easy way for you to discount them
check it out to see if they have worked with same-sex couples in the past. This is a sure-fire way to from your list of potential suppliers without having to go through the awkward exchange
know that they are equality-minded. yourselves.

What language do they use? Ask your friends

You can tell a lot about a supplier by the way in which they address couples on their website and You are no doubt well connected in the LGBT community and there is no better form of
social media pages. Do they speak directly to brides and talk about grooms? Or are they using advertising than word of mouth. Check in with them and see who they have either worked
more gender-neutral language? with themselves, or who they know is great to work from speaking to their acquaintances.

If there are online forms to fill out, have a quick read through to see if they have designated the Start looking early
details section to a bride and groom. All of this is not a reason to steer clear of a supplier, unfortu-
nately it is still very much the norm, but if the supplier openly speaks in neutral terms that embrace The absolute key to securing the best suppliers to help you bring your dream ceremony to
all types of relationships, you know you can make contact with them without fear of awkwardness. life is to begin looking early.

Have they featured in Real Weddings?

Check out the same-sex weddings we have featured in Real Weddings. It’s an easy way to seek out
suppliers who are supportive of marriage equality and also have experience with creating unique
ceremonies that are all inclusive.’

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WHEN YOUR WEDDING

VENUES CANCEL HOW TO

DEAL WITH LAST SECOND

CANCELATIONS

These situations are rare, but when it happens, it’s an absolute disaster. It is every

soon-to-be wedded couple’s nightmare, having their wedding venue cancel at the very last
minute. These “what if ” situations probably make you shudder, but such a crisis one must
understand that not all hope is lost.
We’ve provided a list of instructions, a guide to help you deal with the trauma of such an
emergency.
The first thing that needs to happen is tracking down a thorough paper trail. Every venue
you speak to, make sure you’ve sent emails and set up contracts for the arrangement. Have
agreements on paper and put every element in pen. It’ll help you in case of such a last-minute
emergency, maybe even prevent it.
If it does happen to you, it’s time to go into damage control. Avoid spreading panic across your
wedding party, it’s not time to freak out, it’s now time to stay calm and fix.
Speak to a professional. Get hold of a wedding planner and explain to them what has happened.
Wedding planners are good at managing these disasters, they’ve seen it all before and may have a
solution. They have connections and knowledge on these matters so it is probably for the best if you get
hold of a wedding specialist.
If your wedding invitations have already gone to print, be sure to call them immediately and tell them
to put the printing on hold. Inform them of the new details of the wedding and let them know about the
situation. If it’s too late, get hold of your guests personally, tell them what has happened and explain to
them the next plan of action.
If you had put money into the venue which cancelled on you, it is vital to make sure that you get that
money back. You are most likely entitled to a refund and maybe added compensation for what has
happened. If you seek legal advice. Be sure to sit down with the venue manager and find out exactly
what has happened. Legal action should be a last resort, the first step would be to speak to them kindly
and figure out the situation. Again, make sure it somehow makes its way onto paper, go with an email
at first, just so that you have something to your advantage. If all else fails, seek out a lawyer to fix the
situation.
Overall, stay calm. It’s important to make sure you’re thinking clearly. Don’t go and set fire to someone’s
farm, don’t act impulsively. Your main objective is to find the next venue, it’s your top priority.

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PLANNING YOUR LIFE AFTER THE

WEDDING TAKING THE NEXT STEP

It’s normal to get caught up in your wedding. Everyone does it. But have you thought about what life you Categorise

want to lead after you’re married? If you haven’t, that’s okay. A lot of couples find themselves in this position After prioritising, now set your goals into categories. These are short-term, mid-term and long-term. A short-term
when their weddings roll in and then out, so it’s very natural. goal is something that you should be able to achieve within a year. This might be securing a promotion, pay bump
or getting healthy.
If you’ve not really planned what you want your life to be like, perhaps now is a good time. Sit down together
and discuss what you want to achieve together and where you want your lives to go. If you don’t know where to Mid-term goals are those which you are looking to achieve within the next 5 years. This is likely going to be things
start, that’s okay too. Here’s our handy guide to setting goals and planning your post-wedding life. like saving for a house and having children.

How do we set goals for our post-wedding life? A long-term goal will take over 5 years to achieve and it’ll be things like paying off your student loans or your
mortgage.
The way to begin goal-setting is with a conversation. You need to sit down together and discuss what you want
your lives to look like. These can be little things or bigger things, this is all based on you two and what you want Maintaining motivation
for yourselves. It’s important to consider your own personal goals. You will likely share a number of goals like
buying a house or having children but write your personal ones first. After your goals are organised like this, you can begin to work towards them. It’s all well and good in the
beginning when the excitement of having your own house or travelling the world is being discussed but saving for
Really think about what things you want to achieve in life. Things like learning to cook, backpacking through things and sticking to bigger plans is hard. It’s hard to maintain motivation. If you want to keep your motivation
Europe, working for yourself or getting healthy and fit. However big or small, write it all down. and keep on track, set smaller and more achievable goals that contribute to your bigger goals.

If you need inspiration at this stage think about your hobbies and interests. Focus on what makes you happy If one of your goals is to have children in the next 5 years, consider getting yourself healthy in order to achieve
and think about developing those things into a bigger goal. So you like painting, consider taking classes and this goal. Eat healthier, cut back on sugar and exercise and you’ll be ready for children by the time your goal rolls
then aiming to have your own gallery space. These are two goals you can aim towards with one being more around.
achievable and simple and the other being a bigger leap.
Every time you think about having McDonald’s for tea, think about having your baby and you’ll be cooking
You can even ask people who you admire for help. People who have achieved their goals in life are the picture something at home in no time.
of success. Ask them how they started if you’re stuck on your list.
If your goal is to take a huge, year-long trip together then treat yourselves to something whenever you reach the
Guaranteed, after doing all of these things, you’ll end up with a mighty fine list of goals to work from. next step in your savings goal. You could take yourselves out to a movie and dinner every time you save another
£2000 to keep you feeling positively and excited for your end goal.
Example goals to get you thinking:
Consider setting aside time together to discuss where you’re at with your goals each month. If you’re working
Money: Save for a house or flat, buy a new car, pay off student loans, pay off credit card, save for travel. on a goal together, you can discuss progress. If you’re working on something solo, share with your partner and
they may be able to give you some ideas of where to go to next. Communicate with each other to keep things
Career: Start own business, get a promotion, change careers. progressing.

Family: Have children, take parents on holiday, adopt a cat or dog. More ways to maintain motivation

Education: Get a Master’s degree, learn to speak If you’re still having trouble, consider the following.
Health: Become vegetarian, join a weekly yoga class, go jogging, lower cholesterol, drink less.
• Keep setting mini goals to keep feeling positively about your bigger goal
How do we bring our goals to life? • If there’s something you’re dreading in one of your goals, get it out of the way to avoid that
feeling festering
Now that you have your lists, sit down together and see how they align. Big things that you’ve likely discussed • Create a vision board
previously, like having children will hopefully be in sync with your partner’s goals. Sit together and discuss your • Tell people about your goals so you feel responsible for keeping on track with them
goals and decide where you want to prioritise. • Ditch your negative friends and surround yourselves with positive energy
• Keep discussing your goals with people you look up to and who have succeeded in achieving
Be realistic to start with. You can’t just launch in and plan to buy a Ferrari in 6 months as it’s probably going to their goals
be pretty unlikely. Discuss how much money, time and effort will go into your prioritised goals and how much • Plan different pathways to get to your end goal and switch to the alternate path if the first one
isn’t working out

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AVAILABLE AT SELECTED FOSCHINI STORES

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Essential
GROOM

HOW TO
BE THE
BEST MONEY
GROOM
MY WIFE MAKES

EVER MORE MONEY

10 THAN ME
THINGS A MEN NEEDS TO
WOMANKNOW BEFORE MARRYING A
Poppingn the Question | Making the Perfect SPECIAL
Speech | Wedding vow Tips | The Low Down on CUSTOMISED
Pre-Nups | Buying a Home

WORKOUT FEATURE
”

HUGO BOSS FASHION SPREAD

ISSUE 9 2019
R 60.43 (incl Vat)
Other countries R52.54 (excl Vat)

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filler

Photographer : Ever Ever photography -Astrid Nel
Designer: Ferreira Couture
130 | Wedding Essentials

filler

Photographer : Ever Ever photography -Astrid Nel
Designer: Ferreira Couture

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Photographer: Alexander Smith
Venue: Bona Dea

Hair & Make Up: Madeleine Botha- Make up by MB
Designer: Hugo Boss

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In this Issue...

1 Grooms Advice
140 10 Things a Men Need to
Know Before Marrying a Woman
142 Proposal Hints and Tips
144 Popping the Question
148 Tips and Advice for Newly
Engaged Couples
154 How to be the best Groom
Ever

2 Marriage Advice
182 My wife makes more money
than me- The befits of having a
bread winning wife
184 Beating them Blues
182 Tips for a Happy Marriage

3 Fitness For The Groom
146 Custom Work Out Feature
Couples who train together stay together.

4 Groom Style

170 Man Guide to buying Lingerie

5 Traditions

186 Tips for Handling Parents who
try to take control of you wedding
186 Buying a Home

134 | Wedding Essentials

When you truly love someone it means your love is uncondi-
tional. It means taking the good and the bad, loving them
for the person they are, and not trying to change them into the

person you want them to be.

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Essential Note Tracey- Anne | Owner & Publisher

Being a Groom and planning your wedding can be quite a
daunting task.
However, we, at Essential Groom with our digital issues, offer
valuable tips and essential advice that will take you through
every aspect of planning your wedding. Let us introduce
“The Ultimate Guide for the Ultimate Groom”.

We start you off by giving you advice on ‘What every man
needs to know before getting married . So we have offered
advice on how to pop the question correctly, remember this
has to be done right ,as this is the moment she will
remember for the rest of her life , and a story that she will be
telling your kids one day , so guys you have one shot at this,
‘so it has to be perfect’

We’ve also offered you some insight into the low down on
Prenups, as this often seems to be a deal breaker for the
groom as well as a nervous task, we hope that this article will
offer some valuable advice and calm the nerves, and to look
at things with an open mind from the legal side.

This being our Summer issue we have explored the health
and fitness, offering work out tips, getting your body in
shape for the big day, as we know that going to the gym in
winter can be a challenge, so these steps will help you build
that body,ensuring that you get in shape for the big day.

Looking good for the big day is a must, and here you will also
find some great suit idea brought to you by Hugo Boss along
with some of their causal wear that one can take on
honeymoon with you,so that you can still look great while
walking with your new wife , and at the same time feeling
causal in those great looks .

In this the issue we have also given you some, advise on
dealing with certain aspects when it comes to planning
the wedding , things you tend to do at the last the minuet ,
such as that perfect speech , something we all struggle with
remember when doing your speech , speak from the heart ,
remember the romantic times you spent with her , the spe-
cial times you shared that lead you up to this day , and most
importantly don’t forget to compliment her on how beautiful
she looks on the day .

Tips on how to deal with controlling parents – look we all
love our parents and we all wont to ensure that they are hap-
py too , but remember the day belongs to you and your new
wife to be , so ensure that the both of you are made to be the
best that you can be for each other, as that is what this day is
all about ‘the two of you’.

Choosing Lingerie – Guys this is a age old tradition practised
by the French Men, now who says that you have to be French
to do this, however when buying your wife lingerie there are
some steps to follow , we hope that this article will help you
with this , so that you too can show how much you love her
and appriciate her beauty .

We follow with that important decition - Tips on buying that
first home, tips on a happy marriage, and then my all-time
favourite – beet those honeymoon blues and many more.

Well we love offering you valuable insight and advice and
hope that this issue of Essential Groom becomes your
ultimate guide for the ultimate groom when it comes to
planning your wedding.

We hope you enjoy this issue.

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2 Venue: Bona Dea

We are an award winning wedding venu
in the Overberg. We also host spectacula
conferences & functions.

Contributers 3

1 Hair & Makeup Artist : 4
Madeleine Botha
Her work has been featured in some of South 5
Africa’s top magazine’s like Cosmo’ & Savage Mag-
azine. Photographer Alexander Smith

2 Suit Designer: Hugo Boss [email protected] | w

3 Photographer:
Alexander Smith
We’re thieves of moments. Stealing them wher-
ever we go and making that feeling last... forever.

4 Models: 20 Model Management

Twenty Model Management agency representing
both local and international talent. We had the
pleasure of utilizing two models from their agen-
cy on our shoot.

5 Creative Designer:
Tanaka Tapers
A new up & coming, energetic designer that is
proud to be a part of the essential media team,
bringing her expertise on graphics, page layouts
and design.

[email protected] | www.weddingessentialmagazine.co.za | DIGITAL MAGAZINE

138 | Wedding Essentials

ue
ar

GM - Rina De Wet

Photographer:
Alexander Smith

We’re thieves of moments. Stealing them
wherever we go and making that feeling
last... forever.

Models: 20 Model Management

Twenty Model Management agency repre-
senting both local and international talent.
We had the pleasure of utilizing two mod-
els from their agency on our shoot.

Creative Designer:
Eugene Esterhuizen

A new up & coming, energetic designer that
is proud to be a part of the essential media
team, bringing his expertise on graphics,
page layouts and design.
www.weddingessentialmagazine.co.za | 021 672 0004

Wedding Essentials | 139

You’ve finally met the woman of your dreams and now you’re ready to settle

down. Now that you’ve met your soul mate, it’s time to start making plans. But do you
know all there is to know about her? Take the time to learn as much as you can before
you head out to buy that engagement ring. Here are 10 important questions you need to
answer before heading down the aisle.

140 | Wedding Essentials

10 Things Men Need to Know
Before Marrying a Woman

How does she manage money? 4. How does she prefer to spend the holidays?
How an individual handles personal finances can make or break a relationship. Her poor money choices Holidays are also another issue that can potentially cause strain in a relationship. Find out now how she imagines
1co. uld put you both in a bind, especially if you plan to purchase a home together. Find out what her spending spending the holidays and where she plans to spend them. Will you spend one occasion with her family and the
habits are, if she has any large outstanding debts, and if there are any significant financial strikes on her other with your family? Will you stay home and have both families visit you? Figure out an arrangement that can
credit report. For example, if you find out she recently declared bankruptcy but still continues to charge work for both of you.
lavish vacations and shop for clothes every week, you may want to rethink your decision to marry.
5. What are her expectations?
2. Does she want children? You’ll both need to decide beforehand how you’d like to approach your marriage. Some couples opt for a more
Discuss if she wants to have children. If she does, make sure you’re clear on how many children she wants. traditional arrangement with the wife taking care of minor household issues while the husband makes all of the
Some couples can’t seem to agree on how small or large their family should be, and this can lead to unneces- major decisions like where to live or how to manage family finances. Other couples would rather have a more
sary arguments. Also, have a discussion about whether she has any health conditions that could prevent her balanced lifestyle, where both have an equal say in major decisions and approach marriage as a partnership.
from conceiving. This isn’t something you want to find out after the wedding Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Glenn Lutjens recommends finding out as early in the relationship as
possible what your partner’s expectations are. If you don’t discuss this now, it could be the central cause of many
3. What are her religious beliefs? fights down the road as you engage in an endless power struggle and attempt to manage unrealistic expectations.
Your future spouse’s religious beliefs may not matter to you right now. However, her beliefs will have a 6. How does she want to spend free time?
significant impact on how you raise your children (if you choose to have any). When you do get a better
understanding of her beliefs, decide whether this is something that could work for you and your family. Does your future wife expect that you will spend most of your free time together or does she prefer to spend
most of her time alone? Perhaps she likes a combination of the two. Discuss how much time you expect to spend
together.

7. How will chores be divided?
Is she OK with traditional roles or will you divide chores evenly? This is one issue that often doesn’t come up until
after a couple has said “I do.” Discuss your preferences when it comes to cleanliness and decide now who will be
responsible for certain household chores.

8. Where will you live?
Your partner may love where she lives now. Is she willing to move to a new home or an entirely different city? What
would you do if you got a great job offer in another state? Discuss housing plans and come to an agreement on where
you will live and under what circumstances you would make a big move.

9. What’s her love language?
Each person has a different way of giving and receiving love. You’ll face a lot of frustration and waste an incredible
amount of energy if you don’t love her the way she needs to be loved. For example, if your way of demonstrating and
receiving love is to give small gifts, but her way of demonstrating and receiving love is to be touched, neither of you
will get your needs met in a way that is fully satisfying.
Author and relationship counselor Gary D. Chapman calls these actions love languages, and he says there are five.
He writes:
[T]here are five emotional love languages — five ways that people speak and understand emotional love. In the field
of linguistics, a language may have numerous dialects or variations. Similarly, within the five basic emotional love
languages, there are many dialects. … The number of ways to express love within a love language is limited only by
one’s imagination. The important thing is to speak the love language of your spouse.

10. How does she feel about pets?
Our pets are like family. They are there for us when we need them and they know just how to make us feel better
after a terrible day. If you absolutely adore animals and your future spouse can’t even stand the sight of a new-born
kitten, you obviously have a problem on your hands.

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PROPOSAL HINTS
AND TIPS

W Keeping these little personality traits in mind will help guide you to a well-thought-out proposal, and that
e’ve all seen the grand and OTT proposals on Hollywood productions, but for those of us means more than throwing hundreds of dollars at a brass band to show up for a surprise performance of your
who live in real life, preparing a proposal doesn’t have to be expensive or cliché to really tug at your partner’s fiance-to-be’s favorite love song in a public location for your proposal.
heartstrings. Here are some tips for proposing to your partner. (BTW, proposals where heaps of people will be watching for their reaction could cause your partner to bolt if they
are a usually shy or sensitive person!)
When you know you have found ‘the one’ and would like to pop the big question, take some time to really think
about what they like. If your partner is quite traditional, you might have to add in some pre-proposal planning and meet with their
father or both parents to ask their permission for your partner’s hand.
Are they outdoorsy? Do they live at the beach? Do they enjoy little romantic gifts of chocolates, roses or wine? Are
they adventurous? Do they have a passion for an author, a movie or a...??? Even in these modern times, this simple step alone can mean so much to your future fiancé.

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Everyone is nervous about asking questions where they are not certain what the answer will be .
and a proposal is no exception.
Hijack a holiday
Even if you have been together for many years and declare your love for each other on a daily
basis, it can still be hard to make the move and propose. If you are planning a holiday together, you might be able to capitalise on the romance of a
destination proposal on the beach, in the mountains or wherever you may be.
Try not to ask your partner for tips or advice on what they want as a proposal (but do take notes
if they offer them of their own free will) because the surprise factor is one of the best things about Indulge a passion
a proposal.
If your partner LOVES a certain book, movie, TV series or board game, dress up in
And when the time comes, no matter what you say even if you’ve written them an epic poem or character or take them somewhere that could be connected to it to make your proposal more
composed a rock ballad in their honour, it’s essential that you finish with the precise words “Will personalized.
you marry me?”
Gift within a gift
We all know the best things in life are free, so here are some creative ways you can propose that
won’t tear a hole in your wallet or purse. If your partner loves getting little gifts, you could place a ring on the stem of a rose or inside a
box of chocolates (in the jewelry box, so it doesn’t get lost).
Get back to nature Cook up a treat

If your partner loves being outdoors, head out for a hike, a mountain climb or a day at a secluded If you are crafty in the kitchen, you could make an intimate dinner at home and when it’s
beach. You could pack a little picnic lunch and a bottle of champagne for when they say yes to time for dessert, pop the ring on top of the dessert for a great surprise.
your proposal in their favourite setting.
If you are not a Masterchef in waiting, you can always do a similar thing, but at a restaurant
Treasure hunt with the assistance of the staff.

Send your unsuspecting partner on a treasure hunt that ends with your proposal. Start with a Either way, place the ring in plain sight, not hidden inside as diamonds have been swallowed
handwritten note or a text message with a clue at home that could lead to places around the house before and waiting for it to pass won’t be a pretty way to start your engagement.
or neighborhood, or to a tour of your favorite spots all over town.
Go old school
Shake it out
If your partner likes to shake their groove thing, go out for a night of dancing and ask the DJ or Throwback to your childhood with a proposal written in chalk on your street or driveway, or
bandleader to pass you the mic so you can dedicate a song and propose on the dance floor if you have fridge letters, you could rearrange them to spell out ‘Will you marry me?’

The power cut

Make a trail of safe tea light candles into a room and place a circle of them around the
jewellery box. When you partner comes home, turn off all the lights and wait for them on
bended knee by the ring.

You’re the star that twinkles at night, the breeze that
makes things feel right. You’re the sunshine that drives
blues away, the beat that makes my heart beat every day.

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POPPING THE
QUESTION

“Will you marry me?” Probably the most significant and nerve-racking question you’ll ever ask anyone.

Proposing requires tons of thought and planning to make it the most unforgettable moment of your lives.
Special romantic gestures are sometimes more effective than big show-stoppers – the most memorable rarely cost much
money. There is no reason to break the bank, somewhere with special meaning and romantic significance is usually your
best bet, the place where you shared your first kiss or your first romantic weekend away for example.
Contrary to popular belief there is more than one answer to “will you marry me?” so make sure you have discussed it first.
Although discussions about spending the rest of your days together may already have taken place, surprise proposals where
you catch her completely unawares are especially momentous. Going on one knee might sound outdated but it is a very
romantic gesture. Timing is everything so don’t leave it too late or she might ask you first. Discussing marriage first also
avoids humiliation if you are planning a public proposal – do your homework and make sure it’s what she wants. If in doubt
you could ask her closest friends or her sisters; they could even come in handy when planning a surprise proposal.

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Once she’s given you the green light you should ask her parents’ permission and only once permission POPPING THE QUESTION IN CYBERSPACE
has been granted should you go ahead and spend between one and three months salary on a Create your own web page with your proposal in it. You could email her the link or even better sit
ring - the spend differs depending on who you speak to but you should spend whatever you feel down together whilst looking for holiday destinations, for example, and randomly stumble across
comfortable spending. your website. Have her click on a YES or NO icon for an instant answer.

Most brides-to-be would prefer to have some input on the style and design of their engagement ring, However you decide to ask her remember that this will take your relationship to the next level. How
if in doubt rather borrow a ring - perhaps a family heirloom or a stand-in from the jeweler - until she you propose needs to match the way you feel about her so make sure it’s romantic, memorable,
has said yes and then go ring shopping together. A nice alternative is to purchase the diamond which original and impossible to refuse!
you can then present her when proposing and have it set to her liking afterwards. To make the most
of your budget learn to work with variations in size, quality and cut of the stone – your local jeweler
can assist with this (see our section on choosing a ring for more details).

Here are some ideas on WHERE and HOW to pop the question:

EXTREME PROPOSAL
If your girlfriend is a sporty type, you could propose to her whilst rock climbing and go on bended
knee when you reach the top or for dramatic effect pop the question whilst shark-cage diving. If you
are considering asking her whilst bungee jumping, make sure you have a good grip on the ring!

PICNIC PERFECT
A surprise picnic on the beach at sunset or in a lush forest is very romantic. After a scrumptious meal
and some bubbly you could spell “Marry Me” in the sand or with shells, stones or twigs. How could
she resist such an endearing proposal?

OSCAR WINNER
Put a video or DVD together with photographs of special moments together and pop the question
into the final frame. You might not win an Oscar but you’re bound to win her heart.

ROPPING IN HER GIRLFRIENDS
Throw her off by getting her girlfriends to pretend to plan a girly weekend away but when she gets to
the airport you’re there instead to whisk her away on a surprise romantic weekend for two.

BILLBOARD BLISS
Imagine on her way to work your girlfriend is greeted by a billboard saying: “Kathy, will you marry
me?” A huge romantic gesture with amplified effect – just make sure her brakes are working! You
might also want to include your name so she knows it’s from you!

MILE-HIGH CLUB
Not what you think! With your charming personality pursued the captain of a flight you’re on
together to pop the question for you: “Ladies and gentleman we will shortly be arriving at Durban
International Airport but before we do Robert would like to know if Mary would do the honor of
marrying him…” Enough to earn you innumerable airmiles!

SPECIAL OCCASSIONS
Pop the question on her Birthday or on Valentines Day – a double celebration is always welcome!
Only problem is how do you surpass the gesture every year thereafter.

FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD
Cook a romantic and elaborate dinner with candlelight and champagne (if your culinary skills are
restricted to toast then maybe get a professional in). Perhaps place the ring in the bottom of the
champagne glass or tie it with a ribbon onto a single stemmed rose.

AND THE SCORE IS…
At a rugby or cricket match (make sure she’s a fan first) have your proposal displayed on the score
board – the public display of affection is bound to be a winner.

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OUTWORKJohn’s Building Broad Shoulders
1. Seated Lateral Phase
Wedding Essentials’ resident trainer gives you his
Sit on the edge of a bench with your knees guide to creating the perfect physique to show off your
slightly higher than your waist. Begin with the wedding threads.
dumbbells first just below the level of your butt
and then slowly lift up the weights until they’re Shoulders are important to upper body strength and
parallel to each other at shoulder height. As a symmetrical physique. Wide delts help to create the
you’re lifting the weights up turn your hands as illusion of a smaller waist and it finishes that illusive
if you’re pouring water out of a jug (this helps to “V” that all men strive for.
keep proper form). Return the weights to the
starting position and immediately begin your This is an easy twice a week shoulder workout for
next rep. a guy whose too busy for a hectic workout routine.
Before we jump into the routine, here are a few tips
to ensure that you gain maximum benefit form your
shoulder routine.

1. Go into the gym with a mission; treat every
rep like it’s the only one you can do that day.
2. Do each rep slowly and in a controlled man-
ner; good form is crucial.
3. Remember that pressing movements build
muscle mass and isolation exercises help refine that
mass, therefore use lighter weights during your isola-
tion exercises (such as lateral raises) and focus hard
on good technique – feel the muscle burn.
4. Side delts take precedence over front delts
in this workout for two reasons: front delts are
overworked, due to loads of chest exercises, and side
delts can be harder to develop. Always do your lateral
raises at the beginning of your workout.
5. Always warm shoulders up thoroughly with
light weights and allow adequate rest between your
shoulder workouts (48 – 72 hours rest between shoul-
der workouts)

Workout One

Exercise Sets Reps

Standing lateral raise 3 12
Reverse Flye 3 10
Standing Military Press 4 8
Arnold Press 4 8
Seated Lateral Raise 3 12

Workout Two

Exercise Sets Reps

Seated lateral raise 3 12
Standing lateral raise 3 12
Seated behind the neck press 4 10
Alternate front dumbbell raise 4 12

2. Standing Lateral Position

Hold two dumbbells, one in each hand, in front of
your hips with the weights touching. Stand with
your feet shoulder width apart and knees slightly
bent, eyes focused directly in front of you.
Slowly lift the weights up until they’re parallel
to each other at shoulder level. As you raise the
dumbbells be sure that your elbows are slightly
bent and once again turn/rotate your hands as
if you’re pouring water out of a jug. Return the
weights to the starting position and begin your
next rep. Don’t use your lower-back momentum
for leverage.

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3. Reverse Flye 6. Arnold Press

Standing bent over at the waist, back flat, hold Bring two dumbbells up to chest level. In the
two dumbbells at arms length under you, but starting position, your palms are facing toward
don’t rest them on the floor. Raise the dumbbells your body and your elbows are pointing down.
to above back level, your elbows slightly bent. Press the dumbbells up overhead, rotating the
Execute this movement as though you’re trying weights so that your palms are facing forward
to touch your deltoids together behind your back. and the dumbbells are touching each other at the
Slowly lower the weights to the starting position. top. This is essentially a dumbbell press with a
Remember to keep the dumbbells aligned with twisting motion. Then lower the dumbbells to
your shoulders, your palms facing down and your chest level, adjusting the weights so that your
thumbs a little lower than the rest of your hands. palms are again facing you.

4. Seated behind-the-neck Military Press
with Barbell

Sit at the edge of a bench, feet shoulder width
apart and placed firmly on the floor. Keep your
chest high and back straight. Using an overhand
grip, hands shoulder width apart, lift a barbell
overhead, allowing it to rest on the heals of your
palms. Lower the weight to the nape of your
neck, and then push the weight back over your
head – contract your abdominals during the lift
to reduce strain on your lower back.

5. Standing Military Press with Barbell 7. Alternate Front Dumbbell Raise

Raise a barbell to your chest, hands shoulder Hold a dumbbell at each side at thigh level,
width apart. Bend knees slightly. Keep your el- knuckles forward. Focusing on your shoulder
bows in, just under the bar. Press the bar to arms muscles raise one weight up to shoulder level.
length overhead, then lower to your upper chest. Slowly lower and do the same movement with
your other arm. Ensure you control the weights
at all times.

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TIPS AND ADVICE FOR NEWLY
ENGAGED COUPLE COUPLES

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Getting engaged is a once in a lifetime experience that will fundamentally change your relationship forever.

Planning for the wedding is an exciting start to your married life together. Here are some wedding planning tips you
can use to make the planning process and your wedding day a fun, smooth and stress-free event.

DON’T RUSH INTO PLANNING
Take time to enjoy your engagement before you start planning anything. Talk with your fiancé about
what you both want for the wedding and examine all the options. This will give you both a clear direction
going forward. Avoid making any impulse decisions, even if you feel like it is the right choice. Walk away
and sleep on it.
DISCUSS AND DECIDE WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT
As a couple, decide on your wedding budget as early as possible, including a list of the things that are
most important to both of you for your wedding day. Having a set budget and sticking to it also reduces a
lot of stress going forward for all involved.
Visit a couple of wedding fairs in your area to get an idea of what is available. It will help you decide on
what you need and don’t want. Choosing the venue is most important so take your time. Once you have
secured the big decisions (venue, guest list, dress) then take some time off to enjoy being engaged before
resuming the planning. Taking breaks will help keep stress levels down for you and your fiancé.
CREATE DEADLINES FOR EACH GOAL
Don’t put anything off. Have everything set, booked, purchased and put together at least three months
before your wedding if possible. This will make the process more stress-free and prevents you from
making last minute changes or rush ordering due to not planning ahead.
FIND THE RIGHT BALANCE
Take time to relax with your fiancé, perhaps a couple of days each week, and avoid talking about wedding
related issues. Enjoy the time that you have together and continue to do the things you did before
becoming engaged.
THINK ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE
In your pursuit of the perfect moment, remember the true purpose of the day. You are marrying the
person that you love, everything else just adds to the celebration. Remember that your wedding day is
about your relationship, not just about you or your groom. WE

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WEDDING VOW TIPS
CRAFTING THE PERFECT PROMISES

Many people tend to struggle when finding the perfect way to describe their feelings,

especially the feeling of love one has for their partner. For centuries, poets and playwrights have scribbled
and struggled with this powerful yet delicate topic. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re struggling to get some
words down, it really isn’t easy, so we’ve compiled a list of helpful hints and tips to getting all those feelings
of affection and tenderness onto paper.
Make sure you give yourself enough time to say everything you want to say. Rushing it at the last moment
is not an ideal way to set up a list of lifelong promises to your beloved. It needs to be special, so avoid
procrastination.
Perhaps talk to your fiancé about it. Don’t give every last detail, it’s still mant to have a romantic element
of surprise. Just have a chat about the style you both want to go for in your vows. Should it be funny or
heartwarming? Silly or romantic? Bounce some basic ideas back and forth with one another, it could give
you the spark of inspiration you need.
When you start putting words to paper, surround yourself with inspiration. Put on a song that perfectly
encapsulates your love and have a look at some old photos of the two of you. Think about what it is that
you love so much about your partner. Think of memories, that one time when you looked at your fiancé
and decided that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
If you’re starting to struggle with the exact wording, make a short list of pointers for yourself. It’ll help you
get ideas out before you start polishing them off with pretty wording and eloquent sentences.
Start asking yourself questions about your partner. When did you realise you were in love with this person?
What was your first impression of them? How have they changed you as a person and why do they mean
so much to you? Asking yourself questions about your fiancé is a fantastic way to get some persoective and
inspiration.

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